I'd pee in her butt.
 

As Todd on the left described his felching sessions with Cindy and Bruce this morning, Biff on the right recalled with horror that he'd just smooched her balloon knot in the previous photo.
 

I'll $134 that her farts have more bass than theirs do.
 

Hrm, there's a curious display of douche on douche masterbation happening in the background. Notice the degree to which mandana douche enjoys scrote-eating-grin douche's digital stimulus.
 

Baby Jesus weeps.
 

note the #2 asshat is that a buffalo stance
 

I'll take that bet. Because don't think you could hear their farts. For the same reason you can't hear air passing through an 8" duct. You might hear a faint "WHHHAAHHFFF" sound and feel a draft of slight humidity accompanied by the smell of rotting man-seed, but you won't hear anything.
 

I just want to spank her.

And by "her" I mean my lap taffy.

brb
 

What happens next? I put my foot through the monitor.
 

is it a kissy move or is it a smell my fingers they have been in man ass move ?
 

What the hell is this? I log on this morning and there's a FIVE PART series?!?!?! Douches and bleethes every last one of them. You do not take that many fucking pictures like that and not be some variant of scrote.

Is the bag on the right trying to keep the other one from fondling his package? Cause at least then I could maybe sell this picture to get some funds to laser off the part of my brain that contains the memories of these pictures. I guess it's only fair he get some lovin too since it looks like he took a cum shot to the head and now his hair is all fucked up.

Let us hope the beverages contained in those bottles are sterilizers.
 

That thing in the green bikini is not hot. Too short, and with thunder thighs.
 

What is she going to do with all of that junk?
 

in 5 years, that ass will have blown up like the Gulf War.
 

What will happen in Part 4?...

Hopefully Plinky's mom will sit on them.
 

In 5 years that ass will blow up like Paris Hilton's cell phone the day after her sex vid went viral.
 

After the guys each took a hit off the new soft drink sensation, Jizzz soda, they all broke out into a euphoric state of excitement and glee and declared,"We were such fools to ever think girls were cute! C'mon boys let's go drink some more of this Jizzz and loufa each others' bums!!"
-------------------------------

@darksock

No more "Todd" jokes, please. Todd is the coolest name for a dude EV-ER. In fact if you and the missus ever have another child and he's a boy you should name him Todd after your favorite blogger at HCwDB.com.

Just a suggestion.
 

In 5 years that ass will blow up like Michelangelo Antonioni
 

PART 4: Spoiler Alert

Green Bikini Girl loses 75lbs.!

She cuts off a leg.

L8tr,
SPURS FAN

ps. I love cock!
 

I'd tap green-bikini's ass like 20 sober geek fraternity boys tapping their first keg.

That's right, it would take me about 30 minutes to figure it out how it works then I'd still fuck it up by not penetrating and locking deep enough until finally nothing but foam comes out.
 

The "t" in your "L8tr" is redundant. Asswipe.
 

When a chick wears bikini pants with the wrong volume/coverage ratio, it just makes her already huge ass look huger.

I recommend the design language of WickedWeasel as infintely more fine-tuned; -for complete Bleeths or Sweet Paprika Twins, as the case may be.

Regards.
 

guy all the way on the right is making the same face you make when you pull off a just-filled condom and the contents accidentally fling like a catapult into your partners face. in his case, ramon's.
 

ATTENTION FELLOW 'BAGHUNTERS:

we're in the news again on the front page of TMZ. looks like another lawsuit.
 

This is a vital public service you're performing. Keep it up.

Fuck Fung.
 

here's a link.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1118082douche1.html
 

@Wonky, wow, I had no idea bathing suits could be so...tiny...I dunno man, waves + no support leads me to believe that would be a bad idea for anything besides lounging around for your boyfriend.
 

"5. Defendant JAY LOUIS...whose physical residence is unknown..."

What, did he go into hiding? Which guys is suing him anyway?
 

Green bikini says:

All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.

I look lumpy,
but I ain't makin' money, see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.

