Kettlehead has to be a joke
 

Ang Lee brings you th epic saga "brokeback bag"
 

I hope the title of his next pic is "Kettlehead Buys a Shirt That Fits."
 

Is that plane a two-seater, DB1? 'Cause I'd arm-wrestle you to see which of us gets to dive in that puddle first.

Also,I would love to create a paper-mache sculpture of her boobies. Because they are round. And lovely. And I enjoy getting messy like that.
 

He was right when he said, "I'll be back!"
 

If Kettlehead's undies are as tight as his shirt, it would really explain a lot.
 

You know how a butterfly flaps its wings in Malaysia and causes a tornado in Nebraska? Kettlehead's button popped off and it caused 8 mutated babies and a two headed cow in Northern Australia.

Just saying.
 

nice syphilitic chancre sore on her lower lip...
 

I swear I saw that same shirt for sale....

in the LADIES business clothes section of The Gap.

And when I squint hard enough, she IS bleeth. filtered thru Smookums puddle water.
 

He doesn't deliberately wear tight shirts. It's just that his chest is so awesomely huge that he can't find a shirt to contain it.
 

if he's been wearing sunglasses for 3 pics in a row because he gets black eyes all the time for being a douchebag, then i can understand.
 

ok time for me to piss someone else off in a kettlehead thread to hit up 200+ posts
 

Kettlehead is vying for the weekly with a passion unmatched since Bubbles jealously flung poo at Lisa Marie.
 

That's not manscaping, that's poor genes. I shake more loose hair out of my underwear every day than that tool can grow out in a week.
 

I didn't think you could buy a halloween costume, accessories and all, at Texaco.

I did, however, think that my viscous, spackle-like semen would hit those salad-bar splashguard sunglasses and permanently seal them to her head.
 

The term "Cerulean Poo" comes to mind.
 

4 out of 5 4-color-offset Printing Press Operators agree that Cyan is definitely Kettlehead's color.

-He should get a Ford Mustang to match.
 

Do you think he's balding?
This is definitely a Tim McGraw - wannabe, with a big dollop of dueche on top.
 

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to the public at large for inventing spandex when I worked at DuPont Chemical in 1959. At the time all I was trying to do was create an elastic fiber with which to produce more effective support hose for my mother-in-law so she'd shut the hell up about her goddamned chronic thrombosis. It was a little dream of mine.

Little did I know that fifty years later my invention would be used to promote the unsettlingly body-conscious clothing worn by the visually-impaired young man seen here. He looks vaguely reminiscent of Jane Russell when my wife and I met her in Palm Springs in 1960. I think it's the mustache.

Again, please understand that my intentions were good. Bob Oppenheimer, Bertie Russell and I used to speak of this over rounds of whiskey sours and vodka gimlets while listening to Thad Jones at the Vanguard on Monday nights.

Man, the world's a crazy place.
 

Somehow the raised eyebrow is the worst thing about the whole getup. Even worse than the obvious Bleething taking place before our very eyes.
 

@ the bag queen 7:23

AWESOME. I love cerulean poo, it's one of my favorite pigments! As is alizarin crapson, ultramarine poo, crapmium yellow light, and of course... on the hott pictured here, tit-anium white.
 

hahaha look at his dainty little hands!
 

Sadly Kettlehead and little friend Zitty got last place in the Maricopa County Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson look-a-like contest winning front row tickets to her next performance.
 

At first it is easy for the jaded bag hunter to overlook the signs in this picture; much like an overworked counselor on the Republican suicide hotline during Obama's inauguration.

But: Too-tight narcissist shirt + popped collar + shades indoors = weeklies.


Mr. Shivers:

I love you
 

@ BDB, wanna go at it again lol.

I'm just kidding, but that thread did reach epic proportions.


Kettle fucking head. He looks like a douchier Toby Keith in this photo, a Toby Queef if you will.
 

To the Tune of "Thank God I'm a Country Boy". No, I'm not apologising to John Denver, because a: HE'S DEAD and b: He sucked donkey balls anyway.

Well life on the farm
Is kinda laid back
Nothin for a boy to do but hack
Better fuck it now
Gonna get it in the sack

Thank God I'm a horse's ass

Well, my wife she's young
But my Grandma's old
gonna cook her now
Gonna throw her on the stove
Better eat her now
Cuz she's gettin cold

Thank God I'm a horse's ass

Well I got me a hammer
And I got me a nail
Gonna fix my head
To the side of a pail
Trains coming now
Gonna lay on the rail

Thank God I'm a horse's ass
 

With the amount of cleavage this cowboy is showing I'm guessing "he's" about 3 months in to hormone therapy and about 18 months away from gender reassignment surgery. Tara Reid hott should get on his pokey while it's still an outtie. I'm guessing "he's" going to want to borrow her dresses as well as her blouses in the near future.

He was country before country was gay.
 

I would also like to add that I'd like to be the 1st to break in this butt cowboy's mudhorn.




