What the hell is up with that dudes teeth? They came out with this new thing called the toothbrush, try it sometime. Blondie on the right is being blown away from this guy just from the shear force of his breathe. Nasty.
 

Is there a separate legal term for a guy-girl team date raping a vomit-covered, unconscious third party? Because I feel like it's about to happen here.
 

well that guy has to be british with teeth like that. my god. unless he's wearing a mouthpiece from Baron Von Goolo's Fright Town.
 

The Courtney Love clone in the white halter dress looks like she just hurled. Is that drool on her chin?

The pointing chick looks like she's about to put her finger down Courtney's throat to induce RALLLLLLPH again.

The bag reminds me of the old joke, "How can you tell the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas? Anywhere else and it would have been called the 'teethbrush'!" Nice shade of yellow, douche!
 

Sorry on this one ... but where's the Hott? I'm just not seeing it on either of these slags.
 

What's up with that chick's thumb...ewww...
 

What a pussy. Where's the pierced tongue? Can't take pain, wuss?





On another note entirely, these women are not good looking and Frankie Munitz should be able to score much better skanks
 

@Ronald
Nice spot on the thumb. It looks like she forgot to take it out of her ass before she sat down and ordered her 18th Flamin' Eddie.

Those aren't teeth. That's a corn cob!
 

Left blonde is 1/8 Predator
 

It's nice to see he preys on drunk chicks. Class all the way.
 

I didn't even notice that chicks thumb, what the fuck is that shit! All three of these clowns belong in a fuckin' circus sideshow.
 

This one makes me feel icky. It's like a pre-crime scene photo.
 

Lemon Drop rounds: $40
4 crushed Roofy tablets: $52
Life without parole for statutory rape conviction: Priceless.
 

OMG!!! What is wrong with her hand?!?!??!! That is unnatural!! It's probably what made the one in white pass out!!
 

Left skank is flashing the latest bag/bleeth gesture. It's called, "I got so drunk that I repeatedly slammed my hand in my car door. While trying to drive drunk."

A catchier title is in development.
 

Girl on the right, you're going to need this. [hands her my card]
 

Passing out girl's fake eyelashes are falling off. Too drunk to notice, too sloppy to care.
 

If the undigested peanuts in my shit could pose for a photo, it would look exactly this.
 

That's funny... the chick in the black has the same.exact.pose as the new Jenna Jamison doll I got in the mail last night.
 

Olivia's legs shot out from under her as she stepped in what appeared to be a hot wet pudding-filled cloth sack.

Lurking in the background, the Poo Sock Ninja watched his handiwork with malicious glee.
 

@plinky

I hope it's only the pose. If the doll's general appearance matches her, then I think it got melted in transit. Get a refund.

Or get the Erika Bunny model from the video below. The pros: She moves around talks, almost like a real human. The cons: She talks.
 

@ MR. White...

i believe the term you're looking for is the

"I'm Rick James Biiiitch!!!"
 

Look, Dustin Hoffman is a closet douche.
 

left blonde is, sadly, a veteram of "The Thumb Wars"...
 

Jake, the gold-teethed barback at Hollyrock, klunked the two blonde heads together like hollow coconuts
and from the gaping mouth of bleeth #1 sprung forth Eddie, the animated spermie who gloriously burst into song and dance on top of the oak bar.


Next show is at 1am folks.
 

@ Beatrice...

no, Dustin is an observant male.
 

Loudmouth and Slippy found a date for the night-- Yellowtooth Mandana.
 

EVNE GUSY IN COUNTY HAV EBETTER TEEHT THAN @2! FUCEN GFAGAOTH! AN I NOW AOBUT TEETH!Q

TARMAL!
 

@ Mr. White

I don't know if I can get a refund...

I used pfah's credit card number.
 

Tarmal my large green cock you must, Flyteeth.

Try? There is no try. Only do.

Good it is!

With your tiny penis you must no longer type.
 

Blonde in Black (wendy): Before your very eyes I am going to spit this tablet of megadosage of DMT into cindy's mouth and get her to swallow it by licking her tonsils. she's SO fucking hammered on booze right now that she'll be completely bamboozled by my hot lesbo kiss. The DMT will hit in about 2 minutes and within 30 seconds of that the cilia in her large intestines will have control of her visual cortex. Then Gootch - the big dummy behind me here - will carry her to my place where we will put her in a barcalounger and strap a tripnotiser to her eyes so by the time she comes to out of the DMT blast in like an hour she won't notice as the tripnotiser will be flickering her retinas into submission. This will cause her bowels to violently loosen, which is great, 'cuz that's what we feed Gootch.

Blonde in White (Cindy): holy fuck Wendy - your arthritis is getting really bad - and you need to clean your fingernail - it's got a booger in it.

