Hey....I think this is a picture of me from my douche days. Oh...wait... I might have been fat and had a mohawk....but I didn't shave my fuckin belly. stupid fat fuck.
 

Me likes me some Annabelle.
 

I will save her! Please give me her address or current location so I may take one for the betterment of society and rescue her! Alas, I have chosen this path, so please do not fret at my sacrificial act of unselfishness...I am just so giving that way.
 

This picture shows the members of the band Los Lobos just before eating a small college coed.
 

Get in mah belly!
 

St Louis Cardinals fauxhawk? Check!
Number 2 douche hand gesture? Check!
Ray Charles sunglasses? Check!
Two lame sidekicks? Check!
Nervous coed being told from off camera, "You know they can smell fear!" Check!

Annabelle goes slumming, the newest Farrelly Brothers masterpiece? PRICELESS!
 

hey, hey, hey...it's fat alberto and douchebag kids
 

Bikini baby, Jersey lady, groupie for the band
Pretty eyed, perky racked, you'll marry a douchey man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in Hollyrock
And now she's on me, always with me, tiny dancer on my cock

Hold me closer tiny Anna
Count the stretch marks on the fat choad
Lay me down on sheets of linen
you'll have a busy day with my load.

(With apologies to Elton John and good taste, two things that rarely overlap anyway.)
 

@scumbag

Nice ref. Although if he can rock a radiator, he gets a notadouche pass in my book.
 

Ever since I was a small child, I have know these three truths:

1. "Peter O'Tool" would be an awesome porn guy name;

2. Dude on the right is not interested in shorties, as evinced by his cosmopolitain;

3. Fat dude can't get the razor down past the belly button of his pendulous gut sack, hence we can deduce from this fact that he has to pee free-style or sitting down, he can gratify himself only with lawn sprinklers or rakes since he can't reach his junk, and don't EVEN ask about wiping.

I would chew every discarded yellow-and-crimson bandage that came out of the Bronx herion clinic for two weeks while speed-frigging my urethra with a dry stick for the privilege of smelling the toilet lid of the overweight spinster that took Annabelle's credit card information and order number for that white bikini.
 

Hello. You like her? Dees eeez my leeedle seeester, Anna belle. She has bin a vergin FOUR times!!! We set you up cheeeep.
 

@ Mr. White

it appears he might have rocked the radiator while it was still on, hence the mysterious marks on his gut - or perhaps he is just morbidly obese with disgusting stretch marks
 

@ darksock....
jesus. i think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

@mr white...
think if we gave elton john 12 dollars and a young twink he'd record that for us?
 

He's not throwing a Shocker...he's placing his order for Super Size Big Mac Value Meals....."make it tree, Foo"....
 

@douchelexic

I suspect we could get Elton for cheaper than that, especially if we tell him the new version will be for some new animated crapfest of a movie about a lemur named Ana learning about love and trust from a cobra or some such tripe.
 

Fat boy on the left looks like a fugitive from an episode of "The Sopranos"...
 

If the undigested corn in my shit could pose for a photo, it would look exactly this.
 

Fat Joe as "Droopy 2.0"

Fuck Fung.
 

meat: the final frontier
 

@vanillacokehead

Big Pussy is Tony's better-known soldier, but we must not forget the unsung hero that was Whale Pussy, shown at left.
 

Previously unnoticed is the fact that her shoulder is firmly emedded in his stanky armpit.

A giant popping arm fart was heard when they disengaged causing people to duck fearing a drive by.
 

i would pee in her butt

fat boy is peeing in his own butt
 

There once was a choadhawk gigantic
Caused onlookers a mal fit epileptic
Stuck his pit on a Hott
And the shocker we got
Isn't he a dapper romantic?
 

It's no fun, bein' an illegal alie-unnn
 

Maybe is just the Klonopin and Lithium talking here, but: Fat Boy's torso looks like a giant alien head pronouncing the word "Poooo...".*

The Magic Scapula Pistol O' Death just broke through Blue Trunk's shoulder flesh and popped a .32 caliber cap into Screwdriver Choad's left temple.*



*See, this is the crap I'd pass on to my Elastic Snap Hole of The Love Bear persona...why o why did I listen to the codeine cough syrup genie and out myself?
 

Hey fat choad, Droopy Mc Scrote called, he wants his stretchmarks back...
 

"Hold me closer Tony Danzaaaa!"

I never did understand Elton.

