Dig.
 

Lindsay Lohan was hot at one time? I must have missed that brief period of her life between puberty and pestilence.

Never hug your dealer, kids; someone might be there with a camera.
 

Monkey! Monkeeee-y! Monkey!

Don't you know he's gonna shock the monkey!
 

Better not; that Monkey has teeth.
 

Vagina dentata.

Dude probably looks like a stick of Wrigley's spearmint, to her.
 

There once was a Choad from New York,
It was Lindsay he wanted to pork.
He wined her and dined her,
to get up inside her.
But what works best is two lines of coke.

Douchetopher McChoadenstein
 

Wow. Extreme Bleeth-over: Celebutard Edition.
 

@squatch

An old tale gets a new twist in an upcoming movie:

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/movie/teeth/

Lohan should be the beginning and end of any anti-drug/alcohol presentation. Show her when she was all hot in "Mean Girls," then show her now. It'll cut drug abuse in teens by 97%.
 

She has hair and teeth matted in a grist of meth-sweat caked underneath her left tit
 

@Mr. White (the artist formerly known as Reservoir Douche),

I blinked a couple of times and... holy moley, that's a real movie. Oh, man. I'm considering catching that one.
 

Why is it illegal to hit people in the teeth with hammers when there are so many celebutard douches that so richly deserve it?
 

I really don't know what it is, but her orangey lunacy makes me turgid quicker than snorting Viagra while watching midget beastiality porn (midgets and Shetland ponies).
 

Lindsey Lohan is the new Tara Reid.
Don't argue with me, you-all know it's true.
 

I like how this dude has a semblance of a mustache. Give it a few more years buster, it'll grow in.
 

That or he'll be arrested for driving a conversion van near an elementary school.
 

if his eyes were any smaller, he'd be blind. what a douchebag.

as for ms. lohan, i wish her all the success in kicking her bad habits. she's not the best actress ever, but she's far and away a better person then say, britney spears. best of luck girl. and by 'best of luck', i mean 'jiggle my balls'.
 

He is a BB-eyed mofo, Pfah; good call. You could blindfold him with dental floss.
 

Never trust the beady eyes. I would open fire on his van if he were near my children. If he drove a van...and if I had kids...
 

As for LiLo, ya can't really blame her. She's fighting some fierce gene pool pollution and, honestly, doing a decent job; considering her total fuck-up parents.
 

@the big douchebagski

You're correct. Here's my official Lohan Redemption Fantasy:

After a record coke/meth/paint thinner binge, Lohan goes on a drive through Hollywood. In one six-block stretch, she hits and kills several young mothers, seven toddlers, three nuns, John Mayer, a litter of black lab puppies, one of Britney's kids, a van full of Special Olympics athletes, and a manatee just looking for its way home. As is the custom in California, her punishment is a suspended license and a $500 fine. However, the judge orders her to complete rehab in Mr. White's Mountain Retreat.

I take her to mmy picturesque mountain cabin to nurse her back to health. During the day, I require her to go for jogs around the lake, chop firewood, and hunt for game. In the evenings, I will prepare fantastic dishes of perfectly seasoned wild meat, vegetables, and eight grain breads. At first, she will vomit up most of this, and whatever she doesn't vomit will appear later as explosive diarrhea. She will be required to keep her bathroom sparking clean, however. At the end of each day, we will drink a calming tea made of green tea leaves and ginseng, and then I will gently cleanser her in a rustic teak bathtub, using natural bath oils made from lilac and ginger.

As the days pass, she will reclaim much of her lost youth and vitality. The meth sweat will be slowly washed away, her complexion will clear, and her body will once again become the toned, lithe slice of hotness that we all first witnessed so many years ago.

The final phase of treatment will be designed to teach her to reconnect with humanity. And by "reconnect with humanity," I mean I will perform every "place + noun" sexual act I can catalog, from the Albanian Corkscrew to the Zimbabwe Zing Zang. We might call Mandy Moore and Amanda Bynes over for some of the more complicated ones. Or just to ferociously tag team me in a girl-on-girl-on-girl-on-guy, All-American Fuckfest.

Naturally, this will kill me, but I will die with a big smile on my face. Young Lohan can then rejoin the world with her health and a positive new attitude. And she may make it through a week or two back in California before she drives her BMW into a telephone pole at 95 mph. God Bless, Lindsay. God Bless.
 

Wow. Mr. White, that is extensive. All I ask is that you write me in your will so that, upon your death, I can be left Mr. White's Mountain Retreat.

After which, it will be re-named "Free Cocaine and Copious Amounts of Wild, Kinky Sex Mountain Retreat" so that I may entice Miss Lohan back, along with welcoming any smokin-hot and impressionable young celebutards coming down the pike.

There will be a board meeting on how to set up a special focus on Hayden Pantytears, Audrina Patridge/Lauren Conrad, and Spears Jr. (when she's old enough and lost custody of her child, of course), just to name a few.

We're doing the Lord's work.
 

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Forget about the 'WDGGGG from Nj/NY'. Check out the rock on that broads finger!


- “W.D.G.G.G.G from NJ/NY” Hater

(WAP, Dego, Guinea, Goomba, Guido, Greaseball from New Jersey or New York – Hater) Oh…WDGGGG’s are NOT welcome in Florida…STAY AWAY!…Stay in Brooklyn/Hoboken or wherever!!)
 

He be Riley Giles, y'all.

Some skateboard and/or snowboard semi-pro. They met in rehab earlier this year. She dated him until about Thanksgiving. Then she dropped his ass after he apparently didn't meet her family's "approval".

He's since retaliated by selling "candid" pics he took of LiLo during their time together. Made somewhere in the "low five-figure" range from some ghoulish tabloid. Great for him. He's got enough to get back into his habit comfortably for a couple of weeks. The pics are everywhere. Just Google. Yeah, she should have known better.

As the big douchebagski said, Ms. Lohan's doing pretty well to bounce back from ugly experiences during an immature phase of her life, which was only complicated by enablers/"admirers" who shouldn't have -- but did -- capitalize on her fame and vulnerability. Look at the LA clubs that served her and her underage friends because her patronage brought extensive publicity.

Celebrity culture is yet another fascinatingly fucked-up symptom of of a society headed down the skids.
 

Whether hott or not, why the hell would you want to incapacitate yourself in the presence and on the prospect of an acceptable chance at fornication? Fucking loser! Go to the corner and snort and/or masturbate while take care of business for you!
 

Isnt this the ex bf of said Ms. Lohan who is shopping around XXX rated pics of her? If this is so, would that be somewhat of an redeeming act, as far as DB'ery. Or would presenting such images to the populous, be a far greater crime?
 

anonymous @ 7:05

No. It is called chicken shit. And giving him a vasectomy with a dull rock is far better than what he deserves!
 

This fucker's got beady eyes and big Osama lips. I say we keep him at least 100 yards from any patriotic landmarks.

So where can I see these Riley/Lindsay sex pix? Google isn't putting out. See, I haven't "milked my goat" for a few hours and could use a little bag-on-bleeth action. I need a break from planetuniform.com, ya dig?
 

What, did she fuck Inspector Gadget for that hat?

"Go go Gadget cumshot!"
 

What, did he fuck a Walmart employee for that shirt?

I hope he got some change back.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh.

Where are all you mudderfuckahs????
It's only 2 in the morning!!!!
 

did Eric Gagne sign with the Yankees, & what is he doing with LilLo? does using 'roids to get alittle hop on you fastball make you a douche? just askin'
 

Hello everyone...

A very important factor here is this...

This photo is fake.

That is Lotan's face Photoshopped (poorly) onto some other poor hott's face. Check the hard hat and right facial silhouette line. The color temperature is wrong, the lighting (flash here) angle is different on the faces, and most importantly, the life-light in the two eyes are different.

And furthermore, Lotan is a fucking idiot. There's no doubt about it...BUT...she's a cute pixie. Her head is simply not that big.
 

