Monday, November 17, 2008
"Cooties Are Real"
Once, when I was walking down the street, I heard a strange young voice cry out to me.
"Cooties are real."
I stopped and turned. I was standing by a schoolyard during recess.
A young girl, maybe nine or ten, stared at me through the fence. Her eyes had the fixed gaze of someone offering a somber and life-changing warning.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Cooties are real."
She repeated her intonation in the hushed whisper of revealing a tragic, yet important, well guarded secret.
I wasn't sure how to respond. Which cooties? And how did she know they were real?
Then the girl handed me a small, folded picture, through the black chain-link fence. As soon as I had it in my grasp, she turned to run off and play with the other children.
I turned over the folded picture and opened it.
It was these two beachgoing choadwanks, and their Bleethed out ladies.
It was true. The girl was right. I had to spread the word.
Cooties are real.
Comments:
<< Home
FIRE IN THE HOLE, THE LEFTIE IS GONNA BLOW!
I spy something rainbowish...oh yeah the 2 fagocytes to her right
I spy something rainbowish...oh yeah the 2 fagocytes to her right
# posted by 
: 11:03 AM
: 11:03 AM
that poor bastards forehead is having a hostile takeover of his skull.
nice ink, Wang. you look like a retarded peacock.
well, hello ladies. let's get you out of those binding clothes, and into mr. white's plastic-sealed room of love.
nice ink, Wang. you look like a retarded peacock.
well, hello ladies. let's get you out of those binding clothes, and into mr. white's plastic-sealed room of love.
# posted by : 11:05 AM
: 11:05 AM 
It's Captain Right Angle Jaw's little brother Smitty and his mishaven, receding hairline head.
Here you see him cuddling with his Asian boy-toy Sum Yoo Cum Chug and ... ... ...
holy crap that left tit is mesmerizing.
Here you see him cuddling with his Asian boy-toy Sum Yoo Cum Chug and ... ... ...
holy crap that left tit is mesmerizing.
white guy kinda looks like Mark Linn-Baker from Perfect Strangers but all juiced up
# posted by : 11:06 AM
: 11:06 AM
So there's Asian Guy Fieri, a doucheier Corey Feldman, and two moms who shop at "Forever 21". That titty's so fake I wouldn't be surprised if that bikini top was sewn right onto it.
And where the fuck are they? Looks like they were getting ready to pain somebodies living room with all those white paint sheets down.
And where the fuck are they? Looks like they were getting ready to pain somebodies living room with all those white paint sheets down.
Real is to cooties as fake is to:
A. polka-dot boobies
B. these choads' college degrees
C. polka-dot boobies
D. all of the above
A. polka-dot boobies
B. these choads' college degrees
C. polka-dot boobies
D. all of the above
I actually feel bad for the girl on the far right who seems to be wearing an unflattering one piece and is clearly hiding herself with that hat. Even she thinks these douchelgangers are an embarrassment to society.
True story: A buddy of mine and I were walking down a peaceful side street in Easton, PA--we were visiting the Crayola factory--when a large, menacing homeless man shambled toward us. Being good New Yorkers, we subtly-but-quickly altered our path to give him a wide berth, but he corrected his course as well. Just as we passed him, he said, "Don't worry, fellas. It only gets worse." We don't know what, specifically, he was referring to, but his dire prophecy has haunted us ever since. Is "it" these guys? The Dirty? Spurs Fan? I just don't know.
I don't know what ate Dita Von Teese, but it just shit all over left dude's arm.
For some reason I'm getting a vision of what would happen if a big tit mated with an A-10 Warthog nose cannon and Hello Kitty.
Maybe Marlboro Choad's forehead is pulled back because the small asian woman behind him is dry-fisting his butthole.
For some reason I'm getting a vision of what would happen if a big tit mated with an A-10 Warthog nose cannon and Hello Kitty.
Maybe Marlboro Choad's forehead is pulled back because the small asian woman behind him is dry-fisting his butthole.
@pfah
Technocolordouche is Korean not Chinese. Somewhere in the back room of her nail salon his mother is crying.
Technocolordouche is Korean not Chinese. Somewhere in the back room of her nail salon his mother is crying.
lol @ darksock & pfah.
How are you gentlemen? Still holdin the line in the epic struggle against baggery I see.
It's good to be back.
How are you gentlemen? Still holdin the line in the epic struggle against baggery I see.
It's good to be back.
@ mr. white-
he was referring to the state of pennsylvania.
BTW next time i fly, i want pink polka dot seated next to me in the event of a water landing
he was referring to the state of pennsylvania.
BTW next time i fly, i want pink polka dot seated next to me in the event of a water landing
@amanda...i stand corrected. thank you. i hope you had a nice weekend.
@turner and douche...damn good to have you back sir. Plinky did his time, and is back in the fold as well. we're getting the band back together!
@turner and douche...damn good to have you back sir. Plinky did his time, and is back in the fold as well. we're getting the band back together!
# posted by : 12:03 PM
: 12:03 PM
I love living in PA. We're close enough to go laugh at the New Jersey and New York bags, but we lack the night life to attract many of them. Although what's really funny, to me at least, is the fact that they visit Lancaster (Amish Country) for vacation. They actually want to be here. And most of them have never seen a cow in real life before.
Amish Country, eh?
that reminds me...
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
that reminds me...
