Friday, March 21, 2008

 

Friday Haiku



Could it be? It is.
He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks,
Dollar Signs, Not White.


Ice cold juggsicles
Divert my attention from
Pimple-faced wigger

-- maximum overdouche

He Bangs Bitches is
attempting to impress with
boobs of his sister

-- anonymous

Girl is opposite
of tough, unchewable steak.
She's super tasty.

-- douche almighty

Repeat. I am douche.
Patrolling girls dorm for prey,
Chesty hott sprays mace.

-- 'bag lanta

Balding,baggy eyed vampire boy,
Blondies boobage too big,
Casket won't close

-- Marcos Douchebagdatis
Comments:
First
 
Pimples, greasy hair
Ugly insides match outsides
Run, freshman girl, run
 
frodo baggins choad
pollutes sorority hott
cleavage nirvana
 
Here's a hint for you:
Rich people don't wear T-shirts
Covered with dollars
 
A douche or a geek?
Paid for a fine piece of ass...
his dad is Bill Gates.
 
Girls Gone Wild star
Sparky meets her in hallway
Pic cost him twenty
 
Why is that boobage
In cinder block dorm hallway?
She should be in porn.
 
That black scoop-neck tee
is really make my day;
teacher's pet is douche.
 
Remember, Blondie:
He's not a down-to-earth guy.
Just a giant ass.
 
Ice cold juggsicles
Divert my attention from
Pimple-faced wigger
 
High school guido douche;
a smoking hot prostitute;
Risky Business II?
 
To her shirt's neckline
I say: Dive, dive farther down
Release those for us.
 
He Bangs Bitches is
attempting to impress with
boobs of his sister
 
So here's a question:
if milk does a body good,
can I be her milk?
 
Girl is opposite
of tough, unchewable steak.
She's super tasty.
 
What's on that sweatshirt?
Rosary beads? Viruses?
Hideous garment.
 
Yes, she's very hot
But we need her taint measure
Before we proceed.
 
Repeat. I am douche.
Patrolling girls dorm for prey,
Chesty hott sprays mace.
 
A skin-tight black top
Fabric so sheer, inviting
Touch, fondle, slobber.
 
Where are campus cops?
Please remove his arm from her
Then beat savagely.
 
Speaking of beatings
Time for me to visit can
And "release tension."
 
He's a raging douche.
She has a dark secret, too.
Ass crusties' revenge
 
Closet-case gay douche
Not stoked about those d-cups.
She's no old doc, though.
 
when i see this guy
i am going to beat him
into a pink mist
 
A nursing student
Visits meth rehab patient
That's dedication.
 
Hung over Smeagol
She's the "cute" in "cute couple"
Run, my precious, run!
 
I have news for you:
You are indeed white, asswipe.
Get over yourself.
 
If that Spitzer whore
Is four thousand, then this gal
Must charge six figures.
 
be careful assfuck
you don't want too much distance
from her ass to vag
 
Dolla signs on shirt,
zits, grease, aluminum bling.
He's no Benjamin!
 
Dolla signs on shirt,
zits, grease, aluminum bling.
He's no Benjamin!
 
Sometimes he hates sex.
Unless fondled by old men.
Pop a squat and piss.
 
I have to wonder
How bumpy is her g-spot?
Size of her nipples?
 
For those who doubted
Here stands the firmest of proof
He wins 'Bag 08!
 
Send him to Humboldt
Let Maniac Latin D's
Work his ass over.

Can anyone tell
I watched Chicago gang doc
Earlier this week?
 
Overly gay guys
Isn't this twat's cup of tea
Kinda gay? Oh yeah.
 
Old bag eyes, she may
Pop a squat and piss on me
Anytime she wants
 
She seems clean, pure, bright
What has led her to be here?
Some bad life choices.
 
FINALLY "Just Bangs",
Meets all the criteria
To be on this site.
 
Balding,baggy eyed vampire boy,
Blondies boobage too big,
Casket won't close

Marcos Douchebagdatis
 
Just Bangs should have site
Where he's tied down to a chair,
Beaten savagely.
 
Great bod, pretty face.
"Why is she here?", you may ask.
Roofies are good stuff.
 
She should have a site
Where I'm tied down to a chair,
Slaps my face with boobs.
 
m. white beats tension
leaves deposit on floor
for poor janitor
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Her roots groweth over.
His patchy hair groweth sparse.
Money Money Boobs.

Chaz Von Steezlebagg
 
Where are they standing?
Hall of "He Bangs'" middle school?
Naughty substitute.
 
Janitor expects
Deposits from me these days
Curses this website.
 
