What is it called again when a tanned boobie princess is displaying a malformed Mark of the 'Bag? Please advise.
 

Wow. That's a lot of crap piled into one picture...just wow.
 

This is the East Coast version of "The Hills" called "The Landfill".
 

you guys are being a little harsh on c3po's girlfriend
 

Menudo reunion. You know blondie stole that hat from one of those douchewanks.
 

yeah everytime i see a guy or girl, especially a guy with the keffiyeh (i.e. that scraf thing worn mostly by Palestinians but frequently other Arabic and Turkic people as well now turned fashionable) I start screaming "ALLAHU AKBAR ALLAHU AKBAR BISMILLAH Al RAHAM AL RAHIM..." and wonder if they have a clue as to why I'm doing it.

fucking fashiontards.

Army of DOuche-ness
 

New Douches On the Block!
 

They look like a Christian Douche Band.

Are there such things?
 

That woman is way too small in the shoulders for implants of that size. When she's 40, a few years from now, her back pains will make her regret this folly. And why is the moron in the back wearing sunglasses at night?

Now I know this will rile some readers, but the guy on the left is cute -- no tats, no bling, no throwing signs, no crud in the hair, no carnival prize earrings. With some proper intervention, he could be redeemed.
 

@ Amanda. I kinda look like the guy on the left! Marry me!

Army of Douche-ness
 

Whats with the vest?
 

It's like an evolution of douche chart you see how basic slavery to fashion can turn basically pretty people into present day douche/bleeth.

Of course it is just a theory and not yet taught in schools in backwards areas like New Jersey.

They prefer Ignoramus Design were some overall power made them this way intentionally.
 

Amanda,
You've got to stop this. Remember, sometimes it's the company that you keep. Their doucheyness has rubbed off on him. It's okay to think he's cute and not tell anyone. Look, and look away.
Maybe we should start a site for us ladies called "If Only You Weren't a Douchebag."
As for the other douchwanks: a marf? white rimmed sunglasses at night? What the fuck is up with her hair? a faux hawk..... I ahve to add another "wow" to this one
Wow.
 

I can't stop being mad about the fashionable keffiyeh.

the sheer juxtaposition of fashion/cool to culutral ignorance is splitting my skull.

Army of DOuche-ness
 

DB1-

How can you sautee something wrapped in tinfoil?
 

Umm ... err ... yeah.

So where exactly was this taken? So we know where to test the missles from now on?
 

The bleath on the right's got yummy knockers, i reckon. But you DON'T want to be there in the morning before it puts on its face...make yu'r dog barf...
 

Some Bond Girls are in this month's Playboy - what wonderful timing for this post!
 

Paula was right - opposites attract...in this case the hots and the douches. I love the latino version of Star Trek's Data lurking in the background blending his fauxhawk into the night sky. And that scarf...c'mon. Are you really that concerned a sandstorm's gonna break out at the club? And don't pretend like you're not at the club with all those blue wristbands in the pic. And Queen Midas' boobs are amazing.
 

So the Power Rangers are finally doing a New Jersey based show.
 

Damn. Look at her. Is Joel Schumacher remaking HEARTBEEPS or something?
 

@anon

Sorry, I already have a boyfriend and he's way much hotter than you.
 

@ Amanda-

That wasn't very friendly as there's really no chance of us ever actually knowing one another, hence a joke.

Furthermore, that comment snarky comment in addition to what you said before just solidified the fact that you're not better than the girls in the pic.

Army of Douche-ness
 

Amanda,

Yeah, but is he way much hotter than a bleating goat?
 

I think Marcia Brady in the fedora is cute. Maybe it's just the fact that she's smiling amidst that sea of choadswill that works for me.

Or maybe it's just the hat.
 

@ dont wheeze

fair point. she looks decent.

my comment before was that most women who like hanging out with douchebags are generally not any better themselves than the db's. From my historical experience I tend to suffer bleeth paradox less than others in that I dont look forgivingly or wish to save bleethy chicks so much as vow to ignore them as I'll never be able to fulfill their empty ego like an eager to impress douchebag will. I'm just too level headed about gender relations.

Army of Douche-ness
 

Furthermore, as I'm generally comfortable in my solitude over in-authentic "good" company, I honestly think a lot of times we should be mocking most hotts* as much as the DB's if not more for their perpetuation by virtue of positive re-enforcement.

yep, Amanda has clearly pissed me off...

Army of DOuche-ness

* a few worth saving, Deathtongue's, Little Carmacita who smells poo.
 