Now gather round
I'm the new Bleeth in town
and my food's laid down by the Ground Round.

I drink up all the Miller Lite ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with am Umpty.

Yo douches, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the trust fund wanks out here--please allow me to bump thee.

I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when your flaccid cock pumps me.

I like to rhyme,
I like my farts funky,
I'm spunky. I like my man juice lumpy.

I'm sick wit dis, straight Rehab crap
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll go down on your thirteen-year-old brother Chris

Hey yo fat douche, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny
But in 5 years I won't fit into a Mini

I'm a freak
I like the guys who push a broom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I'm crazy.
Allow me to sedate thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' wallets out of bags' pants
and I even got my own dance


The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do a cocaine bump
 

when will it end? any lawyers read this blog? what kind of chance do these lawsuits have in court?
 

I say DB1 counter-sues.
I say DB1 sues everybody!
 

I'm not a lawyer (although I've played one on TV) but I do remember from constitutional law in college that a case must be brought against someone within that someone's jurisdiction. DB1 lives in California so I would think that makes him immune from being sued in Nevada.
 

@ bcs: They don't stand a chance*









*I'm not a lawyer, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.
 

i just pictured amanda with librarian glasses and a tight form-fitting pants suit screaming objection and my gavel got excited.
 

no kidding bcs. damn! that's a nice mental picture.



and now my jury is hung.
 

@ mr. white

Thanks, now everyone in the office is looking at me.
 

I played a donkey cock on TV once...
 

I'd cross-examine Amanda's rusty sheriff's badge!

- Dewey, Douch'em & Howe, LLC
 

I would think since the publishers got the rights to the pictures from the people who took them that the issue really resides with the picture takers rather than DB1 or the publishers. AFAIK once you buy the rights to something, or acquire said rights via some other agreement, you can do whatever you want with the pictures. But what do I know I'm from Kona and things are very backwards here :p.
 

would that be " a-man-duh ?
 

@ amanda

By your syllogism I couldn't sue Kraft if poisoned macaroni & cheese killed my family because I live in Ohio and their headquarters is in Illinois.
 

you had poison mac & cheese ?
 

does anyone know how to get syllogism out of a pair of cotton boxers?
 

@massengill

Kraft is a business and conducts business in your state. That's the difference.
 

I'm suing pfah.
 

@massengill

Good point, and by point I mean, you could still spread her legal eagle by demanding discovery of her legal briefs via due inter-course.

- Spurs Douche
 

No ! Kraft owns the Patriots & thats the difference
 

@pfah

Don't lie. We know you don't wear cotton boxers. We know you wear your grandmother's wig for underwear.
 

Wee man flexed in almost all of the pics. Poor guy...it's all he's got [pat pat pat on his wee man spiked head].
 

Then I guess if any damages are awarded it will come from the publisher since it is a business and in jurisdiction.
 

@plinky...your link didn't work for me. now i am sad. and you'd be amazed how warm and toasty a wig keeps your junk.
 

@ amanda

And simon & schuster doesn't conduct business in Nevada?
 

Amanda is correct.
 

Green bikini bleeth deserves whatever std cocktail these douche-nozzles are packing.
 

@pfah

what link?

try putting some cream cheese on the wign before strapping it on. That way when the wifey gets home you can give her a warm and toasty 'bagel stick.'
 

Pfah,

Is that Mr White in your avatar?
 

@pfah

Yeah, put it on the 'wign' too!
 

@anon 11:32

No that's amanda in her role as Lebowski.

"The Chinaman peed on my rug!"
 

@mr. white

Thanks for that...it brought a tear or two.

And I think I just got syllojizm from looking at that big bright green booty. I mean, how could you miss it.
 

nope. it's The Dude.
 

@Ronald McDouchenald

I never said they didn't. Read my first post. I said that DB1 lives in California. From what I remember of constitutional law, private parties can only be sued in their state of residence. Businesses can be sued in whatever state they conduct business.
 

"What will happen in Part 4?..."

