Best hott EVAR!
 

"Karl: [Eating potted meat] I reckon it tastes alright. Mmm-hm

Frank: You really think it's got peckers in there? It smells funny.

Karl: Yeah, it's pretty loud. Mmm-hm
 

I almost don't notice the douche with the John Queer..I mean Deer look.

That is a mighty nice rack and it makes me want to kick puppies thinking that douche will be tuning in tokyo with those!

Life is not fair!
 

She is 100% paid for.
 

Karl: Reckon what you like to eat in there?

Frosty Cream Employee: Well, the French fries are pretty good.

Karl: How much you want for'em?
Frosty Cream Employee: They're .60 for medium and .75 for large.

Karl: 'Reckon I'll have me some of the big 'uns. Mmm-hm
 

I like mustard on them biscuits....Mmm-hm.
 

Some folks calls me a scrote head, some call me a douchebag. I'm just a dip shit with a long head on 'im that's shaped kind of like a 'nanner. Axe on one edge and Tag on the other. It's what the douche boys use to cut down bleethes and what-not. Mmm-hm.
 

She's all that is right with my current stiffy. It's bikini day.
 

oh my god, I know this douche bag, he's like 40 and goes to all the Charlotte clubs.....GAH!!!
 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that those are bought and paid for.

What a strange place to be wearing a bikini - a creepy poorly lit room with a hole in the wall while standing next to a complete douchebag.
 

Is that a miter saw or a meat slicer on the side? LOL!

Where the f*ck was this picture taken? Looks like some old abandoned warehouse that they were getting ready to shoot some porn with D-list stars.
 

on the set for Tool's new Alt/Hip-Hop video:

jUNk iN tHE TruNK

a.k.a.

cHOppEd AnD dUFFleD
 

Its Haywood Jablowme. Somebody embedded the whisks from a kitchen broom in his skull.

She's had several procedures. All of which look like they were performed by a recent graduate of the Acme College of Medicine and Animal Husbandry.

If those staples on the back of her skull fail, she's going to look like she had facial skin grafts from a baboon labia.
 

Is that a pen in your pocket or are you happy to see boobies?
 

"Hello. I am Douchetov. You would like to take picture with me, no?"

"Er, ah...ah, I guess so, Yeah, sure"

It's all fun and games now. Just wait 6 weeks until the smell leads someone to check behind the new plaster patchwork on the basement wall.

IFYM
 

Possibly not a douche?

No bling, tats, pout, clubgear, greasy appearance, U.R.C, huge sunglasses nor Grey Goose.

Perhaps a douchey mohawk, perhaps a fuzzy macrame hung on the wall behind.

Maybe he just got lucky, and for $50 got to squeeze luscious lemon hott and take a snapshot.

my $0.02
 

For God's sake no one give him a sling blade
 

Ahhhh...nothing like a pair of stiff silcone boobs to make my day
 

Looks like Dragodouche just immigrate from Soviet Russia and is enjoying the qualities of American hotts.....Although I do prefer the demure seductivness of a Eastern European hott......


Dragodouche says: "I will crush you with my two-tone Mohawk"
 

"In America, guy can get multicolored mohawk for 23.00 dollars"


"In Soviet Russia...........we have no money!"
 

this entry should have been called "Orange Blossom Special"
 

Is that a cougar? Or a younger chick with some rode miles on her? I'm confused.

Homeboy's all over the map... baby rooster mohawk... button down plaid... pen in his front pocket... he looks like he's going for the 'Punk Maintenance Man' look.
And it's not a good look on him. What is that? What would be a good look on him? 3 pitbulls... that would be fashionable.

- D.S.
 

That's the 50 year old bow flex chick. When she's 60.

The gardner fell asleep and her granddaughters gave him a new hairdon't.

dad's nads
 

This is REALLY weird.
This has to be the basement of the house where Still Life with Coors Light was shot. This is one of the creepiest pictures ever. It is like this guy just took her out of her cell long enough to snap this picture. What is going on in that place?!?!?!?
AHHHHh
Oh yeah, I'd bang that box like a freaking cow bell at a Deep Purple concert.
 

I just loooooove it when an 80 lb anorexic gets bolt-on chest enhancements. Especially when they leave a 6-in gap between your cleavage. Now you're ugly on the outside, too, sweetie.

To borrow a phrase from Dave Chappele, what can I say about this rooster douche that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? Bombed out and depleted, indeed.
 

is that a staph infection on his head?
 