Gootch: BLAAWAHAHAHAAA BLUH BLUH BLUH!!! BLUH BLUH!!! GOOTCH EAT POO SOON!!!!
 

Not Leo Burnett's best work...
 

The Olsen Twins meet Nosferatu!
 

Shes mouthing the word HELP the one in white is so disgusted by this human stain shes gonna puke
 

@massengill

right blonde is at least 1/8 retarded.

and Tommy Two Tone Teeth in the back is 8/8 douche.

This is why i prefer to flirt with the 19 year old hosts at the restaurant i used to work at. They're so stoked that an older guy (27) is in to them that they general moisten up at the lightest touch. And i get them before they turn into the bleeth that will inevitably come around age 21.75.
 

10 out of 10 dentists recommend this toolbox jump off a bridge.
 

That landing strip of his is lethal...

And could someone prop up the poor girl on the right. I think she is only a couple seconds away from making contact with the cold floor. Even if she is a bleeth, she doesn't deserve to come face to face with the floor of that bar. Who knows what is on it...

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

@ buffy

we all pay for our sins, one way or another.
 

I'd say by the look of the blue tarp that Toothy has over his shoulder, they're prepping to dump white-dress blondie's body very soon. Unceremoniously into a ditch.

I'm with Buffy... if his teeth weren't bad enough, that chin pube stripe is the topper.
 

Just another Saturday night in Utica.
 

Is leftwing hott sporting a minor load of choad on her tongue?
 

@ Douchelexic @ 8:34

Ahhh, reminds me of my single days. I managed a restaurant back in the 80s in a small college town. Hot and cold running girlies, and BillDouchiest was one happy swine! I was 25, they were 18 and 19. The only thing that could have made those days better would have been if they'd heard of the Brazilian!
 

@ bill
yeah I quit like 2 weeks ago and broke up with my girlfriend at the same time, and these young girls have been calling me almost every night. it's amazing.
 

All's I'm saying is that White Dress is going to wake up tomorrow soiled with the aftermath of a Utica Chalupa, which is a lively mash-up of an Alabama Hot Pocket, a Cleveland Steamer, a Rusty Snow Plow and a Saskatchewan Sasquatch Salad Shooter.
 

@darksock

again with the throwing up in my mouth...so much for that apple fritter this morning.....
 

I have a feeling they are going to find her stuck to seat 47 on 509. That's right, shrink tubing and a hairdrier...just like a Telefunken U-47. You'll love it.
 

Once Shaggy had his first taste of Meth he left the Mystery Machine and never looked back...
 

Gotta lurve the drunk chix.

Fuck Fung.
 

@ Douchelexic @ 9:20

Chicks dig the Turbo Trans Am, eh? :)
 

That may be the first ever HCWDB reference to a vintage German microphone.

I'm with whats-his-name... no hots in the photo.
 

WRONG

Wrong on at least 12 levels, 72 different countries, and 4 continents.

More wrong than Darksock's mom in a yellow speedo doing beagle porn.
 

You know chick in white had it all planned out...the dress was sure to keep all the attention in the bar on her, the makeup was classy, and the fake eyelashes added just the right amount of flash. She looked at herself in the mirror before going out and said something like "Fabulous!"

Too bad it didn't work out that way.
 

The definition of "hott" certainly has degraded over the last 7 entries, hasn't it?

This guy's face is actually generating an always-on tractor beam that only attracts other people's fists.
 

This is like the nightmare before Christmas. He must be the ghost of neglected oral hygiene.
 

@Troy Tempest

Sounds like a great plan, but with one tragic flaw. DMT is not orally active. Alas.
 

All Hallows Eve revelers upon exiting Baron von Gooloo's "House of Horrors & Zombie Bags"
 

Looks like he bought his mandana from the same store as the Metaphysical Hooligan. The guy in this picture actually kind of looks like the Hooligan.

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/06/sunday-thugmani-exchange.html
 

Why are they re-enacting the shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald in a bar?
 

White Drunk Skank was out of her league before she left the dorm; if you're going to wear a fuck me dress, make sure that both your bra cups and straps are covered. Nothing screams white trash more than your cheap Walmart bra being your major accessory. As for left whore, the last time I saw eyes that dead they were on a possum I swept out of my garage. I think that poor possum could've beat this VD machine in most cognitive skills tests. But then again, this is what happens when you date your meth pusher.

Just pour gas on all three of them and light 'em up. The warmth their immolation would provide to the other patrons of that bar would easily be the greatest societal contribution this trio could possibly achieve.
 

@ Douche Vader 10:18

Good god, man, your words cut me to my soul, exposing somthing that had lain dormant for over a decade.... The thrill of the evening out, the anticipation of dressing up, making your best "sexy face" in the mirror, with the pleasnat buzz of the first drinks of the evening already upon you. Getting the lipstick just right. Sashaying out the door.

