Donkey Douche the shirt alone speaks volumes.
 

Photo # 1 (Douche Familia) Nothing like dragging your little brother down the halls to douche class 101. 2nd quarter - "Was I born a girl?" Instructor, Richard Simmons.
 

Although I didn't vote for Joey in the prelims, he's got my vote from the three finaldouches.
 

God forgive me for what I'm about to do.

Tell the rest of mankind I'm sorry.

Joey P. for the win.
 

Photo # 2 - I was an ugly kid but now that I spike my hair and work out, Girls will take pictures with me and i still get to pretend that I'm cool. Just look at my lip. Cool huh?
 

Photo # 3
Hey guys, "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Seriously, the federline look is hot. Right?
 

as strong as fish slap and DD are, there is only one Joey P, The zen master douche bag. In any other year, Fish Slap and DD would be the kings unbeatable, but the strength of Joey P cannot be denied, he must be crowned Douche Bag of the year, and maybe, Douche Bag of the decade.
 

Regardless of the plurality or singularity of the Joey P. experience, I nominate the Joey Putz experiment as DOTY.

And f$%& Fish Slap.
 

while fish slaps hott's are the hottest joey p. is the douchiest, thus i vote for the uberscrote that is joey p.
 

I understand why this has to be called a 'contest', or else it wouldn't be fair to the wide array of scrote found on this site on a pretty regular basis who are in the 'running'.

HOWEVER.

The winner is clear. Joey Porche.

When I first was introduced to the man behind the Experience, I was caught off guard--is this for real? I proceded to check out his myspace page, daily, show it to all my friends (and co-workers, and family, and others who don't care/understand the mindset of a 'baghunter). Understand, I was once on my way to becoming a card-carrying member of the 'bag club, but I have seen the light!

He is on another level. Let me put it this way--how many other bags were instrumental in developing spin-offs to be mimiced by hunters everywhere?

'Bags are 'bags. Joey was (and is) an Experience.
 

Donkey's contributions always looked contrived and poorly thought out, he's done in my book. Although for this particular selection Angelina hott is eye fucking the hell out of the tented section of my Dockers.

Joey V. Slap

Asking me to choose one is a kin to asking me whether I'd like to have my rectum filled with concrete or having all of my orifices super glued shut save one nostril.

My disdain for slap is so great that I think it would be the ultimate insult to deny him the title....so Joey P. for every douche thing you've ever done and for every douche thing you might do congrats.

Joey P. for the spiteful win!
 

I apologize but i can't pick one over the other. These guys are all gay as hell. They obviously had no real male role models in their lives and thought, that the best way to be with the girls is by being able to discuss hair do's, make-up, tanning secrets, ohh and my favorite, EYEBROW Plucking. They are equally douched but I doubt that they're manly enough to be insulted.
 

While I can't vote twice, let me just add:

Fuck Fish Slap.


That is all.
 

Joey Porsche by a lip over Fish Slap.
 

Joey Porsche is a champion douche
 

Uh yeah,

Fuck donkey douche and fish slap

Just looks at these fucks...
 

Hey yo, Joey! Joey! JOOOOOOOEEEEEEYYYYYY!

Look at what you fuckin' won, bro!

Let's celebrate. Go get your best AX gear and we're goin to Acapulco!!!!!
 

I cast my vote reluctantly for Joey P....because those pink, cock-sucking lips enrage me like nothing on this site ever has.

At least Fish-slap works out and, as stupid as he is, resembles a man.

Joey P. and his pals with their narrow shoulders and cloned coifs look like overly femenized versions of the cabana boys who schlep drinks to me at Cancun resorts.

Joey Porche for DBotY....by a smooch.
 

Donkey Douche, we thank you for playing - here is an egg timer (your third place prize).

Joey P vs. Fish Slap? For both of these tools I must ignore the hotts because they are everchanging and interchangeable; as you recall Joey P told us himself that he gets more pussy than a toilet seat.

Hell, for that comment alone Joey P gets the win. What a douchebag thing to say. Your first place prize: you get to slurp my doodi p.

Fish Slap: here's your runner up prize: FUCK YOU. I hope FlyTeeth gets out on parole and cornholes you ragged until you can only shit Dinty Moore Beef Stew(tm).
 

Sorry I meant...feminized.
 

It's "Acapulo".

Joey Porsche. The douche is indeed strong with the Donk (shudder) and the 'Slap (violent shudder), but Joey's (now hidden) Myspace page just takes the cake. Never before has such an affront to mankind been unleashed, even in Great Neck, NY.

If we could just stick the three of them in a cage match and have them fight-to-the-death it out, I'd feel much better about this. I don't think any of them are being made to suffer enough.
 

donkey, because i can't vote for 'bag islander anymore
 

i have said FUCK FISH SLAP more times than i have told my own mom i love her. i dont like him and i would figure out some way to pick a fight if i saw him IN DA CLUB, without a doubt. i would even crack his bitch if she got in my way.

HOWEVER! Joey P is such a fucking dildo he gets my vote. at the end of the day, he is the ultimate douchebag. he is the true essence of this site.

"FISH SLAP! GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BOW TO YOUR GOD: JOEY P!!!!!!!!!!!"

fuckin fags.
 

I don't know what to do. I've run out of doucheperlatives to describe these three.

In this competition, there is really no loser.

Fuck Fish Slap.
 

Holy shit. I am summoning every bit of my strength to not want to get up, walk out the door, and step in front of the M5 bus after looking at these taint swabbers.

It is too early in the morning and there isn't enough Night Train and crack in the world to get over this much large, warm river of yak splooge in one area.

But, it has to be done. Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good.

The Donk. Well, he honestly looks pretty harmless if you can spell and as long as he gets a turkey leg every couple of hours.

The Slap. Man, the douche is strong with that one. However, he borders on or is a homobag and I think many of the women are fag hags. I mean, come one, the guy is a hair stylist and enjoys dressing up as and watching movies about gladiators.

Joe...vomits...y...shits...P...spikes the closest baby. He is EVERYTHING we hate and everything that is wrong with a society. He is so bad, it makes me think we should help Iran with their nuclear program just in the hopes that the bomb is big enough to level Great Neck (which is NOT in New York City, although he's tryin) so his gene pool is cleansed.