Actually, Lohan's head (who the fuck is "Lotan", some kind of Norse god?) was pasted onto a guy's body. That's totally a guy's hat. Case closed.

Seriously it doesn't looked 'shopped to me. I mean it's low res like all the pictures on here so who knows. The catch-light looks the same in both people's eyes. Yeah, she's got one "dull" eye but who the fuck would 'shop everything but one eye? Her head might be closer to the camera than his, making it look bigger. I think she normally has a big freakish head actually. I see no "hard hat"(?). Skin tone and lighting, well she might just have orange, greasy skin, due to a daily liberal application of "man cream". She just massages that shit in when it gets on her face.

Maybe .. maybe.... her face is actually the only real part of the photo, AND THE REST OF THE PICTURE WAS 'SHOPPED IN. HOLY SHIT!

Okay the hat. I keep coming back to her hat. Who wears hats like that? The *hat* was 'shopped in.

Hold up. He's not actually flashing the Shocker here. He's holding up his hand, and somebody masked out the ring finger, to denigrate his character and make us think he's a douche. No fuck it, he's 100% genuine 'bag, of course that's the Shocker. He'll be trying to jam it in Lindsay later after she's coked the fuck out and can't call her bodyguard.

HE MIGHT BE AN AMPUTEE. Yes. The finger was removed to fight CANCER. Or maybe he just lost it in some dude's extra-tight asshole. Not sure.

Fuck, that empty space above their heads .. something WAS THERE. IT WAS REMOVED. We deserve to know. What's he building in there? What the hell is he building in there?

Shit, I gotta get some sleep... But you raise some interesting points, "douche gorden" (if that's your REAL name).
 

Anon 1:35 -

You Fool. Douche Gordon refers to Lotan, Gatekeeper of the Anu’udrian Vortex Stargate. His flagship will be amongst the first of the swarming Kzinti Vorpal Class war frigates to emerge from behind the dark side of Jupiter, slingshotting cobalt fusion missiles from its gravity well.

We must be prepared to fend off Lotan and the Kzinti hordes with what we have: nuclear fission missiles, the ATF and Donald Rumsfield. Currently the plan is to draw the Kzinti to Palestine; as you know, the one Kzin vulnerability is trauma by rock impact and the Palestinians are the rock-throwingest motherfuckers on the planet. Besides, if it fails they'll get nuked, and fuck those bitches anyway.

So, basically you were confusing Lotan with Lohan. Don't let it happen again. Gird your loins for the coming fight.
 

Anon 1:35 -

You had me at "some dude's extra-tight asshole".

Call me.
 

@ Plinky - Inspector Gadget...hahaha.

My grandfather wears hats like that when he plays golf.

Those hats have been the big sunglasses and/or capris of this year. They are one of those things that women wear thinking men like them when, in all actuality, the only men that like them are more interested in banging Shockey McTaintswabber here than little Lohandjob.

I fucking hate capri pants, windshield-sized sunglasses, and these hats. WOMEN: WE DON'T LIKE THEM OR THINK YOU LOOK SEXY IN THEM.

Well, "we" that would like to visit your crab factory.
 

Oh, I almost forgot. Fuck you, too, trucker hats.
 

@the big douchebagski

I don't know what you're talkin' about, man. I LOVE it when chicks wear hats that make them look like my grandfather and/or Frank Sinatra. It's my secret fetish. Keep it up, ladies! And if you're feeling really frisky, let's see some plaid golf pants, too!

Also, I took care of that will situation we spoke of above. You will inherit the mountain retreat, but to claim your inheritance, you will have to spend one night in the haunted guest bedroom. Sometimes the Douche-apparition of John Mayer appears there. To defend yourself, wear a garlic necklace and play music recorded by actual musicians, instead of faux-emo tools.
 

@Mr. White a.k.a. TAFKA Reservoir Douche - Thank you for penciling me into the will. I accept your challenge. I will utilize my psychic medium skills to summon the ghost of SRV and Jimi (one of the few men that made wearing a bandana cool).

At this point Mayerbag's doucheparition will be beaten with their Stratocasters until he can no longer blog or brood over how horrible high school on 'Bag Island was to him.
 

FUE!

I'LL FUCEN PUACH THAT FAOGAOHT! FUCEN GOAT FACE'D WHOAR3

THAT BITH NEEDS FUCN USUESD AS;A A TOAILET FORO A HARAR'TY FUCEN BEEER SHIT!@

FUC I'D FUCEN SLAP THATE TATSTE OUT THAT WOUR'3DS FUC@

..3
FAGOH\

FUC YOU TOTO MAN YOU FUCEN TARAMAL BITH FUAGAOHYT YOU GOANAG BE ,/3

MY FUCEN CELLMANTE NEXXT'E TIME YOU FAGOIH@#

FD

F
34

FLZ GLTHE

GAOH!
 

Did Lohan exhume Tom Landry and steal that hat out of his casket?

If she didn't grave rob Landry, did she get a free bowl of soup with that hat?


Quite.
 

FLZ GLTHE

I think I love you.
 

FLYTEETH'S BACK! TARMAL!!!
 

i was alerted to this site by one of the members of teh Lindsay fan clubs that I run on MSN and SHAME ON ALL OF YOU you are a bunch of mean racist jerks that have nothing better to than pick on a person with more talent than you have in your fingers; if you cant say something nice then SHUT UP. well your just a bunch of losers anyway so who cares what you think or say.

as administrator of one of her bigger fan clubs i hereby DEMAND that you turn this site off and erase all the mean and hurtful comments especially the one about her having hair and teeth on her breast i mean come on that does not even make sense your a bunch of stupid druggies probably anyway. a child can wander onto this site and read the mean stuff you write and then what? another life ruined like you BASTARDS are trying to ruin hers just like the sicko paperatsi jerks trying to make a dollar off of one of the only true talents left in hollywood. if you rented mean girls or freaky friday youd know what i am talking about but ohhhh thats right YOUR TO STUPID to appreciate real talent you just try to tear her down well get this: I HATE YOU!!! I H-A-T-E YOU ALL. TURN THIS SITE OFF NOW or i will notify her agent and then you will be sorry.

i mean it.

GET A LIFE!!!
 

I'm not taking the bait...
 

@anon 1:41 PM

C'mon. You can do that better than that fake lurker. Your post isn't even close to fooling anyone as being authentic. Take this one down and try again. Until it's improved you're getting an incomplete for the semester.
 

I'll bet her pee is toxic enough to kill fire ant beds.
 

Sounds like the Awkward Delusional Tween Club's checked in.

Hi, there! How many more days left on your holiday break? Does Josh still like you? Did Ashley invite you over for her birthday sleepover next Friday?

Isn't it time to clean your room?
 

il choardino: I am a college student (3.4 GPA) so your wrong. Judging by your picture you don't need to be talking smack about anybody il chodrino; nice hoodie did you steal it off your little brother? LOL

i'm dissapointed; you were one of the only ones that didn't say stuff totally disgusting and you know about that idiot she giles she wasted her time on. I had oped you'd be a fellow fan and show support but i guess not.

I appreciate her talent - that doesnt' make me delusional or weird. Making rude comments about pictures is weird. And sad. I feel sorry for all of you.

I repeat my request. It says in the rules that if a request is made to take a photo off then it has to be done. this is my second request - HELLO?!?
 

Linsdey? Is that you?
 

and no "josh" doesn't like me, I am a guy dum ass
 

well enough of this home made blog anyway if you want to see a REAL blog that is oh, about 100 times more popular and visited than this dead end site go here

http://groups.msn.com/LindsayLohanNet

you might learn something about the artist your tearing down (or trying to anyway; she is a movie star AND a recording artist; what do you mockers do - serve french fries and try to sell phones at the mall LOL)

so forget my request to take down this picture since nobody comes to this dumb site anyway but the same dozen old idiots anyway

have a nice life; she will still be a star long after this blog shuts down from lack of INTEREST

I'm OUT, LOSERS!!!!!!!!!! Not worth my time. truth be told.
 