And then, three days later, you see the photos.

And you die a little more inside.
 

@Medusa
Is there is a male equivalent to this? When a guy gets dressed up, goes out, and gets bombed, complete with pictures, we kinda sorta look back upon it fondly. "Hey yeaaaahhhh, I vaguely remember that moment. Heh. Boy, was I smashed. Sweet."

Well, unless you get into a drunken brawl. Then you wake up the next morning and wonder why your face and ribs hurt. Somebody shows you the polaroid. "Oh."
 

It's like a giant Pez dispenser, but that's not Pez she's spittin' out. (wink wink)
 

@ Medusa

For a guy, I can tell you, when we see the "Day after" pix, we get a leaden, sinking feeling in our guts, and the thought blossoms like blood in milk: "OH FUCK I'M GONNA GET ROASTED FOR THIS"....then the phone starts ringing.
 

the chick on the right looks exactly like marilyn monroe after bobby kennedy's boys were done with her.
 

Mr Browntooth is wearing his detroit community college (The Fighting Race Riots) class ring.
 

As part of the class action lawsuit, Garrett displayed his dental rot and Bethany showed her curiously symmetrical fungal tongue polyp, both of which resulted from only casual use of the Courtney Love sex doll.
 

Why do I feel like this is the opening scene from a snuff flim? Someone get the girl in white a chair before the drugs kick in!
 

Is it me, or is the hott in white about to blow chunks?
 

Douche Vader said...

@Troy Tempest

Sounds like a great plan, but with one tragic flaw. DMT is not orally active. Alas.

It's NOT? Fuck. Smoking it is such a nasty thing. OK. Fine. Then how about 500 mg of Ketamine Hydrochloride?

That'll knock her back a few miles.

The problem is, it's anaesthetic, so Gootch won't get fed...

Sigh.
 

As part of his oral hygiene program he uses Crust® Brand Douchepaste
 

@Troy

Not necessarily. Ketamine is often used in anesthesia preparations, but it's technically a dissociative, leaving its users conscious, but with a feeling that they are not inhabiting their bodies. If anything, she's even more likely to pinch a loaf right on the dance floor. Or anywhere else.

(I dated a veterinarian for a while.)
 

Ketamine would be the more subtle way to go, but if you're really in a hurry, I suggest ether. Sure, she'll struggle for a little while when you jump on her back and put the rag over her face, but after that? Easy money. Not the easiest maneuver to pull off in a crowded bar, but I believe in you.

And come to think of it, that might be the first justification I've ever heard of for keeping a mandana around.
 

@Douche Vader

You just have to be sly about it. "Oh dear, you got a little frosting on your nose, here, let me wipe it off for you." Then you don't have to do the whole jumping on her back thing. By the time she realizes what's happening she'll be on the floor, which would probably go unnoticed in a bar. Smile at the bartender as you leave carrying her, assuring him you will get her home safely and that she just had a bit too much to drink. No one will be the wiser.

What? My family is in the mob, I'm supposed to be able to think of this kind of stuff...
 

@ Ashfish

That was highly specific.
You sure there's not something you might want to talk about with the rest of us? Huh?
We're here for you kiddo.
 

@plinky

If I told you then I'd have to kill you.





Just kidding! I have an incredibly morbid sense of humor. At least I don't act on it like some of my other friends, had a friend who would stab, hit, and bite you just cause it was funny.
 

It's Christmas, not Halloween. Cocaine is a helluva drug.
 

@Ashfish
Actually, jumping on her back seemed like the funnest part of the whole equation. Anybody can be subtle about drugging a chick in a bar, but it takes a true hero to blatantly tackle one, submit her, and drag her out by her hair. Heck, at that point, you might as well tie her to the hood of your Chevy for the drive home.
 

@ Ashfish

That's not funny. Not funny at all.




Chopping your legs off and beating you with them is funny.

Then using the blood from your exposed arteries for Bloody Mary mix is even funnier.
 

@plinky

I'm not a Bloody Mary fan. I'd rather sick a rabid dog on my exfriend, shove her in a garbage can after dousing her with lighter fluid - after she has come to so she knows what's going on of course, set her and said can on fire, roll her down a San Franciscan hill, take out the ash and other remnants, ferment for a few months to a fine alcohol, then make her into a "Trashey Women."

Because that is the kind of drink such a friend deserves.
 

@Douche Vader

But isn't that just like any other night in Alabama? It's probably a Ford down there though.
 

He looks like he just took a huge bite out of her neck and sucked down a couple pints of blood and is now letting her fall to the floor.
 

@Lulu 7:31
Thanks for the laughter fit.

