Thursday, October 30, 2008
Fan Mail
Jensen writes in with a parable for us to unscramble:
----
R you the guy who created this site??? If you are then, how can a guy being photoed with a hot chick not be considered a douchebag??? You and all the motherf@#kers commenting on this site R just jealous that you all cant get hot chicks n stuff. I say change the title 2 "bitches with douchbags" keep things level.
----
Aha! But whither the projection of the psyche, Jensen?
For, in fact, there are no people in these pictures at all. We have denatured "the real" in our simulacrum. We create our own mirror of absence with which to gaze. As psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan once noted:
As is known, it is in the realm of experience inaugurated by psychoanalysis that we may grasp along what imaginary lines the human organism, in the most intimate recesses of its being, manifests its capture in a symbolic dimension.
This is our symbolic dimension stimulated viscerally, Jensen. The douche and the hott do not in fact exist. The images you see are simply ourselves staring back at us.
And boobies.
Comments:
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db1 I don't really know why you would post that response, to that letter. if jensen understood more than five words of it i would be shocked.
let me put it in words jensen might understand:
"some guy with pretty girl not nice guy. some guy with pretty girl douchebag. being with pretty girl not mean douchebag. but douchebag always try to have picture with pretty girl"
as for your response i think i prefer the more nietzchian idea of staring into the abyss and it staring back. and in this case i mean the ample cleavage on sweet tanya in this picture.
oh...boobies.
let me put it in words jensen might understand:
"some guy with pretty girl not nice guy. some guy with pretty girl douchebag. being with pretty girl not mean douchebag. but douchebag always try to have picture with pretty girl"
as for your response i think i prefer the more nietzchian idea of staring into the abyss and it staring back. and in this case i mean the ample cleavage on sweet tanya in this picture.
oh...boobies.
I want to walk in those mountains. Dude gets a "nottadouche" from me just for getting her to make that face. My right hand says thank you.
Just a little update from the Samurai Scrote situation room. We have transcended the 5300 comment milestone.
Next stop: World Domination!
Some of my fellow nerds here may know, but is there some sort of record for the most comments on a single internet blog post?
Next stop: World Domination!
Some of my fellow nerds here may know, but is there some sort of record for the most comments on a single internet blog post?
Sheiit! Darksock beat me to the Sam Scrote update in the last thread. I should read the older posts first. Oh Trashcan, wherefore artst thou gonst?
Bewbays!
Bewbays!
Given the miserable grammar and spelling coupled with a complete lack of a coherent, educated thought, I believe that 'Jensen' is in fact Scroteboy Slim masquerading as someone else.
Either that, or this dude is just a douchebag...oh, excuse me, a ‘douchbag’, whatever the hell that is.
Douche!
Either that, or this dude is just a douchebag...oh, excuse me, a ‘douchbag’, whatever the hell that is.
Douche!
# posted by 
: 3:55 PM
: 3:55 PM
I asked my teacher, "Sensei, why does the sight of a slack-jawed douche with a traffic-safety-orange spread collar incite such murderous rage?"
And my teacher replied, "Grasshopper, the enlightened do not ask why. They only seek to sharpen their chainsaws on the douchebag's shriveled nutsack. Truly this is the path of wisdom."
And my teacher replied, "Grasshopper, the enlightened do not ask why. They only seek to sharpen their chainsaws on the douchebag's shriveled nutsack. Truly this is the path of wisdom."
Sweet mother of mountains, that there kids is one hell of a rack. Soooo like to rest a pool cue between them.
# posted by : 4:15 PM
: 4:15 PM
These are the kinds of douchebags we get here in so cal. Its a joke, but its still funny as shit.
Yes, I already know I have no idea how to do hyperlinks so if someone can help a non-brotha out, I'd appreciate it. Don't wheeze, those directions were cryptic and bcs' link was traumatizing.
Enjoy:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6c4cc32cee/douche-off-from-baratsandbereta
Yes, I already know I have no idea how to do hyperlinks so if someone can help a non-brotha out, I'd appreciate it. Don't wheeze, those directions were cryptic and bcs' link was traumatizing.
