wow- THAT is a douchie pic, though slightly acceptable when vying for bridesmaid Hotts.

hcwdb.com is blocked at my work, so thank allah the extended web address goes unfettered.
 

Where's my Tommy gun?
 

I was informed last week that I will offically be downsized and unemployed as of October 1.

My first thought was " Sweet! I can spend all day on HCwDBs and collect unemloyment!"


True story.
 

Yao Ming strums his blonde lute.
 

They must have paid their mason a king’s ransom to build that authentic river rock fireplace.
 

Damn Douchetoevsky, that blows. I wish you luck in finding a new job.

On the bright side, you can spend October partying at Baron Von Goolo's Holloween Museum of Horrors.
 

@ Crucial-

Thanks, it's actually a good thing. Knew it was coming for a while.

A road trip to the Baron's sounds like a smashing idea...
 

oh thats clever....oh hes so funny...hes playing that girls leg like a guitar...oh how ...clever...



what a turd-nugget.
 

Oh prom-douche, how I hate you. Also, is she standing on a cinder block? How in the hell does that make sense.

She looks like a younger version of Stiffler's mom (http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d159/girlblogetc/stiflersmom.jpg).
 

Guitard Hero ftw!
 

Is that French Stewert form Third Rock from the Sun?
 

O.K., I'll be first to bust out this tired old gem:

"I wouldn't play her like a guitar, but I'd let her play my skin flute."
 

I got caught at work and as a result got my boss hooked on the site as well.
 

Firefox tabs my friend SD. When I hear walking toward my office I just switch to my institution's homepage.
 

Wow, this is the rare 'Eddie goes to prom' pic before he sold his soul to the devil and became an Iron maiden icon.
 

I am lucky to work in a more laid-back office environment. I am only gently teased for my HCwDB obsession.
 

11:01 anon:

Yeah, I got one of my favorite bartenders hooked on the book. I brought it in to gift to a friend and he said, "what the heck is THIS?"

Hilarity ensued, and he even recognized some of the Vegas Bleeths.

He read it for a while, and I started getting better pours on my Cadillac Margs. Then I don't remember much else...
 

I am with Mr. White, I'd let her play my upright organ.
 

more like Guitar Her-o...


see what i did there?


yeah, it's friday. my mind is on all the whiskey i'm gonna consume tonite!
 

@ douchetoevsky...

stupid downsizing! at least you have an upbeat attituse about it, that always helps.

may your time off be spent with as much booze and women as you can handle!

(unless you're married or something. that could get weird.)
 

as somebody once said:

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.



as someone else once said:

Life ain't nothin' but bitches and douchebags.


Amen.
 

@douchetoevsky

Amen.

Make sure you at least snag a stapler or somethin' you know to help them 'downsize their inventory'. Swingline, preferably red.
 

SD, I submit to you that reading HCwDB is advancing your career. Heck, before reading this site daily, I used to show up for work wearing deep cut, skin tight v-neck t-shirts with a matching mandana tilt hat shades combo reaking of AX. While my coworkers drank coffee, I consumed unidentifited things from a red plastic cup. While my co-workers said "Good Morning, Joe", I said "Yo, Bra, how's the bitches?"

Well....no, I didn't, because I'm not an asshat - but I think you follow my point.

"I'm just giving career advice."
 

@ douchetoesvski-

My department got dissolved two years ago. After investing $2M in performance spaces, they got rid of the theatre team. They told us that they couldn't afford to keep paying us to work there. I told them that they would now be paying me to not work. Chumps. You now have federal govenment sanctioned leeway to pursue whatever you want however you want.

As for this wanker: I know the Hong Kong Cavalieres, and you, sir, are no Hong Kong Cavaliere!
 

If my prom date had done that to me, I would have picked up a blunt object and done the world a huge favor by doing away with him.

Also, I just got one of my friends hooked on this website. She and I mock the douchebags on our college campus like it's our job, so we enjoy any opprotunity to further our bag-hunting knowledge.

Just know boys, not all of us women are infected with the bag-virus, only the ones with shit for brains are.

