Doesn't this guy own any normal shirts? I mean jesus. now there was a man with taste in shirts. Jesus. fuck. my brain is no longer entirely functional. what's going on. damn you carl's junior.
 

Button it up Kettlehead. We have seen enough.

Peach tube top is hall of hott
 

The damn eyebrow. It mocks me.
 

I think kettlehead is the next gator. He is slowing but surely going to be exposing full pecs and the ever present stoic stare in every pic.
 

Mr. Belvadouche said it all at 3:37 p.m.

Close this thread.
 

i think kettlehead has wardrobe dyslexia.
 

i live in the same city as this hall-of-scrote-worthy uberdouche, and I have never seen him without sunglasses. Maybe he has a glass eye? He's a club promoter in South Texas, and trust me when i say that the pictures do not begin to express the level of douchitude this guy possesses.
 

He has less chest hair than a fetal pig. And is clearly proud of it.
 

I have the same problem with my pants zipper as he does with his top buttons.

Because my junk is huge.

Just wanted to add that last part.

In case you didn't get it.

That's all.
 

Her earrings would make nice holsters for balls during fellatio.

I'm just sayin'...
 

Meh. This douche is kinda boring me. Maybe a few glasses of Franzia this eve'll get the mock juices flowin'.

This hott's making me look forward to the moment I lock my bathroom door in about an hour and a half.
 

I see this guy more as the next Peaches...what with his absolute and utter dedication to a maneuver (the eyebrow raise) that he has made his own which wasn't even that douchey to begin with, but then when you see it on him, over and over...couple that with the fact that he constantly seems to be surrounded by hott (again, much like Peaches), and we have a likely member of the HoS.

Honestly, tho, how does one get one's chest THAT fucking shiny? The linoleum in my bathroom after a Mr. Cleaning doesn't have that much sheen. I suspect some sort of evil combination of Nair, turtle wax, baby oil.

Ew. I just grossed myself out.
 

How huge is DarkSock's junk?

...he put straps on a wok so he could use it as a codpiece.

...sometimes it makes him giggle by brushing the ticklish spot behind his knees.

...it does double-duty as a prehensile tail.
 

The more I look at her, the more I likey. As a young maniacal Hispanic, there were certain hotts that made me want to do filthy, obscene, and sometimes vial things to. This hott happens to fall under the specific category of females that cause everlasting wood.

I would gargle with turtle boogers and verbally recite all the genealogies listed in the Pentateuch, only using short bursts of gerbil squeaks, while roller-skating over the Lang Wapper Bridge in Antwerp, dressed only in puréed moose anus and a flag that read: My Bald Headed Butler Burps Belgian Waffles; just for the honor of serving my subsequent incarceration in the same cell that once housed the captured German soldier, whose misfired Luger sent a bullet that grazed the helmet of her Grandfather’s Lieutenant’s favorite Private, as he stormed the beaches of Normandy in World War II.

And then I would console my balls of blue with a warm tube sock.
 

Kettlehead is trying to be Samurai Scrote, but can't pick up Sparkling Carolyn level hotness. therefore he compensates with a quantity over quality tactic. or tries to anyway.

has he succeeded? take some guitar lessons, KH.
 

@ vader

Start making it into the toilet and you'll be able to get the linoleum that shiny my friend.
 

Psht. Toilets. I gave up on those YEARS ago. I piss in the shower and shit over my neighbor's wall.
 

@chupacabra 4:20

From what I heard, it somewhat resembles a babies arm holding an apple

I also heard you can coax it into shaking hands with you.

Not sure if thats true
 

kettlehead of plunging neckline
you pose with hott who is devine
if you would simply stand alone
I'd take a brick & crush your dome!
 

First time I've seen the mark o the bag on the pecs.
 

Shave and polish,
try as he might;
Kettlehead can't make his own cleavite.
 

DarkSock's junk is so large he wears Plinky's mom' pants
 

DarkSock's junk is so large it wrestles bears
 

DarkSocks junk is so large it scares Scotsmen into creating fairy tales
 

DarkSock's junk is so large it has a zip code
 

DarkSock's junk is so large Chinamen run under it for new years parades
 

lol @ crucial

I would run down compton blvd screaming pendajos! at the top of my lungs just for the chance that she might be an EMT.

Him, I would poop on.
 