The visceral hatred of this butt nugget is strong and his family is proven to carry the same traits, which increases it exponentially.

His self love is so great, if only it could be spread elsewhere, it would end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, cure cancer, and propel the Dolphins to the Superbowl.

So, in final. Fuck you, Joey P. You are...the Biggest Douche.
 

I've got to go with Fish Slap. I understand the pull of the Joey P Experience, but come on people, the chicks in his pictures are always nasty skanks! There are no HCs with that DB! Fish Slap's omnipresent tanned goddess helps him pull in my vote.
 

As much as I HATE fish slap. I absolutely despise Joey Porsche. I and his tan kissy face douchebros are the epitome of Douche!
 

While I've always been somehow drawn to Fish Slap and obscenely curious as to why so many hate him (while simulataneously feeling this hate in an interestingly passive innocuous way), I have to suggest Joey Porsche for the win.

I'd also like to suggest in the sake of fairness in the future, after Joey P's inevitable crowning, he be banned from all future contests under the auspice that he's the PROTO-DOUCHE. The High Emperor/ Modern European Royalty to your democractically elected Prime Minister. This will guarantee his legacy status but keep future contests interesting.

MG
 

Fish Slap. So douchey it makes me consider turning to the douche side.
 

1st runner up: "Fuck" Fish Slap. And the winner is.... (drum roll) Joey Porsche.

You sir represent all that is wrong with the younger generation: the hair, the doctored brows, the liberal use of self-tanner. Joey, you are the epitome of douche.

Fish, you are douche also, but ran out of time. We welcome you to re-apply for the award next year. And for some reason, I know you will.

-Orel Douchehiser,
Headmaster, The Academy o' Baggery
 

After reading the picture book, "Are you there God? Its me Douchebag.", Joey and his brothers began their everest-like journey to the top of douchebag mountain i.e. winning the Douchie. Well in my eyes, they made it. They are the supreme douchebags of the entire planet.


Joey P and his Labia Majora oral cavity completely infuriate me.


Yeah, those douchebags get my vote.
 

Fish slap is eliminated for me because of gaybag disqualification. Still a nice run, Fuck You Fishslap.

Now between Donkey and the Joey P experience. I hate, absolutely hate Joey P. However Donkey D is one of the monstrocities that got me into this site. I was already somewhat of a vet when Joey P reared his perfectly coiffed mane. His comedy is classic. Due to his myspace page we see how far along the greico virus has spread within this young bagling. However his main problem is the hot chicks. While i normally give the hots about 33% of the credit compared to the douche, none of hiss chicks do anything for me.

This is where the donk comes in. This little slanty blue eyed minx does things for me that none of Joey P's ladies do. Donkey is just a real idiot, from the shirts to the brow ridge, to the vacantn stare. he brought me in to this site and through the power of his hot I vote

Donkey Douche for the year.
 

Yikes. This was tough. Big fan of Donks, but he's up against two HOSers. Slap I fucking hate you and thus you shall not win. JP, I hope you are one day sotomized with that grey goose bottle you love so much.

Z Winna - Joey Porsche
 

I have to go with Joey P. The writing on his myspace was too much. I think I might be scarred for life. I've never seen anything like him, and I hope to never see anything like him ever again.

Joey P for the win!! The Acapulo photo did it for me...

The Donk has a special place in my heart. And by heart, I mean last night I imagined that the leopard-print photo was printed on the toilet paper I was using.

At this point, I can't really add anything new regarding Fish Slap. Great DB name, horrible DB everything else. Total asswank.

If for some reason Joey P can't fulfill his duties as HCwDB of the Year, hopefully Fish Slap will be available to step in.
 

Ed-It sounds like you are voting for JP becuase you like him. I mean like like him. By the way his cronies are Italian, but way to bring up race again.
 

This is a tough one... Quite.

Donkey has the hottest Hott here, but he still looks like Lex Luger's gay little brother. Maybe Donkey won't do to his Hott what Lex did to his, but I fear the same fate could be in store for this Eastern Euro Hott.

Everyone has such animosity for Fish Slap. But when I look at him, I see a balding homo with no chin. Next. Quite.

So, while Joey Porsche doesn't have any real Hotts around him, he still reeks of uber-doucheness. And since this photo for Joey P looks like three gay cabana boys and some tranny hooker, who can't vote for this. Not to mention, she is doing the kissy lips too. THAT'S the power of Joey P's douchosity; it's like a black hole, sucking all that is normal and not doucheness out of his surroundings.

So, it's Joey P for the win.


Quite.
 

PS - DB1: when you have a minute (I know you are very busy running the Douchies) - it would be helpful if all of Fish Slap's links were added to the HOS... the "2", "3", etc links are great...
 

This is actually easier than I thought it would be.

First the Donk: The chin-thrust of his doucheface is a clear attempt to distract us from his carefully penciled eyebrows. His shirt is so scrotey it was likely made from 101 leopards' nutsacks. It's clear he takes himself more seriously than he takes Svetlana here. That's if he can get it up to take her at all. Despite this, he is the least of the three.

Fuck Fish Slap. He has that egomaniacal, Spartan, "your boyfriend wants me" vibe. Check out his myspace. He idolizes Beckham. I can't hold THAT against him. I love Becks, too. It's his likely motivation that distubs me: Not because he plays soccer. Not because Becks is an actual Gentleman on the pitch. No, it's because he fucked Posh. Has to be. Oh, yeah, and Fish Slap, putting your kid's pic on your front page where any perv can stalk him is no way to make up for your lack of child support payments or neglectful visitation. HOWEVER! Get your bench press spotter's dick out of your mouth because you're not the winner. Just the weiner.

HCwDB OTY has to go to Joey Porsche, et al (the Orange Man Group). Good Lord! Where to begin?

The first time I saw this particular pic, I actually thought that the choad had photoshopped himself In Triplicate next to Buttaface. I came to find out that not only does he lack the imagination, and integrity to dress for himself, but that he's the tiny shmoe on the left. Runt of the litter it seems, I guess we all know where that puts him in the man-love.

