Monday, October 27, 2008
HCwDB of the Week
Going through the emails and getting the pics together for a busy week, and reflecting on the fact that Jon Hamm should not be hosting SNL, as great as he is in Mad Men. Peyton List should be. And by "hosting," I mean fondling. And by "SNL" I mean my middle toesies.
Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Chumlee
Chumlee has that smug "model" look going. The jaundice skin. The hint of silver dye in the hair. The oily oiledness.
Combine that with the stripey scarf, the shaved chest, the ferret chin fung, the hat and the stupid hand gesture, and he's a douche that's more than the sum of his adouchrements.
And Beatrice is simply bursting forth with all that is holy and gelatinous in life.
Beatrice is strong of leg, with mountain climbing build.
She could crush your spine with her legs, then cook a chicken pot pie for supper.
I want her to punish me cruelly and without mercy. For I have been very naughty. My lower butt area needs light but firm whacking with a slide ruler and a box of Mike-n-Ikes.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Kreep
Yes, the girl in the middle is scary skinny. And yes, the tripartite facial hair on Kreep looks like a cancer patient's crotch.
But Native Hottmerican on the right makes my wumpa want to wigwam, and my Native American term for something want to Native American term for something.
Uhm. I think I just went what the kids call "meta." Back on track, DB1. Back on track.
Silly tatt. Hott and douche mediated by toothpick girl.
It's not a masterwork of choad/boob cohabitation. But it's enough to make Finalist status.
For Brunette is sulty and happy and perky and probably a great listener while I regale her with tales of my adventures in the Subcontinent.
And Kreep is a trool.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Italian Sausage and Asian Mellon Salad
Uhm.
Yeah.
This pic cannot be unseen.
Like the videotape in Ringu, The Sausage and Mellon Salad is cursed with the haunting spectrality of ghostly shrunken nads, mediated through a pixelated digital intermediary.
And yet, there is hope.
Archy backs make my heart race, and Shin-Lau has arms of lickable munchable mellon perfection.
She is the yin to his tiny, tiny, yang.
Speaking of: Pointing. At. His. Yang.
So them's your three. Which of these couplings has just the right alchemy balance between the dialectics of hottie/douchey commingling?
That decision, fellow 'bag hunters, is in your court. Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Chumlee
Chumlee has that smug "model" look going. The jaundice skin. The hint of silver dye in the hair. The oily oiledness.
Combine that with the stripey scarf, the shaved chest, the ferret chin fung, the hat and the stupid hand gesture, and he's a douche that's more than the sum of his adouchrements.
And Beatrice is simply bursting forth with all that is holy and gelatinous in life.
Beatrice is strong of leg, with mountain climbing build.
She could crush your spine with her legs, then cook a chicken pot pie for supper.
I want her to punish me cruelly and without mercy. For I have been very naughty. My lower butt area needs light but firm whacking with a slide ruler and a box of Mike-n-Ikes.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Kreep
Yes, the girl in the middle is scary skinny. And yes, the tripartite facial hair on Kreep looks like a cancer patient's crotch.
But Native Hottmerican on the right makes my wumpa want to wigwam, and my Native American term for something want to Native American term for something.
Uhm. I think I just went what the kids call "meta." Back on track, DB1. Back on track.
Silly tatt. Hott and douche mediated by toothpick girl.
It's not a masterwork of choad/boob cohabitation. But it's enough to make Finalist status.
For Brunette is sulty and happy and perky and probably a great listener while I regale her with tales of my adventures in the Subcontinent.
And Kreep is a trool.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Italian Sausage and Asian Mellon Salad
Uhm.
Yeah.
This pic cannot be unseen.
Like the videotape in Ringu, The Sausage and Mellon Salad is cursed with the haunting spectrality of ghostly shrunken nads, mediated through a pixelated digital intermediary.
And yet, there is hope.
Archy backs make my heart race, and Shin-Lau has arms of lickable munchable mellon perfection.
She is the yin to his tiny, tiny, yang.
Speaking of: Pointing. At. His. Yang.
So them's your three. Which of these couplings has just the right alchemy balance between the dialectics of hottie/douchey commingling?
That decision, fellow 'bag hunters, is in your court. Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Comments:
<< Home
It's gotta be Chumlee. His outfit and scissor-eye pose is supa-douchey. And those funbags on Beatrice would keep me entertained for many moons.
Kreep is creepy. Italian Sausage is small. But I just don't dig on skinny women, and the other two finalists could start fires if they rubbed their collective hotts together.
Chumlee FTW.
- The Scroatian
Kreep is creepy. Italian Sausage is small. But I just don't dig on skinny women, and the other two finalists could start fires if they rubbed their collective hotts together.
Chumlee FTW.
- The Scroatian
Italian weiner by a long shot. He manages to capture all that is douche without Ed Hardy shirts, or alcohol shows, or overly orange skin, or douche spikey hair (or any hair). He extracts douche essential oils simply with 75 square centimeters of stretchy material and his right index finger where lesser douches could not.
# posted by 
: 7:26 AM
: 7:26 AM
I just rubbed one out in the office's recycling bin to Chumlee's chick. Sultry brunettes with sideboob always work 100% of the time.
For that reason, and that reason alone, Chumlee for the win (i.e., Chumlee FTW).
For that reason, and that reason alone, Chumlee for the win (i.e., Chumlee FTW).
# posted by : 7:27 AM
: 7:27 AM
i think chumlee is going to win this...i think it's more of the type of traditional pics that are on this site...and that sideboob is undeniable. but i'm gonna have to vote for italian/vienna sausage. because any man that, when someone points to a camera, points to his genitals, deserves nothing less than as much exposure to his douchiness as possible. plus it's just friggin hilarious.
I vote #2. That guy is just so totally gross. The slicked-down, no-definition body and the rancid hair make my breakfast crave resurrection. And can we all chip in to buy the poor thing in the middle a sandwich?
Chumlee FTW, I really just want to kick the crap out of him and suckle side-boob hott.
# posted by : 7:34 AM
: 7:34 AM
As a true representation of HCwDB, it has to be Chumlee FTW.
I'd love to lick her skin
I'd love to lick her skin
# posted by : 7:39 AM
: 7:39 AM
this looks like it'd be an easy decision. yet, after 10 minutes of observation and thought, i still haven't reached a decision.
maybe i need more coffee.
back soon.
maybe i need more coffee.
back soon.
# posted by : 7:39 AM
: 7:39 AM
Take two douche faces and a wax figure I like to call Stan. To that, add four cantaloupes, two apples, and two mosquito bites and you've got this week's douche stew; a foul concoction. But force it down we must.
Gotta cast with Italian. Because he's hung like a spider monkey - and proud of it.
And breastesses. Is she blind? Can't she see he's got very little to offer? What's she thinking? These things bother me.
Italian Sausage-less FTW.
AV
Gotta cast with Italian. Because he's hung like a spider monkey - and proud of it.
And breastesses. Is she blind? Can't she see he's got very little to offer? What's she thinking? These things bother me.
Italian Sausage-less FTW.
AV
# posted by : 7:40 AM
: 7:40 AM
There's balance between Italian sausage and Asian melon hott. She has some curves and a nice rack, and he is pointing at his dick. Well, I'm sure he's really pointing at the "Italia" patch, though he most assuredly knows where that patch is. But with clothes on, he might be a regular guy. She's still a hott in a burlap sack.
Kreep is just a 22-year-old dishwasher who dreams of bringing grunge back. The 85-pound blonde will probably be cute when she finally fills out, though that may require implants. Her friend is very cute, but I can't shake the possibility that they're too young for me to be grading. Even if they're 18, I still feel dirty. Just because it's legal doesn't always make it OK.
(turns in man card?)
There is doubt about the hottness of Chumlee's hott. Yes, she has wonderful sideboob action here, but as someone pointed out on the original thread, the cropping of the photo may be hiding how big the rest of her is. And those maternity top things have never looked good on women who aren't actually pregnant.
But Chumlee is a smug Eurodouche wannabe. The runway/catalog pose in the nightclub signifies definite douche aura. He's only missing his beret. Chumlee FTW in a close race, even though he's the first one I'd want to pummel.
Kreep is just a 22-year-old dishwasher who dreams of bringing grunge back. The 85-pound blonde will probably be cute when she finally fills out, though that may require implants. Her friend is very cute, but I can't shake the possibility that they're too young for me to be grading. Even if they're 18, I still feel dirty. Just because it's legal doesn't always make it OK.
(turns in man card?)
There is doubt about the hottness of Chumlee's hott. Yes, she has wonderful sideboob action here, but as someone pointed out on the original thread, the cropping of the photo may be hiding how big the rest of her is. And those maternity top things have never looked good on women who aren't actually pregnant.
But Chumlee is a smug Eurodouche wannabe. The runway/catalog pose in the nightclub signifies definite douche aura. He's only missing his beret. Chumlee FTW in a close race, even though he's the first one I'd want to pummel.
Just an observation: I think Kreep's brunette friend could pass for Carly's (the Metaphysical Hooligan's hott) baby sister.
Agreed?
Agreed?
Pietro the Italian gym rat, unfortunately, doesn't leave much to the imagination. His index finger says, "These pecs are huge, this pecker...not so much." His hott, however, can tenderize my Kobe beef long time.
Chumlee is the biggest douche, striking a pose a la Madonna's Vogue while wearing what appears to be a hooded v-neck t-shirt. I think his hott is only average though.
Kreep FTW. As far as hotts are concerned, two is better than one, even if they are so emaciated that combined they only equal 3/4 of a normal sized girl. The Kreep is skinny, greasy stick of yuck that makes me want to take a shower just looking at him.
Chumlee is the biggest douche, striking a pose a la Madonna's Vogue while wearing what appears to be a hooded v-neck t-shirt. I think his hott is only average though.
Kreep FTW. As far as hotts are concerned, two is better than one, even if they are so emaciated that combined they only equal 3/4 of a normal sized girl. The Kreep is skinny, greasy stick of yuck that makes me want to take a shower just looking at him.
The Kreep FTW.
That pic is this site personified. He is a greasy,smelly choad sloth whom is infecting those innocent hotts with his douche slim and overall creepiness.
Go away Kreep...go the hell away.
That pic is this site personified. He is a greasy,smelly choad sloth whom is infecting those innocent hotts with his douche slim and overall creepiness.
Go away Kreep...go the hell away.
I've been pretty busy at work so I guess I'm just missing details. I did not see Sausage pointing. at. his. junk.
But, by the same token, I missed that faux silver patch in Chumlee's scalp.
