Droopy FTW
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott

Something about the look on that dude's face makes want to stomp on his skull.
 

I've already predicted this in June.

MetaHouliDouche for DotY
 

You have to give McScrote props that Surfer Kelly is even by his side, but metadouchtastic is the epitome of douchdome
 

I gotta give it to Surfer Kelly and Droopy McScrote, simply because staring at this photo is akin to chewing on aluminum foil and two 9V batteries while drinking lemonade. It seriously brings me that much pain to see such a teeth-melting hott with such a grundle swatch of douche. He EMBODIES what this site and what the book is all about, and we would be remiss in our duties to overlook the pairing here. Droopy McScrote for the win, and a much deserving nailgun to his frontal lobe.
 

I vote: The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott without a doubt. I still contend droopy knows he's a douche, so he's disqualified. Deathtongue is just a drunken dick...but Metaphysical actually takes himself seriously and thinks he rocks, and Carly Hott is f-in hott!

Metaphysical FTW.
 

Droopy McScrote ftw. Death Tongue is a minor league scrote compared to the other two and the Mia Sara quartasian is just barely tolerating posing for this pic. Now the Metaphysical Hooligan's sneer/shaved hair star/pierced nipple combo juxtaposed against a wonderfully filled out skull bikini is the kind of poo / hott dichotomy that makes the bile rise, yes I won't argue that. But what it really comes down to is this: start at the top of this page and scroll down until you see the phrase "a dialectic to ignore. Doctor Douchelittle explains:" at the very top edge of your browser. Now look at that perfectly formed surfer bod the color of a perfectly toasted marshmallow next to that pasty, stretch mark ridden lump of dough with the faux-gangsta tattoo, and imagine him on top of her. And this isn't even taking the trucker hat/bling/double chin/hand gesture into account. If you don't think that is the ultimate contrast of hott / poo, my friends, then I'm not sure I want to be a part of this with you anymore. You know in your heart how you should vote. Don't disappoint me.
 

I will spare the public at large any long-winded, half-assed, hackneyed, insights on my behalf.

This time.

For this round I will rely solely on the ancient wisdom of the Chinese Zodiac which foretells 2009 to be The Year of the Droopster


Droopy FTW
 

I'm torn, but I have to stay the course. I've been a long-time supporter of Surfer Kelly, and so I will remain.

Droopy and Surfer Kelly for the win.
 

While I am most jealous of Deathtongue and thus, hate him most, I must cast my vote for Metaphysical Hooligan as he is painstakingly intentional in his being the douche he is and has a body of work a few pics deep.

I cant help but feel like any other vote, despite my love for Mia Sara Hott (she will take Hottest Hott i'm sure) would lead to a paper champ who is not really enough to rule the throne as taken by Joey P last year and 2nded by FishSlap.

Metaphysical FTW ("and this, I command"- Serpentor)

Army of Douche-ness
 

Droopy McScrote.
 

Hooligan and Carly FTW!!!
 

TWO. I mean, come on, the layered star on the side of his head continues into a sideburn.

I am really surprised that Droopy made it this far. Something essential to the definition of the word douchebag to me is that it is likely you will lose to them in a fight. This is by no means the case with droopy. He's more of a goofbag than a douchebag. You laugh at both, but you don't hightail it from the goofbags when they realize (if they do) that you are mocking them.
 

I almost feel sorry for Droopy. He's 6 years from asking for change on the sidewalk. Thus he inspires no rage.

Carly appears to be surgically enhanced. She's definitely bleethed. The yearly winner must include a pure, unadulterated hott--like Mia Sara, possibly the hottest hott to ever hot.

DEATHTONGUE encapsulates all that this site is. There have been bigger douches, but no picture on this site has ever caused me so much rage.

DEATHTONGUE FTW.

Mia Sara--WHY??
 

This is tough. I need to consult the only believable oracle ever in the history of recorded mankind, The Magic 8-Ball.
 

Droopy McScrote is the only one who would leave me confused, standing beside him with a baseball bat.

Swing at his skull or just keep laughing?

The other two don't bring any ambiguity to mind. Just swing away.

Therefore, in the context of mocking/disgust and not icy hot cold boiling blooded murderous rage, I vote Droopy.
 

Droopy/Surfer FTW.
 

Originally I had wanted to go with Metaphysical H. However, a previous anonymous' unpleasant description of Droopy flipping and flopping all over that poor girl has swayed me to vote McScrote instead.

Additionally, it is clear that Droopy has made a deliberate and relentless attempt to personify douchiness, whereas MH seems to achieve it only incidentally due to his confused and bizarre aesthetic sensibilities. And stare.

And as much as I hate Deathtongue, the guy simply sucks. He doesn't really have enough character for the yearly, in my opinion.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan ftw. He hates the camera and the camera hates him.
 

Carly reminds me of Fran Drescher.

Just throwin' it out there.

Mia Sara is the most beautiful woman I have seen on the site, I think. Hourglass may have it, but I can't see her face or her ass, so it's a tough call.

Just throwin' it out there.
 

Droopy/Kelly in a landslide
 

This may be one of the hardest votes I've ever had to make.

On one hand you have the delectable Surfer Kelly. With that tight skirt, toned abs, and killer legs she can hold her own on this site. Then there's Droopy. He's rocking a belly, some bizzare tattoos that look like they'd be on a professional Japanese video-game player. Holding the cell phone in one hand, almost hidden behind gaudy rings. But he has stretch marks.

And then there is Deathtongue. Unlike Droopy who seems out of place with the hott, Deathtongue feels she is entitled to him. It's like in elementary school when
you lick an Oreo so no one else takes it. And Mia Sarah is no Oreo. She's the finest dessert I could ever order.

But Droopy has stretch marks.How can you take a man with stretch marks seriously for HCWDB title of the year? You can't. Deathtongue deserves the douche of the year.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

I refuse to vote for anyone except BRA! you broheims don't know how to vote, broskis.
 

Droopy FTW
 

i have to go for death tongue. the bile that he causes to pool at the back of my throat does not lie. i cannot get over feeling completely disgusted and rage filled when i see his nasty tongue and the sneer on his face. i think the hooligan more embodies what the site is about, but the tongue is so vomitous and so wretched it cannot be ignored.

tongue ftw!
 

Droopy McScrote FTW!
 

Deathtongue doesn't hold a candle to the other two, so we can kick him out straight away.

So it's a battle to the poo between the Hooligan and Droopy, between Carly and Kelly.

I can't think of two ickier couples - they are both fantastically vile in so many ways.

In many ways, they are very similar. They both feature a giant star on their heads - one carved into his hair, the other on his hat. They both wear pointless ugly bling. They both have their underwear showing. They are both missing their shirts. What the hooligan lacks in tatts, he makes up for in piercings. Neither of them have body hair, except Droopy has some in his armpits.

So, we need to look for differences.

Hooligan is pretty buff. Droopy is a fat mess. Hooligan exhibits an affect of sneering contempt. Droopy exhibits an affect of blasé indifference and entitlement.

What I hear in the pictures:

Droopy: "So take da fuckin picture already!"

Hooligan: "Carly's all mine you fuckers, so fuck off you fuckers. And fuck you!"

Frankly, it's a draw between them. They are both so contemptible and disgusting, I know I'm going to have explosive diarrhoea after I post this.

So, I have to turn my eyes away from the poo, and gaze upon the hotts.

They are similar. Since these photos were taken, Carly had her bumpers enhanced to the size and volume Kelly exhibits. Kelly's got some rock hard abs going and a leaner figure in general. She appears to be much taller than Carly. Frankly, Carly's plucked eyebrows I find much less attractive than Kelly, but Kelly's wearing so much eye make up it's hard to figure out what she looks like.