I want to see the day after where girl in white wakes up strapped to a wooden chair at a long dinner table, douchedanna smelling her hair, suckling her fingers. Her blond screaming from the basement.
 

ho on the left looks like a sluttier version of jennifer garner. just throwin that out there.
 

i think this thread was originally supposed to be dedicated to FLYTEETH. because if there's one pic featuring people who would actually speak like Flyteeth in real life, this must be it.

but i must say, this thread has taken on a new life of its own. this had been a very badass conversation. well done boys and girls. so Ashfish if your badassedness is what kept the douchebags at bay, why didn't you say so earlier? :D
 

...and the train wreck continues.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heatherstarlet/
 

@Steve

Ha, you make me laugh. You're the first person to characterize that as "badassedness," and not "fucking crazy bitchness." Apparently I give off this "innocent" and "nice girl" vibe, and when I start swearing like a sailor and getting into morbid details people get scared and confused. I don't understand where the "innocent" and "nice" thing comes from; I can only assume I've gotten just that good at fronting for clients that it spills over into other areas.
 

"heather starlet"

If by "starlet" she means "will soon be using the side of my face to warm the toilet seat in a bar" then I agree.
 

I just dont FUCKING UNDERSTAND. What...why...who the fuck THINKS THIS IS COOL?!?!?! Really? You think its awesome that you're bending over with no panties on while some guy lifts up your skirt as you make out with ANOTHER guy? Honestly? Do you have any self respect left? Just an ounce maybe? You think it makes you hot to flash your boobs in front of guys? Here's a tip, guys will ALWAYS look at a free show. It doesn't make you special, it doesn't make you hot, it makes you a fucking s-k-a-n-k. Where's the bleach? I need to clean up.

"Slutty, its the way I live"

More like "Being slutty, it's what makes me a walking STD petri dish."
 

It looks like Jesse Jamesbag brushed his teeth with a snickers bar.
 

wow.... what a trainwreck!
 

This is a good example of how certain rituals don't stand the test of time. In the 50's, you could wear a white gown like Marylin Monroe and no one would bother you. Today, you get raped by a roadie from "Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch."
 

uhhh is that a tab of E on her tounge?
 

This is why we need a category which I advocated some time ago:

BLEETH OF THE YEAR.

I would put heather starlet pretty fucking close to the top of the pile.
 

@Troy
Try chloroform.
It's easily made in your kitchen.
 

I also think this is one for the weekly. This just stinks of such utterly rank poo, it's hard to fight.
 

Yeah, but the point is to give Gootch something to eat. He eats poo, and chloroform, IIRC, gives you constipation.
 

Ashfish @5:43...are you describing Medusa's blogging lifestyle? Cuz it sure sounds like it.

Sorry Medusa, your postings are very witty, but the lifestyle behind them, bleethed and skanky.
 

AH, the Club Life, same lifestyle that Casey Anthony pursued at the time she supposedly offed her toddler.

Only a jury well tell for sure, but the evidence is telling in the meantime.

Chloroform, indeed.
 

He has meth mouth, alright already.

Left-she has pierced tongue, aka another hole in her head, and white furry-tongue, A.K.A. thrush.
Ewwwwwww! A yeast infection in her MOUTH!!!!!(or a partially melted white pill)

Right-she is "plasters to the rafters" stinkin' drunk as a skunk.

The smell of POO emanating from the MOUTHS of young'ins' means but one thing:

This picture is bass-ackwards. and THAT, as DB1 says, is curiously wrong as an Altoid up the keister.
 

Ok, forget the chloroform, forget the ether, hell, forget shooting this slut with an elephant gun. No more jokes. Run. Run like the possibility that your genitalia WON'T burst into flames depends on it. Run fast, run hard. Somali pirates aren't as aggressive as some of the things in this chick's cooter.

Admittedly, this girl probably gives fantastic head. But when she's done, there will be nothing left. "She swallows" takes on utterly new proportion. This ho was on the Atkins diet before there was such a thing. Protein shakes are for amateurs.

All those jokes about how her thumb got that way? Yeah. Nice try, ladies and gentlemen. Truth is, your twisted, sick, and perverted imaginations couldn't BEGIN to tell the story of how her thumb got that way. Suffice to say, not only would her insurance not perform the procedure to fix it, but Western medicine denies that such a condition even exists.

As was said at Jerry Stiller's roast, I wouldn't fuck you with Bea Arthur's dick. Pfah would, but not me.

One last thing. One hundred, bitches.
 

She's holding a black clutch handbag, so it's qhute possible the thumb only seems distorted because it is being bent backwards and pushed due to her holding the clutch.

Use your visualization skills to derive this scenario. I'd worry more about her crazy ass behavior with the other two than her teeth
 

one or both of 'em are that dixie chicks singer
 

@ Anonymous

You mean the fat one? Wouldn't surprise me.
 

Guess that guy didnt hear that ecstacy doesnt brighten teeth.