Next time I'll use a scope.
Chumlee, regrettably, FTW
But, by the same token, I missed that faux silver patch in Chumlee's scalp.
Next time I'll use a scope.
Chumlee, regrettably, FTW
Chumlee. I don't even know why. Oh yeah, wait...sideboob. And the gray patch of hair. And the zebra scarf. And her sideboob. And 'bag hand gesture #77. And that stupid smirk on his face. And the ridiculous facial scrote. And boobs.
Chumlee has that certain je ne sais quois that makes him a winner. Beatrice's quois, on the other hand, can clearly be saised.
What? When I'm not busy reading The Art of War, I enjoy peppering my writing with French phrases.
What? When I'm not busy reading The Art of War, I enjoy peppering my writing with French phrases.
mmmk......i'm tossing my hat in Chumlee's ring.
Chumlee for the win.
i almost voted for The Italian Sausage based soley on the fact that i love Italy, but then i realized that wouldn't be fair to poor Chumlee who has worked so very hard to earn my vote.
so here's to you Chumlee, you Beckham wannabe. make sure you give that shirt/scarf combo back to your sister.
Chumlee for the win.
i almost voted for The Italian Sausage based soley on the fact that i love Italy, but then i realized that wouldn't be fair to poor Chumlee who has worked so very hard to earn my vote.
so here's to you Chumlee, you Beckham wannabe. make sure you give that shirt/scarf combo back to your sister.
# posted by : 8:03 AM
: 8:03 AM
I'll go with the douche making the 'last stop.' That's what gay guys refer to as when a white guy takes on an Asian girlfriend....'The Last Stop' before they make the jump to men.
Good luck with your new life speedo man. Look at the bright side, with your change of lifestyle strangers will see you and say to their friends 'Hey, look at that dou...naw he's just a gay dude with those bedazzled True Religions.'
Good luck with your new life speedo man. Look at the bright side, with your change of lifestyle strangers will see you and say to their friends 'Hey, look at that dou...naw he's just a gay dude with those bedazzled True Religions.'
@don't wheeze
The term "pedophile" has been extended in recent years to mean sexually interested in someone younger than 18, but in reality, it is defined as being sexually interested in somebody who is pre-pubescent. While middle hott might still be in the gray area by either definition, I think we can agree that far right hott is definitely post-pubescent. While one can certainly argue that both legally and ethically, she might be a no-no, I believe it is wrong to deny one's perfectly healthy sexual fantasies, especially since no reputable doctor would find them pathological. Acting on them might be bad, but thinking, not so.
And when you think about it, it wasn't that long ago that they would have both been considered marrying/child-having age. In today's world, children are no longer expected to work in a coal mine or get married at age 14. Many consider this to be a leap forward in humanitarian thinking, allowing the idea of "childhood" to actually exist.
On the other hand, not forcing 14 year olds to work in a mine and/or get married is what has allowed every picture on this site to be taken.
Progress? I leave that to you, dear reader, to judge.
The term "pedophile" has been extended in recent years to mean sexually interested in someone younger than 18, but in reality, it is defined as being sexually interested in somebody who is pre-pubescent. While middle hott might still be in the gray area by either definition, I think we can agree that far right hott is definitely post-pubescent. While one can certainly argue that both legally and ethically, she might be a no-no, I believe it is wrong to deny one's perfectly healthy sexual fantasies, especially since no reputable doctor would find them pathological. Acting on them might be bad, but thinking, not so.
And when you think about it, it wasn't that long ago that they would have both been considered marrying/child-having age. In today's world, children are no longer expected to work in a coal mine or get married at age 14. Many consider this to be a leap forward in humanitarian thinking, allowing the idea of "childhood" to actually exist.
On the other hand, not forcing 14 year olds to work in a mine and/or get married is what has allowed every picture on this site to be taken.
Progress? I leave that to you, dear reader, to judge.
Chumlee. He makes me the angriest and really, that is the main criteria for this, right?
# posted by : 8:08 AM
: 8:08 AM
yes, anger is one of the main reactionary signs that you are indeed looking at a douchebag. the following is a list of other signs:
1. gas
2. twitching of the eye
3. laughing out loud
4. Tourette Syndrome outbreak
5. vomiting
6. sharting
7. an uncontrollable shaking of the head in the 'NO' motion
8. pointing to your abs or penis
9. ordering a #6 at Wendy's and then throwing it out of your moving car.
10. dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween.
1. gas
2. twitching of the eye
3. laughing out loud
4. Tourette Syndrome outbreak
5. vomiting
6. sharting
7. an uncontrollable shaking of the head in the 'NO' motion
8. pointing to your abs or penis
9. ordering a #6 at Wendy's and then throwing it out of your moving car.
10. dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween.
# posted by : 8:14 AM
: 8:14 AM
@ pfah, 8:14 a.m. -
[2. twitching of the eye]
That also means one has recently been crying, probably after reading scathing comments from one's "haterz."
Hopefully, DJ Bello had an epiphany and is pissed at himself for being a choad, but I digress.....
[2. twitching of the eye]
That also means one has recently been crying, probably after reading scathing comments from one's "haterz."
Hopefully, DJ Bello had an epiphany and is pissed at himself for being a choad, but I digress.....
@Mr. White, 8:08 a.m. -
I understand your point, though I guess this is one area where I like having certainty. Yet, I have full confidence in all the photos' subjects being 18+ as I'm quite sure DB1 checks on that sort of thing.
I guess I just like to err on the side of caution - if they look under 20, maybe it's better to not touch it. I don't expect anyone else to think that way, though.
I understand your point, though I guess this is one area where I like having certainty. Yet, I have full confidence in all the photos' subjects being 18+ as I'm quite sure DB1 checks on that sort of thing.
I guess I just like to err on the side of caution - if they look under 20, maybe it's better to not touch it. I don't expect anyone else to think that way, though.
@Don't wheeze the douche!...exactly. and don't forget about the dramatic 'drag of the cigarette' utilized by Ms. Bello.
# posted by : 8:22 AM
: 8:22 AM
when i was 28, i was dating a 19 year-old. she was wise beyond her years, and i was psyched.
# posted by : 8:27 AM
: 8:27 AM
I think I'll go with....
CHUMLEE!
Since he really is a douchebag and his hott is really hot!
Now if it were Moderatelygoodlookingchickswithsteroidfreakswithsmallweenies.com I would vote totally different.
CHUMLEE!
Since he really is a douchebag and his hott is really hot!
Now if it were Moderatelygoodlookingchickswithsteroidfreakswithsmallweenies.com I would vote totally different.
# posted by : 8:31 AM
: 8:31 AM
since voting is on the mind and chumlee should win this in a landslide, I'd rather submit a write in for Toxic Mess- a truly disturbing look at douchebaggery.
Is there a special Douche of the Month next week to coincide with elections? My early voting is already in and I want to re-elect Joey P as Douche of the Year with ScroteBoy as his running mate.
Is there a special Douche of the Month next week to coincide with elections? My early voting is already in and I want to re-elect Joey P as Douche of the Year with ScroteBoy as his running mate.
# posted by : 8:32 AM
: 8:32 AM
Chumlee FTW
Last week's crew was weak, IMHO
We rebounded nicely with this weeks nominees. And when I say rebound, I'm talking about the Hotts unreal side/everything boobs.
Bounce a quarter off those suckers and you'll get more height than the Sears tower.
As for the Douche, an extra Hot Hott always makes his job easier for HCwDBoTW competition, but he brings it. With stupid finger pose, the sneer, the "almost a man" stache, and aborted head condom and/or mandanna. This guy makes me want to steal Ryan Howards bat (taking the risk of death) and beat him to a pulp.
Douche-o-Rama
CDC
Last week's crew was weak, IMHO
We rebounded nicely with this weeks nominees. And when I say rebound, I'm talking about the Hotts unreal side/everything boobs.
Bounce a quarter off those suckers and you'll get more height than the Sears tower.
As for the Douche, an extra Hot Hott always makes his job easier for HCwDBoTW competition, but he brings it. With stupid finger pose, the sneer, the "almost a man" stache, and aborted head condom and/or mandanna. This guy makes me want to steal Ryan Howards bat (taking the risk of death) and beat him to a pulp.
Douche-o-Rama
CDC
# posted by : 8:34 AM
: 8:34 AM
this is the first tough one in a few weeks. all are equally mock-worthy.
On the one hand you have the italian sausage, although if it wasn't for the finger pointing at the pinky I'd be tempted to give him a nottadouche pass ala Jared from Subway. I like to think that 18 months ago this guy was so fat he couldn't fit through a doorway, and so is rightly proud of his speedoed body. However, he IS pointing at his pecker.
Kreepy is...well fuck, the name says everything you need to know. he's a creepy creepy pervert and will stick his weewee straight through skinny blonde to molest sweet sweet booby brunette.
And chumlee is just a mess. it's like a guido bag and a hollywood bag mated and then the kid exploded. It's just wrong.
because all three of these bags are equally baggy, I think this week the vote has to go to the hottest hot.
So congratulations Kreepy. I would gladly leave the country, get a fake ID saying I am Umberto the Uruguayan Umbrella boy for the chance to lower the umbrella native hottmerican sat under near the pool 17 days before.
Kreepy FTW.
On the one hand you have the italian sausage, although if it wasn't for the finger pointing at the pinky I'd be tempted to give him a nottadouche pass ala Jared from Subway. I like to think that 18 months ago this guy was so fat he couldn't fit through a doorway, and so is rightly proud of his speedoed body. However, he IS pointing at his pecker.
Kreepy is...well fuck, the name says everything you need to know. he's a creepy creepy pervert and will stick his weewee straight through skinny blonde to molest sweet sweet booby brunette.
And chumlee is just a mess. it's like a guido bag and a hollywood bag mated and then the kid exploded. It's just wrong.
because all three of these bags are equally baggy, I think this week the vote has to go to the hottest hot.
So congratulations Kreepy. I would gladly leave the country, get a fake ID saying I am Umberto the Uruguayan Umbrella boy for the chance to lower the umbrella native hottmerican sat under near the pool 17 days before.
Kreepy FTW.
This is really a two-bag race. Grower vs. shower. Cocktail weenie vs. cock-sure.
As much as I'd like to vote for Guido Sardouchey, I don't believe he truly personifies "db." He is something much, much more twisted and insecure.
So my chad hangs in favor of Chumlee.
Holla!
As much as I'd like to vote for Guido Sardouchey, I don't believe he truly personifies "db." He is something much, much more twisted and insecure.