Enjoy:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6c4cc32cee/douche-off-from-baratsandbereta
Damn Jensen and his razor-sharp intellect. I am jealous that I can't get hot chicks n stuff.
# posted by : 4:44 PM
: 4:44 PM
I like this gal. She chose THIS DOLL to model her looks and facial expression .
Exxxxccccccceeelllent!
R U gonna click it or Rnt U?
Exxxxccccccceeelllent!
R U gonna click it or Rnt U?
Jensen,
My good man, it is not jealousy that drives us to comment on the total choads that pollute our society with their incessant peacocking. Nay, it is the secret joy we recieve from the mocking of well deserved douchebags and our inability to understand the complex reasons as to why any woman would be so desperate as to be seen with let alone copulate with said douche.
To think us jealous and unable to get a hott to "smile like a donut" is an asinine presumption and rends your words meaningless and empty. Like my balls are after viddying such voluptuous luft balloons.
In other words, boobs.
My good man, it is not jealousy that drives us to comment on the total choads that pollute our society with their incessant peacocking. Nay, it is the secret joy we recieve from the mocking of well deserved douchebags and our inability to understand the complex reasons as to why any woman would be so desperate as to be seen with let alone copulate with said douche.
To think us jealous and unable to get a hott to "smile like a donut" is an asinine presumption and rends your words meaningless and empty. Like my balls are after viddying such voluptuous luft balloons.
In other words, boobs.
This is one of the rarest of rare pictures where a single individual...scratch that where a pair of funbags is so awe inspiring that it just doesn't f'n matter what else is in the shot. Holy crap it looks like she smuggling two very large flesh colored bowling balls across the border to Miguels Rockabowl! I believe the Dalai Lama once asked what the sound of one hand typing was. I now have the answer, it's uuunnggghhh.
She's so freakin hot I'd gladly sell one of Darksocks testicles, the descended one, for the brief pleasure of licking the inside of her gym shoes.
Damnit hand me a kleenex!
She's so freakin hot I'd gladly sell one of Darksocks testicles, the descended one, for the brief pleasure of licking the inside of her gym shoes.
Damnit hand me a kleenex!
what is essential for Jensen to understand is that this site is a simple expression of meaninglessness when signifiers of desire are reified into fashion.
The main theme of the works of DB1 and others who post here is the role of the observer as poet. However, given the content, it is more a poetry of necro-capitalism drawn through the lens of reified sexuality, i.e., porn. Due to its poetic nature it bifurcates along the lines of irony and disgust.
Baudrillard uses the term ‘Lacanist obscurity’ to denote the defining characteristic, and eventually the absurdity, of materialist society. However, again, due to the bifurcation between irony and disgust, the essential Lacanian power, cathexis, is lost, and we end up in a hall of mirrors between the vacancy of the observed and the powerless observer: a complete reification.
Thusly reified, the subject is interpolated into a debased narrativity as a totality. It could be said that DB1 suggests the use of subsemiotic objectivism to modify sexuality from an organic framework to an information exchange between blank players.
However, this all occurs in a context of a Web2.0 social construct, where groups arbitrarily denote borders to create identity, all of it riven with the abundance of digital re-appropriations concerning not narrative per se, but neonarrative qualia.
Normally, one could use dialectic theory to attack outmoded, sexist perceptions of consciousness, and the site becomes a self critique. But in fact, nothing of the sort is
possible, as such a critique would require the position of a quantal state where an objective reality would be a necessary subjunctive construct. As none is forthcoming, ludic forms of critique come to the fore.
In essence, the site describes a predominant concern: the concept of postcultural culture.
“Society is fundamentally used in the service of class divisions,” says Bataille. But the douchebag is not of a single class, and are not tethered to a strict Marxian analysis. Unfortunately, the Bleeth is also not tied to a class, either. As a result, one could think of this, the douchebag/bleeth duality, as a post-Marxian dialectic of poo. But this would be a shallow and unnecessarily dismissive analysis.