Considering we are losing an average of 1.58742365 Hot Chicks per frame, the algorithm that I have formulated yields that "What Happens in the Next Frame?" is something similar to the Annual Cleveland Kielbasa Festival.
 

Using a reverse shocker of one in the pink and two in the stink. It seems that beta doucheclown wants to wear a hitler mud douchstache
 

Also, Dude, 'chinaman' is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
 

Attention choades in this photo series:

Please sue Jay Louis so bcs can get your names and we can have even more fun at your expense.

Signed,

Management
 

Let me guess... #4 will show these four in a sit-on-the-shoulders pool fight?

These tiwts are leaving DoucheTown and heading towards WhoGivesAFuckAllVille
 

You think the carpet-pissers did this?
 

@ amanda

right, but the question was: "what kind of chance do these lawsuits have in court?"

NOT

Will DB1 be found liable?

But you do make a good point, let's kiss and make up.
 

Well Amanda has proved I am stupid. I guess I'll just stick to looking pretty.
 

SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNIE YER OUT OF YER ELEMENT!!!
 

@Zen wizard, man, I think that bout of laughter is gonna get me canned but it was worth it. We'll have a full blown gay porn on our hands by part 5. And by "blown" I really do mean that they'll be blowing each other, and by "porn" I mean seizure inducing pile of rapidly flailing and posing douchebag poo.

Our county parades give a prize to the best "poo picker-uper" float that travels behind all the horses (it's a long tradition thing I won't get into). I wonder what kind of reward is in store for the poor soul who has to clean up the space these asshats occupy.
 

The "alleged" douchebag looking for an easy payday-----errrrr, ahhhhh, ummmmm, I mean bringing the lawsuit appears to be wearing (in the offending photo) an Aeropostale/Abercrombie-type polo with the collar popped.

He just lost. Case dismissed.
 

It's true. I'm a douche. I just can't deal with the fact that now if I don't turn my hat straight, take off my mandana, unearned dogtags, guyliner, and lower my collar, that people will call me a douche. Why? I thought that stuff made me cool, and the ladies drool?

I'm gonna go cry in the corner now. The douche corner.
 

Well the libel can only stand a chance in court if they prove that Jay published the pictures with malicious intent, which is very hard to do, so that has a low chance of standing. The same goes for the intentional emotional distress. The other three have a chance, but if anything it'll be settled out of court.
 

First of all, i may have missed it, but in case I didn't, here's the douche's myspace:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=46901622

Second-
Amanda is correct. You must sue a person in the jurisdiction where they live. Naming Jay Louis the person, as opposed to however he has the site and his income incorporated is a common mistake, but it gets DB1 off the hook.

A large corporation is usually incorporated separately in multiple states.
 

@ massengill
"The "t" in your "L8tr" is redundant. Asswipe."

Damn Massey, that was me! I was outside mowing my yard and did not have time to login.

Thanks, I feel violated, hurt, and afraid. Now I'm gonna name my next child Todd, just to piss you off.

ASvB
 

Go ahead and sue Jay Louis. The dude eats cereal for Thanksgiving dinner and wipes his ass with the neighbor's cat because he's so poor he can't afford toilet paper.
Do you really think any douchebag is going to get anything more than lint and herpes from Jay by suing him?


No offense DB1. Just sticking up for you man.
 

DB1....

please post #4 soon. i feel like i am stuck in an episode of Law & Order here.
 

@ASvB

Hey, hey, hey ... watch it with the "Todd" jokes.
 

In light of all the discussion of the douches' sexuality, I direct you to this.
 

the pics were from amanda's camera!!!!!

thanks for spoiling part 5...
 

@amanda, great, now i feel dirty and have to take a shower. fucking douchebags. can we please stop with the male on male package grabbing? im talking to all of you here because i've seen it all too often. when i was in high school the common greeting for boys was to grab each other's nuts as hard as they could. i don't understand.
 

Those pics weren't from amanda's camera ...they were from her VAGINA!!
 

@Ronald

I did not show parts four and five. I did not give away the plot. And neither does this picture.
 

