Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Overtanned douchebags
Stars lead to her "holy" land
Sunglasses: lame bling

# posted by

I believe there is a typo there. Shouldn't the last line read:
Deflated "Buffoon?"
Maybe I just misinterpreted the imagery.

# posted by

Courtney : 7:07 AM

All star-gazers know
Constellation on bleeth's side:
Labia Major.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:07 AM

man-nipple falling
gravity takes hold, heads south
put a shirt on, douche

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:09 AM

Smoking douche points hard.
John C. Reily douche tilts head
Like an orange dog.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:09 AM

Two Neanderthals
Porn star hott shows off her ink
Inverse mohawk too?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:10 AM

Crabs on bleeth are smart.
They've formed a society,
Just launched a space ship.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:10 AM

Marb Lights at the pool
tries to blow smoke rings, but fails
stick to blowing friend

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:11 AM

My Uni-Boner
Writes meat-squirt manifestos
For her starred coochie.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:11 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

George S : 7:11 AM

Hey Johnny Cocksville
I'll bet one hundred dollars
You blow more than smoke

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:12 AM

pole smoker gestures
stomach chandelier glistens
grease spill in vegas

# posted by

George S : 7:12 AM

Man with tiny head
Whispers in John Reily's ear
John likes what he hears

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:13 AM

Fauxhawks galore here
Rare ass "backwards 'hawk" on right
Hottie reveals hers

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:14 AM

Confuscius say, that
man with whoopie cushion chest
should mix in push ups

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:14 AM

Motel 6, poolside.
Couldn't afford Rehab pool.
Second rate douchebags.

# posted by

George S : 7:15 AM

Smoking douche screaming:
"Bra, my leg is on fire!"
Dude, it's syphilis.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:15 AM

The douche exhales smoke;
Yin to her vagina's Yang,
Menstruating stars

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:15 AM

I've noticed a trend lately among Bleethed Hotts who are small-boobed. They know their Waffle House flapjacks aren't going to attract much, if any, attention of they do the classic Skanks Gone Wild tit-flash. So what's a sista to do? In order to position themselves for maximum photogenicity they make sure their tramp stamp is visible and seductively lower one side of their bikini bottoms. Meanwhile, her date, Sitting Choad, looks like he just got a mouthful of jism from his buddy Troll Hair.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:16 AM

Old enough to smoke.
A balloon suddenly pops..
Strawberry drinks all round.

# posted by

teh abominable snowdouche : 7:16 AM

Nip rings pop man-boobs.
"Flock of Seagulls" fauxhawk sucks.
Where are the red cups?

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:17 AM

If you snack on cooch,
You'll hallucinate some stars.
VD eats your brain.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:17 AM

That's no backwards 'hawk;
He just pulled his head out of
Droop McNip's ass crack.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:17 AM

"Take a drag from THIS
Star-tatted bleeths will be yours
Join us, you losers!"

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:18 AM

Bleeth wears a shoe string
Instead of a bikini:
Bottoms just dissolve.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:19 AM

Tree-mounted camera
records hastening collapse
of decadent West.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:19 AM

Follow the star trail
to a heaping helping of
Oozing gonorrhea

# posted by

mola ram : 7:20 AM

Hott, get off that lap
You made Cro magnon jealous
He wants his turn now

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:20 AM

Star-trail tat means Bleeth.
Smoke-douche makes lip shape to sheathe
Elf-choad's pencil dick.

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:20 AM

Look in the background;
Anti-aircraft umbrella
manned by their Momma.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:20 AM

They need to be dropped
Onto that sharp-edged wedge roof
Taint-first from great heights.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:22 AM

Robert Downey Bag
Blows smoke angrily at hott
He's no "Iron Man"

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:22 AM

Gaz Coombs look-alike...
Super-douche smokes Supergrass.
Star-tat hott says, "Yayyyyyyyyy."

# posted by

boatbutter : 7:22 AM

flappy nipple man
or, should i say Tiki Face
you frighten me, dude

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:22 AM

Spongebob Squarehead glares
"Why is hott ignoring me?"
Let me count the ways...

