AAAIIIIGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!


IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!!!
 

Apparently, this guy gets good drugs.
 

Stop hatin'! Chef Boy-Ar-Dee needs his trim too, guys.
 

It's getting so I dont have it in me to bag on these fucks.
In the immortal words of
Joe Jackson, "Pretty women are walking with gorillas on my street."
 

The pubic soul-patch is the best part...
 

Uhm with the recent pics it the site should be renamed douchebags with skanky whores' whose daddies didnt love them.
 

The boobs look great (not Ned's but the blondes) but I think the tiny one with the flower tattoo on her side is even hotter. With that come pound me stare. Ned looks like a sperm whale that has washed up on shore and hott PETA chicks are trying to get him back into the sea or douche.
 

This stupid son-of-a-bitch has a brand on his chest....it appears to read "NO"....wtf?

That's a low cut red bikini bottom. That area hasn't seen much sun it would appear. And nice rack!
 

as a former sow, i always have a special place in my heart for the fat bags.

get it while the gettins good, bassist for saliva.

chick on the right looks like this kids mom nora i used to babysit for when i was a kid. i used to look through her underwear drawers and sniff em. i was a fucked up kid.
 

Sign me up
 

The girl on the left is actually porn actress Kendall Brooks.
 

call me crazy, but isn't that Vincent D'Onofrio of Full Metal Jacket fame?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Did your parents have any children that lived?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'll bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

also, boobies.
 

another rehab vegas 'bag capture. that place must be a huge vortex of endless 'baggery.
 

There's no way these girls know this scrote personally. He must have payed them to be in this picture.
 

If the last two pics are the new trend of HCwDB.com, DB1 needs to issue vouchers for penicillin.

Pull up your pants, fat boy. You're a twat and no one likes you.

If blondie gave you a blow job, it would feel like your asshole was being pulled through your dick.

I get the feeling that all the vag in this picture looks like a bad car crash.

Goddamn. I need some down-home, mid-west hotties.
 

The boobage on the left is simply stunning.

This guys:
•hair
•moustache
•chin scruff
•abdomen

are all unfortunate.

Again, look at those sacks. Wow.
 

He gets to pose with them because he's downloaded every single one of Loofa Films videos online and won the studio's trivia sweepstakes.

Sample question: How many cases of STDs were treated after "There Will Be Spooge" wrapped?

Answer: 3,643. And that was just the crew and catering staff.



Can somebody tell me if the chick on the right is missing a ribcage?

Anyone?
 

This is the second time in two days I've written a beautiful masterpiece about a pic, only to have Blogger flush it into the void with an error message. It's breakin' me down.
 

This picture is proof positive that there is nothing that a large roll of twentys can't do.
 

His belly button looks like it was struck by an asteroid
 

Mr. White, I feel your pain.

Whenever I write anything longer than five or six lines, I right-click-copy it IMMEDIATELY because I suspect blogger has a twisted sense of humor.

And before I hit 'publish' I again right-save-copy and pray to the Boobie Sun Goddess.

I suspect that blogger may be run by douches. But I have no proof.
 

It wouldn't hurt the douche to invest in some sunscreen. The faint reddish tinge of a bad 2nd degree sunburn tomorrow never helps.

And this fatty needs all the help he can get.

And no, the girl on the left has no rib cage. And yes, I'd still hit it.
 

This is just sick and wrong. And clearly defines Vegas to a tee. With cash, you can do anything there. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. I sorta wish this pic would have stayed there too.
 

Wow, what to say, what to say... As I sit here in my prison cell aka my cubicle, I get the feeling that Gomer Pile over here (Whoever made the Full Metal Jacket ref. nice catch) attracts these Hollywood porn stars because he must either be the offspring of Ron Jeremy or just looks so damn good holding a plastic, blue cup... Hey but you gotta hand it to the guy. Even though he looks like a Mad Max character he still pulls the cooch...
 

mr. white and senor squash,

I've punched my monitor at least a dozen times. Blogger has lost some of my best multi-verse limericks and then I couldn't remember what I'd written exactly. Then I learned to save before publishing. Good advice mr. squash.
 

Skinny Cougarhott seems to be into pain. Private Pyle could use a good ass kicking.

This pic could have been worse........ It makes me think of this http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/12/smells-like-poo-tatman-begins.html
 

god.fuckin.dammit.

I need some whiskey.
 

This man makes my stomach churn in knots, but not the first date with the hottest girl in school type of knots. More like, I just ate some 4day old pizza for breakfast type of knots.

Private Pile here represents all that is soley evil and wrong in this Douche/Scrote ridden world.
 

Ned's alright; he's on vacation from painting ducks for USPS stamps while Margie lays down the law.

The "NO" welt on his upper chest proves that I have perfected my psyonic mind whip attack. Now I can take down Gorgoroth and regain the lost eye of C'thulu.

He has the tiny shrunken leathery nipples of a malnourished Somali infant.

I will attack his shrunken withered man-nipples with my mind power next.*

*there's a sentence you don't run across every day
 

@darksock:

*there's a sentence you don't run across every day

Pffft. You should be in my line of work, sir.
 

c'mon the world needs dungeonmasters too....seriously were it not forthe mini hawk and the facial hair and this guys need to go topless ok...nevermind thats enough....blonde standeard issue i have premium cable channels full of chicks like her and porn dvd's when i think for second she isn't as much of a slut as i imagine...(and i love sluts but still lets get some variety skinimax please...
40 shades of bleeth hair actually looks likea a chick who could play the joker next batman go around...i mean fter the role went mangina where else should it go...
 