So my chad hangs in favor of Chumlee.
Holla!
# posted by : 8:39 AM
: 8:39 AM
To Mr. White’s point, it’s obvious that Italian Sausage’s testes have dropped yet, so no one should be voting for that poor boy. Though I’d like to spank his Asian counterpart with salami.
I’ll go with Chumlee. His face deserves a good disfiguring via car accident; and she deserves to have my car parked non-accidently inside her figure.
I’ll go with Chumlee. His face deserves a good disfiguring via car accident; and she deserves to have my car parked non-accidently inside her figure.
Chumlee's the biggest douche, but I can't get past the idea that Beatrice is probably packing some hefty haunches off camera.
So I'm going with Italian Sausage and Asian Melon Salad ... although the name is an insult to sausage everywhere. He's a tanning salon old-bag greaseball who's inexplicably proud of his pygmy pecker, and she is yummier than the spicy shredded beef I reheated for lunch yesterday.
So I'm going with Italian Sausage and Asian Melon Salad ... although the name is an insult to sausage everywhere. He's a tanning salon old-bag greaseball who's inexplicably proud of his pygmy pecker, and she is yummier than the spicy shredded beef I reheated for lunch yesterday.
@pfah-
when i was 20 i dated a 37 year old. and by dated i mean she was hot, she bought me things, and she got me drunk in her apartment before long nights of love making. and by love making i mean banging like high school students until she sent me home at 430 in the morning so her kid wouldn't see me.
she was NOT wise beyond her years.
when i was 20 i dated a 37 year old. and by dated i mean she was hot, she bought me things, and she got me drunk in her apartment before long nights of love making. and by love making i mean banging like high school students until she sent me home at 430 in the morning so her kid wouldn't see me.
she was NOT wise beyond her years.
Chumlee FTW.
The kreep is just a skinny drug addict and his hots are only 6's at best.
The Italian Sausage is a friendless narcissist and is no real threat.
The kreep is just a skinny drug addict and his hots are only 6's at best.
The Italian Sausage is a friendless narcissist and is no real threat.
# posted by : 8:52 AM
: 8:52 AM
What a horrible weekly! But Chumlee takes the cake this week because of the hott. Chumlee FTW.
# posted by : 8:52 AM
: 8:52 AM
Shes super hote and he's a small weeny turd bag look at her perfect T&A ration plus shes asian what are you kidding me yeah this ones a winner
# posted by : 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
@Douchelexic....wow. you had yourself a Mrs. Robinson my friend. your closing sentence made me spit coffee on my monitor. well done.
# posted by : 8:58 AM
: 8:58 AM
Mr Chumlee exudes doucheness like the smell of bleach wafts off his poo stained undergarments.
# posted by : 9:00 AM
: 9:00 AM
Mr Chumlee exudes doucheness like the smell of bleach wafts off his poo stained undergarments.
# posted by : 9:00 AM
: 9:00 AM
@Pfah, nice and comprehensive list.
@Don't wheeze: We can only hope that DJ Chodelink has that epiphany.
On to the voting. My first inclination was to go with Kreep, as there are 2 hotts there. Upon further investigation, the lack of ANY semblance ob boobies on middle chick scares me. And by "scares" I mean makes my manhood shrivel. Therefore, I cannot in good conscience vote for Kreep-meister.
I then moved on to the Asian Melon-osity and ol' shrivel wanker. I have a vested interest, as my haiku made the front page Her boobies are quite yummy, but I had to compare to Chumlee's hott, and simply put, I can see MORE of Chumlee's hott's boobies. Sideboob and underboob shots are very much weaknesses of mine.
Therefore, I MUST go with Chumlee FTW. More visible (and ample) boob=happy pants. That, and Chumlee resembles what I just flushed.
@Don't wheeze: We can only hope that DJ Chodelink has that epiphany.
On to the voting. My first inclination was to go with Kreep, as there are 2 hotts there. Upon further investigation, the lack of ANY semblance ob boobies on middle chick scares me. And by "scares" I mean makes my manhood shrivel. Therefore, I cannot in good conscience vote for Kreep-meister.
I then moved on to the Asian Melon-osity and ol' shrivel wanker. I have a vested interest, as my haiku made the front page Her boobies are quite yummy, but I had to compare to Chumlee's hott, and simply put, I can see MORE of Chumlee's hott's boobies. Sideboob and underboob shots are very much weaknesses of mine.
Therefore, I MUST go with Chumlee FTW. More visible (and ample) boob=happy pants. That, and Chumlee resembles what I just flushed.
What wins... self-conscious douche (chumlee) or walking-excrement douche (the kreep).
This week, I say it goes to self-conscious.
Chumlee gets my vote (to be kicked in the balls repeatedly).
This week, I say it goes to self-conscious.
Chumlee gets my vote (to be kicked in the balls repeatedly).
# posted by : 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
Well, the douches are all hate-worthy. And the hotts are all respectable (with the exception of the cadaver between The Kreep and his 1/4 Sacagawea).
The more I lok at them, and like all of you, I cannot stop looking. My vote goes to Chumlee.
His fake Rastafarian head cover, reverse Rasheed Wallace silver hair patch, wispy 14 year olds attempt at scaping his weak chin, sloped nose, scraf and a somewhat innovative take on a bag gesture. He is simultaneoulsy pointing at his silver hair thing, while combining a point to the hotts face, and a subtle "thumb against the lips" as if to suggest she will be heading down south later.
While pointing at the cocktail weenie makes him a douche of larger proportions, his hott simply does not raise the flag for me.
And Kreep is just an idiot. A drunk, high, sloppy, tattooed idiot who stumbled into a picture with a hott and a skeleton.
Chumlee (to the detriment of this world) FTW.
The more I lok at them, and like all of you, I cannot stop looking. My vote goes to Chumlee.
His fake Rastafarian head cover, reverse Rasheed Wallace silver hair patch, wispy 14 year olds attempt at scaping his weak chin, sloped nose, scraf and a somewhat innovative take on a bag gesture. He is simultaneoulsy pointing at his silver hair thing, while combining a point to the hotts face, and a subtle "thumb against the lips" as if to suggest she will be heading down south later.
While pointing at the cocktail weenie makes him a douche of larger proportions, his hott simply does not raise the flag for me.
And Kreep is just an idiot. A drunk, high, sloppy, tattooed idiot who stumbled into a picture with a hott and a skeleton.
Chumlee (to the detriment of this world) FTW.
# posted by : 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
it makes me sad that it appears chumlee is going to win.
@pfah-
I've learned that i need to not drink my coffee while i read the posts here.
also, your concern for mary's garden is quite admirable. you're a gentleman and a scholar my friend.
@pfah-
I've learned that i need to not drink my coffee while i read the posts here.
also, your concern for mary's garden is quite admirable. you're a gentleman and a scholar my friend.
When all you need is a speedo and a crotch-point to bring the douche, that's gotta be enough for a weekly.
Italian Sausage +1
Italian Sausage +1
# posted by : 9:10 AM
: 9:10 AM
I'm going to have to go with the sausage. Why, you ask? Because he could have just put his hand on his hip, but God bless/curse him, he chose not to....
# posted by : 9:11 AM
: 9:11 AM
Chumlee, gotta be.
The Kreep just sucks, and has about a 75% margin of hottness on the ladies.
The Italian Sausage is just being a typical Italian... well sausage. And by sausage I mean hysterical teenie weenie that leads me to believe it's the flag he's so damn proud of. His hott is marginal at best, especially for an Asian girl. (as a man living in Japan I have high standards on this, she does not pass)
Chumly has balance, also known in more esoteric terms as poo.
...and his hot looks incredibly pokeable.
The Kreep just sucks, and has about a 75% margin of hottness on the ladies.
The Italian Sausage is just being a typical Italian... well sausage. And by sausage I mean hysterical teenie weenie that leads me to believe it's the flag he's so damn proud of. His hott is marginal at best, especially for an Asian girl. (as a man living in Japan I have high standards on this, she does not pass)
Chumly has balance, also known in more esoteric terms as poo.
...and his hot looks incredibly pokeable.
# posted by : 9:14 AM
: 9:14 AM
Chumlee for all that is unholy in this world, it's things like Chumlee, and children with cancer that make me question God.
# posted by : 9:15 AM
: 9:15 AM
Chumlee...no contest.
The Kreep is douchey and does have one hott present...but neither match Chumlee.
The Italian Sausage (aka Little Smokey) really isn't a douche in the classical sense. Unless every overly athletic guy in Europe is considered a douche. Shin-Lau is wearing far too many clothes. What kind of a world do we live in where Little Smokey is showing more skin than the hott?
Chumlee = douche = win.
The Kreep is douchey and does have one hott present...but neither match Chumlee.
The Italian Sausage (aka Little Smokey) really isn't a douche in the classical sense. Unless every overly athletic guy in Europe is considered a douche. Shin-Lau is wearing far too many clothes. What kind of a world do we live in where Little Smokey is showing more skin than the hott?
Chumlee = douche = win.
# posted by : 9:24 AM
: 9:24 AM
I was going to vote the Kreep but Chumlees super douchey Vogue hands make me want to fart in his general direction.
Chumlee is douchey
Chumlee is douchey
# posted by : 9:33 AM
: 9:33 AM
@douchelexic
I understand about not drinking coffee. I work in a large project "war room" and find that I have to bite my lip in order to not laugh out loud as a I read comments on this site.
Good stuff everyone. Thanks for the fun.
I think that from now on I will point to my junk whenever a camera is pointed my way.
I understand about not drinking coffee. I work in a large project "war room" and find that I have to bite my lip in order to not laugh out loud as a I read comments on this site.
Good stuff everyone. Thanks for the fun.
I think that from now on I will point to my junk whenever a camera is pointed my way.
# posted by : 9:34 AM
: 9:34 AM
Italian sausage man-thing, for sure. He's just too shiny and hairless and grinning inanely and his frock is too small and it's rude to point. Admittedly I've seen hotter Azn hotts, but I wouldn't say no.
# posted by : 9:48 AM
: 9:48 AM
I can't believe Chumlee is going to win this. Sure, he looks like some kind of Renaissance Fair archer-fruit, but c'mon...look at Sazitza Boy! He's pointing at his own Greek olive for God's sake! And by God, I mean Jupiter.
@ bcs 9:03 AM
While watching Men In Black II this past weekend, I noticed a simularity between the Vincent D'Onofrio's babbling alien-in-a-man suit character and Flyteeth.