Overall I personally find Kelly more attractive. She's fake and bleethy as can be, so she's no prize by any stretch, but in general I think she's a prettier girl.

That said, I really don't get the impression that she and Droopy are a couple. At the same time, I don't think she was "paid to pose". I ran the picture through the Shadow/highlight filter in Photoshop, and they appear to be in front of a wall with a chain link fence on top, with a low wall directly behind Kelly, that appears to have boxes and materials on it. I'm thinking this is a birthday party, and these two just happen to konw the person who threw it, or knows someone who knows someone. My guess is Droopy showed up with a buddy and they both said "Wow - dig THAT chick!" And they chatted her up and she was polite and talked with them, and then he said "Hey it's getting late - lemme get my picture with you!" and bingo - the picture was taken.

Now, Carly, as we know is definitely an item with Hooligan. Kelly may well be a pornstar, but Carly doesn't have that going - she's looking into the camera with the "LOOK AT MY MAN!!!" eyes.

She thinks Hooligan is the bees knees.

And THAT for me is the tipping point where I have to vote for Hooligan. Kelly is probably on some shoot right now getting 3 guys to spooge all over her boobies, but Carly? She's on the back of Hooligan's Kawasaki as they drive up to the liquor store to get some beer and a pack of smokes. she has her arms firmly around Hooligan's waist, her head against his shoulder blades, thinking "My Man is THE BEST". Meanwhile Hooligan is sneering in his helmet thinking "That fucking asshole in the Honda needs to learn how to use his turning indicator. Fuckwit! And my balls itch. I'll get Carly to lick 'em when we get home."

Hooligan for the win.
 

I can't believe DT won the Southwest Regional.

That said, Droopy FTW.

Fuck Fung.
 

using my evaluation math (55% weighting for the douche & 45% for the hott), i have to vote for MH. mia sara hott is unbelieve, but she should win the hott of the year. deathtongue, while a douche, couldn't carry MH's dogtags.

MH ftw
 

I have to go Deathtongue FTW based on the rage factor. While the other douches are clearly first rate, top of the line poo, they are also comical. The anger is there but it is balanced by the fact that I could laugh all day at them.

Deathtongue gives me no joy. QMSH is unbelievable. Surfer Kelly and Carly Hott look like Beatrice Arthur and Rue McClanahan compared to QMSH.
 

Droopy and Kelly. The Odd Couple!

After all, dragging this scrote away from his job at the Magick Cauldron (note the Astro's hat) to whatever S'mores Schnapps product rollout must have been difficult, but maybe a fellow D&D dungeonmaster in the Montrose was going?

I still wonder how much Droopy paid her to pose? I can see it now:

"Hi, I'm Zardroopy. I'm an 8th level magician with elf powers. Here's a fifty. Would you pose with me? I promise I'll go straight home afterward and never bother you again... unless you like Harry Potter!"

"Make it a hundred," said Surfer Kelly.
 

i can't believe bra and mooby got beat by that pic. i just dont see whats so great (and by great i mean poo) about that pic.

For me it was between bra and droopy. so i guess i gotta go with droopy.
 

droppy is just an idiot who found a girl to pose with him, metaphysical hooligan is actually with carly. that makes me want to hurt something. metaphysical hooligan ftw.
 

In 2007 we had Joey P., Fish Slap (Fuck Him) and the Donk, I have to say the 2008 finalist pale in comparison. The rage they induce is nowhere near the rage produced by their predecessors. Therefore, I am writing in a vote for 'The Donk,' because he is so douchey that he somehow convinced a large number of baghunters that he wasn't a douche.

May my vote for 'The Donk' serve as a warning that a well-spoken douche, a douche that can write a semi-intelligible email, is still a douche, particularly if he purchases a $300 leopard print shirt and has star tatoos and rolls with Fish Slap.
 

Droopy McScrote should win. He's the most vomit-inducing of the finalists.
 

I'm going with Droopy. His 'bagginess is meta-bagginess. His scroteness is meta-scroteness. That is, his poseur's attempt to look like a total douche actually makes him douchier than almost any other douche we've seen in 2008. Also, you can see his stretch mark. BLARRRRGH!!

While I am a lady who is into dudes, I can certainly appreciate Surfer Kelly's cheerful smile, shiny hair, and enviable abs. She is why I work my ass off at the gym. Way to go, Kelly.

In conclusion, Droopy & Kelly are the most toxic combination of 2008. The Dynamic Due of Douchie Hotness. I have said my peace.
 

Droopy

1. He is an old, mid-life crisis douchebag with clear glasses, heavy bling that make his ears sag, enormous hard nipples but small areola, double chin, urban camo shorts, STRETCH MARKS, horrible tattoos, and a belly that has its own butt! UNREAL.

2. She is perfect; what I love about her is that she so obviously not interested, but that is the only thing that hurts this picture.

If she had been dry humping him or licking his belly in this picture there would be no contest. Still, the image of his belly sagging farther than her perfect breasts is just too amazing to not consider as HCwDB of the Year!
 

Metaphysical Hooligan ftw.
 

Droopy is a buffoon (and Surfer Kelly knows it), MetaHouli is seriously douchey but Carly Hott looks too nice to hurt his feelings. Mia Sara Hott, though, draws my eyes to hers in an instant, and I think "Hot Chick!" whereupon Deathtongue intrudes into my awareness and I think "Douchebag!" Seriously, this guy licking this particular hott is like a fungus growing on the Mona Lisa. I want to scrape his face back to the bone. Serious f'in choad rage happening here. Holy Living Fuck, I hate this picture. Her look might say "he's a tool" but to me it says "I'm hot and choosy and I choose to sleep with this guy tonight" which means there is no God and my life is, like, starting over.

Please, Deathtongue for the win, for all that is indecent and unholy.
 

Droopster ftw.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW. Even tho I wouldve changed the brackets and saved the showdown with BRA!! for the finals, Hooligan still takes it. Just the sheer time and energy taken to pull of this douche-look gets him the nod.

Droops tats are from a bygone era when he was a roadie for Aerosmith scoring on Joe Perry's overflow, you know, livin the dream. He's just trying to catch a memory of that before he goes back to his trailer...alone. He is sad, not rage inspiring.

Deathtongue however, is rage inspiring, and he almost gets the nod but it appears as tho QMSH was only with him for the one night. I'm willing to write that off as a combination of drunk/pity on her part. That and DT's douche ensemble isnt nearly that of Metaphysical Hooligan's

MH on the other hand is greater than either of his competitors and by greater I mean, punch worthy. The shaved star, the nipple rings, the gelled-out mohawk, the sculpted chin pubes, the dog tags, and of course the sneer. While not as bile inducing as Bra's smirk. It still makes me want to hit pygmys with Bras caveman club. Also, it appears that Carly Hott may actually be his girlfriend as they appear together twice more in different situations. DB1, this is you HCwDB of the year, and they deserve a place in the HoS already!

MH&CH FTW!
 

#1
 

Disappointed I am that Bra did not a finalist make.

Try? There is no try. Only douche.

To blame the dark side is.
 

for his body of work....

#2 Hooligan FTW!
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Deathtongue is a scrawny, little, wanna-be-bag who deserves to have his tongue stapled to the bottom of an Amish manure wagon while being sodomized by a barnyard billy-goat for defiling the Magnificent Mia Sara.
But, he's more like a contender for "The Ricky"...not a full-blown 'bag...just a heinous choad with an unbleievably hot chick.
Droopy is just a scrote hack. Not even good at being a douchebag. Surfer Kelly is likely his sister's friend posing with him the way a child poses with Goofey during a trip to Disney Land.
The Hooligan is a career douche. He works at it. Its his passion and a way of life for him. The sneer, the do, the bling, the pose, the point...and he is consistent...and by consistent, I mean nose scalding poo.
The Hooligan and his terminal bleeth have got to take the win.
 

