Monday, May 19, 2008
HCwDB of the Month
Here it is, folks. The Monthly smackdown. The moment when the best/worst of the hott/douche square off in a winner-take-all greasefest. But while your humble narrator all things vulvic/horrific, The DB1 is recovering from his own weekend of hott saving and douche mocking, now is your chance to step in and render a verdict.
Which of these four couplings are toxic enough to be called HCwDB of the Month? Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: The Canker Twins
Having bested (worsted?) the surrealist dada photographic masterpiece that is Still Life with Coors Light, The Canker Twins are bringing their dual-douche power to the Monthly.
Sure the hotts are douchebaguettes.
But that tiny one still offers many qualities that I respect deeply on an intellectual and spiritual level.
You know you'd sell your second cousin to a kinky postal officer from Kentucky just for the chance to fondle her former accountant's office supplies. Even tatted up post-Rehab Amy Winehouse has a bit of boobuous talent.
But really, the Cankers are the draw. Dual shaved heads? Yeesh.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: Bra!!
Trivia Question: Where did Bra's great grandparents emigrate from?
Answer: Brohemia.
What's Bra's favorite song in "Rent"?
Answer: La Vie Broheme.
Now I know what you're thinking. Bra!! has become iconic in his short time on this site. Not only that, his dual star-tatts and variety of tasty cola beverages, as well as collection of spring break hotts, have already won him a spot in our hallowed Hall of Scrote.
But do not let these facts influence you.
Many in the HoS have gone on to lose a Monthly. Hall of Scroters earn entry for originality and innovation as much as for horrific greasing of the hotts. So is Bra!! a broheim enough to win the Monthly, brosky?
Broheim!! Another Pepsi!!
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #3: Turd Flush
Rarely do humanoid excrements walk among us, but when they do, they pollute the hotts as badly as Turd Flush has.
So we must mock their racoon eyes, sneery sneer and douchey everything.
The slutt hotts are all that is great about a sexually free society, and all that is wrong at the same time.
For that, I love them.
I pledge them my first born.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: Pippy
Who are we kidding?
Pippy has about as much chance of winning the Monthly as Blondie does of going back to school and finishing her Liberal Arts degree.
Not gunna happ'n.
I don't mean to influence the vote, because I actually think Pippy has that noxious "everybag" quality that patrols the clubs and stinks up the universe in the process.
But against Turd Flush, Bra!! and The Canker Twins, even with the uberhottness of Sultry Ski Bunny Perfection, he's got it tough.
She is delightful, though. I would most certainly snowboard over a pack of cute little kitteny kitten wittens in front of a class of horrified third graders just for the chance to get yelled at by her former teacher.
But don't let me sway the voting.
Which of these four is worthy of the Monthly? That, my friends, is up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Which of these four couplings are toxic enough to be called HCwDB of the Month? Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: The Canker Twins
Having bested (worsted?) the surrealist dada photographic masterpiece that is Still Life with Coors Light, The Canker Twins are bringing their dual-douche power to the Monthly.
Sure the hotts are douchebaguettes.
But that tiny one still offers many qualities that I respect deeply on an intellectual and spiritual level.
You know you'd sell your second cousin to a kinky postal officer from Kentucky just for the chance to fondle her former accountant's office supplies. Even tatted up post-Rehab Amy Winehouse has a bit of boobuous talent.
But really, the Cankers are the draw. Dual shaved heads? Yeesh.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: Bra!!
Trivia Question: Where did Bra's great grandparents emigrate from?
Answer: Brohemia.
What's Bra's favorite song in "Rent"?
Answer: La Vie Broheme.
Now I know what you're thinking. Bra!! has become iconic in his short time on this site. Not only that, his dual star-tatts and variety of tasty cola beverages, as well as collection of spring break hotts, have already won him a spot in our hallowed Hall of Scrote.
But do not let these facts influence you.
Many in the HoS have gone on to lose a Monthly. Hall of Scroters earn entry for originality and innovation as much as for horrific greasing of the hotts. So is Bra!! a broheim enough to win the Monthly, brosky?
Broheim!! Another Pepsi!!
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #3: Turd Flush
Rarely do humanoid excrements walk among us, but when they do, they pollute the hotts as badly as Turd Flush has.
So we must mock their racoon eyes, sneery sneer and douchey everything.
The slutt hotts are all that is great about a sexually free society, and all that is wrong at the same time.
For that, I love them.
I pledge them my first born.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: Pippy
Who are we kidding?
Pippy has about as much chance of winning the Monthly as Blondie does of going back to school and finishing her Liberal Arts degree.
Not gunna happ'n.
I don't mean to influence the vote, because I actually think Pippy has that noxious "everybag" quality that patrols the clubs and stinks up the universe in the process.
But against Turd Flush, Bra!! and The Canker Twins, even with the uberhottness of Sultry Ski Bunny Perfection, he's got it tough.
She is delightful, though. I would most certainly snowboard over a pack of cute little kitteny kitten wittens in front of a class of horrified third graders just for the chance to get yelled at by her former teacher.
But don't let me sway the voting.
Which of these four is worthy of the Monthly? That, my friends, is up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Comments:
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This is a tough month of douche like competition. Never have so many been so douchey in...you know what I mean.
Has to be Bra FTW.
Has to be Bra FTW.
# posted by 
: 7:09 AM
: 7:09 AM
I don't really get all the Bra love that some of the 'bag hunters here seem to have caught. If the Canker Twins had actual hotts, they would win hands down. As it stands, I have to go with the Flush. He is abhorrent.
As much as i subliminally know bra is gonna take this trophy to the pool and give it a noogie whilst dunking it, Im very consciously aware of the fact that turd flush is getting away with poo murder - much as when a poo escapes the confines of the bowl without so much as a flush.
# posted by : 7:14 AM
: 7:14 AM
i originally voted against bra because i had only viewed this picture. while his face was douchey, his shirtlessness was excusable because he was by a pool. plus i thought dna dan was epic douche.
but, after reviewing bra's complete body of work...his elevated beverages and most disturbing...his neon yellow male camel toe...bra ftw.
but, after reviewing bra's complete body of work...his elevated beverages and most disturbing...his neon yellow male camel toe...bra ftw.
Gotta be Bra, broski. Bra is brawesome. Plus, the little bunny wunny with him looks like something I could get behind.
Cankers are latinos they think this normal attire.
Flush thinks he's a rocker, and has to dress like that.
Pippy, yes he is scornworthy, but Bra is having fun with his doucheness. He just want to tap ass, and drink soda.
Cankers are latinos they think this normal attire.
Flush thinks he's a rocker, and has to dress like that.
Pippy, yes he is scornworthy, but Bra is having fun with his doucheness. He just want to tap ass, and drink soda.
# posted by : 7:20 AM
: 7:20 AM
This is by far the hardest Monthly ever! I voted for all four of these in the weekly's. Turd flush has made me sick to my stomach, Pippy has made me angry and Bra has amused me........I think anger is the most apropriate emotion when choosing a monthly. I mean, isnt that what this site was made for? (trashing the douches that anger us just by being alive?) So in conclusion after reflecting while writing this, my gut goes with PIPPY bucause his poo face makes me angry, enough said
# posted by : 7:26 AM
: 7:26 AM
The brosky pic under hall of scrote is not the same guy as the rest. This turd has a side tat and clearly the true Bra does not. His bicep star is also closer to the armpit than Bra's
# posted by : 7:34 AM
: 7:34 AM
Broseph!
I have seldom seen anyone embrace unbridled scrotebaggery the way Bra does. While the other three contenders make valiant efforts to mask their lack of communal worth through the facade of meaninglessness, the mocking contempt with which Bra pulls off the quintessence of the douche belies a force heretofore unseen on this site. It would be a crime to vote against such a raging maelstrom of scroticity. While his Hott is nothing special, in conjunction with the vast void created by the presence of the uberdouche, Bra wins hands down. Bra is that to which the other three aspire. Bra is the very embodiment of the ideal we as an anti-douche community vilify on a daily basis. However, Bra's perfection of the breed causes us to pause and realize the true breadth of the concepts captured by the meaning of the words "douche" and "scrote"; in Bra's presence, it is as if all prior uses of these two words were wasted as pearls before swine, for he is the only one fit for their intent. This monthly is just not fair for the other three. Bra's rank in the douchal hierarchy renders the other contenders impotent and child-like in the shadow of his scrototypical radiance of doucheility. Go in peace, Bra; for you have provided me endless laughter this month, from your broheim to mine.
Viva La Revolucion
I have seldom seen anyone embrace unbridled scrotebaggery the way Bra does. While the other three contenders make valiant efforts to mask their lack of communal worth through the facade of meaninglessness, the mocking contempt with which Bra pulls off the quintessence of the douche belies a force heretofore unseen on this site. It would be a crime to vote against such a raging maelstrom of scroticity. While his Hott is nothing special, in conjunction with the vast void created by the presence of the uberdouche, Bra wins hands down. Bra is that to which the other three aspire. Bra is the very embodiment of the ideal we as an anti-douche community vilify on a daily basis. However, Bra's perfection of the breed causes us to pause and realize the true breadth of the concepts captured by the meaning of the words "douche" and "scrote"; in Bra's presence, it is as if all prior uses of these two words were wasted as pearls before swine, for he is the only one fit for their intent. This monthly is just not fair for the other three. Bra's rank in the douchal hierarchy renders the other contenders impotent and child-like in the shadow of his scrototypical radiance of doucheility. Go in peace, Bra; for you have provided me endless laughter this month, from your broheim to mine.
Viva La Revolucion
# posted by : 7:38 AM
: 7:38 AM
This is nowhere near as tough as the Deathtongue monthly vote, but it's still pretty impressive.
I love a chick with well drawn tattoos, not hepatitis. So the Canker Twins can keep padding their bouncer resumes and shave another line in their heads so people know how old they are.
Turd Flush just looks dirty and sleepy. Maybe if he takes a nap he'll form a scrotal cocoon and then hatch as a butterfly. Or maybe he'll suffocate. I'll take either.
I still think Pippy is playing in the Single A independent 'Bag league. He's a long way from being called up to the big league.
Bra, though. Never has a 'Bag done so much with so little and said so much by saying nothing.
Bra indeed and we will see him at the yearly I pray.
I love a chick with well drawn tattoos, not hepatitis. So the Canker Twins can keep padding their bouncer resumes and shave another line in their heads so people know how old they are.
Turd Flush just looks dirty and sleepy. Maybe if he takes a nap he'll form a scrotal cocoon and then hatch as a butterfly. Or maybe he'll suffocate. I'll take either.
I still think Pippy is playing in the Single A independent 'Bag league. He's a long way from being called up to the big league.
Bra, though. Never has a 'Bag done so much with so little and said so much by saying nothing.
Bra indeed and we will see him at the yearly I pray.
# posted by : 7:40 AM
: 7:40 AM
This Bra!! picture is by far the best. I love the way he is ordering up another pepsi like it makes him cool to show everyone how much pepsi he can drink. While others may be worse, there can be only one Bra!!
I vote Bra!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!
I vote Bra!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!
# posted by : 7:43 AM
: 7:43 AM
It has to be Bra all the way, everytime I look at that picture I just want to pick up the computer and throw it into the wall. If I ever meet that f**k I would love to smack him around with a bag full of human waste, just so he knows how we feel when we are forced to look at him.
# posted by : 7:44 AM
: 7:44 AM
Sorry, Broheim. Turd Flush is easily the most diseased of these four. Drown your sorrows in a Mr. Pibb big gulp.
I gotta vote for Pippy for the following 2 reasons:
1. He's the underdog...
2. Most importantly, because he's the one I want to punch in the face the most!
1. He's the underdog...
2. Most importantly, because he's the one I want to punch in the face the most!
# posted by : 7:45 AM
: 7:45 AM
I gotta go for Bra! While he is not over the top with eye shadow and the other sorts of Bagclownery we like to mock, he is truly the essence of douche we first learned to mock. Like Pippy, he is everydouche.