I agree with ashfish. Hell, I grab my own nuts enough when I'm.....uhhhhh, hey, don't throw me under the bus here.



Guys?

Hello?
 

What. In. The. Hell?
 

AMANDA!!!!!

Holy crap, your links are almost up there with those of bcs.

Almost.



Excuse me while I wash out my eyes with power steering fluid. Hey, it's close at hand.
 

Thanks amanda, if I wanted to watch 'Bromeo and Julius' I'd go to San Francisco.
 

@plinky 12:06, If you were here I'd grab your package for that comment, oh and thanks, I pissed my pants and now I have to walk around pantless for the rest of the day.


Amanda, are you DB1?
 

@ Pfah,

I just got online.... I'm feeling Frisky!

@ Amanda, what are you saying?
One may sue any person, no matter what state they reside.

All you need do is file in the county, or parish of the person you are suing.

@ Plinky,
You should be happy I'm naming my next one after my first son, Todd Plinky. I luv you son, hope you are doing well.

Sorry, I haven't been around, I am FedExing you some Legos as we speak.

ASvB
 

well, at least we know that the douche in the white sunglasses has an oral fixation problem that's bigger than our national debt.

no matter if you have a vagina or a penis, his mouth is on it. even the poo poo place isn't safe.
 

It's ok wheeze, you won't get penalized for self nut grabbing. Unless we get penalized for self tit grabbing but that's a different topic all together.
 

@amanda

That's amateur stuff. bcs and his buddies have photos of themselves doing anal chugs in church.

The fanny lancers you're showing us are at a beach. That kind of stuff is expected at the beach.
 

"self tit grabbing" = "ashfish slap"?

(Sorry.....)
 

@ Douchelexic.

You beat me to the punch. In a previous (douche) life I worked with Mike. Guilty as charged.

I would submit some pics to really get the sharks/blood in water thing going, but this isn't Teh Dirty.

All you 'hunters need to see are readily available on his MehSpace: http://www.myspace.com/michaelminelli
 

"One may sue any person, no matter what state they reside."

Incorrect. A court must have jurisdiction over a defendant, which only occurs in a private party's domicile, e.g. state of legal residence.

You can sue a private party in all 50 states, but 49 out of those 50 will not have jurisdiction so your lawsuit is a waste of filing fees.
 

@ASvB

dad will you take me to the whore-house again, like you did when I was 8 and lost my virginity?
 

@ Amanda

Who do you hang with?

Your friends are Douchebags!

ASvB
 

i call bullshit on your last comment plink. i have been to thousands of beaches and have never seen a group of douchebags fake-fellating each other.


of course, maybe that's because i've never been to the Jersey Shore.
 

This also reminds me of one of those times when my roommates and I took a shower and then rubbed lotion all over each other and danced around in our new wedge shoes and playfully smacked each other with towels. We're so silly and nubile. We even filmed it. Hmmm now where did we put that video? Silly DB1, did you take it?
 

Please, God, no more. I can't take any more, I'm going to fucking kill myself - this can't stand.
 

anyone else find it odd that both of our female participants so far today have flowers for their avatars?
 

@wheeze AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! no need to be sorry that was fucking great, and as a side note I'm ganking that from you and using it.
 

seriously DB1....put down the Ho-Hos and put up the next post please.
 

OK, warning: this is Amanda's photo link. One of them, anyway.

I don't know what's in their drinks nor if the sun baked the Axe bodyspray into their pores, but didn't backwards hatchoad consider that his buddy's junk was once RIGHT THERE?

Not that I care, really, and the comedic value of that moment where this realization hits (say, when he tastes the loose curly) is golden.....but damn, he's still presumably male, right? As is the frat boy grabbing fake dong's ass. Right?

These questions will not plague me tonight, but they should be answered.
 

Fock All Yez!

Signed,

Michael Minelli
Aka Las Vegas Douchebag
 

@Ronald McDouchenald

No, I am not DB1. I have never met DB1 in person.
 

