UBC used to be a sacred revered institution down south from Savannah to New Orleans where if you had to leave a party early you would have to take a UBC that was more commonly known as a "Traveler". This was a grand practice and if you didn't take your traveler or to go cup it was considered rude.

However, like all things douchebags across the planet have taken this age old tradition and perverted and abused such a respected little cup.

Kind of like what Paco is doing to Barbie Hangers Hott here.
 

I think he is checking to see if he is slammin against a pair of balls
 

a home made papsmear, or just looking for his buddies watch, who knows
 

personally I roll with a less common blue solo cup whenever possible
 

He looks like he is truly not enjoying this manuever. He's trying to figure out how to do his patented reach-around on a female ...
 

Personally, I love styros. I take my morning coffee in a styro cup then use it later to shpurtle Kodiak spittlings into it in the car.



If this photo didn't turn your stomach , ^ that comment surely did.
 

@Mr. Belvedouche, 10:30 a.m. -

I'm not sure either of them are doing that.
 

Kal’s many hours spent practicing his rear entry techniques on Dugongs didn’t prepare him for Kelly’s "pincers of peril".
 

the denizens of HCwDB ask questions such as "why do douchebags get hot chicks?" the same way that particle physicists ask "why does matter have mass?"

to some, asking why matter have mass may be an incredibly stupid and unproductive question. and to some, asking why douchebags get hot chicks just invites "y'all r just h8rz who can't get n e ass" types of responses.

but believe you me, they built a fucking 27km particle collider to find out why matter has mass. and by golly, HCwDB should get the same degree of multinational funding to explore the great mysteries of the hott and the douche.

could it be that the Ubiquitous Red Cup is the carrier of the Grieco virus that we've missed out on all along? could it be that the URC is the God Particle that we need to explain all the mysteries of HCwDB as we know it?

and could it be that, since no one has come forward as a particle physics dork, this post will be incredibly out of place?

...

... man, i'm gonna fry out my brain with alcohol and then smash the bottle against this photo.
 

Kal's hand disappears into Kelly's gaping wormhole in search of his prized blue mandana that came off during their eight hour fisting marathon.
 

@Steve L. -

I think we need to call in the expert on this matter.....





Ummmmm, Flyteeth? A little help, please.
 

*EDIT: My first post should have said URC not UBC....stupid hangover...need more coffee....
 

We need more of her.

And less of him.
 

There is so much orange in that photo that the two bits of red are quite refreshing. The URC, of course, and more importantly, her short-shorts. Neither of which he should touch.
 

" oh yea I see it now... wow....you have a condom stuck in there...."
 

He's trying to figure out how to untie her "Gordian Balloon Knot"
 

on long drives, sometimes I pee in a URC
 

He's:
A) Checking for lice while she gooses him

B) Giving her a lower back massage
while she gooses him

C) Examining his dick while she gooses him

D) Prepares to pee in her butt instead of in the red cup, while she gooses him
 

damn she's hot... any more pics?
 

What's Socrates speaking of there in the back?
 

oooops...slipping in the grammar department...

D) "Preparing to pee" etc etc etc

Gotta be consistent here with the gerund phrase...
 

At some point in American history, depots with Red Caps have been superseded by cheap ho's with red cups.

And in this picture, blonde ho's falling out of bra-cups....

...While the ubiquitous bare-chested yo-yo's try pick-ups.

Excuse me, I gots the hiccups and gots to go-go.
 

What a sham this site it. This photo is obviously stolen straight from the wiki on How to Make a Turducken. Remove this photo or I'll call my lawyer.
 

@STEVE ANDS WHEEZ#ER

YOU AKS GOOF FUCEN QUESTIONS! DOE STHE HIGGS BOSON EXIST? CAN GENERAL RELATIVLEY AND QUANTUM MECHANICS BE UNIFIED IN SOME FAGATOHY UNIFIED THEORY? QRE THERE MAGNETIC MONOPOLES?

AND HNOW DO THESE TRERLATE TO THE FUCEN RED CUP?? CAN A RED CUP SURVIE BEYOND THE FEFENT HORIZON OF A BLACK FUE HOlE?? I DON"T KNOW IF THAT FUCKEN NEW ACCELOERATOR HAS THE TARMAL TO ANSWER THESE FUCEN QUEIRES!
 

I think the UBC is a kind of portal between the screwhead universe and the benighted hellhole of our own reality.

In the Screwhead universe, it's pretty much Idiocracy, all the time. The thing is, it's only a planck unit's distance out of phase with our own. The red cup shows up when the two meet, creating a kind of conduit between the two universes, infecting our youth with the Greico Virus, which is actually a higher dimensional prion.
 

The URC is...

1) red, to provide better contrast against a background.

2) slightly larger than hand-sized, so as to not be confused with either shot cup or pitcher.

