Leave it to this Vanilla Ice Redux Douche to mess up a perfectly good Hott Rhumba Line!
 

It's your typical girls night out.


All seven of them love cock. The two on the right re-enact that pose with a 14" strap-on later that night.
 

Wow.

Why are they all wearing tents?

His head is mighty big for his body, good thing Rainbow Sherbet is there to support.

And the orange....gads, the orange....


I need more coffee.
 

I call nottadouche pass on this guy. He's clearly gay, which means that the orange, corn-fed hotts won't have to fend off his oily advances after too many cosmopolitans.
 

Hey Db1,

Do next year's Douchies start at the conclusion of this year's or when the calendar turns?

I have an assload of photos that are sure to make it through but I'll sandbag them bitches 'til '09 to be in the running for a submission attaboy.









And by submission attaboy I mean a sparkly dressed heart stopping babe writhing around to one of my guitar solos while I hump my Marshall stack in a firm enough manner to make the "Flange" have a "Delayed" toe curling "Chorus".
 

I'd Ebbetts her field until she told tales from the underground on KQRS-FM, Minneapolis, MN, December 16, 1975.
 

I like how the hott in back has her denim mini-skirt flipped up a bit in the back, to show more thigh. No wonder she wanted to be on the back of the train.

I miss Crucial Head. Anyone know when he gets back?
 

It's that awful hair that makes that guy eligible for the site. Were he properly coiffed he'd just be a skinny guy macking the hotties who would end up with nada at the end of the night.
 

This FAGOATH only wants to be one of the girls.
 

I hate pool cover-ups, they do nothing for you. And you're going to be parading around in next to nothing anyways so why wear one.

For the love of god someone needs to FEED him. He can come over my grandma's house for dinner, she'll pack at least 20lbs on him with her Parmesan Chicken.

What do you call a gay boi that hangs around all women? I know girls that hang around gay bois are fag hags...pussy fags? I dunno, I got nothin'.
 

The "Bulimic Beefcake" claims he could kick this punk's ass and steal away his hotts.

True story.
 

Gay, straight, or other, a douche is still a douche.

These girls look like they are at the Tara Reid family reunion.
 

There's something happening here that I don't quite understand. I'm not sure I want to, either.
 

@Mike, 10:39 a.m. -

For what it's worth, what it is ain't exactly clear to me, either.

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
 

holy shit is this a neo-Aryan appreciation club's summer getaway in Australia / New Zealand? ALL BLONDES?

that being said, from let to right:

no, no, no (because they don't look legal at all)
yes, yes, PAINTBALL IN THE FACE, and yes.
 

L to R:

Mrs. Bubblegum high-maintenance you're never going to get laid unless you go to Jared's, or wear a spiffy wristdanna and UDT's,

Mrs. Tease who is most definitely not into men at all, but loves to toy with their emotions...

Mrs. Tiny alcoholic who is currently engaged to the Ubiquitous Clear Cup, and would pass out after making you hold her hair while she puked up undigested spirits. After which she'd pass out and I'd poke her a little saying "Are you awake?"

Mrs. Polka Slight-Sideboob winner of the 'All American Do those legs go all the way up?' contest in Des Moines, Iowa for five years straight. She is a dirty, filthy ginch, that I would serenade with a kazoo while stomping on a rabid bullfrog 'cause I'm a musician like that.

Mrs. Rainbow Not-So-Brite who clearly I would have much copulation with on a public bathroom floor shoeless while wearing a potato sack. Which is why she's obviously expecting, and why I can't wait to eat my Lucky Charms with delicious natural breast milk freshly suckled from her teet with a used breast pump bout off ebay for $5.

Mr. Ethiopidouche displays his favorite self fisting hand gesture, which he claims gives him maximum bladder and intestine tickling at the same time. And is so skinny he inspires crack whores and super models to diet.

And last but not least,

Mrs. Denim Delight, whose collection of NBA players' cock rings she displays on her wrist like a trophy bleeth should. But, upon further examination we see that her Adam's Apple is quite prominent and that she is actually lifting her skirt up with her right hand and giving Mr. Ethiopidouche the Wang Chung causing his hair to permanently to perform a triple lutz on a Mexican ice rink, that right after the photo she put some 'hot sauce' all over it.
 

I FUCEN JOVE TOM WIATS! TAMRAL TIME!