The main theme of the site is not the narrative of the douchebag/bleeth duality, but an a-narrativity in a meaningless dialectic of emptiness. If postcultural analysis holds, then the theme of the site is postmodernist. If the site itself is truly an a-narrative, then it is more a hypermodernist gamesaying. One might think this would lead to a post-dialectic rationalism, but it is clear that it is too firmly rooted in a post-postmodernist parody of an inverted victorian romanticism.
This leads directly to a consensus of absurdity, as one is faced with a choice: either reject subsemiotic objectivism or conclude that class, perhaps ironically, has intrinsic meaning, but only if narrativity is interchangeable with art.
As pointed out earlier, the primary theme of the postcultural narrative is the difference between society and class. In a sense, postcultural narrative implies that the task of the artist is significant form, and in a managed society of expressive individualism, the douchebag seeks just such significant form. That is denotes a complete preclusion of intellection is not of his concern, as his focus is upon the bleeth.
The bleeth, as the object of douche desire, need only adjust the attractors of the douchebag matrix, a postmodern grid of body parts, clothing, and orange tanning spray, and these become the meter and rhyme of the poetry of the observer, for the douche and bleeth perform their observations of themselves as a cultural dialectic of poo.
But if a-narrativity of the duality holds, we have to choose between the theory of postcultural metrics and analytics or a patriarchial feminism based in the surrender of sexuality in its reified aporia.
The proof of this was in my using the postmodern generator's extended Markov Engine to produce the ideas needed, and then combine it with my own insights to create this analysis of the site, thusly making this a discourse based in an extended capacity, per McLuhan, where Web2.0 technology acts an enhanced central nervous system.
The main theme of the works of DB1 and others who post here is the role of the observer as poet. However, given the content, it is more a poetry of necro-capitalism drawn through the lens of reified sexuality, i.e., porn. Due to its poetic nature it bifurcates along the lines of irony and disgust.
Baudrillard uses the term ‘Lacanist obscurity’ to denote the defining characteristic, and eventually the absurdity, of materialist society. However, again, due to the bifurcation between irony and disgust, the essential Lacanian power, cathexis, is lost, and we end up in a hall of mirrors between the vacancy of the observed and the powerless observer: a complete reification.
Thusly reified, the subject is interpolated into a debased narrativity as a totality. It could be said that DB1 suggests the use of subsemiotic objectivism to modify sexuality from an organic framework to an information exchange between blank players.
However, this all occurs in a context of a Web2.0 social construct, where groups arbitrarily denote borders to create identity, all of it riven with the abundance of digital re-appropriations concerning not narrative per se, but neonarrative qualia.
Normally, one could use dialectic theory to attack outmoded, sexist perceptions of consciousness, and the site becomes a self critique. But in fact, nothing of the sort is
possible, as such a critique would require the position of a quantal state where an objective reality would be a necessary subjunctive construct. As none is forthcoming, ludic forms of critique come to the fore.
In essence, the site describes a predominant concern: the concept of postcultural culture.
“Society is fundamentally used in the service of class divisions,” says Bataille. But the douchebag is not of a single class, and are not tethered to a strict Marxian analysis. Unfortunately, the Bleeth is also not tied to a class, either. As a result, one could think of this, the douchebag/bleeth duality, as a post-Marxian dialectic of poo. But this would be a shallow and unnecessarily dismissive analysis.
The main theme of the site is not the narrative of the douchebag/bleeth duality, but an a-narrativity in a meaningless dialectic of emptiness. If postcultural analysis holds, then the theme of the site is postmodernist. If the site itself is truly an a-narrative, then it is more a hypermodernist gamesaying. One might think this would lead to a post-dialectic rationalism, but it is clear that it is too firmly rooted in a post-postmodernist parody of an inverted victorian romanticism.
This leads directly to a consensus of absurdity, as one is faced with a choice: either reject subsemiotic objectivism or conclude that class, perhaps ironically, has intrinsic meaning, but only if narrativity is interchangeable with art.