Furthermore we've seen this particular Orange Guido look elsewhwere: The Prompas and Johnny Blaze. The commomality is that they all live "In New York City." You know, Conneticut, Jersey and Long Island. That's like me saying I was "In Cindy Crawford" because I passed her on the street once. Or like these choads saying that they were "In Any Girl Ever At All," as opposed to each other. It's pathetic.

I came up with some lyrics for you, ya Diiiiiigggggg:

Mikey B came from out on the Island
Through the back-door he was everybody's darlin'
But he never lost his head,
Even whenhe was givin' head he says,
"Hey, Boyyyeee, Take a run with the goose now."

Joey P never once got free play,
Every time he had to pay and pay.
Got hustled here, got hustled there.
Great Neck, Long Island is the place where they say,
"Hey, Boyyyeee, Take a run with the goose now."
And the Orange Men go:
Doche douche d'douche d'douche douche d'douche.

Congrats, you smeg.
 

Joey P. Hands down.
 

JOEY P!!!! He's from Queens..that means extra bonus douch points!
 

Clementine... Thanks.

For the rest of the day I'll picture those fat pink lips going

oche douche d'douche d'douche douche d'douche

in harmony, with a sax backup.

Dammit.

And while I can still say it with meaning:

Fuck Fish Slap.
 

I'm confused about the whole joey porsche thing. is he always hanging with his three choad posse or has he somehow pasted in images of himself in other shiny discount department store clothing? Also, is he a prompa, or do they just hang at the same function hall disc jockey parties?

The Donk is a classic, but i kinda think that his face may just be like that. i also suspect that he's like 5'5", which makes him more like a mini-donkey, which is kinda cute and harmless.

Though I derive far more amusement from the Joey Porsche Experience and look forward to their next project, the Slap's 'oeuvre' - as DB1 aptly calls it - is much more consistent and mature. What it lacks in originality, it makes up for in stupidity. And by stupidity, I mean nose bling.

I've also been swayed by whoever keeps writing 'fuck fish slap'.

I'm giving it to the Slap.

Fuck Fish Slap.
 

Its got to be JP. he infuriates me.
 

Can you imagine the ramifications if Gator were in this competition? That would be like Zeus fighting Poseidon in the underwater terrordome.

I'm thinking of making this into a movie called clash of the Douche-Titans. Here are the roles:

Gator: Zeus. Played by Sean Connery
Joey P: Apollo. Played by David Faustino
Fish Slap: Poseidon. Played by Jared Leto
Donkey Douche: Hercules. Played by Lou Ferrigno

At the end of the movie they all die horrific deaths and we realize that religion is nothing more than organized xenophobia. It'll be the feel-good movie of the year, I'm thinking about releasing it in time for next years holiday season.
 

Joey P. in a landslide.
 

This question is harder than any question on the SAT's. Which of these three is the biggest douche?

Donkey douche's chick is clearly the hottest, but there are 3 J.P.'s. Fishslap has two hot chicks and a v-neck tee shirt. JP's chick is not the hottest, almost suspect.

BTW, did anyone notice the clown in the background of fishslap with his tongue out, as if he is concentrating real hard on dancing.

Here it is: JP is the biggest douche alone, however, putting chicks into the equation, the nod should go to Donkey because his chick is absolutely stunning. I am so undecided........

Finally, my vote goes to Fishslap.

I want it to be known that putting chicks aside, and by aside, I mean tied up under my bed, JP is clearly the biggest douchebag. DB1, you should have two douchie awards, one for biggest douchebag alone and another for group picture.
 

@ Il Choadarino,

I've had that in my head since November! Been waiting for the Douchies to FINALLY post it.
 

Not much to add here, really. The Donk was the first real doucherstar of '07, but his stock has dropped over the past few months because of a lack of production. Conversely, Fish Slap's stock has skyrocketed due to a few late entries in the second half of the year, peaking with his Spartan Halloween display of choadery and the implementation of the appealing catchphrase, "Fuck Fish Slap."

However, the one constant in '077 has always been Joey Porsche. Time and time again, JP delivers the goods and alternatively brings a smile to our faces and bile to our throats. As one 'bag hunter has so eloquently stated before me, JP is not a douche, he is an Experience. Therefore, he must get my vote in the Douchies, if only for the reason that I managed to become friends with him on myspace and I can't wait to inform him that he has just won Douchebag of the Year. Seriously, who doesn't want him to post here with his acceptance speech?
 

With all reluctance, JP.
 

This may be the hardest bracket of them all. Each of them are worthy as hell of the honor, but I am going with Fish Slap to win it all.

I think that Slap was constantly surrounded by Hotts, gave more looks than I really want to remember, and he has the following. As i said, all of them are deserving, but I have yet to visit here daily and read a "Fuck Donkey Douche......"

Joey Porsche had a mass following, but we got nothing new from him in a long time. He had Jennifer Hudson and Tocara like popularity (Exactly............) but people like Slap carried us from the day he was first posted. Just see the 300 pic and then decide. Consistency rules over JP points and goose.
 

Fuck you, FishSlap, I hate you with the hate of a thousand suns.

But, I can't vote for you. While you have your little manfans, especially in that ludicrous "300" ripoff, your manfans are not so enamoured of you as to replicate your every trait (traint!).

Jenny's cuter than the dried out thing with Joey Porsche, that's for sure. But. Joey Porsche and his manfans... emulate each other... and coordinate together. This isn't an accident. Two of them have coordinated their Hilfager shirts. They all have the same stupid hairstyle. And ORANGE.

ORANGE.

I hate FishSlap, I really do. I think I'd vote for him any other time. But, goddamn, Joey P. and his manfans have popped collars and ORANGE.

I have to vote for the JPE. They think their 'baghavior is so divine that they must preserve it with perfect copies of each other.

Die JPE. Die. You are the douchiest of the year.
 

Donkey Douche isn't smart enough to take this contest. To me he just looks like a big clueless guido. Almost likeable, amiable.

And Fish Slap, oh Fish Slap. the hat tilt, the bling, the very hot women. You could come close to the win except for the fact that you are obviously a bender, which in my eyes disqualifies you.

And that brings us to Joey Fuckin Carerra. Ding Ding Ding. Our big winner. DB1 said it best when he described him as the Source Douche. The orange, the hair, the lips. God the lips, they make me want to rip his head off and smack Fish Slap across the face with it.