The garbled ramlbings that semi made sense and the angry, twisted pubic hair snarlings were brought to life.
I chuckled nonstop at that character's dialogue.
That said, there is no douche from last week that is close to Chumlee's orbit. The "I think I'm so hot so I'll pose like a poseur" attitude coupled with that buxom , smooth, grinning babe paints a scene of destruction in my mind to rival a post H-Bomb Nagasaki.
Chumlee deserves his nuts crushed in a table vise.
Chumlee for FTW.
While watching Men In Black II this past weekend, I noticed a simularity between the Vincent D'Onofrio's babbling alien-in-a-man suit character and Flyteeth.
The garbled ramlbings that semi made sense and the angry, twisted pubic hair snarlings were brought to life.
I chuckled nonstop at that character's dialogue.
That said, there is no douche from last week that is close to Chumlee's orbit. The "I think I'm so hot so I'll pose like a poseur" attitude coupled with that buxom , smooth, grinning babe paints a scene of destruction in my mind to rival a post H-Bomb Nagasaki.
Chumlee deserves his nuts crushed in a table vise.
Chumlee for FTW.
The chick in numero tres gives me the creeps. Like she is moving toward me without her feet moving- floating toward me and then will grab my dong and squeeze...HARD...
But maybe that's just me.
If she were to do the same to her frien from Vienna, she would only need to use a thumb and forefinger, a la- puff puff give, puff puff give.
But I digress...
Although Kreepy really did piss me off when I first saw him, and I went on a tirade about girls fucking dudes who were "musicians" regardless of how repulsive they look- Chris Robinson, etc., time has passed and I think he's just an ugly dude trying to find a look that will fit his ugliness. Greasy rocker seems to work as well as any. But yes, bigtime douche.
Having said all that-
the motherfucker with the plunging neckline, gaybag scarf and that little beanhat they wear, coupled with the 70s dance move scissor- across-the-eye look needs to bite the curb. Just like in American History X. I can play Ed Norton, and I don't mean the sewer worker. The Pepe LePew stripe just takes the fucking cake. And as my girfriend would say, "you KNOW he has a tiny dick." Not sure how she knows this but her calls usualyy look reasonable to me in this regard. So with that I give you, for the win,
Chum.
P.S. Amanda- nice pix. You may not be familiar with my various specialties if you have not been on the site for long, but I happen to be a rather important fellow in the movie business. While I cannot mention specifically what major motion pictures I have been involved with, I would be glad to discuss what I believe a fantastic future you would have as an actress in some of my films. I would be glad to visit you at home tonight at around 10:00 p.m. Please do not be taken aback by the ski mask, I am recovering from some kind of accident that would require me to wear a ski-mask. Seeya then.
But maybe that's just me.
If she were to do the same to her frien from Vienna, she would only need to use a thumb and forefinger, a la- puff puff give, puff puff give.
But I digress...
Although Kreepy really did piss me off when I first saw him, and I went on a tirade about girls fucking dudes who were "musicians" regardless of how repulsive they look- Chris Robinson, etc., time has passed and I think he's just an ugly dude trying to find a look that will fit his ugliness. Greasy rocker seems to work as well as any. But yes, bigtime douche.
Having said all that-
the motherfucker with the plunging neckline, gaybag scarf and that little beanhat they wear, coupled with the 70s dance move scissor- across-the-eye look needs to bite the curb. Just like in American History X. I can play Ed Norton, and I don't mean the sewer worker. The Pepe LePew stripe just takes the fucking cake. And as my girfriend would say, "you KNOW he has a tiny dick." Not sure how she knows this but her calls usualyy look reasonable to me in this regard. So with that I give you, for the win,
Chum.
P.S. Amanda- nice pix. You may not be familiar with my various specialties if you have not been on the site for long, but I happen to be a rather important fellow in the movie business. While I cannot mention specifically what major motion pictures I have been involved with, I would be glad to discuss what I believe a fantastic future you would have as an actress in some of my films. I would be glad to visit you at home tonight at around 10:00 p.m. Please do not be taken aback by the ski mask, I am recovering from some kind of accident that would require me to wear a ski-mask. Seeya then.
Chumlee's the only one that really qualifies..
Sausage is a bodybuilder competitor, purposely tanned/greased/shaved for competition and is backstage..
Kreep is just a long hair, cap is not tilted, he's half asleep or high, likely poolside or in a tent in the desert waiting to get back on the drums for the next set...
Chumlees even medium to mild in comparison to the go to bags, but the sign, smirk, scarf, and hat with some sort of side strap puts him over.. Up against heavier comp this wouldn't be his week, but this week, he reigns burrito supreme...
Sausage is a bodybuilder competitor, purposely tanned/greased/shaved for competition and is backstage..
Kreep is just a long hair, cap is not tilted, he's half asleep or high, likely poolside or in a tent in the desert waiting to get back on the drums for the next set...
Chumlees even medium to mild in comparison to the go to bags, but the sign, smirk, scarf, and hat with some sort of side strap puts him over.. Up against heavier comp this wouldn't be his week, but this week, he reigns burrito supreme...
# posted by : 10:02 AM
: 10:02 AM
italian sausage FTW. this asian hott strikes my fancy on a level that makes me draw mustaches on all of my fingers in hopes that one of them impresses her enough to let steal her baby cones from wendy's.
# posted by : 10:07 AM
: 10:07 AM
Amanda can take some razzing.
She's got some good comments and comeback lines and if you are in Hollywood, you get jaded in a hurry.
Amanda FTW , I mean , uh, ....
Nevermind
She's got some good comments and comeback lines and if you are in Hollywood, you get jaded in a hurry.
Amanda FTW , I mean , uh, ....
Nevermind
Oh, what meager offerings there are this week. Chumlee gets my vote, because he drips the choadish attitude I've learned to detect, and because he is in the presence of some damn fine boobies. The Kreep looks kreepy more than scrotewanky, and I almost argued for a nottadouche pass for Sausage, thinking he might be a body builder or an athlete ... until I saw him pointing. At his junk. But that's not enough to overcome Chumlee's slapworthy smarminess.
# posted by : 10:11 AM
: 10:11 AM
Are you kidding? It's not even close. Italian Sausage is OILED. And Shin-Lau's back is ARCHED. I would lovingly awaken and floss a grizzly bear during hibernation just for the chance to find her leftover Snicker's bar wrapper in the bear's jaws.
And by that, I mean I would like to participate in sexual congress with her.
Also, Sausage is pointing at his weenor. If he doesn't win, I'm calling for a recount.
And by that, I mean I would like to participate in sexual congress with her.
Also, Sausage is pointing at his weenor. If he doesn't win, I'm calling for a recount.
# posted by : 10:12 AM
: 10:12 AM
Tough tough call with each one offering something different than the others.
The responsibilities of an incorrect vote are too great so I am electing to spoil my ballot.
kingcityDouche
The responsibilities of an incorrect vote are too great so I am electing to spoil my ballot.
kingcityDouche
# posted by : 10:13 AM
: 10:13 AM
Chumlee, FTW. I'm going to go squat in a corner and cry now. Then daydream of fondling CL hot's sideboob and giving it chafe marks from my 5 o'clock shadow rubbing on it. Of course I a Betty Boop blow up doll might have to suffice for now. ...how depressing. Time to cry now.
Chumlee, FTW. I'm going to go squat in a corner and cry now. Then daydream of fondling CL hot's sideboob and giving it chafe marks from my 5 o'clock shadow rubbing on it. Of course I a Betty Boop blow up doll might have to suffice for now. ...how depressing. Time to cry now.
I have to go with Chumlee.
While I disagree with the existence of Italian Sausage, he does not adhere to the typical rigorous standards of douche. No scrotal patches, no erroneous accessories, no absurd tattoos.
He does have the point to his Italian-flagged speedo though. Also, I don't think his hott is that hot.
The Kreep is pretty douchey. Praying hands with a rosary tattooed on his pec. But the piercings and hairy take us back to the grunge era. That and he's doesn't have to turn sideways to fit threw a door frame, or get his hotts to put a shirt on because he can't lift his arms above his head.
That said, Chumlee is the winner. He has the ridiculously hipster scarf for chrissake. The matching beanie, and the shirt that shows off his man-cleavage. The silver hair. His man-ring and whatever the hell he has around his neck. The hand-gesture is the epitome of douche. His scrotal hair made me shave this morning. His hott is hot. Chumlee ftw.
While I disagree with the existence of Italian Sausage, he does not adhere to the typical rigorous standards of douche. No scrotal patches, no erroneous accessories, no absurd tattoos.
He does have the point to his Italian-flagged speedo though. Also, I don't think his hott is that hot.
The Kreep is pretty douchey. Praying hands with a rosary tattooed on his pec. But the piercings and hairy take us back to the grunge era. That and he's doesn't have to turn sideways to fit threw a door frame, or get his hotts to put a shirt on because he can't lift his arms above his head.
That said, Chumlee is the winner. He has the ridiculously hipster scarf for chrissake. The matching beanie, and the shirt that shows off his man-cleavage. The silver hair. His man-ring and whatever the hell he has around his neck. The hand-gesture is the epitome of douche. His scrotal hair made me shave this morning. His hott is hot. Chumlee ftw.
# posted by : 10:33 AM
: 10:33 AM
Meh, another weak...week in the...weekly.
Italian sausage has the most delectable hot in my opinion. There's just something about Asian hotts that just does it for me. I didn't think the guy was a douche until I say him pointing at his flag pole. I mean, it could just be a point at his flag, but the flag is on his dick so that is just wrong.
The Kreep just looks a Phil Anselmo wanna be. And while his girls got curveless rails for bodies, they got kind faces...kind-a faces I'd like to fuck. But, it's just not there for me. He actually looks like he'd be alright to hang out with. Kick back and listen to some Down or Pantera.
Chumlee would lose in other weekly's. I don't think his hott is that great. She has a nice rack and a cute smile, but I dunno, she's just not doing it for me. He on the other hand is probably just drunk, but he was definitely sober when he chose that outfit. The very low cut shirt, scarf, and "artsy" hat. It also seems like he has gray hair that he's trying to conceal.
It's him, or the Italian. So I dunno. I guess I'll go with Chumlee cause he seems to be ahead anyway. And just pointing at your steroid shriveled dick isn't douchey enough.
Italian sausage has the most delectable hot in my opinion. There's just something about Asian hotts that just does it for me. I didn't think the guy was a douche until I say him pointing at his flag pole. I mean, it could just be a point at his flag, but the flag is on his dick so that is just wrong.