As pointed out earlier, the primary theme of the postcultural narrative is the difference between society and class. In a sense, postcultural narrative implies that the task of the artist is significant form, and in a managed society of expressive individualism, the douchebag seeks just such significant form. That is denotes a complete preclusion of intellection is not of his concern, as his focus is upon the bleeth.
The bleeth, as the object of douche desire, need only adjust the attractors of the douchebag matrix, a postmodern grid of body parts, clothing, and orange tanning spray, and these become the meter and rhyme of the poetry of the observer, for the douche and bleeth perform their observations of themselves as a cultural dialectic of poo.
But if a-narrativity of the duality holds, we have to choose between the theory of postcultural metrics and analytics or a patriarchial feminism based in the surrender of sexuality in its reified aporia.
The proof of this was in my using the postmodern generator's extended Markov Engine to produce the ideas needed, and then combine it with my own insights to create this analysis of the site, thusly making this a discourse based in an extended capacity, per McLuhan, where Web2.0 technology acts an enhanced central nervous system.
Blogger Vin Douchal said...
So , Steve, in other words, "Boobies"?
DING! "OKAY Tom, tell Vinny what he's won!"
"Well, Steve, he's won a full set of high speed water rollers for that fun filled open season, a pair of African mung skis, as well as a 14ft cube of swiss bullion and look, and look now - a refrigerator filled with Chef Antoine's southern fried glimps, toasted, refried, water removed, and reduced to a golden perfection right before your very eyes. And look - it has two drawers where none are needed, and you close the door and... THE LIGHT STAYS ON!!!"
So , Steve, in other words, "Boobies"?
DING! "OKAY Tom, tell Vinny what he's won!"
"Well, Steve, he's won a full set of high speed water rollers for that fun filled open season, a pair of African mung skis, as well as a 14ft cube of swiss bullion and look, and look now - a refrigerator filled with Chef Antoine's southern fried glimps, toasted, refried, water removed, and reduced to a golden perfection right before your very eyes. And look - it has two drawers where none are needed, and you close the door and... THE LIGHT STAYS ON!!!"
First of all:
M O T O R B O A T ! ! ! ! !
OK, now for Jensen.....is it possible for you to type out "a-r-e"? Please, do such a thing from this point forward - you did, after all, manage to type out "y-o-u," so I'm proud of you for that. Don't substitute silly shortcuts for words that are a mere 2 letters longer. There is no limit of 100, 150, etc. characters in the text field of your email program (I hope), so you should feel free to crack your typing knuckles and spell out all of your words. Let those fingers fly!
Regarding "jealous": no, we are decidedly not "just jealous" of those who can date hot chicks. That reply is as overdone as any orange bleeth who spent too much time in the tanning booth, or as the hair of a porcupine-headed douchebag (see: "Fung") creating the world's latest oil shortage.
And before you pop in here as an anonymous poster, we are also not "haters." Well, not in the modern pop culture sense of being those who randomly posit negative criticism for some weird thrill of doing so. We do, however, vent our disgust at those who blindly follow trends for the sake of mindlessly fitting in. To wit, the "douchebag." Why is it seemingly so necessary to dress in such an overtly cocky manner? See the following list of adouchetrements:
- spiked and gelled hair (AKA "the blowout")
- Affliction/Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier t-shirts
- mandannas/wristdannas
- white belts
- oversized wristwatches
- shirtless at the club
- sunglasses worn indoors and/or at night by those who clearly aren't blind (no seeing-eye dogs around.....mainly because they'd bite the douchebags, but I digress.....)
- the pungent odor of Tag/Axe bodyspray
- the ubiquitous red cup and/or Grey Goose bottle
- tribal tattoos and other misplaced (ahem) "body art"
- Jebus bling and/or unearned dogtags
- orange skin from overuse of sunless tanning cream
- kissy lips and hand gestures/"gang" signs when being photographed
- smug looks of entitlement when photographed with a hott
- douche moves such as "the Peaches Point"
- popped collars
- 10 degree (or more) hat tilt
I may have actually missed a couple, but I got to a point where I forgot where I was going, so I cut the list off. Anyway, today's douchebag may exhibit some or all the habits in, but is not limited to, the preceding list of jackassery.