Nor do I understand this picture. But what I do know...God did not intend for that man to wear board shorts.
 

hobo humpin' slobo babe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTqCwlQODxo
 

Early 2009 contender for Hottie Next Door. The girl in the white bikini, that is. Not the Ray-band douchies.
 

Darksock literally made me gag. Not cool man.

Now, I've always been a beer man myself so I'm probably a little biased. But those drinks look so incredibly fruity. Especially when one is throwing up gang signs. With a bird chest. I hate background douches more than I hate Fat-hawk and his hottie gravitational pull.
 

Samurai Scrote's 3rd cousin by way of sepuku:

Beached Beluga Whale Bag
 

tighty whitey Annabelle Lee is the kinda box I'd like to put my tinder in!
 

Here you have the up-and-coming teenage band sensation the Stinky Putas and their fearless leader/lead singer Tampon Head.

While they haven't caught on in America, yet, they are cultural icons of such epic proportions - a la The Beatles before them - in their home country of Howard Johnson's, Cancun, Mexico that Mexican police must escort the super group to their gigs armed with water pistols and deportation-to-American-prison threats to hold the rabid fans at bay.

You may wonder how such an ecclectic group of personalities ever came together in the first place, but your curiosity will soon be erased when Tampon Head pulls an acoustic guitar -and a dozen tacos - out of his ass and starts crooning "Mi Amor es un Dirty Whore to tens of screaming and shrieking pre-pubescent teenage girls while dancer/choreographer Annabelle does fire tricks with her nipples.

And while most sets get a little soggy during the middle of the show, this one is highlighted by the male group members' purely fun and highly entertaining exhibition of trying to "pop" a pinata with their penises.











































Or this is just another group of goofy kids hanging out at the beaches of Galveston, TX.
 

Anytime I've tried cough syrup, "hopped up" is pretty much the exact opposite way to describe how I feel. I must be doing it wrong. Teach me, oh wise lemur.
 

I know I’ve seen this before. Can’t remember where?
 

Is that a goiter on top of his blubber which is stretching his gut like that?!?



I'm waiting for this fat tub of shit to drop to his belly and start yelping and flopping around like an undersexed walrus in heat.
 

@ Plinky

No, this'd be Corpus or Port Aransas, not Galveston. Most of the people going to the beaches in Galveston are... um... big fans of the Cadillac Escalade, dental grills, and pants that hang down around their bungholes.

Besides, there isn't a lot of "beach" left in Galveston after Ike.
 

@BillDouchiest

I really need to make a trip to Texas. Seriously. If not for Austin alone, then for all the other extra-cirricular stuff.


Were are you at, again? Hoooston?
 

@ Ronald 10:52

I just snarfed coffee. Agh, the acidic burn of Sumatra in the back of my sinuses. I am certainly awake now.

Jorge got sick of the jocks at Cropus Christi High picking on him. This would be the summer of his revenge! He dropped fifty pounds, got a mohawk, and snapped a pic with Lety, the hottest cheerleader on the pep squad, when their paths crossed at a party. Sadly, his friends from the chess club got into the frame and ruined everything.
 

@ Plinky

Houston, home of the Whopper... spelled r-e-d f-a-u-x-h-a-w-k.
 

I normally love chunky guys (shut up, they are usually the fun ones), but I don't understand his gut. I can't stop staring at it.

Maybe it's to deflect from his stupid hair.
 

Jorge is obviously a Droopy disciple, stage 1

Next up: Stage 2; stomach tatts.
 

DarkSock @ 10.03:Maybe is just the Klonopin and Lithium talking here, but: Fat Boy's torso looks like a giant alien head pronouncing the word "Poooo...".*

It does! Again, this begs the question - is the douche virus hallucinogenic? Can it be transmitted through pics in the internet? aaagh!
 

@ Lulu

He ate a Prius. Note the outline.
 

Are man stretch marks the newest bag tag?
 

@DarkSock 9:17

At least he's not tryin to be as cool as the kid in back rockin his hard lemonade with a straw
 

Ahhh... Houston ain't that bad, BillDouchiest.

Come to think of it... It ain't that good, either.
 

It's the lead singer of Los Lobos.

She's quite nice though.
 

It's like the scene from Jabba's palace, where's Bib Fortuna?
 

I'd be watching my P's and Q's. This is none other than Jay from Brand One.

He is one of Vegas' finest promoters. Holla!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=4784333

He is truly running the scene, and representin to teh fullest since '03 btiches

http://vegas.napkinnights.com/pics/view_image.php?id=37294

Hater's show the big man some love already!!!
 

