Thank the good lord for that eloquent clarification. Had he not so astutely captured his own awesomeness, I might have jumped the gun and dubbed him a giant DB. Good save, Spikey-headed go-getter!
 

Wow...such a fantastic lyricist/poet. The use of all caps and no punctuation really captures the essence and nature of the douche.

This guy clearly came to the fork in the path while on a hike in the woods….and chose the path of the douche. Congrats.
 

I was going to give him a Nottadouche pass until I saw that he only likes well-done pizza.
 

fagets?
 

"I NEVER FOLLOWED THE TREND IT WAS JUST SOMETHING THAT WENT GOOD WITH ME"...talk about a douche contained in a riddle wrappped in an enigma draped in Armani Exchange...
 

Rarely does a manifesto come along that makes you dumber for having read it. This is one of those manifestos. We thank the good lord for you, Igor Twatsky. By "thank" we mean set you on fire and by "god for you" we mean drop you off a bridge.
 

..and i forgot, sprayed in orange goo.

el doucherino
 

I LOVE THE BEACH BUT SOMETIMES I LOVE THE SNOW!?

If you read that the way the punctuation dictates the tone, your fucking head will explode.
 

May I have the last 3 minutes of my life back? Thank you.
 

By the way, I could have guessed Dallas Cowboys by the sixth word of the first run-on sentence.
 

He dont need no punctuation in his life either.

It really is shocking to see people with no sense of humour about themselves. What an idiot.
 

There seems to be an odd nature about this douche. Some of the things he says just really don't add up.

"COCKY STUBBORN AND VERY CARING"
Very Caring? What the hell?

"WATCH MOVIES...BOX...SEX...MAKE MONEY.... DRINK...HIKE..."
Hike? Did this douche just throw hiking in with "SEX" and "MAKE MONEY"...what the F

I'd put money on this guy acting all "hard" and "tough"...and then trying to make out with his friend Eric after a few Zimas
 

typical tony "the romosexual" romo fan.....
 

Wow. HJBBAD finally has some competition. Speaking of HJBBAD, isn't it about time for another entry from him??
 

I've always been curious as to what someone who writes/thinks like this would consider a "good woman"

Anyone care to help me out?

Army of Douche-ness
 

ID JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT NOW MY FUCKING HEAD HURTS FROM TRYING TO NAVIGATE THROUGH ALL OF THE 'ALL CAPS' STYLE THIS WASTE OF LIFE DECIDED TO PUT OUT THERE ON THE INTERNETS MY FAVORITE LINE IS 'YOUR NOT GETTING PAID TO MASTURBATE TO ME' THATS PRICELESS AND COMICAL YO WHAT UP......DID I SAY WHAT UP.....ALSO AM NOT SURPRISED HES A DALLAS COWBOYS FAN MAYBE I COULD READ HIS DIATRIBE ALOUD RECORD IT AND MAKE IT MY RING TONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.




sorry about that. i believe i just lost 58 points off my I.Q. score from just typing that way.
 

"HONESTLY DONT NEED ANYONE IN THIS WORLD I DID EVERYTHING ON MY OWN LIVED ON MY OWN PAID FOR EVRYTHING ON MY OWN SO DONT THINK IM THIS SPOILED KID"

Go ahead, spoil yourself, get an education. You've earned it.
 

ugh....

how about HJBBaD

and

HDNNBIHL

in a winner take all

lyrical smack down?


THAT would be epic.


and by epic, I mean internet lobotomy.
 

@johnny scrotten...if that were to ever be televised on a pay-per-view channel, i'd gladly fork over some cash to watch it. party at my house.
 

Gee, I know I'm totally smitten with a dumbass who manages to totally desecrate the English language. Who wouldn't want to do him? His STDs will make you itchy, stupid, and orange.
 

Wow.
Reading that was like having crushed red pepper packed up my pee hole.
 

Why do those suffering from severe Narcissist Personality Disorder insist on believing that we all share in their self-worship?

Oops, I think I just answered my own question.

As a rebuttal, I can only offer the immortal words of Maddox: "Seven sixteenths of one inch: That’s the distance you’d have to move your pinky in order to not sound like an idiot."
 

"SOON OR A LATER"
 

what language is that?

douche english?

bag latin?

orange esperanto?

doucheroglyphics?
 

