Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Hallowe'en frightens
as shadowy 'bag molests
tatted brunette hott

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:00 AM

His scar indicates
Tattoo removed, then grafted
On hott's slender arm

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:01 AM

Brian Earlicker
Moves on to younger brunette
Leaves her mom behind

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:01 AM

Her winsome smile
Suggests that she hasn't turned
To see who grabs her

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:02 AM

Zebra shorts indicate
spreading of Grieco virus -
douche is a playa.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:02 AM

Bracelets and bangles
I hear them tinkling
While she works my junk

Was that too much, guys?
Thoughts of pfah and HG
Make me feel frisky

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:04 AM

poolside miami,
multicultural trainwreck.
douche on, brothabag!

# posted by

George S : 7:04 AM

Aagin, I can't count.
Her sweet mams are distracting,
as well as her smile.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:04 AM

Again*

("Preview" button, anyone?)

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:04 AM

Usher gropes tat hott
Tyson sips his chardonnay
he is unimpressed

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:07 AM

If she's a pornstar
I need to download some vids
Watch at work in stall

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:07 AM

"Some more chablis, please"
the negro gentleman asks.
He leers with envy.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:08 AM

KoKo B Ware Shades
Perky Hott sports Blu Blockers
What's with the lame frames?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:09 AM

I will cleanse her bod
Gently, with alcohol wipes,
Then go buckwild

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:09 AM

zesty latina,
bro-bag darren makes his move,
he ain't no leon.

# posted by

George S : 7:10 AM

Nice bracelets there babe...
George Foreman makes a watch now?
Orange means under-aged.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:10 AM

I cannot write haiku
On Friday morn
Skanky porn stars again

# posted by

Ripwild : 7:10 AM

WTF? All I see is a picture of three 'bags. The hot chick is definitely hot (that's a fine ass), but what is with all those bracelets? That, plus the tattoo and the big glasses--she's a 'bag.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:10 AM

Brotha chills in back
while Earlicker fails with hott -
his turn will soon come.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:11 AM

Marlboro Lights shoot
the douchebag demographic
photoshop wine glass

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:11 AM

Massive wristwear and
a huge Jesus tat? She's the biggest douchebag here.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:12 AM

Her mams are not huge
but are firm and quite lovely -
sensitive to touch?

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:12 AM

i've seen this porno,
it's called 'Oreo Cookie'
2 on 1 action.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:12 AM

lebron james amused
as zebra fruit stripe douche gropes
patron saint of bleeth

# posted by

bcs : 7:13 AM

A slap on the ass
Nervous laughter
Her douche juice desire

# posted by

Ripwild : 7:13 AM

her bellybutton
halfway between boobs and crotch
huh, isn't that weird?

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:14 AM

a lot of bracelets,
she's challening Madonna,
circa mid-80's.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:14 AM

Virgin Mary tat
Prays for the bearer's lost soul
And to be removed.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:14 AM

Earlicker will be,
In Mondays HC-DB,
So fret not, poets, ye.

# posted by

Douchebag1 : 7:14 AM

Welder shades adorn
blind douche who still finds the hotts -
thanks, seeing-eye 'dawg!

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:14 AM

tattoo says a prayer
while douchebag pollutes the hott
someone pray for us

# posted by

bcs : 7:15 AM

Brothabag smiles
He boinked her before this pic
Zebra can't compete

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:15 AM

Wow, those are short shorts!
Dual scrotes almost get pass
But nope, they're true douche

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:16 AM

she's seen more "Johns" than
Grand Central Station during
the morning commute...

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:16 AM

Current, former Bears
Gather to mack on the hotts.
Singletary waits.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:16 AM

Her tattoo displays
St. Judith of Yummy Hott
Save her from evil

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:17 AM

her tatt is badass.
what kind of man drinks white wine?
he's French, or he's gay.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:17 AM

A chandelier hangs
From the lush Plains of Belly...
A Moor fills with lust.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:17 AM

religious tattoos
quite a contrast on such a
half naked harlot

# posted by

bcs : 7:18 AM

Who's the Brothabag
Who scores chicks and drinks champagne?
Shaft! You're damn right, son.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:18 AM

Brian Earlicker
provides hott with snack before
Brothabag's main course

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:19 AM

stevie wonder sang
ebony and ivory
all i see is poo

# posted by

bcs : 7:19 AM

she's done more tricks than
Penn & Teller, Kreskin, and
Houdini combined

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:19 AM

Jesus don't want her
for a sunbeam, but she can
bounce on my pants beam.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:20 AM

Adventures in porn
Blublockers and Zinfandel
Did someone say "ass play?"

