i'd like to fund her trust

mickey O'douche
 

Check out that shelf in the bacckground! These guys are Champeen douchebags!
 

High school wanna-boozers...why dont they put down the $40 bottles and start drinking what they really love...Zima
 

Seth and Evan think they're "rockin" the wifebeaters so much they decided to handsign W's, though they'll later tell their buddies it means "wasted."

As in, she wasted her time with these jags.....
 

"Twatnecks?"

I prefer "Twat-wraps" myself.
 

What makes it worse is that she's obviously the only one in this picture who could possibly be old enough to buy alcohol, so she is contributing to the douchelinquency of these two scrotes.
 

This is what is wrong with americas youth, this two wife beater wearing junior douche bags need to be beaten back to their prep school. and as far as the precious little blonde, she needs to step up to older guys like myself, she can lay out by my pool all day eating grapes and drinking, and every hour on the hour preforming sexually acts. and every other day bringing over one of her naughty friends over to join in the fun.

btw fuck He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks (this two douchie juniors idol)
 

Wouldn't it be funny if that shelf in the background had like 20 bottles of Mrs. Butterworths on it?
 

Scooter and Steve are total deuchebags & maybe even gay? Flashin the "W" for the wannabe douches who can't keep up.
 

Nothing like unwinding after another day of learning long division in Mrs. Douchinski's class. And we totally didn't even get carded!

I long to divide her legs with all 2 inches of my love... assuming she's you know, of age and all.
 

db1, nothing will top that friday thoughts from a few weeks ago. you might as well give up.
 

massengill, thank you. That was the best completely random, hilarious thing I've read in a while. The only thing is, niether of these toads has half of the required wit to think of that, nor enough intelligence to know why it's funny.
 

"Wessyde?" More like Riverside for these two.

Future porn star in training. (the girl I mean)
 

Youth, absolutely
is wasted upon the young
if I knew then what............
 

So that's what it looks like when 20 year old girls get a lottery ticket that banks them $200.

I'm sure I could be persuaded by the hott with potty lips. The girl in the middle I mean.

Ahhh thank you - DONE.

DJ
 

@ Crucial Head

I'm with you, man. And two inches comin' at you 100 miles per hour is bound to do some damage! Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
 

This is perhaps the worst photo of all time. The dude on the right is such a pussy I can't even stand it. Say "Hello" to your Secretary of State in 20 years.

I would sit in 10 Vegas VIP lines filled with "Dog" impersonators, snicker and tell all of them I used to model to pay the bills just for the oft chance I might run into Portia who might be a ring girl in the "Dog" impersonator three stripe chin music finally.

Alright, time to go to the bar, pitch some woo and hopefully score something under 200 pounds.
 

Back shelf looks like a nice assortment of Summer's Eve & Massengill. Extra large, please! Douche it out, douche, douche, douche it out!!
 

I would take her to the new Hanna Montana movie after school.
Then I would have sex with her, and by sex I mean put my ding dong in her dillyhu.
I would then bribe her with an ipod nano not to tell anybody. I would give her two ipod nanos if she brought a friend over to watch the Jonas Brothers and give me handjobs.

Sucks that Brent is 15 and wears a toupee already.
 

@ massengill

hahahahahahah that's fucking hilarious. i'm with chity chitty- one of the best random comments i've seent lately.

@ dont wheeze the douche-

great name great reference.

I tip my URC to my fellow bag hunters this weekend!

Army of Douche-ness
 

If we were still hunter gatherers, we'd be sacrificing these people for the harvest.
 

It's like Weird Science meets Leaving Las Vegas!
 

after looking at the amount of alcohol in this picture, i'd be willing to bet the bank, that all 3 of these people's evenings featured anal play and vomiting.

i'm just sayin'....
 

I had to look closely at Scott Hamilton on the right and once I did I realized he's wearing her necklace.

As disgraceful as that is, it's a good photo to send us off into a weekend of being drunk and looking for someone to sodomize.
 

