Is that a transvestite hott?
 

I would give her the best 2 minutes of her life!!

ASvB
 

Ted needs to discover Clearasil.....
 

To paraphrase the lyrics from the Cracker song "Movie Star":

Well the movie star, well she crashed her car.
But everyone said she was more beautiful without her head.
 

They must live next to a chocolate factory, because both of their faces look like hammered dog shit.

ASvB
 

It's pretty sad when the hott is a bigger douche than the douche is.
 

Oh she could get nice and hard from me!!!!
 

Amazing what a tanning booth, peroxide, a boob job, and Ultra Slimfast can do for a Skank.

I'd lock the Douche in the Hotts tanning booth, jump-Wire closed the tanning timer, and then leave for a nice 4 day weekend.
 

meh
 

Ted couldn't believe his luck. The only blind hooker in town, and she was his for the hour.

ASvB
 

This chick looks like Paris Hilton after she was Donkey Punched by Muhammed Ali and Joe Frazier in the same night. Her neck is frozen in that punched-from-behind sort of way.


And I can't tell if her hairdo is a work of art or a work of rabid and psychotic menstruating hairdressers?!
 

they are getting scary good at making these fucking real dolls, except they forgot to gape this one's mouth open.
 

She has the bod of a stripper but the face of a center in a quarterback sneak. Quick, someone turn out the lights.
 

@ bcs

You buy this doll and it does nothing but piss-and-moan and bitch and complain and spend your money on cheap jewelry and crappy looking nails.
Then she'll park her skinny ass in front of your tv all day watching not but shitty MTV shows.

Then you finally murder that doll.
 

What is wrong with her hair?? It looks like my 2 year old niece got loose with a flat iron and some bobby pins.

Plus, it looks like she has a raisin stuck to her butt.

These two scream, "We're the richest people in our teeny town in Alabama! Everyone tells us we look like Michael Phelps and Paris Hilton!"

I hate them.
 

Nice she-mullet. Ted has the look of a proud hunter..."looked what I just bagged".
 

I'm giving this guy a pass.
Nottadouche. Just a $9 an hour factory worker with bad hair and bad skin.
He was first in the strip club that night and Buffy posed with him before she stared her shift.
 

I recognize the interior of this strip club. I was the project manager on the stage retrofit. We had to earthquake-proof it to accommodate *insert 'bag hunter's name here* mom.
 

Paris Hilton and Shia LeBeouf starring in, "Interview with a Wimp-ire!"
 

Associative thought inspired by this picture:

My aunt was talking to me about rednecks at the county fair in Lake County, Illinois and she said, "Did you ever notice, they all have the same face?"
 

He reeks of Daddy's Money and by Daddy's Money, I mean poo.
 

In a world rife with wannabes she's a Goliath. She's got the Paris Hilton "thang" going on without the billionaire upbringing.

In other words, she's talentless with a future in amateur porn awaiting. The beauty of amateur porn is I can see her naked and getting banged without contracting disease and the resulting guilty feeling of infidelity later had I bumped (very) uglies with her..

Where do I sign up?
 

Later that night the strip club manager was cleaning up when he noticed some fizzling, bubbling and hissing sounds coming from the spot on his brand new leather seats
just.about.where.her.ass.was.parked.
 

that dude in black has a HUGE cock.

and the guy in the jeans has a tiny dick.
 

@ Vin Douchal

There's nothing wrong with amateur porn.
 

@vin douchal and Billdouchiest

I'mn all for it, especially if, in this case, it's of the Japanese variety. Except instead of blurring out their genitals, they blur out her face.
 

Where is the store all these douchelicks shop at; Where all the top buttons on the shirts are missing? Someone needs to drive a U-haul truck full of fertilizer and dynamite up to the front door and press the button. ...Maybe we'll take out a few bleeths like this too if we're lucky.
 

in this case i think she is passing the grieco virus to him rather than vice versa.

-speak the hungarian douchebag
 

She's not yet jerky, but she's doing her best.
 

I just love it when the extensions don't match the rest of the hair. Kudos to your stylist, and to you for leaving the salon looking like a hot tranny mess.

Chet, I'll give you a nottadouche pass, but you're on double secret probation for seeming interested in her.
 

