Red cup sez . . . drool in her cleavage, not into me, please.
 

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American Eagle's new ad campaign titled "Low Pants, Low Class" failed to make an impact on sales.
 

I would shoot Cleetus multiple times in the head with 12 penny nails from a trusty Passload nail gun.

Speaking of shooting multiple times...the things I would do to that trailer park slut. I would ride her like a Mexican saddle. I would drill her like a dentist on meth. I would bang her like a screen door at a crack house. I would tap that like a keg at a frat party.

IFYM
 

I think he is on furlough from the TB asylum.
 

"I ain't no high-class broad"
 

King, within his mind
Ubiquitous Red Cup knows
She will puke on him

'Ol Bagnanimous
 

nothing screams "inbred" like a stained wifebeater.
 

Yeah, these guys are all over the place where I live [near Atlanta]. Highly scrotacious. Do not approach. Often accessorized with a can of PBR in the left hand hanging out the window of his car. The car generally looks like it survived a tornado [barely], but will go from 0 - 60 in about 3 seconds and has a stereo in it that can be heard 2.5 miles away. The woofers are so huge that the car needs special shock absorbers or the tires would scrape on the wheel-wells. THey produce a tooth-loosening roar that causes the entire body of the car to produce a symphony of rattles that are louder than the music. Furthermore, these speakers cause seismographic responses for a 250-mile radius.

Hott is delectable. Verily, I would be on that like white on rice. I would tow her trailer, verb her noun, and otherwise commit lustful atrocities.

Yessir, sheez purty.
 

Jim-Bob-Billy-Ray fell off thuh trakter when he wuz just a littul boy. Never wuz the same again. Thuh dokter say the head trama gave him whatsit... Douchbag Sindrome. Ayuh.
 

The pastiness of his arms is only outshone by his tiny tat.
 

How in Nine Hells does a spindly, single-helixed Goober Lindsey smegma monkey like that score a Hee-Hawttie of that caliber? Is it the grease stained wifebeater? The saucy six inches of ink circling his arm? Or perhaps the security of knowing that if he crosses the line at any time, it would a child's play to grab him by those flapping ear handles and knock out the rest of his teeth with her perfect, coconut-scented knee?
 

Tipsy, leopard bra,
I would totally do her.
Big bulky cell phone.

Skeeter
 

She's pretty trashy.
Next to him, she looks Royal.
Bring me a sandwich!

Skeeter
 

You know I was almost going to give this gentleman here a pass, because I didn't believe that it could be real. However, between the John Deere hat, wife beater and barb wire tat - which appears to be basically random "X"s with a line drawn through them, he gets nothing. What's worse is the sagging with his AE underwear and pocket knife on his belt. Plus, I've seen Deliverance, I know what that look means...

As for her, wow, she is lovely. Those eyes are just striking and looks like she has quite the little body on her too. I pray that she is not really with him, and if she is, I hope she's carrying protection, by which I mean a 36 oz. Louisville Slugger, because there looks to be some squealing tonight.
 

@ baron

It's a crying shame, isn't it?
 

Put that tongue away.
Gene Simmons' a friend of mine.
You're no Gene Simmons.

Skeeter
 

I have a theory as to why she's with him. The look in her eyes say, "My daddy/uncle/brother gave me the bad touch when I were 12."

Which isn't to say I wouldn't try to show her the good touch. Lord I'd try. Right until I woke up one night, at 3 am, in the water bed in her double-wide, to see her standing over me with wild eyes and a screwdriver in her hand. I would then have to jump out the window--no easy feat, given the size of trailer windows--and run for the hills, Iron Maiden style.
 

Bobby-Joe here is his own uncle, and tomorrow morning, when Daisy Duke finally realizes this important fact of his genetic heritage, methinks she's going to go Daisy Puke on his stained wife-beater.

~ Fidouchiary Responsibility
 

Since when did Mila Kunis start hanging out with "John Queere" Hat Douche?!?

Any guy who tilts a John Deere hat more than 3 degrees (to allow for accidental tiltage) should be raped by a giant horse cock until he hemorrhages massive amounts of blood and dies. ZERO TOLERANCE!
 

The hills have 'bags, too, apparently...
 

She's wearing a leopard print bra - can't be too wholesome.
 

Put that trash back in the trailer.

