Wednesday, January 21, 2009
HCwDB of the Week: Studs Urkel
All three pics had supporters. All three pics almost won.
But the creepy tri-vag facial pubes, 20 degree Jesus Bling Hat Tilt, and the sexy, curvy Cleopatra took the most votes:
dbBen: Studs Urkel. Only Ming the Merciless should have a beard that pointy.
Anonymous: i gotta go with Studs, easily the hottest hott, and the most punchable face of the bunch
The Donger: Studs Urkel FTW, but I nominate WTF for a 2009 Douchie in the category of Douchiest Bling.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Vaginas: studs urkel for the win. having cornrows on your face is a poorly thought out idea.
Anonymous: Studs Urkel, The unbelievable hotness to douche nozzle ratio is just too unbalanced not to give recognition.
Excellent and concise evisceration on the part of all 'bag hunters and huntresses, good work people. But The Oily Bohunk also had support:
Frederic Choadpin: The simplicity of Bohunk may hurt him in the end, but he is all douche. His simple genius is reminiscent of the subtle and introspective genius of a Miles Davis solo, with the fecal stench of Kenny G's soprano. Bohunk FTW.
stitchgroover: Gotta vote for Oily Bohunk. This guy is pure douche - no hats, no belts, no tatts... just essence of douche.
The Bohunk had classic 'bag essence, and a tasty girl-next-door, and was a worthy candidate. Meanwhile, the freakish Sunday WTF aka 'Bag Bats Maru also found support:
pineconeboy: The Sunday WTF is just too hilariously surreal to pass up. Another vote for Bag Bats Maru.
Anonymous: 'Bag Bats Maru FTW. What more can I say other than grill + boobies = winner.
But the everpresent Anonymous explains why S.U. and Cleo are too strong a hottie/douchey coupling to ignore:
I would have to give Studs the win here as well. This douche-waffle shows an extra level of skeezerness by carrying around an SLR camera to make hotties think that their picture may wind up someplace other than this wank's flat screen monitor in a darkened room (ok, that's an image I will have a hard time dismissing) or MySpace. Besides, how can you take a picture with your hat pulled over your face and the lens cap probably still on the lens??
The camera was the key uber-douche givaway that many 'bag hunters missed in this pic. It is technology as a douchrement. As such, it should be mocked.
Great work to all who voted, and we'll see Urkel and Cleo in the Monthly.
Comments:
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Yeah Urkel. You are without a doubt, a double cross, double tiger, double dipshit.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by 
: 7:10 AM
: 7:10 AM
This clown dropped off a bag of old clothes to the Salvation Army and they sent it back to him with this note:
Please don't insult the poor and homeless; they're already struggling as it is.
Please don't insult the poor and homeless; they're already struggling as it is.
She is a delicious little morsel of Goth hottness and he is a peanut-studded chili trud. A good "winner."
"I'd just like to thank God, cuz without you none of dis shit would be possible and I never would of thought of this tri bling hat. I'd also like to thank my girl cleopatra....I LOVE YOU GIRL!!! A big shout out to chrizz payne over at the shutter bug. Thanks dawg fo keeping the sto open late fo me."
The Studs Urkel HCwDB weekly winner ball will commence later this evening, after the HCwDB weekly winner parade down skid row.
Make sure you pick up your Studs Urkel commemorative beard raker, dogtags, and herpicin while supplies last. Sorry but we're fresh out of Studs Urkel commemorative butt plugs.
Make sure you pick up your Studs Urkel commemorative beard raker, dogtags, and herpicin while supplies last. Sorry but we're fresh out of Studs Urkel commemorative butt plugs.
@PLINKY!@
IN THE BIBLE, JESUSU WA CRUCIEFIEDX WITH TWO FAGATOHTY CRIMINALS, ONE ON A FUCEN CORSS ON EITHER SIDE OF JC!@ ONE HAD FUCEN TARMAL AND SAID "FUE THIS ASSHOE>S!" AND OTHEO TOEHR BEGED FOR FUCEN FOFRGIVENESS! THATS WHY YOU OFTE NSEE THREE CORSSES IN CHRISTINA ICONOGRAPHY!
IN THE BIBLE, JESUSU WA CRUCIEFIEDX WITH TWO FAGATOHTY CRIMINALS, ONE ON A FUCEN CORSS ON EITHER SIDE OF JC!@ ONE HAD FUCEN TARMAL AND SAID "FUE THIS ASSHOE>S!" AND OTHEO TOEHR BEGED FOR FUCEN FOFRGIVENESS! THATS WHY YOU OFTE NSEE THREE CORSSES IN CHRISTINA ICONOGRAPHY!