He Just Bangs Bitches and Paints. Bitches.
 

oops wrong thread.
 

@Army -

Hey, no harm, no foul. I actually wasn't responding to any of your posts with/vs. Amanda. I was just being an innocuous perv as usual. ; )

But one thing I dislike about online communication is the lack of tone/inflection in printed words. I hope that's what's going on here.

And, oooooh yeah, I love Deathtongue's hott and Little Carmacita - the latter's expression of disgust at the douche behind her is priceless!
 

Goldthingers on the right has got to be thinking : "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!!"
 

@anon

You said you looked like the guy Amanda thought was cute. She was using your own comparison. So lay off the girl, okay? She never said she was better than anybody in the picture, did she?
 

@ Ben-

yes I am aware of that and that I potentially walked right into that comment but I was at least being friendly and joking (and if i werent, marriage is honorable if done well) where as she could have politely responded that she had a boyfriend,thanks for the offer, she choose to insult me. It was not just a passing comment like "nah, i'm good" it was a deliberate attempt to berate me and for nothing barring an attempt to claim her supriority- a rather bitchy move.

It was rude and un-necessary and I honestly think this is exactly the type of behavior that needs to be called out. I can imagine exactly her tone of voice when she mentally said that, her reaction, attitude, etc...it was very bleeth (thus comparable to girls in photo) and was an attempt at claiming her superiority by virtue of being with a supposedly "way much hotter guy" which would indicate that she must be that much better looking to boot as a better looking guy than above is going to be with a better looking girl in the picture even, who is cute.

Perhaps I'm reading into this too much, but there's a massive amount of subtext that gets overlooked in these types of exchanges and they are more powerful in some cases than the actual textual comments made. I'm bringing those subtexts to light in this situation.

The other side of the coin-mocking douches- is what this site is all about. Perhaps I should start a site of my own that's more focused on changing snobby bleeths than their lap dogs masquerading as "bad boys" counterparts...


Army of Douche-ness
 

Hey! It's Katrina and the Douches!

Walkin' on Douch-shine, baby!
 

Yay! To all that stuff up there ^.

It was like that awkward moment at Thanksgiving dinner each year when Uncle Leo had one too many Peppermints Schnaps and would turn to mom and say, " I-I-I-I-I dated you first and if you weren't such a prude and put out you coulda married me ....."

Then he'd pass out in his mashed potatoes.

In the morning we'd all bet on what time it would happen and the second his head hit the table there'd be one kid saying "YAY !" and the rest saying "AWwwwwww!"
 

@Vin, 5:20 p.m. -

Uncle Leo?
 

love the color-coordinated ensembles!

-queer eye for the douchebag
 

@anon

"Perhaps I'm reading into this too much..."

I think you are. You threw me a silly come-on line and I threw you something silly right back. The grammatically dubious phrase "way much hotter" was intended to be, like, brainless and stuff, you know, like I spend like way much more time like retouching my roots and stuff than like actually thinking.
 

uh, has anyone noticed that the boys are only touching boys? this could never happen in a Creature's cave... these broads would leave with suction cup marks all over their scrumptious bods, especially boobies & lemonade distilleries
 

@ don't wheeze:

... add 60 pounds, a ratty terry cloth bathrobe with holes in ALL the wrong places, facial stubble and fish and cheese breath ? Yes.
 

She (Amanda) does keep saying that some of the douches are hot. What if she is a hott, likes to date douchebags and sectretly feels ashamed, then comes to this site to find a support in leaving them.... only to find that she really does love their douchewankery ways, and then feels compelled to defend them. Perhaps she is truly tormented within... can you just imagine the inner turmoil she must feel?
 

@douchegigggle

No hon. I'd run away from 97.38 percent of the men pictured here. The heavy tatts, the sign throwing, the laughable hairstyles, the uberbling, the pimp shirts are all deal killers for me.

I do have a weakness for a muscular man with powerful arms and shoulders, though, as long as he's natural and not roided. He must be intelligent, however, and know the difference between Schopenhauer and Chopin. If you know any powerlifting champions with a PhD, please send him in my direction.

And for the record, I believe I only made non-pejorative comments about two men: one was "kinda hot" and the other "cute." And I had significant cavaets about both. I don't believe twice amounts to "keep saying."
 

Dammit...I'm out. I gotta go look up "non-pejorative"!
 

Hey all I'm back. No luck though all I could find was "pejorative"!
 