@ Mr Douche Bigalow

Sir I'll have you know that the whisks from a kitchen broom was not embetted in my sons skull but it happens to be a extremely luxurious badger pelt he found while out picking aluminum for his community service. Come to think of it thats where he found that outfit also.
 

Heh heh heh, I'm older than that dude, and I'll tell you what, the weird hair shaving on the sides is easy...he's shaved everything off that is grey, she's got to be 40-something, and what he does in between that cleavage, is something no mortal should ever have to witness, think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
 

This photo is a classic of weird, hopeless, existential angst. The more you look at it the creepier it gets. It deserves to be preserved alongside Still Life with Coors Lite.
 

Batou is spot-on about the weird 6" cleavage gap going on here.

You'd have to tit-fuck her with a weird side-to-side windshield wiper weenie motion; it would sound like Neil Peart using thick cheeses as tom-toms.

Which is okay.
 

@darksock: Neil Peart using thick cheeses as tom-toms? Nice visual, or in this case I guess it would be nice audio?
 

Don't you live somewhere?

Did live at the state hospital.

Why?

I killed some folks a while back. They said I wasn't right in the head so they put me in the nervous hospital...instead of putting me in jail.

They let you out?

Yeah.

How come?

They told me I was well. Had to turn me loose.

Are you well?

I reckon I feel all right.

Who's that chick your with? Her tits look like eyes on a South Park character.

Mmmm Hmmm
 

Those boobies don't jiggle if you jostle them. I'm betting they make crunching noises like cellophane wrap.
 

Blech.

Looks like somebody ran out of stock on implants and slipped a pair of Koosh Kins in there instead.

He's creepy. I'll bet the crawlspace under his house is a blanket of quicklime.
 

Forget about the busted face and the storebought breast bubbles, this old chick's legs and hips are smoking. I'm getting that old familiar feeling. And, by familiar feeling, I mean, uh oh, I gotta go.

douche free since 8th grade
 

Why did someone photoshop an ancient witch's head on a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue photo?

And the guy needs to go back to the set of Rob Zombie's new flick.
 

Wasn't that guy the lead singer of Squeeze about 20 years ago?
 

I don't understand this picture. It makes me afraid. There seems to be some sort of power tool over there to the right, and a silicone stand-up in a yellow bikini posing with some guy who probably mows lawns for a living. I don't understand the faux-hawk thing, it all reeks of some sort of unfinished David Lynch type business.

Upon further examination, I don't think I want to know what's going on here.
 

Bad boob job meets big boob.

He looks like he's about 50.

Why is this photo taken in someone's basement?

Kurt Cobain called, he wants his flannel shirt back.
 

I always look at the douche in the picture to judge the douche factor as well as the D:H ratio, before looking for the hott(s). A weird phenomenon happened with this picture my balls actually shriveled reminiscent of the polar bear swim on the banks of Lake Erie, Ontario. Then I took a gander at fake boobied-tender legged, tanned hott and creamed my shorts.
 

WTF? A Baldouchehawk? that's just disgusting.
 

This one's pretty good. The hott is about as hott as contemporary surgical techniques permit. She clearly has a shaved cooter, so add it all up and we're talking someone who's working it a little too hard.

Douchebag here doesn't really strike me as a real doouche bag. I don't think that's a mohawk - I think it's some kid's art project on the wall behind him. If it is his hair, then I'd say he looks like a dimetrodon in on his head. Only one that's small, and faggy. He has a pen in his pocket. I think he's some kind of an art student, and she was a model in a the drawing class. He invited her over to his hot tub party and so they had this picture taken.

I don't see a red cup. I don't see a white belt. I don't see welding goggles. He doesn't have much of a smirk - just a closed smile because he probably has rusted pegs for teeth.

I like the mysterious handle, and the divet that was taken out of the sheetrock. Her boobies are unnerving. I think she's in her early 40s and is ULTRA high maintenance. If she was into coke and cigarettes should could get bleethy really quick. But I don't think that's what she's about. She's just one of those irritating sluts with zero selfesteen and massive sense of entitlement. She probably drives a white Escalade.

This isn't *quite* Still Life With Coors Lite, but it's in that direction...
 

This 73% fake Hott has never been heard from since this picture was taken.
 

I hate being "that nitpicky guy," but I do appreciate it when people point out my own spelling goofs, so: cypress is a tree. Cyprus is an awesome little Mediterranean country.
 

This picture makes me sad. Sad for this girl and the other hotts who work in this crappy-ass brothel.
 

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=22988774
 

If you only knew that he's 40 years old!!!!