The Kreep just looks a Phil Anselmo wanna be. And while his girls got curveless rails for bodies, they got kind faces...kind-a faces I'd like to fuck. But, it's just not there for me. He actually looks like he'd be alright to hang out with. Kick back and listen to some Down or Pantera.
Chumlee would lose in other weekly's. I don't think his hott is that great. She has a nice rack and a cute smile, but I dunno, she's just not doing it for me. He on the other hand is probably just drunk, but he was definitely sober when he chose that outfit. The very low cut shirt, scarf, and "artsy" hat. It also seems like he has gray hair that he's trying to conceal.
It's him, or the Italian. So I dunno. I guess I'll go with Chumlee cause he seems to be ahead anyway. And just pointing at your steroid shriveled dick isn't douchey enough.
My vote is for Italian Sausage. Kreep is trying too hard, and Chumlee simply isn't douchey enough.
# posted by : 10:36 AM
: 10:36 AM
Samurai Scrote does not chew his food, he kegels it in his esophagus snake-style. It pops out of his asshole with indentations on it like handlebars on a kid's bike.
Shit wrong thread
So what happened to the Blogger's little trash can thingy that lets one erase embarrassing fuck ups after you post them?
and by "one" I mean elastic snap hole.
So what happened to the Blogger's little trash can thingy that lets one erase embarrassing fuck ups after you post them?
and by "one" I mean elastic snap hole.
First off, why is Italian Sausage even in the running? Judging by the tag around Shin's neck, this picture was clearly taken at some sort of competition. Shirt douche happens at body building competitions. And he's not pointing at his shriveled steroid abused genitals. He's just proud of his shave job.
Now Chumlee. Fuck. The hat. The tiny scarf that's untied and worn indoors with his short sleeved shirt. He's combines just the right amount of retro post-modernist asshole with hipster subtlety to be legally fed to a wood chipper.
Also: sideboob sideboob sideboob sideboob.
Now Chumlee. Fuck. The hat. The tiny scarf that's untied and worn indoors with his short sleeved shirt. He's combines just the right amount of retro post-modernist asshole with hipster subtlety to be legally fed to a wood chipper.
Also: sideboob sideboob sideboob sideboob.
Chumlee brings out tremendous feelings of anger but the Italian Sausage is the funniest picture I've ever seen so I have to give the Sausage & Melon salad the nod FTW. The Kreep doesn't even belong in the same conversation.
# posted by : 11:12 AM
: 11:12 AM
Gotta be Chumlee for the win. The Kreep is not a douchebag...he's not even a human. The Italian Sausage is a cheeseball, but the absence of tatts, hand gestures and the pucker...I have to give him a nottadouche. Close but no cigar.
Chumlee on the other hand makes me want to punch things. And by things, I mean his face. The hand gesture. The surfer necklace, the "I'm too cool for this hot chick" look. I. Want. To. Punch. Him. Over. and. Over.
Chumlee on the other hand makes me want to punch things. And by things, I mean his face. The hand gesture. The surfer necklace, the "I'm too cool for this hot chick" look. I. Want. To. Punch. Him. Over. and. Over.
# posted by : 11:16 AM
: 11:16 AM
I have to say chumlee. Its a close grab between him at that vienna sausage stroke, but Chumlee takes it for me by a smidgen. Its probably because you just know he has one hell of a harsh lisp. And a fairy-esque douchebag who can't say "sufferin' succotash" without biting chunks of his tongue off is hilarious in my book.
-Ponderonymous
-Ponderonymous
# posted by : 11:21 AM
: 11:21 AM
Damn, I wrote a huge treatise which Blogger has cast into the aether, but, yeh--
The Kreep is yucky, and well I like the one in the middle-- just have a thing for petite, lithe, bronzed, and blonde-- but, despite evoking a bile tinged guffaw, his hat is not tilted. So while his zombiriffic expression, odious nosebling and hint of douchepit jungle are scrotetacular, he's just kind of choady, and this photo is not as nauseating as the one featuring the Sausage with a side of Pad Thai.
Yet, I concur with the view that the Italian Scallion is in a purposefully performative scenario, and he and the lovely lotus blossom are mostly hamming, (that is, prosciuttoing) it up.
Because, although pointing. at. his. pepperoni. he is smiling. Is the intent to indicate pride in his heritage, or to demonstrate the effects of steroidinal drugs? Who can say.
Whereas Chumlee is conclusively smarmlipping, as if some douchebaglionic hand gesture will secure his right to belong in the same frame as the luminous blue side boobage known as 'Beatrice'.
Moreover, I wanna see Chumlee's Peeking Schmuck style go up against The Last Dragon' Snot Fu.
SO, Chumlee FTW.
--VS
The Kreep is yucky, and well I like the one in the middle-- just have a thing for petite, lithe, bronzed, and blonde-- but, despite evoking a bile tinged guffaw, his hat is not tilted. So while his zombiriffic expression, odious nosebling and hint of douchepit jungle are scrotetacular, he's just kind of choady, and this photo is not as nauseating as the one featuring the Sausage with a side of Pad Thai.
Yet, I concur with the view that the Italian Scallion is in a purposefully performative scenario, and he and the lovely lotus blossom are mostly hamming, (that is, prosciuttoing) it up.
Because, although pointing. at. his. pepperoni. he is smiling. Is the intent to indicate pride in his heritage, or to demonstrate the effects of steroidinal drugs? Who can say.
Whereas Chumlee is conclusively smarmlipping, as if some douchebaglionic hand gesture will secure his right to belong in the same frame as the luminous blue side boobage known as 'Beatrice'.
Moreover, I wanna see Chumlee's Peeking Schmuck style go up against The Last Dragon' Snot Fu.
SO, Chumlee FTW.
--VS
# posted by : 11:29 AM
: 11:29 AM
Ok, I've been gone for a few days this past week. One of my friends passed away and I had to attend her funeral, she was only 22, I've been quite sad. Then, at her funeral I became angry as there were at least three total Douchebags in attendance. I mean what kind of world is this that you have to make sure your multi-colored faux hawk is perfect and your guyliner pristine to go to a funeral! Unreal...anyways I'm back, and barely restrained the urge to punchify said douches. And here it's Monday, which means I must vote uponst even more aggravating douches...so I'll attempt to hold down my lunch in the process.
The Kreep needs to just stay off the drugs, his mild doucheitude pales in comparison to...
The Italian Sausage and Asian Mellon Salad, who while she explains the reason it's called Bangkok, I believe he should've been called Peanut. And mine eyes needeth more bleach...
Chumlee takes the cake though. And by cake I mean voluptuous sensual scissor move sideboob cheese eating ratatdouchie sneer.
Chumlee FTW!
The Kreep needs to just stay off the drugs, his mild doucheitude pales in comparison to...
The Italian Sausage and Asian Mellon Salad, who while she explains the reason it's called Bangkok, I believe he should've been called Peanut. And mine eyes needeth more bleach...
Chumlee takes the cake though. And by cake I mean voluptuous sensual scissor move sideboob cheese eating ratatdouchie sneer.
Chumlee FTW!
@Jean Claude Van Douche....sorry to hear about your loss my friend. good to have you back.
# posted by : 11:39 AM
: 11:39 AM
Well, after careful deliberation, I have to cast my vote for Chumlee. And by "cast my vote" I mean gag up that sweet-ass burger I just destroyed while sitting here.
I'm hypnotized by the V-neck and the shaved chest. The shaved chest, for chrissakes. I never thought I would live to see the day where a woman was in danger of a man using her razor. The time has come, the apocalypse is upon us in this most perilous reversal of fortune. Tonight I will be in bed with a death grip on my Venus 3 and Peach-scented Skintimate shave gel, sobbing and whispering prayers of repentance. But I digress.
The finger gesture. What is that? do we have a moniker for this sily symbol yet? It may represent a pair of open female legs? However, on closer observation, the thumb working its way to the corner of his mouth suggests a cock, the other two fingers are the stiffies waiting in the wings for their position on the Fellatio Express.
And as far as questioning the possible size of Beatrice's unseen caboose, let us remember that HCWDB is not founded on principles of speculation and theorizing, but on hard evidence. In this case, silky, bouncy evidence. If we stick to what is encased in the frame, we see a glorious display of siiiiiiiidebooooooooob. I would snuggle down on those pillows and coo contentedly. That doesn't make me gay. That makes me awesome.
Chumlee FTW!
I'm hypnotized by the V-neck and the shaved chest. The shaved chest, for chrissakes. I never thought I would live to see the day where a woman was in danger of a man using her razor. The time has come, the apocalypse is upon us in this most perilous reversal of fortune. Tonight I will be in bed with a death grip on my Venus 3 and Peach-scented Skintimate shave gel, sobbing and whispering prayers of repentance. But I digress.
The finger gesture. What is that? do we have a moniker for this sily symbol yet? It may represent a pair of open female legs? However, on closer observation, the thumb working its way to the corner of his mouth suggests a cock, the other two fingers are the stiffies waiting in the wings for their position on the Fellatio Express.
And as far as questioning the possible size of Beatrice's unseen caboose, let us remember that HCWDB is not founded on principles of speculation and theorizing, but on hard evidence. In this case, silky, bouncy evidence. If we stick to what is encased in the frame, we see a glorious display of siiiiiiiidebooooooooob. I would snuggle down on those pillows and coo contentedly. That doesn't make me gay. That makes me awesome.
Chumlee FTW!
# posted by : 11:41 AM
: 11:41 AM
While I would never willingly disparage db1's 'bag classification, I do feel it necessary to point out the difference, IMHO, between a douchebag and a loser. Chumlee is a db, to wit: the etched hair, the smug kisseepoo expression, the gang sign, the tiny muffler, this goes without saying, of course, he's the reason we are here, he and his sweet, sweet prom date.
the kreep on the other hand is just a loser. plain and simple. No amount of hottage is going to raise him from the depths of his self-loathing, clear (for god's sake clear) cup carrying, shirtless-so-you-can-see-my-peanut-allergy-rash loserdom.
Italian sausage is just 'the Rock' without the steroids. with the steroids he's a db contender, but as is he's just a happy middle-aged
gym rat posing with his beard (and by beard i mean craig's list hooker he hired to stand for a pic he can send to his folks so they don't die thinking he's gay)
Chumlee FTW
the kreep on the other hand is just a loser. plain and simple. No amount of hottage is going to raise him from the depths of his self-loathing, clear (for god's sake clear) cup carrying, shirtless-so-you-can-see-my-peanut-allergy-rash loserdom.