DarkSock's junk:
Breakfast of champions, HotPocket for Plinky's mom.
 

DarkSock's junk makes Xenu blush... & blush & blush & blush & blush & blush....


he's seen it alot!
 

when Plinky sees DarkSock's junk, he says, "DaDa"
 

kettlehead looks like dark socks junk and his button down is the magnum condom.

too tight and starting to split down the middle
 

Darksock's junk is so large that I've nicknamed it "Pumpy Jr."

Okay, people... we have to do our part. Clearly, Kettlehead is suffering in this depressed economy. The poor boy can't afford a shirt that fits. I say, let's step up! Today! No excuses! I'm taking up a collection to purchase Kettlehead a properly fitting button-down shirt he can wear to job interviews, hopefully gaining meaningful employment that will enable him to buy his own shirts in the future. You know, give a bag a shirt, he wears it for a day, teach him how to earn cash for a shirt, he can dress for a lifetime, blah blah blah. Please send donations to:

IdahoHott's Kettlehead XXL shirt
fund
123 Potato Drive
Idaho City, Idaho, 69069
 

Put a tattered LA Dodgers cap on his head and strap a leaf blower to his back and Kettlehead (or Cabesa de Hervidor as I like to refer to him) bears a striking resemblance to my gardener Pedro.
 

you have to admire this choad's consistency. he's like the roger federer of scrotewankery. a couple more half opened tight shirt eyebrow smirk boobie suckle nightclub photo ops and this guy is a shoe in for the HoS...
 

I study this picture and I get it. For me to taste the cinammon sweet labia of this raven-haired goddess, I must sport some man-cleav, some moob, or show off the patch. I get it now. Watch out you lusty Latinas, Orel just dropped two Viagras.
 

i just want to say that if this is an early attempt to make this guy the Porsche or Bra! of 2009 i strongly disapprove.

Army of Douche-ness
 

I'm beginning to think that maybe he plucks his eyebrows and draws them back on with the arch already in place.
 

What's this deal with darksock's junk?

I want that hott in the HOH. And by HOH I mean my bed. And by bed I mean my desktop background.
 

I'm tired of seeing this dude. He is clearly in the minor leagues compared to the greats such as Donk!, Slap!, etc.

Heck, even a 'B-list' Douchebag like Leon Brothabag puts this pretender to shame.

DB1, enough already!
 

Dark Sock's junk is so big it has it's own mustache and beard.
 

I'm still not okay with the word bunk.

DarkSocks junk is so big. How big is it!?! I dunno about...(makes about a 8 inch gesture with his hands) yay?
 

Darksock's junk
 

@idaho: nice! how did u find plinky's moms dildo?

Darksock's junk is so big it monsoons when he ejaculates.
 

@Idaho

I believe the word on the street is that although dark sock's junk is something to be held in wonder, he might have scoliosis of the penis. It kind of looks like a giant question mark.

Idaho? fact or fiction
 

EXTENZE was invented because of dark sock
 

Idaho Hott

heh heh... DarkSock's junk looks like a giant turban wearing taliban with bad skin


herpes?
 

People please! Stop wasting your collective talents on Darksock's junk (ba da bump) and instead waste them on the SS thread. Otherwise it is just me and Plinky in there, and that seems gay. Or bunk. But really gay.
 

Actually my unit is only one inch long. However, it is 37" in girth. But since studies (and by studies I mean HyperSexualGirl's blog) indicate girth trumps length I figure I'm good.

I lost my virginity to a greased pie pan.

I got my dong stuck in a subway toilet lid once; it looked like Dick Cheney in a life preserver.

I have to pee face down in a tub.

I actually felt the left and right sides of Plinky's Mom's vaginal walls at the same time.

My dick is so thick it is actually Obama's stimulus package.

Crucial's 4:20 riff was epic.
 

Dark Sock's junk is so big it plays weak-side linebacker for the Steelers.
 

@ Vader 7:53 pm

Word. Y'all keep your noses out of my junk. See you in the Samüråï Scrötę thread.
 

Are we really doing this again? Can't we show a little maturity. I'd like to maintain some semblance of decorum if only to preserve the dignity of this site once in a while. This coming from a guy named dildo.

No? You bastards!

Darksock's junk is so big it fits in to a tic tac box.

Socks junk is so big that nano-engineers have yet to discover it.