Bag has face mole or
Mole has person on its back
Charity photo

Chaz Von Steezlebagg
 
"He Just Bangs" looks sick.
Very pale, frail, thin, and weak.
About time, cancer.
 
No drink in his hand.
He just bangs bitches OR drinks
His profile should read.

Chaz Von Steezlebagg
 
Frat choad ho poses
Shirt dollar signs not tender
Spitzer son bangs gel
 
I ask myself this:
Hott there voluntarily?
There isn't a God.
 
Dollars gay,
Breasts succulent and creamy,
Change of underwear please
 
More Forces needed
To keep a-rack in control
His Surge is too weak

The terrorists win
By terrorists I mean boobs
Jihad in my pants
 
Do we not get a poetic installment from He Just Bangs? Its just not the same without his diarrhea of the mouth.
 
Her boobs jut out proud
Like shelf fungus on a stump
But way sexier
 
Why is she near him?
Pasty white guy sheened in grease,
Die, McLovin, Die.
 
Peter Doherty
pays top dollar for rehab -
C-cup therapy
 
db1 what gives?
posting haiku so early?
holy fucking boobs!
 
anons calling first
fifth column assault, douchebag
mccarthyism NOW!
 
He was born perfect,
pre-lubed for his one purpose:
Human cow dildo.

Speaking of heifers,
She is banned from the dairy;
Milk cows envious.
 
If she were my girl
She'd be on a pedestal:
Wal-Mart trampoline
 
darksock, i sense that
the threat level is turquoise
with this queer docuehbag
 
big boobs on a stick
novelty hot, good humor
bomb pups in a blanket
 
Darksock, be careful
Even cows have their standards
Rhinos, not so much.
 
If Sock were surgeon,
I'd hollow out her left boob;
My mountain cabin.

I'd watch the sunset
While I wrote epic poems
To my round neighbor
 
Bathe, H&R Douche,
and finish my fucken taxes.
Your dream is over.
 
I edit math books
Just put her picture in for
Spheres, examples of.
 
dorm room boys bang beers
and bitch, no hott comes near but
r.a. advisor
 
I would great circle
Her Riemannian surface
With my hard vector.
 
If instead of legs
She had a cone-shaped torso
That would turn me on

Where did that come from?
Pencil woman of pure love,
Got your sharpener here.

Doubled up on pills,
Lithium gone till Monday
Stupid Pharmacist
 
From whence he steal hott?
For this douche has the smoothness
of a burlap sack
 
bassmaster budd wins
college adventure, state school
accepts vo-tech cred
 
i just want to be
the squirrel that seeks shelter
under boob awning
 
My Sweet Number Two
With Sweet Graphite Triangle
Instead of pubes

David Lee Roth said
"I got yer pennn-sulll! Gimme
Somethin' to write on"

Her eraser head
would SO help me rub one out
Quite literally

Voices a choir now,
I search the couch for stray pills -
RUN, SPOT, DADDY'S SICK
 
@ Newmans Own:

Top of Vo-Tech Class
Shop Teacher gives him an "A"
Best book-ends in class
 
Found my stash of pills;
Can't remember this morning.
Where'd my pencil go?
 
he just bangs beer and
needs hair plugs, 5 headed bag
no action needed
 
those bookends are great
every book he ever read fits
neatly between them
 
elastic snap hole
Is cracking me the hell up
Rock on, Haiku Man
 
hair plugs to long
only good for sex
1 2 3 pop bottles
 
mr white

boobie milk-boarding
was once tried by intel
not so effective
 
Faust Hott wanted a Demon
Got Shafted with Captain Howdy
Wants her Goat's Blood Back
 
oily hair drips goo
on hott's Matterhorn-esque rack
March Madness, indeed!
 
Forgive my haiku
The Spirit of Bangs Bitches
Possessed My Soul
 
Blonde hott defiled
by yakov smirnoff's brother
dude, what a country
 
R.A. hott never
guessed peer counseling would
end up on DoucheSpace
 
To the first poster
lay upon us a haiku
more to being first
 
re: anon 8:47 -

Peer counseling?
Mr. White - You're a peer!
New career unfolds
 
This guy still wows me
He just bangs bitches and drinks
He stepped up his game

at first i doubted
his induction into hall
man was I so wrong
 
ive gots so much muny
i dont tell anyones
boobies are muny
 
stop sweet girl in hall
"er, um ,uhhh um, would you please
take a pic with me?"

"uh, yeah, i guess so"
says the lovely breated blonde
"there, happy douchebag?"
 