Wifebeaters are the mark of the chode
 

Wouldn't it be great if the two douches ended up hooking up with each other and you stopped by to deliver a pizza and ended up hooking up with the girl?

Just a fantasy.....(not the part about the two douches hooking up)

Oh well, its 7:30 in Southern California (Douche stronghold) and almost the Douching Hour!

I better get out there!!!

Douche On!
 

DB1, please have a book signing in L.A.!
 

Douche on, fellow bag hunters!

a merry weekend of alcohol and sodomy to all!
 

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High school choads waiting to get their star tatts.

Skanky-hott looks like she knows how to use those lips.
 

Next time Mom and Pops O'Leary go out of town they need to hide the key to the booze locker. All underage and nota for sure. The guys need to leave Tiffs house and get back to their D&D game... and Princess needs to go upstairs and play with her Mom's rabbit and think about me.

- Douchey Smurf

PS

Tiff... I'd kick Smurfette and Sucky Smurf to the curb for your basement dwelling arse.
 

Beautiful blondie
Come with me and make a film
I'm a producer
 

This looks like the intro. on a bad "After School Special".

I can't top the "Mrs. Buttersworth" post so I'll leave it at that.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Looks like she's ready to take one in the pink.....
 

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@lords of douchetown: whadda mean "future porn star"? Something tells me she's she's got her own channel on **cough** one of the free amateur "tube" sites **cough** ... uh... somewhere. Or so I heard. Maybe.

Great avatar, pfah.

And massengill: BEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK. I seriously blew coffee across the room. Awesome.

As for these asswits, this looks like a two-bedroom apartment in a new building in a small state-college town. The kind of place that's furnished with the crap from their folks' basement rec room, Target, and Goodwill -- where shit's taped to the wall and empty Bud Lite cans on the stained new carpet serve as ashtrays.

Where the place smells like old Taco Bell garbage, dirty boxers, and feet. And the television's always on.

Always.

Something tells me that five minutes after this pic was taken, she had to use the bathroom, saw the floor around the toilet covered with piss spatters and a scattering of stray pubes, grabbed her Coach bag and her friend Ashley and bolted like a bat outta hell to use the restoom at the BP station on the corner instead.
 

Oh, and since it's the weekend:

Fuck Fish Slap.







That is all.
 

Just look at all the liquor McLovin got us.

Speaking of Lovin, I dont care if that bitch is 14. I bet I wouldn't be her first. She might be my last, but I wouldn't be her first.


your sister's first
 

There is simply no valid excuse for this onrushing freight train of malignant 'bagtivity.

I really have nothing more to add.
 

These guys wear seat belts...
 

These two turds couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag. Feather-haired retro hott with questionable social habits is marginal at best.
 

But at least they have Crown. Not enough for a pass, but a reduced rate on mockery.
 

These are the rich preppy masturbatory champions who hang out at the mall all "thugged out" in their four hundred dollar jeans and call each other "dog" and try to act tough but fold like an empty wallet when you call their shit. Half a sip of that Grey Goose and they're gonna be making out on the sofa while the chick rolls her eyes and channel surfs on the plasma TV. She's the hot skank that the dork at their prep school fantasizes about taking on a date, but she's too busy blowing guys in the back stairwell of their prep school for Marlboro Reds.

Peace and chicken grease
 

If it is true she is a cardboard cut-out advertising standup thingy (or a photoshop) and not a real hott, then these douches are even douchier than originally thought.
 

Just wanted to add, BARLEY is malted, not hops, DB1.
 

There's always gotta be some douche with his weekend micro brew hobby to kill the fun. Thanks for the lesson darksack, I'm sure most of us knew it was barley and hops is just the flavor/perserver, but didn't care or have the need to correct DB1. Totally killed my lovely vibe enjoying everyone's bags.
 

Go chug 20 bottles of Mrs. Butterworths, Cleavite Salsa.