Lions and tigers and boobs, oh my!
 

in before the complaints of lack of hott
 

I wouldn't trash Kimberly and Kelly too much. My theory is that this is a sibling outing, and he is clearly the youngest for "needing" to douche it up like this. As his protective big sisters (and by "big," I mean look at those things the cheetah/jaguar top is restraining), they are only tolerating his partying habits but are not actually "with" him.

They still need a family intervention, though. He took the time to rip the sleeves off a.....shirt(?) and match a mandanna to it. I'll bet his belt is white as well.
 

dirty jerz.
 

I can't believe they're not butter.


He's a butterfucker.
 

I won't bust on Kelly and Kimberly, although they wish they were as classy as Long Island girls. They're Jersey, at best, yo. Chick on the right is ORANGE!

However, Cheetah girl is welcome to paw at my nether regions while speaking in what I'm sure is her Fran-Drescher-on-meth voice.
 

The douchebag is driven to hunt.
When the douchebag hunts, he hunts for COUGARS...
 

That guys head looks like somebody put eyeliner and a white bandana on a large potato.

Where the chicks are concerned I don't think 'Hott' really sticks. Looks like Mr. Potato Head picked up his dates at the truck stop.

- Douchey Smurf
 

May I direct your attention to the flamboyant letter "K" poised over his sternum? Want to bet what the rest of that tat looks like? My money is on a full collar inscription starting at the right clavicle: "Please Kick the Shit Out of Me."
 

These pseudo-MILFs are ok in my book. Real MILFs is where it's at.

At least for my 40-year-old ass it is anyway.

He is bad-tatted manliner nozzle-bait with a poor excuse for a fauxhawk. I bet his boyfriend enjoys his makeup application prowess.
 

...the word "Shit" would appear centered over his spine, right below the Atlas bone, with the felicitous result that: a) that fair warning of his douchitude was given both coming and going; and b) steel-toed boots could be directed with precision to inflict the C1 injury he deserves.
 

the girl on our left looks like Celine Dion, and i HATE Celine Dion. the girl on our right looks like she'd be up for some bedroom olympics, and would take the gold in the Reverse Cowboy. the girl in the middle needs to do some sit-ups and wax her forearms.
 

These two have a sororal connection based purely on the hypnotic douche aura of "Da Club" .

Barely hott on the left uses her artificially pushed up breastesses as a resting place for her keys, cocktails, ashtray, chewing gum and RU-486 container after a night in "The VIP Room".

The one hope we have for this guy is that sucking down 47 Cranberry and 'Goose cocktails may cause his grey matter to tumefie ( notice I didn't say "brain") busting through his cranium and tearing that mandana apart in a bloody mess like the hulk through his too-small-to-contain-him clothes.

What an asshole. Stinks like poo in here today.

I would like to take the hottie on the right on a debauched vacation weekend on Martha's Vineyard where we never put our clothes on again until Monday morning as I teach her the true meaning of "multi orgasmic" causing her to walk with a limp for three years and becoming addicted to WalMart brand generic ibuprofen.
 

Cheetah girl needs some loving. I'd spread out some latex on my bed, coat her entire body with baconnaise (http://www.baconnaise.com/) and then go animalistic on 'er.

Mmmmm, Mmmmmm, Goooooood.
 

Five words to mind: cut-rate bachelorette party stripper.
 

hey hypersexual girl has her nipple up on her blog.

god bless that woman.
 

It's OK, guys - bcs posted a link you can click.

Is that a Hallowe'en treat for us after the trick of the last link? (Yes, of course I clicked after telling myself I wouldn't.)
 

Well, an addendum: I mean, it's not worksafe, but it is what he says it is. No sense lying about that, after all.
 

Yeah, I thought bcs' link was going to be an exploding cow's udder or something along that line ...
 

@Vin -

You may have just given him away. I thought I heard a loud "SHIT!" all the way down here in Cincinnati.
 

I'll take a Cosmo, and don't put it in a martini glass, that would look kinda gay.
 

One advantage of the Suburban Hott would be the easier parking...

Just sayin'. That is worth a couple notches on the Richter Scale.
 

Thanks to Hypersexualgirl, I'll be spending what's left of my Thursday in the handicap stall of our executive restroom...
 

nah no shock site. i'm gonna stop with that childish nonsense. don't wanna scare away the few actually decent people we've acquired on this site lately.

yeah i spent a large part of my work day yesterday reading through her archives. after i was done i had to hose myself down for 10 minutes. it's not just like hustler letters though. she's a damn fine writer.
 

bcs is all growns up now.
 

He needs a ricin cocktail.
Those two need to be deloused after his wretched paws were on them.
What a poster boy for douche.
 

@amanda

To be fair the ladies are, at best, cut-rate bachelorettes.
 

@Ripwild 7:4am

baconnaise...christ just when we thought we coldnt get fatter

I like their email spreadthelove@baconnaise.com
 

*sheds tear at bcs' growing up.

Thanks for the redemptive link there, bcs. I hesitated to click, but the lure of the nipple was strong!