# posted by : 7:47 AM
: 7:47 AM
Bra' just reeks of uberdoucheness.
A frat bag, a douchebag, whateverbag, hes a freakin bag.
A frat bag, a douchebag, whateverbag, hes a freakin bag.
# posted by : 7:49 AM
: 7:49 AM
I agree with douchemi. This Bra!! pic is the best in his series. He's showing off the profile view of the hallowed douchesmirk. That's rare. Most of them are straight-on.
Pippy is too plain to win my vote. The DB1 is right, he is an everybag, not that there's anything wrong with that, but he ain't gonna win a coveted trophy like the HCwDB Monthly.
Turd Flush - I'm not sure he's human. Well, he is with one of the Lei Hotties (btw - the brunette Lei Hottie rivals Deathtongue's girl in my book). Still, he's more turd than human.
Ah, the Canker Twins. Douchey? Yes. Uberscrotey? Yes. Major Choads? Yes. Speaka English? Not sure.
I gotta go with Bra!! As yet another spring semester comes to a close, Bra!! looks ahead to summer classes while representing the good ol' fratdouche as well as anyone before him. To eliminate the smirks, hand gestures, and Pepsis would be to break his code of honor: Douche first, everything else second. Bra!! for the win. And by win, I mean missing swim trunks.
Pippy is too plain to win my vote. The DB1 is right, he is an everybag, not that there's anything wrong with that, but he ain't gonna win a coveted trophy like the HCwDB Monthly.
Turd Flush - I'm not sure he's human. Well, he is with one of the Lei Hotties (btw - the brunette Lei Hottie rivals Deathtongue's girl in my book). Still, he's more turd than human.
Ah, the Canker Twins. Douchey? Yes. Uberscrotey? Yes. Major Choads? Yes. Speaka English? Not sure.
I gotta go with Bra!! As yet another spring semester comes to a close, Bra!! looks ahead to summer classes while representing the good ol' fratdouche as well as anyone before him. To eliminate the smirks, hand gestures, and Pepsis would be to break his code of honor: Douche first, everything else second. Bra!! for the win. And by win, I mean missing swim trunks.
Those who have made it into the hall of scrote have been consistent and possess the uncanny ability to either make me scorn my own species for bringing forth such an abomination or laugh at the comical character/attire they claim to be/wear.
this monthly possesses both consistency in Bra! and shame of my species in Turd Flush. I am torn between the two. Yet there can be only one, and my vote goes to Turd Flush as an apology to the world for allowing such a creature to walk among us and claim such slutt/hotts
this monthly possesses both consistency in Bra! and shame of my species in Turd Flush. I am torn between the two. Yet there can be only one, and my vote goes to Turd Flush as an apology to the world for allowing such a creature to walk among us and claim such slutt/hotts
# posted by : 7:55 AM
: 7:55 AM
Wow, that is quite an ASSassins Row in this month's selection. I have sung the praises of Douche Twins and Turd-ific, but I realize now the error of my ways...they are quite craptacular in their own baggy ways, but their Hotts are lost, like the wrappers down the drain in a strong rain...and Im not the guy to pull them out of the muck and mire...none of them are salvageable, just let them rot in their own self-inflicted shame.
Thus, upon second inspection, it is clear...as Colonel Kurtz said in Apocalypse Now:
And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres.
This is PIPPY, in all of his bag perfection...the gear, the sneer, and the qualifying hott...
I have finally seen the light, and its from an arrogant prick who is nothing but his douchy condescending self...and a fine lady to boot.
Thus, upon second inspection, it is clear...as Colonel Kurtz said in Apocalypse Now:
And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres.
This is PIPPY, in all of his bag perfection...the gear, the sneer, and the qualifying hott...
I have finally seen the light, and its from an arrogant prick who is nothing but his douchy condescending self...and a fine lady to boot.
# posted by : 7:56 AM
: 7:56 AM
Another write in for DNA Dan. His single helix has baffled the scientific community in much the same way all the love Bra gets here has baffled me. Is Bra a retarded fratboy? - Yes! Does Bra exude douchebag in the same ways as FishSlap and the venerable Gator? Not even close. DNA Dan was shirtless in a fucking club - how does that not land one in the monthly? I am appalled.
Scrote Von Douchemarck
Scrote Von Douchemarck
# posted by : 7:57 AM
: 7:57 AM
I'd like to start by saying that Pippy's Hott is Everything I need on a Monday morning. Sadly for Pippy though, she won't carry him to the lofty vacancy that only the 'Bag of the Month can occupy.
That being said, I will now cast my vote...for Bra. He is the only one with enough douchery and salvageable hott about him. And by douchery, I mean douche face, shirtlessness, bracelets, and Pepsi (what a puss). And by douche face, I mean one of the most depressing I've ever seen
Props to both the oily reptilian Turd Flush and the festering Cankers, but their hotts surely have lives of nothing but bad single parenting and snotty 'baglets ahead of them.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
That being said, I will now cast my vote...for Bra. He is the only one with enough douchery and salvageable hott about him. And by douchery, I mean douche face, shirtlessness, bracelets, and Pepsi (what a puss). And by douche face, I mean one of the most depressing I've ever seen
Props to both the oily reptilian Turd Flush and the festering Cankers, but their hotts surely have lives of nothing but bad single parenting and snotty 'baglets ahead of them.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 7:58 AM
: 7:58 AM
No way, not Bra, he's just a partier, no douchitude at all compared to the Canker Twins...hell, their girls are douches too, and the douche off to the side. Ne'er have I seen more douchitude in a single photograph with the possible axception of Mayerdouche.
I mean, the hair styles, the stupid toughguys looks...and that's just the girls...
If anyone besides the Canker Twins wins the monthly it will be a complete and total miscarraige of douchetice.
I mean, the hair styles, the stupid toughguys looks...and that's just the girls...
If anyone besides the Canker Twins wins the monthly it will be a complete and total miscarraige of douchetice.
# posted by : 7:59 AM
: 7:59 AM
While Bra is most definitely an uberdouche, at some point in his life he may be able to pass for a semi-normal member of society. The Canker Twins however...no way. They are all that is unholy and diseased. If I saw them on a riding mower cutting my lawn, I'd lead them for a brief second before ventilating them with enough 30 aught six to bring down a 1,000 lb buck.
Cankers FTW.
Cankers FTW.
# posted by : 8:03 AM
: 8:03 AM
I've gotta say Pippy. Pippy is the guy at the club who gets the non-Bleethed girl. And the hotts in the other pictures, well... I don't think that they're up to par compared to Pippy's. If I see a total douchebag with someone like Blondie there, that'd piss me off a lot more than Bra's hott or the others. While all of the guys make me want to punch them, seeing Pippy would make me want to explain why EVERYONE else in the club should punch him. And I could steal his hott...
# posted by : 8:09 AM
: 8:09 AM
The difference between all of the nominees and Bra is that Bra is a natural. He does not realize he is being a douche. His father never gave him The Talk about the Birds and the Bags.
When Bra sees his pictures on this site, he will be embarrassed, but he will also see it as a compliment. Kind of like telling your sister-in-law she has a nice ass on the off chance you'll get a threesome.
My vote goes to Bra, for being a professional among amateurs.
When Bra sees his pictures on this site, he will be embarrassed, but he will also see it as a compliment. Kind of like telling your sister-in-law she has a nice ass on the off chance you'll get a threesome.
My vote goes to Bra, for being a professional among amateurs.
# posted by : 8:10 AM
: 8:10 AM
Each one of these "Special people" contribute to the disturbing underbelly of slime and all things that are scrotey. Other then Bra I'm not sure any of them have been viewed in daylight. They are creatures of another planet or atleast some unguarded toilet that they managed to crawl out of.
Bra ftw.
Bra ftw.
# posted by : 8:17 AM
: 8:17 AM
Brosephus! Broski! Bra! His gravity pulls my vote in despite not being one of the more malicious douches in the Monthly. The spectrum of scrote runs from red hot to the cool blue, just like Bra's dual star tats. Bookmarks to the many shades of Bra!
I'm with Mitch Meat. I still don't get the Bra!! thing. Except that it is incredibly fun to say "bra" and "broheim".
His girl, in this pic, doesn't really do it for me either.
I have to go with the Canker Twins. Because if I saw them outside of a club or springbreak I would still say "Holy shit, check out those douchebags."
And I love their post-apocolyptic Amazonian bleeths. They make me want to survive the nuclear holocaust just to repopulate Southern California with them.
Canker FTW
His girl, in this pic, doesn't really do it for me either.
I have to go with the Canker Twins. Because if I saw them outside of a club or springbreak I would still say "Holy shit, check out those douchebags."
And I love their post-apocolyptic Amazonian bleeths. They make me want to survive the nuclear holocaust just to repopulate Southern California with them.
Canker FTW
# posted by : 8:30 AM
: 8:30 AM
this is a difficult Monthly to vote in.
Canker Twins, Bra, Turd Flush, and Pippy.
Canker Twins are out because there are no hotts in the picture. anywhere. Pippy's out because he lacks accoutremon. Bra has given us much material to support a nod in his direction, but there's just something more douchey about Turd Flush. Bra is the quintessential frat choad and completely worthy of the HoS. Turd Flush, on the other hand, is a greasy, club-loving douchebag and visually sums up everything HCwDBs is about. and therefore, in this Monthly, my vote is for him.
Turd Flush.
LA was hot this weekend.
Canker Twins, Bra, Turd Flush, and Pippy.
Canker Twins are out because there are no hotts in the picture. anywhere. Pippy's out because he lacks accoutremon. Bra has given us much material to support a nod in his direction, but there's just something more douchey about Turd Flush. Bra is the quintessential frat choad and completely worthy of the HoS. Turd Flush, on the other hand, is a greasy, club-loving douchebag and visually sums up everything HCwDBs is about. and therefore, in this Monthly, my vote is for him.
Turd Flush.
LA was hot this weekend.
# posted by : 8:30 AM
: 8:30 AM
I'm going with anon 7:41 and joining the write-in campaign for DNA Dan. DNA Dan would crush all of these douches with his mighty, club-like fists--mostly because I don't think he can use his opposable thumbs like the rest of us. All the while, he would be furrowing his brow with confusion and drooling. And speaking of drooling, I liked his librarian hott. A lot.
DNA Dan for the win! Down with Bra! Viva la revolucion!
DNA Dan for the win! Down with Bra! Viva la revolucion!
Bra, bra.
He was a high school cliquebag, then a fratbag, now he has devolved even further.
He was a high school cliquebag, then a fratbag, now he has devolved even further.
# posted by : 8:43 AM
: 8:43 AM
The flush is wearing sunglasses... in a club... on his freakin' mandana!
This picture gives an opportunity for a three-staged Freudian analysis of all that is douche. The Ray-Bandanaed super-ego represents all the douche wishes to be. The face represents the ego which, in Frued's terms, is that which has been modified by direct influence in the world, i.e. the poo that he is. Finally we confront the beady necklaces, residence of the primal id, where hottie hot tongues give rise to all urges.
The flush must win, if only for his iconic pedagogical value.
~ Soren Kierkedouche
This picture gives an opportunity for a three-staged Freudian analysis of all that is douche. The Ray-Bandanaed super-ego represents all the douche wishes to be. The face represents the ego which, in Frued's terms, is that which has been modified by direct influence in the world, i.e. the poo that he is. Finally we confront the beady necklaces, residence of the primal id, where hottie hot tongues give rise to all urges.
The flush must win, if only for his iconic pedagogical value.
~ Soren Kierkedouche
# posted by : 8:44 AM
: 8:44 AM
Bra! Seriously dude, I rocked the weekly Bra, but the bitches man, they be doggin me sayin', "Bra-baby, I won't love the star tats unless you can show me the monthly. Peaches is on speed dial" I don't know who this ass pimple Peaches is Bra, but we gotta give him some tickets to the gun show. Dude, Bra, so here's the plan, win the monthly, Bud Light brews, bang some bitches, then mess up the face of this Peaches. Bras, Bras, Bras, Bras!!!!
