Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Regs on 'Mas vaca?
DB1 haikus alone,
Purg Hott still loves me.

# posted by

Douchebag1 : 8:06 AM

Frustrated with life
Nub is sick of the party
He's here for laundry

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:08 AM

Nub wears suit and tie
Impress the judges he will
Wait until next year.

# posted by

Mike : 8:08 AM

Blond hott's pouty lips,
Reveal her disapproval.
Nub will sleep alone.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:09 AM

Neither looks happy
Guess the sex wasn't too good
For kissing cousins

# posted by

plinky : 8:09 AM

Reese Witherspoon hott,
Why must you hang with this douche?
You're Legally Bleeth.

# posted by

boatbutter : 8:10 AM

Blondie just found out
The stupider his haircut
the smaller his dick

# posted by

plinky : 8:11 AM

Regs sleep in today,
Blair gets posted by default.
Christmas comes early!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:11 AM

Sorry DB1
Big snowstorm comes to Mass
White is distracted

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:12 AM

Nub anticipates
Douchebag of the year winner
Then we hope he dies.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:12 AM

No haiku last week
Confounded the regulars
Caught off-guard today.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:13 AM

Laundry room party
Drunk santa and toga girl
Nub ruins Christmas

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:14 AM

Nub, Merry F'in
Christmas, now let go of my
future wife douchebag

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:16 AM

After the divorce
Reese's new dating prospects
Are not promising

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:17 AM

UMLC? Strange.
Dressed-up douche gives angry stare
Whilst Santa 'Bag looms

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:17 AM

Now we finally
See what Medusa's trusty
Laundry gimp looks like

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:18 AM

THS MOHWAKE FAGOATH@
MAKES ME WNA TO #SHANK HIS AHSS!
PRETYE BLOND TAMRAL!

@2

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:18 AM

Guy in back: "Hey Nub,
move over, need to see if
santa suit is dry."

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:19 AM

Crucial, you're correct
But he's misbehaving here
His future is bleak.

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:20 AM

Grinch lurks in the back
With thumb stuck in Nub's rectum
Nub, furrows his brow.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:20 AM

Laundry themed Christ-
mas parties are all
the rage nowadays.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:21 AM

Santa dares the Nub
To chug bleach alternative
Later, blue vomit

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:21 AM

Maybe it's just me
But I'd totally make love
To that hott brunette.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:22 AM

Flag pin, suit, Miller,
Douche hawk, scowl. Nothing but class
At the laundromat

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:23 AM

"Nub, you giant douche,"
says girl, "You said formal wear,
not wash and wear, jerk."

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:23 AM

I can't help but think...
Lawnmower man got a trim?
Santa security.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:24 AM

Christmas party for
The Victorville McDonald's
Went well for the Nub.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:24 AM

Nub resembles guy
From Shaun of the Dead, except
Nub is NOT funny.

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:25 AM

Guy in back: "What the
Hell are you people doing
in my laundry room?"

"I need to wash my
knickers, I'll be late for the
Christmas festival."

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:25 AM

Just getting here now.
Stinking drunk but fight over
The road woke me up.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:26 AM

Nub couldn't afford
A keg for Christmas party
Stores beer in dryer.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:26 AM

Nub put on a tie
Plastic cup for Miller Lite
Santa stole his date

# posted by

George S : 8:26 AM

Photo doesn't show
Utility sink dancers
Dripping wet with Tide

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:27 AM

Nub's angry stare says:
"If you hit on my date, then
no Bounce sheets for you."

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:29 AM

Nub is not happy
Bad interview at Wendy's
She wants fries with that

Aerodynamic
Nub hair less wind resistance
Reese hott not impressed

Nub's colon does hurt
Diverticulosis bad
Reese is not amused

Reese is stuck with Nub
The universe is not fair
God rolls dice with Bra

Smile Reese, do not pout
Candycane is in my shorts
Merry Christmas Nub!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:29 AM

Nub is pissed because
He forgot to bring his coins
Now washer won't work.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:29 AM

DB1 drops 'ku?
bodega is not open
No Night Train and puffs

I will help the cause
Just bought 2 copies of book
makes great Christmas gifts

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:29 AM

Where the pfuck is pfah?
Or 'sock, bcs, or Troy?
It's quiet in here.

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:30 AM

From this, I can't help
But think Secret service has
Let their standards drop.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:30 AM

Santa's little Elves
Threw kegger when St. Nick left,
Elves are douchebags too.