JP for the Win.
 

It's gotta be Fish Slap. While both joey p and fish slap are arrogant douches, b/c of joey p's younger age we can say that deep down he is a sad, pathetic insecure teenager. Not so with Fish Slap. He is a douche and he knows it--he exudes confidences in his doucheneity. I mean, you want to slap the guy in the face with a dead fish for pete;s sake.
 

Joey Porsche
 

As was noted earlier, anyone who saw the JP myspace page and its litany of pics extolling his douchiness must, I repeat MUST vote for him. Donkey makes me laugh... and cry as my mind is warped as how the Hott is attracted to him. Fish just makes my stomach hurt as he is a choad I would just see at a bar with Hott is tow and cringe.
JP is a HOF'er for a reason. Flip thru the pics and look at the many seasons of Porche. Orance, bling, Hott, choad, posse, and the clincher for me: his vernacular. Impecable.
 

where the FUCK is GATOR!!!!!!!!!?!???
 

Oof... not easy. I can eliminate Donkey Douche; for whatever reason he never bothered me that much. JP or FS, though... God... if only they could eliminate each other...

I know I supported Bag Islander over Joey in the semis, but that was because of Joey's tranny in that pic. The girl in the final pic, despite being bleethed out, is at least a hott... and I've known Joey Porsche, I feel. I know, I know, I said I've known bags like Fish Slap...

But I worked at Radio Shack with guys like Joey Porsche. Radio Shack. The worse seven months of my life. Every now and again one of the Mannybags (the Portuguese equivalent of Guidobags?) would try to take me under his wing and teach me the finer points of douchebaggery, but happily/sadly I'm way too decent/way too much of a nerd to go that rout.

But the point is, while the site is obviously built on douchebags and the hotts that love them, for me, the real kicker in any picture is that familiar sting of seeing the kind of (bad) people you know paired with the kind of hotts you've lusted after since Junior High.

Thus, I cast my vote for Joey Porsche for Douche of the Year, and long may he reign!
 

Damn, I forgot all about ACAPULO....
I still stand by my decision.
 

You know who is gonna take this runoff. Joey P, Yaaaaa Diiiiig! The consistency of the JPE throughout the year was difficult to keep up but he somehow managed. Just imagine the sheer volume of hair gel and electricity on tanning machines used this year to perfect this douchiness. The smooch lips disgust me. The blowout haircuts are hideous, and so so so orange.

Joey P. Douche of the Year


PS Fuck Fish Slap
 

As a measure of how far and away Fish Slap and Joey Porsche are as douches, notice how spanked Donkey Douche is in this bracket. He's a super-douche, but he's got no game here.

As they say, Fuck Fish Slap. I hate him.

I still remember my first Joey Porsche Experience...the mySpace page...oh, my eyes. I couldn't comment for several days; there was nothing appropriate to say. There still are no words to describe this travesty. But this phrase comes close: "HCwDB of the Year."

My vote for Joey fUcKen CaRreRa.
 

I need to see more pictures of Joey. Where? Where can I?
 

I try to never neglect the HC of HCwDB. Fish Slap's stunning Slavic sundae does it for me. Porsche and Slap are so complete in the doucheness that I'm letting the lady carry the day. Huge capped, super white teeth and BOOBIES. Fish Slap!!

BDub
 

C'mon people.

Joey is the douche. DD has the hott. But we're talking ying and yang here.

And so the best HCwDB pic should obviously be Fish Slap.
 

Difficult this is...I wouldn't consider the tuna in JP or Fish hot chicks so that's where I'm struggling however they are the douchiest...

I gotta go with JP for the win
 

Joey P
You win for ruining what is left of my beloved home of Long Island. Not that there was much left to ruin, but still. I hope one of your "goumas" puts nair in the bottle of olive oil you use to spike your hair and it falls out so that you look like a future illegal alien from south park. Die you worthless twat.
 

Out of these 3 turds, donkey douche is the douche of the year
 

Yeah, Its gotta be Joey. Fishslap is contemptible, but he is a bender. Joey was the first bag I saw on this site and I've visited every goddamn day since. Thats star power folks.
 

Fish Slap's douche stain has haunted my dreams for the past few months
 

Wow JP is running away with this thing. i can't believe how many people voted for the bag islander over him in the last round.
 

donkey in a break away. He refuses to wear sleeves, and his chick is so hot.

vote: donkey
 

Hey Anon @ 7:55,

Believe me...these guys are certainly not Italian. More like Portugese.

I think they'd maybe like to be Italian.
 

This is the toughest decision I've made in atleast 3 days. I don't feel I can give an in depth explanation of my choice so I am just going to go with what feels right. Joey Porche, ya diggg?


I just really hate guidos.
 

J-O-E-Y - JOEY JOEY JOEY!!!!!!!
 

Off topic, but in honor of pfah and because it's limerick Wednesday....

Pfah's on a trip, holy-moly!
Jet-setters just like Pitt and Joli
Round his neck a medallion
He's douchey Italian
Leave the gun, take the cannoli
 

Fish slap. Winner, douches down.
 

Honestly, I didn't really get Fish Slap until now. I saw that picture this morning and something inside of me broke.

Still, Joey Fuckin' Porsche! Fuckin' Joey! Experience goose carrera puckeranuslips!

I believe the ancient Chinese Zodiac has now been altered so that every twelve years we will suffer through a Year of Puckeranuslips, and it's all because of Joey. Nice work, you piece of shit.
 

While (Fuck) Fish Slap and the Donk truly embody all that is correct about premeditated murder, the crown must go to Joey P. He inspires both shock and intrigue. I would love to hang out with him for a night and then push him into traffic as soon as I was ready to go home. As a dedicated representative of the guido douchebag movement, he gets my vote.

Honorable mention should also go to White Chocolate, whose myspace page is wonderful in so many ways. He also had the gumption to list his address on this site which made for even more hilarity. http://www.myspace.com/pjtevis
 

Just a quick suggestion to help save everyone some time.

Just as Muslims attach the abbreviation PBUH (peace be upon him) to Muhammed when referring to him in print, I suggest we do the same with Fish Slap.