# posted by : 8:44 AM
: 8:44 AM
I am actually tempted to vote for Pippy based on largest douche to hot delta and the fact that I want to punch him in the face the most out of any of these people.
But who are we kidding? Bra is quickly becoming a legend.
Bra FTW.
But who are we kidding? Bra is quickly becoming a legend.
Bra FTW.
Bra is the smiling Buddha of Douchbaggery: Where others merely aspire, he simply IS! I imagine if only we could bottle his essence and sell it over the counter-- perhaps along with a monosyllabic self-help guide called The Tao of Bra-- the world would be a happier, less complicated place. Long live Bra!
--Lord Douchinclam III
--Lord Douchinclam III
# posted by : 8:45 AM
: 8:45 AM
@ Pfah 8:30 & DB1 -
Hot? Puh-Leeze. You boys come see me in August. You should see the L.A. architects that came to do field visits in the summer on the museum we're partnered on. I thought they were going to die from heat stroke.
But to be fair, I though I was going to die from heat stroke too.
Think of being locked in your attic on the hottest L.A. day, while Turd Flush, Bra and DNA Dan are in there with you having a steamy attic shower.
It's like that here. But not so gay.
Maybe a little gay.
Hot? Puh-Leeze. You boys come see me in August. You should see the L.A. architects that came to do field visits in the summer on the museum we're partnered on. I thought they were going to die from heat stroke.
But to be fair, I though I was going to die from heat stroke too.
Think of being locked in your attic on the hottest L.A. day, while Turd Flush, Bra and DNA Dan are in there with you having a steamy attic shower.
It's like that here. But not so gay.
Maybe a little gay.
4th - Pippy. Just your average 'bag. Nice hott, but no special rage inducing qualities here.
3rd - Canker Twins. Any other week a strong contender. Copycat scrote haircuts are major league, but the disease wafting from the "hotts" makes me want to get a shot of penicillin after looking at this picture just to be on the safe side.
Which leaves us with 2 examples of major league choadness. Bra!! with the hand gestures and bizarre lips. Turd flush looking like the living dead and sporting a hott where it looks like the roofie is kicking in real strong.
For me there are two deciding factors. The first is that Turd Flush, in addition to being a douchebag of massive proportions also has some obviously defective chromosomes causing physical mutation. Bra!! has no such excuse. As George Thorogood once said he is 'bag to the bone.
The second is the quality of the hotts. While Turd Flush's girls are at least level 3 Bleeths, Bra!! has one in which I see a glimmer of hope for redemption.
This monthly was "Mad Max Beyond Scroterdome". 4 'bags enter, 1 douche leaves.
Bra!! FTW.
3rd - Canker Twins. Any other week a strong contender. Copycat scrote haircuts are major league, but the disease wafting from the "hotts" makes me want to get a shot of penicillin after looking at this picture just to be on the safe side.
Which leaves us with 2 examples of major league choadness. Bra!! with the hand gestures and bizarre lips. Turd flush looking like the living dead and sporting a hott where it looks like the roofie is kicking in real strong.
For me there are two deciding factors. The first is that Turd Flush, in addition to being a douchebag of massive proportions also has some obviously defective chromosomes causing physical mutation. Bra!! has no such excuse. As George Thorogood once said he is 'bag to the bone.
The second is the quality of the hotts. While Turd Flush's girls are at least level 3 Bleeths, Bra!! has one in which I see a glimmer of hope for redemption.
This monthly was "Mad Max Beyond Scroterdome". 4 'bags enter, 1 douche leaves.
Bra!! FTW.
# posted by : 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
So if I pass any of these choads in a bar, what happens?
The twins, I just give them a "WTF?" second glance and then be on my way. Their Bleeths do nothing for me, and they're too rediculous for my emotional investment.
Turd Flush - pretty much the same reaction, although I'd probably walk away actually cheered up from any depression I absorbed that week. "At least I'm not that... guy?"
Pippy would certainly piss me off, but only because at first glance his ski bunny is way out of his league. But then again, with her obvious intelligence issues, why would I want to hang around her for anything but a few rounds in the sack?
And then I walk past Bra. I stop in my tracks. He looks my way and says, "What up, Broheim?". I can't respond because I just swallowed my tongue, so I just stand there gagging. I'm turning red. Not just because I can't breath, but because I'm overcome with so much hatred. This is the kind of jackass that got more attention from the ladies in college than I did. I run over and punch him in the face, thus popping my tongue back into place.
I can breath again.
Bra wins... hands down.
The twins, I just give them a "WTF?" second glance and then be on my way. Their Bleeths do nothing for me, and they're too rediculous for my emotional investment.
Turd Flush - pretty much the same reaction, although I'd probably walk away actually cheered up from any depression I absorbed that week. "At least I'm not that... guy?"
Pippy would certainly piss me off, but only because at first glance his ski bunny is way out of his league. But then again, with her obvious intelligence issues, why would I want to hang around her for anything but a few rounds in the sack?
And then I walk past Bra. I stop in my tracks. He looks my way and says, "What up, Broheim?". I can't respond because I just swallowed my tongue, so I just stand there gagging. I'm turning red. Not just because I can't breath, but because I'm overcome with so much hatred. This is the kind of jackass that got more attention from the ladies in college than I did. I run over and punch him in the face, thus popping my tongue back into place.
I can breath again.
Bra wins... hands down.
# posted by : 8:57 AM
: 8:57 AM
I have a new name for Bra.
Brodo.
Reference to Frodo, and to the fact he holds the ring of powerful douchosity.
And most of all, reference to the italian word "brodo", which means, SOUP.
"quel ragazzo fa BRODO"
Literal translation:
"that guy makes soup"
Translation:
"that guy is a douche".
Ain't that perfect. Also I'm sure Bra is half italian. I feel it.
Dude, Bra, Broheim, Pepsi, Italia, BRODOOOO!!!
Brodo wins. Brodo is the phenomena.
Brodo.
Reference to Frodo, and to the fact he holds the ring of powerful douchosity.
And most of all, reference to the italian word "brodo", which means, SOUP.
"quel ragazzo fa BRODO"
Literal translation:
"that guy makes soup"
Translation:
"that guy is a douche".
Ain't that perfect. Also I'm sure Bra is half italian. I feel it.
Dude, Bra, Broheim, Pepsi, Italia, BRODOOOO!!!
Brodo wins. Brodo is the phenomena.
# posted by : 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
Some stiff competition, but I just can't but vote Bra.
Bra is douche and douche is Bra.
Bra is douche and douche is Bra.
# posted by : 9:08 AM
: 9:08 AM
@darksock....an "attic shower"??? dear god, that sounds horrible. i'm actually on the East coast, but the wife and i were out in LA the past 4 days. good stuff. saw loads of douchebags. it was amazing and educational.
# posted by : 9:14 AM
: 9:14 AM
I'm with the cat that said he didn't understand the phenom that is Bra... other than it's so fun to say, etc.
For sure that kid is a huge douche meathead... and his matching star ink is awesome... and when I say awesome I mean unoriginal.
But let's keep it real... the true battle is between The Cankers and Flush.
And of those two I have to go Canker Twins.
You all might be pleased to know That The Cankers "a.k.a. Him & Roid" are currently in Vegas perfecting their magic show. I'm talking a lot of glittery costumes... male assistants and a lot of loving stares between the next Siegfried and Roy.
These guys are so into their 'magic' that they share a bedroom and practice making things disappear even in the wee hours of the morning. That's called dedication folks.
- Douchey Smurf
For sure that kid is a huge douche meathead... and his matching star ink is awesome... and when I say awesome I mean unoriginal.
But let's keep it real... the true battle is between The Cankers and Flush.
And of those two I have to go Canker Twins.
You all might be pleased to know That The Cankers "a.k.a. Him & Roid" are currently in Vegas perfecting their magic show. I'm talking a lot of glittery costumes... male assistants and a lot of loving stares between the next Siegfried and Roy.
These guys are so into their 'magic' that they share a bedroom and practice making things disappear even in the wee hours of the morning. That's called dedication folks.
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 9:17 AM
: 9:17 AM
@ Pfah:
I was in north Boston all of last week. I didn't see the first damn douchebag, but to be fair I was in either a convention center or overpriced restaurant/bar most of the time. Lots of Celtics and Red Sox fans though. Crazy bahstahds.
I was in north Boston all of last week. I didn't see the first damn douchebag, but to be fair I was in either a convention center or overpriced restaurant/bar most of the time. Lots of Celtics and Red Sox fans though. Crazy bahstahds.
Man, this is a tough month. Three of the four lovely nominees are genuine juggernauts of scrote. While I concur with DB1's assessment of Pippy and his stunning Hott, the first 3 make for an interesting race.
Having given this important decision due consideration [about 45 seconds], I gotta go with Bra!. He is a powerhouse, a choad's choad, a transcendent quasarbag offset by a damn bangable Hottski.
Bra! for the win.
Time for a peanut butter sammich and a sports drink.
Having given this important decision due consideration [about 45 seconds], I gotta go with Bra!. He is a powerhouse, a choad's choad, a transcendent quasarbag offset by a damn bangable Hottski.
Bra! for the win.
Time for a peanut butter sammich and a sports drink.
# posted by : 9:26 AM
: 9:26 AM
I have to go with Bra. Although I am torn. the Canker Twins just make me want to shit on their chests without an explanation of their douchebaggery.
Bra, however, could quite possibly be the douchiest douche thats ever douched. Even though I will never meet this kid, just knowing that he is out there using up precious oxygen that some hott could be sucking in kills me inside.
Bra, however, could quite possibly be the douchiest douche thats ever douched. Even though I will never meet this kid, just knowing that he is out there using up precious oxygen that some hott could be sucking in kills me inside.
# posted by : 9:30 AM
: 9:30 AM
Pippy reminds me of one of those farmers in Braveheart. He had it in his heart, but he wasn't sure if he was douche enough to do battle with the fratchoads and clubskanks. Pippy fought valiantly, and though he fell in battle, he did manage to score a blindingly delicious hott. I would drink melted butter from her navel.
Turd Flush and the Cankers are to be found in their natural environment, where poor lighting and alcohol consumption obscure judgement. They are all surrounded by late stage 4 Bleeths, at one time I'm feeling good that at least one of these ladies has spent time in jail for domestic battery. I also get the feeling that at least one of Turd's hotts has been in porn.
I'm not saying I wouldn't hump them, I'm just saying fondling one of these would be like a male praying mantis at mating season. You just know she's going to cut off your head and eat you later.
By day, the Cankers and Turd and sure to be installing car stereos somewhere.
Which brings us to Bra! He is fratchoad personified. He will buddy you and tell you how cool you are, but you will never be invited to his parties. You will, however, be asked to let him cheat off you in biology. One day Bra! will sell insurance, and possess a small collection of "whacky" neckties.
Bra! FTW.
Turd Flush and the Cankers are to be found in their natural environment, where poor lighting and alcohol consumption obscure judgement. They are all surrounded by late stage 4 Bleeths, at one time I'm feeling good that at least one of these ladies has spent time in jail for domestic battery. I also get the feeling that at least one of Turd's hotts has been in porn.
I'm not saying I wouldn't hump them, I'm just saying fondling one of these would be like a male praying mantis at mating season. You just know she's going to cut off your head and eat you later.
By day, the Cankers and Turd and sure to be installing car stereos somewhere.
Which brings us to Bra! He is fratchoad personified. He will buddy you and tell you how cool you are, but you will never be invited to his parties. You will, however, be asked to let him cheat off you in biology. One day Bra! will sell insurance, and possess a small collection of "whacky" neckties.
Bra! FTW.
# posted by : 9:30 AM
: 9:30 AM
While I am usually constitutionally predisposed to pull for the underdog, I now must admit I'm a huge fan of Bra! for the Monthly.
And by fan I mean that his visage has been seared onto my brain and his win in the Monthly would make me happier than taking a two-flush, no wipe dump (preferably on that smirk of his).