That is the best shit I have read in the last 30 days.

He needs to write for Man Magazine
 

MONEY...REREAD...DID I SAY MONEY..REREAD...IM A VERY RANDOM PERSON...REREAD...RANDOM PERSON...REREAD BITCH...I WILL MAKE PPL GO NUTS I LOVE PIZZA...REREAD...PIZZA
 

or as my uncle alexi used to say " better to pout your lips and have everyone think you a douchebag than post what you're thinking and remove all doubt"
 

Now I know what an injured Douche sounds like.

Clearly a cry for help.

Next step: track to the source and put out of misery.

And thanks for ruining the Cowboys for me asshole.
 

This douche totally reminds me of Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club. Only Judd did it without douchiness.
 

I'm seriously a little more stupid for having read that.

May God have mercy on your soul.

Also, CAPS LOCK isn't a way of life, asshole.
 

Punctuation FTW!

Seriously, did he miss the weeks in elementary where they discussed periods and commas?
 

lol i found this guys myspace page. i won't divulge the address because db1 doesn't like that sort of thing. but let me just say his main tag line is 'I RUN CONNECTICUT'

if this guy runs Connecticut, I'm scared to know who runs Jersey.
 

You'd expect Bob Guccione's grandson to have better grammar than that.
 

As a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I'm not surprised in the least that he likes the Cowboys. Fans of the 'Iggles know that all Cowboys fans are douchebags. However, I didn't realize that douchebags had a king. I have now gazed on douche royalty. No further pictures or posts necessary. Put him in the Hall of Scrote immediately. He is to douche what Jessica Biel is to hot. May God have mercy on our souls.
 

"WRITE ME ON MYSPACE AND SAY WHATS UPPP"

He only likes girls who stutter?
 

"I LISTEN TO ALL KINDS OF MUSIC MMMM"

Hey, I like that Crash Test Dummies song, too!
 

I know BItches and drinks, and you my friend are no Bitches and Drinks.
 

hmm... megadouche... that's done!
 

I had to stuff cotton in ears because I swear that my brain was leaking out after reading that unidoucher manifesto. I'm familiar with the words but when strung together in that order they have know meaning. He appears to be somewhat grammaticly and educationaly challenged. But on the plus side he is orange, has a bent neck and appears to have just recently learned to stand upright.
What a mess.
 

So revealing....So telling....So insightful...So real....SO FUCKING DOUCHETASTIC!!!
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

If DNA Dan had a best friend I think it would be this tosser.
 

"...I don't give a f@#k who has the blowout and how much it's played out then why are you f@#king me then duh wtfff..."

I haven't seen such profound stream of consciousness since Kerouac. The hell with Maya Angelou, this guy is America's true poet laureate!
 

"I HONESTLY DONT NEED ANYONE IN THIS WORLD I DID EVERYTHING ON MY OWN LIVED ON MY OWN PAID FOR EVRYTHING ON MY OWN"

Translation: I was not born of mortal woman. I was spawned in the very bowels of hell from a horrific demon. His name cannot be said by mortal humans, because each syllable is a howl of anguish unknown to you. However, "Xyqztazay" is a close approximation.

I emerged, fully formed, from a pungent, sulfurous pit somewhere in the Jersey Meadowlands, with no parents to raise and comfort me. Or teach me to speak. I steal what I want, and I live in s small, foul-smelling cave under Newark, beholden to no one. The only way in which someone could describe me as "spoiled" is if they were referring to the noxious stench of B.O., rotten eggs, and spoiled clam sauce that emanates from my skin.

12:21 PM
Delete
 

Please, oh please, do not let this douchebag procreate. His DNA must be removed from our collective gene pool or we face dire consequences.
 

What's truly amazing is that the stylesheet on his Myspace page is coded to make his friends' comments also appear in all caps. What does this guy have against lowercase letters?
 

Am I to infer that his hairstyle, which is quite common among the douche, is called a blowout? I thought only girls got blowouts. And that many among his tribe think the style is played out?

I find his writing style to be sort of Faulknerian stream of consciousness rather than a Trotsky manifesto.
 

Talk about a true leader for an entire army of morons. I do believe we have found him.
I'm sure that staying sober to try to remove that journalistic bomb from my memory will be futile.
 

Looks as though he used his pancake face to type.


