Am I seeing things or does this douche have the biggest head ever?
 

Why couldn't it be Fish Slap's corpse standing in the corner?
 

I dared not tread on the corner-douche's wake pics, but since DB1 is leading the way to the handbasket, I will happily follow. I saw it on MSN when a co-worker showed it to me, and my first thought was, "I should submit that to DB1" I thought better of it because 1. the guy was dead, and 2. his mom didn't make it as a hott. True story.

Now on to this festering boil on the ass of humanity. The hott is simply yummy!!! Her smile is innoceent yet wry at the same time.

Thanks to DB1 for the Olympi-douche, Olympi-hott, the shirt site (note to self, contact hacker nerd friends to pummel that site), and the video. Nice quartet of wonderfulness to end the week.
 

Yeah, it's also my dying wish to SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF everyone who comes to my wake. Frightening...
 

DB1,

Thanks for rolling that Lolo to your pals (us). We like.
 

Dead Can Douche
 

Lolo Jones is the only person on this planet that would cause me to compulsively translate the Dead Sea Scrolls into Klingon using only a goatskin parchment and an emu feather while krumping to Chopin’s ‘Polonaise in A flat major’ if it meant the slightest chance that, while exiting the caves in Qumran, I’d be run over by a stampeding herd of feral camels being trained to race by her French Uncle Geoffrey for the upcoming Camel Cup in Alice Springs.

And if that made no sense, then I suggest you spend more time reading books while main-lining the Knob to the C.

‘Cuz I’m G like that.
 

The douche pictured on this post still wishes he played guitar in Jane’s Addiction. But Jane don’t miss Sergio.
 

As for his hott, she kinda has the Maya Rudolph thing going on and that’s alright by me.

At least Maya Boner thinks so.
 

The dead douche is fair game. Why? Not ony is he dressed like a douche he was found dead under a damn bridge.

Like any good 'banger douche.
 

fuck the dead.,,fuck fish slap too...but do they have Axe in the afterworld.
 

fuck the dead.,,fuck fish slap too...but do they have Axe in the afterworld.
 

Chill factor 100 on the Puerto Rican kid.

Eat-Sleep-Mack indeed, Mr. T-Shirt Designing Genius. That is the never ending inner voice mantra of the douche pea brain.

Add to that "just drink and fuck bitches" and you've got a mall kioske franchise opportunity waiting to happen.
 

This hott might be the hottest hott on here since hott hottie Holly the other day.

I say the two of them should stage a hott-off by using a brush to baste their bare bodies in Bavarian buttercream body oil and butt up against the bedposts and see who has the best banging body on the block.

All videotaped for posterity, mind you.....


Is it drink-thirty yet?
 

While we're on the subject of Friday Links, here's one of the best sportsmen stories to come down the pike in a long while:

Man uses Barbie fishing rod to make record catch
 

@ massengill...

awesome, just awesome!!!

one of those comments i wish i had thought of.

instead, i am deeply disturbed by the douche in the corner. what kind of d-bag mentality is that?

"i'm so hard i'll be standing after i die!"

yeah buddy, you're "hard" alright;
rigormortis has a way of doing that to ya!


Knob Creek, I'm jumpin in head first!!!
 

@ Vin Douchal

Great story. Must be Friday if the line "since she was big enough to hold a pole" made me giggle.

Time for tomorrow's hangover to begin.
 

Boys, the whistle just blew and I’m off the clock!! Thankfully, I am the boss, so nobody in the office caught me making retarded comments this week.

Mrs. Head has Alaskan Salmon marinating at home and waiting for the grill right now. Yummie!

Excellent commentary by all this week. I have been truly enlightened. And by enlightened, I mean not by psycho Anon 9:33 from the Pussycat post. Hoooly Sheeeiiiiit!

Cheers!
 

ah yes, lolo jones.

also almudena cid, gymnast (Spain)
http://www.coedmagazine.com/photos/album/almudena-cid/image/almudena%20cid.jpg

and romy tarangul, judo (Germany)
http://www.coedmagazine.com/photos/album/naked-olympians-2/image/Romy%20Tarangul.jpg

and leryn franco, javelin (Paraguay)
http://www.bastardly.com/2008-leryn-franco-paraguay-pictures-javelin-throw-olympics-0820
http://www.bastardly.com/2008-leryn-franco-paraguay-javelin-throw-olympic-pics-0821?loomia_si=t0:a3:g4:r2:c0

and maybe some more of alicia sacramone's ass:

http://www.coedmagazine.com/photos/album/alicia-sacramone-ass/image/iChat%20Image(2695037974).jpeg

Olympic hott indeed. At least there's something to look for. I've been avoiding the crap like the plaque.

The olympics are only for women and children.
 

I meant Girliscious post, but you know what I'm talking about.
 

