aaarrrggghhh! two pube shots in a row!
 

ubiquitous red nalgene bottle.
 

Dibs on striped shirt.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
 

Ian Astbury from The Cult,



Are your Fire Women to blame for the douched out attire?

I would not give you Sanctuary.
 

those earwigs terrified me as a kid.
 

"This eees....Ceti Alpha 5."

Yeah, I went there. Even deeper into ST II quotes. Try and stop me. I'm doin' it for Chekov, man. Poor bastard didn't deserve to get earwig'd.
 

My dad once told me that if I ever found a woman I’d be willing do anything for, then I should never let her go. He also told me to take that woman and wail on her derrière like a woodpecker on Eucalyptus.

But I never thought I’d find that woman. Naturally, in my mind, “willing to do anything” meant slaughtering all the remaining Lesser One Horned Rhinoceros in Southeast Asia using my prized Mike Ness guitar pick then delivering their carcasses on rough hewn Sumatran Pine to the Commander in Chief of the Indonesian Military while draped in the flag of the Free Aceh Movement and simultaneously reciting The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock backwards in Yiddish.

Rhino’s, you are warned. The blonde on the left may be THAT woman.
 

Phillip and his band "Rise and Die and Get Buried and Rise Once Again" (pronounce that 'again' like a Brit... "agaien") are gonna make it "hella" huge. I mean those guys mean business. Last week they took all of their Summer lawn mowing money, pooled it together and went to the mall. Hot Topic™ had a few scarves left so they nabbed those... they hit the Bahama Sunglasses® kiosk and got some cool shades. Johnathan stole his sister's nail polish and it was on! They said next week they are going to get real tight at Rock Band™ and then in a few months they are going to pull straws to see who gets to be the front man. Eventually instruments will come into the picture.

- Douchey Smurf
 

A he is a worthy Weekly finalist in my pure, unadulterated mind.
 

Don't even compare this kid to Ian Astbury sonny boy.

You know not of what you speak if the depths of your Cult knowledge only dips into the realms of top 40 classic rock territory.

- D.S.
 

Mr. Sulu, take us out, warp factor douche.
 

Hey Earwig-

Didja really think Kimmy's mom wanted to see your treasure trail & pubes?

You suck and so does your 'band'.
 

I'm more into his gig with the Doors personally... wayyyy better than Jim Morrison.

Heh heh heh.
 

BTW

Ian Astbury? no..

More like an extra-douchey Adam Ant...
 

His water bottle looks like what we use to provide our pet rabbits with water.

Why do douche stomachs always look like the back of a tortoise shell?
 

Extraordinary. And not in a good way.

Hetero? - not likely

Costume? - sadly, i think not

Sobriety? - given up for good in '92

P. Yootrid
 

WTF

is this a bag tag?

Molly on the right looks like she was on the hunt for some douche-meat.

I like Sasha and her red stripes.

The guy looks a bit sick, but if he is happy with his look - more power too him. Looks like someone drug him out of the 1980's punk club...

Caption the pic?

"Weekend at Barfies"

DJ
 

musical interlude:

so smack down the douchebag
and do us all a favour
that choad's band got no taste
so try another flavour -
douchemusic
 

Is that a mother/daughter hook-up combo?

Sweet!!
 

Weekly finalist?

Good God, man, this is Scrote of the Year material.
 

umm..... does this douche have a belly button? I've seen a lot of db's on this site, and if memory serves me, they usually at least have one. what gives??
 

I heard Good Charlotte has an opening for a seriously hardcore punker for their upcoming tour.

I'm assuming 'harcore' may have something to do with sodomy.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

@douchetoevsky:
You took the words right off my keyboard. However, he does throw down with a little Freddie Mercury mixed in there with the Ant. Why else is the black dude in the t-shirt scratching his nutsack.

Nothing says "hardcore" like a Jolly Roger scarf.
 

They met when Stuart elbowed her aside at Urban Outfitters to grab the last of the bracelets from the display rack. His display of raw pseudo-punk aggression, and the retro CHIPS shades, really turned her on. He has a thing for candy stripers who humor him by calling him Spike. A match made in choad heaven.
 

I would love to tackle that scrote and hold him down and invite all around to give him a major "pink belly".
 

Oh, boy that skull shirt is SCARY!!!

Ergo, he MUST be a badass.
 

I killed 2 earwigs this morning near my backdoor. The bug guy came yesterday, and they always freak out right after that. This guy blows.
 

Front of the queue for the monthly.
 

Oh dear god ... What the hell did we do to deserve this?