I bet the keyboard is slippery rather then sticky.
 

@pfah...

deal. i'll bring the booze and some sort of cracker/cheese dish.

seems fitting, no?



and
@mr. white...

"His name cannot be said by mortal humans, because each syllable is a howl of anguish unknown to you. However, "Xyqztazay" is a close approximation."

total brilliance. enough said.
 

for everyone's convenience, I've written a translation to this guys rambling:



I do not require female companionship. Most of the time, the women in my life migrate away, much like birds do in the winter. I doubt that there are any women out there worthy of my companionship.
I often ask myself, “Why am I labeled a player?” I am young, aesthetically pleasing, and enjoy conversing with others. It’s inevitable that women will contact me on MySpace, a multi-billion dollar revenue producing website that allows the young women to find me. If you do not like this page’s contents, then I urge you to leave promptly. You are not receiving payment for masturbating to my pictures.

I was born on April 4th, making my astrology sign Aries, which most astrology texts describe as typically arrogant, stubborn, but also caring. And did I mention I have a prowess for lovemaking?
I am an independent person and truly feel that I require no one else in my life. I have done everything on my own, including paying for everything, with no help from others. Do not assume that just because I have money I am spoiled.

My hobbies include watching movies, boxing, sexual intercourse, building wealth, consuming alcoholic beverages, hiking, and music. I’d like to emphasize that I really enjoy building wealth. I also like watching NFL Football, in particular, the Dallas Cowboys.
Also, I am what some consider a “Rock Star”. I don’t mean in the literal sense. It is a term used for someone who does cocaine on a regular basis. I typically consume it 7 days a week, but I do it responsibly. My personality can be very random at times, often to the dismay of those around me. I enjoy pizza but it must be cooked thoroughly. I love the warm, sunny environment at the beach, but I also enjoy the cold, silent comforts of winter. I enjoy shopping and often purchase the newest and most expensive products. I am not concerned what others have or how commonplace the items I possess are in society. I have never been one to follow trends, I merely purchase what I think compliments my style.
I like a wide variety of music. I don’t like it when others verbally accost me, or look at me in a manner that seems challenging. In conclusion, my philosophy is that “What goes around, comes around”.
 

Ok - let it be known that I no longer am a fan of the Dallas Cowboys and I like my pizza "rare".
Also for those of you that want to know how I will be making my move this summer, it will be done using all hefty bags - I no longer "box". That is all.

Scrote Von Douchemarck

PS - Has anybody seen the Imitrex?
 

"Well done pizza" you damn straight playa... and LOTS of it by the looks of things... and by things I mean your gut home skillet.

- Douchey Smurf
 

@ BCS


you obviously have come into posession of the Douchetta Stone!
 

@bcs....thank you brother. thank you.

think about how much more tolerable his original post would have been, had it been written in this manner. your work is much appreciated friend.

additionally, blowout.
 

"IM A VERY RANDOM PERSON 2 I WILL MAKE PPL GO NUTS I LOVE PIZZA HAS TO BE WELLDONE I LOVE THE BEACH BUT SOMETIMES I LOVE THE SNOW!?!"

The beach and sometimes the snow....I'm going fucking nuts. And is that a question "snow!?!"?
I can't get my head around this....I am going absolutely nuts. He's right.

And what does well done pizza have to do with the climate?

Indeed you chubby pig face, you have made people go nuts.
 

Un-douchin-believable, over 60 comments and not the first word about Douche's two notts in the pic with him. He doesn't need nothin', except for his Aunts to put on their 1990's party attire and pose with him.

Is this Judd Nelson's twin brother, Jedd?

IFYM
 

Literacy,

It's not for douches anymore.
 

blondie on the right looks do able.
The one on the left has that potential balloon up factor going for her. Oh hell, I'd hit them both!
 

While reading this modern day Shakespearean soliloquy from code orange here Im reminded of another brilliant quote.

its by Richard Burton in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"

"The Ants Will Take Over The World"..

Thus Spake Zaradouchestra
 

a star is born...this guy's material will carry him to the top a la HJBBAD
 

"ALSO AWESOME IN BED"

We're going to need some independent verification on that, flatnuts. Female verification.

dad's nads
 

My IQ just dropped.

Damn. How many F's are in WTF?