Can I place a write in vote for Gator?
 

It was tough...but for the sheer audacity of douche, it goes to DT for the tongue maneuver. Even the guy behind them mocks them. But Deathtounge shall not be mocked.

For treating that hott like a Orange Creamsicle on a 95 degree day with 100% humidity, Deathtounge wins my vote for HcwDB of the Year.

Damn you DT. Damn you.
 

Metaphyiscal Hooligan FTW
 

None of these assholes inspire my loathing. Artificial Douchtelligence, on the other hand, does, and in truckloads.
 

I'll step in for Douchetoevsky and pour out a long winded piece of my drivel for everyone,

We come to HCwDB, we pontificating regulars, because it's our duty to speak in this place of mocking. But we must also confess, we're drawn here by other things as well: by the feeling of tingling loins, while gazing at the boobies; by the beauty of ass pears and suckle thighs; most of all, by DB1’s courage and determination. Perhaps the great Lemmy Kilmister understood something about ‘Bag Hunting. You see, like so many loyal hunters and huntresses before me, I come to this site almost every day; because wherever I go, whatever I do, the lyrics to: Nightmare – The Dreamtime, course through my veins as I witness our once proud culture being laid to waste by douchebags everywhere.

Yet I take solace, knowing that our mocking each day is being broadcast throughout all the World Wide Web. I understand that it is being seen and read in places as far off as Europe, Australia, and even Nebraska. Our message is spreading as evidenced by Elizabeth Banks plug on the Tonight Show. The front is advancing.

However, before us now, stands the supremely filthy embodiment of everything that defines the douchebag. Here, we are witness to a vast system of adoucherements and scrotal oeuvre that entangles his entire being.

I speak of Droopy.

From the tilted hat above, to the southerly stretch marks that cut across the distended flesh, ink stains, and Wal-Mart bling. They are there, and there they will remain. They remain as an instrument to impose upon ordinary men and women, the loathsome will of the scrotundae. Yet it is his pout where the oeuvre emerges most clearly; here, slapping us in the face, is the look of entitlement. Entitlement to crumb donuts, trans fats, Natural Ice®, gummy bears, and everything Good Charlotte has ever excreted. Worst of all: entitlement to hott’s like Surfer Kelly.

Again, I speak of Droopy.

Kaiser von Testesack once said: "The douchebag question is open as long as the book written by Jay Louis is closed." Today I say: As long as Droopy exists, as long as this stretch mark of stupendous proportions is permitted to stand, it is not the douchebag question alone that remains open, but the question of freedom for all mankind. Nevertheless, I do not come here to lament. For I find in HCwDB a message of hope, even in the greasy shadow of Droopy, a message of triumph.


Let us not forget the spring of 1945, when the people of Berlin emerged from Plinky’s mom’s prolapsed vulva to find devastation for thousands of miles in every direction; and the good people here at HCwDB lent their helping hands. And that winter’s eve in 1947, when DB1 himself announced the creation of what would later become known as the ‘Baghunter’s Bible. Speaking precisely 63 years ago this month, he said: "Our policy is directed not against any country or doctrine, but against grease, bad tattoos, tilted hats, and exposed man boobs." And lo, in the summer of 2008, the holy book Hot Chick’s with Douchebags was dropped.

That, mi amigos, is hope.


That hope cannot be realized until we rise up in unison and collective abhorrence for the despicable Droopy McScrote. The rightful heir to the DBotY trophy!!

Vote for Droopy!
 

Let us not forget that Gator would chomp these douches into tiny pieces if he were given the chance.

Can gator win the Thallbag Lifetime Achievement award two years running? It should go to Fish Slap or DD as they've had additional posts this year. Or does Fung qualify?

Fuck Fish Fung!
 

Hmmm... Tough call?

No. Not really

Droopy McScrote is a total choad and is with, BY FAR, the hottest hott shown.

Tops down...

Droopy FTW.
 

Droopy McScrote FTW. Long live Droopy.
 

Lets face it, Deathtongue will eventually give everyone herpes while the Metaphysical Hooligan will undoubtedly get himself curbed by someone far more badass than himself, which pretty much describes everyone. Dropy might be getting a virtual pass, but c'mon, how bad to do you have to feel for the tattoo artist who inked his disgusting belly? And then there is Droopy's Craigslist personal.

That personal is like a lifetime achievement award in douche scrotery.
 

And... Damn! Well said, Mr. Head!
 

Gotta go with #2 Hooligan
 

Gotta go with Droopy McScrote.
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan - just because his level of douche comes with corroborating evidence that it wasn't a one time thing. He's a douche till the bitter end.

Droopy - Fat, tattooed, and douchey is no way to go through life. If it weren't her job she wouldn't be hugging your smelly stretch marks.

Deathtongue - dude.Put it away. She's hugging you cause she feels sorry for your crutch using ass.

Mia - Come home honey. The bed is still warm. I'll be waiting.
 

Hate to see Bra upset by that evil Hooligan, but oh well.

gots to go with Droopy on this...
 

#2 FTW
 

Droopy is all things wrong with this world.
Droopy for the win.
 

Surfer Kelly
 

It's "Hot chicks with Douchebags". To me, Kelly and Droopy personify this site. She's so smoking hot I'd eat the peanuts out of her dogs shit just to smell her hair. And Droopy...well, is there anyway in hell that a Douche like him should even be allowed into the same zipcode as her? Droopy is the biggest Scrote this side of Fung....who should win Lifetime Chancellor of this site.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan, obviously.
 

Droopy, oh man, he just rages me to no end.

Though, I'm quite dissapointed Samurai Scrote didn't make the cut.
 

Metaphysical FTW. His flexing, pierced nips, ridiculous Bra-inspired head shave, blowouts-mullet hybrid and the fact that his hott is sober and happy to be with him is just one big pile of 3-day old enchilada sitting in the sun.
 

Droopy and Kelly are just too far removed from the laws of the universe to not get the vote. Alone, they are caricatures of their respective milieus. Kelly is scantily dressed, toned and tanned, and has a smile that confuses my brain as to where to redirect my blood flow. She is a vision of healthy, amazonian hott.

Droopy, Droopy, Droopy. In a fair world, you would be either running a comic book store or a multinational conglomerate. But when the douchola virus found you all those years ago, it infected you as a symbiont; a willing compatriot in douchitis. Judging by the ink, I'd say the folks at the tattoo parlor were rolling with laughter the moment the door shut behind you.

What forces my vote for the Droopy and Kelly is the combination of their individual excellence and the chasm of humanity between them, one which is defied by you physical proximity. Your brash violation is creating a black hole, as evidenced by the advancing of Droopster's stretch marks.

We will survive as a species however. Kelly's perfect stomach will shield us from the apocalypse , and we owe her our lives. Or at least the tearfully-whispered "Thank you" I say every time I see this evidence of her sacrifice.

Thank you, Kelly.

Thank you.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

droopy ftw

kelly for spank bank
 

droopy ftw
 

while i disagree with anon 7:25 about a douchebag being someone who could beat me up, as I think i would kick this shit out of most of these turd monkeys, I also cannot vote for the elderly goatcheese that is Droopy.

The metaphysical hooligan is a dirtbag. To me, the quintessence of Douche is not just that he's the guy who would steal your girlfriend, but that after he pulled a houdini on her and she realized the error of her ways and came back to you, you couldn't bring yourself to sleep with her again because you're fairly sure she got the clap from him. And I am sure that the Metaphysical Hooligan spreads the clap like mayonnaise over the wonder bread of society.

