Oh My God - this is friggin' scary. No lie - I thought about Johnny Blaze this morning when I was getting ready for work...just wonderin' what he's been up to. I guess the old saying - Ask and ye shall receive - comes true once in a while. I can see he hasn't changed much...
 

Take the cap off, babe.
 

Won't Carly have a tough time getting her drink on when she is leaving the cap on? Johnny needs to get her to unscrew now so that he can get to screwing her later.
 

Moments after the photo was snapped, Carly lit a cigarette near Johnny. The fumes in the air ignited with a "whoooosh". For a moment, Johnny's skin turned deeper shades of orange before it started melting off of his putrid body. Ironically, Johnny Blaze finally lived up to his name.

Carly strolled away looking for her next victim. "Where is Samurai Scrote?" She mumbled to herself.

Rest in Peace, Johnny Blaze
 

god that girly makey me thinky nasty thingies
 

Just BLAZE!
Wow, they just walk around holding unopened bottles of grey goose? What a life.
 

Is he really that good that he hides the cap of his bottle on purpose?

also, the look on his chin makes me worried; if he pulls his left hand back like shifting his Fiat Punto from 1st to 2nd, poor Carly will learn the hard way that letting johnny stick anything in her mouth means to lose her face.
 

I thought Johnny Blaze died when his Prius hit a large azalea bush.
 

"And all the little ants are marching
On the edge of Johnny's face waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way"

Dave Matthews - Ants Marching
 

Yo, Johnny. That shit triple distilled?
 

Damn! What a walking, talking, floating turd of purchased corporate sponsorship:

http://www.myspace.com/johnnyblazeme

I certainly hope these asshats are being royally paid by these clothing companies/trendoid spotters for being living billboards. Blaze and his entourage (no pun intended) certainly don't suffer from a lack of douchebaggery on their own, but after barfing on my monitor at that MySpace page, I have to wonder if there's more than meets the eye here.

It's as though Christian Audoucheier himself goes up to these tools and says, "I've got a steady paycheck in it for you if you just wear my clothes." To which he young 'baglings apparently happily reply, "Where do I sign?"

I may be unemployed, but I have far too much integrity to ever consider doing anything like this. My dignity isn't for sale.
 

I must admit I'm a little jealous of Johnny; where does he hang out that the girls walk around in skimpy undies? My god man! I'd be willing to shave me a chinstrap, Dragonball my hair, put on a pair of guess jeans and an A|X shirt to visit such a place.
 

I just viewed Blaze's myspace page. While I'm intrigued by the girls (like hair of the 'bag), I can't help but feel ill from looking at those pictures. Too many fucktards in too many pictures.

I'm off to find an eye wash station.
 

Like a moron, I clicked on his MySpace link, thanks don't wheeze, you rat bastard.

But it did explain everything. As a former resident of the New England area I can tell you when the weather shifts and gets miserable there are few things to occupy your time in Providence , RI.

Drinking, posing, and well, that's about it.

Might as well be the best posing drinker you can be.
 

I have to admit: If I were trapped in Kermit the Frog's bowel with Johnny Blaze, I'd probably try to chew through the cap on a bottle of vodka, too.

@don't wheeze

You mean you can tell the difference between the average MySpace page and a screen covered with vomit? My puke rarely changes the look of those pages.
 

Oh my god - I unfortunately followed enough links here to get to his myspace page. Now I have to pour acid into my eyes and Dremel out my ears to get ride of the scrote infection permeating me!
 

Wow! She's fine. Sadly, probably just another Jersey Shore floozy.

FFS!
 

Ha ha ... that guys myspace is killing me
 

Why isn't JB in the HoS? Did Joey Porsche trademark this look and thus JB lacks the uniqueness to get him in? This needs to be looked at . . .
 

this picture was taken in the green room of the show called Name That Douchebag. Johnny was a contestant, but was too drunk from drinking unopened bottles of Grey Goose to participate. they found him 2 days later in the props closet, dressed in her outfit, and in a pool of his own vomit.



my very own map of Hawaii, meet her tummy.
 

oh, and happy early 2nd Anniversary bcs.
 

@ don't wheeze

I am gainfully employed and if someone paid me to wear free clothes I would do it in a second, even if those clothes were fucking retarded.
 

Yes, Johnny Blaze was denied entry into the hallowed Hall of Scrote due to his ripping off of the Joey Porsche template.

