Momma always said that if you can't say anything good...
 

the black lights in the club exposed Carlos for what he really is. a chronic masturbater.
 

Much to Carlos' embarrassment, the black lights of Club Fusion revealed multiple protein stains deposited by his lover the night before.
 

damn pfah. spot on.
 

Juan the AIrbrushed Playa, along with his Mom and younger sister Karen, takes a moment to pose for a family photo.

- Douchey Smurf
 

The Groper becomes the Gropee as Carlos snuggles up with a pair of European Transsexuals.
 

Juan's Airbrushing: Doing trannies since 1985.
 

damn D.S....you even used "juan"
 

Try to guess which one of these 3 girls is butch.
 

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Because Sally was a frequent flier at Plastic Surgeon "R" Us, she decided to get her asshole bleached. Unfortunately, they only got his jeans.
*rimshot*
 

Buy a ridiculous matching hat/shirt combo and we'll throw in Helga and Olga in for free. Avaialable only at your local HottMart.
 

There is only one penis in this picture and it's not where you think it is.
 

the bastard son of Carmen Miranda and Barry Manilow continues to piss away his inheritance on Icelandic hookers and blow.
 

@bcs....great minds, eh?
 

Gender modification surgery is expensive- but by pooling their funds Andy, Matt and Jeff are 2/3rds towards their shared goals.
 

Little did Carlos know that Inga and Helga were part of an elite Finnish Douche Extermination squad. It was to be a quick and clean job, but before executing him, Inga disarticulated Carlos' hand as punishment for touching her butt.
 

Leopards and douchebags and trannies, oh my.
 

Leopards and douchebags and trannies, oh my.
 

After a cool $17 day of selling bagged oranges on Wilshire, Paco donned his finest hat and headed to Club Moscow for the Morrissey Review and All Tranny Dance Team.
 

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Jocelyn Wildenstein and Pancho sitting in a tree, doing a threesome with a huge Tranny.
 

Juan texted his boys to brag about a menage a trois he was going to be in. Little did he know it would actually be a Devil's threesome.
 

Im too hung over to be clever.......

The guys got Jizz all over his jeans, enough said
 

Juan couldn't get enough when Inga finger painted his shirt. But then he realized Inga wasn't using "her" finger.
 

Clown Boxing with Leopards
 

Adolpho proudly poses with the two cougars he picked up at Club Suburbia last week.
 

Dhanesh Patel hits the New Deli lottery for 10,000,000 rupies and blows it all on Grey Goose,Ed Hardy t shirts and transsexual hookers

"I love your American Freedoms!"
 

Juan savored his victory in the 2008 Gay Pride Paintball Blow-out by posing with the President and Treasurer of "Fannies for Trannies".
 

Nino wondered to himmself if it was a Euro thing that his two dates had such furry backs.
 

After his wrestling match with Tammy Faye Baker Paulo posed with Jack Palance and Jeff Daniels in drag.

Then he woke up.
 

Ilsa: She-Man of the S.S. (shit-stained sheets).
 

After ruining his finest pair of acid-washed jeans, Rudolfo swore never again to store bleach in his Grey Goose bottle.
 

Enga said to Ilsa: "Look, I think something has come between us. Ewww. Literally".
 

After accidentally butting his head and lower left chest area into Amy Winehouse's makeup jar, Carlos consoled himself by traveling to Finland...

... where he immediately made "friends" with a certain "Tom of Finland".
 

"Mom, please tell me this douchebag is not touching your nicely preserved cougar ass. Please? We already have lost 2 gardeners and a poolboy like this."
 

Bi-cultural douchebaggery at its finest (or worst).
 

Juan and the Trannies before the steamy attic shower at Darksock's.
 

Carlos was very excited when he met who he thought were the "We Live Together" girls. Imagine his surprise when he realized that these two were for a different "niche market."
 

Sadly for Armando, the Make A Wish foundation could not actually guarantee any sexual favors at the close of his "special evening" and the clothes were placed back into the painting crew's truck before they arrived in the morning.
 

"I am God of Airbrushing. And over trannies I reign SUPREME!"
 

"Poor Jose didn't know there was a market for formaldehyde... until now."
 

"Excited about the recent California Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, Ellen Degeneres got a deep tan, crazy hat with matching shirt, and became a polygamist."
 

"This is what happens when you give retards fingerpaint."
 

"As a young boy in Venezuela, Pedro always fantasized about moving to America, the Promise Land, and finding untold riches, beautiful women, and the finer things in life."

However, Pedro's dream took a horrible turn when he realized he could only find employment at a cow insemination lab as a "runner" and hooked up with a slutty Kelly Rippa (left) and a whorish vintage Julia Duffy from 'Newhart' circa 1982."
 

"Illegal Immigrants - dressing like retards and cumming their pants since 2008."
 

