Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Wednesday Limerick
It's very very very very cold out,
You can tell by the douchey-ass sprout,
Yes the yellow nipple,
On Scrotey McWhipple,
Almost distracts from the Sexy Blonde Patsy Kensit Shout-Out.
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Blondie went out of the house
After doing one button on her blouse
"I think that these two
Should be proudly in view.
Then about my face, no one will grouse."
After doing one button on her blouse
"I think that these two
Should be proudly in view.
Then about my face, no one will grouse."
shaved head and a shit tribal tatt,
screams for a whack from my new baseball bat,
then the hott i could steal,
cause she's got some appeal,
and that, as they say, would be that
screams for a whack from my new baseball bat,
then the hott i could steal,
cause she's got some appeal,
and that, as they say, would be that
At a fair in an old parking lot
a douchebag encountered a hott
his bunny tee, frightening
faggy tattoos of lightning
and an earring that's stolen, not bought.
a douchebag encountered a hott
his bunny tee, frightening
faggy tattoos of lightning
and an earring that's stolen, not bought.
# posted by 
: 11:00 AM
: 11:00 AM
A vacant-eyed douche gives out tips:
"Apply ice to your pointy man nips!
They'll get nice and hard
But your chick might be scarred
When you rub on her and her shirt rips."
"Apply ice to your pointy man nips!
They'll get nice and hard
But your chick might be scarred
When you rub on her and her shirt rips."
wandring round one day at coachella,
spied this 'bag in his shirt colored yella,
though his hott's not the best,
well, she's got some great breasts,
and that's just good enough for this fella.
spied this 'bag in his shirt colored yella,
though his hott's not the best,
well, she's got some great breasts,
and that's just good enough for this fella.
at county fair hott blonde wears sweater too small,
doesn’t mind exposing her chest bombs to all,
shirt with D. Darko’s rabbit,
hair gelled out of habit,
I’d love to smash his face in brick wall.
doesn’t mind exposing her chest bombs to all,
shirt with D. Darko’s rabbit,
hair gelled out of habit,
I’d love to smash his face in brick wall.
# posted by : 11:05 AM
: 11:05 AM
This broad is really not hot
Like Jenny McCarthy's face starting to rot
The dike in the yellow
is really a fellow?
I pegged him for having a twat
-Arkansas Dave
Like Jenny McCarthy's face starting to rot
The dike in the yellow
is really a fellow?
I pegged him for having a twat
-Arkansas Dave
# posted by : 11:08 AM
: 11:08 AM
Ink Douche was sporting a nipple
And offered Fun Bags a tipple
He leaned on her chest
For a Jello-boob fest
Watching them sway and ripple.
And offered Fun Bags a tipple
He leaned on her chest
For a Jello-boob fest
Watching them sway and ripple.
A blondie with rack quite gigantic
sent the douchebags a-scrambling, frantic
but one stuck it out
thought he'd nail her, no doubt
but let us not argue semantics.
sent the douchebags a-scrambling, frantic
but one stuck it out
thought he'd nail her, no doubt
but let us not argue semantics.
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
a faux-hawk at the renaissance fair,
means this douchebag had just lost a dare,
may some d&d dork,
stab his eye with a spork,
if he died, i think no one would care.
means this douchebag had just lost a dare,
may some d&d dork,
stab his eye with a spork,
if he died, i think no one would care.
"Yo Shawty you lookin' fierce;
I dig how yo lip be all pierced".
She swung him her udders
Cuz she was wet like hot butter
For her face though he'll need five more beers.
I dig how yo lip be all pierced".
She swung him her udders
Cuz she was wet like hot butter
For her face though he'll need five more beers.
These two are both quite perforated;
sporting piercings and tatt decorated.
But I spot a bright thing,
on his ear, Pfah's ring
from his cock that Tatt Choad just fellated.
sporting piercings and tatt decorated.
But I spot a bright thing,
on his ear, Pfah's ring
from his cock that Tatt Choad just fellated.
A Douche with big black tribal tattoo
rubbed through his hair a hand full of goo
six sets of sixty , three reps of ten
there is just no telling where that cleavage has been.
rubbed through his hair a hand full of goo
six sets of sixty , three reps of ten
there is just no telling where that cleavage has been.