Metaphysical FTW.
 

Deathtounge.
 

#3 - The first pic makes me want to vomit, the second one seals the deal.
 

Surfer Kelly is the hottest. CArly hot doesn't move my loins. I think Metaphysical is more douchey than Droopy. Droopy strikes me as more pathetic than inherently douche. Meta was born douche.

So do you vote for the Hott, or "against" the Douche?

I'd rather see Surfer Kelly one more time.

Droopy & Kelly.
 

also here:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/Scarecrow2-707095.jpg
 

Meta ftw
 

@ Anon 7:43

You get it.

Droopy is a douche in his own way, but he isn't actually WITH Surfer Kelly. To wit, Droopy's pose is too un-possessive and Kelly's expression is too un-possessed. And by "to wit" I mean stretchmarks.

Because this is Hot Chicks WITH Douchebags (and not just with, with with) I gotta go with Hooligan. There is a chance that he has actually entered Carly Hott. Carly Hott in all of her pre-Bleeth sweetness. He'll ruin her. For that he must pay. By winning this award.

Hooligan FTW.
 

First, congrats to Deathtongue for spiking Samurai Scrote into the douchebin of history.

For yes, Mia Sara Hott is so hot, hotter than Carly, certainly, and the Hooligan is his closest aesthetic peer in this Baggle Royale. But, unfortunately, DT does not exude "The Aura" on the level that is summoned by the festooned and bescroted Hooligan.

In a battle with choaderstaffs to see who gets to cross the log across the creek, DT goes into the drink, which we can only hope is infested with alligators and the dreaded Brazilian penisfish.

Then, what ho, The Metaphysical Hooligan and Droopy McScrote emerge into a forest glade, where they must duel for scrotepremacy.

Surfer Kelly quickly takes down Carly-- whose face frankly looks like it was stretched to fit onto the front of her skull-- in the hott category.

Unfazed, the Hooligan flexes his mighty Adouchrements: gelled douchehawk with fabled shaved sides, douchetags, pierced manpple, tacked on chinpubes. They are both shirtless, ladies and gentleman, as they circle with deadly intent.

The Hooligan has amassed a considerable body of work. His investment in douchebaggery is clear, and his innate scrotieness is evident in his fiercely idiotic inwardly-focused gaze.

But Droopy McScrote summons that indouchefatigable combination of insouciance, nonchalance and "it's all about me" turdliness, thrusting it before him, his mighty douchetats billowing across his shirtless, formless torso like the proud sails of some man o' war.

McScrote, at once dweeb and dominator, selfish putz and self promoter, spreads his flabby arms, revealing a sprig of armpit shrubbery, as if to state "Here I am, in all my glory, as I should be, should ever be: and ever will. Behold the hott by my side. Behold my matter-of-factness, although I am That which Is, and yet Should Not Be."

Imagine, you are seated in his presence, "in da club", where his every gesture beckons "Yo; yo, respect my pull, me with the hott, here Yo. Yo?".

Yet his every physical facet beckons us to snort our drinks out through our nostils at the very sight of his strech marks. And his stupid red underwears. Not to mention the sight of his navel that looks like it has two buttcheeks and a buttcrack under it.

The Metaphysical Hooligan's knees crumple, the onslaught is just too much. Besides, he's at his best when he's sulking.

Droopy McScrote, Surfer Kelly you are our HCwDB of The Year.

--VS
 

Droopy is a clownbag & Surfer Kelly is paid to pose - thus not worthy of HCwDB of the Year, from my perspective.

The MH is a little more douchey than the DT, but the DT's hott is much hotter than MH's. So, I base my vote on the usual criteria: which picture brings out more blood boiling rage. So, my vote is for Deathtounge.

I have to say, a pretty weak final field this year. Donkey Douche, Joey Porsche or Fishslap would have blown this crew out of the water.
 

ID: GO TO COUTNY AGAINT FOR FUCEN CUTINGG DROOPY! AND HTEN I"D LIK KELYLU UPS AND DONW WIT NOT FUCEN TARMLA!
 

@ DB1

Man I feel raped by these selections. I feel like darksock's mom after the 5th Fleet leaves the port of Louisiana.

Since I feel I've been cheated by these 3 posers for Douchebag of the Year I'm returning your book, dammit. And I don't care if someone does see the sticky pages!

My fucking Christmas is ruined. Thanks a lot buddy. I hope you drown in your own Nightrain-laden vomit. Jerk off.

Metaphysical for the Win.
But I cast this vote under protest.
 

Droopy FTW!

Not even a contest.
 

All hail droopy.
 

In these troubling economic times, siezing an opportunity to take advantage on an untapped market maybe the only way to prosperity. While debating these candidates, it occured to me! I have a vision that one day, there will be cars using, and powerplants generating electricity, from bile. Only one of these causes that to rise rapidly in me. Therefore, my vote is for Deathtongue. I think I jsut threw up in my mouth a little...
 

While Surfer Kelly has quite possibly the greatest body to ever walk the planet, I must give the win to Metaphysical Hooligan.

This douche is the epitome of what a douche is, and Carly truly is hott.
 

While Droopy is the very essence of douche I can only picture him as a lackey. He is not the ringleader of his group of fellow douche companions that are, more than likely, standing right behind him and his "paid to take pictures" hott. He is one a gaggle of douche geese who's ringleader was still to overcome with high school related awkwardness to be in the picture himself. Droop is a follower who went to the tat parlor when all of his gangsta ilk went too. "Hey Droopy get this sweet stomach tat to cover your stretch marks" Right on bros, right on. Deathtongue as well seems to be to afraid of the camera and must make a lewd gesture to make him feel better. A true Douche of the Year must absorb and be the picture. He is too concerned with his own sweet skull tshirt and blowout haircut to care what the hott is doing or if she's even in the picture at all. He must own. He must be the alpha and the omega. Metaphysical is that douche. Look how he is almost pushing her out of the frame. "Move a little baby. I've gotta get this $150 dollar haircut into the pic so it can be my new MySpace photo" Carly obliges so that we can be full view of Stars and nipple rings. He needs us to know he is a douche. He needs to be validated, he requires that all people gaze upon his douche and say "Yes sir we bow before your douche so that we can punch your balls on the way up"
Metaphysical reins supreme this year
 

weak finalists. no way that acey douchey or mooby dick should not be here.

however, if vote we must, it is clear: droopy mcscrote.

the picture represents everything this site was made to mock: hot, toned surfer with bloated, pasty, tatooed-hand-signaling droopy. pull up your goddamn pants, sir.

deathtongue is just annoying.

the hooligan has the right attitude, but misses some of the db traits (tats, etc). carly is no kelly, though.
 

MH for HCwDB of the year
 

Droopy is a dork, a band queer, and a wanna be. Surfer Kelly is a bikini model. She has no idea what-so-ever who this ass clown is.

Therefore, Droopy is removed, thank you very much.

Deathtongue is just a college kid enjoying to many tequila shooters. But, the future Ex-Mrs. Baggenstein, Quartasian Mia Sara Hott is so fucking hot, it makes me want to jizz in my pants, oops, just jizzed in my pants.

Now Hooligan just thinks he is the cat's meow. He wakes up, looks at himself in the mirror, and comments, "Hi there beautiful...." Fuck, hit him over the head with a boat anchor quick!!! Carly Hott looks like she lives in a trailer park, but I'd still hit it.

So.................
FTW Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott!!

ASvB
 

Hooligan for the win!

Hate's a strong word, but I hate this bag.
 

Droopy. landslide.
 

Let's go Droopy and Kelly. Take out the competition with the disparity between the ab and flab.

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott.
 