Bra! FTW
And by fan I mean that his visage has been seared onto my brain and his win in the Monthly would make me happier than taking a two-flush, no wipe dump (preferably on that smirk of his).
Bra! FTW
Too many votes for Turd Flush, Flush isn't a douchebag, he, and his girls, are simply strung out methheads...I mean look at 'em, not even fully aware that's a camera in front of them...the eye bags, the strung out look of stupidness.
No douchebag, just a methhead...
No douchebag, just a methhead...
# posted by : 9:35 AM
: 9:35 AM
I cannot rest until I see a douche a douche shirtless face-off between DNA Dan and Bra!. And another shot at librarian hott. The monthly is DNA Dan's birth right. And by birth right I mean birth defect.
# posted by : 9:35 AM
: 9:35 AM
While the other contestants ooze scrote juice so much they want to make me punch a baby. But while they are adorned in the gross regalia of douchebaggery it's all just anaccesory to emphasize their scrotieness.
Bra on the other hand doesn't wear his baggery like a coustume. He wears it like a skin. His baggery is a living organsim that is much a part of him as a kidney.
Bra all the way
Bra on the other hand doesn't wear his baggery like a coustume. He wears it like a skin. His baggery is a living organsim that is much a part of him as a kidney.
Bra all the way
DB1, I really think you need to have everyone look at what true douchebag is, teach a class maybe.
I mean freaks aka Xenu, slimeballs aka turdflush and dirtbags are one thing but Bra is really truly along with Gator and Peaches a master douchebag. you should have a trophy made up with those 3 on it. Bra deserves to be there, That being said it should be a slam dunk for him for the monthly.
Turdacious
I mean freaks aka Xenu, slimeballs aka turdflush and dirtbags are one thing but Bra is really truly along with Gator and Peaches a master douchebag. you should have a trophy made up with those 3 on it. Bra deserves to be there, That being said it should be a slam dunk for him for the monthly.
Turdacious
# posted by : 9:44 AM
: 9:44 AM
I know Bra is the obvious choice, but doesn't Beetlejuice deserve some 'bag consideration? I mean, I know he isn't orange like Bra, but still...
# posted by : 9:50 AM
: 9:50 AM
@darksock
If you saw Red Sox fans, you saw douchebags.
(And I don't say that because I root for a rival team--I don't care about baseball at all.)
If you saw Red Sox fans, you saw douchebags.
(And I don't say that because I root for a rival team--I don't care about baseball at all.)
I understand the "happy-go-lucky" douche thing that so many are against when it comes to Bra!!. I even get how people are amused by Bra!!. But Bra!! inspires a special rage within me.
Sure he may be a goofy guy, all smiles and soft drinks, but don't be fooled. He is the guy who would cock-block you in a New York minute if he saw an opportunity. And he'd follow it up with a "Sorry broheim! Them's the breakskiis!"
He knows what he does. He's got his act down pat. He has perfected the like-able dude thing.
He will make you believe it. And you'd be just another sucker taken for a douche ride.
And I would bet that he knows full well his status on this site, and uses it to try and get laid on a regular basis.
Whatever, I may be totally wrong. Either way, fuck Bra!!, fuck his stupid calculated douchey self straight to hell.
And a bolt-gun to the forehead, just to be sure...
Bra!! FTW.
Sure he may be a goofy guy, all smiles and soft drinks, but don't be fooled. He is the guy who would cock-block you in a New York minute if he saw an opportunity. And he'd follow it up with a "Sorry broheim! Them's the breakskiis!"
He knows what he does. He's got his act down pat. He has perfected the like-able dude thing.
He will make you believe it. And you'd be just another sucker taken for a douche ride.
And I would bet that he knows full well his status on this site, and uses it to try and get laid on a regular basis.
Whatever, I may be totally wrong. Either way, fuck Bra!!, fuck his stupid calculated douchey self straight to hell.
And a bolt-gun to the forehead, just to be sure...
Bra!! FTW.
putting the cankers and pippi in this poll is like bringing weenie forks to a gun fight. Where the guns have stars on them.
I can imagine drawing them on in henna as a joke... but tattoos??? F*ck! Another reason to bring back the draft!
I can imagine drawing them on in henna as a joke... but tattoos??? F*ck! Another reason to bring back the draft!
# posted by : 9:59 AM
: 9:59 AM
As horrendous as Turd Flush is, his lone image is not strong enough to overpower the 'BagChismo that oozes out of Bra's every soda container.
Bra FTM
Bra FTM
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
I have no choice but to go with the one man I wouldn't want to bump into and spill his tasty beverage in fear of having to get a face full of arm star tats. It's Bra. Good luck to you all.
I thought Bra was being made fun of as if he walks around saying things like "bra" and "broheim" and that these words should be eschewed by 'bag hunters. Alas, many of the comments here are celebrating these phrases.
It seems like everyone likes Bra, and that is why they are voting for him. Just as Bra probably won the vote for Student Council President in high school, he is winning the popularity contest here.
I don't really dislike Bra all that much. Yes, he looks like a tool in many of his pictures. Yes, his sense of humor probably consists of quoting "Old School." But he just doesn't seem like that bad of a guy. Plus, I love his love of soda pop.
Turd Flush FTW. He is a real douche. A douche's douche. Accessorizing with the mandana and accessorizing his mandana with sunglasses: that is compound douchedom.
It seems like everyone likes Bra, and that is why they are voting for him. Just as Bra probably won the vote for Student Council President in high school, he is winning the popularity contest here.
I don't really dislike Bra all that much. Yes, he looks like a tool in many of his pictures. Yes, his sense of humor probably consists of quoting "Old School." But he just doesn't seem like that bad of a guy. Plus, I love his love of soda pop.
Turd Flush FTW. He is a real douche. A douche's douche. Accessorizing with the mandana and accessorizing his mandana with sunglasses: that is compound douchedom.
# posted by : 10:30 AM
: 10:30 AM
Gotta go with Bra. Turd Flush comes in a close second, but you can't deny the combination of the star tat and the soda binge drinking.
I lift my Mountain Dew and toast Bra.
Broheim!
I lift my Mountain Dew and toast Bra.
Broheim!
The problem with the Canker Twins is the lack of female hotness.
I vote Pippy. What a dick, and the chick is Heather Graham incarnate.
I vote Pippy. What a dick, and the chick is Heather Graham incarnate.
# posted by : 10:34 AM
: 10:34 AM
@mr white...Ditto. Dark Sock, if you saw Red Sawks fans, you saw douchesox. 96.3% of all DBs featured on this site replied either,
"Yankees, or Red Sox" when asked their favorite team.
Pippy's girl's flat face would fit nicely into the drywall above my headboard. So he gets a mercy vote.
bucket of balls
"Yankees, or Red Sox" when asked their favorite team.
Pippy's girl's flat face would fit nicely into the drywall above my headboard. So he gets a mercy vote.
bucket of balls
# posted by : 10:34 AM
: 10:34 AM
Bra and Pippy are the only real choices here, the chicks in the other two are by no means hot. I want to vote for pippy just to be different, but Bra is that guy that the hot girls at school go on spring break to get freaky with, then come back to school and continue to ignore the rest of us. I have to go with Bra and his "letting the slut out on spring break" Hott.
Bra is self-effacing. He doesn't take himself seriously. He'd probably give you good weight loss tips. There might even be a chance that he'd pick you up from the airport. Don't hate on Bra, he's just having fun.
# posted by : 10:37 AM
: 10:37 AM
My vote is for Pippy.
Reason:
This is "Hot Chicks w/ Douchebags". Pippy might not be the biggest Douche but has the Hottest Hot. Bra, Turd, and Canker's girls are ok
Reason:
This is "Hot Chicks w/ Douchebags". Pippy might not be the biggest Douche but has the Hottest Hot. Bra, Turd, and Canker's girls are ok
# posted by : 10:37 AM
: 10:37 AM
One of the things I like about this site is finding 'bags I can relate to. Canker Twins and Turd Flush are too far from my own experience, which brings it down to Bra and Pippy.
Bra's bad and deserves his spot in the HoS, but I'm going to have to go with Pippy. I've known Pippys before; just like Fish Slap, no matter how much life hands them, they've always got that scowl. At least Bra is happy with his hott. Plus the dog tags are obnoxious and wrong. Plus, she's definitely the best hott of the bunch.
A vote for Pippy, then, please.
Bra's bad and deserves his spot in the HoS, but I'm going to have to go with Pippy. I've known Pippys before; just like Fish Slap, no matter how much life hands them, they've always got that scowl. At least Bra is happy with his hott. Plus the dog tags are obnoxious and wrong. Plus, she's definitely the best hott of the bunch.
A vote for Pippy, then, please.
# posted by : 10:40 AM
: 10:40 AM
Pippy FTW.
He walks with a elemental, boiled-down-to-its-bare- essence douchosity that just makes me want to walk on his face for 9 innings in Douchetin Pedroia's spikes.
He walks with a elemental, boiled-down-to-its-bare- essence douchosity that just makes me want to walk on his face for 9 innings in Douchetin Pedroia's spikes.
# posted by : 10:41 AM
: 10:41 AM
gotta go with anyone except bra brosephs. he's already in the HOS, shouldn't that exclude him from being eligible for the monthly? give these other 3 losers a chance you know? how can they compete with a guy who's already a legend and in the HOS? bra easily wins this, but i think he automatically rises above the monthly . i would go with turd if bra was not in this, but bra wins hands down if he is eligible.
also where the fuck is fish slap? he must be onto his own choadness or something.
also where the fuck is fish slap? he must be onto his own choadness or something.
# posted by : 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM
If Bra is in the HOS, what more is it for him to win? I'm voting for Turd Flush just to Ralph Nader the voting this month.
# posted by : 10:53 AM
: 10:53 AM
Put my vote in for the turd. No douche has ever produced such a terrible feeling in my stomach. I feel like I'm going to get crabs by looking at him.
I'm going with The Turd Flush - he's just got those eyes that pierce my soul, and what looks like a headband to keep his perfect lawn in place.
Bra's a great guy, but the turd is much awfuller
Bra's a great guy, but the turd is much awfuller
# posted by : 11:03 AM
: 11:03 AM
Bramaster. Only because he beat DNA Dan. Dan would have won against the other three monthly finalists.
bra's got everything:
a tasty little hottie, orangeness, hand gesture, face making, styled hair, and let's not forget the wristband.
no, none of us can forget the wristband.
a tasty little hottie, orangeness, hand gesture, face making, styled hair, and let's not forget the wristband.
no, none of us can forget the wristband.
While Bra painfully struggles through his Frosh level History 101 class, on-route to his eventual Soft Drink Logistics major, he is captivated by the immortal words of JFK.
"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."
Thats you in a nutshell Bra.......
by effort and courage I mean hairless chest and no shorts.... and by purpose and direction I mean HCwDB of the Week and flexing the star tat to your right.
Bra in a utter douche-slide.
"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."
Thats you in a nutshell Bra.......
by effort and courage I mean hairless chest and no shorts.... and by purpose and direction I mean HCwDB of the Week and flexing the star tat to your right.
Bra in a utter douche-slide.
# posted by : 11:07 AM
: 11:07 AM
@ Douchetin Pedroia -
Where is "North Boston"? That chunk that sits above South Boston? I dunno; I was deep in yankee territory, drunk, confused and surrounded by people that talked funny. All the literature at the concierge desk referred to things to do in "North Boston". Stupid fucken concierge.
@ Bucket o Balls: Good point about the Yankees/Red Sox/Douchebag axis. I stand corrected. I assume that Celtic fans are not douches, simply because the ones I saw were painted green instead of orange. And they were very drunk.
Turd Flush is a Brown Sox fan.
Where is "North Boston"? That chunk that sits above South Boston? I dunno; I was deep in yankee territory, drunk, confused and surrounded by people that talked funny. All the literature at the concierge desk referred to things to do in "North Boston". Stupid fucken concierge.