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
# posted by : 12:09 PM
: 12:09 PM
Ah yes, Amish country. Where rain storms are the only showers the Amish will ever take. You don't know road rage until you've driven behind an Amish horse and buggy for half an hour doing 5mph because there's too much traffic on the other side of the street to pass them.
lol @ darksock Hey, didn't you ever see "Oz"? What happens in the slamma stays in the slamma!
ps. I bought him for two cigs and a razor blade.
ps. I bought him for two cigs and a razor blade.
That guy on the right is actually flexing his muscles while holding out a pack of cigarettes.
F*** YEAH, CIGARETTES!
F*** YEAH, CIGARETTES!
# posted by : 12:19 PM
: 12:19 PM
That's a fake titty, right?
Men, help me out here.
Also, it's really cute how the guys are almost embracing.
Men, help me out here.
Also, it's really cute how the guys are almost embracing.
@darksock
For some reason, your comment made me think of Blade Runner:
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Giant titties on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched an A-10 Warthog nose cannon mate with a boob in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain..."
For some reason, your comment made me think of Blade Runner:
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Giant titties on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched an A-10 Warthog nose cannon mate with a boob in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain..."
@darksock
I'll have you know that T&D was my top earner in the joint.
Sure he had a sore jaw every night, along with a sore {{censored}} but so what! He survived didn't he?!?
I'll have you know that T&D was my top earner in the joint.
Sure he had a sore jaw every night, along with a sore {{censored}} but so what! He survived didn't he?!?
I would gladly give up my ample day's pay to switch places with a pool/cabana boy at one of the more popular douche sites in Las Vegas for a chance to do some damage.
My thinking is like Commander Amherst to the Huron Indians, I would hand out smallpox infested towels, gladly asking "One towel of two , Sir ? "
I would politely decline all tips and when they asked me why I was wearing a gas mask I would state , "I have the flu and don't want to transmit it to my Brah's, Bro'".
My thinking is like Commander Amherst to the Huron Indians, I would hand out smallpox infested towels, gladly asking "One towel of two , Sir ? "
I would politely decline all tips and when they asked me why I was wearing a gas mask I would state , "I have the flu and don't want to transmit it to my Brah's, Bro'".
For some reason that pic reminds me of my breakfast....I ate half a Cantaloupe with a glass of milk....strange.
# posted by : 2:14 PM
: 2:14 PM
i love how the white guy and his awesome rings(probably found in a lucky charms box) are ever so gently caressing his douche buddy.
when you put this pic right above volleyball hots it just takes the hotness factor away and leaves a great stinking pile of douche.
or maybe i'm too much of a leggy sporty chicks kinda guy.
or maybe i'm too much of a leggy sporty chicks kinda guy.
Like stray cats will shit and piss in sandboxes and sand volleyball courts, so goes douche-bleeth couplings settling into beach/pool/boat settings.
This is accidental HCWDBs because those two are gay-douche.
Flotapokaboob - I don't know what to say. Sometimes I like cartoonishly round boobs. Reminds me of the crush I had on Druuna back in college when I couldn't get laid and had to decide between the Penthouse and the Heavy Metal.
Stupid Heavy Metal.
Flotapokaboob - I don't know what to say. Sometimes I like cartoonishly round boobs. Reminds me of the crush I had on Druuna back in college when I couldn't get laid and had to decide between the Penthouse and the Heavy Metal.
Stupid Heavy Metal.
# posted by : 6:41 PM
: 6:41 PM
Now I'm trying not to objectify women as sex objects here, but sweet corpulent jesus would you look at that boobie.
What exactly is going on with Baldy's shorts? Is he trying to hide the woody he's sportin for Long Duck Dong?
Me thinks these MILFs can do better than a retarded Korean peacock fag & 'Roid Man....
Hey pfah, I need a favor from you & your mad Photoshop skillz to make me an avatar (I lost a bet w/ scumbag619) so holla at me if ya get a chance...
Me thinks these MILFs can do better than a retarded Korean peacock fag & 'Roid Man....
Hey pfah, I need a favor from you & your mad Photoshop skillz to make me an avatar (I lost a bet w/ scumbag619) so holla at me if ya get a chance...
That girl in the polka dot bikini is actually a contestant on Paris Hilton's show on MTV. She's kinda a slut on that show too.
# posted by : 9:43 PM
: 9:43 PM
It looks as if Bobby Lee is about to try the Three Stooges finger-poke on Raised-forhead douche, but his little girl sunglasses are in the way.
@Mr. White
Nice BladeRunner reference!
The line "Time to Die" was used twice in the movie.....
It should be used twice in this pic!!!
And...... F.F.S.
Nice BladeRunner reference!
The line "Time to Die" was used twice in the movie.....
It should be used twice in this pic!!!
And...... F.F.S.
# posted by : 6:46 AM
: 6:46 AM
HAHAHA, I think the girl on the left is Corrie from Paris Hilton's My New BFF. "People call me 'Bikini Corrie' back home because I EARNED IT!" LOL
she sleeps with club owners, she runs around telling people she's italian, AND she's adopted.
# posted by : 7:40 PM
: 7:40 PM
I used to come home and cry in high school and say, 'Mom, I don't want to be pretty anymore.' And she'd be like, 'You stop it.' Heavy is the head the wears the crown.
She earned what?
Someone bought those stupid looking overstretched tits and I doubt it was her.
The only thing she's earned is lower back problems and a gaping asshole from getting spun around on the cocks of quasi-retarded guys after the other hole wore out.
Post a Comment
Someone bought those stupid looking overstretched tits and I doubt it was her.
The only thing she's earned is lower back problems and a gaping asshole from getting spun around on the cocks of quasi-retarded guys after the other hole wore out.
# posted by : 9:51 AM
: 9:51 AM << Home