I wish I wasn't at work and could actually READ the prose. Also wish I had an executive handicapped stall in which to ponder said prose.
 

i think we have an early front runner for HCwDB of the Week.

this dude is a clown.
 

This pic almost cannot be redeemed. Orange Chick is perilously close to Bleeth territory and this mandana wearing Special K on the chest douche is making me ill. Only Tiger Tits is worth the effort.
 

@doucheous

I hear ya. But I just make do with the regular-sized stall. Sure, my elbows banging against the partitions make it sound like someone put a pair of sneakers in the dryer...
 

@Mr. White

I actually spit my coffee on my desk blotter with the sneakers in the dryer comment. Thank you for that!
 

that makeup he's wearing is hardly noticeable...

http://www.hulu.com/watch/19298/saturday-night-live-maybelline-men

-haberdouchery
 

We have an executive handicapped bathroom here. In fact, all of our "exeutives" are "handicapped." I go in there just to take a big dump to stink the place up.
 

What is that, vodka cranberry? Pussy McGee is more like it.
Those are definitely suburban whores, I bet they dine out in a strip mall.
 

He's the bass player for a Loverboy tribute band, right?

I'd like to break each of his chubby little fingers, and as each one snaps like a brittle stick, say "This one's for Pris."
 

the matching white bandana a symbol of his douche dominance.
 

Suburbanites or not, I'd treat either of these ladies or both to an Alabama Hot Pocket.
 

How did the Baconnaise kid win $5,000 for that video? Nothing funny happened.
 

@massengill 9:12a

You sat through that video as well? I kept waiting for dad to take it in the nads. Instead it was "oh, wow, that was close". WTF? I thought it was a funniest video contest.

Oh well, it helped fund Baconnaise
 

"Baconnaise.....hey, we have a 'lite' brand!"
 

Shoot me now. The one on the left looks like the typical Jersey skank. I can hear that mind numbing accent already. Who the eff wears leopard skin prints these days other than Whoooors.
 

BLEETHS!!!!!!!!

O' MY GWUAD! Shut the fuck up, you stupid gavone!

Prompas - meet your future wife! Yuck.

Fuck Fish Slap! Where is that guy lately?
 

@anon 9:51

When you type "Whoooors," I hear the character of Ralph Cifarello from The Sopranos. And it's awesome.

This pic also just reminded me of a relatively short-lived feature in the New York Times Sunday Magazine a few years back. It was the last page, and it was called "What They're Thinking" or something along those lines. They had a picture and then the caption featured a little interview where the people shown said what they were thinking at the time. One of them was a picture of these four 30-something Jersey bottom feeders waiting to get into a club. The one chick was "thinking" about how whenever she wore her leopard skirt stretched tight over her gelatinous thunder thighs, she always got into the "best" Manhattan clubs. Sadly, neither of the tubby, polyester-suit-wearing guys were thinking, "Sweet Jesus, I should be killed."
 

damn. that's waaaay too much douche for one photo. i don't know where to start
 

Yes, I'VE BEEN WARNING the hunters/commentators about GUY LINER for some time..

they wanted to believe it was a temporary thang, that since tattoos were permanent they held higher priority..

You're behind the times hunters, get in step with the now..guyliner is here, has been here, start taking note..

maybe now they'll take the issue seriously and vote appropriate on future weeklys..
 

THIS GUY IS WHY THE REST OF THE WORLD HATES US. HE IS WHY I HATE MYSELF. HE IS PROOF THERE IS NO GOD. THE TERRORISTS ARE WINNING BECAUSE OF HIM. I'd fuck the girl on the right though.
 

This guy's about as gangster as a three week old bunny. But not quite as smart.
 

L to R:

The Dumpy One, Asshat, High Maintenance (I'd still do her though)
 

The guy in the middle is Roy Horn recovering from the mauling, he is flanked by the two newest jungle cats that proved to be a little more docile, but just as hairy and smelly. And big. Especially the one on the right.

And bcs...you're not fooling anyone with your promise of nipple. Nope. no way. Not gonna do it. If she wants to show me her nipple, she can do it herself.




....Well?

I'm waiting.

I'll be here all night. I have coffee.
 

is he wearing eye makeup...?
 

I retract my nottadouche. With apologies. I was mistaken.
 

He is delightfully devoid of finger, ear and neck bling, but the Bleeths doth blinger on. Kelly is actually a tastefully restrained version, but Kimberly obviously likes cat shows.

Isn't that her left nip/areola poking out a tad over the top?

The only kind of liner a guy should have is ocean liner. Party ship.

Or in his case, a coffin-liner.
 

Douche suports single mothers they swap make up tips at pta meetings
 

I am trying to figure out how this picture falls under the "hot chicks" portion of this website; the douchebag portion is very accurate.

Dems are some serious New Jersey skanks.
 

Personally, I don't think ANY of the chicks pictured on this site are anything other than trash!! why else would they hook up with such douchbags????? NOTHING BUT TRAMPS!!! I honestly don't know who's worse. The mlae douche's or the douchettes!! And I bet they're all CRAB infested as well!!!
 

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