@ Bucket o Balls: Good point about the Yankees/Red Sox/Douchebag axis. I stand corrected. I assume that Celtic fans are not douches, simply because the ones I saw were painted green instead of orange. And they were very drunk.
Turd Flush is a Brown Sox fan.
If it was just the 4, I'd vote for Bra for the stupid smirk. But I'm going to vote for Pippy, just because the fact that his hott is there with him confirms my belief that there is no God.
# posted by : 11:27 AM
: 11:27 AM
I have nothing witty to say, Turd Flush's anti-charm has sucked the wit right out of me.
You can find Bra!! a dozen times over on any Saturday at any club, but a Turd Flush is a rare bit of le douche magnifique.
You can find Bra!! a dozen times over on any Saturday at any club, but a Turd Flush is a rare bit of le douche magnifique.
BRA!!! ftw
the guy is actually fucking smart he graduated from UF Law and passed the BAR so i vote bra for his multi purpose bagness
the guy is actually fucking smart he graduated from UF Law and passed the BAR so i vote bra for his multi purpose bagness
# posted by : 11:31 AM
: 11:31 AM
Like the carbonated bubbles of BRA's cola du jour, he has risen to the top of the douchalogical spectrum, leaving nothing but spew in his wake. Kudos Bra,
I raise my Dr. Pepper/Vanilla Vodka in your honor.
To the rest of them:
Turdflush: get some sleep bra, and maybe some Hyelexin
Canker twins: Your stock of Valtrex is rising.
Pippy: His dogtag may actually be real, notice shaved head (and chest). Can't give it to a possible military man, right Big
Sarge?
I raise my Dr. Pepper/Vanilla Vodka in your honor.
To the rest of them:
Turdflush: get some sleep bra, and maybe some Hyelexin
Canker twins: Your stock of Valtrex is rising.
Pippy: His dogtag may actually be real, notice shaved head (and chest). Can't give it to a possible military man, right Big
Sarge?
# posted by : 11:36 AM
: 11:36 AM
Turd, there is just so much wrong in this picture. It takes some serious skill to attain that level of douche toxicity. Plus, I can pretend that the girls are really just lesbians and pretending to enjoy a picture with him. God, the mark of the douche is so bright on this one, I need my sunglasses. Joey should have used his grease-proof eyeliner on you raccoon eyes. Ugh, can't look at the picture anymore, its just too freaking disgusting.
Turdflush.
Just looking at his picture makes me feel like I need to take a shower.
Just looking at his picture makes me feel like I need to take a shower.
# posted by : 11:56 AM
: 11:56 AM
I cannot properly explain my feelings here.
Bra!! clearly is the winner. Even without beiing the absolute douchiest, I think the flush takes that easily. nor is his hott the hottest, Pippy's hott takes that.
Bra!! is simply a blight on humanity. Deep down, he's a good guy. He'll help you move, play wingman for you (even with the fat chick), he's cool to hang out with. But deeper down, you know that he'll flake on you, make you furious, then just "Bra!!, Broheim!!, Braaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! you until you can't be angry anymore.
Bra!! = Tommy Boy. "He's just a big dumb animal folks"
I agree with anonymous @7:34. The brosky pic, looks like a different douche altgether. Maybe Bra!!'s younger second cousin, trying to live up to the true Bra!!'s rep at Warren G. Harding Preaptory School for Wayward teens.
Bra!! clearly is the winner. Even without beiing the absolute douchiest, I think the flush takes that easily. nor is his hott the hottest, Pippy's hott takes that.
Bra!! is simply a blight on humanity. Deep down, he's a good guy. He'll help you move, play wingman for you (even with the fat chick), he's cool to hang out with. But deeper down, you know that he'll flake on you, make you furious, then just "Bra!!, Broheim!!, Braaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! you until you can't be angry anymore.
Bra!! = Tommy Boy. "He's just a big dumb animal folks"
I agree with anonymous @7:34. The brosky pic, looks like a different douche altgether. Maybe Bra!!'s younger second cousin, trying to live up to the true Bra!!'s rep at Warren G. Harding Preaptory School for Wayward teens.
# posted by : 12:06 PM
: 12:06 PM
Wowsers, this is a toughie. Bra! is just so quintessentially douche, but then there's the Turd Flush. Matching bicep star tatts versus mandanna and eyeshadow. And then there's the hott coefficient to calculate. Just when I think there's no answer, I see that damn facial expression on the High King of Broheim, and I know it has to be...
Bra! FTW.
Bra! FTW.
# posted by : 12:06 PM
: 12:06 PM
The Cankers are the most disgusting, so let's get that straight. But that isn't enough for the win. Their strength is their dual shaved side hair greasiness. And by strength I mean stench. Bra! has just as much everybag quality as Pippy, only he adds the fratbag, musclebag, I-hate-him-bag qualities that make him unstoppable. As Baltasar Gracian said, "It is good to vary in order so that you may frustrate the curious especially those who envy you."
Not really sure why I used that quote since Bra! doesn't vary himself at all, and he really only frustrates me because his latino Hott isn't getting me another Pepsi, Broheim! Bra! FTW
Not really sure why I used that quote since Bra! doesn't vary himself at all, and he really only frustrates me because his latino Hott isn't getting me another Pepsi, Broheim! Bra! FTW
BRA!! loves cola!
BRA!! loves his star tats!
BRA!! loves his bros!
BRA!! loves partying with the ladies in a respectful, non-threatening, mom-friendly, cola-centric fashion!
AND I LOVE BRA!!
BRA!! loves his star tats!
BRA!! loves his bros!
BRA!! loves partying with the ladies in a respectful, non-threatening, mom-friendly, cola-centric fashion!
AND I LOVE BRA!!
# posted by : 12:14 PM
: 12:14 PM
Ahhh!Where to start???
in 4th Place: Pippy! Snow Bunny of Sultry Perfection is by far the hottest hott here, and, the everydouchinesss level of Pippy! is overwhelmed by her hotttness, Douchal Quotient of 1.14, just too out of balance
3rd Place:Bra!!, I know, I know, he's some sort of douchal God around here, but, although he is VERY douchey, his hott just aint pullin' her weight, thereby pulling the pic out of balance. DQ of .89, is too out of whack. I mean, the site is named 'Hot chicks,with douche bags', not just 'douchebags'
2nd Place: The Canker Twins, these guys aren't really that douchey, Bra is a much bigger douche, however, generic Latino 'tough guys' though they may think they are, and with thier tattooed, skank bag hotts in tow, the pic achieves a very high balance. a DQ of .98, but, at a lower level of angst producing greasiness.
The fantasy combo pic of the month, I feel would be a photoshoppped pic of 'Sultry Ski Bunny of Perfection', and 'Turd Flush', think of the disgust, the anger, the projectile vomiting, that such a thing could produce!
1st Place: Turd Flush! The hotts here have a certain quality, which I have long called 'Slut Appeal', and, although they all look like they are on Heroin, skank on the right has a smokin' body, of this I am quite sure, and, Turd Flush himself noses out Bra, in my book, which puts me at odds with most of you so far, but, with a DQ of .98, at a high level of douchiness to boot, there you have it, Turd Flush, for the win!
'Ol Bagnanimous
in 4th Place: Pippy! Snow Bunny of Sultry Perfection is by far the hottest hott here, and, the everydouchinesss level of Pippy! is overwhelmed by her hotttness, Douchal Quotient of 1.14, just too out of balance
3rd Place:Bra!!, I know, I know, he's some sort of douchal God around here, but, although he is VERY douchey, his hott just aint pullin' her weight, thereby pulling the pic out of balance. DQ of .89, is too out of whack. I mean, the site is named 'Hot chicks,with douche bags', not just 'douchebags'
2nd Place: The Canker Twins, these guys aren't really that douchey, Bra is a much bigger douche, however, generic Latino 'tough guys' though they may think they are, and with thier tattooed, skank bag hotts in tow, the pic achieves a very high balance. a DQ of .98, but, at a lower level of angst producing greasiness.
The fantasy combo pic of the month, I feel would be a photoshoppped pic of 'Sultry Ski Bunny of Perfection', and 'Turd Flush', think of the disgust, the anger, the projectile vomiting, that such a thing could produce!
1st Place: Turd Flush! The hotts here have a certain quality, which I have long called 'Slut Appeal', and, although they all look like they are on Heroin, skank on the right has a smokin' body, of this I am quite sure, and, Turd Flush himself noses out Bra, in my book, which puts me at odds with most of you so far, but, with a DQ of .98, at a high level of douchiness to boot, there you have it, Turd Flush, for the win!
'Ol Bagnanimous
# posted by : 12:25 PM
: 12:25 PM
I want to give it to Bra, I really do. His hott has all the makings of lemon grass Thai curry with a creamy Thai ice tea to cut the spice. I wish I could see more of her though. Unfortunately Bra is clutching her far too close to his beer padded ripples for me to see her whole menu. Bra himself is forever immortalized in this very archetypal pose. One day in the far future, a great museum will be erected and Bra's likeness will have been transfered to a marble statue and it will stand in the center of a great rotunda and our great great grandchildren will gaze upon the statue and utter the words, 'bra, broseph, broheim'.
But I can't give it to Bra, as much as everything about him is the douche, I just can't. Not when the Canker Twins walk this earth. For they are douches far beyond our comprehension. Their hotts have been seduced by the douche side and yet we would still rest our chins upon their awesome boobage much like the two hotts are doing. The Twins sandwich their hotts and cast side-eyed glances. To the Dogon of Mali this is the representation made flesh of their sacred stars, Sirius A and Sirius B (binary stars which we know of as the dog star). In this the Dogon foresee the return of the little blue douches that once lived in the dwellings high up on the cliffs of the Bandiagara escarpment. Soon the Niger river will be booming with the sound of trance, pontoon boats will be tied together and affliction t-shirts will be worn by all men. Meanwhile the Canker Twins will return to Pro Clips for a trim of their Vanilla Ice lines.
So Canker Twins it is.
But I can't give it to Bra, as much as everything about him is the douche, I just can't. Not when the Canker Twins walk this earth. For they are douches far beyond our comprehension. Their hotts have been seduced by the douche side and yet we would still rest our chins upon their awesome boobage much like the two hotts are doing. The Twins sandwich their hotts and cast side-eyed glances. To the Dogon of Mali this is the representation made flesh of their sacred stars, Sirius A and Sirius B (binary stars which we know of as the dog star). In this the Dogon foresee the return of the little blue douches that once lived in the dwellings high up on the cliffs of the Bandiagara escarpment. Soon the Niger river will be booming with the sound of trance, pontoon boats will be tied together and affliction t-shirts will be worn by all men. Meanwhile the Canker Twins will return to Pro Clips for a trim of their Vanilla Ice lines.
So Canker Twins it is.
I wish to offer my two cents and by two cents I mean a vote for that panda bear of doucheness, Turd Flush! From the headband with sunglasses to the upside-down hard rocking hand signal and lets not forget the beads, TF truly epitomizes everything I look for when I go out and need a solid laugh at someone else's expense without screwing up my own Karma.
Douche Racer
Douche Racer
# posted by : 12:59 PM
: 12:59 PM
My vote is for Bra!
Though I would like to see DNA Dan and Pumpy have in an epic king-kong battle over hotts.
Though I would like to see DNA Dan and Pumpy have in an epic king-kong battle over hotts.
# posted by : 1:10 PM
: 1:10 PM
I've never voted in a weekly or a monthly, but this time, I can't resist. I have to go with the Canker Twins. Why? Three words: same fukkin' haircut. And a rather complex coif, at that. This requires active decision making -- douchal conspiracy, even -- combined with extremely poor taste and a complete absence of self-awareness that seems quintessentially douchesque. The fact that the women in the picture are extremely Bleethed out only heightens the overall douchosity of this revolting display of wrongness. As much as Bra deserves to be called out, and has been in these comments, my vote goes for the C-Twins.
