Dolf's little sweater shirt screams

"Suppressed Homo"
 

ugggghhh....i hope douche's shirt ensemble isn't a preview of the fall 2008 metrosexual collection. epaulets?
 

This is a very intriguing bit of photography. At first glance it looked as if someone pulled this into Photoshop and ever so precisely reduced his head. Upon further inspection I think it's legit. Typically Choads sport abnormally large craniums. Rick "Pop it and Lock it" Gray here seems to suffer from exactly the opposite. I'm not saying he's a pinhead exactly... just saying that it looks like someone stuck an eleven year olds head onto a 23 year olds body.

Don't worry Rick. Your head will grow as time goes on. One day you too will have a melon of Bra sized proportions.

- Douchey Smurf
 

I can't hate this guy as much as I could if he wasn't just pretending to prefer peaches to cucumbers. Ingrid's such a sweet girl, accompanying her football batter friend to the Plaid Rabbit.

On second thought, I really hate scroatees and the tool factories who bear them.
 

Looks like that gray shirt's been in the dryer a few too many times.....or maybe he got it from Goodwill. And a popped collar to boot! Maybe it was just "80s Night" at the local concert hall and Scrotes Without Backwards Hats was on stage.

She is delightful, and I'd really like to see how short her little white skirt is. But the matching rings tell me they might be a wedded couple. Oh the humanity!
 

On first immediate view, one might think, notadouche, but upon closer inspection, it becomes clear this dork is a level 3 douche.

1. popped collar
2. wrist...thing...
3. greased up hair in a minor league blowout
4. dorky earrings he raided from his aunts jewelry box
5. pencil beard
6. lower lip bling
7. REALLY stupid shirt that's 3 sizes too small, so as to show off his muskles.

So, yeah - he's a real douche. Not a level 5 like HOS members, and (on the other hand) also not a douche wannabe like Friday Goose.

So I say "Lay 'em down and smack 'em yak 'em"
 

Is that a labret ring? I remember the days it was actually cool to have one, that was before idiots like him started sporting one.

It follows the same evolution as the ear ring, George Carlin warned us about this stuff. First the rebels did it to piss off the norms, then the norms started getting them...Same thing here.

I think the only thing left would be to stick a tow-chain through a major organ..I'm sure our friend would volunteer if the splatter matched his collar. Yawn.
 

@Steve Zodiac:

Yeah what gives with his wrist thing, is he at a Bangles concert or something?
 

Roger was much better looking and much more tastefully dressed.

Disney: 1
Douche: 0
 

OK, either they're in East Europe, or they both bought their wardrobes at Corky's yard sale.
 

That guy has an enormous head. To make matters worse, it's not even proportional with the rest of the body so he just looks awkward.

It never ceases to amaze me how the douche refuses to smile in almost 95% pictures. You have a sparkling piece of eye candy all over you. Drop the act and be happy you got that attaching itself to you.
 

Such an oversized cranium is a sign of early malnourishment. Someone call Child & Protective Services before it is too late!
 

The hott's ring is on her middle finger, not her ring finger, so they're probably not married.
 

I can't think of one thing that's right about this guy, and will pay 100 hundred dollars to anyonoe who can find one.
 

"Errrm so I hold her like this?"

She is a blonde Giaan Rooney (Australian swimmer), just looking at her lifts my heart. Then to see her touching Douchensteins Monster brings my heart hurtling back toward Earth in a flaming heap.

I had to look at him through gaps in my fingers, much like you do when watching a horror flick.
 

oh - here's one: he has arm hair?
 

DoubleXDouche beat me to my comment...Seriously, Roger was so much hotter than this EuroDouche...
 

It's Dolph Lundgren's son, Douche Lundgren.

And I would skulle nöta lik en par stövel, and förtära henne lik en äpple tårta svenske!!

YA!!!
 

Vas ist mit die kline sheisse kopf mit unsere Douche-ldorf freund Joey?
 

@ chowda

What small with is those shitting head with ours Douche ldorf friend, Joey?

WAS = vas
KLEIN = kline

So...what's up with the shithead friends of ours??

I'm not following... :)
 

It's like those episodes of Pinky and The Brain, when The Brain used to wear a giant human body suit but still have his tiny little head poking out the top. That's exactly what this is like. Except that guy is Pinky.
 

I'm pretty sure that the popped collar and the wrist bling are to hide the Frankenstitches. One of these things is not like the other.
 

John Krasinski douche.
 

Under his lips is either the smallest patch of facial pubes ive ever seen or one ridiculous herpe.
 

His biceptors are larger than his head! Hey there Bi-Ceptor, you can stop wearing your elementary school uniform now. Looks like you've outgrown it. (My grandma has the same bangle bracelet as this scrotum sacis wearing)
 

I know a friend who specializes in large tribal designs that don't mean anything if this guy is interested. I'm just sayin'.