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:25 AM

"The Punctured Balloon";
"Under the Spreading Chestnut";
He's been here before....

www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/05/punctured-balloon.html

www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/08/under-spreading-chestnut-tree.html

H.O.S.???

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:25 AM

Joe Francis called
He'll pay lots to albino
to put on a shirt

# posted by

mola ram : 7:26 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:26 AM

Deliverance, the
Douche version. Where bleeth is caught,
By leathery ‘bags.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:26 AM

2 Guys, A Girl and
A Pizza shop - comedy.
But this aint funny.

Telltale star tattoos
have sadly transferred to hott.
Bleethdom is complete.

Wither the Douchebag?
Preparation H is now
attacking muscle.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:27 AM

Wild horses can’t
Drag this bleeth away from here
So Mick Jagger weeps.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:27 AM

Smoke up in his lungs,
Preperation H on chest,
snail trail on his leg.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:27 AM

"Don't be a hater!
The douchebag army wants YOU!
Enlist, you maggots!"

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:28 AM

He Just Bangs Bitches
Ain’t got nothing on these chodes
Oh wait, yes he does.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:28 AM

look VERY closely
above squinty's left shoulder
mailman takes day off

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:29 AM

As the shirt comes off
His nipples are mortified;
Stare at ground in shame.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:29 AM

Look! It’s Charlie’s Sheen
Upon blonde douchebag's forehead
Brunette’s body, meh.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:29 AM

Smoking and douching
While molesting bleeth gets you
Ten years minimum.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:31 AM

make a wish upon
five falling star tatts
no trend in puff point

# posted by

let it bleeth : 7:31 AM

Smoking Douche says he's
Not heterosexual
Tell us something new.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:32 AM

last day in vegas,
fly back to des moines sunday,
I've got mail to sort.

# posted by

George S : 7:32 AM

her open mouth smile
tells me she likes it nasty
shocking, isn't it?

# posted by

johnny scrotten : 7:32 AM

Fingers up his ass
Blonde asks smoke for another
Colonoscopy.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:33 AM

Dude take a picture
Can you see my cigarette?
I'll flex my traps, too

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:33 AM

Nipple Ring Chafing,
Swimming would fuck up my hair,
This party sucks dick.

Vladi Douchevac

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:35 AM

"You're lame, momma's boy!
Now drop and give me twenty!
You're worthless and weak!"

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:36 AM

Bleeth hairline moves up
Douche smoke from friends unit
Somewhere angels cry

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:36 AM

Bleeth’s boobies would make
Great omelets for Lord Xenu
Wants ham with this cheese.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:40 AM

Starway to heaven?
Or douchebags have infected
opportunity?

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:41 AM

Recruiting poster
For douchebag military
D.B. bill approved

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:41 AM

I'm so fucking cool;
This is so the place to be.
Is that roosterwank?

Grady Wilson

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:42 AM

These bags are chained up
So bleeth says ‘bags make great pets
Yes, they make great pets.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:42 AM

A dream for us all
Look up all of you douche bags
Bombs fall from the sky

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:42 AM

Hark! Pay It Forward!
They found a body double
for Kevin Spacey.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:44 AM

Done blowing limp tits
blows smoke and points
your next in line.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:45 AM

Can hair be so gay?
Molest hott and drink Kool-Aid.
No lifeguard needed.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:46 AM

LOL. LO
L. LOL. LOL.
they are all clueless.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:47 AM

Sgt. Smokeblower
And Corporal Droopynips
Conquer nasty bleeth

# posted by

Lone Scrote McQuade : 7:48 AM

Just blew the guy behind me
Little sister grinding my leg
Is that my camera?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:50 AM

Join the douchebag club!
4 guys : 1 girl ratio.
I don't like those odds

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 7:51 AM

she takes a swing man
she can't hit! she just don't know.
done with Sergio.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:55 AM

Douchebags in lawsuit
Peaches Point Patent Pending
Don't FUCK with Peaches

# posted by

Tag'em and Bag'em : 7:55 AM

Look at scrotery
The Palms in Vegas loves Douche
that whore is not cheap

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:56 AM

Burn victim on left,
was stunt man for Brad Pitt ouch!
bleeth reaches for stars.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:58 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

George S : 7:59 AM

@ Pfah

Haha Jane's Addiction reference. ;)

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 8:01 AM

Pfah, Perry Farrell
On our minds today, what gives?
Oh well, he does rock.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:08 AM

I haven't seen anything on here lately that really pissed me off... until now. What a bunch of worthless, ignorant looking tools... guys and bitch as well. There isn't enough gasoline and matches for this crew.