I have to vote for Droopy and Surfer Kelly. Not only is she the hottest of the three gals, but the sheer disparity of her hott vs. Droopy's douche makes this amalgam the quintessence of HOT Chick with Douchebag.
They don't possibly look like they'd ever be in the same hemisphere, let alone same pic. The other two gals at least look like they have the beginnings of Bleeth in them.... Surfer Kelly? NO WAY. She is sheer perfection. Droopy's gotta somehow be famous in some way, which makes his douche all the more pathetic. Do any of us actually know who he is? No. But we enjoy laughing at his droop and stretch marks that counteract his "badass" tats and douchey jewelry.
And urban camo?? Really? You think I can't see you? Hell, I can see MY REFLECTION on that keg hanging from your moobs.
I must stop looking at it before I hand a porcupine to a blind kid and tell them it's a picture of a naked Jenna Jameson.
-Pavona
 

bravo, senor head, bravo!
 

Surfer Kelly and Droopy McScrote, it's almost no contest.

The sheer scrote-to-hott ratio is off the scale.
 

WHile I think Tighty Armani should have been in the finals rather than Deathtongue I guess I must pick from what i am given.

Metehooligans is rage inducing, but I think Droopy is the true star for the year. He is the former band geek who is now trying to be cool but got it all wrong. And Surfer Kelly didn't work night and day on those abs only to have them fade into obscurity.

Droppy and Kelly FTW.
 

Metahoolie & Carly get my vote!
 

Droopy. Plain and simple.
 

Hooligan.
 

I say, god damn this is a tough choice. Droopy, sorry dude, you just aren't douchey enough for me. And Kelly doesn't do it for me either. Yeah she's hot, but I prefer the other two to her.

That leaves me with Hooligan and Deathtonge. Dear lord. Hooligan wasn't as rage inducing until I saw his body of work. Seriously? He's fucking wearing eyeliner in the second picture. EYELINER! Nothing pisses me off more than a man in makeup. Well, except for a man doing a Beethoven type lick maneuver on Mia Sara. I do like Carly hott more than Mia. Sorry Mia, you're a really nice girl. Its not you, its me.

I mean common! How much disrespect do you have to have for someone TO LICK THEM?!?!?! And how much self hate to you have in you THAT YOU ENJOY IT. And he practically is eating her ear in the second one. Mike Tyson anyone?

I don't know what to do! I want to punch my screen but that won't help me make a decision. I think I'm going to have to jump ship on this one and go with Hooligan. Deathtonge will probably be sent to the hospital in the near future for trying to lick someone's girlfriend. That is retribution enough for me. Hooligan on the other hand. Fuck, he'll just keep doing this shit. He's the essence of douche. The Alpha and Omega douche. Yeah, I know everyone thinks Samurai Scrote is the be all end all of douche. He doesn't impress me. He's got a fucking tie around his head, that just makes it easier for me to slam his head into my desk. I'd actually have to get a grip on that grease soaked hair for Hooligan. I don't think there's enough solvent in Hawaii to get that shit off afterward.

Also, I'm pretty sure a mini-douche is about to pop out of his chest alien style from those weird ripples he's got going on. That's how douches are born you know. That or her fake tits are just THAT hard and fucking it up.
 

Deathtongue gets my vote for the win? why? it isn't just because Mia Sara is so AMAZINGLY HOT . . . no. My vote is about recognizing 'bags at their worst. . and that would be bags who could have taken the right path and chose 'baggery instead.

I mean really. . . look at Meta'bag. He wakes up, looks into the mirror, and sees that stupid star pattern shaved into the side of his face. What other option does he have at that point? his path has been chosen.

And Droopy? Probably anything is better than his life's default.

But Deathtongue doesn't have the shaved pattern head. . . His hair isn't a monstrosity like Wheatstalks and he isn't surrounded by a coalition of juiced-up fellow 'baggers. He could have taken the high road. He could have just been that normal guy with an inexcusably hot girl, that when you see out, you assume his parents must own half of Wyoming. He could have chosen the right path, but he didn't . . .

and Deathtongue, therefore, gets my vote.
 

droopy
 

Metaphysical
 

The stretch marks point directly to Droopy McScrote.
 

Droopy McScrote and Surfer Kelly FTW.
 

DT

FTW
 

Droopy is a goof, DeathTongue is a unidexter drunk.

There is only one serious choice: Metaphysical Hooligan, because of his body of work, his textbook form, and the rectal spew that is his face.

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW
 

Surfer Kelly makes me stiff enough that she can ride me like a surfboard, hanging 10 through the pipe, cresting the gnarly waves, looking upon all of God's wonderful oceanic creation, before diving in between her sweet, suckable thighs.

Droopy is a poo whale. While nature enthusiasts may find beauty in his giant blowhole and priceless blubber, I see nothing but stupid hand-bling, sagging tattoos, and stretchmarks. Free Droopy! Return him to his natural habitat, which is far, far the hell away from me.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan is an unflushed toilet on a Tiajuana Burrito farm

Hooligan ftw
 

Droopy McScrote FTW. One single picture is all it took.

I'm sorry I gotta go throw up now.
 

#1. Dropy. Droopy. Both those dudes.
 

Ripping on Surfer Kelly because she's a paid bikini model doesn't make her any less hott... Nor does it make Droopy any less of a douchebag.

C'mon, people! How can you not see the scrote that is Droopy?!?!
 

my vote is for metaphysical hooligan. as you can see in his other pictures, he has mastered several douchetypical signs. the mandana, the star in head, the stupid hand signs. he's got it all. and therefore he deserves the douche of the year award.
 

I love Death Tongues' gal, but he's not douchy enough for the win.

Droopy and the Metaphysical Hooligan.

Droopy Mcscrote can not take the win. Look at it this way, back in the day when DB1 was just a lad with a dream of suckling upon the thigh of his hot every night, only to have his hott stolen away from him, who do you think (out of the three) honestly would have stood a chance to actually steal the hott?

Surely DB1 could beat out Droopy Mcscrote who's only touching boobs with Surfer Kelly because she was paid to pose. That is of course unless we're talking about The Dirty's version of DB1. A fat, shy, monorail riding, man boob having John Denver Look-a-Like. Then I'd say "yeah, droopy could have stolen Surfer Kelly out from under DB1's ho-ho gripping hands".

But no, that is not the case. Look at Droopy. He is ridiculous. You guys like him because he's a fat, stretch mark having, wanna be gangsta. Not because he's the type of choad that steals hotts from other people because the amount of Bod's Totally Abs they're wearing, the near toxic level of Got2B Glued hair gel they have used, their unearned dog tags, and their obsession with displaying their toned bodies all working to blind poor Doe-Eyed Hotts into thinking that the Douchebag is worth being with.

The Metaphysical Hooligan is such a choad. So dedicated to a certain marketed look that he'll go as far as to shave a big star into the side of his head. I'm pretty sure he's flexing his arm there. Why else would he need his arm in that position? He's sneering in the presence of Carly Hott. He stole the hot from average guys like you and me, and he's not even smiling about it.
He'll never help her explore her interest in modern art by just taking her the Smithsonian one vacation. He'll always just wanna go to a vacation spot where he can display himself.
He'll never spend an entire night seeing how each inch of her body tastes when dipped in a chocolate snack-pak. He'll just tell her to roll over so he can flex and kiss his biceps and grunt while he gets her from behind in a moment of coitus that would make monkey sex look romantic and lasting.
He'll never have a real job with which to help support Carly and their possible kids. He'll undoubtedly try to get a job promoting events, or maybe he'll get lucky and start running a club where he'll met some college girls just trying to get into the VIP that he'll use to broadcast his "undying and insatiable" sex drive by cheating on Carly Hott with them.