She's a fetchin' hottie in a sunny, colorful dress, petite little noggin. His head is twice her head size, and he rides a black stallion with blinders. Day and night. Double-douche.
 

his head is freakishly large.... & she is a petite package of delish!

as for propped up douche, they've been doing the same thing to Fish Slap (fuck him) for over a year now... someone just changes his dooshy wardrobe & changes his silly hand signs... I think it's Madame Traffualt

well it's nearly 3:30 time to venture outdoors & seek libations... tally-ho!
 

OMIGOD, Ryan Lochte really is a douchebag. Skull necklace? And those double-jointed knees...and he's PROMO-ing himself as a douche, too. True-douchery. The virus is widespread even as we speak. Has DB1 an assault plan on Lochte from henceforth???
 

Angel Medina looks like a ZOMBIE DOUCHE.
I hope they played calypso music and let the fighting cocks roam around unfettered.
 

I sooo wanna be propped up in the corner for my wake. My Irish kin would totally love that. Father OReilly would try to get a shot down my gullet to the great guffaws of my dear Da and Sean, my arsehole brother. I hope to sh!t he doesn't snog me like that PR dudes brother.

But what to wear? My beloved Celtics jersey!

"we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and FIGHT!"
 

Please excuse me, but even if Lochte is a douche, he has a far more interesting body than Phelps, and I'd have his babies. All of them.
 

Does DB1 have a second site we don't know about?

Sorry if I'm behind the times on this, but the title bar there made me wonder.....
 

From that page:



The Best of Bastardly


Yummy Bikini Pictures

2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

2007 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Alessandra Ambrosio

Adriana Lima

Bastardly Lady of the Day

Buttaface Brownbaggers

Hot Chicks with Douche Bags

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Recently Updated Guestbooks!
 

I'd say that Ryan Lochte is barely a stage one douche, from the photos presented. That Olympic chick is not a hott.
 

Lochte is the DOUCHE, Phelps is merely a DOOFUS!! C'mon people!
 

OMG, I actually know Ryan Lochte's girlfriend. If a picture of the two of them shows up on here, I'm going to be torn between the desire to mock and the obligation to tell her it's here... curses!
 

If you rearrange the letters in "Ryan Lochte" they spell d-o-u-c-h-e-b-a-g.

Or so it seems
 

I need to find the uberdouche who thought it was a good idea to make t-shirts with phrases like that. I have such a burning desire to do naughty things to him, and by naughty I mean life threatening. He needs a swift kick to the ass and a hot poker to the eyeball.

As for Ryan Lochte, he is a douchebag. I wathced an interview of him on tv during the olympics, and he was wearing grillz. Grillz!!! They were mighty ugly too. They had more diamonds in them than the entire British royal family's jewel collection.

I can't even bring myself to comment on the deceased douche. I'll leave that to the rest of you.

As for this rocker-douche, he looks like Nikki Sixx's gay nephew. I can't take much more of this. I'm tagging out...

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

I'm torn between shitting myself here at the office and looking at this cloojer snuggled up to tonight's spank session. I think I'll shit myself. Then it's home to cut out his ugliness and put her dazzling perky little body of crayola ecstacy on the Buttroom wall for some one on one time with yours truly. This pic will look so much better with my sexy naked hairy physique photoshopped into my new love's tender grasp. As for the special olympian on the right, his image is going straight into the toilet for some 'plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is'!! See ya in the sewer Mr. Manure!
 

On the Shirt for a Stud site, the guy modeling the "Deal with It" shirt (and also in the red "Stud" shirt) looks like Fish Slap's chunky older brother.
 

On the Shirt for a Stud site, the guy modeling the "Deal with It" shirt (and also in the red "Stud" shirt) looks like Fish Slap's chunky older brother.
 

"Madre de Dios, Angel looks so alive... they even got the hat tilt just right..."

Phelps is at very least flirting with the douche side. I mean, if someone is doing a Nazi salute in a picture you say 'hmm, could be a fascist'. Ergo, choadum ipso scrotae, if someone is doing an Ab Lobster salute in a picture...

-VS
 

oh yeh, and the pic: I think this guy plays bass for the Haiphong Smarmlips.

--VS
 

Nastia Liukin should definitely be the Olympic hott. What she lacks in gratuitous boobage she makes up for in immense flexibility.

I drooled the entire gymnastics final
 

Nice catch on the eHarmony ad.

Every time it comes on I get a little sick to my stomach and must adjust my television set. I'm sure that's why they turned off the comments on youtube.

Thank god it's not filmed in 1080p, but it is HDTV, HotDouche-TV

DJ
 

No, I believe this is the guitarist for 'As I Lay Douching'.

As for hott here I would ride a Dung Beetle's prized fecal ball across the Sahara to fall off a bridge into Angel's mouth to be found weeks later propped up for three days clothed in full ghetto douche garb, just for the chance
that I might feel her cousin Paco kiss Angel on the cheek with the same lips he kissed her with weeks ago.

'cause I'm morbid like that.
 

I have regained consciousness.