- Douchey Smurf

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:09 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

highonfumes : 8:09 AM

Porno for Pyros
Or Juanes Addicion?
Turning up Ipod.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:11 AM

I'm in luv wit a Stripper......

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 8:11 AM

troll headed douche has
titts like yams danglin'
hulk wants his shorts back

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:12 AM

hey there crucial head!
Jane's Addiction on iPod
cranked here in office.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:16 AM

Smokey Choad oiled up
Side boob is a tiny delight
Glasses hang from bling?

Tattbag grows from neck
Ring nip and friend are class acts
If you are star bleeth

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:16 AM

f*ck! here's the corrected version!

troll headed douche has
titties like yams a danglin'
hulk wants his shorts back

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:16 AM

Flabby bags with whore
Five-star bleeth is overpriced
Must wear two condoms

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:25 AM

Douchebags got that orange skin
Douchebags one and all
Nothing Shocking

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 8:38 AM

Two High School Wrestlers,
The Greico Roman Virus
Junior Varsity

Coach Jules Winnfield

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:41 AM

Douchebag blowing smoky "WHOA"
With Bleethed-out mini-tit hot, shooting starred
Uberdouchescrote dork, faux-hawk sported!!

# posted by

Joey Buttadoucheo : 8:48 AM

Why do I always
Forget to haiku in time?
Need new alarm clock

# posted by

Sinfonian : 8:53 AM

Pierced nipples, tanned guts
hawks and gestures abound
Arizona pool

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:55 AM

Are you kidding me?
Multiple star-tattooed bleeth?
Somewhere, Bra sports wood.

# posted by

Sinfonian : 8:55 AM

Star pattern directs
me to the Bleeth's clit and knot
cottage cheese discharge

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:56 AM

At least at Rehab
the Bleeths will show their big tits
covered in jizz soup

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:58 AM

Hott seduces us
Douche blows smoke like Rush Limbuagh
Weird friend prepares lube.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:00 AM

Hott looks like a skank
Douche uses Preparation H
Abs glisten in sun

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:02 AM

Have a toke on this
and join the Douche Brotherhood.
Hott free with voucher.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 9:04 AM

2 minutes later,
with his mouth in the same shape,
fellated his pal.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:05 AM

hey you big shithead,
you're not as cool as you think.
go clean the pool now.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:06 AM

i want 100.
i didn't make the home page.
at least give me that.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:07 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:07 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:08 AM

Are you sure they're stars?
Or huge scurrying pube crabs
Fleeing an egg fart?

# posted by

DarkSock : 9:08 AM

Brave; Fauxhawk Nation
Carries lock of Bleeth Betrothed
Horn around neck.

# posted by

Zen Wizard : 9:08 AM

High chair waste
no need
Sunglass and cup holder cheap

-Douche Racer

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:11 AM

Hey photographer!
Do not pretend to know the
ways of the douchebag!

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 9:11 AM

100 dollars
says she has the same tattoo
on the other side.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:11 AM

Rehab closed Monday
and Tuesday to disinfect
from Sunday pool party

It's a fact.

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 9:13 AM

Lo! lesser mortals!
Fear my 5 o'clock shadow!
Same as Fred Flintstones.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 9:16 AM

some Alpaca balls
stuffed into his smoky hole
would be quite fitting.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:20 AM

Johnny Knoxdouche exhales
Ugly nipples pierce the sky
Terrible twosome

# posted by

notadouche : 9:38 AM

Douchebag Freemasons
are recruiting now. Collar
popped if wearing shirt.