However, we may need to hold another vote.
 

I apologize if my link has caused anyone (else) to lose their lunch - I actually found it while going back through the old entries DB1 linked. Blame him. LMAO!

But damn, I don't understand how these assbags can post all kinds of photos of themselves like this, looking so much every other scrotemuffin in every photo, without wondering about the similarities.

Must be a condition of receiving those paychecks I'm guessing they receive. Douchebaggery is the current pyramid scheme. I'll bet the little Jerz bleeths are also paid to be there.
 

It's as though he read the HCwDB book and is going down the list of adouchrements, making sure not to miss a single one. He's mocking us, DB1.
 

I didn't even notice that he had facial hair. How do you even DO that? I like how he's helping her hold up the bottle. "Damnit gurl, you best pretend to drink that shit or I'ma poke you square in da eye."
 

Blaze is the GoBots to Joey Porsche's Transformers, but even as such, deserves a spot in the Hall.
 

On the set of 'The Matrix IV: Don't Haterz the Machines', Johnny poses his RealDoll for a 360 degree Grey Goose chugging shot.

It's the only explanation for this level of trend following doucheosity that doesn't make me want to go postal on the Eastern Seaboard.
 

That's it. I'm starting a high-end clothing company called "AssHat". I figure if we have to live with them, at least we can label them so we know who's who.
 

@DB1,

Maybe as the Hall of Scrote grows, you could subdivide it into separate wings. Name each wing after a representative HoS member (and by "member," I mean.....), or perhaps by geographic region. That would allow Johnny "Armani Alex" Blaze a place to snuggle with Joey Porsche.....while the rest of us upchuck.


@massengill -

I have nothing against free money in and of itself, mind you, but I wouldn't want to do anything that's an equivalent of standing out in front of a KFC in a chicken outfit holding up a sign. Blaze here is wearing the Affliction "chicken suit" and holding up the Grey Goose. The only additional thing here is the hott.....who I still feel is paid to pose with these scrotes to make it seem that clothing draws the hotts.
 

Whoa. If the booze is free too I am in like Flynn. Or Flint. Whichever you prefer.
 

sadly, i've never been to a club where the girls wear panties and look like they've just stepped out of the pages of an Agent Provocateur catalog.

and yes, i'm complaining.

strip clubs are one thing, you expect this kind of dress there. but at a club?

shit, maybe i'm just old.

but i can still rock a raging boner, so i've got that going for me, which is nice.
 

Such a waste of otherwise good vodka.
If it isn't just refilled Popov like those "Bottles" clubs.

So many dumb girls, so little time.

+++ genuinely Small pants on Carly... -shame.
+she'll weigh about 250 in ~8 years from this pic.

what's with the caps on the booze? Somehow I am led to believe Carly is less conservative with other things; hrm...


@shamespear: -rofl!
@jean claude van douche: I'm starting my own Graphic T-Shirt line called "Infection", maybe we can get a package deal on retail space at Macy's. :D
 

@ don't wheeze.
I can almost GUARANTEE that a lot of these girls are paid to do this. they are called "spokesmodels" and their job is basically to be hot in a bar and give people free shots of whatever booze they are pushing.

my friend is a liquor distributor and he hires girls like this a lot of times in chicago.
 

@douchelexic -

Oh yeah, I'm sure of that as well. I've been in bars while the "Miller Girls," "Bud Girls," etc. were there. I just wonder if the Christian Audigier people are out there slipping them a few extra bucks to pose specifically with the douchebags. I guess it's cheaper than creating TV ads.
 

Dear God I want to smash this kid's face in.
 

This guy is all that is douche and I think he should be a finalist for the week. Orange skin+ desgner T+ Doucheplosion hair+ fung+hand gestures+ double bottles of goose+hot pealer in panties and he's forcing her to chug+ shes grabing wang= THE TOTAL DOUCHPEIENCE

This guy is all that is douche and its amazing
 

Yes, these spokesmodel companies exist.

The best of them is Sports by Brooks.com.

They hire only woman possessing huge mammaries that are seemingly unaware that we are staring intently at them puppies.

Intently.
 

Well, thanks to vin, I won't be getting anything else done today. And by "thanks," I mean I'll likely have sore wrists very soon.

Yet, I have finally discovered where orel douchehiser got his avatar.....

Now if could just find out where Adolf got his.....and where in the hell has he been, anyway?
 

