Quick, both of them are in the same place!!!

Where's an IED when you need one?
 

looks like he's trying to do the retarded spider and failing miserably at it, like he does at all things other than being an epic douche and knocking up stupid bimbos.

Egads! I just had a sobering thought:

What if they breed with each other!?!?
 

Look, I'm not claiming Paris Hilton is the hottest woman ever, but if she were an unknown, no one would look at this picture and say she was a douchette. She's not without physical charms; a brain, a conscience, a heart - those are the things she lacks.
 

only Kevin Federline would use his ankle monitor as a rosary
 

baguette or no, I would turn her into a human wheelbarrow.... & run a marathon!
 

For The Love of Odin DB1 It's Friday afternoon for crying out loud. Federline AND Paris?!! Isn't displaying both of them in a single photo against the Geneva Conventions? I hope angry staffers from the ICRC show up at your doorstep at 8:00 AM tomorrow morning while your skull is still cleaving itself into mincemeat from tonight's Train Wreckage as your penance for this sin.

Why are you still making us suffer for anon's request for soul crushing? Enough already. I'd like to be able to sleep this weekend without feverish nightmares of these two cultural succubi haunting my REM sleep.

Actually Anon 11:52, her douche baguette face tells us everything we need to know about P. Hilt - vacuous, self-entitled and over inflated sense of self-importance. If even you just landed here from Fly Teeth's planet you'd instantly recognize her for the bleethed out twat she is.
 

Paris Hilton is ugly as sin. She makes me sick, more ill than Borat in a mankini. I tried to look for something attractive about this woman, because I am an artist. But she is a skinny rack of bones, and has a mis-shaped melon, a head worthy of a Primus video.
 

@anon 11:52

Not without physical charms? Well, maybe if you're a pedophile with a penchant for 11-year old boys. My male cat has larger breasts than her. Just think....anyone with her famly's money can 1) buy all the beauty they want (which doesnt excuse her fashion sense) and 2) buy all the praise they need. Operating in such rarified stratosphere is a great way to avoid any criticisn=m, and with no criticism, we get...her. Aaaand him. Oh, Kevin? Please step away fom the coke, you're starting to get rather skeletor-ish, and your hands are cramping. Please visit me in the LBC this week, I think theres a few folks around 15th & Pine that would love to see that mangled cockroach yer callin "wess ssyyyeeeeeeede".

And yes, she is a complete douchebag(ette). If she were a man she would grace the site logo.
 

Please. Show me a man who wouldn't hit that if it wasn't a herpes-ridden ratsnatch, and I'll show you a gaybag.
 

"Five millenia?" Don't tell me this is a fundamentalist Christian website? How about five hundred million years of human development?
 

having seen those pitiful excuses for boobies, the total lack of heiny and the 15 ribs I can count thru her top on each side of her, I would have to disagree with you there quixote..

Some men have standards that include not screwing stuckup women who are so damn boney it would hurt to do 'em.

3 pumps and she'd cut right thru my skin with those bladelike hip bones.

Someone get that bitch a sammich and make her eat the whole thing!
 

i see she has perfected a new look "pink steel"


(that was sarcasm by the way)

she gives that same stupid look in every posed picture she does


she maybe slightly retarded

we know he is
 

Wow. I can smell the crotch rot from here.
 

With your permission I'd like to cut his retarded fingers off one at a time, deep fry them and stuff them down the throat of that bullimic, diseased wench.
This is two rather large piles of fly encrusted, maggott crawling dog turds.
I will now adjourn to the bar.
 

I would so like to turn him into a pipe head.
And by pipe head I mean I would like to beat him in the forehead with a graphite ax-handle until i hear the woosh woosh of his blood flowing on the deck.
Can we have her sent Osama bin Laden and see if that will apease him. Sure she's not a virgin but he's got enough $$$ for her herpes meds.
 

with apologies to winston churchill, more sincere if he weren't after all brittish...
never in the course of bleeth-baggery have so many owed so much to just two
 

Somewhere unseen in this picture lurk STDs that the CDC is unaware of and has not yet identified.