Did he shave that fungus stripe thing into his chin on purpose, or does he have two (count 'em) ass clefts there naturally? His f*cking fingernails are alternately colored to match his oh-so-cool Jolly Rogers black and white motif. WTF? I want to know where this photo was shot, because I'm hopping on a bus to shoot this asshole with a paint gun repeatedly in the face. There is absolutely no excuse for this.

Girl on the left would look hot if she scraped that pancake makeup off her face. Seriously - even Marie Antoinette would say she's laid it on too thick. There's absolutely nothing worse than kissing a girl and actually tasting the makeup base (holy shit - did I just channel HJBBAD there?).

Shit. I'm finding a bar.
 

Another pot-bellied pig pretending to be bad-ass.

Right hott is yummy in that Jennifer Aniston-before-she-got-all-bony kind of way.

By which I mean she can have her way with my bony anytime.
 

Nice outfit you stupid billy goat(only a douche would work on an outfit before heading out to make an ass of himself). Mom and Dad are at home hanging themselves right now.

Since when did having a billy goats udder for a stomach become....become...shit.. I'm at a total loss with this one.

Ding ding ding...we have a contender for DB of the Year.
 

I've heard of a washboard stomach, but never seen someone swallow an ironing board to achieve the same effect.

Gak. I think this guy crawled out of Adam Ant's filthy, East Liverpool toilet.

The broad on the right looks like she's been ridden hard and put away wet, while the candy-striped hott is decent enough for Joey.
 

@ crucial head 2:20

Outstanding.
 

What in the world?? This guy is the biggest tool I've ever seen. He's got those stupid bracelets on BOTH arms, he's got a mandana around his neck for some reason, stupid hair, ridiculous aviators, he's wearing a gay vest, and lastly what the hell is that around his neck? It looks like the honorary police badge he got as a young boy.

Also, shaving your facial hair so it looks like you have a vagina on your face isn't cool. It's sad and pathetic, much like the two hotts who are stupid enough to hang out with this d-bag.
 

Criss Angel would be proud of this douche.
 

WTF DB1 ... the earwig is my main garden nemesis!! lmfao
 

It's Adam Ant!
 

I hate this guy as much as I could ever possibly hate a person based solely on a digital image. And pink stripe blonde looks like she has all sorts of mischief on the mind. God, I hate this guy!

Earwig FTW. He's takes July like Hammurabi took Mesopotamia.
 

Oooh I'm lovin the scarf hahaha. And I'm loving the belly hair too, because you know, that's just sexy, when it's exposed
 

The picture shows a happy trail. I am anything but happy after viewing this picture.
 

is that an Ompa Prompa in the backround??

ha, i'm beginning to think there is an underground scrote society...
 

I hate planet Earth. Just look at this picture.

I'm a sort of nice guy; I think I am moderately intelligent; I have a steady job; I'm better-educated than a lot of college graduates I know; I'm not obese, and I have mastered the art of taking a fucking bath every now and then.

You know what women usually say to me? They say: "....(pause).... You're really weird."

I have saved up $53,900 and change. Tomorrow morning, I am going to buy an industrial tree shredder, and with whatever funds remain, I am going to hire some desperate junkies to help me kidnap as many of these worthless fratboy "douchebags" as possible. They will be slowly inserted, fully conscious, into the tree shredder. It will be filmed, and it will be posted to the series of tubes.

Be sure to Digg / Stumble / Fark / etc it.
 

First off, Crucial Head, your Mike Ness comment at 2:20 was pure gold friend. Anybody down with Social D is OK with me, especially if it somehow involves rhinos.

Now as for our friend here, I get more of a Corey Hart mixed with Taco of Puttin on the Ritz fame vibe. There is absolutely no excuse for looking like this, EVER. The girls are bordering on decent, but my guess is the girl on the left is a groupie, and the girl on the right is his aunt.

I would also like to note: look at the ear-bling on the dude on the far right. Between that and the headband, he might be my new favorite lurker of all time.
 

STAR WARS > STAR TREK


any day of the week, any time, any place.

and if you disagree, you are no friend of mine.

it's that simple.


i'll go have a shower now. there's a very good chance that i am drunk.
 

please tell me this man is gay. there is no other reason a grown man should wear a scarf and dangly earrings and cheekbone definer. no i take that back - nothing can explain his poor choice of style. look at the 50lbs of metal on his wrist. no wonder his hand dangles - no blood is getting to it. that, plus, he is gay. not that there is anything wrong with that...

unfortunately he looks like he got a real purdy face but half of it is covered by 2 vinyl records... no, i take that back - those are SUNGLASSES
 

Stripey Bleeth: Be my pig widdle daffy - I'm your princess and in nine months, your baby mama.

