Yo trey! im gonna get the pink one, you get the purple one! DAMMMMNNNN! OUr shit is gonna look soooo tight! Fo get off the chain, our shit broke the mofuckin chain!
 

I see a bad haircut, and a future nomination for Hottest Hott/ Most Expensive First Date for the 2009 Douchies.
 

I think I've seen "Trina" in an porno advertisment for one of those 500 man gang bangs.

The dudes stand in a line manipulating themselves ( for explanation see: Mom, Plinky's) while they wait their turn to stick their johnsoooon in one of the star "actress' " orafices.

For some reason these movies are being made but Lord knows they are about as entertaining as watching the army doctor work his way down the line as he says , "Look to the left and cough".




For further explanation of a 500 man gang bang see: Douche, Donkey, Ohio State Prison.
 

@Vin -

The douche here looks like one who'd also enjoy being the center of attention as you described.....
 

@Arch
Good call on the most expensive first date. Definitely a front runner.

The row of lights above them look like a thought bubble that never quite managed to form, which is probably an very appropriate allegory.
 

It really does look like a tick is shaved into his head. You know Tad, I prevented ticks on my dog with those little insecticide drops I put on the back of her neck. Maybe you can get Trina to do that for you.

Or, maybe she'll turn away from you and show us a little more cleavage. Either one.
 

Maybe this is a low-rent version of that matching outfits thing that David and Victoria Beckham do for big events: Tad got his scalp carved to match the strap pattern on Trina's dress. After all, you only get to go to the East Jeebus Junior Prom once!
 

Trina is almost guaranteed to get a Hottest Hott nod in the douchies. I would retrace the Bataan Death March wearing naught but mismatched socks and a cracked beer helmet to eventually join a work crew installing flying buttresses in Plinky's mom's collapsed poonanner to better accommodate through traffic only to be sworn at by her father's ninth grade shop teacher.

I'd also hump her on the good sheets.

(Look, I tried to stay away from the Plinky's mom jokes, I really did. It just fit. I'm a sad, weak little man.)
 

Cylon Number Six thinks the end of humanity is not coming fast enough.
 

Pink rhymes with stink, which is where Trina's left hand shall be.
 

Trina is Hall of Hott worthy, Tad is... umm.... pink?
 

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Mike was steadfast with his commitment to Gloria, in spite of her penchant for savage scalp-gouging during cunnilingus.
 

@DarkSock, 3:56 p.m. -

Maybe Gloria was trying to see if Mike was literally a "meathead" and wanted hamburger.
 

I'd eat her garbage just to see the look of disgust she'd throw my way.
 

Porno actress or not, I'd cut the head off an orphaned sea otter using only a butter knife just to get a chance to lick the underside of the coatrack at the coatcheck at her her prom.



or in other words, I have wood.
 

@ Chupa

Hot For Teacher. I need detention.

Trina? Holy cow, I would swear off the meatsword forever just for the chance to graze that soft white flesh along her side with the tip of my finger as she passed me on the dance floor of whatever hellhole this photo was taken in.

Tad? More than a tad douchey. The pink thing had its .276 seconds of ironic funniness and now it is OVER. Men don't need to "take back" anything. You guys have the codes to NORAD and you can pee standing up, leave our girl shit ALONE!
 

@medusa 4:21

She is quite the hott, but is it just me or does it look like she could possibly have what might be a case of orangatang titties?


ps. when can I taste your pie?
 

@ Medusa 4:21PM

Darlin', even a devotee of the meatsword like myself can tell that you are 10x the hott that Trina is on her best day.

To me, she looks like what my moms used to call a "gum snapper." A more contemporary sensibility might see in Trina a bit of Paris Hilton--remember those images of Hilton's blank face bathed in eerie green camcorder light while her "boyfriend" went through the coital motions?

My point? Trina looks like a girl who would answer the phone during sex. She doesn't deserve you.
 

I'm giving him a pass.

Tad has made 2 mistakes:

1) He let his sister try something she learned at the City Beauty Academy on his noggin.

2) He agreed to be in his cousin Vittorio's wedding party when the happy couple chose pink and black as their colors.
 

