Friday, May 23, 2008
Friday Thoughts
So I was buying my usual lunch today in Larchmont; deer, avacado and fluff sandwich with a large tapioca boba. When suddenly I looked up at the sky and, in a moment of alcoholic clarity, it struck me.
The boobie hottie suckle thigh congregates with douche because of spectacle monkey dance.
So I turned to an old lady walking her dachshund by me on the sidewalk.
"Excuse me," I said.
She stopped and turned. "Yes?"
"The boobie hottie suckle thigh congregates with douche because of spectacle monkey dance."
A long moment passed before she spoke.
"Excuse me. I have to go now." It was all she said.
She walked away. But I knew right then that I'd saved another old lady walking her dachshund from eternal damnation.
Yes, I've said this before. And I'll say it again. Because the doucheface is poo. And the hotts need saving. Those are my words of wisdom on this Friday's eve.
Take them and bear them into the real world, my friends, fellow 'bag hunters and compatriots. And they will lead you to truth.
Comments:
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I would catch and release this bag, he isn't long enough yet.
Of course, if a strip search reveals star tats we gut him and serve him for dinner.
Of course, if a strip search reveals star tats we gut him and serve him for dinner.
# posted by 
: 2:50 PM
: 2:50 PM 
is that audrina patridge? that chick from that travesty against humanity tv show, the hills? i only know this cuz i read my wife's us weeklys when i shit. what better way to defecate that to read a magazine that is, in fact, feces.
i hope there is a whole chapter in db1's book dedicated to the boobie hottie suckle thigh.
i hope there is a whole chapter in db1's book dedicated to the boobie hottie suckle thigh.
"The boobie hottie suckle thigh congregates with douche because of spectacle monkey dance."
DB1, I think you've uncovered the Unifying Theory of Everything.
DB1, I think you've uncovered the Unifying Theory of Everything.
# posted by : 3:11 PM
: 3:11 PM
Audrina looks fat on here.... But here she looks naked!! YUMM!
http://wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3694
http://wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3694
# posted by : 3:32 PM
: 3:32 PM
Hills, schmills. I'd plant my flag on her hills. I'd let her run something up the flagpole. I'd give it a one gun salute. I'd use her mouth for an Old Glory hole.
It's Memorial Day weekend, and I'm patriotic like that.
dad's nads
It's Memorial Day weekend, and I'm patriotic like that.
dad's nads
# posted by : 4:05 PM
: 4:05 PM
Dachshunds hold the key to the douchebag's power. They use their cuteness, apparent innocence,and an arsenal of other Dachshund TOMFOOLERY to conceal their true forms. They are the gatekeepers of the douchebag underworld. As Cerberus guards the gates of hell, Dachshunds guard the gates of Jersey shore nightclubs. We must destroy the Dachshunds if we ever hope to destroy the douchebags. Damn cocaine is a hell of a drug.
# posted by : 4:22 PM
: 4:22 PM
DB1, that was just plain hilarious! I would love to see the old ladies face while you speak those exact words but for now I will be forced to settle for the minx in the douches grip.
# posted by : 4:48 PM
: 4:48 PM
Well, duh. What the hell did you think this was all about? I thought your incomprehension of the HCwDb was feigned. It is ALL about the spectacle monkey dance in that the more evolved the individual, the less likely she/he is to follow the HCwDb behavior mode. I think Darwin said that before I did.
Hey Johnny Cash Jr. you're as Rawk-&-Rollio as my wife's pink toaster. So drop the devil horns and get back to your Daddy's golf shoppe.... that inventory has got to be done by Tuesday... don't forget to count that shipment of new tees.
BTW when I referenced my wife's pink toaster.... I meant it is like really a fucking pink toaster.
Sidney Vicious would be sad.
- Douchey McSmurf
BTW when I referenced my wife's pink toaster.... I meant it is like really a fucking pink toaster.
Sidney Vicious would be sad.
- Douchey McSmurf
# posted by : 5:26 PM
: 5:26 PM
Yeah that's Audrina. I went to high school with that chick.
She's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier but she's not bad lookin and generally nice to people in person.
She gravitates towards complete douchebags tho, and her younger sister is even worse. (and a dumb whore)
This guys not as bad as the ones she liked in school.. I seem to recall a fucking 4'2" roidbag named Rob who wore eyeliner that was even more pitiful than this jackass.
The guy I don't know, but judging by the forehead grease and stylish mandana for wiping the aforementioned grease out of his eys, he smells more like poo than the feces encrusted hairs around my asshole.
Captain Abag
She's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier but she's not bad lookin and generally nice to people in person.
She gravitates towards complete douchebags tho, and her younger sister is even worse. (and a dumb whore)
This guys not as bad as the ones she liked in school.. I seem to recall a fucking 4'2" roidbag named Rob who wore eyeliner that was even more pitiful than this jackass.
The guy I don't know, but judging by the forehead grease and stylish mandana for wiping the aforementioned grease out of his eys, he smells more like poo than the feces encrusted hairs around my asshole.
Captain Abag
# posted by : 5:32 PM
: 5:32 PM
It would be so much easier to tolerate douchebags if there was a law that allowed us to kill them on sight.
# posted by : 9:51 PM
: 9:51 PM
"The boobie hottie suckle thigh congregates with douche because of spectacle monkey dance."
I'd pay money to have that on a t shirt. And below the text is a black and white picture of Bra!!. It would sell millions!
I'd pay money to have that on a t shirt. And below the text is a black and white picture of Bra!!. It would sell millions!
# posted by : 10:07 PM
: 10:07 PM
I want that dachshund to pinch a loaf on Porcupine's head. The douchebag wouldn't feel it because his razor-sharp spikes would spear the feces before it touched him, and he already smells of poo and Axe anyway.
Wait, did I say "and Axe"? Sorry.....
Wait, did I say "and Axe"? Sorry.....
As I prepare to leave for work, I study the Haiku, and come up with my first:
Flames top short sideburns
Evil eyes point at other
Let go the Hott, Choad
I'll get better
'Ol Bagnanimous
Flames top short sideburns
Evil eyes point at other
Let go the Hott, Choad
I'll get better
'Ol Bagnanimous
# posted by : 1:37 AM
: 1:37 AM
not much douche on Larchmont, more artfag & tatted hipsters... oh & old ladies walking dachshunds pretending not to know about the spectacle monkey dance.
# posted by : 1:26 PM
: 1:26 PM
This guy is actually her Audrina's brother. I found that out after visiting her MySpace page. He does bare a slight resemblance to Jeremy Piven, a really douchey version of him anyway.
http://www.laineygossip.com/pics/jeremy%20emmy%203%20aug06.jpg
http://www.laineygossip.com/pics/jeremy%20emmy%203%20aug06.jpg
# posted by : 5:38 PM
: 5:38 PM
Looks like that glaze eyed slag from the Hills audrina. i only know because sometimes i watch the show. why? because i'm a loser.
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# posted by : 9:53 PM
: 9:53 PM << Home
