And by hohos he means the one on the right?
 

Merry Christmas everyone!
(and Happy Hanukkah/Festivus/etc.
 

A Delightful Christmanzaanukkah to all my fellow haters!

(That should satisfy the politically correct douchebags, huh?)

Seriously, I hope everyone has a terrific holiday season and an even better 2009!
 

God damn. He couldn't be more douchey.
 

Looks like Mama-san is getting some from Crissssss Angel!

Me ruv you rong time!
 

It's Christmas, and I'm running to the market to purchase, "Step-Brothers" with my Christmas present money!!
 

Merry Christmas, all.

Now that I've seen that pic, I believe the universe must be imploding.

I must now prepare for the end.

Of course Blondie Hott could save me (hopefully my wife will stay in the kitchen making me birthday pancakes as I type this)!
 

DB1 I'm glad you posted this pic, it reminded me to pick up some toilet paper.

ASvB
 

Oh, hell. This guy is the reason Christmas trees catch fire. Grease plus dry tree plus poo equals fireball. that one in the back is gonna go up any second.

Merry Christmas, wheeze & Adolf! And fuck PC.

Fuck fish slap too, while I'm up.
 

Happy B-Day Bill!!
 

"What? You're not the real Criss Angel?? Oh, what the hell. You've heard of a mercy handjob, haven't you?" Blondie's last words before she was infected with plasmavores from fake Criss Angel's soul patch.
 

Thanks, ASvB!





(and yes, Fuck Fish Slap)
 

What the heck was I thinking?? There's no stores open today.

ASvB
 

@ Medusa

Merry Christmas to you too honey.
I got you a new riding-crop, with leather tassles.

ASvB
 

Merry Christmas 'Bag Hunters all.

And to Blonde Santa's Helper...I'll come down your chimney my dear.

!!BOING!!


№êŁ
 

@ Medusa

BTW, DarkSock needs a spank'n!!!!

ASvB
 

Hapy Christmas DB1

& thanks for all the chuckles!
 

Darksock would stick the riding crop in is ass and gallop around the room with the tassles bouncing up and down like his tail. Probably. I mean it sounds like something he would do. Nevermind. Still drunk.
 

What's that one on the left, the house grandma? That bitch could've stormed Pearl Harbor!! Blondini shiksa- nice. Girl who doesn't know how to have her fucking picture taken, also nice. Nic Cage's son- wipe your mouth boy- you still got a little shee-it on the bottom lip. That looks like the bassist in a Motley Crue tribute band I saw- his name was...




Likki Dixx. (Rim shot)
 

Hopefully the Elves will sprinkle Crissdouche with Holy Water, causing him to burst into flames and send his wretched evilness back to Hell forever.
 

Adolf:

Walfgreens's is open, good buddy. Depending on how extensive the selection is at your local Walgreen's, one could conceivably stock all of their entertainment needs for today. Tombstone pizza, lube, YooHoo, lube, anal thermometer, lube, reindeer horns, well you get the picture. Ours even has a video section. Best wishes, my friend- you were on a roll last night but I woke up slobbered to the carpet in the hallway so don't remember seeing it. Laughed my ass off this a.m. though. Since kids are with their Mom at her mom's, I only have to appear via tele-conference in 15 minutes. Then I shall resume the festivities. Love to all. Especially you HOTT POTATO
 

Merry Christmas everyone. DB1, tall brunnette elf is the best present ever. Thank you.
 

What Choad is This

What Choad is this who mugs the Hotts
That dress like sexy Santas?
Whom 'hunters mock around the clock
He wears cyan mandanas

(chorus)
This, this is Criss the Fake
Whom ‘hunters taunt and Bleeths partake;
Hate, hate, now bring Him scorn,
This Scrote, this Douche of Christmas

So bring Him insults, jeers and jests
Come comments, wit to pwn Him
His patch of soul declares asshole
We pray these Hotts won’t bone Him

(chorus)
 

That's all I got this morning.

I think the left Hott is just in an unfortunate pose (aside from having the choad fling a gesture over her tits, that is) and she probably isn't quite as old as it makes her appear. Any or all of them would make 'nad warming presents.

The parody needs a couple more versus...I didn't get to the 'bag gesture with black nails, that atrocious watch, the dated Jesus bling, or Blondie's Valley of Cleavite...oh, and that Pris eye makeup...so much to mock, so little time.