ZOMGWTFBBQ!!! I'm LOLing!!!

You? College student, sweetheart? 3.4 GPA with those horrendous spelling skills?

And you have time -- not to mentioned the morbidly unhealthy fascination -- to run SEVERAL MSN fan sites?

You're one creepy little fucker, dude.

The pic only comes down if THE PERSON IN THE PIC contacts the site owner, dumbass. Read the fine print. Or get someone to read it for you.

Or contact Ms. Lohan's agent and send her our love. If you lost the number, just let me know. I'll ask Paris to forward it to you!

Have a nice life obsessing over a troubled starlet instead of living your own life, you petulant lil' dullard. I guess I should be thankful that you're not one of those people jizzing over Zac Efron.

Or are you?
 

Irrational, incoherent anon response in 3...2...1...
 

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I think he/she misspelled, I think he/she meant collage student. Y'know: paste, rounded off scissors, and brightly colored shapes of paper.

"Oooooh! Pretty paper shapes! This one looks like a Smurf..."
 

@Mr. Super Lohan Collage Fan

My offer for Ms. Lohan's rehab stands. If you have it in your power, please forward it on to her.
 

I think Mr. Super Lohan Collage Fan's still mad at Ashley for not asking bitch to her birthday sleepover next Friday. Even Sammi's going!

And Josh doesn't like him. Even after bitch make him that friendship bracelet and shit.
 

@il choadrino

RU SERIOUS?!?!11!? That Ashely is SUCH a BITCH!!J!!!!1!

@Mr. Super Lohan Collage Fan

I forgot to mention two things: Please don't violate any restraining orders Ms. Lohan has against you while delivering my offer of rehab. It would cheapen my offer. Also, please assure Ms. Lohan that I will not take dirty pictures of her and sell them to the tabloids. The Albanian Corkscrew I'll be performing will be for my enjoyment only. Also, no one will pay money for pictures of my hairy ass, regardless of who else is in the photo.
 

oh man lohan, that is one hell of a coke-face
 

yeah, Lindsay can nuzzle that coke grin into my hairy stalagtite
 

LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE SHE IS SO AWESOME OMG!!!!
 

YOUR SO MEAN!
 

ZZZOMG IM TELLING CHAD
 

Well lookie here, Chad. For the entire period you're in my room, I better not catch you standing up peeing. You sit down when you pee.
 

Yankee hat = automatic douche.
 

I don't know a chad; you know what - real mature guys. how old are u? keep you stupid picture and smart alec comments; she's taken it from worse than you feebs. I'm leaving this site and never coming back; i'm already sorry i bothered to and read your dum comments.

She will still be famous as hollywoods brightest star long after your all dead and forgotten. One of my favorite Lindsay quotes that maybe you can learn something from is this: “Beauty is grace and confidence. I've learned to accept and appreciate what nature gave me.” you losers need to learn to accept what nature gave you, which is NOTHING except sarcasm and jelousy. keep hating
 

That's a beautiful quote. I think I said that the day after eating Nachos, drinking a Volcano from Mo's Caribbean, and making the toilet look like I just took a Snack Pack and spiked it along the bowl.

Nature gave me explosive diarrhea, and I accepted it with grace and confidence.

If you consider screaming in agony and farting enough to kill a canary grace.
 

"Lindsay Lohan" is an anagram for "Only Hid Anal".

It all makes sense to me now.
 

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Um... Didn't you already say you were leaving once before? But this time YOU REALLY MEAN IT???!!!??!!

So go already. And take all six of your IQ points with you.

Only a simple-minded "dum" person like yourself would call her "hollywoods brightest star". To dare to compare her to Katherine Hepburn, Gloria Swanson, Rita Hayworth, Meryl Streep, Vivien Leigh, Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Marilyn Monroe (yes, she was a pro at comedy), Grace Kelly, Elizabeth Taylor, Carole Lombard, Ingrid Bergman, Catherine Deneuve, or even Cate Blanchett or Helen Mirren is an heinous insult to actresses who actually HAD CAREERS. And this list is far from all-inclusive.

These women are admired and respected for THEIR WORK, for excellence they achieved in the roles they've played. Some, like Bette Davis, were not "hot", but that's beside the point. What performers like Ms. Davis did was to make audiences forget that she was herself; instead, they saw the fully-developed characters she played so convincingly and professionally.

Ms. Lohan, on the other hand, has PROVEN NOTHING. So far, she's had a few good roles -- and some not so good ones. If she's indeed dedicated to her craft, talented, and resilient, we'll find out. But for now, she's a tragic mess who needs to get her shit together and stop fucking up her life with bad personal choices and half-assed musical aspirations.

Your time-wasting, adolescent fanaticism towards her is unsteadily based on her career POTENTIAL and a frantic passion for a stranger who doesn't know you from a bus driver from Omaha. And couldn't really care less, truthfully.

Sorry, dude, but she's able to have fun WITHOUT YOU.

So go away already, you drooling synchophant and jack off somewhere else.
 

I said I was not coming back but I can't help it. at least the hate is directed at me now and not at Lindsay, so at least I accomplished that.

Not that it matters what a guy named poo convention thinks. you ran off a big list of "actressess" that are supposed to be better than Lindsay Lohan but guess what - I never heard of half of them. Carol Lombard? Catherine Deneve? Rita whoever and Vivien whatever? Yeah they're real famous - were they guest on the muppet show in the 70's or something? Nice try but you only show how ignorant you are of Hollywood and whose hot right now. I run one of her TOP TEN fan clubs, what do you do? oh yeah write smart eleck remarks on this amature site. Leave hollywood affairs to the pros, son. truth be told. and she DOES know me, she acknowleged my site and her agency wrote me a letter which i have framed next to this computer and i'm looking at it now. what do you have, prolly not even a high school diploma. LOL

if you want to write mean things do them about Riley Giles who betrayed her trust and is the dumbest man on earth to have touched her, actually touched her, and then betrayed her. Do you konw what i would give just to be in the same room as her? I wish she'd met someone like me in the place she went for peace and quiet but he was there instead. there is no justice. and you wonder why she can't get a break. its all the fault of others but EVERYTIME she gets left holding the blame. you can rant on mr. giles all you want. don't get me started on him, i HATE HIM. If you hated him we could almost be freinds.

I typed way more than i meant to because she is my fave subject (duh, lol) but I can see I'm not preaching to a choir so i have to tell all of you to TALK TO THE HAND. THE LO-HAND. If you want to put up a picture to make fun of do one on the britney girls. or your own picture.'

and I'm telling her agency about this site so get ready for a call from her attorneys, I assure you she has a lot of them and their good.

good by and good ridance! LILO RULZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

doofmonger runs a site for illiterate, troubled & lonely who sit at their computers and strangle their wee-wees, while staring at letters from the agency of a low class, emotionally unstable starlet (though she is hot & she can throttle my man tube anytime). what's the hot topic today, jizz breathe? "prolly" about the amount of exec cock ms. Lohan huffed to land a role in that classic "Herbie, Love Bug" debacle... or more likely her public rebuke by a Paramount exec for her unproffessional behavior during the filming of "Georgia Rule". you, my misguided young turd stool, are a moron. maybe you should focus more energy on your studies at Collage of Retard U. instead of wasting time on this "wortless"site or your own insipid "amature" blog bent on the self destructive status of a free falling celebutard starslut that is Lindsay Lohand-job! oh, & get spell check, doofus.
 

ummm the name of the movie is "Herbie Fully Loaded", DUH-HUH disqualified for being CLUELESS. It was only the BEST film of 2005 nominated for 3 awards and grossed $65 million in box office.