Darksock's junks Broglie wavelength is much smaller than that of a light photon.

Enough already lets get down to bidness. Admin really seems to have a hard-on for blouse boy. He's a real meh in my book but his ass is real quality. TPB is quite fetching and certainly deserved of a hall nod so I'll second that vote!
 

d. baggins v2.0's junk is so big it spans 3 time zones.
 

Kettlehead must have junk bigger than the 'Sock as he pulls some "quality ass" in all four of his appearances... but, I'm with Bag A, he's no Donk, or Slap, Gator... in fact he would be a thumb print for Pumpy

I'm over this one trick douche, I mostly hate him for his hotts... next
 

@ Douche Vader 7:53 PM,

Samurai Scrote built a temple for himself using only the foreskin left behind by DarkSock's circumcision.
 

OK - so I was able to hack back into Steve Zodiac. So, now the question is, should I

a: revert back to Steve Zodiac
b: stay Troy Tempest
c: write as both, and confuse people except insofar as I'm that weird little puppet dude.

Steve Zodiac is campier and has massive eyebrows. He's also a bit more "industrial avant garde", as only a black and white TV show hero could be. And of course, he has to sing his theme song.

Troy Tempest is modeled after a young James Garner, and is a bit more reflective and sensitive, but a lot less funny - intentionally so or otherwise. He also gets to sing his theme song.

They both have ultraHOTT lady friends. Steve's honey is the cool Hungarian blonde "Venus, doctor of Space Medicine". Troy's of course, is the mute, if utterly lovely red headed amphibian, Aquamarina.

So, I leave it to you all to decide:

should I write as Steve, Troy or both?

vote in this thread I suppose.

I leave this decision in your capable hands.

best

Troy Tempest lover of Aquamarina
Steve Zodiac lover of Dr. Venus
 

Steve speaks about himself in the 1st person. George is very frustrated by this!

They're both gay dude just pick one. Unless you want to spew forth twice the amount of inane dribble a la duck cock then go for it.

Did I mention you are a gay, eskimo piggy?
 

Do both.
I miss the old Steve.

++Don't make your pw: 1234 again, silly. :P

--
Otherwise: what was that Potusa song about Peaches?
 

I only know you as troy. Therefore, i vote troy.
 

Oh and fat too, I almost forgot fat you damn dirty douchebag.
 

for puppets they are both quite cerebral, & I guess I've found Troy a lil' less creepy & funnier. I'm all good with talking marionettes as long as they kick the shit outta Pinocchio

Troy looks more like a SS storm trooper so I guess he gets my vote
 

@Troy:

I prefer Cheezeporn myself, but that's because I... well, I prefer cheesy porn.
 

honestly I think kettlehead needs a spot in 2009's Golden Globes category.
 

if Troy Tempest is more sensitive, i would say that fits the Professor bill better. academics usually are sensitive people, as nasty ivory tower politicking and scathing attacks across peer-reviewed journals or other reputable venues of discourse will tell you.

other than that, i have no opinion, as i know jack about the marionettes of the times of old.
 

eh, not to imply that Troy is that kind of prof, of course. sorry.
 

You'll always be Steve Z.
 

Just go with Troy Zodiac and confuse everyone and satisfy those in the know.
 

Like the Lone Ranger, Kettlehead feels the need to wear his dark mask shades. So let's unmask him!

That's no Tonto by his side, but the Most Highly Rated Hott, a peach pie deluxe straight out of the oven. Smokin' delish.

Covered with freshly whipped cream and consumed.

That is all. YUM.

And slap those silly moobs.
 

Zodiak v. Tempest? I vote both.

Zodiak has a comic S & M take on the human condition and responds more to other bloggers.

Tempest is a little more clearheaded and usually right on point and deliciously verbose.


I'm a fan.
 

Steve Zodiak, Troy Tempest, Mrs. Doubtfire, I'm fine either way.

Kettlehead's really starting to bug me. I bet Peachy's vaginal fluids taste like lemonade. Cool, refreshing lemonade.
 

Steve/Troy:

All I know is you best pick just one and stick with it. We can't have motherfuckers running around in here posting under multiple aliases.
 

Right on, DarkSock. You rock, man.
 

Word.
 