Maybe THIS would have been a better example?
 

I am fascinated by the chinstrap.
How in the hell does one shave that thing on ones face??
Besides looking really fucking stupid, it sure seems like an awful lot of work to look like a douche.
 

@vin -

Yeah, I'm spent.

Hail to the Chiefs, indeed!
 

Ah, yes, the Providencebag. Unfortunately, even when temperatures get cold, they don't hibernate for the winter.
 

i just joined the vomitorium club..... i just saw his myspace.

wattadouche.

music producer? this guy could probably barely define the word "compression", let alone tell you what digital/analog compression is and how it is used in music production.

what a phony.
 

@vin and don't wheeze

Holy mammaries. Dorothy may be in Venice, CA, but I think her boobs just brushed my back, and I'm in Boston.

"Sports by Brooks: The site that makes girls with C cups feel prepubescent."
 

I haven't looked at his myspace probably since last year's Douchies. Trying to fight off urge to do so now...trying to not look...its like there a douchitudinal force pulling me towards it...DON'T LOOK!!!!
 

maternity stripper gear...i guess thats from the "only in jersey" collection
 

breaking news. 100 corporations have combined efforts to sue one person "johnny blaze" for unauthorized use of logos and depictions thereof, and the degradation of, therin. this is to be the first "lack of class" action lawsuit but could pave the way for many more.
 

Holy crap. Like poor Alice, I followed the Douche Rabbit down the stinky hole and landed on JB's Myspace page. It's like a giant infomercial for DOUCHE. Just DOUCHE, whatever form it takes. Jersey clubturds in blingy sweaters, cars that these unemployed choadwanks couldn't afford, hot chicks they will never have sex with, not even for money, orange tans, greasy porcupine heads...Notice the plug for his hair salon? The fucking logo for that place? It looks like the bride of Frankenstein, and not in a good way. WTF. I need to scrub my eyeballs with a wire brush before I start to Bleeth. This is turning into a most unpleasant day indeed.

Oh, and Carly? Trying to drink from a bottle that isn't open is like trying to suck a cock wihtout unzipping the fly first. Not that you needed my advice or anything....
 

Yay!
 

thank you vin for that amazing link.

I literally shudder a little when I look at some of those chicks.

I'd happily buy any damn thing that they were holding, no matter what the cost.
 

Oft, i am to ponder such as the ongoing effects of global recession, global warming trend, does johnny only have one shirt? Where are the pants of my friends youngest sister, sandy.
 

Good lord. DB1, if this site ever needs to be 'down for maintenance' you could just redirect everyone to Armani Alex/Al Money/Johnny Blazes myspace page.
 

The Jolly Green Giant went merrily about his vegecentric business, blissly unaware of the two malignant cells busily dividing in the sodden green confines of his mulchy colon.
 

My good god....

DB1 there is seriously about 12 months world of douchbag material on the guys myspace site.... all of it including the blazeman. you could start a site called hotchickswithblazemandouch.com
 

Why must he clutch her arm in that manner? Ooooo, Johnny, you're so tough! You can force a girl to fake-drink!

I love how the bags have to compensate for their total inadequacy with shows of force over women.
 

Bottle service: $200.

Affliction t-shirt: $65.

Lap dance from Carly: $20.

Another douchey pic to add to his MySpace page: priceless.

This fuckwad needs a severe beating.
 

There's a couple parental consent things going on here...
 

As a newbie, this is my first gander at the Blaze MySpace Extravaganza & I think it encapsulates everything that this site is about:
-Orange man tans
-Obnoxious hand signals
-Gelled up hair
-An inflated sense of self (Armani Alex is not hot & the girls are paid to take pics w/ him)
-ED HARDY!!!
-A Bra! Bro! picture
...and so much more

And just on a side note, these fucktards need to go back to Cornell & learn proper grammar because the dumb ass t-shirt that reads "Got Ho's?" is incorrect & bugs the hell out of me. THERE'S NO NEED FOR AN APOSTROPHE, you retards!!!!
 

good form! this puke can manage a 'bag hand gesture even while clutching what appears to be a pretty full bottle of vodka. he and the chick have totally gay matching blue wristbands...kind of a gay 2000's version of the "I'm with stupid -->" T shirts.
 

He should drink more and go drive FAST!!!
 

Nice...the old fake drink out of the bottle move. A classic in the douche world.