And if you got your news from Ms. Lohan's official web site instead of the biased media thats out to get her you would know that the problem with Georgia Rules was with the withered old diva called Jane Fonda who is jelous of Lindsay and decided to wreck her career. Or TRY to, nice try hannoy jane.

you people are sad because you will believe anything you see in the news or on the internet instead of THE TRUTH. I only wish she could see me defendinng her honor against you baboons.

and FYI I don't run an amateur blog, it is a FAN CLUB WEB SITE, one of the best of not THE best. this is an amatuer blog that you write on.
 

lolz@the anon collager for pretending not to know who all those actresses are. That takes balls. And by balls, I mean you can't possibly have a 3.4 GPA anywhere except community college, because real college students like myself actually have to spend time in class, studying, and doing homework, not running 'fan sites' for talentless crackwhores like your beloved 'Miss Lohan'.
 

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Ladies and gentlemen, once again the joke writes itself:

"...how ignorant you are of Hollywood and whose hot right now"...??

"...you ran off a big list of "actressess" that are supposed to be better than Lindsay Lohan but guess what - I never heard of half of them. Carol Lombard? Catherine Deneve? Rita whoever and Vivien whatever?..."

"...how ignorant you are of Hollywood and whose hot right now..."??

"...Leave hollywood affairs to the pros, son..." ???

"...what do you have, prolly not even a high school diploma. LOL..." ????

"...hannoy jane..."?

"...talk to the LO-HAND..."?

"...(Herbie Fully Loaded) was only the BEST film of 2005 nominated for 3 awards and grossed $65 million in box office..."???

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

Oh God, this is awesome.

I couldn't write a better deranged monologue if I was drunk, stoned, and cracked out on coke and 'ludes. This is DELUSION in its highest -- and funniest --form.

LULZ!

But hey, I'm not even gonna try to deconstruct your rambling diatribe point by point. Your attention span probably comes in fifteen-second bursts and is likely interrupted by creepy daydreams of you pawing through Ms. Lohan's panty drawer. And attempting to explain my post-graduate (that's college, junior) background in cinema and the arts to you would be like trying to explain a W-40 to my senile cat.

Only less successful.

You should really seek help for your obsessive-compulsive disorder before you do anything REALLY stupid.

Oh wait, you already have.

Three times.

Begone, for the FOURTH time, you mouth-breathing creepy boy.

Unless you're up for another verbal smackdown.

We'd be more than happy to oblige. This is FUN!

Because you've got no idea who you're messing with, child.

:)
 

I in fact do attend a community college (Normandale Community College, Bloomington Minnesota) majoring in criminal justice and i assure you it IS a "real college" as you put it. I work my butt of for my 3.4 gpa so don't be such a snob. Ooooo let me guess, you went to a "real" college, like FSU or some other keg stand. you may be working for me in 2 years.

my dream is to become a member of Miss Lohan's private security force; then i could get paid to crack paparatzy and hater skulls. like yours.

I know enough about law that I could shut this site down if i really felt like doing it. then what would you losers do? make fun of your momma until she kicks you out?

that's what I thought. LOSERS. truth be told. PWNED!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!

LiLo For3v3r

I got the last word; I'm out. enjoy the BURN.
 

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This is just the thread that keeps on giving. I love it. I doubly love the irony of the fact that this site is Hot Chicks with Douchebags, so Mr. Lohan Super Fan Collage Security Threat is angry at us for classifying Lohan as a hot chick and Riley as the douchebag.
 

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Last word?

Hardly.

First, I think you should check out dlisted.com and check out the new pics of your goddess' latest fling in Capri (where she's gettin' award for her contributions to film -- Madonna was not available). She's all over Italian actor Dario Faiella like like a Chinese counterfeit Armani suit.

In public on a white leather couch.

And later, partially dressed, she's making out with him on her balcony the next morning. Riley Giles is looking like David Beckham by comparison.

Wholesome little flower, she is.

Second, to know that you're everything I thought you'd be, and less, should give me great satisfaction.

It doesn't.

I'd go on making light of your extreme obsession with Ms. Lohan, but you're not right in the head, kid.

You have some serious and potentially dangerous issues with illusions of grandeur. The fact that you're studying criminal justice makes the situation even more ominous. Your intense behavior wouldn't be seen as aberrant in a developing pre-adolescent; in an independent adult like you, however, it's just inappropriate and unhealthy.

If I were Ms. Lohan's publicist and had seen what you've written here, I'd probably contact her legal team about preparing a pre-emptive restraining order against you should you further reveal your identity and intentions. You sound prone to violence and emotional instability. You appear to have all the warning signs of becoming a stalker.

You do know that security firms have extensive psychological screenings before they hire up, don't you? Something tells me you'd probably never make it past the first interview.

You may have the last word if you like, but I'm gonna follow my wise grandma's advice to never, ever argue with crazy people. But before I leave this thread to move onto more sane territory, let me leave you with this thought:

Get help. Now.
 

Good thing Mr. Lohan Super Fan Collage Security Threat was here to throw his body on the hand grenade. Frankly, waiting until Friday, March 21st to crucify Jesus again was a bit too long a wait for me.
 

hey Lohan idolizing, nimrod stroker, a movie such as "Herbie Fully Bloated" cost about $60 mil to shoot, then add another$45 to market & distribute, so the $65 mil box office (while respectable) was a disappointment if not quite a flop for the studio. Then your precious Ms. Lohan shoots herself in the ass by fouling up her only serious acting gig on "Georgia Rule" by going out nightly polluting herself with booze, drugs & Iranian valet cock preventing herself to show up for work in any state fit to perform (btw "Hanoi Jane" has an Oscar). Poor lil' LiLo has now relegated herself to roles as the sexy Klingon or possibly hot ape lady in future sequel schlock. That is until her luscious young looks fade (from afforementioned booze, drugs & douchebag handpuppetry) & she is left to do Masengale ads, celebrity boxing & dancing with the stars. Also, creepy twits like you actually frighten poor lil' Ms. Lohan, & "her security team" "prolly" has you on a watch for list. I suggest that you branch out in your studies @ Normandale Community Collage to include some psychology classes so you may gain some insight to your unhealthy obsession & fixation on this slutty starlet. Individuals suffering from delusions, such as yourself, never seek professional help until court ordered. I pity your sad, pathetic & lonely existence.
 

Y'know that limp-wristed handshake you get from some people, and there's no term for it? I think I've found one: "Lindsay Lohan Hand Job With a Twist of the Wrist".
 

Whatever, losers. you can type a steven king size thread and still not change reality; she's the queen of hollywood and your still fat guys borrowing his moms computer for jelous rants.

this does remind me of the movie 300, because i alone have served you dorks your asses, taken you all on at once, and besting you. I only wish Lindsay could read this, except then she'd read the cruel garbage you wrote about her.

THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!
 

I'm heading back to NCC from the next semester so don't bother responding; I'm not EVER coming back to this dumb site. Just remember who got in the last word. oooo snap!
 

Hi!

Just checking in for my daily dose of crazy!

I needed a laugh. I knew I'd find it here from Creepy McStalker. And I'm so right.

Do we have "Not EVER coming back" goodbye number FIVE?

Or is it SIX? I've lost count.

Whatever, you're still insane.

ooooooooooo, psycho!

End of story.
 

And by the way, LiLo's still fucking Italian actors and waiters in Capri RIGHT NOW and letting the clock run out on her "career".

Guess it sucks to be you, psycho?

Like I need to ask...
 

the only thing I'm jealous of is that she isn't munching my tool right now instead some greasy, hairy, dago bastard. Queen of Hollywood my ass, she couldn't even tote Scarlet Johansons thong, let alone sniff at it! & you are still a pathetic loner!
 

the only thing I'm jealous of is that she isn't munching my tool right now instead some greasy, hairy, dago bastard. Queen of Hollywood my ass, she couldn't even tote Scarlet Johansons thong, let alone sniff at it! & you are still a pathetic loner!
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Just a thought: Do straight dudes actually say "oooo snap!!!"???

It sounds more like something Zac Efron would say.

Discuss.
 

sounds like jocular lockeroom talk, like when Roman Gabriel reaches out & pulls on Jeff Garcia's jock strap & let's it go.... "Oooh snap" he chortles with glee! I also don't believe straight guys make references to "300", unless to say, "rad battle scenes, dude". Nor do they shout, "THIS IS SPARTA" unless they want to get railed in da booty by Aegamenon.
 