Our question is "Why?" At least mine is, though I'm sure other regular posters here occasionally ask themselves as well. But is there really that much power with the "strength in numbers" mindset? Does fitting in like that truly provide validation for one's douchebaggery?
Jensen, you can view these as "rhetorical questions" (Google it) if you wish. Just think about them, and reply here if you must. I would certainly like these "needs" explained to me if there are logical reasons for them. But if all you do is think about them and ask yourself the same thing, then you have learned the reasons we post what we do here, and perhaps I have helped lead one douchebag (or potential choadwank) down the road to recovery.
- Don't Wheeze the Douche!
M O T O R B O A T ! ! ! ! !
OK, now for Jensen.....is it possible for you to type out "a-r-e"? Please, do such a thing from this point forward - you did, after all, manage to type out "y-o-u," so I'm proud of you for that. Don't substitute silly shortcuts for words that are a mere 2 letters longer. There is no limit of 100, 150, etc. characters in the text field of your email program (I hope), so you should feel free to crack your typing knuckles and spell out all of your words. Let those fingers fly!
Regarding "jealous": no, we are decidedly not "just jealous" of those who can date hot chicks. That reply is as overdone as any orange bleeth who spent too much time in the tanning booth, or as the hair of a porcupine-headed douchebag (see: "Fung") creating the world's latest oil shortage.
And before you pop in here as an anonymous poster, we are also not "haters." Well, not in the modern pop culture sense of being those who randomly posit negative criticism for some weird thrill of doing so. We do, however, vent our disgust at those who blindly follow trends for the sake of mindlessly fitting in. To wit, the "douchebag." Why is it seemingly so necessary to dress in such an overtly cocky manner? See the following list of adouchetrements:
- spiked and gelled hair (AKA "the blowout")
- Affliction/Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier t-shirts
- mandannas/wristdannas
- white belts
- oversized wristwatches
- shirtless at the club
- sunglasses worn indoors and/or at night by those who clearly aren't blind (no seeing-eye dogs around.....mainly because they'd bite the douchebags, but I digress.....)
- the pungent odor of Tag/Axe bodyspray
- the ubiquitous red cup and/or Grey Goose bottle
- tribal tattoos and other misplaced (ahem) "body art"
- Jebus bling and/or unearned dogtags
- orange skin from overuse of sunless tanning cream
- kissy lips and hand gestures/"gang" signs when being photographed
- smug looks of entitlement when photographed with a hott
- douche moves such as "the Peaches Point"
- popped collars
- 10 degree (or more) hat tilt
I may have actually missed a couple, but I got to a point where I forgot where I was going, so I cut the list off. Anyway, today's douchebag may exhibit some or all the habits in, but is not limited to, the preceding list of jackassery.
Our question is "Why?" At least mine is, though I'm sure other regular posters here occasionally ask themselves as well. But is there really that much power with the "strength in numbers" mindset? Does fitting in like that truly provide validation for one's douchebaggery?
Jensen, you can view these as "rhetorical questions" (Google it) if you wish. Just think about them, and reply here if you must. I would certainly like these "needs" explained to me if there are logical reasons for them. But if all you do is think about them and ask yourself the same thing, then you have learned the reasons we post what we do here, and perhaps I have helped lead one douchebag (or potential choadwank) down the road to recovery.
- Don't Wheeze the Douche!
I Disagree on the wholesale indictment of The Observer.
-Esp. as posited in the "Cast the first stone, ye who is without sin."-thesis of The Bible. (religion aside)
The Condition of Observation and articulation of it is NOT Perfection in the Observer.
=>I.e: an ex-con can still say, "Hey look at Steve Harwell over there in the orange shirt; -he's really Smacking His Bitch Up!"
AND:
Not All Oservationist Commentary is "Projection" in the psychological sense of the term.
