Just to make myself feel better, I'm going to tell myself that Jane was just mugging for the camera at the beach when X-games Douche lurked into the frame and asked her if she wanted tickets to the gun show.
 

This looks like a douche couple. They deserve one another's douche-i-tude.
 

i suspect this is one of those photos where instead of the photographer instructing them to "Say cheese", the instructions were to "Douche it up!"
 

My hope is that there's a man-eating shark off to the right. Maybe this one's hungry and will eat douche and bleeth meat.
 

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Douch-shark!"

How many lap dances did she have to do to pay for those tats?
 

Douchebags are a crucial Swing Voter Demographic in the 2008 Presidential Election. But will they make the Top 50?

Do you know the Top 50 Swing Voter Demographics in 2008?

#50 - Hockey Moms
#49 - Godless Hollywood Liberals
#48 - Baristas
#47 - People with STDs
#46 - ???

http://swingvoters.wordpress.com
 

Oh yes, the muscle-man arm-flex thing. I think we did that back in third grade, long before western civilization began this backwards slide into oblivion.
I wonder if he also does the old artificial-fart-under-the-arm thing. It was a big hit in grammar school.
 

she's a hot piece and all, but the half sleeve tat makes little head go back to sleep. Do away with the ink and little head may weep.
 

Sometimes , I go to the beach early-like to beat the crowds and get a good sweaty nap in the sun while having LSD flashbacks to the Pink Floyd playing in my i-Pod.

Then two obnoxious assholes that think the beach is their audience show up carrying a boombox playing really shitty '80's music (that's redundant, I know) really loud decide that although there are acres of beachfront to plant their narcissistic asses, they pull up right next door to me thinking, "Hey ! There's someone right there! Let's start a gathering!"

These two look like every whoop-ti-doo, think they are the shit, asshole fuck in SoCal. They think they are the shit because they are edgy as in they have tattoos, drug induced bodies, phony positive attitudes, and high self-esteem .

These people are decidely douchbags. This gal is not hot, BTW. Not in this photo anyway. Maybe when she cleans up she is , but here she's a skank with a moron.

And dude, pull up your shorts, eh?

Gahd, these fuckers piss me off when I've been up 'til 3 AM drinking.
 

Bearly detectable bit of cleave, which is overwelmed by it's proximity to the douche. These two fucktards should be charged with a crime. I'm sure some toxic waste dumping guidelines have been circumvented. I must now light my head on fire and throw myself from the roof so that I may purge this image from my memory.
 

plenty of 1/2 off dos eques last night. spoke to some travelers from denmark at the cantina marina in DC.. all in all a good night.
 

good god db1, pbr is shite. why would you pay for that crap?
 

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. PBRs, too. bad head and worse gut. why? because in this lame-ass, puritanical, sorry excuse for a state (where the townies say "wicked" constantly), the liquor stores close at 10pm. didn't find out about the party until after the bars closed and all they had were PBRs. um...oh yeah, i hope these two never procreate. yuck.
 

Travis Bickle takes Betsy to Coney Island for a little dip in the old toxic swamp. And they swam in the ocean too.
 

Here we see Travis demonstrating the "balls as pull-grips" aggressive fellating method he became famous for in Hollywood parking lots.
 

Wow; so they fixed up Travis Barker by grafting douche-skin onto him?



Awwww, too soon?
 

Went to a local eatery, ate good, then began to slam down the cerveza.

One thing lead to another, we ended up in a Deutsches Dorf (Village), where we began to consume some more Bier.

I woke up this morning in a pool of my own spittal, with a Boxer (it's a dog, you smart asses) snoring in my ear.

Still, I would prefer that scenario over seeing Frankie Muniz (Malcom in the Middle) frolicing with Ms. Skanky HoBag.

Just saying.

- Adolf ☠
 

While I'm at it... the "townies" in Boston who used "wicked" out of habit moved away a generation ago, and now have little suburban scrotes of their own. If you hear the word "wicked" used inside the Boston city limits, the source probably grew up in Long Island, and came to Boston to attend B.U., so that they were far enough from home to get laid without mommy and daddy knowing (and keep the money coming), and close enough to occasionally bring home the massize bag of laundry for mommy (or Conchita) to do.

Douchbags.
 

Yanno, I likes me a girl with sleeve tattoos. Not this girl, but generally, I find they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Again, not this particular girl, though. This one, she has the chlamydia, it seems.
 