# posted by : 8:23 AM
: 8:23 AM
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a tilted triple-cross hat, elaborate facial hair topiary, and multiple necklaces, MUST be a douchebag in want of a righteous beatdown.
@ Flyteeth
You sir are not only a historian with impeccable research, you're a goddamned enlightened soul.
May I take you in as a pet?
You sir are not only a historian with impeccable research, you're a goddamned enlightened soul.
May I take you in as a pet?
Yeah Studs! We always knew you were destined for Great Things. Maybe the stench of internet fame will move your supplier to front you that dime bag you've been jonesing for.
I take a couple of days off from pushing my various agendas on here and I return to find that WE'RE STILL CALLING THIS GUY STUDS URKEL!?
Why? This is Sir Sux-A-Lot. They are one in the same, goddammit. How would the '08 Douchies have gone if keen 'baghunters hadn't noticed that Metaphysical Hooligan was posted under no less than three different names? Sir Sux-A-Lot is giving it his all to take his shot at the title here.
We gotta give credit where credit's poo.
Why? This is Sir Sux-A-Lot. They are one in the same, goddammit. How would the '08 Douchies have gone if keen 'baghunters hadn't noticed that Metaphysical Hooligan was posted under no less than three different names? Sir Sux-A-Lot is giving it his all to take his shot at the title here.
We gotta give credit where credit's poo.
@PLINY
I WILL BE YOUF PET B*UT I IWLL SHIT BEVERYTHWER AN D FUCKEI OYRIO GIRLFIREND!
I WILL BE YOUF PET B*UT I IWLL SHIT BEVERYTHWER AN D FUCKEI OYRIO GIRLFIREND!
# posted by : 9:38 AM
: 9:38 AM
DoucheUntoOthers is correct. sucksalot and urkel are the same. I forgot all about that. furtermore, Sucks-a-lot already won the weekly. Just two weeks ago!!!
Therefore, we have to give the Weekly to the second place finisher, whoever that is.
It's not like there was a paucity of scrote to choose from.
Hey DB1 - I know you've got a seriously tough job, (you couldn't pay me enough to switch places) but still - dude!
:-/
Therefore, we have to give the Weekly to the second place finisher, whoever that is.
It's not like there was a paucity of scrote to choose from.
Hey DB1 - I know you've got a seriously tough job, (you couldn't pay me enough to switch places) but still - dude!
:-/
# posted by : 9:43 AM
: 9:43 AM
Hmm, if that is Sir Sucks-a-Lot, and the hair thing makes me think it is, I'll just combine 'em in the monthly.
Bag Bats Maru wuz robbed! Suxalot put on a silly hat and a lice-ridden merkin and wins another Weekly? This aggression will not stand, man. C'mon, Bag Bats pays good money to get his picture taken with Bleeths twice his size!
And TT, to explain why I can't recognize pics that have run before, realize that for every one you see on the site, I look at another 25-30 submissions, so I can't tell my ass from Donkey Douche's face half the time.
- management
- management
@ Flyteeth,
It might be a hard sell, but let me talk about it with the wife tonight and I'll let you know.
btw, do you clean dishes?
It might be a hard sell, but let me talk about it with the wife tonight and I'll let you know.
btw, do you clean dishes?
Wow what waste.... she could have been mine... instead she goes off with some faded douche chode bait
# posted by : 3:00 PM
: 3:00 PM
@DB1, 9:50 a.m. -
And then there's that lethal 'Train/PBR holdover effect that not even Ho-Ho's can fix.
And then there's that lethal 'Train/PBR holdover effect that not even Ho-Ho's can fix.
Wow, Flyteeth, I am equally impressed as is Plinky, I'm sorry I wasn't around yesterday to applaud your wisdom. And a little more for ya: The man who asked for forgiveness, Dismas, was later canonized as a Saint. He was rumored, on the eve of the cruicfixion, to have stolen a fifth nail that was to be driven through Christ's forehead. I know not the certainty of this,as us Americanized Irish & Roman Catholics don't recognize any of that, but he is lauded in the Italian and Orthodox ends of Catholocism as "The Good Thief". Despite the fact that "Thou shalt not steal" is in the ten commandments. But for him there's an exception. Catholics are fucked up. Just look at me, sheesh.
@ Plinky
Smear honey on Mrs. Plinky's boobies for Flyteeth, wouldja? He loves that.
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@ Plinky
Smear honey on Mrs. Plinky's boobies for Flyteeth, wouldja? He loves that.
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