Plinky!! I knew your mug would show up.
 

Plinky!! I knew your mug would show up.
 

I love perfectly natural and wholesome girls like the blonde on the left.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Weekend at Bernie's 7: Two bleeths. One dead douche. And the plot thickens...
 

Eeeeeeewwwww. Right hott, sure. But left? There is less plastic and wax in the Mattel factory. Is ANY of you real? God I hope not. Let us just pray that you are the terrifying result of someone's nightmarish Pygmalion complex.

Good lookin' out, dude. Really, considering the alcohol and heroin problem, you don't look half bad for 32. Now use your Scissor Mafia Super Powers and cut right hott's strap.
 

Ach! Ugh, holy fuck someone put that leather bag's purse over her head so I don't have to see her face anymore. Mmm, premature aging, it does not do a body good. Neither do those HORRID plastic balls attached to her chest. Jesus, did she go to Walmart for her cosmetic surgery? It looks like shit.

Her daugher Kiki is cute and still has hope, let us pray she learns how to use sunscreen.

Someone put gramps to bed, his meds are starting to kick in and I am not cleaning him up this time.

God damn, its like a swirling vortex of Ed Hardy diarrhea in this picture.
 

It looks like someone dressed up a mental patient in douche gear.
 

Barbie and her lil' sister Skipper pose with Kadaver Ken.
 

I think hag on the left is as old as Gramps there.

AV
 

Left "hott" just proves the rumor that whenever there's a manufacturing mistake at the Real Doll factory, they sell the "errors" as factory seconds.
 

This time, the jokes on you Richard Lewis.
 

now gramps needs to get some Quakerstate SAE 10-40 wt. & start smearing & grabbin' some boobie
 

Hott on the right is fucking scrumptious.

I actually dont mind the groping gramps. Fuck it. hes on his way out anyway. See where ed hardy will get you in your last moments. Maybe some T&A from a bleeth, maybe a bullet from flyteeth. Doesnt matter.
 

Oh God, my eyes.
 

this is what shopping at out let malls can do for you
 

I'm skeered.

Kiki take me away!
 

@ Anon 10:35

I checked out The Dirty last night for shits-n-giggles and I was wrong, Nik Ritchie is funnier than you. And that dude's jokes are more wooden than Dark Sock's huge junk on 4 Vigara tabs.

- - - - - -

Caption: The Godfather, Part Douche

- - - - - - -- - - - -

Caption: Dark Sock raised 2 beautiful daughters but unexplicably lost his mind and sense of style at age 55.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why do I get the feeling this dude's got a moonshine jug full of tabacco spit and an El Camino sitting on cinder blocks in his front yard?

- - - - - - - - - - -- -- - --

I think Nascar's advertising attempt hits the mark in at least one very specific market.

- - - - - -- -- - - - - - -

Caption: Creature showing of his masterful wax creations.

- - - - - - - - - -- -- - -- -- -

Caption: In Costa Rica Crucial Head senior illlustrates the benefits of selling fried banana chips to leper children at a 500% markup.

- - - - - - -- - -- - - -- - -- '

Caption: Plinky's mom can really use a shave.
 

Ya know, the more I look at this picture, the more I gotta say, god bless this guy. Despite years of medication abuse, and exploding colon, a lazy eye, and the fact that his sister still dresses him, he STILL has the wherewithal to know to lean AWAY from the nightmare on the left and TOWARD the hott on the right. Fortunately he can't feel his scalp anymore 'cause factory 2nd there (good one Mr. White) is trying to pull him back with a fistful of hair. He's probably not even conscious of any of this...his prostate probably hasn't functioned in years, but it is good to know that the force known as Man Gravity is still in full effect.
 

THAT'S A MAN, BABY!!!
 

@Plinky 10:57

Viagara

you fuck!
 

Internet porn producer Hank HangLeft at the premier of his new spankfest, "What's A Little Hot Carl Between Friends, Eh?" flanked by stars Connie Colonshaft and Runnie Taintstain.
 

@ Spell Nazi 11:06.


Thanks Dark Sock.
 

@ Anon 10:35

Really dude? C'mon now. Be serious for a moment. Do you REALLY think that Plinky is NOT funny? 'Cause I am, on average, popping about 5 colostomy bags a day laughing at his stuff.

Now I can understand if you really DO like his work and are just handing him easy targets to coax another fine line out of him (Darksock, perhaps it is maybe your 9th personality doing this? Check the list). But if that is the case, c'mon man, you're dealing with a practical professional here! No need to lob softballs at him. At least throw the proverbial slider or curve ball in there every once in a while to mix things up. 'Cause otherwise, it's kinda starting to seem like you are his joke gimp or something. Hell, even Ed McMahon took Johnny Carson for a spin on occasion.

On the off chance that you really DON'T find him funny...uh, ok. Sorry, but I can't relate on this one. However, I must ask: is this really how you spend your free time? Trolling around the internet pointing out things that AREN'T funny? Not that I am one to judge, spending about 14 hours a day here and pointing out things that ARE funny...but heck, isn't there anything even slightly more constructive to do?