Italian sausage is just 'the Rock' without the steroids. with the steroids he's a db contender, but as is he's just a happy middle-aged
gym rat posing with his beard (and by beard i mean craig's list hooker he hired to stand for a pic he can send to his folks so they don't die thinking he's gay)
Chumlee FTW
Thanks guys, yea It's good to be back, I can relieve some tension by staring at the boobies, and take out my anger with some ultra mockage upon such deserved 'baggage.
Tough choice this week... Tough. But I'm gonna shy away from a more traditional style douche and give my vote to The Kreep. "He is a loathsome, offensive brute... yet I cannot look away".
Chumlee's hot is the most boobtastic, but man cannot live on boobs alone. Wait! What am I saying? Of course man can live on boobs alone.
But to aid the case for his DoTW conviction, I present Exhibits A-F:
A. scarf
B. face pubes
C. scissor-eye hand thing
D. choker necklace
E. stupid hat
F. D-neck tshirt
I see no other verdict, than Chumlee FTW.
-WE ARE! DOUCHEBAGS!
But to aid the case for his DoTW conviction, I present Exhibits A-F:
A. scarf
B. face pubes
C. scissor-eye hand thing
D. choker necklace
E. stupid hat
F. D-neck tshirt
I see no other verdict, than Chumlee FTW.
-WE ARE! DOUCHEBAGS!
# posted by : 12:02 PM
: 12:02 PM
chumlee - may he die a slow and terrible death, and may it somehow be related to scissors.
# posted by : 12:23 PM
: 12:23 PM
I send my regards to you and your friend Jean Claude. Incredible restraint on your part.
# posted by : 12:47 PM
: 12:47 PM
@ripwild
I also work in a "War Room" A Data Center NOC. Always trying to muffle my unbridled laughter and disgust when I look at the bag hunters trophies. I feel your pain my friend.
I also work in a "War Room" A Data Center NOC. Always trying to muffle my unbridled laughter and disgust when I look at the bag hunters trophies. I feel your pain my friend.
# posted by : 12:50 PM
: 12:50 PM
Hard decision this week. Got to go with the Chumlee on pure knee jerk reaction - Love the hot, Hate the Douche.
# posted by : 12:58 PM
: 12:58 PM
I don't usually argue with other posters' opinions on the weekly voting ... because they're all just opinions ... but I can't help myself this time.
@ Medusa 11:41
I think the size of the visible portion of Beatrice's upper arm, the full cheeks, and the fact that that dress appears to have extra material not just for those admittedly spectacular breastesses, but below them as well, is plenty of evidence of her ampleness. Not that there's anything wrong with that ... there have been last-calls when ... anyway ... IMHO she doesn't rate the second "t" in hott.
@ otto 11:48 and others
How can a completely shaved, greased up, middle-aged pecker-pointer NOT be a douchebag? I don't care that he looks like he's a competitive bodybuilder. Personally, I think bodybuilding in and of itself is douchey. (Just a personal opinion.) But by the time you're into your forties (as this dude appears to be), you are a complete asshat if you still measure your manhood by the number of abdominal muscles someone can count when you flex. And with this douche, obviously, the measurement of his manhood would have to be in millimeters.
@ Medusa 11:41
I think the size of the visible portion of Beatrice's upper arm, the full cheeks, and the fact that that dress appears to have extra material not just for those admittedly spectacular breastesses, but below them as well, is plenty of evidence of her ampleness. Not that there's anything wrong with that ... there have been last-calls when ... anyway ... IMHO she doesn't rate the second "t" in hott.
@ otto 11:48 and others
How can a completely shaved, greased up, middle-aged pecker-pointer NOT be a douchebag? I don't care that he looks like he's a competitive bodybuilder. Personally, I think bodybuilding in and of itself is douchey. (Just a personal opinion.) But by the time you're into your forties (as this dude appears to be), you are a complete asshat if you still measure your manhood by the number of abdominal muscles someone can count when you flex. And with this douche, obviously, the measurement of his manhood would have to be in millimeters.
I have not voted often, but I feel I must this week because you have three such worthy candidates, yet one very, very clear winner, Chumlee. What the eff is that hand gesture. Combine it with the other douchebag things about him . . . everything . . . and you have what should be a landslide winner. Italian sausage/Asian salad is more funny than anything, and besides, though bodybuilding can be douchey, looking the way he does is just what bodybuilders are required to do. Nonetheless, it should come down to who the non-dbag would most like to take a swing at (or hope the dbag swings at him so the non-dbag can swing back with less chance of liability) and that is Chumlee, hands down. Not to mention the melons on Beatrice are ridiculous.
# posted by : 1:10 PM
: 1:10 PM
A disappointing week for Hott hunting and as such this competition boils down to the scrote levels of the douchebags involved.
Chumlee has a lot going for him: silver hair dye, an indoor toque, facial hair stolen straight from the chin and lips of a thirteen year old and one of the most ridiculously posed peace signs the Western world has yet seen. And yet, behind his many, overpowering, scrotal layers I sense a sadness in his eyes. An everyman tainted by the all-consuming power of douche culture. You can almost hear him weeping "it only started with the hat."
In The Kreep on the other hand, I sense a narcissistic edge that Chumlee just doesn't bring. When he was sixteen he was cutting himself because he knew it made him hardcore. He spent hours contemplating how to make sure his chin pubes don't conform. And that tattoo, it totally means something, like, deep, right? One can only hope that the camera did not catch him mid-blink, but that he was instead suffering an aneurysm that brought a close to his meaningless, shirtless, existence.
And so we come to The Italian Sausage. There is so much that can be excused in this picture. What seems to be the faint outline of a chinstrap could simply be shadow along his jawline. His near-naked body, his man thong, the oil, all common and understandable for a body-building type. Furthermore his smile could be found in any family photo-album, his hair is in a clean, conservative cut, there are no headbands or wristbands in sight. It's almost as if there is hope for this man.
But the crotch point.
No. No, it cannot be excused, explained or rationalized. In one casual movement, The Sausage has reduced all hope for meaning and purpose in the universe as shriveled and flaccid as his unimpressive nether-regions.
No matter how many intricate layers of choad, douche and scrote Chumlee and The Kreep maintain, nothing they can do or wear will match the soul-crushing power of The Sausage's self-love. The Italian takes it.
Chumlee has a lot going for him: silver hair dye, an indoor toque, facial hair stolen straight from the chin and lips of a thirteen year old and one of the most ridiculously posed peace signs the Western world has yet seen. And yet, behind his many, overpowering, scrotal layers I sense a sadness in his eyes. An everyman tainted by the all-consuming power of douche culture. You can almost hear him weeping "it only started with the hat."
In The Kreep on the other hand, I sense a narcissistic edge that Chumlee just doesn't bring. When he was sixteen he was cutting himself because he knew it made him hardcore. He spent hours contemplating how to make sure his chin pubes don't conform. And that tattoo, it totally means something, like, deep, right? One can only hope that the camera did not catch him mid-blink, but that he was instead suffering an aneurysm that brought a close to his meaningless, shirtless, existence.
And so we come to The Italian Sausage. There is so much that can be excused in this picture. What seems to be the faint outline of a chinstrap could simply be shadow along his jawline. His near-naked body, his man thong, the oil, all common and understandable for a body-building type. Furthermore his smile could be found in any family photo-album, his hair is in a clean, conservative cut, there are no headbands or wristbands in sight. It's almost as if there is hope for this man.
But the crotch point.
No. No, it cannot be excused, explained or rationalized. In one casual movement, The Sausage has reduced all hope for meaning and purpose in the universe as shriveled and flaccid as his unimpressive nether-regions.
No matter how many intricate layers of choad, douche and scrote Chumlee and The Kreep maintain, nothing they can do or wear will match the soul-crushing power of The Sausage's self-love. The Italian takes it.
# posted by : 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
The Kreep does not bother me. Italian Sausage could have an excuse as to why he's dressed like that.
Chumlee is in a league all his own this week. A classic douche/hott dichotomy.
Chumizzle FTW.
Chumlee is in a league all his own this week. A classic douche/hott dichotomy.
Chumizzle FTW.
Tough week this week.
Chumlee Baldwinbag has the advantage of the side-suckle-boobie, but as a douche, he is everydouche. If he was in a line-up of douchebags, he would truly disappear.
Kreep scares me. He scares grown men and tiny rodents. Maybe both at the same time. But again, douchbags like Kreep show up here every now and then.
Italian Sausage, on the other hand, is unique. When else has so much douche been so proud of so little? And his arched-back Asian hott would make Marco Polo raise himself from the dead to walk 10,000 miles just to pasta her won ton.
Italian Sausage gets my vote.
Italian
Chumlee Baldwinbag has the advantage of the side-suckle-boobie, but as a douche, he is everydouche. If he was in a line-up of douchebags, he would truly disappear.
Kreep scares me. He scares grown men and tiny rodents. Maybe both at the same time. But again, douchbags like Kreep show up here every now and then.
Italian Sausage, on the other hand, is unique. When else has so much douche been so proud of so little? And his arched-back Asian hott would make Marco Polo raise himself from the dead to walk 10,000 miles just to pasta her won ton.
Italian Sausage gets my vote.
Italian
# posted by : 2:32 PM
: 2:32 PM
Kreep's hotts are the weakest, but he is the douchiest of the douche. It is for that reason that I must vote for him. Chumlee is just some art school twat that took a picture with his sister's friend, and Italian Sausage, well, I just can't rationally explain that one. Kreep is the winner.
# posted by : 3:22 PM
: 3:22 PM
Why is there even debate? Italian Snausage has out-douched this field.
He's pointing at his wang! There shouldn't even be a choice. That's even worse than pointing at his abs!
He's pointing at his wang! There shouldn't even be a choice. That's even worse than pointing at his abs!
# posted by : 3:23 PM
: 3:23 PM
Gotta be Italian Sausage...I mean, pointing at his junk? Biggest douche move ever.
# posted by : 3:27 PM
: 3:27 PM
Italian Sausage, for the win.
The hott is truly exceptional, in spite of her not-that-revealing clothing, and the douche himself... well I want to slap him across the face with a baby seal.
The hott is truly exceptional, in spite of her not-that-revealing clothing, and the douche himself... well I want to slap him across the face with a baby seal.
# posted by : 3:36 PM
: 3:36 PM
Look, they've all got major issues, but Chumley surely has the classic scrotal profile of an uber-douche.
Kreepy is A grade weird, but not classical douche, and Italian Sausage, while clearly displaying his, err, limitations is not, to my eye anyway, a typical Euro-douche.