By which I mean bury him in the latrine with the rest of the poo.
 

Oh good, what appears to be a designer john deer hat, wife beater with tit dirt, exposed AE briefs, pager, and a Pam Anderson arm tattoo. That is one skinny scrote. With all that practice calling pigs, its not suprising that he figured out how to call hotts.

She has touched him, no way I could ever see her as attractive as a result of this.
 

Is that a text pager I see? I'm sure this is just a budding plastic surgery resident plying his trade deep in the Appalachians. I would guess PGY 6 at this point.

Scrote Von Douchemarck
 

Just think, This scrotes vote counts... Next stop for Trailer Hott: The set of "18 and Barely Legal"..
 

I could be this guy. All I need is a bad tat and a tilted hat. Oh and a wifebeater. If I just applied myself who knows where I would be today.

As a man much wiser than myself once said, "I'd eat a yard of shit just to get to her ass". Indeed.
 

Yeah, this guys a meth dealer, no doubt about it. Probably pimps out his sister here on weekends.
 

He might be from the trailer park, but he works at Jiffy Lube, judging by the stains on his mandatory "COPS" costume. I hate to say it but this could be my in-laws house with the jury-rigged porch light and soffet vents falling out of the eaves. And it could be my brother-in-law if he shaved off his Grizzly Adams beard judging by how skinny he is. God, I've said too much. At least he might be somewhat gentlemanly since he did give the hott his oversized medium sweatshirt to wear in the chilly country night. Leopard boobies are good to all.
 

Ah bin practisin
maybe this time Ah will not
Shoot 'fore ah gits in

'Ol Bagnanimous
 

Cooter fucks it up for everyone by grabbing Dixie the stripper before she can even take off her sweatshirt. Way to go, ass douche.

She is as hot as donut grease!

dad's nads
 

mr. and mrs. iovani are very distraught. mislead by a realtor, the quaint country lifestyle they had imagined of LL bean fame was rocked when their daughter chloe seamlessly integrated herself with the customs of the real local fare.

she will not be attending smith college. she will become exceptionally good with a microwave and using foundation to cover facial contusions.

mr. iovani quietly drinks himself to death, his wife muffling her sobs in over her stainless steel range. the URC mocks them with a cruel, Faustian glimmer.
 

Beeper buzzin', yo
Gots me some smack to get out
My bitch gets hers, too




Changin' oil all day
Gets me hot for some lovin'
Blow job for twenty
 

Reptilian stare
She DOES lahk spadirs 'N Snaykes
Guess thats what it takes

sorry about the Jim Stafford ref
'Ol Bagnanimous
 

There has to be some pics somewhere of an uberscrote wearing fatigues. That is haw the douche not only gets these mindless hotts, but disrespects our men in uniform.
 

Dear DB1,
After viewing this picture I am wondering if it is possible that the Douchebag species is De-evolving. Is it actually possible that there will be a slow atropy of mind and therefore body through abnormally low levels of use?

I am invisoning a DB species future to that of the "infected" from 28 days. That is once infected the greco virus will run its course until they have de-evolved into a heap of quivering mass, only reconizable by the permantly spiked grease preserved hair, and scent of axe vice.

If they can be quarantined for a long enough time, might it actually be possible to stop the plague?

ps) spelling sucks...sorry drunk due to viewing of this.
 

Red Cup Alerts should be broadcast over the airwaves like Tornado Warnings.
 

Sunken chest, pot belly, arms the same size starting from the shoulder, This is one sorry ass excuse for even a douchebag.
shes kinda yummy..
Turdacious
 

listen, we all joke around and have a good time with these pic's, but every now and then i get really concerned. how does this happen? short of genetic abnormalities, a massive head injury, or Elisabeth Fritzl type abuse; what's wrong with these women's minds? is it the education system? a self esteem black hole? i'd like some serious responses.
 

They died so that we may continue to laugh at scrote and leer at hott.
 

He got a discount for the barbed wire tatt - It only required 2 braids to make around his upper arm.
 

Why, just last year Jimbo-Billy-Ray-Bob got sum o thuh female lav-stawk wearin sunglasses that looks lack they wuz made from the windshield off thuh 1956 ford
out behand the outhouse. Ah axed him why you gone an dun that, an he makes a weird sign with his hands and a queer sorta "kissy-face". Ah wishes there wuz drugs fer that. If he wuzza lame dog ah'd take him out back with mah .22 and putim outta his miz'ry.
 