Trying one, croosh-style:

Tad and Trina were not only the best pharmaceutical reps that AstraZeneca had ever seen, they were about to rock their worlds in Dances with the Stars team-building workshop at the national sales meeting.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, there weren't any busting pustules of rancid semen. I've gotta practice.

And, M.O., if you swear off meatswords, would that include meatparingknives? Just curious...ahem...
 

The poor guy didn't even graduate high school. As soon as prom was over he became a magician.
 

This picture makes me feel...icky is the best descriptor I can think of. His facial expression just creeps me the fuck out. Its like he wants to molest the photographer. And she wants to watch. BBLLAAARRRGGG. But damn, I wish I looked that hot for my prom.
 

i really don't have anything to say other than trina is the hottest hott of this new year so far.
i know my opinion doesn't count for much in the grand scheme of things, but i would get that tasty morsel in the hall of hott.
 

These two look like they could possibly be a pair in a jive dance competition for the Ballroom Dancing Association. Ever see the way those dame dress? Trina has it. Only thing she lacks, my god, is maxi-makeup and hair pulled taut into a bun. Let us see their legs and feet, DB1, and then I can determine if they are into all that hoppin''round.

His haircut is merely where she grips with her claws and symmetrically pulls them across his scalp. Dance move.

Gots to get his curves to match her curls. He's smitten with Missy Kitten here.
 

I'm pretty sure January 2009 has so far been the best start to the Douche Hunting year since this sites been up. We've had a whole week of orange, "low brow" photos of scantly clad womans, a new category of bag "The Textbag" as anointed by DB1, Asian Jaws, and upwards of 3 hotts that could contend for HoH. And it's only January folks. I'm feeling good about this year. And by good, I mean vomiting all over my soldier standing at attention.
 

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Actually, the way you get that hairstyle is to shave yourself bald, apply some masking tape in the desired pattern, then lay on the spray on hair.

--VS
 

Hey, spamscrote! Adjust your targeting algorithm: We're talkin' douchebags here, not handbags!

Asswipe.

--VS
 

I'd def rock Trina ... and I guess I'd let "Tad" hold the camcorder ...
 

@VS

Spamscrote. Heh.
 

Verner has a special show backstage at the Caberet... Helga straps on a Bavarian cheese log & turns his gypsy ass into struedel
 

I dub thee Pinko Suave.

She is all kinds of naughty hot and from the looks of this photo, I think Pinko got lucky that night.
Funking bastard! Die Die Die......I'm sorry....where was I?
 

i don't know why, but this picture makes me wonder whether Trina hooked up with Tad after he convinced her that he's a... budding architect.

Crucial? DarkSock?
 

I looked at him and for some reason an old melody came to me:

"Skettley gumbo hottentot brumble and sweet"

I don't know why.
 

Oh, and I think he has a future as a pastry chef.
 

I am currently writing out the equations that describe the shaved patterns in his head. When I get the Fields Medal for advancements in mathematics, I'm gonna give y'all shout outs.

I will also shout out your names later when abusing myself to Trina's visage. It's a weird thing I do. That and the water sports.
 

She is soooooo cute.

I would lock her in my basement and reenact the charge Gettysburg...with my saber held high.
 

Wouldn't a ten gallon pink furry cowboy hat just make Tad's outfit? I mean honestly....
 

Tad's rendition of the Nazca Lines totally saved his geography grade.

Mike continued to have impure thoughts about Trina.
 

If it wasn't for him being a douchebag, he wouldn't be a douchebag. Does anyone get me here? She is all kinds of candy.

By the way, I'm back after my cross country journey and I'm now living in LA county. A douche mecca.

Crazy.
 

@ Steve L.

Unlikely scenario; all architects are insufferable fags.
 

Yay ! Chupacabra photo!
 

Does it make me gay if I wonder if he shaved crop circles in to his ball hair too?

Mmm strappy bondage boobies. Yeah I got nothin that damn Bahamian 151 proof has addled my brain worse than Brittney on a 4 week long bender.
 

You know what this guy's hair looks like that's making me feel he's even douchier than what meets the eye?

A tribal tattoo. His hair design looks like a home-drawn tribal tattoo. I can only imagine what cliche band of arbitrary lines he has crossing his bicep, let alone his ribcage.

Her on the other hand, there's no chance I'd get away with taking her out for a burger at Five Guys. And there's definitely not enough in my bank account for a 2nd date.
 