Who are you trying to kid darksock. Everyone knows that, "I will attack his shrunken withered man-nipples with my mind power next", is what Thomas Jefferson said about his arch nemesis John Adams on his deathbed on July 4, 1826. I read it in "Stuff Jefferson Said, 5th Edition"."
 

Captain Ahab, where art thou?
 

That's a sweet crab-ladder!
 

That's a sweet crab-ladder!
 

@anonymous

Good call. That is definitely Kendall Brooks in the pic. Another reason to hate that bastard.
 

the little tat and the hooker glasses gave her away.

and the boobs.
 

'Bag of the week. This guy makes me so angry I want to cry. And by cry, I mean smash his head in with a sledgehammer until there's nothing left but a bloody hair spike and pube patch. And by patch, I mean boobies.

douche equis
special points if we can get a bag over the head of right hott and just leave the good stuff visible.
 

who amongst us does not lust for the oversized racks as displayed here by blonde hott. Ned's oversized rack - not so much.

Ned and Frankie have inspired me to go out and buy my girl fake boobs tonight.

Long live fat boobies!!

- Scroticus
 

@ darksock:
a c'thulu blast...niiice.

just another day at the hard rock vegas. b-level porn stars and d-level roadiebags...
 

@ CochinoMarrano -

I'm busted. shit! my bad guys....
 

He looks like he's smuggling about 50 lbs of chewed bubblegum under his belly. And his tits are officially bigger than hottie on right's.

I dunno, though. If he was parading around like an ass, hamming it up for the camera in a "look how cool I am" moment, I'd be quicker to give him the Peachy Point of Douche. His hair is truly unfortunate, but he kinda just strikes me as a normal guy that found two b-list pr0n stars to pose with. The injustice is undeniable, but is he 'bag? I'm leaning towards "meh".

The two bookends make me want to thank my lucky stars for whoever invented the condom.
 

Bleeeetheeeeeddddd out.
Does penicillin come in vials?
 

Ned, Frankie, and Satan. I'm on FIRE this week or DB1 is lacking submissions. Enjoy all!
 

I'm really shocked that nobody caught the best part of this post, "Fantasy Doucheball."

With the first pick, I select Fish Slap.
 

This guy is an every-douche at best. His hair, as batou put it, is unfortunate. His tattoo is not the logo for Dead Moon, nor is it the High Life Girl in the Moon and that is also unfortunate. I ain't mad at him, though, for posin' with some ho's.

And he obviously knows the value of a dollar, opting for the refillable souvenir tiki sport bottle for his soft drink.
 

burnsy i believe in fantasy doucheball you have to be sound in the socialnetworing sites game
so i choose he just bangs bitches and drinks...he's a noted two gapper and he moves well in cyberspace
 

Wow. Douche of the week. At least.

I'm seeing early Hall of Scrote potential.
 

It doesn't make any sense, but I think that the look on this guy says "I realize that this doesn't make sense, but hey."
 

I look at the guy and think, "The Mayor of Munchkin Land got damn lucky."

Wish he had kept the sash on, though.
 

the girl on the left is actually porn star shyla stylez, not kendall brooks, i shit i watch to much porn but she smokin hot
 

wow... 30 lbs of shit in a 20 lbs flour sack

this chump has a shit stain on his head starting at his dome & running down the middle to his chin

what a puddle of white cuntry gravy

if these two ho's were a '70's rock band they'd be called "Ultra-Tramp"
 

Money. He has it. In mass amounts.

That is all.
 

Who said you can't take strippers home? They love fantasy camp. In Vegas, it starts every Sunday and ends every Thursday. Then they have to go back to work Friday. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
 

If those girls were residents of Sarasota, they'd be at least 90.
 

It's definitely Kendall Brooks and not Shyla Stylez. Trust me.
 

How much money do you have to have to get girls like those to hang out with a guy like that?





Honestly.
 

Bwahahahahaha!!!!

His torso has a stunned, vacant expression.
 

Mother fuck! I knew I should have joined the paintball team.
 

I don't think I can label poor Ned here a douche. He lacks the smug, smirky, smegma look of the usual greased up poser who daily graces this bile-filled, choadish web site. No, Ned knows he's way out of his league there at the Hard Rock. He actually appears quite miserable that his buddies dragged him away from the penny slots, down to the Rehab party just for their own shits and giggles. Ned's pals even lured him close enough to water's edge with the promise of twinkies, only to push him into the deep end. In more ways than one. Ned is not amused that the same bastardly friends paid the skuntly porn chicks to come over and snap a pity photo with him. Look, Ned's beady eyes are ready to tear up, and his thin lips are quivering. Oh wow, Ned's mustache reminds me of the Golden Gate bridge. Anyway, even Ned's happy trail looks sad. Ned's boney, lackluster hand quietly grasps his Tiki sippy cup. No pointing, no gang flashes. Just Ned. Pale, bloated, Sleepy Man in the Moon tattooed Ned. Sure, back in high school he did a little chest flesh carving, but hey, who didn't? No, it's now 2008, and he still rocks the same high school 'hawk, but Ned now knows where he belongs in the glitzy pool party world. Back at the casino in the dinner buffet line.
 

David Wells looks like he's lost some weight.
 

Gross beyond belly...fffff.
 

the blonde is actually a pornstar named kendall brooks.