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:20 AM

Gross vericose vein.
Ready for some douchebag 'bag?
Borris 'bags around.

Oh Elayne, so bleethed.
But twinkle suggests not lost.
Switch back, there's still time.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:20 AM

Fair Ophelia
Nymph, thy question 'tis clear, to
Douche, or not to Douche

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 7:20 AM

brother in background?
he's in the group De La Soul.
potholes in my lawn.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:20 AM

fuck, that's not a haiku

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:20 AM

Look, Zebra Zubas!
Brothabag smirks in disgust
What's with hott's wrist bling?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:20 AM

I can scrub Greico
From her skin with my urine
Gold Disinfectant

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:21 AM

underage? yeah right.
look at her hand. she's at least
forty. or, she mines...

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:22 AM

Brothabag just waits -
She'll get sick of zebra's tricks
and want Brotha's treats.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:22 AM

Snake Plissken called me...
He needs his timer bracelet.
Duke of New York leers.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:22 AM

Shaven gorilla
Sneaks on unsuspecting hott
To steal her wrist bling.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:23 AM

"what's in your pocket?
you just happy to see me?"
"it's pocket sized axe"

# posted by

bcs : 7:23 AM

well, say what you may,
but she's an attractive girl
that likes attention.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:24 AM

Boatbutter killed me
with great references to
Escape from New York!

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:25 AM

There's ink on her arm!
Brian Earlicker grins wide
Skeletor's his bride

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:25 AM

Where's Waldouche? Right there!
Lurking behind Slouchy-bag
And luscious tat-hott.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:26 AM

an abundance of
man nipple in this picture.
why DB1? why?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:26 AM

All of these people
Protecting their corneas
From sun's UV rays

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:26 AM

Happy Halloween!
I'm dressed as a douchebag. You?
Oh, I'm a skank ho!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:27 AM

Beads strangle douchebag.
Rosary would be loose fit
on normal people.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:28 AM

Angel on shoulder
Is the only one in room
Without STDs

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:29 AM

The lighting is bad
and covers her features, but
also obscures 'bags.

So, all in all it's
not necessarily bad.
Can she be redeemed?

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:29 AM

Boss in my office
Can't write my haikus today
Please go away now!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:29 AM

happy halloween
to my fellow 'bag slayers.
our work's important.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:29 AM

What's with all the haiku poems? It's the lowest form of expression and I suspect 'bags of all of you who are using them.

-Merle 'Baggard

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:31 AM

Rosary, Angel
Religious symbols, people
Fuck for camera

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:31 AM

Hey dude where's my pool?
Looks like they should be swimming -
Or does bling sink you?

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:31 AM

She's too skanky
Tatts not impressive
No baconaise for her

# posted by

Ripwild : 7:31 AM

Retard with glasses
Hottie gets him hard as wood
Isaac Hayes approves!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:32 AM

Friday Haiku is
a regular feature here.
Check out the archives.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:32 AM

Merle Baggard asshat
Bashes haiku, and insults
Japanese culture

Don't like the haiku?
Solution is quite simple
Don't post, and fuck off.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:33 AM

what's that Merle 'Baggard?
can't hear you over the sound
of my awesomeness.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:33 AM

This All Hallows Eve
The scariest thing you'll see
Are Douchebags and Bleeths

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 7:34 AM

Her smile betrays

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:34 AM

Merle Baggard a noob
Every Friday: Haiku
You are the bag here

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:34 AM

i disagree merle
lowest form of expression
is your mother's mouth

# posted by

bcs : 7:34 AM

Merle Baggard, you fuck
Don't come her hatin' on us
WE MUST MOCK DOUCHES!!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:34 AM

Don't Wheeze takes high road
I go lowbrow, use bad words
Wheeze is a good guy

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:35 AM

I like the site, so I'll stay. And I've got nothing against Japanese culture, but the Haiku has become little more than a quick and easy way for tools and otherwise largely uninspired (and uninspiring) 'bags to make pretense at culture, learning, or "originality."