Modern art:

"Black Dress, Pink Bra, Green Card."
 

Manuel proudly displayed his colonoscopy images as he took the nurses out for cocktails that evening.
 

After one week at the AVN awards; Rico ran outta lube and was badly in need of new pants.
"Jesus juice on my pants, that'll never come out"
 

In international news, a trade deal was formalized in the UN's exclusive strip club that would ensure the flow of Grey Goose to starving villagers in Guatemala.
 

Conveniently, the runners-up in the John Stamos and Christina Applegate look-alike contests were able to console each other following their narrow, but still crushing, defeats.
 

At the annual "Save-A-Douche" charity pal, cougars Verminda (left) and Frankie (right) have their pictures taken with Juan. Juan was a wild douchebag, but was lured in from the wild with garish clothing and Axe scented peanut butter sandwiches to help promote the cause. Won't you please help? Send your donations to . . .
 

After Kelly Ripa spilled popcorn all over her shirt, she decided to have a threesome with that big chick from "3rd Rock From the Sun" and the retarded airbrush kid from the shrine circus. I love this country.
 

Come on down to Juan's Tavern, where a shot and a beer can can get you an interesting conversation with Pat and Sam.
 

Douche Goldblum, his mom and the Amazon Hott
 

M. Night Shyamalan continues his narcissistic trend of casting himself in his own movies, this time as the owner of The Man Hole nightclub in his newest film, THE PACKAGE. Once again, the only people that didn't see the ending coming were the cast.
 

Ah, the old, mother, daughter threesome. And, unlike that time with the Judds, I'd actually hit the daughter this time.

Where are all these strip clubs that participating in the Make a Wish Foundation?

dad's nads
 

"2 Trannies - 1 Douche."

- el doucharchi
 

M. Knight Shamalayn exposed as chronic masturbator
 

After spending the afternoon at the airbrush booth in the flea market, Gerardo's lil' bro couldn't wait to break out the new ensemble at the hottest club in Rio De Janeiro---Club Poo. Or Not Chicks W/ Douche Bag. Either or.
 

Todays mashup featuring pfah @ bcs to caption this pic....

chronic masturbater = spot on.

I like rare leopard spotted cougars.
 

hooker on the left, hott on the right, nick cannons down syndrome half brother douche in the middle
 

"Illegal Immigrants - dressing like retards and cumming their pants since 2008."

LO-fuckin'-L....Can't top that, but I'll try for runner-up status here:

1) Feeling the bulges gracing each of his outer thighs, Raheem began to wonder if American women were "built a lil different."

2) At the Tuesday Night Tranny Cum-Off, Raheem was impressed with the skills of "color-squirt" tranny on his right and her ability to simulate an air-brushing on his scrote cap and 'bag shirt...Squirt-tranny on his left was admired by Raheem for her more traditional "spot the denim" skills

Bill O'Douchie "The NO CHOAD zone"
 

Carlos thinks he's gettin' some blonde strange tonight. He isn't. He will take the subway back to his 3rd floor walk up, he'll flop on the bed and flagellate his teeny tiny little purple helmeted love nazi until he passes out in a vast pool of his own piss from all the Coors Light he drank that night.
 

" Hi we are shit"
 

Enrique's first night out on cougar patrol was going well.
 

Botox Barb on the left with MILFy McMiddle-Age Muffy frequent club Boom-Boom on Thrusday nights for the two for one ladies night cocktails. Of course they run into Tilty who thinks all older chicks are hot.
 

whats good maxim girl.......my name is arturo from washington heights, ny and if your not familiar with the area its home to little dominican republic....but i just watched your little "you tube" of you and your ride and must say ive been impressed with you since customenterprise.com which i really miss, cause i was able to get anything i needed fast and quick and not feeling like an old women looking for every sale items at walgreens but everything at my dispossal. O wow, how rude of me whats your name if i may ask? I took a notice that you do your things to your rides, did you attend mechanic skool? i couldnt help notice that you said cats love you at first cause your such a car funatic but step off when they find out your truly a fly grease monkey with a nipty physic....yup ja tu sabe! i have a babyblue drop maxima......which was the original name for her but since the dmv dont make plate that long.....lol i decided to name her after the blk i grew up which is called macnish in queens.......aka MAC4LIFE.......but everyone think im just some cat who thinks he's that fly....lol u be the judge of that on myspace mac4life@tmail.com. Well hopefully you would had got to this point and say damn, im actually reading this long message...lol need some pointer on doing things to my ride like for instance...where did you get those diamond plate for the floor of the car? and do you get that mark on the side of your kicks especially your right foot when your driving....shit drives me nuts, cant rock my fresh pair of uptowns or timb's cuz they get scuffed up on the corner of my shoe....i guess a real driving foot.......hit me back on myspace or here which ever is easier....much love Arturo from the City that never Sleeps......