These and so much more are the probable paths of The Douchebag. They steal your hot, and then they don't appreciate your hot. They are nothing but fine pieces of ass to them (Donkey Douche, I'm looking in your direction). The only one in the brackets this year is The Metaphysical Hooligan.

Metaphysical Hooligan for the win.
 

Droopy MC Scrote. His newfound fame (infamy) could help pay for a tummy tuck and a record deal, but he'll still be a raging douchewank.

Droopy For The Douche of the Year!!

-Scroatian
 

I'm pretty disappointed that neither Bra nor TA made it to the finals. I guess of the three left, MH is the winner.

MH FTW.
 

Droopy is a King! All hail Sir McScrote.
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott.

Unreal.
 

DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY DROOPY
 

Let us mourn the untimely removal of Mooby and Bra! from our perusal. Now let us move on.

Droopy is just that, droopy. No amount of smoking hottness can elevate this picture into a true classic. He doesn't inspire my rage, only a bit of confused pity. She inspires my naughty bits.

Deathtongue is a second rate doucheteer. Here, again, it is only (only?) the incredible boner inflating delectible tasty (note the douchebag tasting her?) lifted microskirt perfection that is MSQH which has brought this couple to the finals. DT stands no chance.

Behold the Hooligan. He, like Joey Porshe or the Gator, would inspire rage all on his own. Whatever hott he was defiling. He relies not upon the perfect toned cleanliness of a Kelly or the encapsulation of all that is good in one little quartasian package to express his post-apocalyptic wrongness. He asks, no begs, us to beat him senseless with a week old french roll, one of those three-foot long ones the better bakeries sell.

In short: without the cupcakes they are besmirching, we wouldn't even notice either Droopy or Deathtongue. They would pass beneath our consciencness like the insignificant insects they are. The Hooligan is another species of bug altogether. One that needs squished. That is all.

Hooligan FTW.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW -- I base my vote on his body of work.

Droopy just got ahold of Kelly for a pic while she was making a trip to the keg at a friend-of-a-friend's cousin's house party. DT accosted Mia Sara at the club because she was getting the next round while her girlfriends were in the bathroom. I'm sure they came back from powdering their noses and rescued her from his "crutches."

But one can clearly see how MH is ruining Carly. Her smile looks sweet and natural in the other pics, but in the pic for the win her face looks frozen with a forced smile. As if she knows she has to keep this up for him. Her nails are long, acrylic and painted white...a move away from her natural state into bleethdom. He is infecting her, and that is what douchebags do. They claim a hot to support their own ego, then turn her into a trashtastic wasteland of lost hope.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott. They have it all. Silicone, Shaved star, swarmy snarl and smelly, like poo.
 

Droopy/Kelly are a great runner-up as in beauty pagents in case the winner can't fulfill their obligations.

Mia Sara has incredible bedroom eyes.

But Metaphysical Hooligan's sneer deserves a brick smash followed by a Riverdance while wearing baseball spikes. Carly fluctuates between wow and yuck but ultimately is a true 100% Bleeth, .....

Metaphysical Hooligan/Carly FTW
 

deathtoungue in a landslide
 

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW.
At first, I was torn between him and Death Tongue, however, the choice became clear when I realized that, if in the unfortunate situation where I'd be stuck in the same room with MH, I would be completely and utterly powerless against his douchebaggery. While I could easily muster the resolve to pulverize the other two asshats, MH's unholy wrongness would make me immediately go into an epileptic seizure. No contest: He is all that is 'bag, and therefore needs to be recognized as such.
 

Droopy is just too much of a cartoon character, a tattooed beetle baily, a ziggy.

The toungue is a scrotum spec in the breeze, passes by and you barely notice, barely care.

The winner must be the HOoLiGan. He goes far out of his way to enforce the douche spectacle. His body of work shows us a different brand in each; a mandana douche, a guyliner douche, a star shaved headed douche. He covers all the bases, leaves no douchebag adornment unturned.

And then there's Carly Hott. And then there is Carly Hott. AND THEN THERE'S THE CARLY HOTT.

It looks to be a metaphysical hooligan and a carly hott for thee motherfuckin win.
 

Hmmmm. Indeed.

First, I think we can toss Death Tongue out of the mix. Yes, he defeated the mighty Sam Scrote (praise Jah), but although Sara Mia makes my Jabba ten hut, DT isn't that scary. He's probably just a little drunk. It's his birthday, he's on crutches and he's pressing his luck, and when I say luck, I mean tongue.

So Droopy and the Metaphysical Hooligan... The kind of guys you would see somewhere and hope not to make eye contact.

Oh screw it, let's cut to the chase. I give major props to MH for the chameleon-like nature of his douchosity. And he is most likely ten times more annoying in person. But Droopy remains consistent in the magnitude of his oblivion.

When I turn people on to this site, it is the pic of Droopy and Kelly that I typically point them at first (honorary mention to The Prompas).

No, Droopy is not classic douche in the Joey Porsche mold. But the contrast between he and the woman he is with is so freakin' extreme it represents a potential energy that could power our planet for generations.

Droop and Kelly FTW!
 

Hooligan.

I'm a girl and a Buddhist, but he makes me want to beat him with a bat and push his remains off a cliff.

The "Isn't he so dreamy?" face on the girl makes me feel pity for her (she's obviously mental) and for all other men who find her attractive.
 

There once was a vote with choices hard
To choose between fuckface or retard
Good looking babes
And dudes so lame
Hope these douches get raped in the prison yard
 

It's so hard to choose between #3 & #1 but I've got to go with 1 because of the sheer contrast between hotness and doucheyness.
 

MH and Carly synopsize this site perfectly and Deathtongue inspires all sorts of hate but then I read DB1's final advice. The key word is "wrongness". Which one of these is truly wrong?

Kelly has a smile then would win me pats on the back from all my friends, both male and female. A Hott. And next to her? Droopy. Unfortunate, sad, and rage-inducing. A Douche.

Droopy and Kelly are truly HCwDB.
 

My coworker (Chubsy McPlumperton) and I have been debating all morning, and I'm going with Deathtongue. While the Hooligan does appear to be the bigger douchebag, we are voting on the Hot Chick with Douchgebag, not the douchebag alone. Mia is by far the hottest of the hotts, and what deathtongue is doing to her is wrong. He may not look like the biggest douche, but his actions make him such.
Deathtongue FTW
 

Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott FTW.
 

Droopy McScrote, its gotta be.
 

MPH & Carly FTW.

She's gorgeous and sweet.

He's sneering and ridiculous. MPH inspires hatred and rage.

Droopy is a fluke. He is to be pitied for he merely inspires mockery. Kelly is paid to pose. Death Tongue is just harassing the hottest girl in the club.
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott. They suck that much.
 

Droopy McScrote Smells like old meatloaf yet reigns in the most delightfully supple hot in the lot. Droopy McScrote Gets no love.
Droopy McScrote IS HCwDBoTY
 

DEATHTONGUE IS OUR ORIGINAL ARCH-ENEMY, THE FIRST DOUCHEBAG WE ENCOUNTERED IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THE ONE THAT FIRST CAUSED US TO DEVELOP THE RAGE.

HE IS THE INSIDIOUS MARCH OF THE LIFE UNEXAMINED ACROSS THE SMALL TOWNS AND SUBURBS OF AMERICA.

ROBED IN ED HARDY AND SINGING ANTHEMS TO MTV PHILOSOPHIES AND POOLSIDE MONISM, IT SIDLES UP TO OUR YOUTH AND TELLS THEM TO FORGET ABOUT EDUCATION, QUESTIONS OF EXISTENCE, OF THE WORLD, OF OURSELVES. JUST LOOK SPARKLY AND BE CONFIDENT CUZ YOU LOOK LIKE THE TV SAYS YOU SHOULD. AND SMIRK AND MAKE KISSY LIPS AND PUFF OUT YOUR CHEST WHILE THE REST OF THE WORLD DIES AROUND YOU.