Poor boobies, trapped
Don't smash together, puppies
Let those boys run free
 
And to Mr. White
Chicago is about dope
gang banging is dead

but as I say that
people still fight for corners
just wild savages

You said Humbolt Park
My dad stays over that way
Puerto Rican gangs
 
want to wipe that smirk
off of bangs bitches face with
louisville slugger
 
Mr. DB1,
Replace old bangs bitches pic
with this one right here.
 
is it so easy
to woo the likes of this girl
fake gold, fake street cred?
 
photo ops for choads
she also wants to save the
turtles or something
 
the photo's real truth?
bangs bitches cried in pillow
way out of his league
 
Bangs bitches? hardly
Offensive to 5 senses
She's Diego Hott!

-Scrote and Saddle
 
see pillows and douche
douchebag says "no diggity"
I punch, say "no doubt"
 
Often amused by
bad pairings of hot and douche
This one fucking hurts
 
sorotease fun
pose with a douchebag,house mom
still getting it done
 
Her mighty peaks
Yodel out to my meat sled;
My ham toboggan
 
HJBBD
You've upped your game quite a bit.
But, once a dickslap...
 
Cornfed perfection
Motorboat! Motorboat! Whee!
Then, slap Pimply Jones.
 
Bang is major choad
fem taggers would smack him more
violently than males
 
douchetorious,
Might have been an old special
Accurate no more

But I like the thought
Of organized violence
Brought down on this guy
 
A greasey corpse? Nope.
He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks.
The one and only.

Lucky for this Hott,
He'll replace her, not chase her.
The melons on her.


-Amerigo Vesdouchey
 
most funny would be
walk up with bang's myspace screed
and hand it to hott
 
Borat's younger brother, Beelo!
 
Bleak dorm hall too dark.
Douche says "Turn on your headlights."
Oh God, turn them off.
 
will hung sings "he bangs"
douchebag sings "he drinks he drinks"
timeless douche-duet
 
I'd like to take a
measurement: distance from ass
to vagina. Word.
 
Those are some mashers.
He is the ultimate douchebag.
I want to die now.
 
Inspiring moment
reread inspiring moment
He Bangs Bitches And Drinks!
 
Good God Double Dees
I have a new idol now
He just bangs bitche$

For publicity
She has found cockroach bottom
Infested Poet
 
Dee Bee One now has
Two thousand eight rack of year
Teach me, Bang and Drink

Lovely Beautiful
soiled by a short bus rider
Transcends all DoucheBags

Yes, I'll pose with you
Why are you hanging out here
Every day, Tool?
 
pencil-neck geek here!
flee now princess of funbags!
douche douche douche douche douche!!!
 
Oh, it's HJBBAD! I missed him! Where ave you been, you naughty thing?
 
ass to vagina
come in vagina,roger
ass whats your twenty
 
GolDDigging frosh prostitutes herself
Thinks HJBBaD has money
Rude awakening soon
 
Cancer kid makes wish:
forget Disneyland; lemme
climb the matterhorns
 
third floor psycho ward
visitation hour over
you look well rested
 
Annoying teenage frat scrote
pleads for photo with stripper
Smugly hands her crisp Washington
 
"what's your twenty" he says.

HA!!!!! Yer killin' me!
 
Website posters jeer,
But I'm the one embracing,
These luscious boobies.

douche equis
(not really HJBBAD)
 
First!
I'm not?
Dammit.
 
fuck this turtle-boy
pimples and eye-bags aren't hot
women are sooooooooo dumb
 
Boobies boobies boobs
Boobies boobies boobies boobs
Boobs boobs boobies boobs
 
Mythbusters please help.
Did I just kill a kitten?
She made me do it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:God-kills-kitten.jpg
 
Third time is a charm.
Last two "hotts" of his were NOT.
We can kill him now.
 
Changed my moniker
To "Just kills douchebags and drinks"
My ideal lifestyle.

-The Duke
 
Acronym insites
Blonde to tell dad she's pregnant
Tuesday of next week
 
dad doesn't get jokes
tracts bag down on her facebook
stabs him through the heart
 
he gets sent to jail
gets out on good behavior
after a few days
 
If I glue a beer
To the bottom of a pool,
Will the douchebag drown?
 
I know that kid such a douchebag and a pussy! that kid thought he was tough shit then got his ass kicked. probably paid that girl to take a picture with him.
 
Kid got his ass kicked?
Probably by this hottie
When he tried something.
 
I'm a gentleman
And don't normally hit girls,
But yeah I'd hit that!
 
I dwell on haikus
While I anxiously await
For today's limerick
 
you think if you slapped him in the face he would cry?
 
he looks like the poster child for the make a wish foundation....
 
Is this at a High school dance?
 
When he robs a bank in a few years to feed his growing cocaine and male prostitue addictions he can use that dollar sign shirt as a bag for all his loot, just like in the cartoons!
 
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