With the business end of a gas pump and a lit blowtorch.
 

damn! late again!

now my witty remark about him being late for the auditions for the Brokeback Mountain sequel won't resonate with the same spicy zing.....


bummer....
 

Chad and Mary Lynn dressed up as Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill look-a-likes. Here they pose for a picture moments before Chad passed out from chest pains.
 

someone needs to hammer fist bostondbag's mom in the uterus for producing such filth.
 

^^ keep momma boston d-bag outta this
 

Hey guys, it's Toby Bleeth! Fresh off a USO tour. Welcome home, buddy. She is a marvelous, if not slightly diseased, Marilyn look alike in that dress. (Monroe, not Manson) They could make beautiful poo together....sigh. Royal blue is a fine color on a man of your size. And by size I mean sexual preference
 

you should have been aborted, either at a clinic or preferably with a hanger. Go swallow a knife
 

You can gladly take a "stab" at me whenever you'd like
 

douche vader what happened to your lake-show 2OT or not 2 guys on the bobcats came up just short of triple doubles
 

I dunno db1 ... that's some pretty hot cleavage there. And the girl's cute too.
 

Son of a gun, if he's a country singer wearing that sort of blue, he can only be...

a cerulean warbler...

with apologies to many a bird-watcher.

And I ain't a bird-turdin'.

She's whiter than fresh pigeon poop on a just-waxed little deuce coupe.

Especially those panties under that see-through skirt. And that rim-job on her shades.
 

BDB, did you ever go for that 5 am jog and not get mugged?
 

Yea, all the bums in my town love me though I constantly give them money so they wouldn't fuck with me (I support their drug habits).

I've had a guy attempt to mug me once. When I showed no regard for my own life telling him he best stab me til I drown in a pool of my own blood. He realized he was wasting his time and booked it.
 

Fucking Bobcats. Can't solve those guys.

Oh my word. Look at these two. Nice blouse Kettlehead. And nice multiple ear piercings. And such delicate manscaping. And faggy hat. And also, that half raised eyebrow is a SPOT ON impersonation of the Rock's character in Be Cool (or whatever the hell they called Get Shorty 2).

8 dollars says this guy is wearing a thong. BdB can check for us (welcome dude!).

Boob curtains = auto bleeth. Feed her to the trolls.
 

this broad has darker roots than LeVar Burton. The only reason shes wearing sunglasses is to tone down the color on Kettleheads Baby Gap Polyester dress shirt.

and for Kettlehead he looks like a trailer trash David Blaine now I'm just waiting for him to disappear.
 

@ BDB:

Levar Burton -- that was PRIME!!!
 

Clearly, they're heading out for an evening of torrid saddlebacking.
 

Bleeth Urban.
 

Bagger - What kind of guitar is that? The pick ups look all chromey and single coil - like an old Teisco, but I don't think Teisco ever made a double neck - certainly not a 6/4 combo...
 

I did some research (aka GOOGLE) and found that yes, Teisco DID make a double neck - Bagger: is this the same as yours?
 

Looks like that incredi-douche Tim McGraw, but not his milfy wife Audrey Faith Hill.

Tim McGraw deserves to be strapped, deer style, to the windshield of his tour bus and driven through a car wash.
 

@ TT:

HOLY CRAP!!! That's dead-nuts on. Where did you find it?

It wasn't my 6/4. We were recording at New Alliance Studio in '96. (Allston, MA. Don't go looking for it, it's not there anymore.) Snow falling LAMF, much like today. The 6/4 was the studio's. I didn't record with it, but it played good like a Teisco should.

Mine's a 77 Fender P. Looks like Dee-Dee's.
 

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This comment has been removed by the author.
 

@ Bill:

Absulutely, but I might substitute "steel bulkhead" for "car wash."

But that's just me.
 

@ Troy:

Correction, it was Bird Dog Studio in Allston. It's still not there anymore.
 

What, couldn't find that shirt in suede?
 

Nothing pronounces your masculinity like a soft, lilac blue.
 

Douche Brooks or Scrotey Travis?


--VS
 

Douche McGraw
 

Choady Keith
 

Kenny Choadney
 

Dwight Doucheham
 

Lyle Lovedouche
 

Rascal Fag
 

Brad Punchme
 

Willie Nelnut
 

The Man in Blue, Johnny Ass
 

Don't it make his brown shirt blue...
 

"Achey Douchey Heart"
- Billy Ray Cychoad
 

kettlehead seems confused, he's trying to look "fly" with his pastel super tight button up with popped collar, designer jeans, gucci shades, and then a COWBOY hat?
 

@Bagger

@ TT:

HOLY CRAP!!! That's dead-nuts on. Where did you find it?

Google. search on

teisco double neck

then click on images. go through the pages - it's there.

best,

T
 

@ TT:

I think I meant, "where in the world is it located?" Ah, hell... I'll look myself. Thrill of thee hunt and all that.

Nice to hang with a fellow affishyunado.

Thanks again!

Fuk Nik.
 

She's a little bit cuntry, he's a little bit lock and load... and shoot!
 

so is there ANY chance this guy has PUBES??? :)