I have read the comments. I can't lie. I laughed, I cried. However, I have to give my verdict -- Lohan's anonymous defender has to be a troll. BCS, or Poo Convention, please come forward.

(And did I imagine the part where people were debating the place of "Herbie Fully Loaded" in modern cinema? That was like a Cronenberg vignette. Weirdly compelling, but completely nonsensical.)
 

Oh please return fair stalker and click on this link:

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3325

Your obsession in a whore.
 

@art of the douche:

Wasn't me.

I can't make up crazy like this.

This is 100% natural crazy, with no preservatives or additives.
 

that is NOT her. you can't even see the face of that woman clearly. i bet you believe all those porno pictures that say they are brittany spears or madonna or pam anderson are really them too don't you. Hellooooo its called photoshop you may have heard of it well prolly not now that i think about it

i'm not a troll you are "art of the douche" and as far as me being anonymous i'm sure that's not your real name so NOW whose a hypocrit. truth be told!

and poo convention somehow knows Ms. Lohan is in Italy but somehow I AM THE STALKER? you are confusing stalker with admirer - some people support greatness instead of just tear it down like you IDIOTS

I'm done with this crap- i'm back in school working on a FUTURE. enjoy your slide downhill MORONS. I don't have time for this anymore some of us have REAL lives.

but take heart im cutting and pasting this whole thread onto my tribute site so all the fans can see how I OWNED YOUR ASSES AND YOU WERE TO DUM TO NOTICE. 1 vs 10 and i won; i guess that makes me Bruce Willis. yippee kay-yay, MF's!!!!!!!!!!
 

Man, I seriously hope all your fans read what you copy/paste and see what kind of creepy moron is running the site they frequent.

And count it, is that "I'm done with this website" number 6 or 7?

And did anyone bother to check that fan site? Over 570 members! And they all go to a site that resembles something a colorblind 3 year old with fetal alcohol syndrome would create.
 

@anon 12:06

Fetal alcohol syndrome would explain a lot of our friend's personality disorders, never mind the poor grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I try not to get up on my high horse about grammar too often, but Sweet Jebus, he spelled "DUM" wrong in his latest diatribe. It makes me weep for America.
 

Mr White "dum" is a word, as in "dum-dum". But you miss-spelled "Jesus". How sad is that? Pot calling the kettle black?

The problem her is that you are making fun of a picture but YOU DON'T KNOW THE PERSON. You probably are not aware that she is a recording artist too, unlike Jane "no-talent" Fonda. I think her lyrics speak for themelves; try understanding before you HATE. Read these lyrics with an open mind; she wrote them from her HEART and they changed my life:

"Fastlane"

It's lonely sometimes in the fastlane
People come and go like rain
And I look around for a hand to hold
But there's no one here today
Everyone has gone away
And left me in the fray

So don't wish upon a star
Cuz a star can only get you so far
And it doesn't matter who you are
Cuz the sky looks better from the ground anyways
You never know what you've got
And even if you do it doesn't mean it's gonna stay
Tomorrow is another day
You only live once and I'm living for today

I'm living for today

So I drive around the superficial town
With a smile on my face
No one really knows how I feel inside
And I'm keeping it that way
It's my story to replay
And the fastlanes where I wanna stay"


Does that help you understand Lindsay the PERSON? Because she's a real person. The STAR is some falsehood created by tabloid so they can cash in on tearing it down.

Heres another GREAT song, i only wish you could hear the music

"Rumors"

Saturday steppin' into the club
And it makes me wanna tell the DJ
Turn It Up
I feel the energy all around
And my body can't stop moving to the sound

But I can tell that you're watching me
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see
Well I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

Here we are back up in the club
People taking pictures
Don't you think they get enough
I just wanna be all over the floor
And throw my hands up in the air to a beat like (What?)

I've gotta say respectfully
I would like it if you take the cameras off of me
'Cause I just want a little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
But not the way you want me to


I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

I just need to free my mind (my mind)
Just wanna dance and have a good time (good time)

I'm tired of rumors (rumors)
Followed (followed, followed, followed, followed, followed)

What they (follow) me
Why can't they (they they they-they-they) let me live

Take this for just what it is"

See, if you listen to this, and get it, REALLY GET IT, then you might change your views. Maybe even your LIFE. She's that powerful a personality. We could even be friends...?

I'm done, that's all there is to say. If you change your minds theirs room in the fan club. 4U!
 

So, because she's a "movie star" AND a recording artist, that makes her incredible? I'm sorry, but the last movie star/recording artist that I can recall is Olivia Newton John (oh, wait...that's before your time, too)...she starred in and did the music for a movie called Xanadu, which flopped horribly (although the title song was pretty popular).

I've seen exactly one movie in which Lindsey plays a part: A Prarie Home Companion. She was totally outclassed by Virginia Madsen, Meryl Streep, and Lily Tomlin...
 

Wow. Trust me when I say I'm completely at ease with not being able to hear the music. Just seeing the words makes me sad enough inside. :(

For my own sanity, I am going to have to continue to assume you are a figment of someone's imagination. Although I have grave doubts as to whether anyone on this site would be able to summon Lohan's lyrics on command.

(Lastly, in light of that "Rumors" crap, I am going to have to declare irony officially dead. At least it outlived denim shorts.)

Final add -- Xanadu was insanely lame, although I'm not sure anyone could have predicted a roller-rink fantasy movie would do so badly in the late 70's. That crap was happening back then.
 

creepy, no life so I have to adore slutty, no class, lowend starlet-harlot LiLo, just wont go away. Don't you get it? Nobody on this site believes Ms. Lohan to be more than a hot looking (really she is) self involved, self distructive, spoiled & pampered, preening princess of media fame with little to no talent... god, she is hot though, & I would crush your skull with an axe handle for the chance to lick the lint from between her toes. So leave us mr. fan club web troll we can't stand the "burn" from you any more. & in case they haven't taught you at Normandale Community College of Bloominton, Minnesota that wa sarcasm. On this site we adore hot chicks (like your Ms. Lohan) and abuse douchebags, choads, acrotes & whiny little moronic fucks like yourself. Now go fondle your little man meat in front of a mirror while repeating your mantra, "I'm defending Lynnie, I'm defending Lynnie!"
 

I will see your Lohan lyrics and raise you Sting lyrics. These lyrics are approximately equal in creativity and artistic value.

Lyrics courtesy of the end of "Message in a Bottle" by Sting and the Police:

I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
Sending out at an S.O.S.
 

I'll see your Sting lyrics and raise them with Journey's "Loving Touching Squeezing":

"Hes tearin you apart
Every day, every day
Hes tearin you apart
Oh girl what can you say?
Cause hes lovin, touchin another
Now its your turn, girl to cry
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na"
 

yeah that's reeeeeeal funny; I should have known your only point of reference would be Dad Rock. Snoooore.

She's a vital young LADY that likes to go clubbing and grooving to a beat; put your vinil records back on the shelf fans. classic rock like lead zepplin, journey, pearl jam metalica etc is all crap that should have died with the 8-tracks they were played on. Music like hers is the FUTURE and your coming at me with the PAST, oldsters. Dont break a hip bone trying to shake your big asses to the oldies.

pathetic now i know what they mean about casting pearls before swine. the only one of you that has made sense is the guy that said Lindsay was hot (and SHE IS) but then said he would beat my head with an ax handle. good luck with that idiot you forgot my major is criminal justice and I KNOW how to handle a taser, bro so you can put rambo back in your pants bucko. you guys keep calling me crazy all you want but this site is the really loony bin. make fun of the other pictures but stop putting her sweet name in your foul rotten denture mouths. Talk about the spears slut sisters instead whydontya.