# posted by : 11:14 AM
: 11:14 AM
This hott is right up my alley
Her cleavite provides a generous valley
Into which I'd put my face
Snuggled right between the lace
For hours, there I would dally
Her cleavite provides a generous valley
Into which I'd put my face
Snuggled right between the lace
For hours, there I would dally
His shirt is tighter than his slut
Which is in turn tighter than his butt
Because while in prison
He acquired taste for jism
And became a biter of man-nut.
Which is in turn tighter than his butt
Because while in prison
He acquired taste for jism
And became a biter of man-nut.
"Yo, I roll with the Death Bunny!
What, you think my shirt is funny?"
The Bleeth said, "No way!
I'll hang with you all day!
But first, in my bra, stuff some money."
What, you think my shirt is funny?"
The Bleeth said, "No way!
I'll hang with you all day!
But first, in my bra, stuff some money."
Faggy fuck-stick with his lass
His nipples like rocks could cut glass
No doubt a small crank
does not please this skank
He'd probably rather poke me in the ass.
His nipples like rocks could cut glass
No doubt a small crank
does not please this skank
He'd probably rather poke me in the ass.
His scalp sports trails left by termites
That jumped ship to his scalp on Gay Night
From sucking Woody Woodpecker
Like a Shop Vac (Black and Decker)
And now he hides being gay behind Cleavite
That jumped ship to his scalp on Gay Night
From sucking Woody Woodpecker
Like a Shop Vac (Black and Decker)
And now he hides being gay behind Cleavite
Darko rabbit tee off the rack from WalMart,
Germanic blonde with tits out is a tart.
Proud of the tats on his back,
Height for a man he does lack.
Oh! Fun bag implants are true works of art!
Germanic blonde with tits out is a tart.
Proud of the tats on his back,
Height for a man he does lack.
Oh! Fun bag implants are true works of art!
# posted by : 11:24 AM
: 11:24 AM
there once was an illinois farmer
whose daughter came up a charmer
but to bags she clung
and it dropped her a rung
knowing that this douche could smarm her
whose daughter came up a charmer
but to bags she clung
and it dropped her a rung
knowing that this douche could smarm her
# posted by : 11:27 AM
: 11:27 AM
They've both been hit in the face
domestic violence likely the case
after playing with her rack
they will go back
to the mobile and meth freebase
domestic violence likely the case
after playing with her rack
they will go back
to the mobile and meth freebase
There once was a 'bag who went to a street fair.
But the night before, someone switched his shampoo with Nair.
The result was messy.
But that didn't bother Bessy.
He was a big improvement over her cousin Blair.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
But the night before, someone switched his shampoo with Nair.
The result was messy.
But that didn't bother Bessy.
He was a big improvement over her cousin Blair.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 11:30 AM
: 11:30 AM
her tits, once so small, caused heartache,
oh the teasing was all she could take,
for the boys were quite mean,
till she got the saline,
now her back, it is starting to ache.
oh the teasing was all she could take,
for the boys were quite mean,
till she got the saline,
now her back, it is starting to ache.
Mr. White limericks of bras and stuffed money,
Her mountains he won’t cover in honey.
No, honey’s too dirty.
She deserves something squirty.
Water games are what I think’s more funny!
Her mountains he won’t cover in honey.
No, honey’s too dirty.
She deserves something squirty.
Water games are what I think’s more funny!
# posted by : 11:36 AM
: 11:36 AM
Sweet Mary those cans are perfection
Of course now I have an erection
That douchebag is gay
So just send him away
And I'll give you a sticky confection
Of course now I have an erection
That douchebag is gay
So just send him away
And I'll give you a sticky confection
# posted by : 11:41 AM
: 11:41 AM
these two, they deserve one another,
she's high maint, and i'm sure she will smother,
there's no way to pretend,
it will soon be the end,
of mike stipe's little roided-up brother
she's high maint, and i'm sure she will smother,
there's no way to pretend,
it will soon be the end,
of mike stipe's little roided-up brother
she's sporting 450 cc's
of power to no doubt please
his bike has the same
but there its a shame
cause his hog is a dog with fleas
of power to no doubt please
his bike has the same
but there its a shame
cause his hog is a dog with fleas
# posted by : 11:44 AM
: 11:44 AM
Ferris, you correctly deduce
This chick doesn't deserve my man juice
But if I have a few beers
And a couple quick leers
From her breasts, my urine, will sluice.
