Looks like Joe let a drunk farmer drive a combine harvester over his head.
 

Yep.

Gag reflex still works fine.

Thanks DB1.
 

Once, while I was backpacking through the Choco region of Columbia, I came upon a small frog that was a very bright hue of yellow, with a few dark spots and kind of cute. As I bent to pick up the leaf on which the frog rested, I heard Vicente, my Latin Sherpa yell in broken English, “No! Stop! Amigo, to touch the poison frog is to feel much pain… one drop kill ten maybe twenty people.” Consequently, I did not pick up that frog. But, The fecal stain still resides in my boxers to this day.

This douche's haircut debacle reminds me of that stain.

To brunette chick here, I echo my good friend Vicente, “to touch the douche is to feel much pain.” Come to me and I will ease your tensions with pudding and Knob Creek.
 

mmmmmm...

.... pudding and knob creek......
 

" I know, I'll shave a bunch of receding hair lines in my head, that way the main redceding hairline looks less obvious"
 

SAT time:

Joe's haircut is to his hairline as Droopy's tattoo is to his beer gut.

discuss.
 

That chick is beaming with hotness and its just a side shot of her...I'm going to go punch a baby now...
 

I think he told his barber, "Make me look like the wheat field in North by Northwest."
 

Professor Douchetoevsky,

Joe's shoulder tattoo is to his masculinity as Samantha Robinson's bling is to her femininity?
 

Joe's Puma shirt is to his arms as Saved by her Bells shirt is to her bosoms?
 

Joe's hott is to my rage as Boat Boy's flag sack is to my disgust.
 

This is the viral moment where the virus is transmitted. And I think he's holding his arm out grabbing the teabag of the cameraperson.

- Ryan Seadouche
 

Puma Joe looks really uncomfortable for a guy with a good looking girl all over him. Someone check this guy for a pulse.

What possesses people to get these stupid tattoos of absolutely NOTHING on their bodies? It's like they forget that that stuff is permanent!

Someone grab the defibulator for Puma Joe...or not.
 

his head looks like the way they used to paint destroyers in WWI and WWII to make it harder to hit with torpedoes...so nice take on a old plan for trying to pin down that hairline, retreating like Lt. Col. William Monson during the Anglo-Maratha war of 1804...am I right? Hello? this thing on?

http://www.gotouring.com/razzledazzle/articles/dazzle8.html
 

Didn't anyone watch the old Fox show "Alien Nation"?

Joe's a newcomer....
 

nothing like midlife crises to bring the best hairstyles and abstract tattoos out of pathetic douches
 

His Tat matches his hair!!
 

@douchetoevsky

I remember how they drank rotten milk and played russian roulette with salt water, but the best was when a human was trying to bang the alien daughter and said, "im gonna shag that slag."

that detective guy was a puss compared to Caan though.
 

Props on a middle-aged guy getting laid and all, but--what exactly do these guys do for a job?

I mean, that haircut does not scream, "Trust me, on this high-commitment purchase which will amortize over the next five years..."
 

New Comer bag has no job that's what attracts the bleeth at most this level of bag is a personal trainer.

What kinda spider is that on her eye lid?
 

The sad thing is, he did that on purpose, and she's still into him.

You know those days when setting a basket full of kittens on fire seems like the only appropriate response?
 

Jeezus h Christ - are you going to kill a kitten today too?

You sick bastard, fuck you.

that douche is such a knob, I think that hott is passed out on his face.

DJ
 

Kissing 15 year olds, tsk tsk.
 

Whoah, man. Nobody's killing kittens. Calm down.
 

E----U
and, by E----U, I mean, just fucking kill me now
Revulsion on the left meets Desire on the right
This has got to be in contention for some prize or other
 

Joe's partially open eyes confirms to him what I already know. He is utterly surprised that his douche-tastic trickery has worked despite everything his mother told him!

"Just be yaself Joey, the girls will come around."
"MAAAAAH! WHEYA'S MY AXK BODY SPRAY, UH?!"

Lord. This train wreck deserves a spot in the monthly just for the wretch response alone.

If she were sent back in time to the dark ages she would prematurely spark the Renaissance due to the pressing need to have talented enough painters to appropriately convey the hottt.
 

"Yo Barber,
Make my head look like bacon, cuz this puma is going cougar hunting tonight! Am i rite? *high five*"
 

@ leonardo...

and sculptors. 'Cause you know douchebags and regular joes alike would come from as far away as Parma and Pisa just to cop a feel of any statue of her.
 

This is the viral moment where the virus is transmitted. And I think he's holding his arm out grabbing the teabag of the cameraperson.

No, it's worse than that. He's taking the picture himself. Yes, it's the next development (pun sort of intended) in photography -- first it was people taking pics of themselves, identified by the telltale outstretched arm.

Puma Joe has taken it to the next step, which is photographing himself kissing a hott. How much of a self-absorbed douchebag do you have to be in order to pull that stunt?

Well, I think we have our answer right here.
 

The wheat field from North By Northwest? Good one.
 

Crop circle douche has once again displayed the fact that if you shave ridiculous crap into your noggin the hott will come. If you give them lots of money they will come.

And, Puma Joe's kissability is directly related to the hotts level of tequilaness.

...and by kissability I mean vomitous inducability...
 

Yeah, I've got tons of pictures I took of myself kissing people, too.

When I was 23.

Plus, I'm a GIRL.

But, no, totally cool for a middle-aged man to do that, too.
 

That does it. There is no god. More at 11.
 

re: douche johnson's comment at 10.27a
"i think that hott is passed out on his face"

I agree. Something's wrong. It looks like they're stuck in their PDA moment.
 

@bagdonovich

thanks for noticing, it's a bit disturbing actually :-)

@ scare-a-douche

good, I like a soft little pussy and by pussy I mean kitten, but I like the way you think

@ rachel

GIRL? really, you think - I'm putting you on the WOMAN side of the GIRL/WOMAN debate. By the way, I mow lawns ;) and tear up carpet or wax hardwood...and by that I mean...ahh fuck it.
 

is anyone else disturbed by the fact this guy is 45 and the chick is 15?

dita von douche
 

Puma Joe road his skateboard as a youth, sans helmet. one day he hit a pebble & went headlong into the street where a tractor trailer promptly ran over his skull, leaving treadmarks. subsequentially, Puma Joe, in his diminished mental capacity, went on to live a life filled with poor judgements, like getting dragon tattoos for instance
 

when you get a bad piece of sushi pass it on ford fairlaine style
 

haha looks like a mid life crisis dad and his daughters friend are kissing......shudder
 

lol...looks like pumajoe is taking this picture himself. as soon as he takes the pic, he runs...he just kisses bitches and runs.
 

He is a real douche like ramses from nacho libre