I'm LEAVING. I can't believe i bothered coming back for more pathetic attempts at abuse by you old clowns. heres lyrics for you: "Iron man! Smoooooke on the water! Smells like teen spirit! wahhh-hoooo blah blah blah!" yeah, that's WAY better than Ms Lohan's writing about deep feelings and keeping it real.

dumb old hippys
 

This has to be a troll. Darksock, is that you? If it is -- don't tase me, bro.

Oh yeah. I see your Journey lyrics and raise you Crash Test Dummies lyrics --

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
Mmmm (sp.?), mmmm, mmmm.
 

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

"I'm LEAVING."

AGAIN?!?!?!?!

This is GOODBYE number seven. Or eight. I've lost count.

"I can't believe i bothered coming back for more pathetic attempts at abuse by you old clowns."

Yeah. We can't believe you came back for more, either. But I'm really not surprised.

Maybe you've heard -- but probably not -- that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing OVER and OVER and OVER again and expecting different results every time.

Dude, you are living proof.

You keep coming back for more smackdowns while the rest of us are laughing our asses off. It's like us beating a batshit loonball squirrel repeatedly with a stick.

And check this, just in from Reuters an hour ago:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan fell off the sobriety wagon on New Year's Eve, her lawyer said on Thursday, ending a year that saw the star check into rehab several times and land in jail for drunken driving and cocaine possession.

Oh, and there are pictures. Lots of them. More and more and more are popping up all over the net from all kinds of sources. Your photoshop conspiracy's so random it kills me. The whole world's against her!!!

JUST HER LUCK, huh?

Get it?

LOL!

Now why don't you go play with your My Scene Lohan doll and let the grownups talk, okay?

Thanks for the fun, Ashley Not-so-Bright!
 

So is this why you never call me anymore?

Because you're always online talking shit to strangers?
 

Maggie, you stay out of this or I'll shove my pink cowboy hat up yer ass! He's mine, dammit!
 

Hey, bitches!

Just sayin' hi!
 

Tasers make me horny.
 

Shut UP, Cady!
 

Psycho sez:

"and poo convention somehow knows Ms. Lohan is in Italy but somehow I AM THE STALKER? you are confusing stalker with admirer - some people support greatness instead of just tear it down like you IDIOTS

Wackjob, I'm no stalker. I'm not the one with the 500-member fansite, remember?

Check out any celeb site -- take your pick -- and she's FRONT PAGE. Hell, check out CNN, Yahoo, or Google news and there she is, sprawled out on top of Mr. Hairy Whats-His-Name with a lit (no pun intended) cigarette in one hand. You can't miss this story about her. Anywhere.

Way to get noticed, LiLo!!!

So until next time, psycho...

PC
 

Greatest.Thread.Ever.

I hope Nimrod: Defender of Freckletitts keeps coming back.
 

I know who fucked me.

I think.

It was dark.

I think.

Or was I drunk?

Again.
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

Now that was one funny troll(s)...
 

@Art of the Douche,

Oh, yeah? I'll raise you some Three Non Blondes lyrics and call:

"I said hey, hey, hey, yeah."
"Hey, hey, yeah. I said hey..."
...
...
...
"What's goin' on?"

Repeat 20 times until you damage your brain with the nearest stapler and stab the person who played the song with a coffee stirrer.

Odd thing is, your co-workers and Human Resources will not find that to be actionable behavior.

BTW, I feel stupider than a Lindsey Lohan fan boi just for having typed out those lyrics.
 

classic rock like lead zepplin, journey, pearl jam metalica etc is all crap that should have died with the 8-tracks they were played on.

And the fact that Led Zeppelin is still putting out songs...?

"Dad Rock", huh? I don't know if you've noticed this, but so-called "dad rock" is now coming back into mainstream music: commercials, background music for TV shows, snippets being grabbed for other songs, etc.

I can't wait for 20, 30, hell 40 years down the road, when it's possible that today's popular music is looked down upon as "trashy, boring, ancient artifacts of a past time" and what people nowadays see as "oldies" is popular (again).

BTW, I'm 23 and absolutely love 60s, 70s, 80s, and even some 90s songs...can't stand a lot of today's "popular" songs...they're too whiny, too pretentious, and too predictable.
 

@ Squatch:

Damn; I fold. All I had was a pair of Winger song lyrics. Well played, sir.

WAIT! What's this I see? Warrant's Cherry Pie lyrics? I'm back in, beeyotch!
 

well, aubrey fleming (if that is your real name) and poo convention (that prolly IS your real name - oooo, PWNED!!!1!!), maybe you need a lesson in reality. you keep talking about crap you find from the news media...well that's teh same ones that told us sadam had mass weapons se we'd go to war and that katrina broke the levis instead of deliberate sabatage and that clinton did not have sex with that woman. So their gos your theory, gullible sheep. you believe anything your told as long as it tells you what you want to hear. learn to think for yourself, why don't you? end of lecture.

go flap your hippy dentures at one of the new pictures and leave this thread already. I'm sick of all of you. you can make fun of me all you want, i'm like teflon. but keep her name out of your mouths. or else.

Being a gentlemen defending a lady's honor is not "crazy" but you should go back and read some of the stuff you dummys wrote. most of it makes no sense like your speaking some made up language anyway. maybe its senility beginning in your head. LOL - PWNED!!!1!!!
 

@they might be douches, squatch:

I'll see your Four Non-Blondes, Winger, AND Warrant lyrics with T Pain:

Shawty Snap (Yeah)
T-Pain
Damn
Shawty Snap
Young Joc (Shawty)

[Young Joc:]
Ay Ay
She Snappin
Ah She Snappin
Shawty Snappin

[T-Pain:]
Snap Ya Fingers Do The Step You Can Do It All By Yourself

[Verse 1:]
Baby Girl
Whats Your Name
Let Me Talk To You
Let Me Buy You A Drink
I'm T-Pain, You Know Me
Konvict Music Have Every Boy Like Ohh Wee
I Know The Club Close At 3
Whats The Chance A You Rollin Wit Me
Back To The Crib
Show You How I Live
Lets Get Drunk Forget What We Did

[Chorus:]
Imma Buy You A Drank
Then Imma Take You Home With Me
I Got Money In The Bank
Shawty Whachu Think Bout That
Find Me In The Grey Cadillac
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ohh, Ooh Ooh
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh

[Verse 2:]
Talk To Me, I Talk Back
Lets Talk Money, I Top That
Crunk Juice Bottle
Oakly Shades
Shawty Got Class
Oh Behave
Lets Get Gone
Walk It Out (Walk It Out)
Just Like That
That's What I'm Talkin' Bout
We Gone Have Fun
You Gone See
On That Patron
You Should Get Like Me

[Chorus:]
Imma Buy You A Drank
Then Imma Take You Home With Me
I Got Money In The Bank
[Buy You A Drink lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

Shawty Whachu Think Bout That
Find Me In The Grey Cadillac
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ohh, Ooh Ooh
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh

[Verse 3: Young Joc]
Wont You Meet Me At The Bar
Respect Big Pimpin'
Tell Me How You Feel
Mama Tell Me What You Sippin'
A Certified Dime Piece
Deserve Louy 1-3
150 A Shot
3 For You And 3 For Me
I'm Checkin' Yo Body Language
I Love The Conversation
And When You Lick Your Lips
I Get A Tinglin' Sensation
Now Were Both Bout Tipsy
You Say You In The Mood
All I Need Is Bout A Hour
Better Yet Maybe Two
Let Me Take You Where I Live
Ferrari Switch Gears
When I Whisper In Ya Ear
Ya Legs Hit The Chandleer
Passion Fruit And Sex
All In The Atmosphere
Imma Let T-Pain Sing It
So He Can Make It Clear

[Chorus:]
Imma Buy You A Drank
Then Imma Take You Home With Me
I Got Money In The Bank
Shawty Whachu Think Bout That
Find Me In The Grey Cadillac
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ohh, Ooh Ooh
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh

[Verse 4:]
Lets Get Gone
Walk It Out
(Now Walk It Out Bang Yo Body, Aaahhh Snap)
Now Rock Rock Rock Rock
You Can Do It All By Yo'self
[x2]

[Chorus:]
Imma Buy You A Drank
Then Imma Take You Home With Me
I Got Money In The Bank
Shawty Whachu Think Bout That
Find Me In The Grey Cadillac
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ohh, Ooh Ohh
We In The Bed Like
Ooh Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh




Ooh Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh.