Crucifixtion is too good for this bag.
 

OuLiPo be damned.

the greatest mind of the douchestructionists has arrived.
 

But the questions remains:

IS THERE ANY GOOD ONES OUT THERE

At least I think that's a question. Sometimes it's hard to tell without puncuation.
 

Keep it real, Chief Wiggum.
 

"I WAS BORN ON APRIL 4TH SO YEA IM AN ARIES"

.:THUD:.

Same here - pardon me while I retch.....

Phyllis Diller called and wants her hairstyle to stop being used by douchebags. She's tired of being the "Judy Garland of the scrote world."
 

LOL, Random acts of a ton of stupid in a very short period of time. Imagine this jackoff and DNA Dan runnin in a pack together.
Turdacious
 

Good in bed?..he must know sign language..wonder what "ohh yeah baby right there, don't grip to hard" looks like in sign language.
Turdacious
 

Sorry for leaving this post in the monthly vote comment box.

Consulting the DSM-IV: Bipolar I Disorder is defined as one or more manic episodes.
Manic symptoms include irritability, anger or rage, delusions, hypersensitivity, hypersexuality, hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, impulsiveness, racing thoughts, talkativeness, pressure to keep talking or rapid speech, and grandiose ideas and plans.
He doesnt need a bitch, he needs lithium.
 

oops sorry, wrong comment thread...

How bout BRA FTW!!
 

He forgot some shit:

"I DONT NEED KNOW PUNKCHEWATION IM MY OWN SELF AN SH*T SO F*CK YAW"

"AN SO WHATS I CANT EVR GET IT UP MAYBE IT CUZ YOURE A LEZBO OR YOUR PUSSYS TWO WIDE"

"IM A PLAYER AND I PLAY FOR THE ORANGE TEAM SO WHAT YOU KNOW YOUD LIKE TO BE LIKE ME AND SPORT THE PUMKIN DOME"

"DO ANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE LIKE EMPTY INSIDE AND SHIT WITH NO THINKIN GOIN ON IN THE CRAYNEOM I DO AND ITS LIKE THINKING WHATS THAT ITS ALL QUIET IN HERE"

Take a basic English class you Jersey-tard douche!
 

Pole smoker...
 

i think that is a photo of him and his sisters.
 

I was trying to think of some witty things to say, but if this shithead's douche grandeur has to be explained any further, you just don't get it. Classic, classic 'Bag free verse.
 

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
 

He makes me want to die.
 

@bcs

lot of money in being a francophile douche-lator?

I mean crazy I RUN CONNECTICUT "MONEY"...

It was something I considered studying, but I sold out for a Medieval literature-hungarian language dual degree...
cha-ching!
 

That's gotta be the greatest run-on sentence I've ever read. It's as if he's trying to sound dumb. And he certainly does it with enthusiasm.

Poetry indeed.
 

How about some subtlety there pal? Guys who talk big ain't so big. Catch my drift Pablo?
 

“I am fluent in over six million forms of communication; I am not familiar with this one, Sir..."
 

while this is brilliant, it only makes me long for more of the true poetic master of myspace misogny, the great He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks. Please someone find more of that guy!
 

Bust out the power drill - it's time to drill out my brains again. Ouch, DB1, you really gotta slap lobotomy warnings on some of these.
 

I hate medium rare pizza. He's right, it must be welll done.
 

He deserves the HoS just like his brother, He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks. they went to the poetry school together.
 

The photo is like a fat Joey Porsche, while the verbal scat poetry is all HJBBAD. The perfect combination of brains and brawn, if you will.

Is it possible, someone has finally created the world's ultimate douche?
 

I only saw one other reference in the thread to "He just bangs bitches and drinks," which was surprising as he was the first to come to mind reading this dribble. I'd love to get these 2 together for some academic olympics - and mabe a lesson or 2 in the usage of punctuation, the humble period, for instance. It seems they both think in verbal diarrhea; can't imagine a "convo" with them.....
 

Is this Jean Claud Van Damme's illegitimane orange son?
 

Check it out; I found another picture of him:

http://www.fantascienza.com/cinema/pianeta-delle-scimmie/media/Planet.jpg
 

http://realworldcasting.mtv.com/people/davemillz
 

Oompa prompas' mentor?
 