Yeah, what DarkSock said. He is the shit.
 

i like turtles
 

Vin Douchal has the right idea actually. Steve Zodiac can be the crass DarkSock to Troy Tempest's erudite Baron Von Goolo.

I vote both.
 

And by "vote" I mean "shave my balls with a spork".
 

This guy must buy all of his shirts three sizes too small and then pull off all the top buttons.

Suddenly I have that lame song about wearing sunglasses at night going through my head. Quick, to youtube for a little Jeff Lynne!
 

A "club promoter"? I had to consult Yahoo! Answers in order to find out just what the fuck that means. Would it be trite to say that this wax figure of a shit-stained tapeworm would scrape a living delivering pizzas anywhere else in the world, if that?

Fuck.

I wanna put out my smokes on his shiny chest until it says die!, then make him eat that hat through his cock. Tickle my balls with those pubes, Kettlefuck.
 

I vote Troy because Aquamarina is hotter.
 

Copy that, Mr. White. Do ya recken her thang is wood too?
 

If so I'm changing my avatar to Woody WoodPecker.
 

If you get caught fucking a wooden figure is it considered statutory rape?
 

his urine smells like aqua vulva
 

@ DarkSock 6:34

No, mainly people just think you are weird and you lose all of your friends.
 

@ Sock

No, I believe one can only be charged with statutory rape if caught in the act of defiling a marble edifice. Ba dump dump

Best rimjob er rim shot I'll get all day.
 

@darksock

No claim of statutory rape can be made until the rings are counted.
 

Design elements everywhere have grown tired of the abuse and sheer laziness of their implementers who recklessly layer, clone and coerce their kin into a variety of uninspired products, from designer t-shirts, to posters, to destinations on the information superhighway. They waited patiently for the tide of trend to wash out to sea this tired aesthetic and for their creators to exercise restraint....TO NO AVAIL!! Thus it came, that fateful night at Los Cantinas when a lone paisley crept to the edge of the collar and moments after this photo was taken, leaped from the fabric of oppression to sink it's razor fangs into the neck of it's owner, who was no less at fault in the paisley's eyes as the the original designer who thought "yes we'll put you here all alone.. and hella big, that will look hot!" As the douchal oppressor writhed in pain on the floor of Los Cantinos, the bite was heard round the world. Pop vector art began to take up arms with a variety of old style serif fonts and flourishes, more would come. The bloody revolution had begun.
 

Troy, honey, stay with me baby. That old Venus. She's just eurotrash. Her and her snooty "I'm a doctor" bullshit. If she was from my part of the world, she'd be some bottom feeder blowfish bitch. And that platinum blonde thing on her head? You told me her pussy was dark brown. What a 2 tone! How fake! The most I do is a little henna just to keep the shade even, you know that baby.

Stay with me baby. Otherwise darksock'll be all over me and while he's like funny and stuff I don't think he really gets me like U do.

Besides, if you go back to being Steve Zodiac, the next time I see you I'll rip your little 'nads off you asshole.
 

that is one hot looking Conchita. is she a legal alien? I say we keep her, and toss him back to Mexico.
 

So, who's the fucking comedian signing in as Aqua? It's either my wife, one of my friends who knows I write to this site, or one of you jokers.

If it's my wife, Hi sweetie!

If it's one of my friends (KS, MH, EI, or You Know Who You Are): Ha. Very fucking funny.

If it's one of the denizens of this smelly den of depravity: OK, fine - maybe I'll just turn into Captain Scarlet, and fuck the lot of ya...
 

"and fuck the lot of ya"

but in a nice way, of course....

:-)
 

@Steve/Troy

I was gonna say both (just don't go overboard like SOME douchebags on this site, you know who you are Darksock), but I have to say I prefer Steve, if only because Creature is a little creeped out by him.
 

i think that only SteveTroy is in a position to figure this out. i mean, if Ms. Aqua is (potentially) involved, then - holy shit!

but once the mystery is solved, the public should be informed on all the juicy details. for great enlightenment of course.
 

the Mysterons are the best of the lot

tho Capt. Black is dark...
 

she super hot
 

I dunno Steve/Troy -

Yaknow - the Thunderbirds Lady Penelope is quite a dish.

Jeff Tracy - being a father w/five sons - smacks of being a mack daddy.

He - older/wiser -
Her - young HOTT with a load of $$$ -

hmmmm...
possibilities are infinite...

have fun deciding...