Be very afraid.
 

I beg you:

"Mr. DB1, tear down that pic!"
 

I've been reading HCwDB for like a week now.

God it's so fucking great.

1) pictures of hot chicks
2) pictures of idiots
3) endless wit and ridicule, both pithy and verbose
4) beating dead horses ('hott', 'douchebag', 'bleeth' etc) so often and so hard that passers-by can't help but applaud

The amazing part of this all is that I find myself laughing at the reader comments as often as I do DB1's remarks.

Kudos to all
 

paris knows how to treat a cock, and i respect that. and by respect, i mean i'd like to put on a pair of steel-toe caterpillar boots and kick-fuck her till her vagina looked like cobain's head post-gunshot.

as for k-fed, i used to despise him until i saw that super bowl commercial where he made fun of himself. now i just slightly detest him. it's sad that he's the stable, respected parent...compared to the mess he once married.
 

WebMD uses this picture quite often. Between the 2, they are an encyclopedia of STD's.
 

I can't stand either of them. They both suck. Paris probably better than K-fed, although I haven't seen (and don't want to) his talents on display.
 

You know, perhaps his 30s will be his years of douchebag redemption. He gets a few points from me for being the saner one in the Britney saga.

Now the douchebitch on the right....
 

Oh shit, I just noticed the Westsyyyyde! gesture. Nevermind. Points taken away.
 

That reminds me of a joke.

What's the difference between Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton?

One of them is a vagina on legs that blights our culture and poisons the future with every breath, and the other is Paris Hilton.

ba-rum BUM kisssssssh! Be sure to try the veal! G'night!
 

Reinforcing the fact that L.A. is bag Mecca.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

i can feel them trying to rip my soul from my body and turn me into a baguette with their eyes. those hollow, dead, eyes. *shiver* just after the flash went off for this shot a tear in the fabric of reality opened by having this much douche in one place. lets hope it swallowed up much of southern california.
 

Ah, the second coming of Rick Salomon.
 

When did Kevin Federline turn into Ryan Seacrest?
 

K, Ewww.

Kevin Federline is one of the ebola monkeys of the Douche Virus. Paris Hilton... well... all I see is virus.
 

I hope that's a grenade he's holding and all you have to do is pull the string. I like how Paris is always sporting a stylish watch, even if it's not her own; even if it's on a midgets arm with dwarf fingers; even if she can't tell time. I would still bend her over in front of her parents and turn her into a butt-popsicle...
 

happy b-day to the brian wilson of doucheiness, k-fed
 

i see this picture and its inclusion here as an inevitability
so obbvious that when it happens i am actually stunned by the fact that i forgot how certain it was...like michael stipe leaving the closet, or when abe vigoda actually dies (fish refernce in leiu of actual fish, catholicism dies hard) so now looking at it i can't help but feel enervated by deja vu
 

I'd bang the bleeth right out of Paris and make that pussy Federbag watch me as he cried a puddle in the corner of my room at the comfort inn.

Next, after Paris had a mouthful of my nut sundae I would make her spit it in Federbag's face.

Last, I would punk him for his 8-ball and snort it off Paris' shaved beave as she moaned and asked, "do you really know DB1?"
 

I come home from work to see THIS? It's like twin daggers straight through my soul. I'll be calling in blind to work tomorrow ...
DB1, WHY?
 

What Paris really needs is a Holiday in Cambodia (just to import the punk rock thread),

As for K-Fed - beat on the twat with a baseball bat.
 

Woah, someone is jocking my steelo? There is only one Douche Quixote here my friend, and he is I and I am him. I'll forgive you this trespass as it is Good Friday, but let's not see that nonsense again.

As for Federline here, you've almost gotta give it up for him, he went from a complete nobody to um, well still a nobody, but a very rich nobody who got a piece of Britney Spears when it still meant something. So douchebag yes, but still, he deserves some props.