Word.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

cockpunch. true.
 

Okay, that is a total skanky Bleeth on the right, and she looks preggers, too. And haven't we seen this fellow with the white sunglasses before? They are very familiar spectacles in a picture of spectacles.
 

let's see... Schopenhauer was the shortstop on the '59 go-go White Sox, & uhm, Chopin was the scroat sack I had to chase out of my laundry room at 3 AM with an axe handle after my last cocktail party

does that do it for you Amanda?

oh, btw, I got some meaty arms!
 

I had a caveat at one time regarding millipede bungholes. But I swallowed deeply and overcame that caveat.
 

Speaking of bungholes, will Samurai Scrote please release Pfah already!
 

@creature

Meaty muscular or meaty fat?
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Note to regulars-
Please don't scare off the female posters. We need more of them around here. And I'm not just saying that because I want Amanda to email me sexy pics of her naked with a bowl of jello. Because she was hot and she was hungry.

- management
 

@ db1
Don't you think it would be hard to scare us off? We are, after all, enjoying your site and the awful but hilarious comments. I do, however, thank you for your chivalry because, your right, there have been a couple of times when I thought "oh my!"
 

DB1-

Wait. You're saying Creature, BCS and Crucial aren't chicks?

Dammit...
 

@db1

I don't scare easily and was not the least bit frightened. Nonetheless, a gentleman is always appreciated, so thank you. (Sorry, no jello pictures though. Not that I wouldn't, but I just don't have any.)
 

@Db1, Amanda, et al-

I apologize for potentially scaring off an actual female reader and potentially over-reacting as well but...

that not wishstanding my comments are objectively reasonable and i think on a deeper level than most would admit to they agree.

Army of DOuche-ness, martyr of douche paradox rebellion.
 

Wow! You all suck at life. I admit the hot chicks with douchebags thing is funny. I own the book. However, the book and site is made by some angry, bitter man whose ex-girl is now dating a "douchebag" and has now scarred the author for life. Making it somehow harder for him to get laid. You all need to look at yourselves. Is this how you all need to fill your time? Critiquing pictures of photos of people you don't know? I agree, some of these pics are hilarious, and I can guarantee the angry man who created the site and book could probably find at least one pic of every man taken with a hot girl in this country in his 20's or 30's and find some way to categorize him as a "douchebag". You are all equally as pathetic and worthless and him
 

Correction from last post in last sentence. You are all equally as pathetic and worthless as him.
 

Pfah has been released. He walks among you in silence. He has learned much from SAMURAI SCROTE.
 

And I know all the people in this pic. Actually, I am in it. Although I agree, its a bit of a spectacle, and some of us are dressed a little too trendy, we are all good, successful, intelligent, educated people having a good time on vacation. None of us are from Jersey either. So for are all of you pathetic people who need to take it back to their elementary and middle school days by ridiculing others because of your own low self esteems, I hope you all enjoy your sad little postings you make while you're sitting in a cubicle rotting in your miserable jobs or sitting around wanking on the internet in your bedroom at your parent's house. I guarantee none of the people in this pic have time in their normal, happy, successful lives to be on this site every day making fun of others to make themselves feel better. I feel sorry for all of you fucking losers.
 

Now why do you HAVE to dress in a trendy fashion? Are you afraid be being left behind by the Joneses of the world?

But we're the ones stuck in elementary and middle school. That makes sense. We're the losers because although you claim you're all intelligent, happy, successful, etc. you can't dress yourselves for fear of not looking like everyone else. And you can't avoid using cliched insults.
 

@rskijr:

If we wanted to hear ground breaking claims with the phrases "parents bedrooms," "rotting in your miserable jobs," or "fucking losers," we'd just call up Darksock's mom.
 

Besides the fact you don't know which person I am in the photo, very few people have absolute original style. Nothing wrong with taking a chance and trying something fashionwise. And again, I am not the one sitting at home or in their office hiding behind a computer to talk shit about other people. I'm sorry if my insults weren't as intelligent or as thought out as yours. I'm sure that point made significant impact on your low self esteem for the day
 

Besides the fact you don't know which person I am in the photo, very few people have absolute original style. Nothing wrong with taking a chance and trying something fashionwise. And again, I am not the one sitting at home or in their office hiding behind a computer to talk shit about other people. I'm sorry if my insults weren't as intelligent or as thought out as yours. I'm sure that point made significant impact on your low self esteem for the day
 

Looks like I've opened the floodgates for witty responses to my postings by all you bored elitist assholes. Bring them on. I enjoy them thoroughly.
 