This proves she likes the seamen.
 

I'm so happy I found this blog. I always wondered if people felt the same way I did, why guys would sell their soul to get chicks, and why these chicks liked these dudes? What happened to the real freaking men getting chicks? This blog has enlightened me to this concept and now, I get it. These dudes sell their souls to get these chicks. The media fucks everyone up, and chicks want douchebags, and if you don't act like or look like a douchebag, good luck getting these chicks. After being on this site, I realized that my best friend is a complete douchebag, and I wondered why we we're on different levels. But now I know. He values douchebag shit, while I value real men shit. I remembered one time, I had a basketball player on my phone, one of my favs, and I showed him, because it was a sick pic, but he looked at me like I was crazy, and asked why I didn't have any naked chicks on my phone. I love naked chicks, but idk how that would look when I'm in the office. But anyways, just that instant really enlightened me to what he values which are douchebag shit. He got alot more chicks than me, because he is a douchebag. Loud, obnoxious, and do whatever it took to get chicks, and valued material shit, because chicks dig it. I hope our friendship can last, because he's a good guy, but a douchebag. And there is a big difference between alot of my other friends, that are not douches, and him, which I always noticed, and now I know why. These guys are fucking idiots, and I see them everywhere, and wonder why these chicks dig these dudes. Maybe it's because they so called "take care of themselves", but I think in our society, we all know how to take care of ourselves as men, but these guys take to another sad level. You got some real dudes out there, but these whores take douchebags which baffles me if you want to share yourself intimately with these dudes, which shows the respect you have for yourself.
 

I'm Poop-shoot the Sailor Douche
I'm Poop-shoot the Sailor Douche
The bleeths I will hassle
Cause I'm a big asshole
I'm Poop-shoot the Sailor Douche! (toot toot!)
 

Foxy newsgal Julie Banderas just got engaged to a non-douche, so there is hope for many of us yet.

But I see your point, Felix...we are being over-run with douchosity. Just looking at these two pretty nice body-types has me asking the eternal question: If you are so endowed with prime meat, why are you branding yourself with tatts? That's for cattle, and for slaves as our history has shown.

Why incriminate yourself with idiocy, stupidity, douchosity, etc,and scream to everyone that indeed, you are a douchebag or a bleeth?

And what is this visual power of tatting the body and hawking the hair? It's fake-o power. And it stems from the gay underground.

If only the straights all knew this...

And oddly enough, I think it may have started when single junior high and high school girls got permission to stay in school while preggers. At that point; all boundaries fell. So other young folks wise enough not to be in such a situation at that tender age decided THEY needed visual body signals more powerful tha Mother Earth-Preggers Gaia. Hence the tatts and silly hair.

Just a theory, mind you.
 

I'm 1/2 kidding but (@felix), someone please remind me how to spell Ritalin. ;P
 

She looks like she has a third nipple at the bottom of her ribcage. At least I hope thats a third nipple and not some form of herpes.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

It's funny that now that I think about at some moments with my douche bag friend. When we would go out, he always suggested that I pop my collar, and I told him that wasn't my style. Also, I'm not big on tatoos, and I remember he suggested that I should get tats, because chicks dig it. Wow, he was trying to recruit me into douchery lol. Thank god I have my integrity.

And wonky, my bad. I could of wrote more. Just had to get something off my chest that I've been wanting to say for a long time.
 

is that another oil slick off the coast of Santa Barbara?
 

I think it's all Hollywood and not being able to see down the road into the future, it's uber-present living. Hence the tatts. What douche or bleeth is gonna see themselves in 30 or more years with those tatts?????

Like, er, uh, they don't just go away....DUH!!!!!

Or, maybe, jusdt maybe, they'll all wash away in the tide...
 

Welcome aboard Felix.

- Adolf ☠
 

The worm has turned for you, Felix.





And by Felix I mean one of the regs...from...Cleveland?
 

Frolic says to Booger, "What are you looking at Nerd!?"

Booger says to Frolic, "I thought I was looking at my mother's old douchebag, but that's in Ohio."

- Adolf ☠
 

The Buffet is now open.