-Hell, even a 3rd-Grader can say, "I know You are, but what am I?"
Hence, the strength of this site. Consensus ~can weed out the 'projection' of various individuals.
++Oh, and Great Googly Moogly, I see more Turqouise Bewbies!!!!!
-Esp. as posited in the "Cast the first stone, ye who is without sin."-thesis of The Bible. (religion aside)
The Condition of Observation and articulation of it is NOT Perfection in the Observer.
=>I.e: an ex-con can still say, "Hey look at Steve Harwell over there in the orange shirt; -he's really Smacking His Bitch Up!"
AND:
Not All Oservationist Commentary is "Projection" in the psychological sense of the term.
-Hell, even a 3rd-Grader can say, "I know You are, but what am I?"
Hence, the strength of this site. Consensus ~can weed out the 'projection' of various individuals.
++Oh, and Great Googly Moogly, I see more Turqouise Bewbies!!!!!
# posted by : 6:15 PM
: 6:15 PM
His douchebauchery is flagrant. He tries to conceal the "past his prime, that old guy" uberdouche ora to no avail, for we see right through his doucheflage. And we know he cant wait to doucheappear to savor the scent of his freshl soiled digit.
# posted by : 6:26 PM
: 6:26 PM
The Book of Doucherotomy Chapter 9.
5. And whereupon did Xenu notice what boobies did abound throughout the land, 6. and lo, did there arise an uncomfortable tumescence in Xenu's nether region. 7. Xenu did grasp the boobies, and did he tweak the nipple. 8. And Xenu saw that the Bleeth was pleased. 9. And Xenu said that this was good. 10. And thusly Xenu sprayed himself with more Axe, 11. So that the Bleeth would not notice the codfish ass stench of his breath.
5. And whereupon did Xenu notice what boobies did abound throughout the land, 6. and lo, did there arise an uncomfortable tumescence in Xenu's nether region. 7. Xenu did grasp the boobies, and did he tweak the nipple. 8. And Xenu saw that the Bleeth was pleased. 9. And Xenu said that this was good. 10. And thusly Xenu sprayed himself with more Axe, 11. So that the Bleeth would not notice the codfish ass stench of his breath.
Very metaphysical fellers, but before you over analyze it remember that the Jensens of the world are like ChadMac who said all we needed to hear when he said "Books are boring...let me know when the movie comes out".
This explains their failed attempts at taking on the gargantuan task of going up against the likes of Db1 and his minions.
Fodder.
This explains their failed attempts at taking on the gargantuan task of going up against the likes of Db1 and his minions.
Fodder.
Is there such a thing as too drunk to post? 'cause I could even read half these comments. I would like to express me outrage at these bastards who think we are always jealous simply because we insult their brethren. My ego is WAY too big to be jealous.
The contrast is hilarious. It's like trying to take out a fly with a nuclear warhead instead of a flyswatter.
Good volley ol DB1!
Good volley ol DB1!
# posted by : 7:24 PM
: 7:24 PM
"R you the guy who created this site???"
wow. did Jensen read your intro on the left side of the site? of COURSE you're the person who created this site. you say "email me and i'll take down the photo."
man, the sheer stupidity of the average person continues to amaze and entertain me.
if you haven't seen it yet, go rent/buy 'Idiocracy'. think it won't happen? you're wrong. unless you do something about it. and that's what we're trying to do here.
fuck you Jensen. you're an idiot who is wallowing in your own stupidity. the best part is that you don't even realize it. actually, it's not the best part. it's the saddest part.
get a grip, you fucking noncontributor.
wow. did Jensen read your intro on the left side of the site? of COURSE you're the person who created this site. you say "email me and i'll take down the photo."
man, the sheer stupidity of the average person continues to amaze and entertain me.
if you haven't seen it yet, go rent/buy 'Idiocracy'. think it won't happen? you're wrong. unless you do something about it. and that's what we're trying to do here.
fuck you Jensen. you're an idiot who is wallowing in your own stupidity. the best part is that you don't even realize it. actually, it's not the best part. it's the saddest part.
get a grip, you fucking noncontributor.
