Wow. She must be REALLY drunk.
 

Drunk or compensated very well.

However, I suspect it's more along the lines of poor self esteem brought on by "bad uncle touches."

Either way, this shit stain needs to stop wondering about his "doucheness" and commit suicide already.
 

"This drunk hott wants to go to a bar but i don't have time to leave to change out of my chemistry lab clothes...What to do What to do?"
 

"This drunk hott wants to go to a bar but i don't have time to leave to change out of my chemistry lab clothes...What to do What to do?"
 

All I know is the Jolly Green Giant is going to be fucking pissed when he sees his reading glasses are missing.

This is one of those rare images that defies captioning.
 

This dude is too far gone. This aint the Catholac Church there is no forgiveness for Douche face.

Plus, I get the sick sense that he's proud of his douchey past. Why else would you admit it? He submitted this pick to gage his own doucheness, he figures, the more anger the better the bag I am.

Today he's a douchebag, in ten years he's wearing his wife's painties to work.

You know this dude has got this pic as his wallpaper on his cell.

Do those glasses have lenses? They look like they came off a 69 yr old jewish guy from Miami Beach.

The Hott is decent, would be better with something more to put your head on when you ten sheets to the wind.
 

Nerdbag!
 

The doucheness of this pic is causing me to want to hunt this coke bottle eyeglass wearing geek down and smash his body with some neanderthal type club and then burn his putrid body to cinders. i would rescue her for some Easter egg hide and seek.
time to begin another friday drunk-fest.
 

I'm betting that's her first beer and she's 14 years old.

Could be the baby fat on her cheeks thats throwing off my readings, but my jailbait detector just lit up and buzzed loudly.


speaking of buzzed.. time for a breakfast beer to take the edge off.
 

Those are pictures of eyes painted onto the front of the glasses.
 

I have always said - do whatever it takes to nail the hott. I'd rather know that some fake-douche douched it up just to save the hott from a real douche.
 

Dimitri bag gets great play in Kosovo. What a war-torn Territory!
 

i love the the sunglasses on the brim of the hat while the real glasses are on the face...thats the best thing since the flip up sunglasses the mullet of eyewear...speaking of baseball this bag reminds me of lee tunnell http://bp1.blogger.com/_K7AwV34Kzlo/Ri3xHnS4_lI/AAAAAAAAADU/gltqQ08IjEA/s1600-h/tunnell.jpgs
a pitcher who's only remembered for mediocrity and nerdouchery...
as for hott i don't think she is 14 but her susan sarandon worshiping at the altar of bleethball act makes me want to hit her like a 3-1 fastball
 

Hell hath no self-righteous fury like the former douche reformed.

As noted previously, we've all demeaned ourselves in one way or another in pursuit of the panties of the hott. Fake tans, face grease, bling, expensive & ridiculous clothes, pompousness - okay maybe not kissy lips but you get the point.

At any rate, in the immortal words of James Lipton or was it Thurston Howell, III - I get them confused -
"Douche not lest ye be douched".

At any rate, if a Twelve Step Program can help heroin addicts clean up then such a program may, MAY be of help for douches who've hit rock bottom and cant' face another greasy, orange, kissy lipped day.

Simon has admitted he is powerless over the way of the douche. He has taken the first baby step on the road to clean, natural looking skin, hair that looks human and becoming a decent, contributing member of society. His path is long and fraught with peril but this painful mocking will build his strength of character to face the challenge of resisting Ed Hardy and Affliction and easy convenience store availability of Tag/Axe.

His greatest challenge will be making amends with everyone he's hurt. Looking at this horrid picture, he'd better be picking up the tab at Capital Grille to amend for this atrocity.

What other steps must Simon take to de-douchify? There are at least ten more. He needs our help to succeed.
 

Make amends to the rest of humanity especially to the girls and guys you gave the clap
 

i want to know just how the fuck this picture came to be. what variables and factors led to this downright odd picture.
 

Twelve Steps of the Douche

1. douche must admit that he is powerless over his douchitude, that his life unmanageable without it...

2. he must come to admit that a higher power (hotchickswithdouchebags.com) greater than himself could restore him to sanity.

3. douche must make the decision to turn his will and his life over to the care of HCwDB as he understands it.