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

you should have shoved your mouse up your boss's ass and then smacked him the face with the keyboard
 

@douchetoesvski

First, your name is a bitch to type. Second, don't sweat it. I was once laid off via email.

After drinking all day everyday for a year, I now have a much better job that pays more.

AV
 

I had to do a double-take on this pic. This hott looks like my step-daughter and the douche, the douche-fag she's dating currently.

I have a mission in my life to get a pic of my kid with the scrotal cheese-fuck she's dating on this site. He is poo x5000. He has all of the douchey earmarks the turds we view and mock on a daily basis display. I have tried valiantly, fellow 'bag hunters to capture the 'bag in pixelated form, but alas, he is a sneaky one. I will triumph, however.

Sorry for the mini-rant, I just was taken aback by the likcnesses of these 2.

@douchetoevski--Glad you're upbeat and that you'll have more time to post your wonderful gems on enlightenment here.
 

Um, that'd be LIKEness. GAWD, I can't type today.
 

whoa, reference to Kant. Did you every study philosophy in school or in your free time? I'm just curious.
 

Wow, bosses that creep up on you? Maybe it's a good thing you were looking at HCWD, otherwise your boss might have had something else in mind (grope, anyone?). I used to post on some forums about men's clothing and lots of people used to whine about how their boss didn't like their tie or some such bullshit; my response was always find a job in which performance matters, not politics or asskissing. They do exist, they're not just urban legends.
 

The only thing worse than him playing the leg guitar on her is her playing the skin flute on him.
 

Leonardo Dicapriodouche
 

Victor and Natasha at the Puschino Science Center prom.
 

My advice to the poster, find the hottest chick in the office, get a pic with him and your boss and send it in. That'll show him, might get you fired but you'll be the office hero
 

Leonardo Dicrapio
 

Tell your boss to stop being fecal chapstick; that's some life advice.

@douchetoevsky - That sucks, but who wants to waste time in a hire/fire firm anyway? Good luck; sounds like a prime shot at a job upgrade for you. Take the HCwDB book to your interviews, just to be sure.

Maybe Goolo's hiring at his Goolag.
 

Don't sweat it guy, your boss just forgot to finish his thought, which was "that's what your home computer is for.....your work computer, with its higher processing speed, should be reserved for streaming porn."
 

If I may suggest a name:

"Leonardouche" because he bears a slight resemblance to DeCaprio.
 

julio wins "Most inovative move" in air guitar competition
 

@douchetoevsky -

Sorry to hear about your job situation, but it appears SD's position may be coming open soon. You know the baghunter within cannot be quelled.....
 

I always read at work, but you have to walk in my office from my front, so there's no chance of me being caught, MWAH HA HA HA HA!

That hottie is giving my lustquakes.
 

@notadouche

Yeah but you still have that 'person enters, immediate mouse click' occurance.

Does anyone make a silent mouse?

This would be a huge money maker.
 

i think we're all forgetting that buffy just told us she is still in college and apparently still remembers her prom. Somehow, that makes my hangover better
 

My boss caught me on the HCwDB and said "Fuck Fish Slap".
 

I got laid off in May, severance for 12 weeks and with uneployment and an extension = many more months off...woot woot...after that, I'll live on Skid Row until DB1 throws me his book as charity

Fecal chapstick, you never sees to amaze me Darksock
 

@douchetoevsky

I've been drawing unemployment for 3 weeks now & it's very liberating... why today I got up ate Cocoa Krispies, wrote a couple Haiku's & took the newspaper back to bed & emerged about noon... it's about time for that 1st whiskey & some afternoon scratching... I plan on a shower & shave by, say Tuesday...

"Come on in, boys, the water is fine!"

...however, sadly, in a couple of weeks y'all may not hear from me for 3 months
 

"I'm just giving career advice" is boss for "I'm going to start interviewing for your replacement."

Donald Trump says what?

FFS!!!
 

I like how douche bigalow thinks.



@ johnny -

You might be right, but notadouche can always put on the thoughtful face to make it seem he's looking over something of work-related importance. And should he get caught briowsing HCwDB he can just tell his boss, "Hey, these are the kinds of choads you definitely don't want to hire. Just some career advice, boss."
 