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
I'm using Assholishness as my selection criteria. So I have to pick Bra!! I counted seven Assholishness Indicators: the hair gel, the poochy mouf, the Elton John sunglasses, the shaved pecs & abs, the I-Got-Carded Wristband(s), the bicep tat, the arm pose just so he could narcissistically display said bicep tat...the list is endless. But the lack of a URC (Ubiquitous Red Cup) cost him a point so his Assholishness Factor drops to six, still the clear weiner.
Ten pesos says when he's grunting & snorting atop his Hott, he makes her hold up a mirror in front of her face so he can look at himself, imagining some auto-erotic gay fantasy. A truly repellent 'bag.
Ten pesos says when he's grunting & snorting atop his Hott, he makes her hold up a mirror in front of her face so he can look at himself, imagining some auto-erotic gay fantasy. A truly repellent 'bag.
# posted by : 1:18 PM
: 1:18 PM
Consulting the DSM-IV: Bipolar I Disorder is defined as one or more manic episodes.
Manic symptoms include irritability, anger or rage, delusions, hypersensitivity, hypersexuality, hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, impulsiveness, racing thoughts, talkativeness, pressure to keep talking or rapid speech, and grandiose ideas and plans.
He doesnt need a bitch, he needs lithium.
Manic symptoms include irritability, anger or rage, delusions, hypersensitivity, hypersexuality, hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, impulsiveness, racing thoughts, talkativeness, pressure to keep talking or rapid speech, and grandiose ideas and plans.
He doesnt need a bitch, he needs lithium.
# posted by : 1:42 PM
: 1:42 PM
Canker Twins FTW.
Anyone who takes styling tips from Color Me Badd deserves to win something. And get kicked in the teeth.
Turd Flush is just fucking creepy. If he had an equally douchey sidekick he might have a chance.
Pippy is just an asshole.
Bra! is Bra! What you see is what you get. With a large Pepsi.
Anyone who takes styling tips from Color Me Badd deserves to win something. And get kicked in the teeth.
Turd Flush is just fucking creepy. If he had an equally douchey sidekick he might have a chance.
Pippy is just an asshole.
Bra! is Bra! What you see is what you get. With a large Pepsi.
# posted by : 1:49 PM
: 1:49 PM
While Pippy, Turd, and the Twins stare into our eyes, begging for the win, Bra doesn’t even need to aknowledge the competition. He is probably letting one of his broheims know that he’ll be right over to offer up some bro jobs in exchange for assorted name brand soft drinks. Bra is at a different level than his competators. He doesn’t rely on a duplicate of himself sporting matching fades, he is so much more than a turd celebrating Marti Gras, and he doesn’t need to emulate an already well established douche like that douchey Russian from “America’s Most Smartest Model” for he is the arguably pantless emperor of the Broman Empire. He will not heed the warning of the Asian hot who proclaims “Beware the ides of scrote, bra!” And because of Bra’s negligence, DB1 himself will stab Bra 23 times as Bra uses his last breath of pepsi gas to beg the question “Et tu brote?” And unlike Pippy, no one will need dog tags to identify the body of the great Bra. (he's got star tats afterall)
And so i cast my vote for Bra, though it seems ironic to vote konwing full well that this is not a democracy but a brotalitarian government.
And so i cast my vote for Bra, though it seems ironic to vote konwing full well that this is not a democracy but a brotalitarian government.
# posted by : 2:19 PM
: 2:19 PM
I still don't understand the merits of Bra. Possibly because I was surrounded with so many of these types in college that I've just come to accept that this is the norm of a doomed society like ours, and I have to just sit and watch and document the apocalypse.
That said, I'd go for Turd Flush for sheer jihad-inducing rage. DB1 is right, this would be a great Al-Qaeda recruitment poster, titled "This is what sexual freedom gets you." Yes, hand me an M-16 and a burka. I'd prefer that to seeing this again.
That said, I'd go for Turd Flush for sheer jihad-inducing rage. DB1 is right, this would be a great Al-Qaeda recruitment poster, titled "This is what sexual freedom gets you." Yes, hand me an M-16 and a burka. I'd prefer that to seeing this again.
BRA! MY SMIRK AND TATS ROCK BRA!! STEVE STIFLER"S GOT NUTHIN' ON ME BRA! WHAT A PUTZ. BROHEIM WINS IN A TURD-SLIDE.
# posted by : 2:52 PM
: 2:52 PM
You may ask, is it possible to take down a recent HoS Inductee like Bra?
Is it possible to smell more like poo than an actual turd?
Yes on both counts....and that my friend, is the douchal power of the Canker Twins. So powerful in fact that they can still pollute even the most hopeless of Bleeths.
More on the vanquished:
Pippy - What can I add to Pippy that the DB1 has not already said?
TF: I think we can all agree that Indy should have left Turd Flush to the Thuggee Cult. However, I almost feel sorry for him (enough that I'd like to be first voluteer to put him out of his misery). His early years toiling under the Black Sleep of Kali, all while being forced into child labor to mine for the Shankara Stones has put him through enough. Besides, his photo looks like a 'Make a Wish Foundation moment'.
Bra! - Bra's sheer volume of work, combined with the consistency of his douche (and love of soft drinks) makes him more than HoS worthy. However, he inspires more chuckles than rage in this commentator.
So be proud Canker Twins! It's not easy to catch lightning in a bottle. And by lightning' I of course mean Simplex 10, and by 'bottle' I mean Pitri dish....well, actually it turns out that that is pretty easy.
Is it possible to smell more like poo than an actual turd?
Yes on both counts....and that my friend, is the douchal power of the Canker Twins. So powerful in fact that they can still pollute even the most hopeless of Bleeths.
More on the vanquished:
Pippy - What can I add to Pippy that the DB1 has not already said?
TF: I think we can all agree that Indy should have left Turd Flush to the Thuggee Cult. However, I almost feel sorry for him (enough that I'd like to be first voluteer to put him out of his misery). His early years toiling under the Black Sleep of Kali, all while being forced into child labor to mine for the Shankara Stones has put him through enough. Besides, his photo looks like a 'Make a Wish Foundation moment'.
Bra! - Bra's sheer volume of work, combined with the consistency of his douche (and love of soft drinks) makes him more than HoS worthy. However, he inspires more chuckles than rage in this commentator.
So be proud Canker Twins! It's not easy to catch lightning in a bottle. And by lightning' I of course mean Simplex 10, and by 'bottle' I mean Pitri dish....well, actually it turns out that that is pretty easy.
# posted by : 3:00 PM
: 3:00 PM
Okay, tha name of the site is "hot chicks with douchebags" - it seems we all concentrate on the scrote more than the hott, so I gotta go with Pippy on this one - maybe the the best "blue steel" pose ever seen on the site.....
Bra.
Because, Hey, Bra... you're really douchy. And because I hope to god you are wearing swim trunks. Plus, your hottie's kinda flirty, peeking out behind those sunglasses.
Because, Hey, Bra... you're really douchy. And because I hope to god you are wearing swim trunks. Plus, your hottie's kinda flirty, peeking out behind those sunglasses.
# posted by : 3:31 PM
: 3:31 PM
Canker Twins FTW.
Yeah, Bra's got some cred. Turd Flush is just otherworldly. And yes, Pippy's hott makes me want to take the whole bottle of Viagra - damn the 40 hour Priapitic boner.
But man, to be douche to the power of 2. to be able to look at yourself in the mirror without haveing a mirror anywhere near you, to present yourself and your bra in public as the douchey embodiment of the Cobra douche twins Tomax & Xamot well, that's just so far beyond the pale as to suggest that douchebaggry isn't a tragic mistake of cultural self-expression but a complete genetic miscalculation.
Yeah, Bra's got some cred. Turd Flush is just otherworldly. And yes, Pippy's hott makes me want to take the whole bottle of Viagra - damn the 40 hour Priapitic boner.
But man, to be douche to the power of 2. to be able to look at yourself in the mirror without haveing a mirror anywhere near you, to present yourself and your bra in public as the douchey embodiment of the Cobra douche twins Tomax & Xamot well, that's just so far beyond the pale as to suggest that douchebaggry isn't a tragic mistake of cultural self-expression but a complete genetic miscalculation.
# posted by : 3:37 PM
: 3:37 PM
If this was comparing organisms in the chain of evolution, it would be as such.
Pippy would be the poo-stained amoeba that originated in the volatile lands of pooria. He is very stinky and poo-smelling, but cannot contend with the rest of the bunch. He will soon be wiped out by the overtaking of the seas.
The being who leads that charge is turd flush, with his slimy, foundation-stained scales, his vodka club, and equally disgusting hotts. However, his time on the earth was not meant to last, and in time, his species will be dominated by the Canker Twins.
The Canker Twins are the dinosaurs of douche. Spiky and smelly, these two rule the lands of douche, and always carry along equally destructive tails that do jut as much damage to the flora and fauna as their sharp, poo-stained jowls.
But in time, even they will be wiped out. Because Bra is the veritable grizzly bear of scrote. He is what the other three only wish to achieve in the coing eons. He is all that we have to come to loathe, and even fully-evolved human beings still flee in terror when they spot the scrote bear. Bra takes this one away, no contest.
Pippy would be the poo-stained amoeba that originated in the volatile lands of pooria. He is very stinky and poo-smelling, but cannot contend with the rest of the bunch. He will soon be wiped out by the overtaking of the seas.
The being who leads that charge is turd flush, with his slimy, foundation-stained scales, his vodka club, and equally disgusting hotts. However, his time on the earth was not meant to last, and in time, his species will be dominated by the Canker Twins.
The Canker Twins are the dinosaurs of douche. Spiky and smelly, these two rule the lands of douche, and always carry along equally destructive tails that do jut as much damage to the flora and fauna as their sharp, poo-stained jowls.
But in time, even they will be wiped out. Because Bra is the veritable grizzly bear of scrote. He is what the other three only wish to achieve in the coing eons. He is all that we have to come to loathe, and even fully-evolved human beings still flee in terror when they spot the scrote bear. Bra takes this one away, no contest.
# posted by : 3:45 PM
: 3:45 PM
Bra is a tool - not a douchebag as defined by this site. I feel some of us have lost the feeling of what a true douche is. When I see somebody and laugh - that person is a tool. When I see somebody and wonder where the nearest blunt object is - that is a true douchebag. I would use that blunt object on DNADAN.
Also just because a man may take a lady off of your hands does not make him a tool. I sense a lot of jealousy lately. If Brad Pitt has some douche shades on and steals your sister away from your family, that does not make Brad Pitt a douche (I think he wears white belts as well). Thoughts....
Also just because a man may take a lady off of your hands does not make him a tool. I sense a lot of jealousy lately. If Brad Pitt has some douche shades on and steals your sister away from your family, that does not make Brad Pitt a douche (I think he wears white belts as well). Thoughts....
# posted by : 4:08 PM
: 4:08 PM
I gotta go with the Canker Twins for the win.
It's tough for me not to pick Bra! but he will live on in the Hall of Scrote for many generations to come.
For me, the Canker Twins get the win based on the fact that their douche DNA is so ingrained that they lack souls, lives of their own, personal style, dignity, or the fact to make a decision on their own…so they copied each others look down to the T. That is dedication on the douchiest of levels….that’s douchdecation…and for that, the Canker Twins get the win.
It's tough for me not to pick Bra! but he will live on in the Hall of Scrote for many generations to come.
For me, the Canker Twins get the win based on the fact that their douche DNA is so ingrained that they lack souls, lives of their own, personal style, dignity, or the fact to make a decision on their own…so they copied each others look down to the T. That is dedication on the douchiest of levels….that’s douchdecation…and for that, the Canker Twins get the win.
I have thought long and hard on this. Given that the hotts (notts?) in the other entries leave just a bit to be desired, and also because Bra!! is going to win anyways (which is A-OK by me), I'm going with the Cankers. If the tragedy of a young Bleeth being lead down the primrose path of scroteness is truly the hallmark of a HCwDB pic, then clearly these two embody that tragedy by also embodying doucheness themselves, writ large.
P.S. I write like a queer.
P.S. I write like a queer.