# posted by : 7:42 PM
: 7:42 PM
Mystic Bitch with Nigletbag:
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//ydownload_ap/20081030/photos_net_ap_pl/1225407597/
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//ydownload_ap/20081030/photos_net_ap_pl/1225407597/
# posted by : 8:24 PM
: 8:24 PM
Not to mention assholes, BHO (8:24). Get a grip on the 21st century, you polesmoking fucknut.
# posted by : 8:35 PM
: 8:35 PM
Uh, yeah, what Steve said. And this is my new favorite phrase "a post-Marxian dialectic of poo"...if you can link Marx to Douchebags, then U R da man (to use Jensen's words)
He looks eerily like this fuck wad I dated in college which is freaky.
That DoucheLympics video was funny and I saw a guy dressed EXACTLY like Luke from the video-popped collar, hat tilted at a 15 degree angle, torn jeans, white belt...I'm honing my 'bag hunting skills day by day...
He looks eerily like this fuck wad I dated in college which is freaky.
That DoucheLympics video was funny and I saw a guy dressed EXACTLY like Luke from the video-popped collar, hat tilted at a 15 degree angle, torn jeans, white belt...I'm honing my 'bag hunting skills day by day...
# posted by : 9:04 PM
: 9:04 PM
Why must all you erudite folks block my viewing pleasure with your words?
-Frodouche Baggins
BOOBIES
-Frodouche Baggins
BOOBIES
# posted by : 9:20 PM
: 9:20 PM
nodbsforme wrote:
Uh, yeah, what Steve said. And this is my new favorite phrase "a post-Marxian dialectic of poo"...if you can link Marx to Douchebags, then U R da man (to use Jensen's words)
It's not so much linking Marx to DBs, as much as using Marxist intellectual tools to understand scrotebag Tools, like Jensen.
Uh, yeah, what Steve said. And this is my new favorite phrase "a post-Marxian dialectic of poo"...if you can link Marx to Douchebags, then U R da man (to use Jensen's words)
It's not so much linking Marx to DBs, as much as using Marxist intellectual tools to understand scrotebag Tools, like Jensen.
Oh, and about this picture:
He's a ventriloquist, and she's his dummy.
He: So how're you today, Jenny?
She: Fine, considering I have some stinky douchebag's arm up in me all the way to the elbow.
He: It's how I make you talk to the audience.
She: It's how you get your jollies you stupid fucking perv.
He: Now, you wouldn't be so mean to me if you knew me better.
She: how's that? You're a dopey scrotebag. A douche among shitstains. You suck.
He: Well, it just so happens I have a really great job when I'm not talking with you. You might respect me if you knew about that.
She: Really? Well tell me, fuckface, what do you do fora living?
He: ***I*** am a criminal lawyer!
She: HA! Not too redundant, huh?
He: Well say good bye to the nice people, Jenny.
She: Aaah - fuck off the lot of you. We're here all week. Try the veal, it's really good. And don't forget to tip your waitress!
He's a ventriloquist, and she's his dummy.
He: So how're you today, Jenny?
She: Fine, considering I have some stinky douchebag's arm up in me all the way to the elbow.
He: It's how I make you talk to the audience.
She: It's how you get your jollies you stupid fucking perv.
He: Now, you wouldn't be so mean to me if you knew me better.
She: how's that? You're a dopey scrotebag. A douche among shitstains. You suck.
He: Well, it just so happens I have a really great job when I'm not talking with you. You might respect me if you knew about that.
She: Really? Well tell me, fuckface, what do you do fora living?
He: ***I*** am a criminal lawyer!
She: HA! Not too redundant, huh?
He: Well say good bye to the nice people, Jenny.
She: Aaah - fuck off the lot of you. We're here all week. Try the veal, it's really good. And don't forget to tip your waitress!
teve @ 5:12 I don't know whether to laugh or give you a PhD. Classic. But let's give our brave dissenter the benefit of the doubt. Yes, we are jealous. But as the great Robert Crumb said, we don't want to be like the guys that get the hot chicks, we just want to be with them. We protest that no male with any reason would stoop to doing what the douchebags do.