-Merle 'Baggard

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:35 AM

Front page updated -
I see no Merle 'Baggard!
No dumb shit allowed.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:36 AM

It's Friday Haiku.
Merle frightened by hunters wit.
Go read somewhere else.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:36 AM

Fuck you "Tab" button
Don't press "Tab" and then "Return"
Edit can is gone.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:37 AM

You do not like site
If you bash Friday Haiku
Don't stay: do not want

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:37 AM

bcs is right.
Merle's mom's dick is so big, it
makes his dad jealous.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:38 AM

Merle criticizes
But offers nothing better
His life must be sad

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:38 AM

@Merle 'Baggard...

it's friday haiku
perhaps you didn't see it
above the picture

and your opinion
"lowest form of expression"
is really just sad.

perhaps just jealous?
five-seven-five just too hard?
too bad, it's much fun!

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:38 AM

Sorry, Mr. White -
I posted before your last
and ruined it. Oops!

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:38 AM

'baggard can't haiku.
merle secretly likes the goose,
probably has tats.

# posted by

George S : 7:39 AM

Merle comes to visit
From Artsy-poets dot com
Too bad we're so coarse

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:40 AM

Brian Earlicker
reference makes the front page
Beaming with pride here.

Thanks Don't Wheeze the Douche!
your haikus are impressive
Mocking douche is good.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:40 AM

Oh how I wish that
late term abortion was legal
D and C this douche

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:40 AM

fine Merle. but if you
stay, i suggest you don't bash
a tradition here.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:41 AM

Doucheous Scrotimus,
Had you not named him that way,
I would've been lost.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:41 AM

Sorry Wheeze,

I didn't know that was a standard around here...only my third day on the site. Still, I won't be participating in the Haiku writing. Now, start "Limerick Mondays" and we've got a deal.

-Merle 'Baggard

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:43 AM

Wednesdays are for
Limericks. If you don't know
now you know, Baggard.

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:44 AM

A non-haiku aside to Merle,

OK, if you don't want to do the haiku, that's your choice. No sweat - and actually, there's a Limerick Wednesday, though DB1 hasn't always done that.

But Haiku Friday is fun - it does stretch our creativity and is thus a welcome exercise. If you change your mind, no problem.

- Wheeze

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:45 AM

A round of Makers
To all of you 'bag hunters
Your Haikus much loved

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 7:45 AM

Not only do we
mock douches daily, we will
defend our haikus.

Mocking is a must!
Enter Merle. He hates haikus.
Now, we must mock Merle

Open some whoop-ass
did unsuspecting young Merle
Lessons must be taught

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:45 AM

Lessons have been learned.
Don't Wheeze the Douche steps to plate.
Merle has seen the light.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:47 AM

The haikus today
were top-notch in my sick mind
I lift a glass now.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:48 AM

merle, in the future,
when you walk in to a room,
don't fart from your mouth.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:49 AM

I echo pfah (it's 2 syllables we found out last week)
Happy Halloween 'hunters
Candy and Liquor!!

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:50 AM

Baggard sprays body
With Axe/Tag combination
Draws flies, not women

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:50 AM

pretentious merle says
i'm too good to write haikus
get over yourself

lighten up, relax
count syllables on your desk
confuse coworkers

# posted by

bcs : 7:50 AM

since you're new here merle,
you should know that we always
hunt in packs. ok dude?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:51 AM

I heard that haikus
Confuse and dumbfound retards
Did I miss something?