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@Lower Case Steve,

No matter what Darksock says, I believe Tad etched the outermost edges of Katrina’s satellite image in his skull to honor his mentor, Philip Johnson, who was straight as a Crystal Cathedral being glory holed in a Glass House.

Incidentally, Philip was from Cleveland.

@Mr. White,

I just ask that you yell my full name, Crucial Wadsworth Longfellow Head… instead of Croosh. But I’m selfish like that.

@Notadouche,

Compton hasn’t killed you yet? Damn! Respect bra!ski. Welcome back.
 

My mistress and I were browsing the PetSmart store the other day and I saw a pink satin outfit just like this one. For dogs. I kid you not. Even had a little necktie, but it was a bowtie.

Right down the aisle were dogclippers, for you know what.

I'm just sayin' he MIGHT be a dawg if he bought his outfit and shaver at PetSmart.

She looks like she leashes and leads, if you get my gist.

OWWWW!!!Grrrrrrr!Munchable bitch...
 

Never put your head up to a running weedwhacker......
 

So Honey,
what's with the man-hands and adam's-apple? At first I thought the A-cup cleavage flash was refreshingly self-confident, now, I'm questioning my sexual orientation.
 

@Notadouche

Welcome back to the Most Coast.
 

Bye the way, if my lats were as defined as Trina's I'd be getting kneed in the liver by Tito Ortiz(and no I'm not Jenna Jamison, I just think Trina has played her in a video I once watched, many, many times.)
 

good god she's fucking shweet. this picture makes me wanna run over my leg with a lawnmower. i fucking hate him, not out of jealousy, but just because we all know that a closet homo that would ever put that much interest in his hair clippings, while at the same time wearing a pink silky vest, should never, ever, never have a girl of that auspicious caliber by his fruity, yet probably overly masculine, side. what a dickbag. what a swedish mommy. atheism.
 

I know the hallmarks are there, but for some reason I'm not seeing the douche in this guy.
 

No sign of roots coming through the platinum blonde, $20 of manicure on each fingertip, Hollywood White teeth, bling from IVX Karats... the monthly upkeep on Trina alone has a comma and three zeros in it. Most Expensive First Date Hott for sure.
 

Hey, he's just in touch with his masculinity... constantly... and every one elses... She's obviously confused, soon to be verrrry disappointed -- AND smokin' hott!!!
 

Young Kellen Winslow with with his last alumni stipend was finally able to afford a smokin hot post operative tranny like all the other "guys" on the team.
 

Tad's hair looks like the solution to Fermat's Last Theorem.

Trina... expensive doesn't begin to define her!
 

I hate it when I leave my spoon in my oatmeal and then go to take a bite, only to be burned by my scalding hott spoon...

Which reminds me - I would shoot tongue darts down this hott's ass for days.
 

The little tiny farmer in his little tiny John Deer tractor was drunk the day he was supposed to trim Enrique's hair.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Flamboyent is too masculine a word to describe this fella.

- - - - - -- -- - - - -- - - -

The aliens who make crop circles got cute one night and decided to fuck with a human.

- - - - - - - - - - -- - -- -- - -

Lisa remained a virgin all her life because of her ever-present conjoined twin brother.
 

I think I see an Adam's apple... And it ain't on Pinko.

I'm just sayin'...
 

Whos the pitcher and whos the catcher?
 

@ Plinky 6:22 AM

Wow--that may be your best work to date on HCwDB. The first three of those four lines are pure genius. Well done! May I send you a tiara and a fruit basket?
 

@ Chupacabra

You little minx ... I'm already married. Give me the usual amount of time for a married man to get tired of his wife - ummmmm, like 3 months - then you and I can start our sordid affair. k?

But thanx for the shizzy. (Now I'm just making shit up)
 

hall of hott.
 

Trina regrets visiting The RamRod with her gay male friends and chatting with the bartender.
 

"Of course im straight you silly goose, us girls are just posing"
What a fag. Enough said.
 

Tragedy! On two levels.

1. This guy is SO close to notadouche. He's not mugging, no Jesus bling, no scrotal hand signs. All he needed was a different color choice and to put the trimmers down.

2. The hott is covered in half-hearted greico virus not not in my bacon flavored Cheez Whiz.