The big evil hay cat is going to eat everyone's brains, leaving nothing but a congealed pool of Red Bull and Axe grease. For years stories will circulate, but eventually no one will believe that Farmboy Mike was even there, many will say he never existed at all.
 

You have to be f*cking kidding me ... Fresh off of holding up a stage coach, Billy the Douche? How's the train robbery racket these days?

He needs a 16 ton weight dropped on his head. While we're at it, let's see if we can't hit hoverdouche behind him making that handsignal with one of the pointy edges.

Girls are cute, but I can already see the Grieco virus altering their DNA now. Soon there will be no coming back, you have taken the dark path: Axe leads to faux hawks, faux hawks lead to douchebaggery, douchebaggery leads to suffering. Much much suffering.
 

I call musical douche, and a really horrid one at that.

I wanna see the hotts' evil cat faces, preferably in a hotel bathtub, slathered with butter, while I warble Icelandic viking ballads, high on amyl nitrate and maountian dew.

gooooood times.
 

This douche is the "cool guy in the frat". You know, the frat guy who puts on a facade of not being all frattish?

And smaller ta-ta's can be nice sometimes, too.
 

Is this the try outs for the douche musical "Srotelahoma"?
 

what is Crucial Head's scrotum doing in the upper left-hand corner of this picture???? and, more importantly, why is it in a restraining device?
 

Cute brunette, pig-nosed blondie...what up?

Apparently Indiana's in the house. Go back to your regular attire son. You're not fooling anyone....meaning no one thinks you're a Jersey, Arizona, SoCal, or Vegas douche.
 

D'oh...Scrotelahoma! Good one..

I was gonna say:

"Visit French Lick, Indiana--See the World's Largest Ball of Asbestos!"
 

Nice of Goober to "Wronghorn Reprazent" in the background...or, he coulda just stayed out of the picture...that would have been good, too...
 

They are all rural puppets of the demon brunette in the background. Her evile-hottness sends shivers up and down my ...spine.
 

Wearing a bandana around the neck in this fashion used to be a sign that homeless squatter scrotes would use to identify each other. However, deep in the heart of Iowa, amidst beer and Red Bull, the where's douche shows up.

Behind the mom/daughter lovlies, and the 'He who stuck his man parts in a light socket just a minute ago'. Hidden is the open shirted popped collar 'Hook em horns' opportunist that makes me want to shove that regurgitated hairball down his throat 'till his lungs explode.
 

Not the hottest hotts we've seen, but they both look go'ers. Something tells me those two would do just fine with the ole double header between them instead of the farm-bag.
 

Oh to be 18 again. What I would do with these fine young ladies. After getting rid of the 2 ridiculous choadwanks, I suspect these 2 would be making out with each other shortly after.
 

Pfah,

I 'dropped' by to deliver my horse chestnuts to the brunette’s chin, Buster Gonad style. Thank you for asking.
 

I would floss with the gut flora of a naked mole if it meant while being treated for the ensuing diarrhea, I would contract HIV through the tainted intravenous needle that was fabricated at the brunette hott's father’s custom tubing plant.

Hell, if Magic can beat HIV, me and my giant testicles can too.
 

I had assumed that it was just another sacrificial teabagging to the glory of Xenu.

That's a big ol' custard bag, Crucial. I am impressed.

His tee-shirt looks like the cover of a Buttalica album.
 

It appears as though all the hots got the memo to wear "your cutest LBD". Nice call on that.

As for Sir Lance A Boil? Flav called, we wants his Grandfather clock back you're wearing on your wrist.

I'll give him a pass though because he looks like he just ride in with the Chodeo.

What's in the bag you sweet little flaxen haired Minkey.......gggrrrrr.

The straw cat is creepy too.
 

What a Douche...BAAA...BAAA...BAAAG!
 

what the fuck... Nice fuckin cross - does he think he's in the Crusades?

"I douche-out FOR THE LORD!!!!!"
 

Keefer Sutherland, hammered, and on the set of his new movie, "Indiana Jones and The Huge Lintball From His Anus"
 

The giant hay-ball reminds me of the netting that is installed in cattle cars so the cows don't foul their food and it's easier to clean in the car. And it makes the Farmboy Mike moniker so much more appropriate.