As for Ms. Hilton, it's too bad Conrad's asshole son Barron sued to get the $335 million Conrad had willed to the Catholic Church. If that event doesn't happen, Paris Hilton is just some random blonde girl that nobody cares about. So an honorary "fuck you" to Barron Hilton.
 

Federbag representing westside? u deserve a westsider's lead slug up your 'bag! "these two make me want to spray Lysol into my eyes while scrubbing my crotch with a wire brush." well said db1!
 

Since I missed yesterday's action, I'd just like to offer belated congrats on the two year anniversary, DB1. Many solemn thanks for all your work.

Paris Hilton. Pfff. What a talentless and vapid waste of a human.
 

I know I'm in the minority, but I think she's super hot. There's a pretty ridiculous body under the hideous crap she wears.

I agree with anon 11:52. If she weren't famous, she'd be as fuckable as any other chick.
 

As much as I hate Federbag, I will agree with a few others that he has done what any of us would have killed to do and that is put two babies in Britney and snake half her fortune. As much as I hate him, I give him credit for that and still revel in the fact that he is currently like 400 pounds.

As for Paris, I think this photo is almost a year old as it is. What we need to do is stop bickering amongst each other, as she admitted on one of her videos that she gave a guy herpes. We need to recognize and attack her new status as the girlfriend of the uber-faux-punk-douche Benji Madden. Good Charlotte should have been called out a long time ago. Now the two key members are in serious relationships with everything we stand against, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.

Call me crazy, but those are two pussies a starving pit bull wouldn't attack.
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

I went too far in my comment. Just know that it involved Vanilla Ice AND Grieco. God forgive me.

I'd do Paris Hilton, and somehow use buttered baguettes for added irony.
 

@bag queen

Thanks for my first ever Primus video... I think you just ruined my brain for the rest of the day.
 

Scum on feet,
Nuff said
 

Sorry guys- I must disagree on this one. I've always thought of Paris as a misunderstood little girl and you know how I loves me them misunderstood little girls. I would double-bag though for sure. As far as this douche- I wouldn't let him park my car.
 

nice pose Paris. You annoy me. I did like your head game in that video though.

K-Fed, quit with the 2 fingers twisted in the middle. Westside Connec was the hit back in '96 son.

The mainstream dub, 'bag gesture #273.
 

He's not doing a "westside" hand sign, he's showing what he does once he's in her up to his wristwatch.

They don't have a sex tape out but you can recreate the act by throwing a vienna sausage down an open sewer manhole.
 

darksock from what i read these high class ladies actually take the bones out of hams and much like their hair weaves have the deboned ham weaved into their vag so one has a semblance of friction, and a handy snack
 

Malodorous secretions.

Hey, I don't know... It just popped into my head.

By the way - these two specks of dried donkey bile get enough press elsewhere. Unless they're going to be featured in the first episode of "Celebrity Autopsy" I'm not really interested.
 

Somehow you just know that the two of them are wearing the same La Perla bra with matching panties.
 

@ Newman's Own:

You just gave me an Awesome Idea!

Be right back.
 

This pic is unworthy! She is NOT HOT...she is a total skank!
 

This pic is unworthy! She is NOT HOT...she is a total skank!
 

I usually find myself wanting to injure most of the dudes in the pics on this site, haha, but these two are meant to be together. The rich stupid girl and the con artist! lol.

best wordpress blogs
 

Gee, anon 12:18, thanks for again slipping in a link to your asswipe best wordpress blogs site several times over the last few posts. Now go force a dead rat up your ass and die of septic shock.

DB1, I guess this parasitic link spamming that keeps popping up means you've made it to the big time.

Septic Shock would be an awesome band name, btw.
 

@JirafaDouche - yeah that video is wild. You gotta love Primus though. What beats a dude who plays a base like a banjo?
 

You can all eat me. Paris Hilton is fucking hot. So what the fuck's your problem with that?
 

Man playa...you should really get that finger cramping checked out. You could be potassium deprived.

What a turd.
 

Minne-scrota
FTW!