"And again, I am not the one sitting at home or in their office hiding behind a computer to talk shit about other people."

So you're out on a beach or in a library, uh, beside the computer right now? In front of it? When did anyone claim to know which douchebag you were? Are you the flaming douche with the white-rimmed shades AT NIGHT? What's with that silly fauxhawk, anyway?

Or are you the one copping off Muslim culture with the trendy accoutrement (kaffiyeh)? Or are you going to tell us you're Arab and in standard cultural garb? Yeah, like that tattoo is standard. Oh wait, you're "just trying something." Yep...that's why you're wearing a crucifix. You're a BELIEVER. ;)

Since your Blogger name is RSkiJr, I'll assume you're not one of the ladies unless you're trying to be "edgy." My guess is that the males in the photo are all frat boys accustomed to dressing alike, or at least with and for the approval of your "bros." And "Spring Break" isn't really vacation. It's just time off from school.
 

"Wow! You all suck at life. I admit the hot chicks with douchebags thing is funny. I own the book."

So it was all funny until...you found yourself being mocked on the site. And now...

"However, the book and site is made by some angry, bitter man whose ex-girl is now dating a "douchebag" and has now scarred the author for life. Making it somehow harder for him to get laid."

So his alleged failure to get laid more often is reason for you to even the score? Do you know he doesn't get laid? Aren't you just as sad as us for coming here?
 

@rkijr

You made a great point...

I will never touch meth before going shopping for clothes at the mall...

... I'll now return to my enormously menial task of designing the next building that will house your rapidly aging ego.

I think the bell just rang... recess is over... get back to class child.
 

I'm not even going to dignify rskijr's comments with a defense or argument as it'd just be a waste and i DO have things to do today.

...but if he's the guy with the keffiyeh and then makes a benign passing comment like "well maybe we were dressed a bit too trendy" holy shit I WILL issue a fatwa on his ass Yusuf Islam to Salman Rushdie style...Insh'allah.

Army of Douche-ness
 

I'm not even going to dignify rskijr's comments with a defense or argument as it'd just be a waste and i DO have things to do today.

...but if he's the guy with the keffiyeh and then makes a benign passing comment like "well maybe we were dressed a bit too trendy" holy shit I WILL issue a fatwa on his ass Yusuf Islam to Salman Rushdie style...Insh'allah.

Army of Douche-ness
 

I'm not even going to dignify rskijr's comments with a defense or argument as it'd just be a waste and i DO have things to do today.

...but if he's the guy with the keffiyeh and then makes a benign passing comment like "well maybe we were dressed a bit too trendy" holy shit I WILL issue a fatwa on his ass Yusuf Islam to Salman Rushdie style...Insh'allah.

Army of Douche-ness
 

@rkijr

If you're the second one from the left, why are you wasting time trolling people here when Amanda wants your number?
 

I admit, a couple of my statements may have sounded hypocritical, "rskijr is a hypocrite like issac hayes said" or whatever your clever, witty screen name is. I did buy the book because a couple people I know are in the book, and because I thought it looked funny. As I began to read it though I realized it was written by a miserable human being and I actually felt sorry for him. If you actually have read it, you would know what I was talking about with the author and his bad luck with the ladies. And lastly, I am not just as sad as all of you hatemongers for coming on here. A friend told me he saw the pic of me and my friends on the site so that is why I logged on. I can assure you I have better ways to use my time than critiquing photos of people I don't know to try to make myself feel better. You are all a waste of space and need to find a hobbie that doesn't involve your useless opinions and hatemongering statements.
 

I have to respect his lack of take-down request but as far as his critique of the book DB1 goes, I think every guy has been freaked out by seeing his ex with her new guy. Unless he's clearly a doctor or Brad Pitt such that you have to say "damn, I just can't compete with that" it's somewhat inevitable that you'll be appalled and say "what the fuck is she doing with that douchebag?!" It shows you care(d).

I'm quite sure it has had to have happened rskijr at least once in his life with someone he cared about and if not, more to pity him that he's either never cared that much about anyone or ever felt wrongly duped- it's an important part of the development proccess.

furthermore, if DB1's making $ off running this site then regardless of the content, he is winning the capitalist game and doing it his way...if we could only all be so lucky.

oh, and dont even try to play this off like "i'm so slick and successful with the ladies i leave every single one of them wanting more" because we all know that behind every true ladies man there's a few that got away.