This chick doesn't deserve my man juice
But if I have a few beers
And a couple quick leers
From her breasts, my urine, will sluice.
a playboy shirt
is fine on a skirt
real men need more
than art-porn bore
spread pink if you want me to squirt
is fine on a skirt
real men need more
than art-porn bore
spread pink if you want me to squirt
# posted by : 11:54 AM
: 11:54 AM
Her bra is made out of pressed tin
To keep her big ta-tas strapped in.
If this garment does pop
She'll go to a machine shop
And get one welded straight to her skin.
To keep her big ta-tas strapped in.
If this garment does pop
She'll go to a machine shop
And get one welded straight to her skin.
only way she gets rolled in the hay,
is to put her big tits on display,
then the boys come a runnin,
to her bags, made for funnin,
and chew off their own arm the next day!
is to put her big tits on display,
then the boys come a runnin,
to her bags, made for funnin,
and chew off their own arm the next day!
her choice of attire confounds
much as i like her fun mounds
i can't help but think
when worn out to drink
the hubub she causes resounds
much as i like her fun mounds
i can't help but think
when worn out to drink
the hubub she causes resounds
# posted by : 12:04 PM
: 12:04 PM
A bleeth named Carletta Scarpini,
with her funbags, attracted a weenie,
the flesh stretched in lace,
made up for her face,
For she looked like Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini
with her funbags, attracted a weenie,
the flesh stretched in lace,
made up for her face,
For she looked like Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini
she's as worn as a bag of mix tapes,
and prefers to hang out with such apes,
and if you check her hairline,
there's a sure-as-shit sign,
that her carpet does not match her drapes!
and prefers to hang out with such apes,
and if you check her hairline,
there's a sure-as-shit sign,
that her carpet does not match her drapes!
They went to a middle school fair
And caused all the parents a scare
She took off her shirt
When he started to flirt
With a 12-year-old girl who's named Claire.
And caused all the parents a scare
She took off her shirt
When he started to flirt
With a 12-year-old girl who's named Claire.
There once was a douchebag named Scott,
Who thought that his tattoos were hot,
He met a girl with nice teats,
But whose face was quite beat,
And played blackjack in the church parking lot.
Who thought that his tattoos were hot,
He met a girl with nice teats,
But whose face was quite beat,
And played blackjack in the church parking lot.
# posted by : 12:29 PM
: 12:29 PM
This bimbette still deserves some relief,
I'd hope more enduring than brief,
She'd ride up and down
on my purple meatclown
and to end; a cacophonous qweef
I'd hope more enduring than brief,
She'd ride up and down
on my purple meatclown
and to end; a cacophonous qweef
I believe that her name is Amy
She was featured quite prominently
In a new porno mag
That would feature this hag
Bags Over Their Heads, it's monthly.
She was featured quite prominently
In a new porno mag
That would feature this hag
Bags Over Their Heads, it's monthly.
I hate limericks. And poetry. But even more, I hate men's protruding nipples and bas-relief hair messages. Kill it before it strikes again. Then send the beetle-brow sexy blonde hott to my room, in a nurse's outfit. STAT.
# posted by : 12:43 PM
: 12:43 PM
Boob boobies boob boobies boob boob,
Boob boobies boob boobies boob boob,
Boob boob boobies boob,
Boob boobies boob boob,
Boob boobies boob boobies boob boob!
douche equis
Boob boobies boob boobies boob boob,
Boob boob boobies boob,
Boob boobies boob boob,
Boob boobies boob boobies boob boob!
douche equis
# posted by : 12:45 PM
: 12:45 PM
Junior here don't take no crap
Leering carnies beware, you'll get slapped
Shaved head is denoting
His rage is free floating
Why? He can't grow a chin strap.
Leering carnies beware, you'll get slapped
Shaved head is denoting
His rage is free floating
Why? He can't grow a chin strap.
Tammy and Darryl went to the fair,
To show off her big tits and also his hair,
They rolled down the block,
In his shitty Iroc,
If only they'd crashed on the way there.
To show off her big tits and also his hair,
They rolled down the block,
In his shitty Iroc,
If only they'd crashed on the way there.