@anon 3:43
good find, more useless dribble from a guy who loves his hair.
A caring guy who refers to women as bitches.
Turdacious
 

Nevermind - I thought of something.

This pukeface is a semen-quaffing assclown. It would be a shame if a prickly pear cactus were to find its way into his anus, but what can you do.

He's just the kind of misogynist, narcissistic whore that HCwDB was created to brutally mock and vilify. He calls women bitches, claims not to need them, then poses with them in pictures. So, again I ask - who are the women that hang out with turds like this?!!?
 

HDNNBIHL is living proof that we're all about two, three years from speaking that weird hybrid language from Blade Runner.

Also, he looks like a douche version of Sean from The Spits.
 

"I HATE WHEN LIL FAGETS RUN THIER MOUTH WHEN YOU SEE THEM TURN THERE HEADS"

Although he misspelled it, at least he meant to use the right "their." Once.
 

MOST OF THE TIME THEY COME AND GO MORE LIKE THE BIRDS IN THE WINTER

Take heart. Soon or a later you will meet the right oneee.
 

He likes "BOX"? Does that mean books? Surely not.
 

Thanks for the translation, bcs. My brain froze up and shut down in the third paragraph. Fortunately gravity did its part and my head slumping forward and banging into the desk top jolted me back to life.

Also he has that OJ look about him, so I'm guessing the two hotts will be decapitated within a week.
 

I just love the part about the birds in the winter, I'm almost positive he wrote the whole thing, decided he would want to nail some sensitive chicks to and added that bit.
 

Stay gold Ponyboy.Stay gold
 

NOT WHITE?
 

'idiocracy' has surely taken place already.

~buttfuckers~
 

Mr. Douche, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent splurge were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. We award you uber douche points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 

HALL! OF! SCROTE!
HALL! OF! SCROTE!
HALL! OF! SCROTE!
HALL! OF! SCROTE!
 

He likes to hold convos. Milk snorted out my nose a little when I read that.
 

It's sort of like the opposite of e.e. cummings. By that I mean, illiterate.
 

Fucking illiterate morons with lap pinkies shouldn't have the privilege of wasting our oxygen.
 

Probably a Yankees fan, too.
 

Good call Blair, you proles clearly do not understand that we are in the presence of greatness. EE Cummings was mocked in his time for his unconventional capitalization and rhythm. Now we are graced with a wordsmith on par with Milton, Yeats and Longfellow and you disparage him?
Compare:

(a moon swims out of a cloud
a clock strikes midnight
a finger pulls a trigger
a bird flies into a mirror)

to:

BY THE WAY IM A ROCKSTAR WANNA SEE IF YOU CAN PARTY HARDER DOUBT IT 7 DAYS A WEEK BABY BUT IM CIVIL AND RESPONSIBLE SO DONT GET IT TWISTED

I DARE you to tell me which one is Mr. Cummings and which one is our no-neck friend here. Genius is only appreciated in death my friend.
 

Sweet baby christmas.

In what sort of soulless, dystopian wasteland is a ham-necked bridge troll like this allowed access to a keyboard? It's as if random words were being pulled from a hat by a spider monkey and then loosely held together in sentences by a paste of its own filth. Diarrhetic blathering like this should be quarantined, just like Asian schoolchildren stricken with bird flu or fans of the Bill Engvall show, so that right thinking peoples are not forced to expend the critical life energy required to ignore it.

I pine for this world. PINE, I SAY!!!
 

I think this raises an important question about the women that are attracted to a guy like this...
These two lovely ladies do not appear extremely bleethed to me, but if they are willing to spend any amount of time with a worthless piece of orange scum like this, do you think there is any hope of reintegrating them into civilized society?

Also, more pictures and poetry please! I'm almost positive that this qualifies as an instant Hall of Scrote entrance.
 

HAD to come back and laugh some more on this one! I'll bet this amber-colored floater had to sit in the back of the special ed. class at his faggy lil prep school, staring into space and wondering shit like:

"WHAT THIS NOUN THING IS?"

"WHY GLUE HAVE A COW ON IT BUT IT DON'T TASTE LIKE A STEAK?"

"FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP GOT TO GET THAT BUT THE DUDES ON THE TEAM SEE MY ERECSHUN IN THA SHOWER DAMN"

"TEACHER NEVER HANGS MY PICHERS ON THE WALL AND IT TOOK ME TEN BUCKS AND A BEAT DOWN OF THE KID IN FRONT OF ME TO MAKE GRATE ART HAPPEN TOO"

"I LIKE ORANGE ORANGE IS GOOD WANT TO BE LIKE THE HULK SOME DAY BUT ORANGE"

Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
 

HAD to come back and laugh some more on this one! I'll bet this amber-colored floater had to sit in the back of the special ed. class at his faggy lil prep school, staring into space and wondering shit like:

"WHAT THIS NOUN THING IS?"

"WHY GLUE HAVE A COW ON IT BUT IT DON'T TASTE LIKE A STEAK?"

"FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP GOT TO GET THAT BUT THE DUDES ON THE TEAM SEE MY ERECSHUN IN THA SHOWER DAMN"

"TEACHER NEVER HANGS MY PICHERS ON THE WALL AND IT TOOK ME TEN BUCKS AND A BEAT DOWN OF THE KID IN FRONT OF ME TO MAKE GRATE ART HAPPEN TOO"

"I LIKE ORANGE ORANGE IS GOOD WANT TO BE LIKE THE HULK SOME DAY BUT ORANGE"

Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
 

"I NEVER FOLLOWED THE TREND. THAT'S WHY I HAVE A MYSPACE PAGE."
 

after viewing his myspace page (just long enough so my cerebellum didn't completely liquify) i am starting to reconsider genocide as an option....

seriously, people like this have no reason to exist...
 

Been there, douched that.



http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB4095-790391.jpg
 

Beautiful baleful bile blast, Baron; bravo.

That made me hork phlegm onto my monitor and weep a little. For the future. I wish there wasn't one now.
 

i like him, he sounds like fun.
 

perfect scrotambic douchetameter.
 

Douche....

It's what plants crave!!!

Ack!
 

Darwin help us.
 

Wow.

Just... wow.

Oh, and the "glue has a cow on it but don't taste like steak" comment? Absolutely priceless.

But, to be honest now... We can't really be angry at our young orange friend here. It's pretty clear to me that they allowed him out of the ward for a 15-minute computer break, which he prompty used to type up everything that came to mind.

Afterwards, I assume that he'll be busy screaming for the eyes coming out of the padded walls to go away. Or gnawing on the steel bars on his small window.

And as for the two young women with him? Probably his cousins, coming to take a picture with him for bragging rights at school.

"See, I TOLD you I had a crazy cousin stuck in the insane asylum! He looks normal, but he's on his pills in this one. Look, in this one, you can see him eating a toilet plunger..."
 

Those chicks are fucking HAGS.

~Douchesquire
 

He's the lyrical Gator
 

That has to be the longest run-on sentence ever.

Deuche Baggilo
 

@ Douche Quixote, this must be e.e. cumgarglings, and I'd like to see what a Nipponized bit of the old 6th Avenue El would do to the top of his head. Probably bounce off the hair gel, but it's worth a try!
 

I actually felt and could hear the whistling sound, followed by a sickening thud, of my IQ dropping after reading that idiot's message.

- el doucharchi
 

THAT WAS F!@KING POETRYYY A REAL WORK OF ART, BABYYY
 

@Anon 7:40

"Brawndouche" - it's got elechoadlytes!
 

I love Pablo Neruda and I do have a sense of humor, but daaaamn this guy is "Ode to douchebag." Pablo never wrote that one.
 

This cant' be real. I think it's the post of the century.
 

I'm going to cut out my tongue and break all my fingers. Like, right now.

The English language has just been rendered worthless for the rest of humanity's existence.
 

This scatalogical chapstick should be talked about in think tanks and discussed in our nation's schools.
 

This guy should have a column in Maxim. Seriously.
 

I honestly don't believe this is a real message. How can a human being that can somehow use a computer express himself in this manner? I am going to start stockpiling weapons and build an underground bunker to await the coming idiot zombie war.
 

I totally believe this is a real message. I smell the Jersey off this guy (likely Drakkar Noir?) The idiocracy is upon us, and this mezzofanook will be the Secretary of State when it happens.
 

OMG!!! Just look at this goomba. He even wears a chain, just to lend an extra level of authenticity.
 

6 inches of underwear from the April collection of baggetry no?