4. said douche must make a fearless and moral inventory of himself. and of his closet of douchey accessories.

5. admit to DB1, to himself, and to a real human being the exact nature of his wrongs.

6. the douche must be entirely ready to have HCwDB remove all these defects of character.

7. humbly ask the forum at HCwDB to remove these shortcomings.

8. make a list of all the hotts you have harmed, and be willing to make amends to them.

9. make direct amends to said hotts, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. continue to take personal inventory and when he is wrong, promtly admit it.

11. seek through posting and meditation to improve his conscious contact with HCwDB as he understands them, praying only for knowledge of their will, and the power to carry it out.

12. fuck it, just kill yourself.
 

I know I'm supposed to comment on making amends for douchitude, but I'll be honest for you: Something about this nibbling, terry cloth towel-wearing hott just turns my crank. She is more than welcome to climb on me and nibble, but I won't even make her chew on a nasty old hat. I also wear normal human glasses, not glasses from a C-grade, 80s movie about fratbags and nerds battling it out. Which has to be a plus for me.
 

shorty frog face here is running off with a fleshy masthead from the pirateship "Douche Pearl"
 

scrotten outstanding...perhaps a judge got you right with one of the anonomi?
 

liar
 

Thank you, Newman's. I thought I was just imagining that I saw sunglasses AND glasses on the same guy.

Scrote.

And, oh...

Fish Slap, fuck him.
 

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=24573299

And here he is in full form...
 

Perhaps he stole her glasses? 6 eyed-douche.
 

@newman's

thanks, and no comment!
 

Simon,
Yes, you must go through the release of shame and send in pics. The shame stems from the secret you hold, knowing that these pictures exist and that you have been a 'bag.
 

Simon,
Yes, you must go through the release of shame and send in pics. The shame stems from the secret you hold, knowing that these pictures exist and that you have been a 'bag.
 

Shit. I WISH this were all kinds of wrong. But this picture has traveled 30 millions light years well beyond "all kinds of wrong".

Rick Moranis called and would like his nerdiness back. Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys called and would like his glasses back. Ernest P. Worrell called and wants his "look" back, including his cap.

And I would like my sight back.
 

Is there a douche-point he hasn't hit?

let's see:
flexed arm - check
tilt hat - check
no shirt - check
kissy lips - check

Did I miss anything?

Are sunglasses on the hat bill a douche-move?

(Simon stands up) My name is Simon and I am a douche-bag
(everyone else) Hi Simon
(Simon)I have'nt done anything douche-baggy in 2 months 3 days......
(everyone else) good job Simon
(Simon) I have found myself walking by Hot Topic stores in the mall and eying crappy fedoras every so often but other than that I have been pretty firm in throwing off the yoke of douche baggery... blah blah blah
 

I'm not really seeing that.

I can't be seeing it, because it is the ain sof douche upon which none can stand to gaze. One's retinas - nay, one's vary soul - would be reduced to a gooey film of cinders & toe jam by the scrotal brilliance. Therefore...

I. Am. Not. Seeing. That.
 

Ok girlfriend, the sooner you stop eating baseball caps the sooner you will lose the pooch! As for the pouty lipped pedadouche - is she even out of Jr. High? Obviously even two pair of glasses aren't buying you any clarity.

I've got an idea Mr. Optifag! Why don't you spit out that load you are ever so fond of and repeat after me:

I enjoy smoking pole and will now demonstrate on my sisters beer bottle.
 

don't sell yourself short luke, you are a scortastic douche
 

This is the annual offseason Elf party when santa's not around. Fly in 50 hotties and party like its 1999. Only thing missing is the lamp shade.
Theres No hope for an elf
Turdacious
 

Looks like Dov Charney's been working out... (Google it squares!)
 

1976 called; they want their AMC Pacer windshields back.
 

You know every time I look at this little minx, the sexier she gets. Methinks I would bite her brim. He remains, as ever, the archdouche.
 

It would appear Roy Scheider is, in fact, alive and well.
 

A cocksucker called. He wants his lips back.
 

obscure polish and slavic celebrations called, reminding me that tommorow is dyngus day
 

He's starring in the new movie with Anthony Edwards, "Revenge of the Douches" He's Poindexdouche