Sweet Viking princess can come join me with her huge...tracts of land.
 

@ Mediocrity Strikes...


"What are we going to do tonight Brain?

"Same thing we do every night Pinky...try to get fuckin' laid broheim!!!!"
 

That's it. On Monday I'm getting a tribal tat, buying massive quantities of HGH, sporting the TDHT, picking out sunglasses bigger than the bay windows in my old house, draping my neck with dog tags, putting a hubcap sized watch on my right wrist, a wristdana on my left and wearing three shirts ALL with collars popped.
 

don't forget to save some $$$ for your fake tan. orange skin is completely healthy.
 

This guy bought the last fucking Jack LaLane workout outfit. Do you know how hard it is to find clothes made from REAL polyester?

BY THE WAY; what ever he has below his lip, has infected Inga's cheek. Eeeew, as if.
 

You are so on and so funny! You placed a big smile on my face right before bedtime!

Let's hope I wake up with one too! Keep up the Monkey Business!!!
 

He's pissed because he has a really really small head. No matter how much he eats, his head is still really tiny for his big body.

is she pregnant, her front is very flat from her boobs to her pelvis...

DJ
 

I think he must be a right handed wanker (or owner operator if you prefer) Hence the wrist bling is actually like doing weights as he vigorously masturbates?

I suspect his left arm is of similar proportion to his head.

Hot can pop my collar anytime.
 

Surely this fucker is foreign, no? I mean, come on- and if I'm not mistaken, that is a wedding ring- WTF
 

I think the freakishly small head clearly demonstrates the ease of which this chode could join the circus. There is also something a little odd about her long hands???? Hmmmmmm.....

I also think this was back in the day when he was still a roadie for the backstreet boys and she felt bad for him after the horror of seeing that lame ass shirt actually being worn by such a tool, hence the mercy pic.
 

Sorry babe, I gotta go home and feed the pythons.
 

@joey

I guess my functioning German needs a good make over after a 20 year dormant period.

After all I'm the guy who told a German girl.

"Ich will esse euer schmusekatze"

Heck, Barack would be proud of me.
 

Uh ... DalmatiAn. As in, from Dalmatia.

Damn, it sucks to be pedantic. But I guess someone's got to do it.
 

@ chowda

and of course she said...

"Sie essen dieses, amerikanisches Schwein," as she turned around, lifted her lederhosen to show you her "Kugelsack."

See, she did you a favor. :P Must've been an EAST German girl.
 

total douche
totally hot
 

I don't think this guy has ever held a girl before. Look how he seems to be pushing her away, lest he get girl coodies.

Come to me, Inga. I'm not afraid of girl coodies.
 

Isn't the Hott chick supposed to be the one with the ball pierce under her lower lip?
 

I like platinum as much as the next guy--but how many catalytic converters had to die to make that bracelet?
 

This club douche reminds me...last night as my friends and I were leaving downtown Baltimore, we stopped at a dark sketchy gas station, and while we were there, four guys in some weird-looking SUV pull up at the pump on the other side of ours. Three had white shirts and shaved heads, the fourth had spiked hair and a black sleeveless button down shirt. All were built about the same as Dalmatian Douche here. They then proceed to have some sort of pre-clubbing tailgate party, with techno music blasting out of the massive speaker system in the back of the SUV. I rarely see douches in real life, so it was an exciting sighting for me. And by exciting, I mean I got a good laugh out of seeing them. I'm just impressed they didn't try hitting on us.
 

I think he's more eurotrash than douche
 

I don't think he's pushing her away to prevent the contraction of coodies/cooties. Instead he wants the precise angle at which to contract his bicep and tricep.

Douchebag.
 

I'd like to sick Pongo on him & turn his genitalia into a chew toy
 

idk man, i think he's hot
 

Hello, my name is Wilton. I’ve stroked my engine 8,326 times since last Tuesday. Before you ask why a giraffe like me would attempt such a feat, consider this picture:

Cynthia and I, both having matching basal cell carcinoma on our chins since ’05, are part of the Make A Wish Foundation. My wish has always been to attend a Dave Mathew's Concert right after scrubbing my chin on the toilet seat where Donkey last received a blumpkin. Pretty simple right? I mean, case closed. But, Cynthia’s great wish, believe it or not… uhhhgghh, shit.. arrrgghhh, nooo that’s not… it’s not.. HIS Cock Ring…… sheeeiiiitttt! My wrist… Fuck! Xenu will destroy me!! You beeeooootch!

Anybody got some mirrors up in this mug??!
 

He is a roided up Fido Dido, converted into Cubist sculpture, then made flesh again. I think some of the Cubism remained in his system, much like a coldsore.
 

Looks like a "mini-me" version of Pumpy
 

101 dalmation reference, check.