HIS HOTT IS THE FRAGILE BEAUTY WE ALSO KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL, WHOSE DARK AND SLIGHT FEATURES MADE HER LOOK LIKE A DEEP AND POETIC LOVER, BUT WHO WAS TRULY EMPTY INSIDE. WHO SOUGHT EASY REFUGE IN THE IDOL OF MAINSTREAM CULTURE THAT IS THE BEJEWELED DBAG.

WHEN YOU CAUGHT GLIMPSES OF HER FROM STRANGE AND MAGICAL ANGLES, YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH WHAT SHE COULD HAVE BEEN.

DEATHTONGUE AND HIS HOTT ARE THE END DAYS OF ROME.
 

Tough choice between Droopy and Hooligan. Droopy is wrong but the lack of facial fung gives Hooligan my vote. Deathtongue is just out douched.

Hooligan FTW!!!
 

Droopy McScrote FTW. Surfer Kelly is SO HOT! It's an insult he's even standing beside her.
 

Deathtoungue ftw. He disgusts me. His hott is the hott of the year, I'd hope, and he is a train wreck.
 

no mooby dick... no bra!... this is a very weak selection.. i'm going to have to vote for bra! instead of selling out to the wanna be's
 

Hooligan. His star side-head hair pattern, nipple ring, chin pubes, pierced chin, and exposed underwear prove without any doubt that his devotion to the douche gods is very strong. Droopy and Deathtongue are but baglings next to this poobag.
 

Symbolic vote for Fung, and also Samurai Scrote...how did he get "douched" out of his vote...and by "douched" out, I mean Douche.
 

Let's get my vote out of the way first: #2, Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly. But why?

Of these three, Hooligan comes closest to the Platonic ideal of what a douche is. Dude wears headbands, has the chinbeard, spiky hair AND a hair carving. And Carly, oh, sweet Carly. Just look at that second picture and tell me she's not amazing? I would pluck out my copious body hair one by one and use it to knit a pair of socks for her only to have her use them to walk on my back over a muddy puddle in the street.

So why not the others? There's no doubt that Droopy is a total choad. But he doesn't have that "everydouche" quality that the Yearly winner should exude. A yearly should be the douche that out-douches the others, but Droopy rests on the margins. Douches would look up to Metaphysical Hooligan, but they would mock Droopy. So he can't win. Plus, while I'd certainly not kick Kelly out of bed for eating crackers, she's not as hot as Carly.

As for Deathtongue, dude is a one-trick pony. Granted, it's a vile trick that no hott should be forced to endure, but outside of that, he's just a below-average scrote. Even so, he's almost redeemed by Mia Sara's awesomeness. She's so hot, she's like the old Kool-Aid villain Scorch who leaves burning footprints behind.

So, for having an amazingly hotter than hot hott, and achieving that superdouche status, the winner must be #2, The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott.
 

Deathtongue FTW.
 

HJBBAD.
 

If Droopy wins he could become a martyr for all things pud and inspire high fiber turds to douche it up in hopes of obtaining their own Kelly Hot and thus styme our cause. Droopy's facial expression has a hint of self doubt, even he is surprised that his douchal outer shell yielded such high results. The yearly needs to be held to a higher douche standard.

Compare to the facial expression of MH, this guy wants it, he owns it, watch out Fish Slap! Who knows, this guy may have even taken out Pumpy en route to the top, there can only be one. Surfer Kelly could leave Droopy at anytime and be just fine, Carly Hott will never be the same. She has been polluted from MH's inspired douchal taint. Don't let her smile fool you.

DT is a joke, no HCwDB otY would ever show a sign of weakness and go to a club on crutches. However, props for his succulent tender, Roger Sterling would approve.

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW
 

Not even a close contest, Deathtongue and Mia Sara.
 

Droopy and surfer hott represents the best of what this site has to offer. There may be douchier douches. There may be hotter hotts. But this is a remarkably odd couple if there ever was one - seeing this mismatched pairing the first time nearly made my head explode. Like DocD said in the semis, it's all about the contrast. Here it is, HCwDB at its most pronounced.
 

Without getting into a huge diatribe of douchiness, Droopy exhibits most of the defining attributes of douchedom, and Kelly, more than any of the others, epitimizes hott.

Biggest douche + hottttttttest hott = DBoTY

DROOPY FTW!
 

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW.

Tatted up slobs like Droopy flop all over the hotts here in Vegas and can usually pull in numbers and pictures while getting served up with the inevitable "does your friend have a girlfriend?" at the end of the night.
 

Metaphysical Hooligan
 

Mia Sara Hott is the stuff of dreams. I still can't figure out why I haven't seen her on a magazine cover or in a movie. I have an unhealthy obsession with her.

You might think DT isn't douchey enough to take home the prized HCwDBotY prize.

But then you notice his hair, his belt buckle, and think how wrong and inappropriate his douchey actions are. And who he is being wrong, inappropriate, and douchey to...the pure, lovely, and previously unadulterated QMSH.

He is a DB accosting just the kind of girl I'd like to marry - and that's what this site is about. DT must pay.

And by pay, I mean be remembered forever as 2008's Douchebag of the Year.

DT FTW.

AV
 

Droopy McScrote and Surfer Kelly
 

too much metal on one body, stretch marks, underwear show, horrible tattoos, and the guy STILL got dressed and thought "na, i dont need a shirt, i look sexy"

if droopy doesnt win, ill move to rural madagascar, and give up the internet. i dont want to live in a place where the epitome of scrote isnt recognized as such.

also honorable mention to kelly's golden globes....yum.

go droopy!
 

i voted for droopy in the semi finals but i can't bring myself to endorse his curveyness again. Carly hott is just far to hot to be left to MetaDouche. Maybe it's the nipple piercing that makes him douchier, or that he has proved to be a master of the douche wardrobe. Droopy simply hopes for hotts to take pity upon his droopyness and ugliness to give him a courtesy pose. Comon, no one actually thinks that kelly would go down on him.

Carly Hott for HC and Metaphysical Hooligan for DB of the Year
 

Metaphysical. Droopy I just feel sorry for, but MH makes me rage. Deathtongue is just a frat choad.
 

Without question: The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott
 

Droopy wins by a country mile.
 

Droopy 2008!!
 

Droopy McScrote for the win.
 

I'm split. Droopy should be the winner but he not your prototypical scrote. If that the case then Meta should be the man. But something always brings me back to Droopy. So this years selection is: #1 Droopy McScrote
 

Droopy inspires more sadness than rage.


Therefore, I cast my vote for The Metaphysical Hooligan.
 

Deathtongue!
The epitome of a Hot Chick with a Douchebag.
 

The award is for hot chick WITH douchbag.

Note the two elements, and which one precedes the other. It ain't Douchebags with Hot Chicks.

In other words, there are two elements to the award. The Hott is just vital to the coupling as is the DB (and some could argue the most important element).

While Deathtongue is slightly less douchetastic than his competitors, Mia Sara Hott simply is in a different league than the two other moderate hotts. A sublime beauty prevailing over two slightly above average looking, moderately Bleethed skanks.

So, in my view, the combination of the two make Deathtongue and Mia Sara the HCwDB of the Year.
 

Deathtongue's hott has me all stiff in the britches so that's where my vote goes.
 