This Hottie has a heart-on, among other things (boobies) and is once again showstopping with the greatest color blue since the Siamese cat eyes were invented and Sleeping Beauty turquoise was first mined.
Jensen is obviously a thick fellow in more than one way, but the quality of his junk shall remain a mystery. Who wants to know???
Jensen is obviously a thick fellow in more than one way, but the quality of his junk shall remain a mystery. Who wants to know???
# posted by : 10:27 PM
: 10:27 PM
God lord would you look at those...
and the look on her face is like she's never seen them before either
and the look on her face is like she's never seen them before either
The first 10 mins of idoicracy are the best. Catch it on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1sE1E3z7jU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1sE1E3z7jU
# posted by : 11:25 PM
: 11:25 PM
Steve Z,
I wish I had my arm up her to my elbow.
There is nothing she could ask me to do to her to which I would reply anything but "ybybrlrlrlrrrokay"
I wish I had my arm up her to my elbow.
There is nothing she could ask me to do to her to which I would reply anything but "ybybrlrlrlrrrokay"
# posted by : 12:48 AM
: 12:48 AM
Oh yeah, there's a douche in the picture too.
And fuck if 8 San Miguels fired in rapid succession won't make you typo the word 'gaijin'.
And fuck if 8 San Miguels fired in rapid succession won't make you typo the word 'gaijin'.
# posted by : 12:49 AM
: 12:49 AM
Issss arigghht Gaijindoosh...
... i shumptimes feel the shame way. 'member, drugths r bad, mmmm k? 'Cept win yew can't shleep. Ahhmmbienths r gould.
Cheersh bruvar!
... i shumptimes feel the shame way. 'member, drugths r bad, mmmm k? 'Cept win yew can't shleep. Ahhmmbienths r gould.
Cheersh bruvar!
The sheer gravitational force of her chest is pulling the douchebag toward her. Herein, we see the phenomenon of a basic law of 'baggery - that if a woman is such a baguette that she overcompensates for a lack of confidence in her femininity by installing cartoon-sized breasts, total asshats like Leisure Suit Larry here are automatically drawn to her, thus ensuring a perfect match of douche and douchette.
If, by some slim slim chance, these mammaries are real, all laws of 'baggery (and physics in general) will be declared null and void, and my brain will implode upon processing of such knowledge.
As for Jensen, all I'll say is that the two questions you use to open your missive are among the stupidest I've ever heard, rivaling the more commonly mind-numbing "Is that you?"
If, by some slim slim chance, these mammaries are real, all laws of 'baggery (and physics in general) will be declared null and void, and my brain will implode upon processing of such knowledge.
As for Jensen, all I'll say is that the two questions you use to open your missive are among the stupidest I've ever heard, rivaling the more commonly mind-numbing "Is that you?"
# posted by : 4:24 AM
: 4:24 AM
Wow! Somebody got hit by the watermelon truck!
It's too bad I "can't get hot chicks n stuff." Everyone take a step back. We're dealing with uncharted literary powers. What a double chinned douche...
It's too bad I "can't get hot chicks n stuff." Everyone take a step back. We're dealing with uncharted literary powers. What a double chinned douche...
I think she just realized she was being photographed next to this douche... that is the 'Oh Crap, don't put this on the web' look...
# posted by : 10:40 AM
: 10:40 AM
Her boobs are like 4X as thick as her arms. This violates the golden ratio, but I don't care.
Ta-tas!!!!!
Ta-tas!!!!!
# posted by : 1:09 PM
: 1:09 PM
FAGG!!! You need to spend some time in the gym. And your hott chick really isn't so hott!!!
# posted by : 10:56 AM
: 10:56 AM
Yes, they do make boobs implant bigger than your head. But they are by special order only.
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# posted by : 3:58 PM
: 3:58 PM << Home