Actually, scratch all that. I'm just going to go about my business and assume you are really on the fan/lobbing softballs side of the game. Keep it up, but really, try for a fastball on occasion.
 

@douche

"Why do I get the feeling this dude's got a moonshine jug full of tabacco spit and an El Camino sitting on cinder blocks in his front yard?"

no, I really do think he sucks.
 

Phil Esposito with some pop out porn stars
 

Ok, but how about

"Caption: Plinky's mom can really use a shave."

C'mon now! Coming from Plinky? That's not funny? No? Nothing?
 

btw, that El Camino line was funny... jus' sayin'
 

@ Vader


Damn, I need a cigarette after that great fuck!! You wanna join my wife and me one night? Damn dude my nips are now hard.

Anyway, no need to defend me. I can hold my own and it really doesn't bother me. I know I hyper-post on this website and much of my "stuff" is rapid-fire and I can see how "someone" might get a little tired of seeing my name, but you know what? FUCK 'EM!! I don't care!!

But with regards to Anon (stalkers) in general: I do see how annoying they are and how they detract from this site. In fact I was more angered by Ed's and Pfah's anon stalkers than I am my own. But I regress, egress, pro-gress, er, whatever.

I too think it's lame to come here and Nik Ritchie other peoples' work. I respect all who come here and try to be funny, even if they aren't in the same league as some of the more "popular" and .. uh hum ... professional bloggers. And in my most supreme - and my last! - ass sucking moment, I pretty much enjoy reading everyone's stuff. It makes my day fly by. And as nice a group of people as my co-workers are, they bore me to fucking tears. And there's 12 inches of snow outside.

Thanks for the props Vader. I respect you for putting yourself out there like that. But don't worry about me big guy.

btw - your's and creature's winnings was mailed today. Heh heh heh. Have fun with it.
 

Gramps plays a game with the camera, flashing the number of real boobs in the picture and daring you to guess.
 

These comment threads are becoming more and more like a circle jerk everyday.









I miss pfah.
 

If your wife looks anything like your mom, then no thanks Plink. And if you look anything like your mom, then HELL no. In fact, I'm just gonna have to pass on the whole offer, thanks tho.

And I'm not defending you. I really AM curious as to what motivates people. Been studying human psychology in a Zero Effect kinda way for many moons. Plus, ever since BvG's bag whisperer line, well, I kinda enjoy playing the part.

But if someone is gonna hang around all day saying nothing more than "Plinky Sucks", well, I'm gonna encourage them, honestly, to be a bit more creative about it. 'Cause that's what this place is all about.
 

Sorry Ronald, my bad. Sometimes I just can't help but ask the questions rattling around in the jello mold I call my dome. Will try to keep it to a minimum.
 

Tho I do like a good circle jerk.
 

Plinky swallows!

& Ronald, cram it!
 

I wonder if he got the aarp discount on those rentals?

Send orange back her junks bigger than socks.

If the left hooter kills then what does the right one do? Spray?

Livestrong? How bout just Live gramps? Keep it up.
 

Little known fact: the largest circle jerk ever performed (measured by circumference) was done with Plinky's mom sitting in the middle. At the end everyone turned to the center and blew their load. It looked like the inverse of a snow capped mountain.
 

holy shit i didn't know Botox can do that to your face.

left bleeth that is. hottie on the right is bang on. and by bang on i mean, um, just BANG.

so is this some charity event for homeless people or what?

not that i have anything against homeless people. i've worked with a homeless rodman who makes more money than me.
 

I didn't say it was a bad thing *jizzes*
 

I prefer elliptical jerks, but I am a mathematician.
 

while we're encroaching on Plinky's wife, i'd like to hear about all the significant others of the HCwDB population.

we've heard about the hot wives of Pfah, DarkSock, and Croosh (no pic of Croosh's wife though!).

what about Vin Douchal, Frodo Douchebaggins, et al? (from their descriptions of their Christmas dinners, i'm guessing Vin and Frodo are also married, in the very least)

Ashfish's boyfriend? Ms. Aqua (we almost got to hear from her!)?

man oh man i expect a magnificent circle clusterjerk from all this snooping around on people's private lives. :D
 

Bravo, math boy!!
 

Only jerks talk in circles.
 

I am DarkSock.
 

Circle jerks, strange clothed plastic dolls, strange old men and Douche Vader's psychobabble and all I can think about is the word bunk. There is something wrong with me. Everytime I read this site now all I can think of is the word bunk.
 

^ heh heh
 

Ed Hardy fashions, appearing in truck stop shitters near you.
 

The ring girls bring out the next contestant on Bum Fights.
 

@Shamespear

There is nothing wrong with you, it's completely natural.
 

All circle jerks aside. I am becoming more and more infatuated with right side hott.


@plinky,crucial,vader,creature....

see you in Samurai scrotes thread later tonight
 

He's got three more just like 'em trussed up in his basement.
 

ick those hots are the opposite - nots. plastic injected barbies. Man that dude is nasty - they're probably holding him up so he doesn't fall over dead.
 

Cleetus liked to walk around with his imaginary cigar and cajole bleeths to drink from his half keg of down home fixins'.
 

