DB1 got it wrong...

This guy is a totally ABOVE AVERAGE DOUCHEBAG.
 

If this poor girl has to roll her eyes every time this guy does something douchey, she's eventually going to be staring at her frontal cortex.

Speaking of frontal, please remove your underlying tee and come back with just the mesh shirt, please.
 

this guy barely rates as a low level douche. Granted he has the hat, the tat, and the ridiculous tongue ring, but other than that there's nothing that bad. and the hott is cute, but not a mind blowing crawl across broken glass just to have my hands touch the same glass that her grandmother's great dane knocked off the coffee table, hot.
And she clearly doesn't need saved. she is well aware of the douchiness of the douchetard. it's probably her cousin at a family reunion who will go back and tell all his frat bros back at gamma house that he totally nailed the blonde hottie in the picture.
 

Opening your mouth that wide to show off a tongue ring can be the result of only one thing; years of practice fellating his Great Dane’s haunches.
 

I’d still suck the juices out of the blondie's chest like Bunnicula on celery.
 

You know what they say about dudes with pierced tongues. Ummm yeah.

If he were a fagbag, he'd get a pass for the tongue piercing. A dude's gotta make some scratch in the adult arcade I suppose.

But with the yellow hat tilt, stupid shirt, and misguided ink...those indicate douche.

Douches with tongue piercings, you can just predict what they say to Bleeths.

Above Average Fellatio and Analingus. That's nice pal.
 

Head 1058:

yeah, I think blondie would be a good candidate for myfreeimplants.com
 

" OK, anyone who just felt his sister's tit, tilt your hat 90 degrees and stick out your tounge!"
 

I like her. She seems smart.

After this photo was taken, she went back to studying organic chemistry in her sorority house, while he probably posed for 10-15 more photos, each new face looking more douchey than the last. Someday, he'll figure out how to add in the hand gestures.
 

I'm pretty sure only the most desperate (or totally shitfaced) butt pirates would have anything to do with dorkmo-suprema here... he's simply gross! looks like he's been living on a diet of slim jims & red bull with the occasional del taco bean & cheese burrito thrown in.

I just wish someone would hit him in the face with a tennis racket in 48 different languages
 

I wish someone would shit on this guy's face, like they did to Rag's house in Can't Buy Me Love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aET9fwIf0ZI
 

Damn Hardbodies ref!! Nice!
 

@idahohottpotato

I feel certain that "studying organic chemistry in her sorority house" is a euphemism for something, but I'm not sure what.
 

^ yeast spores?
 

She looks like how I feel. What a freakin' dumbass (him).
 

Scotty Palmer sure could dialogue chicks. He knew that the hardbodies were always looking for the BBD.


Choad the Douche Sprocket
 

I would bet that that's his mom and that's his mom's kitchen.
 

Orel, excellent choice in av man!

This poor douche thinks he's mac n' cheese with his hat/wristband combo. Now if blondie would just shove him in the microwave like Billy's mom does in Gremlins, we'll be all good. *POP*
 

He strikes me as a guy trying hard to be a douche and not quite getting it. He's got the stupid had/wristband, 'witty' Tshirt, tribal tats, and the stupid tongue ring, but there's something cornfed about him. Like he's some fratboy from Iowa who, after years in a small town highschool, tries too hard to be one of the 'boys'.
 

Just noticed the tat, a "Pamela Anderson" circa 1996 barbwire armband WITH flames below it...

Did ya' get those at the same time sparky?
 

Hardbodies ref AND he's got his meat hooks on Kathleen Kinmont!
 

@ Mr. White-

Oh, it is. I'm not gonna tell you though, because I'm sure what you have in mind is infinitely more colorful and amusing. I'd hate to spoil your fantasy. ;)
 

Despicable.

Neck bling, pierced nose, Ambercrombie shirt, stupid expression, and orange tan.

and that's her....

He is beyond salvation. He is the devil spawn of Baba Booey and Fred Durst, conceived by Rosanne Barr.
 