Indeed.
 

Any REAL LiLo fanboy would know that

Aubrey Fleming,

Maggie Peyton,

Mary Elizabeth Cep,

Anna Coleman,

Lola Johnson,

Cady Heron,

and Dakota Moss

were

ALL CHARACTERS LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYED IN HER LAST SIX MOVIES.

Or did that one go right over the top of your tiny lil' pointed head, psycho?

And unlike those who believe "that katrina broke the levis instead of deliberate sabatage", (wtf?) HER LAWYER wrote that press release and delivered it to the media for damage control after the weeked in Capri.

And if you don't believe the media, did her relationship with Riley Giles REALLY EVEN HAPPEN???

Kinda blows yer mind, don't it?

As I said before, Lindsay Lohan is a very troubled girl. She needs serious help. She also needs people to help her pull herself back from doing some pretty stupid things and quit enabling her self-destructive behavior. But ultimately she's the one who's gonna have to stop intentionally drawing attention to herself by putting herself in these very stupid public positions.

You are NOT HELPING be ignoring her trouble with your obsession.


And the best you can come up with is "PWNED!!!1!"?

That's it?

Until next time, psycho.
 

damn poo you're in it to win it.


But I counter with a pair of Queens: "Body Language" AND "Theme to Flash Gordon" (DOUCHE! AH-AHHHHHH!).
 

@poo convention
I'm raising the stakes here. I'll see your T-Pain and raise you (dramatic music) a George Harrison.

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you

I think I'm starting to hemmorage
 

I think Lohan Fan is a victim of fecal alcohol syndrome.
 

I'll see your George Harrison and raise the stakes further: ANYTHING by Lil Jon:

"You from the south side nigga represent that shit
You from the mid-west nigga represent that shit
You from that east coast nigga represent that shit
You from the west coast nigga represent that shit
Now throw your motherfuckin' click up high in the sky
Now throw your motherfuckin' boys up high in the sky
Now throw your motherfuckin' squad up high in the sky
Now throw your motherfuckin' sets up high in the sky

Get crunk in this bitch, shake your dreads in this bitch
Get crunk in this bitch, throw some bows in this bitch
Get crunk in this bitch, niggas start that shit
Get crunk in this bitch, niggas start that shit
Get crunk in this bitch, start pushing and shit
Get crunk in this bitch, run around in this bitch
Get crunk in this bitch, run around in this bitch
Get crunk in this bitch, start a mosh pit
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
Ohh what's this shit that you throwin' up, East side nigga,
Ohh What's the click that you represent, West side nigga,
Ohh what's this shit that you throwin' up, North side nigga,
Ohh what's the click that you represent, South side nigga.
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk
 

I was holding onto this card, but I can see it's time to put your money down because of the high rollers: I'll see all of you, raise with "Muskrat Love" and call:

"Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
doin' the town and doin' it right
in the evenin', it's pretty pleasin'

Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug
Out in the muskrat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy's so skinny

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jinglin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

Nibblin' on bacon, chewin' on cheese
Sammy says to Susie
"Honey, would you please be my missus?"
And she says yes with her kisses

And now he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her ties
muzzle to muzzle now
anything goes
as they wiggle
and Sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jinglin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love"
 

Okay, time to drop the bomb on this one with Soulja Boy's "Booty Meat":

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat

Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat All Up On Me Soulja Boy
Up In This Thang Cum An Hang Wit Me Im Ya H Boom Coon Champaign Wit Me
Take A Bubble Bath Cum An Switch Lanes Wit Me Im Da #1 Stunna Let Me See What
You Got Im The Baller Round Town Let Me See How You Pop
Im Ya Gurl Best Friend Let Me See How You Hop
Put That Thang In The Air Then Make It Drop

Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

Gurl B Double O-T-Y-M-E A T You Know It Dats Dat Bootymeat
I Got A Car Full Of Girls And We Makin A Creep
Soulja Boy Up In This Thang Puttin Shawty To Sleep
Im Ready For Wateva If You Know Wat I Mean
Come Hur Lil Shawty You Dat Bootymeat Queen
Bootymeat In My Face Even When I B Talkin
All Da Gurls Love Me And Dey Straight Up B Stalkin

Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

Gurl Well I Guess Its My Time Im Bout To Steal Da Show Soulja Boy 2006 An You Already
Know Im Bout To Hit Da Spot And Im Ready To Go Hole Bunch Of Fine Gurlz
Dey Form Head To Toe Im Ya H Boom Coon Like I Said Before
Let Me See You Turn Around Just Like A Pro Shake It For Me Shawty Till You Cant No Mo
You A Mans Bestfriend Im Just Lettin You Know

Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat



Heh.
 

Community Collage, obcessed with trashy screen slut, troll boy, after I hit you over the head w/an axe handle I just might shove it up yer arse, BEFORE I lick the lint out from between Lil Ms. LiLo's toes, then I would play paddy-cake with her Boobies!

"Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight!
A-a-a-a-a-a-a-afternoon Deeeeeeliiiiight!!" now the thats some deeply sensitive & emo shit!
 

Hey guys -- and loonball:

I'm packing up and going away for the weekend out at the lake. Have a great time here and elsewhere.

Let me leave you with one more set of lyrics from "Trigger Happy Jack" by Poe:


He scares easily
It makes him so... angry
At me

And his head it spins around
Just like the exorcist and I
Find it ever so
Hard to resist his cries

But there's nothing more sadistic than an infant
Waving his pistol in my face
He wants me right down on my knees
Crumbling in disgrace

But he underestimates my mind
I know he's messing with my head
My only weakness is
I can't believe the guy could be entirely dead

You can't talk to a psycho like a normal
human being
Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being
Trigger Happy Jack you're gonna blow
But I'm gonna get off before you go
My Trigger Happy Jack is just a drive by
A Go-Go...



Later, mates.
 

Crazy Collage Stalker:

I'll happily keep LiLo's name out of my mouth if I can replace it with one of her nipples.
 

Well, at least nobody quoted John Mayer lyrics in this thread. That would have turned me from laughing uncontrollably to retching uncontrollably.
 

@ poo convention:

That's right, you better run because I was about to have to bust out the fat boy nuke: The Butthole Surfer's "Moving to Florida":

Well, well I been movin' down to Florida.
And I'm gonna bowl me a perfect game.
Well I'm gonna cut off my leg down in Florida, child.
And I'm gonna dance one-legged off in the rain.
Now, they say that Sidney Poitier was a blind man.
And they say that LBJ was a Soviet Jew.
When I go down Florida Way,
They're ain't no kind of sexual healing that I would not, could not, should
Not do, stick it right here.
Well I been movin' down to Florida.
I'm gonna potty train the chairman Mao.
I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child.
And I'm gonna grind me up a White Castle side out of India's sacred cow.
Well, I been movin' down Florida Way,
And I'm gonna build me the atomic bomb.
Well, I'm gonna hold time hostage down in Florida, child.
Ain't nobody, said ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Right here.
By this time I guess you've figured out about Florida.
Drink the muddy water in the Vaseline stain.
They be makin' tadpoles the size of Buicks down in Florida.
That be tellin' Julio Iglesias what to sing, now.
Now, whoever said that Sidney Poitier was a blind man,
Knew the same of Elvis Presley, too.
When I go down Florida Way,
Ain't nobody, said ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Right here.
Well I been goin' down to Florida.
Pole cats lie naked in the Seminole sin.
When I go down Florida Way,
Like Vince, I wanna' win.
Well I went down to Florida.
I got away.
I took the children down to Florida.
I stuck the dick down the drain.
Get that boy down to Florida.
Give him a switch blade.
Tell him what to do."
 

mr. white, congratulations. you don't need a degree in criminal justice to know you just crossed the line to sexual harrassment. If she wanted to she could now get a restraining order against you not to mention libel. you need to watch your filthy mouth before you get cuffed, SON.

and BTW you miss spelled COLLEGE you high school drop out. HA HA HA HA

idiot.
 