Fish Slap, FH (Fish Slap, Fuck Him)
 

no question, hands down, joey fucking porsche...

i mean, just look at that photo!!! COULD ANYONE ELSE POSSIBLY WIN?

-Leo
 

I think Donkey isn't getting the credit he deserves. I think we are forgetting the whole picture here that it is the "Hot Chicks with Douchebags of the Year" contest. Joey P's hotts aren't usually that hot. For this reason I have to go with Donkey Douche. He has the hottest hotts and he makes me want to vomit.

DD for HCWDBOTY!!!
 

fish fuck slap, it's all about joey p
 

May the multiplicity of Joey Porche Prevail.

I dont even know which is the real JP and which are just hangers on for effect. Kind of like baguettes on a engagement ring - they accentuate the main douche.

A modern day choad Svengali he inspires his bleethed out blond to display kissy lips by no effort other than displaying them himself.

Donky Douche is lame and generic although his hott is just that, hot.

Im tired of fishslap - this is any dude who bartends anywhere in LA, Vegas, NYC - the nightlife is riddled with these guys.

JP doesnt deserve to get past the velvet rope, ever. But he wills himself in.

JP for Douche Bag of the Year.
 

As commish of the more taste lea, I mean Major League Baseball I am here to present the award for HCwDBotY to former major leaguer, current steroid abuser and member of the HOD......DD better known to you as Jose Doucheseco
 

Dammit!!! The leopard shirt + smoking hott should be enough to win. Until they meet the steely twat gaze of Fish Slap and his unconsciously sublime kissy lips.
But Like Bob Dylan and the Band said
"I'm going to Acapulo" with this one. For the litany of cloned kissy lips, goose bottles, japanimation hairstyles, and expensive ORANGE tans... Joey Fucking Carrera is the winner.
 

joey fuckin porsche. it was his destiny. it is what he was born to do.
 

Trying to decide which one of these three douches is the douchiest is like trying to decide which ball you don't need. Pretty much impossible.

That said, like many others before me, it has to be:
The Porsche.
 

It's gotta be Joey Porsche, though I have to say that Trainwreck was my favorite.
 

Donk is a gorilla with an ice-eyed siren.

Slap pattern-shaves his head, and dresses like a gladiator, and somehow still hangs with Brie Anna and HBT and the other Chii go-go babies. It's a mystery, but it could be some strange Midwest mating ritual dating back to the time of the buffalo.

Joey P., however, demonstrates almost every behavior I despise. Willful ignorance as a way of life coupled with an inability to comprehend his own arrogant homoerotic, materialistic vacuousness, topped with a heaping swirl of entitlement because his parents believed Dr. Spock. He not only doesn't get it, he doesn't want to.

The bonus is that, because of his penchant for makeup, plucking and coiffing, Joey P. is the only candidate who might even qualify for HCwDBotY by himself.

There is no other choice possible.
 

JP is just a punk kid who has been coddled & led to believe he is "da shit", when mostly he begs to be slapped around with a towel soaked in vinegar. the Donk is just your garden variety muscle bound lunk with tats & hair that defies gravity. but the "Slap" he is the Cary Grant of douches, the Platonic ideal. he carries off his schtick with an effort less glide the turns the stomach of all baghunters with just a whiff of his Halston aroma... & his hott is impecible, not some mindless bleethed out tramp looking to partay! in any douchey derby Fish Slap is the class of the field. Fuck him!
 

Paperorplasticbag, I like your suggestion.

Fish Slap, FH

But since it's almost second nature to just type

Fuck Fish Slap

in one smooth keystroke move, it'll be a challenge.

Fuck Fish Slap
Fuck Fish Slap
Fuck Fish Slap
Fuck Fish Slap
Fuck Fish Slap

See how easy that is?
 

While I love Fred Flintstone (aka Donkey), how can you not vote for Joey VW Bug? He is the epitomy of an ass clown.

I have said it before and I will say it again. F NJ and F Guidos.

Joey Porsche and Friends, you are the the true douche bags of 2007.
 

That piece of guido shit 'Joey P' for the win.

and fuck Fish Slap
 

Joey is the only one who really does it for me. Joey P for HCwDB of the Year.
 

donkey douche
 

This is a true epic battle for HCwDB of the year. All three are worthy contenders.

Donkey Douche is definitely a huge douche, and his hott definitely gives him some leverage as well. However, Donkey Douche is a remnant of the long lost time when wooly baggoths were hunted by neanderscrotes; while he still remains a huge scrote, since his time other douchebags have evolved beyond his level.

Fish Slap and Joey Porsche are both modern era bags. If I was to vote based on the power of hott alone it would definitely be Fish Slap; I really dig his dark skinned hottie. Also, in most cases the shaved eyebrow alone would be enough. However, if Slap and Joey Porsche were in a room together and I could only kick one of them, it would have to be Joey Porsche. Joey for HCwDB of the year and kick to the head.

Jurassic Douche
 

Shit you just hate to ive these bag attention, but alas, JP is just to greasy and has slipped way on past the others
disgusting,
vote is in for JP
 

My brain wants me to vote for Joey P, but my heart says Fish Slap.

I have to go with Fish Slap.

Watch out for Minnow Slap in '08, I think it might be his time to shine and by shine I mean poo.
 

the Donkey FTW
 

Fish Slap
 

Fuck me running.

DD is a worthy contender, his cro-mag muscle grease, and obvious Fred Flinstone shirt (I hope no one else already said that, I'm too late to read all of these) defies anyone to serve him a large slab of ribs in his foot car. But not enough to celebrate his baggery for the year.

Fish Fuck Slap makes you want to burn down the offices of GQ and Mens Fitness. He makes you want to full on boner rage his hots. He makes us collectively scream. And that is why he can't win, he's not funny, just infuriating.

Therefore JP walks away, down the Jersey shore with his trail of flame headed orange skinned buddies (I mean really, there's like 300 people in this guys neighborhood who all look the same), and a couple of supreme hots, blissfully celebrating his Douchie for DB of the YEAR!!


JP is the point of HCwDB; funny, orange, posing, dumb, guido, asslicks, who are buried up to their hair in hotts, amble boobs, and robust booties. Fuck him, and by that I mean give him a round of applause.
 