@ashfish -

You're welcome. : )


@Amanda -

You're not DB1, but now you're an accomplice for taking these photos. Then again, isn't a little controversy useful to one's career in Hollywood? Best of luck. ; ) Heh heh.....

Recommendation: more hotts, though. For the children (AKA us).
 

@ ambulance chaser

Exactly as a stated in my brief counselor.

File in the county of the person you are suing.


@ Plinky

Next weekend, I'm taking you to experience the "Glory Holes" located on America's greatest highways.

ASvB
 

@ Amanda, 12:21 PM

Have you ever met DB1 not in person?
 

Ok DB1 - Next please!
 

So, on Michael Minelli's public MySpace account,he lists his AIM name. Interesting for someone worried about his public image to be giving such things away over the Internet, isn't it?

If he doesn't think he's a douchebag, he should guess again.
 

What a complete fucking tool!
 

@Don't wheeze

You apparently missed my Jane Goodall comment.

@Adolf

Not sure how someone meets someone but not in person.
 

God damnit and now he's grooming his sister into being a bleeth. SOMEONE STOP THIS MAN!
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/53/l_e18cd345f06740a2b84d8d88cbdaebc0.jpg
 

I met DB1 in 1994 in the AOL chat room guysseekingguys
 

@Amanda
I am physically sick over that photo, you have crossed the boundry of good taste, good job!
Turdacious
 

Amanda,

I saw it - I was just teasing you a little. Besides, she's DBE, not DB1. ; )
 

I'm frumpy
My booty looks dumpy
 

didn't like what i had for lunch anyways, so now i can start over.
Turdacious
 

@ adolf

Sorry. I thought it was signed "spurs fan" and I just reacted
 

The guy who's second from the right, his nickname is Deuce. That's the gospel truth.
 

@Amanda, 12:41 p.m. -

Life imitating art? I wouldn't mind flushing him and his broheims.
 

'Deuce' or 'Douche'...

That was easy! *presses button*
 

My nickname is Deuce
 

green bikini slut readies to pull douche train.
 

Amanda how do you know all this? You send db1 these pics or something?
 

her ass pose indicates that she's fuckable but not model-worthy.

does this mean i'm placated about the fact that her Alpha Doucheclown is probably banging her as we speak? NO.

just felt like throwing the obvious out there.

now all we need is someone bearing the nickname "DUKE." who's it gonna be Amanda? *nudgenudgewinkwink*
 

You know what, Amanda shows some pictures of Green Bikini in another post, and she is a stone cold hottie!

Go Green!
 

Great.

Thanks for all the pic links. I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight.

The pics are an immortal tribute to his douchetastic fuckery. They're nothing less than what I'd expect from a recent UNLV grad with a BA in Psychology and Hotel Administration.

And a minor in Italian and Music.

I'm sure daddy is a proud, proud man.
 

@ashfish 10:56am: waves+tiny bathing suit == wait, what's the problem again???

Wickedweasel's group of dedicated Contributor customers seem to love the fit just fine, and aren't in the least bit worried if their suit gets blasted off by a wave.

-even the cute ones like Anita
 

turn it aaahhhhhhhhhfFFFFFFFFF!
 

Christ I think this is the saddest thing I've ever seen. Even sadder than those little Somalian kids with the flies crawling on their eyeballs. Really, it's sadder than that.
 

Asshat @ 10:34 strikes again

That dude just won't quit!
 

Amazingly, they weeded out the one-in-four hott who wants to make a porno
 

http://gawker.com/5092144/alleged-douchebag-sues-over-portrayal-in-hot-chicks-with-douchebags

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Looks like the site has a lot of support!

DB1, you genius! Ride this shit out, all these lawsuits serve no greater purpose than to give you further publicity.

May Douchebags like the subject above bring you nothing but further success, and bring themselves nothing but further just misery for their douchetrocity.
 

i think we should all file amicus briefs in the courts where these suits are brought. i will do mine in the form of tommy the rock opera with my lyrics pertinient to the goings on
 

Nothing lke an environmentally friendlsy piece of ass all decked out in green.