# posted by

plinky : 8:30 AM

Santa's big reindeer
Pokes blonde's holiday stocking
Nub unhappy elf.

# posted by

George S : 8:31 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:31 AM

Nothing comes to mind.
Am out of haiku practice.
Harder than it looks.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:31 AM

"Oh Christmas Tree, Oh
Christmas Tree, of all the bags
Nub is most scroatey"

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:31 AM

Force not strong with Nub
Tiny penis makes me laugh
Yoda better hair has!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:32 AM

If I squint my eyes
I think I can see blonde hott's
Stiff areolas.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:32 AM

For a minute there,
I thought lady in background
Was wearing toga.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:32 AM

@crucial

Nub is pissed because
He forgot to bring rubbers
Now her puss won't work.

# posted by

plinky : 8:32 AM

Hard to write haiku
When Sam Scrote is on same page
DB1 fucked us

# posted by

plinky : 8:34 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:35 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

George S : 8:35 AM

Tarmal tarmal scrote
Nub is really Flyteeth, yo
tarmal tarmal douche

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:35 AM

Shouldn't laugh at nub:
That's not a lame mohawk, it's
A surgical scar.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:35 AM

The hair on his head
and the hair on her vulva
are one in the same.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:36 AM

How to get hot chicks?
Get drunk and wear Santa hat.
"Yer hair smells purty."

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:36 AM

@crucial

To help with nip slip
I used red Sharpie to draw
them right on my screen

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:36 AM

Young Republican's
Christmas party this year is
Somewhat depressing.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:36 AM

Nub is no Bra!, bro
Bra! laughs, swigs tasty cola,
The Pibb refreshes!

# posted by

George S : 8:37 AM

Nub is a RINO
Flag pin is a Chinese fake
Reese stiffed by Santa

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:37 AM

Douche unto Others,
I think Nub used her vuvla
To mold his hair shape

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:37 AM

There ain't no party like a laundry room party♫

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:38 AM

Someone pissed in cup
While nub was looking away.
Sprite with "additive".

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:38 AM

Hey Plinky, why is
Your mom's Christmas tampon string
Hanging in the back?

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:39 AM

I AMN NOT FUE NUB!
BLOOD ON WALLS #, LBOND GIR NAKID
IF THAT HEWR FOYTHEETH!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:39 AM

That's a purdy mouth
Squeal like a pig, boy! Whee! Whee!
No wonder Nub frowns

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:39 AM

choke this mistle toad
with strand of yultide bulbs
nude toga poo poo

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:40 AM

Nub's Mohawk envy
Not soothed by blondie or beer
Tiny two inches

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:40 AM

Nub is very mad,
Mom shrank his boxers, should've
used permanent press.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:41 AM

Reese's pouty lips
Have assumed position for
My Christmas "bonus".

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:41 AM

Reese regrets her choice.
Natty, Miller cups, flag pin.
Nub constipated?

PS. Does Natty Light
poster say nat-a-licious?
I want one of those.

# posted by

Unknown : 8:41 AM

Hair larger than his
penis and his scrotum bag
Reese disappointed

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:41 AM

mad British actor
office party degraded
into laundry room wash out

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:42 AM

In my fantasy
the blonde and background brunette
dump Nub, get busy

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:42 AM

I am not Flyteeth
I don't type with my penis
What a damned wanker

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:43 AM

White asks right question.
He has nothing else to do...
Why is Pfah not here?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:43 AM

substitute his beer
with a toxic blue dose of
fabric softener

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:43 AM

Reese Witherhott sneers.
She smells the Axe and douche-poo.
It's time to trade up.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:44 AM

Black dress and cleavite;
Black suit is cleave-worthy, he
Should be cut in half.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:45 AM

Fret not, Nub. Taking
a picture won't steal your soul.
Didn't start with one.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:45 AM

Popov vodka is
shaken, not stirred from the
agitate cycle.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:45 AM

Closeout sale at Ross....
A quick trip to Super Cuts....
You cant polish a turd

# posted by

Tag'em and Bag'em : 8:45 AM

Existential doubt
Nub ponders all that is real
Comes up with a blank

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:46 AM

didn't see before
that Old Glory lapel pin
GOP enraged

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:47 AM

I do not like blondes.
But she keeps making that look.
Might make exception.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:47 AM

nice tie douchebag nub
is it clip on
even clear cup is weak

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 8:48 AM

I am the Eggman
Nub is the walrus douchebag
Reese blew Ringo Starr

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:48 AM

Previous statement
Was harsh, maybe instead give
Paper cut to tongue.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:49 AM

