There are three kinds of men who shave their chest: 1.Olympic Swimmers 2.Acrobats 3.Douchebags

Which one are you spockbag?
 

Abs by Auschwitz? Skinny ain't pumped, Twink McStick.

Blondie has that slutty look that's hotter than Sasquatch's unwiped ass crack in August.
 

His abs are humping his spine; ew.
 

you know you're douchy when you don't even get the pass with the pool still stirring from use in the background.

The double vulcan actually insinuates that he would rather be pointing at his abs if only the cumbersome heads of the Hott's had not got in the way.
 

It looks like a fake "300" gay chestplate had a cave-in.
 

I hope he develops a bad case of "Trouble With Tribbles"
 

Left Hott has a face like a Munchee-chee. Which gives me a carbide-steel erection.
 

Live long and prosper. And after you prosper buy your friend some bikini bottoms to match her top.
 

She can bust my ghosts
 

Judging by the fogged haze at their mid-riffs, Blonde Hott's barking spider just belched out a brownie blast.
 

No straight guy has abs like that.
 

She ain't fraid a no douche.
 

Once again, a fantastic specimen. This one looks almost mutated.

We can only hope that his next dental exam is performed through the rectum, by Captain Hook. And the stitches put in by a Rottweiler called 'Saber-tooth'.
 

You know what? Don't live long and prosper, dicknose. Turn around and drown yourself, and leave the hotts for me. Blonde hott could swim with me any day.

I can almost see the oils in the Preparation H separating from the water. It's absolutely disgusting. His face looks like a monkfish.
 

Without the vulcan gestures, douche face, gold chain, and general douche aura, I'd be inclined to give a not a bag pass. Then again, if my aunt had nads, she'd be my uncle.

The hotts tickle my groin in all the right places.

By the way, I know that's Prep H, and not hot tub water greasing this choad.
 

my new avatar should make us happy.
 

You can almost smell the preparation H oozing from this picture.

Blond hottie is NICE!
 

I hate to be the one to point this out, but ages before the Vulcans used it, it was the gesture used by the Cohenim, the priestly class, when they bestowed blessings on people. I guess there's always a tiny possibility that he could be a Heeb-douche, but I doubt it. If he is, I'm voting him out of my tribe.
 

@ pfah...

It does indeed!
 

@ Pfah:

That kinda turned me on...
 

Saavik Hott: Hotts liking douchebags is a difficult concept. It is not logical.

Kirkbag: We learn by douching.
 

Pon'far Douche
 

hello hawaiian hott, your thighs look absolutely scrumptious and that baby fat really does it for me. i know your clock is ticking before you blow up...

and good call on mr. comic-con. this moment in douche time was thanks to a Subway diet and Hydroxycut. now you've got the chicks braden, now the question is whether all that hentai taught you anything. "pretty sweet" before and after pics.
 

Classic James Dean-cum-Vanilla Ice circa 1990-doucheface!
 

I can't shake the feeling that this dude has no genitalia, ala Ken.
 

The cutie with the turquoise tie string is all I care about. She needs real support. The vulcan hand bag and the bleethed blonde can disappear into the haze.
 

This ab-crustacean has just coated his entire chest with the glistening tingle of Preparation-H, and apparently applied Superglue to his pinkie and index fingers respectively to achieve "the Spocker" hand gesture.

Live long and prosper in the bowels of that scrotetastic garden you call Encino, bra.
 

Live long and DOUCHE DOUCHE!
 

he's so riddled with the contagion known as greico that i can actually feel it infecting hawaiian hott's supple young small-boobied body as i look at this picture. sad...

-haberdouchery
 

Hawaiian Hott looks nervous. I reckon she just stood there long enough for the camera to flash and then got the hell out of there. She owed Blondie a favor.

Vulcan Bag has that soiling himself expression again! Goddammit!
 

Um ... waiter? I'm afraid my lobster isn't quite done. Look, he's still flailing around and groping my date. Please send this back to the kitchen, and don't bring it back until it's been properly boiled alive to a nice deep red color.
 

Right before the pic got snapped, Scrottie here asked Hawai'ian hott if she'd want a "good lei."

Right after the photo, she kicked him in the tribbles. "I can't take any more!" she shouted.
 

Because of his over usage of Prep H, his stomach now looks like the skin of an alligator. Ugh.
 

The douche's face says, "I'm exploitable," and the greased abs scream, "I masterbate for money."