That should be "browsing" - damn my typos! I'll blame it on the hott.
 

If only I could look at HCwDB at work. The military has all things funny/cool/worthwhile on the internet blocked. Talk about douchosity.

I want to know where this guy lives so I can burn his house down while he sleeps. Maybe it was the rough simulator this morning, but this smirking emofuckhead really makes me wish I could bludgen him to the brink of death with a tack hammer.
 

@Danny Noonan

Amen. We must spread the good word of HCwDB, even while at work. Fish Slap clearly does not rest, neither should we. Today we set the picture of Fish Slap as the background to our Senior Trader's monitors (he has 6 that form a semi-circle around him) who is out on vacation. It's like a visual surround-sound of douche-induced pain.

"So we've got that going for us... which is nice."

or

"Spaulding get your foot off the boat!"
 

@ Johnny Scrotten -

I'd say the tard reference in Guitard Hero is for the win.

@ the rest of you - get back to work you lazy bums!
 

@ johnny

always learn your hot keys.
with a mac you can hide the program you're looking at by pressing command "h" and with a PC just click alt F4 to close the program. That way it just looks like you're typing. I've become a pro at going immediately from command h to seamlessly typing an email.
 

@ Jonezy

Yeah, I'm a girl who's in college, and my prom memories still come to mind from time to time. I'm glad I helped your handover. I'm loving this website already, considering I'm fairly new to the scene, but do not be fooled. I am in the upper ranks of female bag hunters. I feel it is my civic duty to find these asswipes and mock them, then walk away while swaying my oh so hot backside. To all my fellow bag-hunters, be they male or female, I salute you.

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer

"The douche giveth, and the douche taketh away."

PS: What the hell is this prombag's problem. I'm starting to believe that these scumbags have been watching a scrotey version of Field of Dreams.

"If you douche it, hotts will come.."
 

faaaaaaaaantastic.
 

Leave it to db to toss this one out with such casual elan even as he indicates he's ramping down the punishment.

Eddie Munster meets Pee Wee Herman meets... yes: Yao Ming, meets Eddie Munster's sister. It's not just douchebaglionic, it's incestuously scrotalytic.

--VS
 

Clearly, a Canada-Douche occasion:
Airbrushed river rock wall
Showshoe chair back
Gleaming candlelight in the night
Nelson Eddy/Jeanette MacDonald in "Rose Marie" music:
Indian Love Call..."When I'm calling you....ooooo, Will you come too....ooooo;(he makes the oooo form with his right hand); and
Song of the Mounties..."Look out for the Mounties, here come the Mounties....On the trail...we are after you dead or alive...
etc etc etc.
Last line is theme of HCwDB, obviously, from all living(viral) forms of douche to our latest dead douche, Angel.
 

I like his white satin necktie and suspenders and her matching wasitband. They "slide" together.

Fester-DeCaprio: If he's playing the air-guitar, and is a douchebag, then he's an AIRBAG!!!

She's a Gibson Girl guitar, minus the bloomers, high collar, and fetching giggle.

BOINGGGGGGG!!!!
 

@ Buffy - I think you have inadvertently nailed it.

If you douche it, hotts will come. Clearly, from all that we have witnessed, this could not be more true.

It is only partly the fault of the douche. A considerable amount of the responsibility lies at the feet of the hott, for reinforcing the stereodoucnatronic behavior.

The spice must flow.
 

He LITERALLY thinks he's a Player.
 

It's the new Xbox smash 'Get-Whore Hero'.




Um. Sorry.
 

For those of you having hcwdb access problems at work, try it this way: Go to anonymouse.org, type in hcwdb.com, and go to town. The functionality is a bit off. It'll be a bit slow loading, and you may have difficulty posting comments. But you can come and enjoy. I suspect there are tons of other anonymyzer-type programs out there available for the intrepid bag hunger. Anonymouse works well becasue it doesn't require any software installation.
 

@Buffy 5:02: I'm glad you helped Jonzey 'handover' too. Now, how about me?