I don't have the long history here that some do, so I missed the glory days when Joey P's myspace page was still public. More's the pity, too.

So, I'll base my vote strictly on the pix before me here and those in the semifinals.

And the triple whammy combo of Fish Slap's headband, double diamond ear studs, and expert George Michael pseudobeard broke the tie for me.

Fish Slap for the win, and starboard hott for me.
 

Joey P's maniacal, rapid-fire commenting shows he takes himself waaaay too seriously.

I can't get over that comments thread and the myspace page.

Joey P it is. Honestly, I'm only voting for him to hear his acceptance speech. Should be a doozy for the Douchie.
 

While Peaches is the obvious alpha douche of 2007, I'll throw a vote in for the Donk and his ridiculous shirt.
 

I gotta go for Joey P. His douchiness is just too complete and well-rounded. He his the liberal arts college of douchedom, while Donkster and Slap are merely Rutgers and UCLA.
 

Joey...Porsche....

all the way
for transcending them both
Fish Slap...absurd...hes a hollywood douche. he goes out...takes pics with hot chics....masturbates at home to asian twink porn.

Donkey Douche.. Please...Gay Frat Boys just dont take it up a notch...

Joey Porsche...
I mean c'mon
utterdoucheness
 

It's between Joey P and DD, but I have to go with Joey P just for the fact that DD was born with that stupid face and Joey P has gone out of his way to make his. And more importantly everytime I see Joey P I want to jump in the picture and beat the crap out of him.
 

Fuck Fish Slap

I vote Joey P for douche of the year.
 

The slap.
 

it has to be Joey P. FTW. I can't say too much, this took three hour to type after I ripped my nutsack off and pummeled myself about the face, then gouged my eyes out and stuffed my testcles in there so that if I were going to be confronted with any kind of baggism, its my own. Hotts don't matter when it comes to the über-douche known as Joey muthafuckin Carrera....
 

well, if we go on the entire douche personality, JP wins. that myspace page was too much.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Looks like an overwhelming favor for Joey P., and I have to join the tide. JP elevates himself beyond douche by being able to simultaneously attract the hott with his ridiculously applied hair, tan and clothes while mocking the rest of the "normal" world with pouty lips and a vacant, "better than thou" stare.

But what really elevates him is his apparent ability to clone himself. There's not one Joey P. in this picture - there are three. And believe you me, there are many more Joey P.'s out there, combing toilet seats around the world (re: Jersey) for a collection of pussy so large it's uncomprehensible even to mankind's boldest and most accomplished visionaries.

Famed architect and urban planner Daniel Burnham once said "Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men's blood and probably will not themselves be realized." Joey P. lives by this mantra, though revised for our time: "Become no average douche. They have no grease to stir men's blood and probably will not themselves be mocked."

Mock Joey P. For he is no average douche.
 

What a moment to pick my first comment/vote for;

Joey Porsche Carrera 911

his hair should be researched at NASA
 

As approach the end of the 2007 Douche Season, looking back on all of the sleaze inflicted upon innocent hott and other susceptible proto-bags brings a tear to my eye for the yeoman like work put in by our three finalists and, of course, the pro himself, the bodhisattva of 'bag, Gator. When one considers the consolidated years of work put in by the DBoTY contenders in front of the mirror, in the tanning bed and wandering the malls, it is astounding they found any time to spread their douchiness at all. But, to their eternal discredit, spread the Greico virus they did and we, fellow 'bag hunters, are the lucky beneficiaries of some truly brave photographers who risk grease stains, orange smears and Greico infections to record this collective travesty to warn future generations against cheap jewelry, face grease, over-inflated self-importance and Orange.

As for the contenders and their qualifications:

The Donk, while always surrounding himself with impressive hott, is basically a garden variety Neanderthal with decent bank account and correspondingly horrible taste. Lacking a fully formed hyloid bone, he in only able to communicate in monosyllabic strings of semi-related words, asking for more goose, extra minutes in the tanning bed and if a hott will pose for a picture. He's basically harmless, for his douchiousity, while strong, is primitive and apparently non-communicable to us higher lifeforms. Plus, he doesn't inspire me to slaughter pure, white, innocent baby Harp seals the way our other two contenders do.

The Chi town Choade Fishslap, is truly unique among this year's contenders. As noted above, his continuous display of revolving hott along with his standard "companion" make him a strong contender for 'Bag of the Year. The hott parade coupled with his overly evident self-absorption as evidenced by the waxing manscaping, plucked and shaved brows, shiny bling, 10W40 face grease and the retro-80s carved hair crop circles bring him to the pinnacle of douchiness. His singular fatal flaw is his overly evident penchant for the "alternative lifestyle" as demonstrated by his profession and as horrifically documented in his Halloween 300 visual manifesto. As the old saying goes, where there is love for homo-erotic film there is homo-erotic love. Therefore, FFS is DQ'd because he's a gaybag albeit somewhat closeted and over-compensating in the photographic record.

Which leaves with the epitome of what I believe is the true essence of douchiousity. He has a singular douche move, the hemorrhoidal kissy lips, which has spread like cholera after a third world typhoon. His diction, while as unique as the newest super-hero, Flyteeth, is simply ridiculous in both its preening poseur outlandishness and its complete lack of grammatical structure and syntax. It reminds one of "city speak" from the sci-fi classic Blade Runner, but mixed with teenage text talk and south shore slang. In other words, only he and his krew can comprehend it. His appearance is truly transcendent in its completely subscription to all that is douche, the cactus/mushroom head combo is truly trend setting as evidenced by its Ebola like spread among his fanboys. His cheap, outlet mall fashions evidence his slavish devotion to douche cultural harbingers such as Growing Up Gotti, The OC, The Hills, GQ and Muscle and Fitness. The discount store bling delivers that final douchey accessorizing touch to his weekly clown costume. But it is the orange that truly defines Joey Porsche/Carrera. Another trend setting advance in the ways of the douche, Joey has provided an inspiration not only to his boyz but also to legions of Prompas everywhere. Which brings me to my final, long-winded point, Joey is the DBoTY because unlike Donk and Fishslap, Joey's douche is highly contagious. His fanboyz have it, his uber-bleethed mannish semi-hotts have it and anyone in a twenty mile radius of Great Neck probably has it. He is the Patient Zero in this most virulent form of scrote and has spared no expense in spreading it to the masses. That is the real reason he is the Joey Porsche Experience, because once one experiences JP, they, too, are irredeemably douched.