So Chumley it is, especially with side boob done medium rare.
Kreepy is A grade weird, but not classical douche, and Italian Sausage, while clearly displaying his, err, limitations is not, to my eye anyway, a typical Euro-douche.
So Chumley it is, especially with side boob done medium rare.
The Kreep isn't getting as big of a response as I had hoped. His hott(s) may look young, but there are wristbands, meaning that either she's old enough to drink, or old enough for a fake ID. The man has a tattoo of what may be the grim fucking reaper holding a damned rosary. He has a nose and lip piercing. He wanders around the pool area pretending to be Cap't Jack Sparrow to lure confused wenches to his side. Kreep FTW.
Chumlee. He's that arrogant French douche who date rapes college sophomore chicks late at night after getting them drunk on some fancy liquor.
Also, boobies.
Also, boobies.
# posted by : 4:23 PM
: 4:23 PM
Chumlee FTW. The Stephen Baldwin clone looks like he's preparing a Moe-Larry-Curly eye poke on Beatrice when his hand should be gravitating a bit lower, if you catch my drift.
The Kreep is not very douchey, just an alterna-tard. Native Hottmerican on the right, however, is wayyy cute and deserves a modeling contract, stat.
The Sausage is obviously at a bodybuilding-type event so he gets a pass--just barely--the pic did kill my appetite. Not sure about Asian Salad. Her upper and lower parts do not look like they go together. Add about 15 lbs to her lower part and she's good to go (home with me).
The Kreep is not very douchey, just an alterna-tard. Native Hottmerican on the right, however, is wayyy cute and deserves a modeling contract, stat.
The Sausage is obviously at a bodybuilding-type event so he gets a pass--just barely--the pic did kill my appetite. Not sure about Asian Salad. Her upper and lower parts do not look like they go together. Add about 15 lbs to her lower part and she's good to go (home with me).
# posted by : 4:28 PM
: 4:28 PM
Regrettably, there is only one douchebags amongst the three.
Italian Sausage, though extremely disturbing, is simply ostentatiously exuding shere euroness, which is a characteristic of those cursed to have been born in any one country of the european union. He could, like the garden variety scrote, have pointed to his abs, assumed kissy face, or advertised a career crushing obnoxious tat. Brainwashed and genetically compelled to don his standard issue banana hammock, he boldly points to his diminuitive package, in hopes that you will withdraw your scorn and forgive him his pitiable heritage.
The Kreep is already getting his. Though approaching the verge of douchitude, he more resembles a band geek turned aspiring buckcherryesque scroteclown, who in hopes of scoring barely post pubescent groupies to be, has begun flaunting his hastily assembled, manscara sporting garage band. Immediately following this pick, they migrated to a more worthy douchal specimen, leaving him to ponder his MTV produced, generic "look" and the horror of being in a band that blows, and yet does not generate a disproportionate profit.
Chumlee has the unbelievable lack of self consciousness that leads to the misplaced confidence common to all who walk the path of the choadscrote. Chumlee FTW.
Italian Sausage, though extremely disturbing, is simply ostentatiously exuding shere euroness, which is a characteristic of those cursed to have been born in any one country of the european union. He could, like the garden variety scrote, have pointed to his abs, assumed kissy face, or advertised a career crushing obnoxious tat. Brainwashed and genetically compelled to don his standard issue banana hammock, he boldly points to his diminuitive package, in hopes that you will withdraw your scorn and forgive him his pitiable heritage.
The Kreep is already getting his. Though approaching the verge of douchitude, he more resembles a band geek turned aspiring buckcherryesque scroteclown, who in hopes of scoring barely post pubescent groupies to be, has begun flaunting his hastily assembled, manscara sporting garage band. Immediately following this pick, they migrated to a more worthy douchal specimen, leaving him to ponder his MTV produced, generic "look" and the horror of being in a band that blows, and yet does not generate a disproportionate profit.
Chumlee has the unbelievable lack of self consciousness that leads to the misplaced confidence common to all who walk the path of the choadscrote. Chumlee FTW.
# posted by : 4:35 PM
: 4:35 PM
Not an easy choice. The Kreep appears to offer a more solid douche performance with his Travis-Barker-post-stroke face. But I'm not overwhelmed by the hott half of the interplay. Italian Sausage is apparently proud of the Lil Smokie he smuggled in, but I just feel sorry for him-- being Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's older, shorter, balder brother can't be the career move he thought it would be.
So we are left with Chumlee. His K-Fed-meets-Ratboy puss coupled with a single infuriating streak of grey in his hair makes death by falling meteor seem like sweet, fiery relief by comparison. And, oh, yeah, he's doing the Batusi. Flush.
Beatrice in all her awe-inspiring spectacle and wonder is what aurora borealis would be if it had boobs.
So we are left with Chumlee. His K-Fed-meets-Ratboy puss coupled with a single infuriating streak of grey in his hair makes death by falling meteor seem like sweet, fiery relief by comparison. And, oh, yeah, he's doing the Batusi. Flush.
Beatrice in all her awe-inspiring spectacle and wonder is what aurora borealis would be if it had boobs.
Jean Claude:
You have my condolences. I've buried (literally) dozens of friends and family and I am sad to say that I am happy that it doesn't get easier. It always sucks. It's only marginally better if someone was terminal and suffering horribly. Then at least you have the comfort of knowing they aren't suffering. I wish it all wasn't so, that losing loved ones could be simple or even joyful. However: it isn't and that's just the way it is - complicated and sad. It good that it hurts. Otherwise, it wouldn't matter. Do yourself a favour and do something sorta fun.
Now, on to the vote.
Gotta be Chumlee. He is a bag. And even if Beatrice has hips like a hippo, she's a still a pretty sight.
You have my condolences. I've buried (literally) dozens of friends and family and I am sad to say that I am happy that it doesn't get easier. It always sucks. It's only marginally better if someone was terminal and suffering horribly. Then at least you have the comfort of knowing they aren't suffering. I wish it all wasn't so, that losing loved ones could be simple or even joyful. However: it isn't and that's just the way it is - complicated and sad. It good that it hurts. Otherwise, it wouldn't matter. Do yourself a favour and do something sorta fun.
Now, on to the vote.
Gotta be Chumlee. He is a bag. And even if Beatrice has hips like a hippo, she's a still a pretty sight.
I KNEW DJ Drippy Head should have been in the weekly. He responded a few times in his comment page. But he won't let me be his friend. What a bag.
Smug? About THAT? And a hott proud it it as well?
The Italian Sausage FTW
Even if Chumlee is already flashing his V for victory, or is that victimy?
The Italian Sausage FTW
Even if Chumlee is already flashing his V for victory, or is that victimy?
# posted by : 7:31 PM
: 7:31 PM
Italian Sausage, hands down.
He doesn't even need to point to his wiener, his head already looks like one.
He doesn't even need to point to his wiener, his head already looks like one.
# posted by : 7:46 PM
: 7:46 PM
No contest this week. The cum stain in his hair and the side boobness make this a run away. Chumlee FTW.
# posted by : 7:46 PM
: 7:46 PM
WELL, if you're voting for a really douchey guy, then it has to be the KREEP. EWWWWWWW! URP!!!and the hotties are flat but cute.
If you're voting for a really hot chick, it hs to be CHUMLEE. He's a posing douche who isn't as repulsive as the Kreep.
So what is it? Douchebag, or Hott???
KREEP FTW if it's a douchebag.
If you're voting for a really hot chick, it hs to be CHUMLEE. He's a posing douche who isn't as repulsive as the Kreep.
So what is it? Douchebag, or Hott???
KREEP FTW if it's a douchebag.
# posted by : 9:08 PM
: 9:08 PM
Thank you DB1 for pointing out Italian sausage was pointing at his dong, like It wasn't hard enough already to avert my eyes... wait what does that say about me...
Oh well, even with out mellon salad Italian would still win it. His choadosity is reach levels not seen before, and why is he pointing at his dong...
Honestly if you ask me the twig inbetween the Kreep and happy little native hott there is the best. But the sausage takes it, purely for the... well sausage. You get the feeling that where ever he is, he's not meant to be in his undies, Italian for the win!
Oh well, even with out mellon salad Italian would still win it. His choadosity is reach levels not seen before, and why is he pointing at his dong...
Honestly if you ask me the twig inbetween the Kreep and happy little native hott there is the best. But the sausage takes it, purely for the... well sausage. You get the feeling that where ever he is, he's not meant to be in his undies, Italian for the win!
I'm not going to vote for that poor mini-packaged but musclebound Italian Flag who really Looks Like an Asian if you look closely. He could pass on any Japanese street as one of them, fully clothed. I digress.
Nor would I want to see the druggie Kreep-head get a nod, although he does have all the necessary douchewad accessories.
No, I am drawn to the heavenly blue morning-glory of Chumlee's Beatrice, so I gladly proffer an eggs Benedict to Chumlee's muffinhead and finger-twat gesture. There's just something about that cute little necklace and striped scarf he's wearing. Don't come down too hard on his gray hair, though, he might be one of those natural silver-streakies like Leno, with a genetically programmed swath. I'd worry about that cap on his head, though. It looks like a baby-cap from the layette department, with its little string-ties.
Chumlee getting chummy FTW.
Nor would I want to see the druggie Kreep-head get a nod, although he does have all the necessary douchewad accessories.
No, I am drawn to the heavenly blue morning-glory of Chumlee's Beatrice, so I gladly proffer an eggs Benedict to Chumlee's muffinhead and finger-twat gesture. There's just something about that cute little necklace and striped scarf he's wearing. Don't come down too hard on his gray hair, though, he might be one of those natural silver-streakies like Leno, with a genetically programmed swath. I'd worry about that cap on his head, though. It looks like a baby-cap from the layette department, with its little string-ties.
Chumlee getting chummy FTW.
# posted by : 10:55 PM
: 10:55 PM
Kreep FTW
Chumlee isn't that big a douchebag I don't want to pummel him as much as just ignore him. But I can't forget or ignore Kreep.
Chumlee isn't that big a douchebag I don't want to pummel him as much as just ignore him. But I can't forget or ignore Kreep.
# posted by : 11:51 PM
: 11:51 PM
Yet again, this one's over before it began...
We all know it - Italian bag is the winner.
We all know it - Italian bag is the winner.