# posted by : 4:20 PM
: 4:20 PM
I have to go w/ # 1 the twins.. Although Turd is right after the twins on my list.
ps. Bra is too easy..
ps. Bra is too easy..
# posted by : 4:33 PM
: 4:33 PM
I'm voting for everyone's favorite Broman Imperial Footsoldier.
Bra, bro.
Now I'm going to down a few Cosbropolitans to celebrate.
Bra, bro.
Now I'm going to down a few Cosbropolitans to celebrate.
# posted by : 5:04 PM
: 5:04 PM
Pippy. While Bra certainly has douche aspects, I am more inclined to pity him for his lack of intellect than anything else. Pippy, though, has the look of evil. He knows he's a douche. But still...he says "Fuck You" with that glance.
# posted by : 5:15 PM
: 5:15 PM
I don't trust the counts from anonymous on this one. I mean I know Bra is going to win, but I think the margin might be a little inflated.
And you all are crushin' on Bra, and it's kinda fruity. I wonder if Bra likes Tahitian Treat...
I wonder...
And you all are crushin' on Bra, and it's kinda fruity. I wonder if Bra likes Tahitian Treat...
I wonder...
# posted by : 5:23 PM
: 5:23 PM
This is a difficult one.
Pippys hott is by far the best in the four pics, yet he doesn't really stack up in terms of douche when compared to his competition.
Theres something about Turd and the Cankers that says deep down inside they are weak and vulnerable, and the douchiness is just their way of trying to be cool to fit in. On the otherhand, Bra truly beleives in himself, no second thoughts.
It is this complete ignorance Bra oozes that gets him my vote.
Bra FTW!!!
Pippys hott is by far the best in the four pics, yet he doesn't really stack up in terms of douche when compared to his competition.
Theres something about Turd and the Cankers that says deep down inside they are weak and vulnerable, and the douchiness is just their way of trying to be cool to fit in. On the otherhand, Bra truly beleives in himself, no second thoughts.
It is this complete ignorance Bra oozes that gets him my vote.
Bra FTW!!!
# posted by : 5:28 PM
: 5:28 PM
The Cankers (all 5 of them) make me embrace the Minutemen's view on Immigration Policy. By this, I mean they should be locked in the back of an airtight moving van and left in the desert until they suffocate. But their hotts are just skanks.
Turd Flush is truly nauseating, but his hotts are whores, or at least porn stars. There's something way too P2P about this one.
Pippy clearly has anger-management issues and his hott is the hottest, but he's clearly just a Triple-A scrote waiting to be called up to the bigs.
And then there's Bra. Confirming that douchebags are born, not made, he wears his doucheiosity as a badge of honor. Which is to say it is innate, the very essence of his DNA. He does not know that he is a douche. But you and I both know that he spent much of high school terrorizing underclassmen and spent all his time at State U bedding any girl who would swallow his bullshit (and later that evening, his semen).
The smug, self satisfied smirk, the faux studded wristband, THE LACK OF PANTS (!!!), it's all too much to bear.
Bra FTW.
Turd Flush is truly nauseating, but his hotts are whores, or at least porn stars. There's something way too P2P about this one.
Pippy clearly has anger-management issues and his hott is the hottest, but he's clearly just a Triple-A scrote waiting to be called up to the bigs.
And then there's Bra. Confirming that douchebags are born, not made, he wears his doucheiosity as a badge of honor. Which is to say it is innate, the very essence of his DNA. He does not know that he is a douche. But you and I both know that he spent much of high school terrorizing underclassmen and spent all his time at State U bedding any girl who would swallow his bullshit (and later that evening, his semen).
The smug, self satisfied smirk, the faux studded wristband, THE LACK OF PANTS (!!!), it's all too much to bear.
Bra FTW.
I'm skeptical of the anonymous posts that just say Bra! over and over again as well.
Canker for the win.
Canker for the win.
# posted by : 5:43 PM
: 5:43 PM
Bra. Definitely.
He's Broseph who parted the Seas of Red soda and made the land all sexy and Pepsi.
He's Broseph who parted the Seas of Red soda and made the land all sexy and Pepsi.
# posted by : 5:59 PM
: 5:59 PM
i gotta go with Bra. the star tattoo, the crucifix, the lack of shirt and low riding pants, the puckered lips, the hand gesture, and then the hott. wat a hott.
# posted by : 5:59 PM
: 5:59 PM
So, a lot of folks seem to be seeing this as a tough choice. However as a selfish person, I have to vote for the only one of these idiots that I voted for in the weekly, thus the winner: Turd Flush.
First off Pippy doesn't hit me that strongly. He's a fairly normal looking dude with by FAR the prettiest girl out of the bunch. However, even though he has multiple pics, they're all from the same day/club. So I have to let him go, just a normal quality douche, not Monthly worthy.
Canker Twins - As much as I enjoy dudes that look like lizards, and girls that look even MORE like lizards, these people are a waste of time. Cornrows go on TOP of the head and Mickey Blue Eyes over there is scaring me to death. But other than Chuck D on the left, these people are all wastes of space.
Bra! - My feelings on this gentleman are well documented, so I'll just say this: He shouldn't have won the weekly, he shouldn't be in the HoS, he shouldn't even be in this discussion. Walk on any co-ed campus in America, and in 10 minutes you will see 10 Bra!s, I just don't get it...
Now, my buddy Turd Flush here... Man where to even begin? The zombie eyes, the manadana, the $5 Ray-Ban sunglasses, it's a cornucopia of awfulness. Ashley Simpson on the left, I can't really say much about her, it's hard to say what she's got going on. As for blondie on the right, she needs to eat a few samiches and lay off the bleach before she her hair turns to strings... oh wait looks like we're too late for that. However I dig the shirt and the look on her face makes me think bad thoughts.
So, I will case my write-in vote for DNA Dan who got HOSED in the Weekly, I'll begin my recall petition to remove Bra from HOS (he can join Big Red and Ricky in former HoS members), and cast my vote for Turd Flush. Now the real reason I hate him, the way he softly is holding blondies locks in his fingers, it's kinda sweet, which makes me hate him MORE.
First off Pippy doesn't hit me that strongly. He's a fairly normal looking dude with by FAR the prettiest girl out of the bunch. However, even though he has multiple pics, they're all from the same day/club. So I have to let him go, just a normal quality douche, not Monthly worthy.
Canker Twins - As much as I enjoy dudes that look like lizards, and girls that look even MORE like lizards, these people are a waste of time. Cornrows go on TOP of the head and Mickey Blue Eyes over there is scaring me to death. But other than Chuck D on the left, these people are all wastes of space.
Bra! - My feelings on this gentleman are well documented, so I'll just say this: He shouldn't have won the weekly, he shouldn't be in the HoS, he shouldn't even be in this discussion. Walk on any co-ed campus in America, and in 10 minutes you will see 10 Bra!s, I just don't get it...
Now, my buddy Turd Flush here... Man where to even begin? The zombie eyes, the manadana, the $5 Ray-Ban sunglasses, it's a cornucopia of awfulness. Ashley Simpson on the left, I can't really say much about her, it's hard to say what she's got going on. As for blondie on the right, she needs to eat a few samiches and lay off the bleach before she her hair turns to strings... oh wait looks like we're too late for that. However I dig the shirt and the look on her face makes me think bad thoughts.
So, I will case my write-in vote for DNA Dan who got HOSED in the Weekly, I'll begin my recall petition to remove Bra from HOS (he can join Big Red and Ricky in former HoS members), and cast my vote for Turd Flush. Now the real reason I hate him, the way he softly is holding blondies locks in his fingers, it's kinda sweet, which makes me hate him MORE.
Turd Flush. In a monthly where the hotts are questionable at best he is far and away the most vile thing on this site.
# posted by : 6:57 PM
: 6:57 PM
Put me down for Bra!!
This guy, to me, represents the everyman douche. The trendy tatts, faux-hawk, stupid ass shades and all round general greasiness that is Bra is also the kinda thing I unfortunately witness everyday.
Is there a better way to recognize such filth with not only a place in the HoS but a win in the monthly too? I think the answer is clear.
This guy, to me, represents the everyman douche. The trendy tatts, faux-hawk, stupid ass shades and all round general greasiness that is Bra is also the kinda thing I unfortunately witness everyday.
Is there a better way to recognize such filth with not only a place in the HoS but a win in the monthly too? I think the answer is clear.
I'm with douche quixote in that Bra really isn't all that special a scrote. Stupid little shits like him crawl all over the planet - they're everywhere, and they end up in banking or real estate or some other nebbish job, looking back at their glory years in college, how they banged lots of bitches and had a blast on spring break, and they're always remember their best buddies, their BROHEIM! who is named Jason, or Jred or some other name that starts with a J and has 5 or 6 letters.
Frankly, I would have liked to see Still Life with Coors Lite up for the monthly or at least get a place in the hall of scrote. Otherwise, it will just get lost in the traffic, and it's such a masterpiece.
And DNA Dan I think is some atavistic proof that Neanderthals and CroMagnons mated. He is WAY scrotier than any of them here.
So, I have to vote for NONE. Pippy's hott is hott, but he's just a dumb ass - he doesn't scream "I'm a perfect douchebag". The wins girls are level 3 bleeths, and turd flush's chicks are level 2 bleeths working on their level 3 merit badges. So that leaves Bra, and he's just not douchey enough. A total asshole and narcissist, but douchebag of te month, when we have DNA Dan? MEh - I don't think so.
I say "Boooooooooo!"
OK. fine. Pippy. Because his babe is as fine as he is a dork.
Frankly, I would have liked to see Still Life with Coors Lite up for the monthly or at least get a place in the hall of scrote. Otherwise, it will just get lost in the traffic, and it's such a masterpiece.
And DNA Dan I think is some atavistic proof that Neanderthals and CroMagnons mated. He is WAY scrotier than any of them here.
So, I have to vote for NONE. Pippy's hott is hott, but he's just a dumb ass - he doesn't scream "I'm a perfect douchebag". The wins girls are level 3 bleeths, and turd flush's chicks are level 2 bleeths working on their level 3 merit badges. So that leaves Bra, and he's just not douchey enough. A total asshole and narcissist, but douchebag of te month, when we have DNA Dan? MEh - I don't think so.
I say "Boooooooooo!"
OK. fine. Pippy. Because his babe is as fine as he is a dork.
# posted by : 7:50 PM
: 7:50 PM
I base my judgment on one simple question: "If I met these douches on the street, and I got one free swing at them, what would I hit them with?" For Pippy, one good punch, because I'd have to try to be manly in front of his hott. Turd Flush, an 8-iron, because that's my worst club and I don't care if it breaks. Canker Twins, I just have to point and laugh. They're walking failures at life. But Bra... he gets the crowbar. The uilitarian, uncompromising, zombie-killing crowbar. And that is why I vote for Bra.
-j. alfred douchefrock
-j. alfred douchefrock
# posted by : 8:14 PM
: 8:14 PM
Bra. He is the epitome of douchedom. His hot doesn't do it for me, but his smugness, beer gut, and stupid tool-bag tat are all that is douche. He is an icon in his own right.
# posted by : 9:03 PM
: 9:03 PM
Well, I'm new to this phenomenon, but I love it. Brilliant. And, where appropriate, Hott.
Having said that, I'm proud to cast my first Monthly vote for Bra. The Cankers do have much of the elusive douchetude, but their "Hotts," well, aren't. TF is too methed-out to display true 'baggery, and Pippy is just no competition for Bra.
Broheimness FTW.
Having said that, I'm proud to cast my first Monthly vote for Bra. The Cankers do have much of the elusive douchetude, but their "Hotts," well, aren't. TF is too methed-out to display true 'baggery, and Pippy is just no competition for Bra.
Broheimness FTW.
Broheim!
We see him. We can hear him. We can feel the doucheness emanating from him. I can say without a doubt that if I saw Bra! standing poolside with his cola container hoisted on high, I would have to fight hard to repress the urge to fling him into the shallow end of the pool. The end with the "no diving" signs stenciled onto the cement.