# posted by : 12:58 PM
: 12:58 PM
This douche damn near made me shat
He'll clearly never wear hats
He wants them to stare
At his greasy douche hair
Shaved to match his gay tribal tats
(yeah, I suck at this - is she wearing that sweater right or is this yet another new fad that's hammering home the reality of my advancing age and irrelevency as far as girls like this are concerned? My god I want to free those things from their male-oppressor prison - be free, boobies! be free!)
He'll clearly never wear hats
He wants them to stare
At his greasy douche hair
Shaved to match his gay tribal tats
(yeah, I suck at this - is she wearing that sweater right or is this yet another new fad that's hammering home the reality of my advancing age and irrelevency as far as girls like this are concerned? My god I want to free those things from their male-oppressor prison - be free, boobies! be free!)
Dude is all pumped and tweezed
All who walk by are pleased
Not with his act
Which is lame, in fact
But with her outfit all slutty and sleezed
All who walk by are pleased
Not with his act
Which is lame, in fact
But with her outfit all slutty and sleezed
Dark is inspired by nipple
I'm chuckling and losing my gripple
She does give life
With the fire I'm rife
But I can't quit create the salt dripple
I'm chuckling and losing my gripple
She does give life
With the fire I'm rife
But I can't quit create the salt dripple
Its true some chix have no taste
But those tits are a godawful waste
For a tool who is gay
Because they could sway
Up high to cover that butta face
But those tits are a godawful waste
For a tool who is gay
Because they could sway
Up high to cover that butta face
We limerick while doing our jobs,
In secret, perverse rhyming slobs,
I'd roll her on dorsal
and drop a quick morsel
A man-chip between the huge knobs
In secret, perverse rhyming slobs,
I'd roll her on dorsal
and drop a quick morsel
A man-chip between the huge knobs
Mr Bigalow wins todays prize
As raunchiest of all us guys
For the rhyme he spun
Of a noise cacaphun
Emanating from twixt her hot thighs
As raunchiest of all us guys
For the rhyme he spun
Of a noise cacaphun
Emanating from twixt her hot thighs
There once was a choad from Berlin,
unable to grow strap of chin,
along came fembot,
her face not so hot,
but her breasts he did smother in quim!
unable to grow strap of chin,
along came fembot,
her face not so hot,
but her breasts he did smother in quim!
# posted by : 5:15 PM
: 5:15 PM
My god that girl's face is busted. I bet there is a hell of a roast beef sammich complete with mayo hidden below.
# posted by : 5:53 PM
: 5:53 PM
I once knew a bunny shirt fellow
Who's undies in front were quite yellow
He'd sit at the movies
While I blew goo on his girls' boobies
And she'd hump me like playin the cello!
Who's undies in front were quite yellow
He'd sit at the movies
While I blew goo on his girls' boobies
And she'd hump me like playin the cello!
# posted by : 6:34 PM
: 6:34 PM
Limericks aren't my thing so much as the Friday Haiku, or the "Fraiku," if you will.
Nice call on the Patsy Kensit hott, DB1. She does somewhat resemble her. And, oh my god, that outfit is basically a man's dream come true. Showing off heaps of cleavage/cleavite but still leaving a lot to the imagination. I love how the shirt comes together at the top and the straining of the fabric around the button mirrors the straining of the fabric in my pants.
Nice call on the Patsy Kensit hott, DB1. She does somewhat resemble her. And, oh my god, that outfit is basically a man's dream come true. Showing off heaps of cleavage/cleavite but still leaving a lot to the imagination. I love how the shirt comes together at the top and the straining of the fabric around the button mirrors the straining of the fabric in my pants.
# posted by : 7:09 PM
: 7:09 PM
The landscaped noggin, man-nipple, and godawful tribal tatts -- along with her vacuous stare coming from a face that looks beat before the age of 24 -- knocked the limerick right outta me.
Amateur pr0nstars?
The bountiful chichis, however, have given me hope.
Amateur pr0nstars?
The bountiful chichis, however, have given me hope.
Alright.
I think I know this kid.
We used to be friends in like 2001-2003. His name is Chris, from New Jersey.
The tattoo is the only thing throwing me off. He was always a poseur, so I'm assuming getting a bitch ass tattoo like that makes sense.
Poor kid.