Flyteeth prison rape
Use vaseline on anus
ouch ouch ouch ouch ooooh!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:51 AM

Guess I can't blame him -
My hair would have a chubby
If I was with Reese.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:52 AM

under "Caption Pix'
should have wrote
"Hell's Christmas Party'

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 8:52 AM

Alicia Silverstone!
Why wasn't this couple in the Douchie's voting?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:53 AM

NUBE IS @A HATER!
YOURE FDJUST JELAOUS YO UCN TYPE
WITH OYR DIKC FAGOATH@!

#j2891
8329Y~!!

#4

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:53 AM

Douchies are over?
Really? So soon?
Is this all there is?

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 8:54 AM

Hey Crucial, because
Chinese laundry would not take:
too goddamn bloody.

# posted by

plinky : 8:54 AM

Douche holiday bash
in studio apartment
nice side-boobs poster

Reese Witherspoon hott
you can do better than Nub
run away with me.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:55 AM

Santa scopes my girl,
Cup is always half empty,
Not the optimist.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:55 AM

I ask Mr. White:
What did he give her that leaves
hair gel as discharge?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:55 AM

Holiday douche bags, winter brings
They Drink with blonde hott by Tide
Can't wash douche away.

# posted by

Sponge : 8:56 AM

mohawk and a suit.
young punk republican douche.
for her the night sucks.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:00 AM

Straw-blonde in black dress.
He's blonde, but with difference:
His is made from straw.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 9:00 AM

Scope the chick in back -

She's just finished her laundry.

Let's throw him in, too.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:00 AM

At Xmas party
Confounded Nub wonders why
She thinks he is gay.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:03 AM

Douche Unto Others:
He makes her eat his hair gel
Until she secretes

# posted by

Justin C. : 9:05 AM

Pfah just killed himself
Sehawks season was too much
Did a Curt Cobain

I console his wife
By going to Nub's party
to do her laundry

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:06 AM

How tall is the Nub?
Remember, hair adds an inch.
Now he's five-foot-two.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:10 AM

Pfah is dead? God no!
What am I to do? He still
Owes me fifty bucks!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:13 AM

"Who invited this twat in the suit to my college dorm room party?"

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:29 AM

O scowling caveman
no douchie for him this year
should have shown his abs

Reese tries to smile
but lame date at laundromat
makes her want to cry

The Santa Lurker
licks his lips and says to Reese
"I'd pee in your butt"

Nub hears this and frowns
his bladder is now empty
in cup, not her butt

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 9:34 AM

Nub from the Mail Room/
Windsor knot; cleans up quite well/
Reese at a crossroads.

# posted by

Zen Wizard : 9:34 AM

Dude from Mad Max flick
had son and gave same haircut
Like father like douche

# posted by

plinky : 10:31 AM

Instead of Haiku, I'm going to use the older Classical Tanka form:

5-7-5-7-7 instead of 5-7-5

Nub with Miller cup
Not half full but half empty
Reese will not get laid
Santa has an erection
But will still do laundry load

Arigato gozaimasu, bitches!

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:28 AM

A golden angel
descends from heaven just to
wipe ass on Nub's head

# posted by

creature : 11:41 AM

Frat party turns dark.
Bleeth dead and nude in basement.
Nub spends night in jail.

# posted by

Cr8ium : 12:37 PM

Surly Nub does pout
His fifteen minutes of fame
Ends with this Lite beer

# posted by

The Dude : 1:13 PM

Vader Pfah is gone
and so is your fifty bucks
Next time COD

Maybe Pfah's not dead
Nub scares the shit out of him
Makes him think of self.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:24 PM

@B.A.G.
Pfah is still alive.
I just checked the other thread.
Does he fear the 'ku?

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:43 PM

Clean cut mohawk. Oy!
Nub's trust fund in Ponzi scheme.
Reese pouts -- no yacht trip.

# posted by

Count Douchekevitch : 2:22 PM

wearing three-piece suit
in small apartment party?
nice going, douche burners.

that being said, her hair
outshines the sun, moon, and stars.
hit Nub with rebar.