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:54 AM

I'll clear a few things up:

'Baggard's no poet.
I'm not very young, either.
I can take your mocks.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:54 AM

Brotha bag is pleased young jedi has learned the ways of the douche..Ahh Chardoney

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:55 AM

Two weeks in a row
I'm stuck in early Friday
Morning meetings, Shit!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:55 AM

'Baggard has thick skin?
Ahhhhh, that's a good trait to have
when hunting the 'bags.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:56 AM

Scrotimus, yes sir
But I offer one small change:
Candy in liquor

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:56 AM

@bcs...do you tap out the syllables on your desk too? hilarious. people walk by my office and look at me like i'm wearing a clown suit. not that that's any different from any day around here though.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:56 AM

Happy halloween
To all you spooky posters
Time to start drinking!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:57 AM

Don't fuck with hunters.
That message is very clear
We will give beat-down

Does anyone else
Find on Fridays that they start
counting syllables?

When I wake Friday
I begin to speak haiku
It's natural now.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 7:57 AM

Merle 'Baggard caves in.
welcome to the family dude.
let's go 'bag hunting.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:58 AM

@pfah, 7:56 a.m. -

All I can do on Friday mornings is picture the South Park episode and Cartman's continual "God dammits!"

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:58 AM

Haiku too basic
Merle is member of MENSA
Dips nachos in paste

# posted by

jeff g. : 7:58 AM

@pfah indeed

luckily i have a corner office and only got caught a few times.

you competing in the hcwdb halloween competition this weekend?

# posted by

bcs : 7:59 AM

i made the home page.
thanks DB1. i've found my
'Special Purpose'. yay!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:00 AM

Oops nevermind that
Assimilated was Merle
Haiku is too fun

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:00 AM

@pfah

I count on fingers
Troubling to my coworkers
Since we write math books

In new Calculus,
I will include Haiku Math
Give kids some real skills

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:00 AM

counting syllables?
no tapping on desk for me.
use fingers to count.

# posted by

George S : 8:00 AM

@bcs...shit man, i wish we were. we're going to go see my mom this weekend. my uncle's visiting from Rome too. no Halloween for us. bummer. i think mrs. pfah and i could have made a run for the title too. are you guys competing?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:02 AM

John has ten apples
He gives three to his sister
How many are left?

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:03 AM

-Haiku break-

I, too count out the syllables on my desk. My coworkers are cool about it. They even give suggestions and "play along" with me on Friday mornings. They humor me well.

@Crucial. I absolutely HATE our monthly "all-staff" time-wasters on the 2nd Friday of the month. I'd rather have my nutsack shaven with a chainsaw.

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 8:03 AM

@pfah i might compete i dunno. i got a party on saturday, wanna get all tricked out as xenu but i dont know if the scientology wig shop is open tommorow.

# posted by

bcs : 8:04 AM

I'm not competing -
As a single man, I could
dress up like a douche.....

.....but whither the hott?
I could carve out a pumpkin
and scrape out the goo.....

.....turning my right hand
orange, and then put lipstick
on it. TMI?

# posted by

Wheezer : 8:06 AM

John has ten airplane
Liquor bottles, writes Haikus
And now there are none

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 8:07 AM

Co-workers urged me
To dress as douchebag today
Hair great for blowout

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:07 AM

massengill starts work
On new all-verse math textbook
New wave in learning

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:07 AM

Samurai Score thread
Shows exponential growing
Find derivative

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:09 AM

Back on topic:

Usher's big glasses
hide the ugly that would be
scaring that hot ass.

Ok, 'nough of this.
Gotta study if I wan-
na pass my grad exam.

-Merle 'Baggard

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:09 AM

wheeze, be careful when
fucking a pumpkin. better to
remove candle first.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:10 AM

ok time to do
actual real work today
toodles for now dudes

# posted by

bcs : 8:11 AM

@pfah

Yea I was going to, but the extreme mocking I would receive from the guys at my shop has persuaded me to make the apprentice do it instead.

@crucial head

I wondered if you were still asleep, oh wait, you were. Have some Makers, it puts hair on your chest, and gives your breath a natural aphrodisiac quality.

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 8:12 AM

everything is good in world of douche..

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:12 AM

Baggard shows poor form
Splits "wanna" with hyphen, but
has chosen right path

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:13 AM

A squared plus B squared
Pythagorean theorem
That guy was crazy

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:16 AM

Douche: "I'm so gonna bang this chick!"