LBD girl: I'm so beat. Sure - let's take a picture. After this I gotta pee and go home and crash. This douche is creepin' me out...

The Earwig: So, I'm like too fuckin cool. Stripey blonde digs my noodles. If I can get them both into a three way, that would fuckin' rawk. I think it's great to be this fucked up. I think I gotta puke...
 

you know what? i give up.

i get you're going for the whole "rockstar™" thing. i get that you gotta draw in the crowds with the style and the look. i even get the bonus hookups with the ladies.

really.


truly.

but see, you're not bringing anything new to the table.

now sure, you could say that i'm jaded. fair point.

but see, ever since Sigue Sigue Sputnik i'm not impressed.

whatever their musical accomplishments notwithstanding, they certainly had a "look".

so you see, ya gotta bring a few more chips to the table, if you take my meaning.





plus, if you're gonna wax, spring for the extra $25 and finish the job.



i don't know, maybe it's just the Maker's talking.
 

Stripes, I love you.

Earwig, I kill you.

Tube-top of Justice, I go home with you after Stripes shoots me down.

And all is as it should be...
 

I'm not going to be baited into a Star Wars vs. Star Trek battle. Most days I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons as it is.
 

His fingernails are like an Othello board.
 

And thank you, blond chubby hott, for blocking the M.Jackson move in the back.
 

Jesus H. Christ. I got nothing. Monthly, yearly, HoS, this fucktard has overloaded my synapses.
 

hey, can we blame that douche 'mystery' for any of this?
 

steve zodiac: so cool to see another fan of GZR!
 

Could this be HCwDB Legend "He Just Bang Bitches and Drinks" ? Because I think that he kinda look like him.
 

In a vain attempt from beyond the grave to show he was not Gay http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/entertainers/charles-nelson-reilly/ mugs two , well 1&1/2 club hotts
 

Pfah, don't make me start pelting you with 20-sided dice. Star Trek rulz, Star Wars droolz. Only a tool would argue about that.

Wait, what? "Irony"? I don't even know what you're talking about.
 

Is this how late 80's hard rock band front men have to dress these days to get attention?
 

This is unbelieveable - stupid ring bling (both hands), stupid wrist bling (both wrists), mandana around the neck to accentuate the stupid necklace, pants down to pube level, layered vest like thing that appears to be too short even with pants up to a normal height, douche hair, douche facial har, douche glasses, my god are those hanging earrings too?

This guy outta go straight to the monthly, and gets my nod for a HoS consideration right now. He's got naughty hott on his right, and the fed-up friend who would likely jump on the next normal guy to come along on his left, both with BOOBIES!

I don't know where Sulu is now, or in what time for that matter, but I assure you he can he me screaming and knows I have seen the Earwig...
 

I don't know how you get Geezer Butler out of my comment, and while I'm not super familiar with his stuff, what little I've heard I do think his project totally fuckin' rocks. Sabbath is still SABBATH!!!! but GZR is a pretty tough nut.
 

Joey wrote:


Gak. I think this guy crawled out of Adam Ant's filthy, East Liverpool toilet.

Hey joey be nice to Adam. He's had a "few problems" lately...

http://www.thebubbleburst.co.uk/bb.php?entry=Adam%20Ant
 

"Here's the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"
 

@mr. white & baron von goolo.....yeah, you boys are right. let's not bicker and argue over which is better. mainly because it'll take me back to a time where i could only dream about seeing a girl naked, let alone hope to have sex with her.




and that was like two weeks ago.
 

Yeah don't pick on Adam Ant.

I just want to say this. I personally don't care how anyone dresses. Be as "rock & roll'" as you want to be... if you are comfortable with that look go for it. I'm certainly not one to talk. What pisses me off is the attitude and snarkyness this (most of these) guy radiates. Hey pal at best you unloaded some gear for your buddy's high school 'garage' band. More than likely as stated above, you spend your days at Quick Change Oil and your nights working too hard at being a poseur.

- D.S.
 

With the vest wide open
So much you can't hide
Put on a stupid pendant (pendant)
Make sure you are a douchebag (douchebag)

If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Just grab a stripey blond hott (blond hott)
Slip her a few roofies (roofies)

Don't bathe, don't read - what do you do?
Don't bathe, don't read - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside he's missing.
 

It's the Unipooper.
 

I reckon it's an Andrew Eldritch wannabe. Too bad he also wants to be scrote.
 

He isn't worthy off cleaning Andrew Eldritch's toilet.