MH and CH gets my vote....while surfer kelly is mouth watering hot...droopy is just fat. Death Tongue and quartasian just dont do it for me either. That fucking look on MH's face makes me want to travel back in time and run over the three wisemen with my time traveling DeLorean. Then I would dress up as a wiseman and show up at the Inn on christmas day. I would come bearing three gifts, none of which would be mur, gold or frankenscence. I would bring a dirty diaper, a set of poker chips and Blades of Steel for the NES.
 

I look at Droopy and feel kind of sorry for him -- Kelly is not his Hott. I think she may even be on the clock. The astonishment level is high, but the infuriation is low, at least for me.

And Deathtongue could easily un-douche himself with some shampoo and a quick t-shirt change.

The Metaphysical Hooligan is the biggest douche -- the most irredeemable scrotebag of the group. He is incapable of anything but douchiness, from here to all of eternity.

This site is about singling out douchebags -- how could anything be douchier than a runway soul patch with a stud through it, a star shaved into the side of spiked hair, a nose-ring style nipple ring, fake dogtags, a lame earring and a smirk all attached to a pert, stage four silicon bleeth ever lose on this site?

The Metaphysical Hooligan is this site's ethos, embodied in the form of an actual douche.

Theretofore, he gets my vote.

Do I think he is the douchiest guy we have seen this year? No. But when it is broken down in this manner I must stick to the tenets of douchedom that have made this site what it is.
 

Droopy McScrote has got to by the weiner.
 

droopy is not that much of a douche. an ass clown, yes indeed, ass clown of the first order, but basically he's a fat nerd dressed up in a costume. plus his hott looks like she's wearing the cocktail waitstaff uni from rehab, so he's not really a hot chick with db as much as hot chick momentarily next to db.

hoolie is a grade A prime black angus douche. probaably already being talked about in douchedom as an up and comer, somebody they expect big douche things out of. but carly, althoughn ot quite at the point of no return, has pretty much resigned herself to be bleeth.

so for the win, its got to be DT & MSH. MSH is fire, i dont even know how this douche got next to her.... god im pissed.
 

Your choice, Comedy or Tragedy?

while Droopy is pictured with Surfer Kelly, I don't really believe he's "with" Surfer Kelly, and thus fails to fill me with any real rage.

The Hooligan has stuff shaved into his head, this should not and cannot be allowed to stand. But If i saw this guy in person, i would more likely laugh them vomit.

Deathtongue is real. If he had taken his douche-ness to some kind of extreme comedic level we could laugh and move on. But it's is every-douche nature that really fills me with a burning hatred.

Deathtongue FTY
 

Tough choice..
First off, how is Samurai Scrote not in the finals???

Droopy makes me laugh and Surfer Kelley??...well, I'll let you guess.

All of the nominees have the proper Douche/Hott ratio, but
I don't think the HCwDB of the year should make you laugh..he should make want to to throw the Wii you just bought for Xmas right thru your 1 year old $5000 60" Plasma HDTV.

Metaphysical Hooligan makes me want to do that ( the wii being his head) and use a suitcase Nuke and detonate it to make sure I didn't miss anything.

Therefore...its Metaphysical Hooligan FTW
 

As hot as QMSH is, for true embodiment of all that is hott/scrote I have to go with Droopy FTW.
 

#2...very easy choice. The girl is Kelly from Houston...damn shame.
 

I'm torn between Deathtongue and Metaphysical Hooligan. I'll get back to this.
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott...FTW
 

I vote Surfer Kelly for ORANGEST ORANGE! Dammit, reopen the category and deflate the Millenium Bag, because Surfer Kelly is the clear winner. I'd like to put my board on her roof rack, take a trip down to Black's beach, and stare at saggy, naked, old men together.

But Carly Hott is just so darned cute and the choade is so rank, that I have to vote her and her man in as HCwDB of the year.
 

The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott!
 

I can't believe how many votes there are for Droopy. Common, he's a dorky fat man at best. He pretends to be a gansta, and -knows- he's pretending. A real douchebag would actually be convinced he IS a "hard ass gangsta/hustla." You can tell he knows she's only being paid to pose with him. He accepts this, this is why he's not trying to dry hump her in the picture. -A hott alone does not a douche make.- And the stretchmarks are what puts it over the top for some of you? STRETCHMARKS?!?! Hell, I HAVE THOSE. I will be severely disappointed if Droopy takes it.
 

#2: Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly FTW

Wow. Toughest decision yet. Droopy is an amazing specimen of douche, but the terrible shape he's in makes him more of a freakshow-type anomaly--a real loose cannon of body odor. I think he should win some kind of award, but he's just too strange and singular to take HCwDB of the year.

So that brought it down to MH and DT. Good god, this was a real clash of the titans. Whenever I see the Deathtongue photo, I want to start breaking things. Plus, Quartasian Mia Sara is hands down the hottest girl in this competition, and as such she is really boosting DT's chances... BUT I cannot escape the fact that Carly is hot as well, and that she is standing next to one of the biggest, most posturing ass-clown douchebags I have ever seen. The Hooligan has every douchebag trait in spades, and the disgusting smug expression on his face leaves me feeling furious, queasy, depressed, and bewildered all at once.

What really sealed it for me was when I realized that while Deathtongue looks drunk, The Hooligan strikes me as someone who is a douchebag completely sober, and out of habit. Hell, we have two undeniably foul photos from other occasions to prove it.

The Metaphysical Hooligan just seems so impressed with himself. What an asshole.

Hooligan and Carly FTW!
 

Metaphysical Hooligan FTW
 

droopy. Hands down, no question, that guy needs to be castrated
 

Metaphysical Hairball, without a doubt. Droopy's a DB FAIL and deathtongue's just....yeccch.

Now I'm gonna go drano the taste out of my mouth.
 

God, I fucking hate this decision, but I've got to go with Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott.

The only reason I could vote for the other 2 would be simply because they have better Hotts.

Deathtongue is a waste of skin, and Droopy is clearly a semi-retarded colostomy bag, but neither of them embody the level of Douche that MPH does. You know this turd nugget gets up in the morning excited to see himself in the mirror.

So, definitely, it has to be MPH. No other option.

'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
 

Droopy is just too douchey to be denied.

McScrote FTW
 

Tough tough choice but I have to go with The Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott
 

Surfer Kelly is IMHO the hottest of the hotts, but my vote goes to Metaphysical Hooligan and Carly Hott.
 

After the great injustice of Bra falling out of the race, the trophy goes to Droopy and Kelly. The only pair truelly worthy of the big prize. Droopy is hideous by the pound and Kelly oh-so fabulous with boobies so fine.
 

Oh, to choose. All three choices have their virtues. Droopy is, well, pretty freakin' droopy. And Surfer Kelly is oh so hot.

The Hooligan is super douchey, though his hott doesn't compare to the other two choices.

Then we have Deathtongue. He's certainly a douche, and his hott is super-mega-ultra hot.

But alas, we must chose.

And unlike Walter Donovan, I shall chose.... wisely.

While his hott is the least hot, his douchosity is transcendent. He has douchey head hair, douchey face hair, douchey face, douchey nipple ring. The guy is just one big, walking pile o' douche.

Hooligan FTW. Welcome to Douche Immortality, you rotten chode.
 

Droopy McScrote, RIP Bra
 

droopster makes me laugh.stretch marks on his gut just kill me, i thought that only happened when you got pregnant?i think kelly works at a bar and was just doing her job so he's out. QMSH is smoking, but hooligan has been cultivating this look for a while.it takes work to get a fucking star carved into the side of your head, and premeditation.i'm still amazed someone would seek out this hairstyle and pay for it.this year not as good as last, but hooligan ftw. may god have mercy on us all.
 

Droopy. It makes my eyes sad to look at that picture.
 

It's gotta be Metaphysical Hooligan. It's gotta be.
 

#1, Droopy.
 

#1, Droopy.