Oh man, she would like like hell rolling over in the morning...yuck...major ug cleverly hidden behind piles of makeup.
 

this tranny stripper is so gross that I would rather pay plinky's mom for a lap dance.
 

Why so many notadouche passes? I see grease, I see dog tags, I see hair that is supposed to look artfully tousled but instead look like beavers have been chewing on it. He's a douche, and for punishment, he has to/gets to fuck her.
 

Ted End.

Fuck Fung.
 

How does Jerzbag hang
With Paris Hilton imitation
Some mysteries go unsolved

Does that pass for haiku?
 

He's a demon douche sent here from the fire pits of choad hell. You can see that from his mark of the bag and from the combo Jesus/UDT neck wear. He has found the most bleethed out girl he can and is to mate with her in order to bring about the birth of the anti-Christ that will soak the world in a mist of axe and orange self-tanner. We must exorcise the demon! THE POWER OF XENU COMPELS YOU, THE POWER OF XENU COMPELS YOU! Leave this dorkey poser's body in peace! By the power of Greyskul...er I mean Samurai Scrote I order you OUT foul demon!

This douche is clean.

And I'm spent.
 

Hey, I think that's the kid from the Geek Squad that fixed the Gorgontron 2000 laptop last month. Nice to see where my $300 dollars went....buying fake dog tags and lap dances from someone whose stage name I can only assume is "Three Mile Island".
 

@ashfish

Now that I've read your post, I'm scared. Hold me.
 

@ anon 10:31

I count 5, 9, 7. So, no, that does not pass for haiku.
 

Let her bleeth,l et her bleeth,
Let her bleeth, let her bleeth.

Wafting scents of skankdom, let her bleeth

 

His smile
is secretly
enjoying a prostate
exam while
still unaware
that the doctor
has found a
tumor.
 

@Mr. White

You should be, It's like we're living in a Keanu Reeves movie.

"Like, the anti-Christ is going to be so totally tubular dude! We can take him out to hang with all the broskies, drink some bitchin' goose, bang some hella tight laydayz, and just totally douche it up!" *Cue air guitar*

Oh man, I made myself a little queesy channeling that much Reeves.

I'll make room for you under the bed and we can hide there.
 

So Jersey still exists, eh? Wonderful. What is it about chicks from that place and their posture/poses? Do they all have inverse osteoarthritis or something?

Has anyone read the fine print in the requirements for the auto bailouts? Apparently Chrysler is going to be required to make a plug in grease/electric hybrid that vaccuums oil directly off douchebags like this, WHILE they drive. It's as close as they've come to a perpetual motion machine.
 

that Jersey Bleeth right there is secretly complaining why she's holding a bottle of water and not a bottle of Belvedere. cue Acey Douchey.

oh shit did i just say "cue Acey Douchey?" is he on a murderous rampage after finding out that he didn't win any Douchey awards?

i must bolt on some wood on my doors and windows now.
 

Okay, here's a frightening observation:

Hott bears a striking resemblance to (ahem) Doris Day (yes, I made that incredibly dated ref). Maybe her great granddaughter crossed with Paris Hilton after a much needed boob job?
 

holy shit I know this guy!!!
 

@King, then tell him to take a fucking shower, lose the UDT, and get tested. God only knows what lies in that body of work.
 

@ Ashfish

Whoa!
 

The lanky skank with the tied-on hair
courts the junior douche with the wanker stare.
That's quite a pose that you've shown us there,
with your add-on boobs and your smarmy glare.
Your necklace graces the titty fair,
and your left thigh places a pretty pair
of legs together in a "c'mn" dare:
Let's get together in my Bleethy lair.
 

This is the story of the Johnny RottenDouche.

It's better to to burn out than fade away, and trust me, after spelunking in her cave, Lydon's little guy is going to burn for weeks.

She's got a face like a catcher's mit to boot.
 

Butter-face has a nice figure, some bigass square shoulders, hair like the tail of my pretty pony & a face better suited for a game of squash

let's hope Gas Jockey Joe here makes her truly a Butt-her-face!
 

When I looked at this picture, my first thoughts were, skating rink, all that white.