Also he wouldn't know Sisters of Mercy from O-Town.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Too true, that's why I said "wannabe".
 

@ Douchey Smurf

you should be awarded some sort of prize for working the Sisters of Mercy and O-Town into the same sentence for quite possibly the first time in human history...


..or at least a gratutious hand job from the striped hott..


well done amigo.
 

@ steve zodiac

I think Adam "Stuart Leslie Goddard" Ant was pretty cool when I first saw "Goody Two Shoes" roll on MTV as a pubescent lad in high school.

However, if you read into what I said carefully, I was only insulting Adam's toilet (and this wannabe Adam douchebag.)

BTW, I'm still in love with the teacher hott from the Goody Two Shoe's video.

But if Adam's had some problems, that's Adam's fault. Furthermore, I'd rail on any celebrity who fell from lofted perch.
 

Earwig and the angry inch.
 

Dude doesn't have a belly button
 

This is one of the nastiest douchebags I've seen yet. Bravo.
 

He has a beetle abdomen. It looks like he's an actor *cough cough* and wearing some kind of latex apron.
 

If skullboobies (metaphysical hooligan's hott)was her male counterpart, would she be this guy?

BTW DB1 I dunno why u were apologising about skullboobies' hotness - she has been my fave since then.
 

@ Douchetoevsky 8:35

Thanks brudda.

I started to go with Backstreet Boyz... but O-Town sounded more humorous. Who was O-Town anyway? Was that the toolbag that was married to Jessica Simpson? Don't respond... we know we all don't give a rat's ass.

- Douchey Smurf
 

I think this guy has the coveted "Smells like poo" douchie all but locked-up.
 

I'm sorry, but can anyone find his belly button?
 

Joey wrote:

I think Adam "Stuart Leslie Goddard" Ant was pretty cool when I first saw "Goody Two Shoes" roll on MTV as a pubescent lad in high school.

I diggeth verily. It was the 80s. People painted stripes on their faces. IT was cool. I saw the eurythmics back then and Annie did the same thing and it was Pretty Fuckin' Cool.


However, if you read into what I said carefully, I was only insulting Adam's toilet (and this wannabe Adam douchebag.)

True. Tis true.

BTW, I'm still in love with the teacher hott from the Goody Two Shoe's video.

She is a sweetie pie...

But if Adam's had some problems, that's Adam's fault.

Sorta. I think he's a quart low on the serotonin thing...

Furthermore, I'd rail on any celebrity who fell from lofted perch.

As well you should. It's half the fun of the interweb thingie...
 

he looks like an exhibit at a wax museum, say of some dead 80s era 1 hit wonder.
 

uhhhh...... this guy is straight POOOOOOO!!!!!!!
 

I'm gonna go out on a limb right now and predict Earwig is not only a front-runner for HCwDB of the week, but that he will win,

It's too perfect. He is a mashup of epic doucheosity - Aviators in the club, rockabilly skull skarf, euro-techno precision chin pubes, colossal "adventure trail" of a thundering wanknut, pale, pec-less chest exposed under his ultra-ironic gs station attendant shirt... *gasp for breath*

Pseudo-goth black n' white nail polish, every flavor of bling possible (except for the Jesus, but he's an Atheist/Satanist) and banty-rooster Brylcreemed-back comb.

Not to mention Ashley McWantsToBone on his right is exposed-root, coral pink perfection. She's a puff of merangue, air and empty calories, but something about the look in her eyes makes the ganglia twitch.
 

Does the lack of bellybutton put him in the antichrist category?
 

Why is his shirt so small?

I was trying to think of a better reply, but this guy is just so damn pathetic it wasn't even worth it.
 

Sorry Skullboobies!

It seems that in my drunken haze and by inference, I have insulted my unrequited, pixellated darling. This, in essence, is proof of the dichotomy of human nature. SB herself further strengthens my point.

Skulls = Death. Mortality. A stark reminder of our own fragile existence.
Boobies = Boobies.

So despite the warnings, we still desire to have what the heart (and indeed the loins) want.

Love/hate. Skulls/boobies. Hotts/scrotes.

The writing's on the wall people.
 

I know the chick in the stripes. From knowing her, I can say that she is far more bleethed-out than she appears in this photo. The earwig can keep her, and the loot-bag of VD's she comes with.
 

I wish the picture was of better quality, I count at least four other douches in the background here, not counting Captain Obvious and his friends Candy and 'the dumpy one'.

DB of the year material for sure.
 

Lead singer of the band Three Star Seed.

Not a joke. Check youtube for some more glory.