@bringdown

Bum fights cracked my ass up. So here's your iBJ: {slurp, slurp}
 

I like math.
 

If you look at this picture long enough, you'll start to feel like you just smoked a ton of crystal meth.

I've never done crystal meth, but surely it must feel like this.
 

skanky bleeth sensation (Brenda) is holding Gramps up, and pulling him off his step daughter (Amanda).

25 years ago, Brenda was a campfollower/groupie for REO Speedwagon, Cheap Trick, and Kajagoogoo. She tried to groupie the Pet Shop Boys, but they're gay, so that didn't work out so good.

When she realised her gaydar had shut down, all she could hear was the screaming of her ovaries yelling "BABY NOW", and on a drunken night in Barstow, she picked up a flyboy from Edwards AFB, took him to the Travelodge off I-40 and had him fill her with enough baby batter to make her snatch resemble a squished yogurt container. Nine months later her tax deduction arrived, and she named the sprog Amanda, because it sounded nice.

Brenda went to the ITT Institute and studied to be a Dental Assistant, which she is still her day job. Her night job is stripping at Teaser Pleaser in Bakersfield.

She has become increasingly nearsighted over the years, and this has pleased her male patients because in order to "really get in there" with the ultrasonic cleaning wand, the patient has little else to do but quietly restrain themselves from motorboating her silicon assets. This gives her and the Dentist's practice lots of repeat business and is improving the dental hygiene of Shafter exponentially.

She met Gramps at a swap meet, and his former employment as a long distance truck driver gave her plenty of time to indulge herself and raise Amanda. Now that he's around all the time, she's finding it difficult to keep Grampy's paws off her kid, especially since he had a stroke last year.

The Ed Hardy Shirt was amanda's idea. "It'll make Gramps look cool and all jiggy with my homies!"
 

I didn't know that Eddie Money was out on tour again. The saddlebag on the right must be his original roadie (Baby hold on to me!). The ultra-super-uber hott on the right is pure perfection. I would eat Eddie's and the saddlebag's hats just to inhale even a single molecule from one of her silent-but-deadly farts.

Winne-the-Poon
 

With so much Ed Hardy adorning each body, I can only conclude:

Tarmal Gone Wild.

Or, as in the very baroque and highly decorative south India:

Tamil nadu.
 

May the Peacock of Poopiness perch on all their posteriors.

And may the fickle finger of fate grab the MILF's and Sugar's titties, and give Gramps the shitties.
 

I can't hate on this guy. Judging by his pallor, he is suffering from liver failure. Also, I don't really care that he's dressed up like a douche, another bagger in the night. I think the elderly have earned the right to express themselves however the fuck they want, and have it automatically never suck. But that's just me. Rock on dude. May you die with a smile on your face and a bleeth wrapped around you.
 

Ya know, I KNEW our culture was goin' down the friggin' toilet when I started hearing Baby Boomers using "awesome" & "bling" & "best (something) ever!!" but seeing this decripit yutz doin' the scissor gang mafia sign is just too much! I think I'll go take a bath with about 20lbs of C4 & a few blasting caps...
 

I'm pretty sure that chick on the left IS Grandma Bertha. Either thats stage 5 old-lady-bleeth or she gets her skin care products from a taxidermist. This is one of the few, and by few I mean first, pictures that i have seen on this site where i want to punch the chick more than the dude. She is horrifying.

At least gramps kept his shirt on.
 

Sturgis jumped the shark a long time ago.
 

Damn, Rob Morrow looks like shit after a weekend coke bender.
 

I expect him to bust out any second in a high Jim Nabors tenor, "SURPRIZE, SURPRIZE, SURPRIZE!!!"

Vader, Plinky -

Nope, all my alter egos are retired, and none of them were trolls; just variations on a theme.
 

Rob Morrow can suck my mahogany balls.

He RUINED one of the few TV shows I ever bothered to watch: Northern Exposure. Everything was going great, then he got greedy and refused to compromise on the $$$. When he left the show, the chemistry suffered, and that was it.

If he had patience and some piece of common sense, Northern Exposure could have rolled on for YEARS and then they could pull a "FRIENDS" collectively and get a jillion bucks an episode. But, NO. Little Robby wanted his take NOW. Fucker.

And he wasn't even my fave character. My fave was the ex-con DJ.

I WANT HIS JOB.

Pay me to sit around and read the paper and play music all fucking day to a captive audience.

i'm THERE. Especially with internet access, so I could stream all kinds of crap onto the radio. THAT would rock. I want that job...
 

Being a stroke victim these days has it's perks!
 

wow...eddie money has really gotten his shit back together, he almost looks as good as ever...glad to see "two tickets to paradise" hasn't lost its magic at pulling the bleeth
 

Yeah gramps knockin boots with blondies I quess thats the power of ed hardy
 

When did Al Swearengen find the secret to time travel?
 

Who's that?
His daughter and grandaughter?
Sick.
 

It's Dirty Jerz's own Vinny Kimmel!
 

nice hat......
 

Get back under my car, Mr. Belushi, and change those brakes. Leave these plastic teeted bimbos to me.