Merry Douchemas and Hottie New Year everybody!
 

I woke up this morning to Tiny Annabelle under the Christmas tree in the playpen. Oh, that naughty minx Medusa knows what I like!

Of course, poor Tiny Annabelle was already dead.

Hm.

Anybody remember what kind of acid will destroy a human body but not your bathtub?

Anyone?
 

Hydrochloric, but it'll take some time.
 

LITLTE TARMAL BOY!

FUE #THEHYT OLD ME, PA RURJLK PA PFUM PUM!
A NEOW BORN SLAPHOLE SEE< PA RUM PAY PUM PUM!
SOMEO PIEC EO FSHIT I BRING< PAU RU PUA UPUM PUM!
TO LAYBEFORE THUS DOUCHE@, PA URM PUM PU PUM
RUM )PUM FUE PUM@!
RUMP UMP PUM PUM!

SO TOM TRMAL HIM, PA UTRM PUM PUM PUM
WHEN I COMWO !

LITLTE CRISS ANGLE, PAU RUM RUM PUPM PUM!
I AM AHIUT COCKSLAP TOO< PA RUM PUYM OUMP PUM!
I HAVE A NIFE FOR YOU, PA RUM PUMP UPM PUM!
THAT:"S FIT TO SHANK YORU @ASS< PA RUM PUM PUMP UM
RUM PUM: :PUM PUM
FATHOTH PUM PU!

SHAJL I ASTAB YOUR FACW< PAM RUP PJ PUM
WITH MY SHAKN?

BLODNE HOTT NODDED, JPA RUM PUM PUM PUM!
HIS BLEEDIGN @@ FACE MET FLOOR, PAU RUM PUM PUM PUM!
I WORKE DMY BLADE OFRH HIM, PA RUMP UMP UM PUM!
I TAMRALED MY BEST GHUONFEM FHIM PA RUM PURM PUM!
RUM PUMR PUJMR! PUR!
FUE PUM PFDE FLAP!

THEJNJK HE DIED FOR ME< PA RUM PUM PUM PUM!
BEWATING MY MEAT!
 

What we are missing from these images innate to the notion of the douche/bleeth is this:

"Imagine the freedom".

Imagine the freedom to be conscious of what kind of a scrote bag moron oyu are, and yet walk around and advertise it.

Imagine the freedom to have zero self respect and have oneself surgically re-arranged to look like a barbie doll.

Imagine the freedom to dress and act like a guido, and have the nerve to say "Yeah - I know the name of the DJ - it's DJ GO FUCK YA SELF!"

Imagine the freedom to dress and act like Ozzy Osbourne only with intention, as Osbourne does it because he fried his brains years ago.

Imagine the freedom...

Imagine the freedom...
 

That's Michael Godard in the middle of the Hotts. He's an artist that paints olive themed scenes and a good friend of Criss's but not nearly the same amount of gigantic douche that Criss actually is.
 

Ah yes, Merry X-Mas to all and thanks for making me spew copious amounts of liquids onto my keyboard all year.

And special thanks to DB1 for making this all possible, now enough with my ass kissing.

Yes, that's a real older photo of me. Happy Mooby Day fuckers!

*runs by and pinches Medusa on the left cheek*
 

I think Flyteeth captured the Docuhemas spirit quite well.

I was moved, touched, by the imagery of bleeding 'baggery. It has been since the release of Butchered at Birth that I've had such intense feelings.

Thanks for the TARMAL, Flyteeth. Thank you.

(And Troy, that freedom can come from a lobotomy, too, much like Ozzy did without a little tarmal boy to help him. There are many paths to freedom, but only a few worth taking. Douchedom and brain surgery are two we should avoid. I reserve judgment on alcohol abuse at this time, for personal reasons.)
 

Why does this guy look so damn familiar? ...oh yeah, now I remember. He looks like every other wannabe rock star ever. Ever.

Merry Christmas and whatnot 'bag hunters. I got a whole shipment of full size, Suzanne Sommers-endorsed Thighmasters to be inserted midway into the cavernous vaginal cavities of EVERYBODY's mom so she can do her Kegels with resistance training and try to regain some of the elasticity she had when she was a spry and limber 65 year old prostitute.

Cheers.
 

DB1:

May all your Ho-Hos be filled with creamy goodness, may all your Yoo-hoos be chilled and well-shaken and most importantly of all...

boobies.