3) cheap, like the booze one usually finds in such things.
 

It could also be that Kevin Clarke just got sick of hauling that couch around.

(***cricket, cricket, cricket***)
 

URC is a dangerous, chemical laden PLASTIC, probably responsible for birth defects.

Switch to glass, stainless, porcelain or lead-free pewter.
 

While Kal stood lecturing to friends in the kitchen, his buddy, chiropractor Kurt was slipping a quick "adjustment" to Kal's gal Kit, necessitated by last night's cattin' around in the keeping room at Kal's parent's home near Calabasas, California, while Kal's parents were away cavorting in Cadiz.
 

URC is in fact a symbiotic life form from which the Douches get his power to attract the hot
 

@ Wheeze & Flyteeth

i would just like to issue a disclaimer to the effect that i do not claim to be a particle physics nerd (that would imply that i'm a lot more intelligent than i actually am). i just know something about it. although HCwDB is home to math textbook editors, architects, art & art history teachers, music instrument & equipment experts (do you actually teach music, Troy?), there are no particle physics people, so i was just worried that the attempted humor in my previous post wouldn't fly. but then i couldn't help it. thank you Flyteeth for being supportive!

by the way so do you have any background working in particle physics, Flyteeth? or does THE Flyteeth just know everything?
 

This thread is undeniable proof that this website will make you smarter.
 

Look at that douchebag's face. It's like he's thinking: "Whoa... two holes!?!"
 

BvG,

Esoteric, but funny.

I'm happy to understand maybe a third of the cultural references thrown down here.

Thankfully, old guys like you and Troy trot out the 60s, 70s, and 80s imagery that makes me feel relevant, albeit relatively. Thank you.

Keep up the good work.

If I had the time to do what they did with that couch, I'd do it with inversion boots or an egg chair instead.

Would you use a tasteful coffin? Pine box? Shetland pony?
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Is he wearing koolots? Did his mother shop in junior miss?
 

Steve- please delete your post. Twas a mistake...
 

Is he looking for his keys?
 

done and done. hope the last 3~4 hours haven't been too damaging.
 

Daddy,

Freshman year is really great so far! I've made a lot of nice friends, and I've been MUCH more popular here than I ever was in High School. It's such a blast! I'm enclosing a picture of me and Dan from a party we went to last week. I don't really know him that well, and I don't remember much after this was taken, but he promised that he took care of me and walked me back to my dorm after the party to make sure I was safe. I believe him too, just like I believed you when you promised me a pony when I was 12.

Love,

Trish.
 

all is well. thanks.
 

This picture is so disturbing, yet hilarious in so many ways...

Her parents must be so proud!

What's also interesting is the people in the background are rather nonplussed about the foolishness going on in the foreground. "Oh, look, Kal's boning Kelly again in the living room...so, Jake, you were telling us about your bitchin weekend in Vegas?"
 

“Weird…” thought Elijah as he started up his ride-along carpet-muncher, “I don’t remember her cylinder providing this much resistance to my key.”
 

Reluctantly, Agnes informed Sergio that the monstrous crab he was searching for, was wandering aimlessly towards the URC on the green couch behind them.
 

Though he was relegated to the backdrop of the picture, Thurston directed everyones attention to the flexing ceiling joists overhead, which were nearing the failure capacity under Plinky's mom's uninhibited twat percipitation.
 

gotta love the Aliens reference in that mail...
 

Her parents must be so proud.
 

To quote Hitchcock: " When you down on a McGuffin you sho be changin' yo ways..."
 

I would get next in line to pee in her butt
 

Truly a sad picture for woman's rights. Just when they were makin' so much progress too! Subservience to a douchebag ain't the way to further The Cause, kid!
 

Smack it up flip it down oh no I think I gotta drop a douce...Ker plunk fuck you biatch
 

Don't overthink it, brah. It's to, like, hold your beverage.

--VS
 

The Macguffin is something hidden in plain sight that everyone is searching for. The Macguffin drives the plot. The URC rarely functions in this way.

The URC is probably better understood as Askesis. Askesis, well known in literary douchebag circles, is a movement of self-purgation, ". . . he yields up part of his own human and imaginative endowment, so as to separate himself from others . . ." See Harold Bloom and the Anxiety of Influence.

The notion of URC as "leitmotiv" might inveigle some. While douchely understood in musical terms (see Richard Wagner, with particular emphasis upon the Ring Cycle), visual leitmotivs are not unknown.

However, neither askesis nor leitmotiv appear to attract beautiful blondes in bikinis.

Perhaps, URCs are just chick magnets. Some interesting and compelling experimental social psychology studies have verified that men are more strongly attracted to women on a red background. Women intuitively know this, so hang around red things to appear even more attractive.
 

guy in back: "and if I turn around and Jack's trying to awkwardly mount a fully-clothed Jan again, I'm gonna break his arms"