Congrats Joey, for making Long Island and the outer boroughs just a little bit sleazier. A truly stellar accomplishment when properly contextualized.

We look forward to your acceptance speech. Please forward it to Flyteeth for 'bag to human translation. It's easier to infer meaning from his intergalactic syntactically challenged ramblings than bag-speak.
 

I must admit, I'm a little surprised that the Crustacean and Trainwreck are not among the finalists. But, what can you do, right. So I must say that Fish Slap has the upper hand among the finalists.
 

Joey Porche. No contest. Look at his pink kissy lips!!! Also, the numerous pictures we have of him always have those damned kissy lips.
 

@9:12 anon...
I just visited White Chocolate's myspace for the first time. Undeniably he Rolls with Pretty Bitches. He is also from my neck of the woods. All the more justification for my ongoing project of building Ruby Ridge East.

As for HCwDBotY:
On the surface the HC/DB ratio for
Fish Slap's entries near unity, but I fear his homo tendencies steer the denominator towards zero, rendering the equation undefinable. Still, Fuck Fish Slap.

Donkey obviously hasn't enough synaptic connections to know better; relying instead on his ubiquitous evil anti-Ann-Darrow-hott to formulate his King Kong persona. He is a victim of atavistic gene expression: the intention isn't there.

On the other hand, the Joey Porche experience is intentional. He epitomizes douche, and likes it. He has Bleethed every hott in every photo. He swigs Goose and puts his hand on the craps table during your 45 minute roll. He glides up behind your girl on the dance floor and infuses her pores with Axe, thus rendering her useless for the rest of the night. He changes lanes in his '99 Celica with racing stripes and coffe can exhaust without signalling, with a flippant "Yaaa digggg?"

JP gets my vote, and by vote I mean everlasting ire.
 

@9:12 anon...
I just visited White Chocolate's myspace for the first time. Undeniably he Rolls with Pretty Bitches. He is also from my neck of the woods. All the more justification for my ongoing project of building Ruby Ridge East.

As for HCwDBotY:
On the surface the HC/DB ratio for
Fish Slap's entries near unity, but I fear his homo tendencies steer the denominator towards zero, rendering the equation undefinable. Still, Fuck Fish Slap.

Donkey obviously hasn't enough synaptic connections to know better; relying instead on his ubiquitous evil anti-Ann-Darrow-hott to formulate his King Kong persona. He is a victim of atavistic gene expression: the intention isn't there.

On the other hand, the Joey Porche experience is intentional. He epitomizes douche, and likes it. He has Bleethed every hott in every photo. He swigs Goose and puts his hand on the craps table during your 45 minute roll. He glides up behind your girl on the dance floor and infuses her pores with Axe, thus rendering her useless for the rest of the night. He changes lanes in his '99 Celica with racing stripes and coffe can exhaust without signalling, with a flippant "Yaaa digggg?"

JP gets my vote, and by vote I mean everlasting ire.
 

this site was built around all that is joey p, it is only fitting that he accepts his prize and smacks a big kiss on it. he is the yearly and the universal douchebag with roped-in hottie
 

I'm afraid to vote, since all of my choices in the primaries went down in flames. Greasy, greasy flames. And yet, I must exercise my franchise: Joey Fucking Porsche.
 

For all those that never saw the myspace lunacy of JoeyFcukiin Carrera. Behold this message board, replete with pics

http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=16058
 

These guys are on such an elite level that it is hard to choose ...

I have to go with Porsche and Co.(the Donk is too costumed)

Joey chooses to look as cock-punchingly infuriating as is New Jersily possible, despite ample evidence in popular culture that says, "PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!"

I must now go administer a mental enema on myself.
 

I truly loathe the Donkster, and it is something like second nature to type "Fuck Fishslap." Jenny in the Fishslap pic nearly pushed him over the edge, but, as the changing of the pics indicates, it is the douchiest douche that we are voting for, with the hotts simply serving as a buffer to protect our fragile minds from the overwhelming power of the scrote. And thus, I have to drop my vote for Joey P., the douchiest representative of all that is wrong with douchebags. Congratulations, Joey. I hope you choke on your kissy lips and die crying like a little girl.
 

Joey Porsche is the king of all categories, he has everything: the grease, the orange, the bling, the cloths, gray goose, kissy lips, hotties with big boobs, hand gestures, dog tags name any douche feature he got it! And I had the chance to see his My Space before he made it private. I fell off my chair! Ya Diiiggg?
 

Donkey douche never had a shot. Now on two the real dilemma, Joey P. and Fish Slap.

Either one can carry the torch into 2008 as the pinnacle of douchbaggery.

As much as I want to vote for Joey Porsche, I am going with my gut and casting my vote for Fish Slap.

Fuck him.
 

fishslap FTW
 

What a tough decision. It is clear from the get go that it will be a duel between Fish Slap and Joey P.

Not to take anything away from DD, but we are talking another league here.

So yes, Joey P. does indeed represent everything douchey, he is the Experience. But still he does not inspire the brutal rage and urge to kill that Fish Slap does.

I vote for Fish Slap. While Joey P. is hateable, i would never want to see him die, he is in the end one likeable Guido kid. Fish Slap instead deserves only hate and possibly getting gang raped.

Fuck you Fish Slap!
 

Fish Slap, the Gladouchiator, FTW.
 

Any other year I would give it to Fish Slap--the Hott on his right is pure creamsicle on a stick, complete with Penthouse worthy fingernails & the ever slutty cancer stick. The innocent on his left is just dirty enough to be interesting--the come hither look & the just-out-of-training bra push make her delectable. He of course sucks.

But there can be only one, and 2007 was indeed the year of Joey Porsche. Not since Lee Hotti has there been a bigger overall douche, who has spread more cheer (read contempt) across the U.S. While most of the baggers on this site ride alone, Joey has a Posse. While most bags attract the random Hott, Joey has his harem. Fish Slap & Donkster could be from anywhere USA and just letting it role in Vegas--with Joey it is evident that this is a lifestyle born & breed in sewers of New Jersey and/or Long Island. Much like the Hong Kong flu, or the Manila strain of malaria, Joey Porsche is the carrier strain of the virus that has spread across the world. There can be only one, and for 2007 it is Joey Porsche.
 