Hottie: "Hes' got no idea my dick is bigger than his."

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:24 AM

She looks like porn star.
Tabitha Stevens maybe?
Can't search here at work...

# posted by

Doucheous Scrotimus : 8:26 AM

Math is integral
to understanding haiku.
Look at all angles.

# posted by

Wheezer : 8:27 AM

I have things to do -
To all of you sick fuckers:
Happy Hallowe'en!

# posted by

Wheezer : 8:28 AM

Brobag likes boxed wine
Douche's face like asphault burn
Hot smokes Parliaments

# posted by

JD : 8:34 AM

@massengill

Pythagoras was
indeed crazy; had a cult.
Check out his bio.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagoreanism

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:37 AM

STD's are real
Brobag doesn't even care
Douche welcomes the burn

# posted by

JD : 8:37 AM

Work is lame today
Want to go to a bar and
See hotts dressed like sluts

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:38 AM

Shiny blast shields
and a dorky smirk are just
lipstick on a poo.

# posted by

Karen Eliot : 8:45 AM

Mean as hell to bags
Adolf Skroatler Baggenstein
Where the fuck are you?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:48 AM

I too have wondered
Wither Adolf Baggenstien?
Knee-deep in awesome

# posted by

jeff g. : 8:58 AM

There's already more
Than one hundred and fifty
Haikus don't be late

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 9:18 AM

Been gone for a while
but halloween brings me back
and so do the hotts

Ghost of Isaac Hayes
lurks in the back sipping wine
Must be hell I guess

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:16 AM

Don't you just hate it
When Bleeths have more tattoos than
the douchebags with them?

His accoutrements
don't seem so bad compared to
her arm angel tatt.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:32 AM

those two little hands
that dangle from her bosom
kinda freak me out

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:42 AM

Merle is stuck in a
nether-zone and must be mocked
as a 'bag himself.

It takes some skill and
effort to fit thoughts into
prescribed syllables.

Merle won't succumb to
a higher power and just wants
quickie word pleasure.

I offer many
cans of whoop-ass opened
and ready to whomp.

His candy-ass will
feel the wrath of many blog-
gers on Hallowe'en.

He must be mocked and
the goblins be made to go
grab his tainted soul.

He steals the ener-
gy of this photo when he
complains of haiku.

May Samurai Scrote
do a nasty on Merle for
being such a wank.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:49 AM

Actually, whoop-di,
Merle tried a haiku himself.
He may like it now.

# posted by

Wheezer : 12:32 PM

2 for 3 this week
My 'bags made it. Except for
"Topless Latina"

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:23 PM

Begoggled douchebag,
Hott: nice. Your face swollen from
Wisdom teeth removed

--VS

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:13 PM

Brother in background
Scopin' those tahtitos, man
Depilated chest.

--VS

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:14 PM

Hot chick is spoiled
in land of shirtless douches
by hideous tat.

# posted by

d. baggins v2.0 : 9:15 PM

Oh so many bags
will die when judgment day comes
and I seek revenge

# posted by

d. baggins v2.0 : 9:17 PM

missed Friday haiku
stupid show is to be blamed
work is for the birds

# posted by

creature : 10:22 AM

her tatt reminds me
of her Mexican blackbird
spread between her legs

# posted by

creature : 10:43 AM

Sorry, bcs
I no longer hate you for
nasty penis link

you made me laugh hard
when you bashed Merle Baggard's mom
that douche family

I am always late
to post for Haiku Friday
and all other days.

The snakes in my hair
need lots of conditioner
made from douche's blood

Anyway...haiku?
DJ Bello rims the ass
of Merle Baggard's mom

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 4:14 PM

Friday, October 31, 2008

Friday Haiku

Hot Chicks with Douchebags Google Search:

About Me

Hot Chicks with Douchebags FAQ

Hall of Scrote

Hall of Hott

Ass Pear La Plante

Hall of Pear

Closet of Poo

Purg Hottie

The Future Ex-Mrs. DB1

Pumpy

Samuräì Scrötę

Hall of Mock

archives

Links