Merry Christmas
 

If the undigested maraschino cherries in my shit could pose for a photo, it would look exactly this.
 

WTF is that tasteless watch? Gaudy doesn't even begin to describe it.

He probably found it up his arse when his boyfriend lost it there last weekend.








That's how Plinky gets all his bling.
 

Any dude that wears mascara must be a bad-ass.


By bad-ass I mean he flunked off the high school ballet team.


And by high school I mean the $50K a year prep-school mommy and daddy sent him to so that he'd grow up straight as an arrow.

And by mommy and daddy I mean a team of lawyers and agents designed to help propel him to super-stardom.

And by super-stardom I mean sucking dick backstage at the Cirque de Soleil.

-- - - - - - - -- - - - - -- - -

If I keep staring at blondie any longer my erection's gonna pop with such force the blood spatter is going to blow holes in my drywall.
 

@ Vin Douchal

That was just mean.
 

This guy's face inspired a hot new childrens' toy this Christmas:
"Molest Me Elmo."
 

hey so that IS Michael Godard!

well, this news confirms that he should be mulched / composted like most real Christmas trees will be after December 25. and the sad thing is, real Christmas trees bring more joy to the holidays than Michael Godard, by an infinity-to-zero ratio.

hotties, however, are boobies. and boobies are chocolate HoHos.
 

Chag Sameach!
 

@ Anthony LaBaglia -
Right back at ya, babe! Put a bow on that beautiful head of yours and smile!

Wow... this photo contains too much guyliner, and just the right amount of Christmas cleavage. Maybe one of these chicks will smarten up and strangle him with his big-ass Jesus bling (so appropriate for Christmas day), and I'm hoping it's the one on the right 'cause I think she could do the job without breaking a sweat.

I love how blondie's bra is showing. *rawr*
 

Also-
Happy Birthday, Bill!

And Happy Festivus to everyone! Hope your Festivus poles are up and ready. ;)
 

@Plinky 1030

By that line of reasoning his career seems to be right on track.


@Flyteeth 946

I hope your cellmate gives you something nice for Christmas.
 

@IdahoHott 1117

When the time comes for 'Feats of Strength' please let me know. I'd like a chance to wrestle.
 

uh. hey Crucial, if you're in Costa Rica, can I have your Laker tix? thanks Brah! & a merry Christmas to all the lessor Croosh's
 

@ Froudouche-

You're ON. I must warn you however, that the coffee has taken effect and I am a beast on caffeine.
 

it's still cold here Plinky... where's your snow shovel?
 

flyteeth-

awesome dude. Awesome.
 

Merry Christmas All.
 

crucial's not here, so i gots shitfaced in his honor...


happy holidays, you magnificent bastards!
 

May your yuletide log find comfort and joy between those Blonde Angel boobies, DB1.

And in a few other places, too.
 

Ho, butt-ho, ho, ho.
 

@ ASvB

Awww...*inhales deeply* wow...reech coreeenthian leather...You're too good. And why, pray tell, does Sock need a spankin' this time? I'm still reeling over the story about father-and-son penises. If he were here I'd have trouble looking him in the eye.


@ Mr. White 9:38

I'm sorry. I tried. It seems she had gotten caught under one of Jorge's titties and suffocated before I got there.

I would suggest Quicklime, bit I have only tried that in a wooded setting, I'm not sure how it would react on porcelain or ceramic.

Tickets now on sale for the Frodouche/Idaho Hott wrastlin' match. Great seats are still available!

@JCVD 10:01

*playful slap on your left cheek as you pass*
Ass cheek, that is. Nice photo, me likey.

@BVG
I imagine Christmas at your house is like what happened when Jack Skellington took over.
 

@ Adolpb 8:26 am

O you have no idea sir
 

if the house granny on the left were fellating me it would look like one of those little folding army shovels.

Or is it just me? Again...
 

Let's kick off our Boxing Day celebration by nominating Smilin' Mick Mars here for the weekly.

Fuck Fung.
 

BTW, aNDY sUCKS pENIS,
true story
 

thats michael godard the dude who paints all the olive pictures. he has a gallery here in vegas

http://www.michaelgodard.com/
 

thats michael godard the dude who paints all the olive pictures. he has a gallery here in vegas

http://www.michaelgodard.com/
 

i know he looks like the biggest d-bag on the planet...but he's actually this amazing painter...i saw some of his stuff on the last cruise i went on