Army of DOuche-ness
 

better stated, at least ONE that got away and chances are, if she'd take him back he'd drop his bullshit "player" facade and run home to her.

I know deep down you're hurting Rskijr. We all are.

Army of DOuche-ness
 

You're right, we all do hurt. Like I said, I feel sorry for the author. He clearly seems miserable. He had to devote A LOT of time to create the book and website as an outlet to vent his hate towards all the "douchebags" of the world that were similar to the one that got with his ex-girl. The way we choose to vent that hurt is what seperates good people and miserable people. I don't need to direct my hurt into hating or hating on others.
 

@ rskijr.

I'm starting to like you. Your level-headedness is refreshing.

but, becoming the douche as a way to vent as many "ladies men" do to cover the hurt is equally hateful albeit using a certain reverse psychology. I should know, I've done it too. I'm here as a recovering DB.

What do you do to vent? and I'm being sincere here.

Army of Douche-ness
 

I vent in what I would say would be healthier ways like surrounding myself with people I care about or other constructive means like sports or working out (roid free as I am no "douchebag").

You seem like an intelligent person based on your vocabulary and prose. Why do you waste your time and energy on this waste of a .com? Saying you are a recovering DB is a cop out. Being a former "DB" isn't like AA where you go for support to get over an addiction. DB is a loose and vague term the author/creator uses to basically ridicule almost every social group and style in America right now. No one is safe from this site. I am no douche. I know what douchebags are. They exude a certain aura and cockiness a picture usually cannot capture. Although I agree there are a lot of seemingly douchy guys and girls in these photos and a lot of these people may in fact be douchebags. I also do believe people might act or look like idiots at time but that doesn't immediately classify them as DB's. To devote an entire website and book to try and ridicule and embarass these seemingly "douchebag" people is unfair and a pathetic waste of time for bored people who have something wrong in their own psyche to be able to devote time in their days to be hateful toward others they don't know.
 

You may claim to be "roid free," but you are an absolute douchebag. You're just sad and pathetic for only coming here to get all pissy about the page once it was your turn to be featured here.

Why don't you just ask DB1 to take down your photo? Maybe then your friends will quit bothering you about it being here. Ironically, you can then get back to "having a life."
 

Ha ha! Someone is butt hurt...

Go on with your miserable existence in solitude.

I am not the one on here every day using my time to make hateful remarks. Non-ironically, with that said I will return to "having a life" that I was already living happily without spewing hate bile on the internet.

Its funny how quickly you go from "I'm starting to like you, your level-headedness is refreshing" to "you are an absolute douchebag" when some aspects of your pathetic online persona are pointed out to you. Did you reach a moment of self-realization? Are you hurting because you aren't just a recovering DB, you are still a full blown douchebag on the inside? That must suck.
 

LOL! I guess once you finally get over having yourself on this site, exposing you for your douchebag manner of dress (nice nighttime shades, dumbass), maybe then you can again "have a life."
 

Not that it matters, but that is not me. I am the one that you told Amanda looks like you on the far left. Say what you want about my clothes cuz I could give a fuck what your or anyone thinks. Again there is more to being a DB than clothes. I'm done with this. I've said my piece and I've had many more valid points than you and your repeated cliched insult of "douchebag". Enjoy your precious little forum and solitude.
 

Naturally, you picked the least douchey of the three frat boys. See, even you can see the spectacle of their douchebaggery, but yes, there is much more than clothing to being a douchebag. There's also the attitude that one must follow trends in order to fit in instead of just being oneself and having the ability to think independently.

Here's hoping you develop that latter ability soon.
 

The one on the right looks pregnant. Nice maternity dress!
 

@ rskijr-

I always post as Army of Douche-ness and thus, those following comments werent me. i took the weekend off and this is my first comment since my last in which i asked what yuou do to vent. Thus, I never flipped and went from calling you level-headed to absolute douchebag.

oh, and as far as being a reocvering DB, I do need to come here daily to remind myself of what not to be because I'm always close to losing it again. Believe me, it works.

Army of Douche-ness
 

@ rskijr-

I always post as Army of Douche-ness and thus, those following comments werent me. i took the weekend off and this is my first comment since my last in which i asked what yuou do to vent. Thus, I never flipped and went from calling you level-headed to absolute douchebag.

oh, and as far as being a reocvering DB, I do need to come here daily to remind myself of what not to be because I'm always close to losing it again. Believe me, it works.

Army of Douche-ness