I think I know this kid.
We used to be friends in like 2001-2003. His name is Chris, from New Jersey.
The tattoo is the only thing throwing me off. He was always a poseur, so I'm assuming getting a bitch ass tattoo like that makes sense.
Poor kid.
# posted by : 4:23 AM
: 4:23 AM
I must salute her father for providing her with a couple of wonderful "presents" for her 18th birthday. Too bad they couldnt do some work a little higher up while they were at it.
# posted by : 5:32 AM
: 5:32 AM
In a game of boobies-go-seak
Beneath her top button I did peak
To Douchebag with yellow
My right fist said hello
And away with the hott I did sneak
Beneath her top button I did peak
To Douchebag with yellow
My right fist said hello
And away with the hott I did sneak
# posted by : 9:07 AM
: 9:07 AM
Are you having troubles explaining
Why this dumb blonde finds him entertaining?
Then just follow my gaze
The side of his head's a maze
And she's but a three-year-old in training.
Why this dumb blonde finds him entertaining?
Then just follow my gaze
The side of his head's a maze
And she's but a three-year-old in training.
# posted by : 9:22 AM
: 9:22 AM
Douchebag with lame tattoo,
Hott blondie please tell him you're through.
And let me know well ahead
If you're fierce in bed
So I'll be prepared for "taming the shrew."
Hott blondie please tell him you're through.
And let me know well ahead
If you're fierce in bed
So I'll be prepared for "taming the shrew."
# posted by : 9:32 AM
: 9:32 AM
My limerick is hours belated
Too busy from work unabated
To say I was pissed
Would top off the list
Of things you would call understated
Too busy from work unabated
To say I was pissed
Would top off the list
Of things you would call understated
It's not meant as a joke or a jibe
But that tatt that comes from a tribe
Is not that well done
Did is come from a gun
For 99 bucks at Earl Scheib?
But that tatt that comes from a tribe
Is not that well done
Did is come from a gun
For 99 bucks at Earl Scheib?
Her boobs are getting my swell on
like his shirt is getting bad smell on
If she needs such attention
I have an invention:
A cone bra with 46 bells on.
like his shirt is getting bad smell on
If she needs such attention
I have an invention:
A cone bra with 46 bells on.
At the state fair a 'bag named Barney
Flirted with a chick named Marney
He was smooth and finessed
But she was unimpressed
By his job as a Tilt-a-Whirl carney
Flirted with a chick named Marney
He was smooth and finessed
But she was unimpressed
By his job as a Tilt-a-Whirl carney
This hottie has boobs like McCarthy, Jenny
His neurons are firing, but not too many
With tatts and tight shirt
An unsufferable flirt
Some bastards should kill him like SouthPark's Kenny
(Lines 1,2, and 5 have 4 metrical feet instead of the normal 3, but at least it's consistent)
His neurons are firing, but not too many
With tatts and tight shirt
An unsufferable flirt
Some bastards should kill him like SouthPark's Kenny
(Lines 1,2, and 5 have 4 metrical feet instead of the normal 3, but at least it's consistent)
Her boobs are as big as her head.
His yellow shirt makes me see red.
I want to smash this lemon
As much as an imam from Yemen.
Let's stone him until he drops dead.
His yellow shirt makes me see red.
I want to smash this lemon
As much as an imam from Yemen.
Let's stone him until he drops dead.
# posted by : 4:47 PM
: 4:47 PM
*steps outside of limerick format for a second*
They BOTH look like the dead housewife from Desperate Housewives. WTF?
That is all.
*steps back into format*
They BOTH look like the dead housewife from Desperate Housewives. WTF?
That is all.
*steps back into format*
# posted by : 10:17 AM
: 10:17 AM
She's not hot, she looks like Beavis and her boobs are as crooked as his are. Did anyone else think that they swapped shirts at first?
# posted by : 12:44 PM
: 12:44 PM
A boy with a tribal tattoo
Said "In sluts I love to spoo."
It doesn't seem fair,
That he'll grab that fine pair.
But that's exactly what he'll fuckin' do.
Post a Comment
Said "In sluts I love to spoo."
It doesn't seem fair,
That he'll grab that fine pair.
But that's exactly what he'll fuckin' do.
# posted by : 4:37 PM
: 4:37 PM << Home