Ah, my farm-fresh farmer's daughters. Be wary of exploring Mike's Green Acres down south. That green ain't grass, it's mold growing in the seams of his tighty whities.
 

Farmer's daughter on the left looks like her daddy mighta made it with a sow.

Nice snout, tootse.
 

The ball of hay is an homage to Darwin, Minnesota, home of the largest ball of twine (oh, and the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz (which we all know is a metaphor for a gay bag sucking a wad of jiz from his lover's starfish.)

Which leads me to believe that Farmboy Mike longs for the freedom that San Francisco queers so quixotically take for granted; to be free from the darkness of a closet, and to never again live in fear of a homophobic world where...coincidentally, Farmboy Mike calls home.

And I would gladly trade places with Mike; he can have queer central, and I'll gladly take his place and nurse the pert breasts of Kimmy and Shelly.
 

This picture is a twin killing. Not only do you have Farmboy Mike with his sweaty paws around the lucious hotts, but then you have his BRA!! in the background telling us to "rock on." Well you know what? I'm not going to rock on. Farmboy Mike has a fat head and his neck bandana needs to be tightened thus to strangle him.

I agree with douchetoevsky. Musical douche all the way.
 

I dunno... Farmboy is a stage one douche at best. (Er, "worst.")

I'd much rather punch Lurker 'Bag with Hand Gesture #427 and right in his Smug Face #39.

The hotts are solid, though.
 

Only one man could rock the neckerchief. Bill Murray in Meatballs. Farmboy Mike is no Bill Murray. This looks like the worst party ever.

That giant ball of hay, who the fuck knows what that is. It's probably got some sort of plant in it. Hopefully it's the plant from Little Shop of Horrors and it's feeding time.

Those girls are way too cute to be hugging this tubby fuck.
 

We're Scrotes of the Round Table,
We Axe when e're we're able
We bullshit bleeths 'til they believe
Our doucheyness ain't fatal

Our Red Bull is in Cans-a-lot
and we take it up the ass-a-lot.

We're Scrotes of the Round Table,
Our hair gel is flam-ay-ble
Our douchey moves on hottie boobs
you'll see on access cable.

It's a full time job to scam a lot
of the hotts we want to jam a lot.
 

Oh and lower left hand corner hott - while you're down there, love....
 

Toadchoad & LBD'ed minxes, Waldouche and Sir Mystereo's (or The Amazing Kreskin's) sister in the background. Fashion sense on the bag? A flattened aluminium pie dish on one wrist and what looks like a 6 year old girls bracelet on the other. Don't worry about the bandana covering up the Jesus bling, the shirt tells us he's still 'gabbing with God'.

There are so many levels of wrong here I'm sure the camera jumped from the photographers clutches soon thereafter in a spectacular display of harakiri.

"Awww, shucks now! That hasn't happened since the last party."

This makes for one extraordinary photo, and by extraordinary, I mean my right eye just prolapsed in it's socket.
 

Obviously first time away from home. I am guessing the suspended hay bale is the Iowa version of a disco ball.

Buckaroo
 

If someone doesn't punch him in the face, God will.
 

Gene Wilder's a Douche? That sucks man.
 

I think the evil hay ball is some sort of hanging basket (pink flowers over broseph's head), but it's still douchey none the less.
 

DB1 writes "...Farmboy Mike wants to display a giant Cross like Emperor Constantine right before massacring a bunch of Franks in Gaul in 306 A.D.".

Something tells me this dude is a master at dealing with franks. And beans.
 

@snoop douchey bag: awesome.

Definitely a Church Singles group bag.
 

Well... he seems to be an allright borderline excentric guy... and he seems to be real lucky with the ladies! Barely legal girls with stimulant drinks!!! Wish I was there with my wheelchair!
 

Where do you find this stuff? LOL

Do you have artificial eyes? At this point steel wool and kerosene can't get the images I've seen here out of my head...
 

what the fuck, is this guy a "Douche For Christ" or something?
 

Lance Bass really let himself go....but he still has to die.