The Hotts make me happy... real happy, happy like a gopher in soft dirt.
 

Hawaiian Hott is the cutest flat-chested girl I've ever seen.

Blondie looks like a handful of trouble, by which I mean a night with her ends up with you getting booked for a triple homicide that you didn't commit.

Scrote boy needs a pick-axe to the skull.
 

This picture is funny because I was at Braden's pool party and I took this picture. We just played Rock, Paper, Scissors; winner takes the the hotts. Braden threw scissors and I threw a giant rock at his forehead just as I snapped this pic.
 

Braden ... Bra!!! ... seriously yo!! .. live long and prosper
... you totally rock broski!! .. killer abs BTW!! .. and all you haters ... hate the game not the game master yo!!
 

Braden caught on camera in mid-fart, and the blonde is just beginning to get a whiff. Hawaiian hott must be upwind.

Bromancing the Stone?
Bromeo and Julius?
Brobocop?
 

Looks like 45$ of preparation H was used to dry up 2l of douche backwash... Cap Kirk will confuse him with fit alien trim...
 

Hahaha...this is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. First off, let me begin by stating that I actually know these people in the above said picture. The guys name isn't "Braden", it wasn't a "pool party" at his house and neither of these girls are "foreign exchange students". Matter of fact its mildly racist to steal a picture of a girl and label her as a foreign exchange student because of the simple fact that she's Asian.

My boy, who's name is actually Brooks, is quite a chill individual. Despite the fact that you all are clearly hating on him SO hard...he'd still be nice to you and try to befriend you. Both of these ladies are class acts as well. My advice is to stop judging books by their cover. Don't hate so much on other people just because they appear to be good looking and have fun in pictures. I assume you all wouldn't want people judging you by random pictures stolen off the internet.

As I conclude, I feel its my responibility as a member of the male gender to report that he banged the girl to his right. I hope you all took something from this schooling. "HI HATERS!"

By the way, I fathered the above stated you man.
 

By the way, most of you are clearly pussies who get ABSOLUTLEY no ass. Step your shit up.
 

@SOwinFOH

n00b, don't you be telling experts on douche about our own thing. You prolly use the same AXE scent anyways.

@pfha

lol, nice touch..
 

@swinfoh 12:04

Thanks for clarifying all of that for us Sean.

1. I thought for sure the guy's name was Braden.

2. It wasn't a pool party? It must have been way more "fly" than that.

3. The hotts aren't "foreign exchange students"? You mean we've all been misled?

4. I hate mild racism. I prefer my racism to be uber hot. Ask Joey to translate that for you.

5. I don't get laid because I'm married.

6. Number five was a joke at my own expense. You see we can actually can make fun of ourselves too if it'll make someone else laugh.

7. ya there's a seven. Go put on your leotards and your silk cape and get on with defending the world from us Haters. You've got a big job in front of you. Now be off. May the sign of the "Double Vulcan" be with you.

8. P.S., Can you tell us what Brook's last name is too?
 

Straight to the Hall.
 

@ someone who is not full of hate, "sean noden"

(chowda) NICE TOUCH ON YOUR BLOG PHOTO.
They actually sell those mandanas in San Francisco...'cept they are rainbow colored and say, "queer."

#1. Your man "Brooks" is apparently so wonderful, he's PLURAL.

B. To us, Brooks = DOUCHE

#3. So he banged the chick to his right...good for him; another notch on his bedpost.

The fact that he's on this site speaks volumes; he throws ridiculous hand gestures at the camera, he's shirtless in the picture, and his body looks like it just came out of life-sized action figure injection mold.

Tell your man "Brooks the Plural" to read the book, Hot Chicks With Douchebags, and begin the twelve step process to recovery.
 

You are right. Brooks is much better than Braden. And you didn't tell us why he is sporting more grease than Puget Sound after the Exxon Valdez incident.
 

I don't believe Braden knows where the "Spock'em" from "Rock'em Shock'em Spock'em" comes from. He just liked the tshirt he saw in WalMart
 

He actually reflects light back upon himself, like a black hole.
 

Spock could look a little gayer.

Wait, no he couldn't...
 

To the lovley ladys: This is the type of thing your going to have to explain to your 16yr old daughter one day, when she throws this pic in your face after you confront her one day when you find her coke stash. To mac daddy douche: I can only assume your folks are pro-life Trekies.