# posted by

Rage and Lust in the times of Holbrooks : 9:43 AM

Douchetovsky is keen
Locals know the embryos
remain Monday morn

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:46 AM

That might be the biggest bleeth on this site

# posted by

Ross : 9:54 AM

That might be the biggest bleeth on this site

# posted by

Ross : 9:54 AM

Her Dreams Deflated,
Poolside,All The Worlds A Stage.
She Misses Her Pole.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:02 AM

Cigarettes are bad,
Douchebag needs to put it out,
Why not in his eye?

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:02 AM

Bleeth's boobs make me think,
"It must be time for breakfast."
Pancakes, anyone?

-International House Of Douchebags

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:08 AM

Bleeth holds her thong string
and her drink and blue lighter
lifeguard looks away

# posted by

JackFlash : 10:15 AM

New Constellation
Same Old Bleethed Universe
Can You Smell Snail Trail

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:22 AM

Valtrex Pool Party
Double Dose For Yasmine Please
No Meat On Friday

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:25 AM

What Do We Fight For
We Spread Freedom And Disease
Some Get Third Degree Burn

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:28 AM

Sour fart In Head
No faux er go
Bleeth Whore Clam Dip

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:43 AM

ah, so this is what it looks like when johnny knoxville spits out semen underwater.

im sorry i couldnt fit that into a haiku.

blonde burn victim bag
johnny knoxville sure can blow
unfortunate tat

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:45 AM

Just like 'Walk Of Fame'
The star trail seems glamorous
But watch out for poo.

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 10:57 AM

menthol blowing douche
you aint no Johnny Knoxville
yet are a jackass

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:48 AM

I need Fridays off
Can I work four 10-hour shifts?
I'm always so late.....

.....and miss these haiku!
She has a Bra!!nstellation
on her left hipbone.

# posted by

Wheezer : 12:28 PM

Greico'd douchebaguette
bikini strap descending
wind rustles faux-hawks

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:05 PM

Just so's yaknow, REAL haiku always includes the 'kigo,' or seasonal allusion. hence
"Crabs on bleeth are smart.
They've formed a society,
Just launched a space ship"

becomes
"Crabs on bleeth are smart.
They've formed a society,
Reproduce each Spring."

sumpin like that

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:21 PM

Puffy-nippled scrote
Pumps up for ever-bored Bleeth:
A One-Flake snowstorm.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:28 PM

Hawaiian Tropic
Mixes with Axe and Grey Goose
I think I might hurl

-haberdouchery

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:00 PM

Head tilts and cigarette points
Just mixin syrup with sunglass bling
As stars chase bleeth poonanie

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:00 PM

Re: Tom Choad's "kigo":
As we all know well, hotts are
Always seasonal:

Summer 'kini hotts
Wintertime snowbunny hotts
And fall color hotts.

Springtime horny hotts
Complete the seasonal look
At the joy of hotts.

# posted by

Wheezer : 3:11 PM

WTF happened?
my haiku makes the front page,
lists "anonymous"?

[see 7:15am]

# posted by

George S : 3:35 PM

Faux-hawked burn victim?
Should he not hide all that scar
tissue? Burns MY eyes...

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:12 PM

He smokes, but I think
As I look right he caused a
Double mastectomy?

(Sorry, I dont think she's all that hot.)

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:44 PM

Cancer takes too long :(
His boyfriend looks like Scotty:
"Your semen tastes good!"

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:30 PM

Chowder bleeth wants boink'n
Guidobag's belly button blows stars
One branch on family tree

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:19 PM

chlorine runs and hides
not bacteriostatic
to Bleeth infection

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:26 AM

Peirced droopy nipples
On Down syndrome scrote on left
While whore sits on scrote

-LS

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:25 AM

Five stars
fell from grace
Douche impaled

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:25 AM

Johnny Knoxville Bag
Smoking kills
Not soon enough.

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 10:57 PM

is she wearing any
clothing on her bottom half, oh
my god, what a skank

# posted by

None : 8:42 PM

"You look sexy, Dirk"
'I'm blowing fire out my ass..'
"Can I piss it out?"

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:35 AM

half of "chestnut trees"
you blonde nipple-ringed disgrace
run but you can't hide

-haberdouchery

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:55 AM

I LOVE THIS SITE!!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:45 PM

Friday, July 25, 2008

Friday Haiku

Hot Chicks with Douchebags Google Search:

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