@ Rehab kid: your absolutely right, we should be watching our P's and Q's, Piss off Queef-sniffer.
 

@ Rehab kid: So, I'm learning english... all sentences containing the words "vegas promoter" will always have a "BOOYA!" or "holla!" after, right?
 

@ Rehab Kid-

I feel that it will be relevant here to re-visit my posting of yesterday, 12/22 re: Head Injury Hal.
It's in English, you'll likely need someone to translate for you:

"There is a saying that is prevalent among the natives indigenous to the region where I reside that I believe would be an appropriate salutation to you in this instance. I may not have mastered the subtitles of the dialect quite yet as it takes years of careful study and practice to master it's idiosyncrasies, still I believe I can correctly convey the essence of the message when I say:

Shut the fuck up you moron, no one gives a rats ass.


Thank you and have a lovely Hanukkah."
 

She could fit in his belly in the fetal position
 

About RehabKid

I declare more Shennanigans. What say ye, BvG?
 

You all are some bitches drinkin on taht Haterade. Take another sip while your at your mammys' basement or your stepdaddys' trailer. You btiches are mastabatin hatin ass bitches.
 

@ rehabkid
shennanigans or no, if by "truly running the scene" you mean "Destorying the buffet", then I am in total agreement.
 

Stretch marks + no shirt = fucktard douchescrote a la Droopy McScrote.
 

@ rehabkid

"You btiches are mastabatin hatin ass bitches."

Um...yeah.
 

@ Rehab Kid:

You are just another poser-ass Vegas choad that hangs out in the shallow end of the Hard Rock pool, skimming for used condoms to use as a hat. Go take your brainless, ball-less ass and jump off the roof of the Mandalay Bay and see how well that wing on top of your head that you call a mowhawk works. You and guys like this should all be mocked, made fun of, pissed on and kicked in the face for being such a huge bunch of moronic posers.
 

It's unfortunate that you mock on those who are battling their weight especially in light of our country's financial state and obesity epidemic:

NY Times article

In some cultures, the rate of obesity is positively correlated with family income. If this trend holds true, Stegosaurus bag is rather well-off.

Also, obesity is regional. If one chooses not to belly up at the table, then he/she is shunned from the kinship group. So if stegosaurus bag is in fact in Las Vegas, then this may be an indicator that he has a high need for affiliation and/or the stimulant culture is running thin.

All in all, this lack of acceptance is harrowing especially when it comes from the educated regulars on this site. Mock the promoter yes, mock the obese--no.

Obese promoter...tough call.

Apparently this gentleman's other traits predominate. Oh, I see. Hand gesture, pink mohawk.

I stand corrected. Mock freely good people.
 

What ReHab kid meant to say was,"woooooooooooooooooooooo..!"
 

This has weekly written all over it. Proof that fat tubs of shit are just as capable of being complete scroteblisters as 'roided out meathead fucktards. Droopy is clearly not an anomoly.

I would place Tiny Annabelle on dozens of pillows stuffed with miniature marshmallows and gently play the White Album on a ukulele until she fell asleep. Then I'd hump her earlobe.

-Douche Leto Atreides
 

did rehbkid say this guy was one of Vegas's "fattest" promoters?

yep, I'm buyin' it
 

The stretch marks make the bag.
 

Hey "Rehab"

Are you the same loser who claimed that Head Injury Hal was some kind of überstud in Vegas, too?

Should I be led to believe that people such as these should matter? In the grand scheme of things, getting into a club full of choads, tattooed losers, slimy douchebags, and your Dad just isn't very important to me. It ranks up there with the last dump I took (ahhhh, Sausage McMuffin at breakfast, still good for stinking up a men's room).

This is pathetic. Why am I responding to some chronic masturbator who's life goal is to sniff some kid's bicycle seat?
 

the 3 skinny people in this pic could play cards inside Guiellermo's gut
 

"You all are some bitches drinkin on taht Haterade. Take another sip while your at your mammys' basement or your stepdaddys' trailer. You btiches are mastabatin hatin ass bitches"

Hang on a sec.....bwahahahahahahahahahahaha....and once more with feeling....bwahahahahahahahahahahahapukesnortchortle...

...ok...cough...

taht- What the fuck is "taht"? Nobody uses the word "haterade" anymore, unless you are a white nigga wannabe with your pants around your ankles. Ha, that always amuses me, that's so gangsta, having your pants sag, what if you have to run from the police? You can't your fucking pants are around your ankles!

True story: Several young black males entered our shop, one of them had his pants sagging to his knees, I told him, "Hey man, you realize you're in a room full of men and your pants are down." He immediately realized his social faux pas and hiked them up, thankfully.