She has the following available:
Hepatitis c
BV - Bacterial Vaginosis
Chlamydia and LGV
Gonorrhea
Herpes, Genital
HPV - Human Papillomavirus Infection
PID - Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
Syphilis
Trichomoniasis

enjoy, and bon apetit.
 

it's plinky under a new name.... where's gary gnu?
 

ummm

i came here from a link on my fav site that said this was a funny site. WRONG

this guy is buff. so are most of the guys i see when i scroll down on this site. whats the prob? sounds to mean like this place needs to be called band geeks hating studs. sorry but i call it like i see it boys. you should try it sometimes. turn off the computer hit the gym and get a girl like these guys, aint gonna happen sitting there at home pecking away about how you envy hot guys, muffin tops

pathetic

blondee grrl
 

since you don't understand the idea of the site or find the girls attractive blondee, feel free to browse the rest of the internet. we'll be here doing our thing once you figure it out and might want to come back.

cheers
 

Blondee @ 8:09pm,

The timer on your oven is dinging... your fifth batch of muffins is ready for your scarfing pleasure.

Bye.
 

why are there so many guys with ugly ass mohawks? they are cute on small boys who think they are mad gangsta. but you, wall-street-by-day-douche, should know better.
 

"felix" is a douchebag
 

Elastic Snaphole -

You are a cold, calous, disgusting piece of shit... a funny as hell piece of shit!





Fuck Blink 182.
 

blondee girl, that smell of rotting meat is coming from below your gunt...

you may now return to your "fav" site...

what is "fav" anyway? something like your smelly vag?
 

She would be scrumptious with a wedge of peach pie and vanilla ice cream. He would be a delightful snack for a shark.
 

The link at Blondee's favorite site must have come from "Ugly Chicks with non-Douchebags.com".

It's a little known contrarian website where those few humorless Db's that know how to surf the web ( the I.T. guy was in the mail room recently and showed them through grunts and hand signs how to use BOTH buttons on the mouse) can see poor, out of shape, old dudes with our ugly babes at our side.

They mock, they act douchey.

They need no capital letters.

They spell girl as "grrl" and boys as "Boiz".

It's a parrellel universe of them mocking us mocking them.

Heh. Maybe.
 

they have great bodies that they worked for, and theyre goofing off at the beach. later theyll have great sex. maybe she has tats cause she wanted some fuking tats. maybe he has a mohawk cause he owns his own business allowing him to play on the beach with his hot chick, so why the hell not. people like you guys dont even occur to them... go DO something with your lives, itll make you happy, trust me... were having more fun than you ;) ahhh feels good to rant
 

feel free to comment back, though ill wont get to read it... while youre responding to my post ill be at the beach looking good with girls who look better. i must be a douchebag!
 

Anon 3:58pm

We'll be sure to call in the coast guard to let them know a whale will be washing up shortly.
 

Anon 3:58

are you a rocket scientist? (uh that's a joke) your baggery is self evident, & that's good. however, it's safe to say that when the doctor delivered you & your poor mother asked, "what is it?" the doctor replied, "why madam, it is a douchebag."
 

If losers like us didnt matter..... Why would you even stop by to leave a comment? Just curious.
 

blondee grrrl asked her mom, " Why do I have to wear white when I get married?"

"blondee my dear, ALL kitchen appliances come in white."
 

Fuck Fung! His girl is Blondee Grrrl!
 

I see a posed picture of two fit people. They are at the beach and goofing off. Thats what people do at the beach isn't it. Ok so there is some tattoos. So... She has a great smile. And he atleast has a real mohawk. No bling, or wrist cuffs or..... I fail to see the Douchbag, and to me she is very hot.
 

That dude is one of famous CrossFit personalities named Brendan. He really is a total douchebag.
 

Ohh... Crossfit. Ok I'll give him a Douche just for that. I am a trainer and have to deal with those "bags" all the time. Thanks for making things right.
 

Yeah, he is a complete douche bag...he's been hitting on me for years(which I've had fun with!). He needs to lose the childish hairdo.
 

she's in crossfit too http://sharikeener.blogspot.com/
 

Both of them are narcissistic douchebags but she would seem to take the cake. She has a nice body but is spun and wants the world to know it apparently. If your read her blog she is whining about being scorned by her douchebag for another douchebag. It's trailer park drama and the rants of a clueless person who thinks life is all about being famous among other douchebags
 

Sheri is the bomb! Instant celbrity! Holy Moly!! Thanks for the link!