# posted by

Steve L. : 8:10 PM

Not to worry, but
the rest of Nub's hair got lost
in the spin cycle.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:24 AM

Nub frowns as he re-
alizes he's the Leader
of the Laundromat.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:29 AM

Reese and Nub have such
Clorox-clean hair it makes their
blacks look much blacker.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:42 AM

If they're looking for
a White Christmas, Tide, Wisk and
Clorox-2 will work.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:45 AM

It MUST be Mister
White's basement, he knows about
the tub sink hotties.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:52 AM

Lights!-Christmas stringers,
Camera!-SMILE, party-poopers,
Action!-wash, spin, dry.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:00 AM

"I'm gonna wash that
man right outta my hair, and
send him on his way!"

Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II from South Pacific

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:03 AM

Bleaching first, then rins-
ing with beer, is the secret
to full-bodied hair.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:08 AM

"Pardon me," said San-
ta, "but I need to wash chim-
ney soot off my suit."

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:27 AM

Somebody got coal
in their stocking at the frat
house Christmas party.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:31 AM

Nub is "Old School" Ar-
my bag, wears cunt hair to hon-
or the old cunt cap.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:35 AM

After deliv'ring
toys, Santa likes to dress his elves in clean black duds.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:40 AM

After deliv'ring
toys, Santa likes to dress his
elves in clean black duds.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:42 AM

"Deck the hair with bleach
and gel," he fa-la-la-la-
la, la-la-la-lahed.

"Tis the season to
be silly," la-la-la-la-
la the Bleeth did nod.

"Don we now our dark
apparel, la-la-la,la-
la-la, black's so mod!"

While they sing a yule-
Tide carol in the laundro-
mat with Santa Rod.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:00 AM

Up on the rooftop,
my ass, Santa is doing laun-
dry, not bringing toys.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:05 AM

Santa made great GAINs
washing out poo with ALL the
yule-TIDE CHEER he had.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:16 AM

String a few lights, stroke
a few hotts, launder a few
douchebags, it's Christmas!

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:22 AM

The Nub's head in hand
bear I, adorned with Bleeths and
dingleberries, aye!

And thus be decked with
a gay garland, with L.A.
Works and cum-shot high!

Caput!Apri Day-
Fair, OH! red cup, load up on
Miller Lite-io!

The Nub's hair, as I
understand, is the douch'est
hair in all the land.

And thus be decked with
a bleached garland, and honed with
cleavite Bleeth-io!

Caput! apri Day-
fair oh! Redneck laundromat
wishy-washy, ho!

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:55 AM

As the new dawn break
Nub's haircut is hard to take
Such a lonely world

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:30 AM

Clown monkey in hat
Got a whiff of bleeth's meat pie
reminds him of zoo

# posted by

plinky : 10:37 AM

Last night whoop-di-douche
Sat alone in front of screen
Wrote 'kus for two hours.

# posted by

Count Douchekevitch : 11:00 AM

Poor WDD
Beat seasonal affective
disorder: go out

# posted by

Count Douchekevitch : 11:03 AM

Whoop-di-douche was out
all evening at choir rehearsals
and felt like haiku.

Whoop-di-douche has spouse
and rarely goes out alone
for entertainment.

Whoop-di-douche works all
day on commercial art and
gets douche-time at night.

Whoop-di-douche likes peace
and quiet at night and cat
keeps me company.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:45 PM

Ever thought of re-
naming this Japanesey weekly "Friday Hai-poo?"

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:50 PM

What's with the rhyme-liner???

Again,

Ever thought of re-
naming this Japanesey
weekly "Friday Hai-poo"???

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:54 PM

If you have wondered
Why I never post haiku:
I just suck at it.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:53 AM

Nub looks so confused
His face contorted oddly
"Who jizzed in my beer?"

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:31 PM

Oh crap, this guy looks just like a guy I graduated high school with - that was 19.5 yrs ago.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:47 AM

Fuck nub Im tierd of seeing his stupid face he's like the towl boy for all douches.. Whipe that shit eating scowl off your face nub get some real hair gell and some douche tags you suck donky douche dick biatch

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:55 PM

Friday, December 19, 2008

Friday Haiku

Hot Chicks with Douchebags Google Search:

About Me

Hot Chicks with Douchebags FAQ

Hall of Scrote

Hall of Hott

Ass Pear La Plante

Hall of Pear

Closet of Poo

Purg Hottie

The Future Ex-Mrs. DB1

Pumpy

Samuräì Scrötę

Hall of Mock

archives

Links