But I digress...
"You btiches are mastabatin hatin ass bitches"

Flyteeth, is that you?

And self improvement is masturbation, I got no shame, as a matter of fact that statement kind of made my balls twitch like I just spilled hot solder on them.

In conclusion,

Buy a fucking dictionary, stop trying to be black and ghetto, you're neither, be proud to be white trailer trash fecalphiliac penis fencing frottaging zoophile...oh wait that's DarkSock...
 

Poor, poor Annabelle. The tilt of her head announces the distaste for manboobs with missile tip nipples. Drink held defensively, battling slab of fat belly. Forced smile of a showme's waitress in duress. Is this one of their sisters? Or a vixen held captive while delivering Stego his lady drink to spike his blood sugar?
 

Annabelle just won a $50 bet with her friends.

She's also created a lifelong story for these three sorry asses. It'll morph over the years from a simple single photograph to the "Remember, back at that party, when that tan little hottie walked right up to us and asked if she could blow us all? Oh, dude, that was one of our best afternoons. I miss being young. Chicks just don't do that shit anymore. You think it's my gut, Kimo?"
 

Damn, Jabba the Hutt was a pimp too, but everyone did right by ganging up on him and strangling him.

You can always spot a douche because their arguments go straight for the nads, with the "haterade" and "can't get laid". I realize this detracts from my own argument, but it's like they're permanently sucking dick.
 

I vote Stegosaurusbag for the weekly.
 

totally premature speculation on next week's Doucheys. namely, the entry for the Fatbag. now we're gonna be really confused between the Fratbag and the Fatbag.

oh and rehabkid: HAHAHAHAHAHA that was weak. you should threaten to fuck somebody up or something.
 

That young man on the right is going to need something alot stronger than a shirley temple to make himself forget the image of the buddhabag. 4 people posin' 3 bags a baggin' 2 shirley temples and a hott with no where to run ( Sung to the tune of the twelve days of christmas )
 

oy y meant next YEAR's Doucheys in my previous post. yeah. he's all that.
 

the y should be I. damnit.
 

Someone lost a horrible...horrible bet.
 

QUICK...... SPOT THE RICH GUY!!
 

Um.......yeah

I have no words for this one..

I say you guys fill in the blank for me.

"A belly that big is good for one thing only, and that is......."

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

^ leverage!
 

if used as a fulcrum
 

Guy to Annabelle's left isn't doing any hand gestures, doesn't have jesus or military bling or stupid hair, etc. I think he may deserve a pass.
 

Dammit Douchal, either grind the damn corn or chew it so that it digests, I'm tired of visualizing it in your poo.
 

Marlon Brando had a belly that big.

Orson Wells(Welles?) had a belly that big.

Grover Cleveland had a belly that big.

Winston Churchill had a belly that big.

Pavarotti had a belly that big.

Jackie Gleason had a belly that big.

Pot-bellied pigs have bellies that big. So do pot-belly stoves.

But NO-belly has hair like that except Stegosaurusbag.

Tiny-Annabelly, run for your life.
 

In the oft-quoted maxim, this dude would starve to death anywhere else in the world. But in the U. S. of A., he's able to pork himself up to abominable proportions by being... a "Vegas promoter"? What the fuck is that anyway? What can this tub of goo possibly promote? A coronary by 30? Watch him in action here and here.
 

to Pencil Doucher:

That is wrong, wrong, wrong. Damn! What the hell are you doing watching that crap?
 

I'm educating myself about humanity, my friend.
 

@ Pencil Doucher @ 3:31

Is this so it will easier to assimilate us when your Borg cubes arrive in orbit?
 

Since DB1 has taken to using obscure Doctor Who references in his posts, let me counter by saying that douche on the left is an Absorbaloff.

"Don't bring me dowwwwwnnnn, Bruce!" (with apologies to Jeff Lynne, who I'm certain reads this site)
 

Hey PD, you owe me a Denny's Big Slam breakfast because mine is now twirling down the terlet.
 

Waffle House is better. Ask the Los Lobos guy there...
 

She resembles Holy Blue Triangle, no?
 

I would like to save Annabelle from Rodrigo the fauxhawked pervert, especially since she could pass for Surfer Kelly's baby sister. And that's no stretch.....

Oh lord, what a disturbing parallel.
 

@Pencil Doucher, 1:35 a.m. -

And to think some of bcs' links are still worse.....
 

the hawk... the shock... the flab... it's too much