At this same time yesterday I was lying in a puddle of my own sick, moving from a catatonic state into several hours of convulsions, followed by a blackout that must have lasted until this evening.

I awoke to find FUCK FISH SLAP scrawled on my driveway in what appears to be ketchup. I have no idea how it got there.

There is also evidence of some kind of bonfire in the backyard.

And my refrigerator is missing.

Thanks, DB1, for a splendid week. And by splendid I mean horrific.
 

First of all, last Will, is missing one of the following in order to secure eternal comfort...

1. A screw top fortified beverage

2. A Colt 45

And the stand up presentation is one of the new 'out of the box" applications for Viagra and embalming fluid.
 

Thanks mom.

As my last wish, I'd like a 46 inch section of barbed rebar shoved up my ass to keep me vertical, and don't forget my Sean Jean, BITCH.
 

The hott of this olympics is Guo Jingjing. Accept no substitutes.
 

a dead douche is the best douche
 

Anon 1:43

His head is ATLEAST twice the size of hers.
 

Not sure if it was mentioned, but did you see the link for Stud Bling on the Stud shirt site...
 

oh, the douchosity!
the myspace of the shirtforastud site owner
http://www.myspace.com/ashirtforastud

the guy even wrote a free ebook of tips for studs..
http://www.ashirtforastud.com/ebook/e-book.pdf

somebody stop him, before he becomes another Dimitri the Lover. please.
 

Douche Becomes Him.

That's the best I got after Massengil's Epic riff.

-DarkSock
 

"Douche Be Not Proud" ????
 

The two-finger spread is to show you how big his asshole is.
 

Give me Long Island Tea, or give me Douche!
 

Hmmmmm, if his head is that big, just think how big his tongue is, and extrapolate to, oh my, this is too sweet to even ponder....
 

Bill & Ted's Bogus Gurney
 

totally wrong on the hott of the games.

while lolo jones has that nice 'girl next door' vibe, she has NOTHING on paraguayan javelin thrower leryn franco. i hear she excels at grasping the javelin (heh). she can sure throw mine anytime (heh)

here is a link with some pictures.

i'm sure google image will provide with more than enough to make your keyboards sticky

http://sports.rightpundits.com/?p=938

- canadouche
 

Night of the Living Douche
 

Yes! Thank you DB1 for mentioning that eHarmony scrote. Whenever I see that commercial I can't help but think "Hey, is it just me or is that guy a heaping pile of douche?".
 

Anne Marie once played a sexbot on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So much for Eharmony not using actors...
 

"To Douche or Not To Douche...."
 

"Douche Day Afternoon"
 

"Douchebag, pass by."

I know he was a douche and all, but did they have to pose him grabbing his crotch?
 

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08202008/news/regionalnews/standing_stiff_ly_125264.htm

STANDING STIFF-LY
DEAD GUY?S LAST REQUEST
By KATE SHEEHY with Post Wire Services

Angel Pantoja shows good posture at his wake.

Posted: 3:52 am
August 20, 2008
He saw himself as a standup guy - even in death.
Angel Pantoja, a 24-year-old sanitation worker in Puerto Rico, told relatives for years that when he died, he "didn't want to be put in a box" for his wake.
"If something happens to me, I want to be seen standing," he said.
The young man, who was found shot to death under a bridge on the island Friday, got his wish for three days over the weekend. He was embalmed upright, and then strapped to a corner wall in his bedroom, according to the El Nuevo Dia newspaper.
His corpse was dressed in a Yankee cap, jeans and a long-sleeve, white shirt under a brown T, and he wore a long, silver chain and cross around his neck. His eyes were covered by Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses.
"He wanted to be happy, standing," said Pantoja's brother, Carlos, who added that they had planned to come to New York at the end of the month in search of a better life.
Pantoja's mother had asked the mortuary to prepare her son's body in the unusual way, the funeral director said.
The funeral home wound up performing "an ordinary process of embalming," the director said.
"Only he had to be secured to the wall with a few straps" to face the crowd, he added.
Pantoja's funeral was far more traditional.
He was laid to rest Monday - horizontally - in a white pearl coffin in a local cemetery, the paper said.
 

Not for nothing, but what NORMAL 24 year old has a last will and testament?

And goddamn if he doesn't have EVERY douchebag trait out there.
 

Thank god someone else recognized the douchebaggery in the eHarmony commercial. I kept wondering if I was missing something.
 

Ah hell, I got all happy when I saw "dead" and "Corey Haim" mentioned in the same sentence, sad to see it was a joke...
 

The world is a sadder place after loosing the Yankee fan known as Corner Corpse!

Actually now that I think of it. This is a great metaphor for the Yankees 2008 season.
 

What happens if, in some awful set of coincidences, that shirt for a stud dude accidentally sells a few more t-shirts thanks to being on this site? Are we prepared to be responsible, however inadvertantly,for spreading the Grieco virus ourselves? Or can that be considered collateral damage, for this guy must surely be mocked.