WELL THE SMARRT MOENYS ON HAROW AND THE FUE IINS IN THE STREET!
AND THE SHOWADOWN FAGAOTHS ARE BREAKING ALL THE LZWS!
AND OYJR"E FUCEN EAST OF EADST ST> LOUIS@, AN DHTE IND IS MAKING TARMALS!
AND THE RAIN SOUDNSL LIKE A ROUDN OSF COCKSLPAS!
AND FYTHEETH IS WEEPING IN A CARNIVAL SALOON!
HIS INVISIBLE WHOARS IN THE MIRROR
AND THE BAND IS FUFCKEN GOING HOME, ITS RAINGING TAMRLS, ITS RANING FUE!@23#@!
ANMD IT S TURE THERES NOTHIGN LEFT FOR HIM DOWNTHERE!

AND IT STIEM< TIME, TIME, AND IT STIME< TIME TIME
AND ITS TIME, TIME< TIME, TIME THAT YOUT AMRAL
AND ITS TIME< FUCWEN TAMRAL TIME!
 

Flyteeth, you are the poet of our generation.
 

You know, you don't HAVE to be a slave to the holidays. You can just carry on about your business and do what you do best - douchebag bashing. Leave Santa out of it. Unless he's a douchebag, of course.
 

it's the Brady bunch, & Waldo is actually Bobby 2nd from the right gettin' the Florence Henderson strap on disciplinary treatment from sexually ambiguous cougar on the end

@ Ash

I don't know the tech term... I just call him a cock pocket!
 

Is this an ad for a feeldoe?

6 out of 7 women love the feeldoe; so does this one bi-dude.

LOL

DJ
 

@ DJ

feeldoe... heh heh!
 

I can't tell if he's a douche or just really, really gay.

Either way, the 6 other girls in the picture are wicked hot.
 

"Mrs. Tiny alcoholic..."

Heh, I totally get that vibe from her too (assuming one can get a vibe from a picture).
 

When I look at this picture, I smell Loreal Les Blondisommes bleach, Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil, and yeast infection.

And that boy is gayer than Truman Capote at a Velvet Hankey Society gala. I don't know, fellow 'bag hunters & huntresses - do gay boys get a nottadouche pass? I'm inclined to say yes, because as other posters mentioned, the hotts are in no dange of needing to fend off his advances...
 

This guy is gay or so far I'm the closet he is finding Christmas presents
 

ye gods man! the humanity...

these junior league suburban housefraus still have that vague, vacant look which indicates straight sex is still 'kinda icky and weird' to them. odds are they haven't even figured out proper genital grooming yet, let alone butt paddling.........

........all except for the gaybag, of course....


BTW, i likes me some tom waits but for serious black Santa belt butt paddlings, i prefer the melodious sounds of Throbbing Gristle....
 

I see they are all palming each other.
 

I's hazard the guess that this is a MILF and her six children on vacation.....

in Florida at the beach resorts...

Wearing tent dresses AKA "feel-up"
clothing....

Singing, "We're tenting tonight on the old campground, many are the hearts that weep."

As do we, glancing on douched-up skinny butts.
 

Tom Waits, huh? I'll definitely have to put on "Swordfishtrombones" for my next thigh-cheek paddling. Chicks don't dig the Radiohead as much.
 

I think that's the lead singer from "The Matches", one of the few bands still trying to make it big in banana-republic-punk
 

He looks like Fire Marshal Bill's long-lost son
 

Schindler's Pissed
 

The Palms Hotel in Vegas?
 

I always wondered how Vince from the Sham-Wow commercials spent his free time. I almost didn't recognize him without the microphone.
 

and yet he still has the smallest dick in the photo
 

and yet he still has the smallest dick in the photo
 

Sorry not a douche. I'd hit it. Furthermore the level of tanning product and peroxide in that pic should require a government warning. Maybe superfund level.

WTF is that chic wearing in front of him? My deflated, old beach ball?
 

@ ash 10:21

I have heard them referred to as "fruit flies".
 

@ ash 10:21

"Dude dater baiters"
 

Waldouche doesn't even look human. Looks like that dude in Men in Black II with the little head on the side that looked just like him.
 

Gay cheerleader with his girls
 

Is that the sham wow carny with no shirt on? Howd he sneek into the palms?
 

Girls just wanna have fun. Even skinny flat topless girls with low rise boy shorts and melissa etheridgesque spikeydikey doo's
 

I think this guy is a friend of mine...Yeah, I definitely know him!!