Bra for the win, and may he rot in the Hall of Scrote.
We see him. We can hear him. We can feel the doucheness emanating from him. I can say without a doubt that if I saw Bra! standing poolside with his cola container hoisted on high, I would have to fight hard to repress the urge to fling him into the shallow end of the pool. The end with the "no diving" signs stenciled onto the cement.
Bra for the win, and may he rot in the Hall of Scrote.
# posted by : 11:07 PM
: 11:07 PM
Turdflush for the win. Pippy is just annoying in a cockroach on your kitchen floor when you stumble in looking for that last chilled bottle of MadDog kinda way. You're barefoot but you stomp it anyway. The Cankers are good and Bra is funny but can't escape the giant shadow cast by a towering douche like the Flushmeister. Lube on Turdster, lube on!
# posted by : 11:26 PM
: 11:26 PM
BRA should fawkin win this star-ceps down broheim...I mean, c'mawwwwn yaw, this dude is the epitome of all that is douche...His HOTT could use a boob-job, but she is (without any doubt) HAWT as hell in August...BRA looks the type to be staring at his own reflection on some other douche's mirrored goggle-sunglasses...His HOTT is trying to eye-fuck the camera-man...The perfect match of arrogance, the douche/bleeth yin and yang, the counter-balance of all that makes us feel like jamming sporks into our eye-sockets as we scroll through the site...BRA wins broheim...bra wins!
Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
# posted by : 1:42 AM
: 1:42 AM
haven't read the comments yet, but i can't stop giggling. i've got a crush on obrama. dou'ching with the stars.
DB1 - as the wannabees and near misses parade by, our thoughts turn wistfully to all that true and good. And by true and good, I mean douche and scrote, and that must be DNA Dan.
# posted by : 2:54 AM
: 2:54 AM
How are we ever to separate these four fantastic competitors? It's like trying to separate four slightly different shades of brown from a sewage spill into their respective, original poos.
The Canker Twins are too unfocused. They are a scattergun blast of douche-pellets, as opposed to the tiny, neat hole in the head that is the sign of the true professional Douche.
Pippy is more trad-douche, but a little too commonplace... like he had no idea what a douchebag was before he found HCwDB and decided to try dressing as one. He does get points for Sultry Ski Bunny though, who is undoubtedly as sensual as they come.
The real test of mettle was choosing between the Turd and Bra.
Turd earns points in the dichotomy he creates: the loathesome singularity of douche that pulls the brightest of the hotts in to their eventual demise. His babes are that beautiful mix of hotness and semi-drunken playfulness that blows the opportunities of the night wide open, and therefore confounds and enrages us all the more at the fact that it is the Turd there to drink in the yumminess and not ourselves.
Bra is... well, he is a legend, nothing less. Bra is like that favourite TV superhero you used to watch as a kid. Each week you would tune in, full of excitement and awe, despite the fact that he would go through the same routine and end up beating the bad guys. It wasn't what he did as much as who he was. Just watching him in action was enough.
To be honest, I so want to vote for Bra. To not vote for him would be wrong. And yet... he's just not repulsive enough. I see him and I, too, want to order another Pepsi. Perhaps Pepsi should use him in their next national marketing compaign. The Turd must take the cup as being the biggest douchebag of them all.
The Canker Twins are too unfocused. They are a scattergun blast of douche-pellets, as opposed to the tiny, neat hole in the head that is the sign of the true professional Douche.
Pippy is more trad-douche, but a little too commonplace... like he had no idea what a douchebag was before he found HCwDB and decided to try dressing as one. He does get points for Sultry Ski Bunny though, who is undoubtedly as sensual as they come.
The real test of mettle was choosing between the Turd and Bra.
Turd earns points in the dichotomy he creates: the loathesome singularity of douche that pulls the brightest of the hotts in to their eventual demise. His babes are that beautiful mix of hotness and semi-drunken playfulness that blows the opportunities of the night wide open, and therefore confounds and enrages us all the more at the fact that it is the Turd there to drink in the yumminess and not ourselves.
Bra is... well, he is a legend, nothing less. Bra is like that favourite TV superhero you used to watch as a kid. Each week you would tune in, full of excitement and awe, despite the fact that he would go through the same routine and end up beating the bad guys. It wasn't what he did as much as who he was. Just watching him in action was enough.
To be honest, I so want to vote for Bra. To not vote for him would be wrong. And yet... he's just not repulsive enough. I see him and I, too, want to order another Pepsi. Perhaps Pepsi should use him in their next national marketing compaign. The Turd must take the cup as being the biggest douchebag of them all.
# posted by : 3:16 AM
: 3:16 AM
No douche better epitomizes the name of this site than Bra! Viva the uberdouche!
# posted by : 5:29 AM
: 5:29 AM
Great month. Such strong contenders all around.
I've got to give it to Bra for the doucheface. No quantity of gestures and accessories can equal the doucheface as evidence of douchiosity. It's like a window on the douchey soul.
A good doucheface can make you sorry that you weren't born on a deserted island, and this is one great doucheface. Maybe the best ever.
If Bra worked here, i'd quit; if he lived in my town, i'd move; if he hit on my sister, i'd kill him, slowly, by locking him in a room with Pippy, the collected works of Mayerbag, and a case of the Axe.
The Douche of Hazard
I've got to give it to Bra for the doucheface. No quantity of gestures and accessories can equal the doucheface as evidence of douchiosity. It's like a window on the douchey soul.
A good doucheface can make you sorry that you weren't born on a deserted island, and this is one great doucheface. Maybe the best ever.
If Bra worked here, i'd quit; if he lived in my town, i'd move; if he hit on my sister, i'd kill him, slowly, by locking him in a room with Pippy, the collected works of Mayerbag, and a case of the Axe.
The Douche of Hazard
# posted by : 5:36 AM
: 5:36 AM
I can see clearly that it is Bra! by a landslide. A landslide of noxious, decaying feces, swiftly eradicating any third world villages in its fratboy-ish path. And by that I mean succulent hotts.
Bra! wins.
Bra! wins.
# posted by : 5:44 AM
: 5:44 AM
Bra!! Def. it's the pucker of the lips, the sparkle of the St. Christopher medallion, the toasty-ness of the mist on "tan" and is he wearing shorts?
The Canker twins... eyebrow on the right, nuff said
Turd flush no comment
and well Pippy who gives a shit about Pippy we want the coed to ourselves
The Canker twins... eyebrow on the right, nuff said
Turd flush no comment
and well Pippy who gives a shit about Pippy we want the coed to ourselves
# posted by : 7:16 AM
: 7:16 AM
here's an idea for db1:
use an external polling tool that lists ALL the month's douchebags, and then let your audience select. This could lead to a greater range of awards. your site works like this:
There are photos of a hetero couple (at minimum). People comment.
Within this simple exercise, there are a variety of rubrics and judgements made, and each of these are available as criteria:
1. DoucheBaggery / Scroteness
2. Hott
3. Bleeth
So we have a combinatorial problem:
Douche w/ Hott
Douche w/ Bleeth
douche w/ a combination of Hotts and Bleeths.
And, of course, the inherent douchery of the douchebag himself.
And, there is also something we are neglecting, even in this analysis: the quality of the photo itself.
So, from this we have a variety of voting points:
1. Douchebag of the month (who is the douchiest of all douches regardless of female companionship)
2. Douchebag and Hott of the Month (not only must he be an exceptional douche, but he must have a first rank Hott in tow as well.)
3. Douchebag and Bleeth of the month. (He must be a first rank Douchebag and she must be at least a level 3 bleeth.)
4. Hott of the Month. (she must be totally smokin' with as little bleethness as possible)
5. Bleeth of the month. (she must be a fucking skank bag mess)
6. Picture of the Month. (The picture itself must have aesthetic qualities - composition, lighting, interesting components and content, narrativity, etc. Whether it has a douche and a bleeth or a douche and a hott is not that important, but he MUST be some kind of a serious douchebag, and she MUST be a hottie or bleeth of some variety.)
So, for example, in this months collection, I would submit these results:
1. Douchbag of the Month: DNA Dan.
Fucking retarded. His nickname should be "Mongo".
2. Douchebag and Hott of the Month: Bra. The more I look at his Hott, the more I find her seriously attractive. And he is a complete douche.
3. douchebag and bleeth of the month: The Canker Twins.
The bleethness of the bleeths is breathtaking and they are super douchy.
4. Hott of the Month: Catherine from Tards R Us. Possibley the least bleethy looking woman on the website. Sweet eyes, great gentle smile, and a Really Fine Rack. Yum.
6. Bleeth of the Month: The bleeth in the center with the hopped up hair and the crappy half done tats in The Canker Twins. She looks like she does nails at a salon in South Kearny NJ or blowjobs at a truckstop near Newark. hyperskank.
7. Photo of the Month: Still Life with Coors Lite. Possibley the best photo on this site, bar none. Much ink has been spilt over this brilliant image, so suffice to say, it's the best picture of the month, possibley the year.
I hope that helps.
use an external polling tool that lists ALL the month's douchebags, and then let your audience select. This could lead to a greater range of awards. your site works like this:
There are photos of a hetero couple (at minimum). People comment.
Within this simple exercise, there are a variety of rubrics and judgements made, and each of these are available as criteria:
1. DoucheBaggery / Scroteness
2. Hott
3. Bleeth
So we have a combinatorial problem:
Douche w/ Hott
Douche w/ Bleeth
douche w/ a combination of Hotts and Bleeths.
And, of course, the inherent douchery of the douchebag himself.
And, there is also something we are neglecting, even in this analysis: the quality of the photo itself.
So, from this we have a variety of voting points:
1. Douchebag of the month (who is the douchiest of all douches regardless of female companionship)
2. Douchebag and Hott of the Month (not only must he be an exceptional douche, but he must have a first rank Hott in tow as well.)
3. Douchebag and Bleeth of the month. (He must be a first rank Douchebag and she must be at least a level 3 bleeth.)
4. Hott of the Month. (she must be totally smokin' with as little bleethness as possible)
5. Bleeth of the month. (she must be a fucking skank bag mess)
6. Picture of the Month. (The picture itself must have aesthetic qualities - composition, lighting, interesting components and content, narrativity, etc. Whether it has a douche and a bleeth or a douche and a hott is not that important, but he MUST be some kind of a serious douchebag, and she MUST be a hottie or bleeth of some variety.)
So, for example, in this months collection, I would submit these results:
1. Douchbag of the Month: DNA Dan.
Fucking retarded. His nickname should be "Mongo".
2. Douchebag and Hott of the Month: Bra. The more I look at his Hott, the more I find her seriously attractive. And he is a complete douche.
3. douchebag and bleeth of the month: The Canker Twins.
The bleethness of the bleeths is breathtaking and they are super douchy.
4. Hott of the Month: Catherine from Tards R Us. Possibley the least bleethy looking woman on the website. Sweet eyes, great gentle smile, and a Really Fine Rack. Yum.
6. Bleeth of the Month: The bleeth in the center with the hopped up hair and the crappy half done tats in The Canker Twins. She looks like she does nails at a salon in South Kearny NJ or blowjobs at a truckstop near Newark. hyperskank.
7. Photo of the Month: Still Life with Coors Lite. Possibley the best photo on this site, bar none. Much ink has been spilt over this brilliant image, so suffice to say, it's the best picture of the month, possibley the year.
I hope that helps.
# posted by : 7:35 AM
: 7:35 AM
Put a vote up for the "BRA"!!!!
You know what the sad thing is... BRA is probably stoked that he;d get voted.... BRA... I GOTDA VOTES!!!
You know what the sad thing is... BRA is probably stoked that he;d get voted.... BRA... I GOTDA VOTES!!!
# posted by : 7:42 AM
: 7:42 AM
Gotta be Pippy. Even without all the requisite douchbag sccoutrements he exudes bagness. That he shows in the monthly without all those things that the other contestants have should be a testament to his innter bag is bigger than all the others.
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# posted by : 7:53 AM
: 7:53 AM << Home