# posted by : 1:37 AM
: 1:37 AM
Im gonna have to go ahead and vote for chumlee.
i can respect a douche that is that far gone that he dresses like a depressed peter pan, shows more clevage than the hott, and still has the gall to make a ridiculous hand gesture.
i wanna sail to never never land with Chumlee.
i can respect a douche that is that far gone that he dresses like a depressed peter pan, shows more clevage than the hott, and still has the gall to make a ridiculous hand gesture.
i wanna sail to never never land with Chumlee.
# posted by : 3:40 AM
: 3:40 AM
Chumlee ftw!
I think I actually have the shirt, necklace, and scarf he's wearing in that photo... and I'm a chick. I want to scrub that K-Fed scruff off his face, and then ask his hott if those turquoise-covered mounds are real. She wouldn't answer me of course, but I'd still stare at them like a barn owl hyped up on a triple mocha latte.
I think I actually have the shirt, necklace, and scarf he's wearing in that photo... and I'm a chick. I want to scrub that K-Fed scruff off his face, and then ask his hott if those turquoise-covered mounds are real. She wouldn't answer me of course, but I'd still stare at them like a barn owl hyped up on a triple mocha latte.
# posted by : 6:31 AM
: 6:31 AM
The Italian Sausage has me stumped. I had nothing on haiku night, and I don't have much more now. Doesn't matter if you can bench an Oka, dressing like that in the wrong places will incur either ridicule or harm. So it has me thinking it's some sort of competition, and Melon is just a reporter posing with him.
I'm jonesing for Charisma Carpenter Jnr right now, but I can't draw enough douche from The Kreep. He just looks like an alternative stoner, and if it is something like a day long summer festival, then he's not going to be the only one without a shirt on. The only thing I did a double take on was the rosary and cross tattoo.
Beatrice's lovely smile and raised eyebrow suggest mischief. I believe she genuinely knows how to have fun. Her chest puppies make my boy parts tingly. Oh to play crash chest dummies. What? On with Chumlee... Complete with a Gator-inspired plunging neck t-shirt and pointed cap, this guy is Links evil double in the next Zelda installment. He is the grey doppelganger, Stink. The shaven chest is inline with the programmers protests not to code chest hair. His nonchalant countenance comparable to the typical suave villain. His "scissor eye" is that fucken special move that will always get you, no matter how well you were doing.
Chumlee FTW!
I'm jonesing for Charisma Carpenter Jnr right now, but I can't draw enough douche from The Kreep. He just looks like an alternative stoner, and if it is something like a day long summer festival, then he's not going to be the only one without a shirt on. The only thing I did a double take on was the rosary and cross tattoo.
Beatrice's lovely smile and raised eyebrow suggest mischief. I believe she genuinely knows how to have fun. Her chest puppies make my boy parts tingly. Oh to play crash chest dummies. What? On with Chumlee... Complete with a Gator-inspired plunging neck t-shirt and pointed cap, this guy is Links evil double in the next Zelda installment. He is the grey doppelganger, Stink. The shaven chest is inline with the programmers protests not to code chest hair. His nonchalant countenance comparable to the typical suave villain. His "scissor eye" is that fucken special move that will always get you, no matter how well you were doing.
Chumlee FTW!
Chumlee certainly activated my rage-quivering reflex with his abundance of asshattery, but I would rather make smoke signals with Native Hottmerican or lick the back of Archy Yin. And by "make smoke signals" and "lick the back of" I mean have sex with. The Italian Sausage also made me curl up on the floor and whisper "Oh God Oh God" for several minutes as I worry about what the future is going to be like, so that's helpful for his cause. However, the more I think about it (and regret doing so), this reaction couldn't have come purely from his scrotitude, but also partly from some deeper concern that I can't understand how messed up people are. Which makes Italian Sausage lessadouche, and more just a weird, weird man.
So in summation: Chumlee
So in summation: Chumlee
# posted by : 12:36 PM
: 12:36 PM
Italian sausage has room for reasonable doubt, we may be backstage at a bobybuilding contest. enough to ge him mocked, but not enough for the weekly.
Kree's brunette is definately the cutest this week, and he is undeniably a douche, but he lacks the smugness needed to carry him through.
Ah, Chumlee. You fuckwipe. That's right, you are the abandoned t shirt used to absorb the post-coital mess off some dude's dong. And boobies. Chumlee FTW.
Kree's brunette is definately the cutest this week, and he is undeniably a douche, but he lacks the smugness needed to carry him through.
Ah, Chumlee. You fuckwipe. That's right, you are the abandoned t shirt used to absorb the post-coital mess off some dude's dong. And boobies. Chumlee FTW.
again a battle between the obvious and subtle forms of douche. Italian sausage is immensly proud of his steroid shrunken package, and as the viewer, though he is most definitely scrote, and worthy of punishment, i feel bad for him.
As for chumlee, he captures the essence of the douche with his smug expression, and rediculous previously undiscovered hand gesture. He has captured my heart as well. And by captured my heart, I mean caused me to wish that he be drawn and quartered.
As for chumlee, he captures the essence of the douche with his smug expression, and rediculous previously undiscovered hand gesture. He has captured my heart as well. And by captured my heart, I mean caused me to wish that he be drawn and quartered.
# posted by : 1:27 PM
: 1:27 PM
@ yahoo
Jeebus, I am one unevolved scumbag, then. I think i have leftover baggage from my past life as a dude or something.
Jeebus, I am one unevolved scumbag, then. I think i have leftover baggage from my past life as a dude or something.
Italian shrink wrapped gherkin man is impressively douchey, but I have to pass on him because his boobies are bigger than his hott's.
Chumlee wins. He looks like the type of guy who owns a sword. Loves bottle service. And his hott is undeniable. I'm salivating at the thought of snipping her shirt straps; unbridled joy would bounce forth.
Chumlee wins. He looks like the type of guy who owns a sword. Loves bottle service. And his hott is undeniable. I'm salivating at the thought of snipping her shirt straps; unbridled joy would bounce forth.
Perhaps it is the 3rd shot of Wild Turkey or the six beers that preceded it, but I nearly left a dissertation on sideboob and wearing granny underwear on your pate on Michelle Malkin's fabulously ridiculous far right website. I have no idea what made me look up to see that I was on the wrong site. Needless to say, it would have created a Führer...er...furor...whatever.
And let's face it...sideboob is the deciding factor in this vote. Beatrice is peaking. She is destined for a large-hipped four-kid marriage, but for now, she is the Hott of the week. Just plain enough to be accessible, and just puffy enough to be voluptuous. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
The waterskis (they're too small to be surfboards) that accompany the Kreep are not "rugged" enough for any wave action beyond say...three inches...which looks to be right in Kreep's wheelhouse. Though I am digging Brunette's toothy overbite.
The Italian Sausage nearly drove me to pen my first 5-7-5 in well over a year this past Friday, but, as the DB1 so eloquently stated, what has been seen cannot be unseen and I couldn't commemorate this with a poem. In a way this pic demonstrates the core douchealic truths with which this site bludgeons us daily. Yet, the Sausage is, how you say, insignificant. Perhaps if the Mellon Salad were hitting us with a provocative pose revealing a equine Ferrari tramp stamp, then this would have driven them to the win.
But she didn't.
Sideboob and sexually-ambiguous chin-scrote posing Chumlee for the win.
And let's face it...sideboob is the deciding factor in this vote. Beatrice is peaking. She is destined for a large-hipped four-kid marriage, but for now, she is the Hott of the week. Just plain enough to be accessible, and just puffy enough to be voluptuous. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
The waterskis (they're too small to be surfboards) that accompany the Kreep are not "rugged" enough for any wave action beyond say...three inches...which looks to be right in Kreep's wheelhouse. Though I am digging Brunette's toothy overbite.
The Italian Sausage nearly drove me to pen my first 5-7-5 in well over a year this past Friday, but, as the DB1 so eloquently stated, what has been seen cannot be unseen and I couldn't commemorate this with a poem. In a way this pic demonstrates the core douchealic truths with which this site bludgeons us daily. Yet, the Sausage is, how you say, insignificant. Perhaps if the Mellon Salad were hitting us with a provocative pose revealing a equine Ferrari tramp stamp, then this would have driven them to the win.
But she didn't.
Sideboob and sexually-ambiguous chin-scrote posing Chumlee for the win.
# posted by : 8:26 PM
: 8:26 PM
I think this is a clear case of vienna sausage/asian melon bad lunch "winning"...and this is why...Chumlee is gay and gay guys can't be douchebags...can they?
Clearly Chumlee is a conversation away from wearing a feed-bag full of cock.
Clearly Chumlee is a conversation away from wearing a feed-bag full of cock.
# posted by : 9:38 PM
: 9:38 PM
I think Chumlee is a homo. Doesn't that de-bag him?
What is the policy on homers?
This dude is probably a stylist...
I say not-a-douche.
What is the policy on homers?
This dude is probably a stylist...
I say not-a-douche.
# posted by : 10:42 PM
: 10:42 PM
@ medusa
Oh, don't get me wrong. It has nothing to do with being a gentleman ... though I swear I would mend my ways and treat you like a queen.
No, it's part of a highly advanced calculus I've learned to perform. See, I've spent my share of late nights in bars, talking to girls with pretty faces and great racks ... as Beatrice certainly has ... only to find out later (sometimes not until the next day) that she was hauling a double-wide. After finding myself in a couple of these situations, I realized that beer goggles not only tend to beautify what's in front of you, they also narrow your field of vision. You don't see the entire girl, mostly just face, shoulders, and boobs ... much like this picture. So I learned to extrapolate the size of the rest of the girl from the limited information the beer goggles permitted. (It's a modification of the basic formula for calculating the area under a curve. Patent pending.) By my self-appointed-expert calculations, Beatrice probably has hindquarters like an adolescent rhinocerous.
Post a Comment
Oh, don't get me wrong. It has nothing to do with being a gentleman ... though I swear I would mend my ways and treat you like a queen.
No, it's part of a highly advanced calculus I've learned to perform. See, I've spent my share of late nights in bars, talking to girls with pretty faces and great racks ... as Beatrice certainly has ... only to find out later (sometimes not until the next day) that she was hauling a double-wide. After finding myself in a couple of these situations, I realized that beer goggles not only tend to beautify what's in front of you, they also narrow your field of vision. You don't see the entire girl, mostly just face, shoulders, and boobs ... much like this picture. So I learned to extrapolate the size of the rest of the girl from the limited information the beer goggles permitted. (It's a modification of the basic formula for calculating the area under a curve. Patent pending.) By my self-appointed-expert calculations, Beatrice probably has hindquarters like an adolescent rhinocerous.
<< Home