Riverdouche, if I may be so bold to opine on your question, I don't believe it is an issue of abuse/neglect in the hott's past, but more of an idolization of hot girls without considering who hey really are.

Let's take this girlie for example, what do we know about her? She's the kind of girl who wears Daisy Dukes and a leopard print bra under a white shirt. She is very clearly trying to draw attention to herself, which is highlighted again by the sweatshirt dangling off her shoulders, and if you look closely, her shorts appear to be unbuttoned. So the natural response for males is draw into her legs or breasts because that's where she's drawing you, but did you notice the big pimple/herpes sore on her face?

My point with this is that the Scrote is often mocked for drawing attention to his arms with the barb-wired tats, and it is discussed how stupid the douche must be (I'm looking in Bra's general direction here), but rarely a discussion of who the girl is. My guess is that this girlie isn't a Rhodes Scholar and is getting by in life on her looks, so should we be shocked that two dull knives are attracted to each other?

Either that or girls are stupid and this jackass has money, either way.
 

Riverdouche - that answer is not a simple one. What confuses me is, out of all the pictures that have been put up on this site, THIS is the one that truly disturbs you? I've seen 10x worse here. As DB1 has said repeatedly, women are somehow confused by the "spectacle" these greasewanks offer up with their overly gelled hair, fake tans, and flashy jewelry. While men are often criticized for being shallow pigs, women are clearly stupid, confused followers when it comes to the opposite sex.

Damn, was that too harsh? Or perhaps just too honest.
 

Even worse, keg beer sux.
 

This douche tries to pack so much in such a small space and just misses. He deserves a second look. He has the hat tilt but it is a John Deere, facial espression but it appears he forgot halfway through what to do with his tounge, some king of mixed dogtag/jesus bling, wifebeater with grease stain - but that is his work uniform, pseudo tat, fake pager, an attempted chin strap, designer gay underwear, and an emerging hand gesture #42. An the hott is a near miss bleeth. We may be in the presence of an emerging idiot savant of douche.

And by second look, I mean a second stray deer slug.
 

What's disturbing besides the fact that this scrote can vote and may even be allowed to drive a vehicle. There is a better then average chance he may be the most intelligent one in that group of inbreds.
Take them all out....now
 

What. Is. On. Your. Shirt.
 

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She probably really imagines herself as something hot. Which she is, but won't be in 20 years after dating a hundredweight of douches like this geek. Which is a shame, since she could probably reach for the stars (while he reaches for that rainbow).
 

This is one of the most offensive pics I've seen on here. She looks much too delicious to be hanging on that...thing
 

@ quixote, there is no question that we are immediately drawn to certain features of the girls/women on display here. that's natural. i'm sure she ranks middle of the class in summer school, but even good looking moronic girls tend to instinctually find men who have something going for them. am i not giving this douche enough credit? perhaps he started his own internet business, or charms with a silver tongue, or is waiting for a huge inheritance; my point is that these girls seem to have forgotten that they have the upper hand, even the worst of them.

@ anon 2:20, of course there have been much worse pics. that was a comment inspired more by a contemplative moment than the severity of this pic. i guess my point was that i have alot of fun with this site, but don't often consider that these are real people. the pics start to seem like cartoons and caricatures after awhile, as opposed to the "mundane" assholes we are exposed to in our everyday lives.
 

this girl looks good in this pic no doubt...but we really don't know...she could have a thick regional accent that would make a trucker cringe(and all regional accents say the same thing)she could have that and summer teeth...she could have 3 kids and a boyfriend in prison...we just don't know...i have seen many a couldabeens hanging out on the douchebag track where you think like prof higgins man if i could teach her she could do much better...not all these eliza douchelittle hots are savable
 

Judging by the sweet single-wide trailer in the background, this is some pre-coital cousin lovin'.

Fucking hillbillies.
 

Whoever said he has money may be right. It's Jackie Earle Haley's baby brother Joe-Bob. He hooked this rural hott by telling her how his brother was the long ball hitter in "Bad News Bears - the old one."

Of course, there's no way he nor his brother still have money, but she doesn't know that. No fuckin' way - not "out thar" with no Internet.....
 

John Deer hat....priceless