All that idiot's yellow hat is missing is a few bold red stripes and a propeller on top.

He looks like a retarded, oversized, 5th grader who got into his marker box and tried to draw a 'cool' tattoo on his arm.

The babysitter wasn't amused.

- Douchey Smurf
 

1. 100 degree hat tilt

2. Douchey shirt that says "Above Average"

3. Stupid ass tribal tatt/tattband

4. Tounge piercing coupled with toungebag expression

5. Gold band worn on Pointer Finger!

Agggghhhhhhhh!!!! What did we do to deserve this cruel and unusual punishment?!!!!

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer

PS: It's also really ticking me off that he isn't matching. Who told him that yellow with dark blue with red was a good idea?
 

DB1, I love you, but remember the "Hot Chicks" part of your website?
 

Better alert Mr Keillor, one of the "children are above average" kids has escaped from Lake Woe-be-gone, MN.
 

And that's no hat, it's a huge pus-head he developed from that nasty tooth-cracking, bacterial-laced, brain-infecting pierced tongue.

An above-average pustule.

With a less-than-average hott.
 

Much to Kimberly's annoyance, Mitch displayed her clitoris he'd bitten off minutes earlier to his frat brothers.
 

Picture taken right as NAA finds out David Spade had just done a pump and dump in his girlfriend moments before he went down on her.

May I sell you a Fuller Brush for that tongue sir?
 

That's it. i'm through with mankind. I'm locking myself in a cave until the doucheplague apocalypse runs its course. Our collective mock has not slowed them down one bit.

croatoan
 

douchosity soars when self congratulatory shirts come into play, especially when coupled with tongue jewelry (on display) and a hat so yellow you have to squint to look at it.

if i'm not mistaken he's wearing bright red pants too. taking fashion tips from traffic lights, way to go douchefase.
 

I see the flaccid chinless eyeroller in the knit sack, but I fail to see the hotchick.

Nice hat. Nice teeth. Nice tat. Nice wristband. Nice tonguepiercing: I hope it goes straight thru your hairy tongue and nails it into your chin, you DOUCHEbag.

--VS
 

I'm guessing Not Above Average rode the short bus to school every day.
 

douchelexic and idahohottpotato pretty much nailed this one for me.

And to anyone who thinks this girl isn't hott, OK - she's not Angelina Jolie, but so fuckin what? Beauty is realtive and what she lacks in "babe-o-liciousness" she makes up for in brains, as she obviously finds this moron as appealing as having to stand next to 75 kg of bullshit.

And at my advanced age (damn people - I'm a fucking PUPPET from the early 1960s!!!) if I were single I'd be flattered if she bothered to slap me for staring at her boobs. I bet she swallows.
 

Amazing that no one noticed that his hat, wristband and tounge ring are all color-matched. Now that takes some effort. And by effort I mean he's a scrotey pile of poo. The not-so-hot is either thinking "Who farted" or "Yeah that's Douchey being Douchey again."
 

Buffy gets bonus points for being the first (and only?) one to point out the überscrote INDEX FINGER RING. This one feature is enough to signify douchiness.

That is totally his older sister, btw.
 

I am about 97% sure I went to Panama with her to study abroad, her name is Adair...I haven't seen her for months...and now this...this is what happens when all you do is hang out with rich punks...douchebaggery
 

Not to be pedantic, but it's Phenomenology of Spirit, not "philosophy"...
 

"Bullfrog said...

Just noticed the tat, a "Pamela Anderson" circa 1996 barbwire armband WITH flames below it...

Did ya' get those at the same time sparky?"

Oh, it's worse than that. The top one is a piece of flash off the wall, a tribal AND barbed wire armband from a company called Cherry Creek, the Cheetos© of tattoo flash,... I have many of those designs in my portfolio,... in the BEFORE section of the cover up book,...

We can see these guys from the parking lot, we usually yell 'Incoming, tribal armband at 3 O'Clock,...'