His low-cut shirt made me think, skate-man, and her bare outfit wasn't any more or less so than a skater's.

As you say, just sayin.'
 

She'd be hot if she had two braincells to rub together.

I'm quite serious. This is the kind of woman that sets the gender war back to the stone throwing stage. Ignorant of her own self-worth, she claws wildly for any shred of identity. Then, someone tells her (probably in a fumbling coup to get her bra off behind the Tastee-Freez) that when the security light hits her just right, she looks like Paris Hilton. She fixates. Emboldened by this observation/shameless inaccuracy/lie, she abandons her own identity and did her best to replicate Hilton with an $800 Tijuana titjob and a $9 hair extension she found in the bin at Marshall's. She then exhausts what remains of her cleverness points by renaming herself Paryse when she took the job at Jiggler's, where she works the left stage on the lunch shift.

Poor, sad little butterface. If only she had honed what she had instead of stealing the unattainable styles that Celebrity projects. It's like that time that Peter Brady decided that his own personality wasn't cutting it so he decided to be Humphrey Bogart. The main difference being that I'd rather bang Humphrey Bogart than this sad apparition. And by that I mean Humphrey Bogart the way he is now. Sure, it would be a tad musty, but at least I wouldn't start crying half way through.
 

@BVG

Yea but she sure can work that third stage Jiggler's pole man, a sight to behold, and by behold I mean shove live chinchillas with spears into my eyes until the furry little bastards have made a home sweet home in my skull and I can hear them drunkenly argue over the newest MTV doucheality show.
 

This guy looks like a goofier version of me. Yech
 

I do not like her; she has "HIGH MAINTENANCE" tattoed on her flappy outer labia.

I'll bet however that in that sitting stance, on that leather couch, that she could rip a fart that sounded like high-test tent fabric tearing in a gale storm.
 

Fake tan Fake hair Fake tits real douche god bless dirty jerzy
 

How can a body so right have a face that resembles a shovel so? And he's almost not a douche, but unbuttoned dress shirts and chest moles are established douche fodder.
 

I don't care what the rest of you fuckers think. That's one smoking hot body, even if the face is already begging for some bag balm. I'd bang that so fast she'd still be in the middle of asking "are you in yet?" when I'm already booking for the elevator. Of course I'd insist on a bucket of bleach to dunk my junk into on the way out, but I'm sure she's already got that on standby.

He's a minor league douche-wannabe. Miles to go before he can scrote it up with the big boys at Rehab. It'll take a few years of practice, assuming his tackle doesn't go all septic from leatherface there.
 

She spends most of her time in the basement lying in her RelaxSun 24. Too much eye makeup, extra crispy skin, and while I'm not one to judge poor tit work (I happen to find askew nipples quite charming) but these do have that Jiffy Boob vibe going. But the real travesty here, aside from Best Buy Ted's "I have my own homemade headshot portfolio" pose, is the three foot synthetic horsetail draped over Bleethy Jerz's arm. I think they have these at Dollar General or at most costume shops.

What are they playing at? What roles are they assuming this evening?

The LBD is the only redemption, but it is too little to overcome the knee that is too bony, the faces too shiny, the handstamp too prominent, the douche chest too concave.

God is droll.
 

Gross.
 

He's a douche-wannabe, she's a whore, but if he can score, then kudos. Just be sure to visit the clinic the next day & get a 3 month supply of Valtrex. And a shot of penicillin just to be safe.

Her wheatstalk "weave" probably has little animals living in it & stanks to high heaven, just like her cooch.
 

She more Bleeth than he Bag....and that's hard to do.
 

she's too fake looking to be a hott. i'm surprised at you DB1.
 

Look Lance! The fleet's in!
 

She is everything you could possibly build from plastic and bleach. and I love her. she so desperately wants to meet me, that she was willing to be photographed with this Stanley so that this pic would be seen by me on our fave website. well, Tanya, your plan has worked. I have seen you, now I must have you.
 

Anon @ 7:27 FTW

heh heh
 

Ok so she has a great body, and endless legs. Her hair is retarded, looks like a pony's tail. I'm not even gonna address Geeksquad on the left, he's to lame. But she may be the bigger douchbaggette