Oh, I shouldn't, but I will.

Crazy Stalker:

I'd explain the whole "collage" vs. "college" thing to you as it pertains to the running joke in this thread, but that would make me tired. It seems even more pointless since you misspelled "miss spelled." Let's just leave the academic bonafides out of this, m'kay?

Secondly, you seriously misunderstand libel. I have in no way insulted or defamed Ms. Lohan by expressing my desire to suckle at her nipples. In fact, quite the opposite: The fact that I find her hot enough to want to engage in sexual relations with her is usually considered a compliment. If I made fun of the shape, color, or hairiness of her nipples, it might be libel, but I would not do this. I'm sure her nipples are lovely.
 

last warning. seriously.
 

I'm pretty sure before she got a restraining order against mr. white, she'd get a restraining order against our favorite anonymous. Seriously.
 

i refuse to believe crazy stalker is real.
i refuse to believe there are people this crazy who are not slobbering all over themselves in a mental health facility because of all the meds they are on.
its simply too scary.
i call bullshit,
but hilarious nonetheless
 

I submit my humble entry by The Police to the song lyrics battle.

You don't have to put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)
Put on the red light (Roxanne)

...aaaaaand so on through the fade.
 

gonna bust some Pop 'O Pies on ya
make those doughnuts with extra grease,
this batch is for the chief of police.
make those doughnuts with extra grease,
this batch is for the chief of police
make those doughnuts with extra grease
this batch is for the chief of police
make those doughnuts with extra grease
this batch is for the chief of police
make those doughnuts with extra grease
this batch is for the secret police

how you like those thought provoking lyrics of sensitiviy, goony Collage boy nut job?
all your cowing before the Lohan altar does not make her any less of a whore.

wait 'til Flyteeth gets a piece of your weak-ass schtick.... please just go away!
 

I'm surprised nobody's thrown up Gary Glitter's "Rock 'n Roll Part II" yet, although it does lose something in the translation to text:

Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
x47,000
 

I'm sure Lyndsay's nipples are all puckered & shrivelly by now, White, as they have been suckled by greasy douche choads innumerable.... nearly everyone, but, our moronic stalker troll.
 

real nice harry who cant even spell "harry".

I don't care what you goons say anymore, it doesn't make me mad at all. your just trying to provoke an angry response now and I won't give you retards teh satisfaction.

I'm right and I stand for what's right. i took the high road at every turn and you all just slung mud at me because I defended the honor of a beautiful talented singer/actress. your wrong and have no morals or decency or fashion sense or taste and you DAMN SURE dont know about what is popular and hot in this country right now so go pop in your jimmy hendrix 8-track, whatever. I hope you all die of a stroke. I HATE YOU ALL.
 

"i took the high road at every turn "

"I hope you all die of a stroke. I HATE YOU ALL."

one hell of a high road
 

does this mean troll, stalker, fan web boy is finally gone for good? let's hope so, sheesh
 

Real nice, anon stalker troll who can't spell "Jimi". If you're going to insult one of the greatest guitarists in history (of course, what does that matter next to the phenomenal vocal proficiency of our beloved LiLo), at least have the decency to spell his name right. And why would we listen to him on an 8-track? Vinyl is much more authentic, I find.
 

How I hope you are actually a community college-going soul and not Darksock, BCS, Pfah, Squatch, etc. Toward that end, I will engage one point you offered. And I quote --

"your wrong and have no morals or decency or fashion sense or taste and you DAMN SURE dont know about what is popular and hot in this country right now so go pop in your jimmy hendrix 8-track, whatever."

First, it's "you're", not "your."

Second, the level of unitentional irony when you accuse us of having no morals or decency for questioning Lohan's famously debauched lifestyle is off "the charts", "the chain", or even "the chizzy", if you prefer your (ed. note -- observe correct use of word) rebuttal Snoopalicious.

Third, please do not confuse our disdain for Lohan as our failure to know what is currently popular. It is precisely because we are aware that people like her are considered "famous" and popular in today's world that we collectively weep, even while we make hilarious posts. It's tough, but we are up to it.

Fourth, as someone else astutely noted, it's "Jimi" not Jimmy. To paraphrase another, those who do not remember how to spell the past are condemned to have really bad taste in music and movies.

As a final note, please follow through on your promise that you will post all of these comments on your fan page. Seriously.
 

Here are quotes of every time our lovely anonymous has said something along the lines of "Bye, I'm not coming back".

1: "I'm OUT, LOSERS!!!!!!!!!! Not worth my time. truth be told."

2: "I'm leaving this site and never coming back; i'm already sorry i bothered to and read your dum comments.""

3: "good by and good ridance! LILO RULZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

4: "I got the last word; I'm out. enjoy the BURN."

5: "I'm heading back to NCC from the next semester so don't bother responding; I'm not EVER coming back to this dumb site. Just remember who got in the last word. oooo snap!"

6: "I'm done with this crap- i'm back in school working on a FUTURE."

7: "I'm done, that's all there is to say."

8: "I'm LEAVING. I can't believe i bothered coming back for more pathetic attempts at abuse by you old clowns"

Sadly, not every post ended with one of these. Also, after #8, there's been another few responses. And I hope there will be more to add to that list.
 

I just wanted to point out that while you penis breaths taunt me and Lindsay guess who's in teh news with yet another melt-down? Your golden girl Britney spears, AGAIN. So it looks like you collared the wrong perp, as we say in criminal justice.

And you are idiots; it is "Jimmy"; i don't recall seeing Jimi Stewart, Jimi Carter, Jimy nuetron. if your guitar god is so great why couldn't he even spell his own name right? and hes gay too, that song says excuse me while i kiss this guy.....oh or maybe THATS why you turd burglers like him so much. well i am 100 persent hetero i like girls, especially goddess named Lindsay.

Dont' bother writing anyting after this i am gone for good. you have no points left for me to discredit. I ran this like a mock interrogation like we get taught in C.J. class, cought you in your lies and you incriminated yourselves. like i say , truth be told. Like Dr. Dre says: U cant mess with a MASTERMIND. word. word UP. hah-hah-HAH!
 

I knew that was you, Darksock. Do I get any bonus points?
 

darksock

you are an evil fuck. that was still hilarious though.
 

Bravo, darksock. I'm going to miss this thread.
 

darksock you're a disgusting PIG!
 

darksock, who do you think you are? I think this guy is kinda cute. you are a deceitful PIG. who do you think I am? I happen run a fan web page for Oprah that has 5, er, 50, I mean 50,000 subscribers! you sir are a foul, filthy & disturbed individual! marry me
 

ok darksock, be cruel & aloof. if you wont take me as your darkbride, simply be my babydaddy
 

I'm going to miss my overweight community college sophomore criminal justice Lohan lovin' passive-aggressive alter ego....I'll remember him as Preston Sprayberry, member of the Bloomington Minnesota Auxillary Sheriff's Department.

I thought that surely that Preston's "Truth Be Told!" refrain, lifted straight out of the 40 year old Virgin, would be the hint that gave it up.





Nobody tell Poo Convention; he'll track me down and rape me with a mop and taser.
 

You. Bastard.

I fucking love you.

But not in that way.
 

I don't know which disturbs me more.

The fact that you convincingly posed as a LiLo fanboy, or

The fact that you knew where to get Lohan's lyrics...

That's fucking scary, man.
 

It puts the Lohan on its skin
or it gets the douche again
 

DS, is this your way of keeping the rest of us on our toes for the days that we're inundated with actual trolls?

Well done, good sir...I can't believe that everyone missed the fact that you didn't post once (okay, there was one post, but not towards Preston) in that whole diatribe.