Some people think a vote for Donkey Douche is a wasted vote, but the Douchies are about principles...and douchebags and, let's not forget, hotts. DD is therefore the complete package and I stand by my minority vote.
 

jp!!!
 

Joey P. may be the douchest of the three, but Fish Slap and his hotts instill the most rage.

Fuck Fish Slap
 

Man, this is a tough one. There is a greasy slew of worthy contenders and this is very close.

However, I have to go with Donkey Douche. His clothes are more douchey, he has the tribal arm band, his hott is hotter, his hair is taller. and the douche lips seem much less forced than Joey Porsche. Although I was leaning toward JP because of the over exaggerated douche face and his flock of look-alike cronies "hangin out the side of his best friends ride", I have to go with the Donk. He seems to be getting on in his years and he may be in the later years of his douchie club bouncing. JP and is an up and coming rookie with plenty of time to win the douchie of the year.

My Vote is Donkey Douche, a true professional douche-bag.
 

There is a fine line between douchebaggery and asshattery. DB-iness is inherently focused on the bleethed out hott, while AH-ery also takes into account the presence of Bra's and Broheighm's.
J Porsche is never without his greased up, orange posse, leading me to believe that his attention is not solely focused on bewbs. Thus, the JP Experience, while still douchstastic, is moreso asshattish.
The Slap is a DB with true cunning. Never wavering too far from bleethiness, his stone cold DB stare haunts the nightmares of Bag Hunters across the globe. His consistancy alone is a tribute to the sheer douchiness attainable by man.
Fish is the essence of Douche. Shaved eyebrows and all.
 

Joey Porsche...
...
...
...
YA DIGGGGG????
 

Fuck Fish Slap, but Fuck Joey Porsche #1, Fuck Joey Porsche #2, and Fuck Joey Porsche #3. J.P. ftw.
 

well...it looks like any voting at this point is null and void. joey p has obviously won this, hands down.

i was always reluctant to vote for him because he looks like more of a bagling than a bag.

voting for anyone else at this point is like voting for nader, but i give my vote to the slap.

and an honorary mention to flyteeth
 

Joey P is a joke right? I smell a fraud—along with a tub of Spiker by Joico. If I'm wrong, then there can be no other winner.
 

Joey Porche. I have nothing else to add.

-Jesse The Douche Ventura
 

for the bastardized slant rhyme of 'addicted to what my dick just did,' mr. porsche by a nubby, incapable penis.
 

J.P.E. Nuff Said.
 

Fuck this is hard! Fish Slap and the DD have peaked in their douchiness, I think. We will still be enraged with the fact that such obvious assholes can beguile some amazing women. These women alone for encouraging such douchiness have set women's suffrage back at least 2-300 years. Maybe further.
But Joey P? In another 2-3 years he will be an unstoppable force of douchiness. He is the young Anakin Skywalker of douche. And for the amount choadtastic douchiness he has exhibited thus far, and what he will (unless we stop him) will exhibit, Joey P for the win.
 

my "dream 3" would have included the now-ousted trainwreck and crustacean along with the omnipresent joey porsche. but now, forced to look to an alternative final 3, i must reevaluate the criteria by which i chose the douchiest. just as the hotts must reevaluate the criteria by which they chose who they associate with.
joey porsche, while a veritable calamity of doucheotomy, surrounds himself with similar oompa loompa-toned ass clowns. they all make the face. they all have lips that are a shade normally reserved for those of the vertical variety. they all make me want dunk my glue-soaked hands in broken glass and punch myself in the eyes and throat simultaneously. is he follower, or leader? there is obviously a culture of douchetrics from whatever cologne soaked part of jersey he is from. is he to blame, or is it simply the fact that the influence of his environment is too douchey to overcome? if this is true, i pity him. he is out.
donkey...where to start. he may be the missing link between normal man and today's uber douche. homo scrotian. knows not what he does. his iq is low. his instincts to douche are the innate control which direct his life. the ghost inside the scrot, if you will. he is poo.
and now to cast my vote for the douche of the year. fish slap. this smirking ass face is clueless in a way that doesn't even compare to the low intellect of donkey douche. he knows what he does. and what he does is suck at life. each time i look at the picture i find a new reason to hate life, society, nose studs on guys--wait, i already have enough reasons to hate those.
but i digress.
in every instance that this boner breath has shown his ugly, greasy, grieco-esque face on this site he has demonstrated pure and utter douchness. there are no signs of any let up on his constant drive to achieve this award. the same drive which has worked for him in the gym to achieve the ability to wear the gayest costume since ace and gary, will work for him here.

and as for his hott, i cannot respect any non-rufied woman who associates with this complete bouliabaise of shit. i wouldn't fuck her with a dirty stick.

yes i would.

then i'd smell it.
 

mother fuckin fish slap! same douche look, same douche lips, same gay ass douche bling, same douche face in every fucking picture. the consistency of choaditude in his work is mind boggling. he is the cal ripken of douchery. day in, day out, he shows up and performs, and by performs i mean he takes it up the ass. joey p is guido douche of the year 4 sure. donkey douche should get his own fucking category. the guy might actually transcend douchebaggery as we know it, maybe second coming of Grieco? but the slap just kills me. every time. fuck fish slap
 

jjooooeeeyyyyy!!!!!!
 

jjooooeeeyyyyy!!!!!!
 

i was really hoping the slap would win but let's be honest, JP represents all that is wrong with america. i never saw the myspace but i'll take everybody's word for it.
 

While "Donkey" deserves "mosy douchiest shirt"...And "Fish slap" has the hottest hotts by far...There is and will only be one true winner "Joey Porsche"...
The reason I became a "Bag-Hunter and passed a link to your website to oh-so-many friends to enjoy as much as i do...and by enjoy i mean...Poo
 

#1 Joey!
 

Gotta go with Joey P!
 

I vote Jp...hands down....ive actually taken a liking to pointing douchebags out when Im at the bar and pointing and laughing with the group Im with at the time....Its honestly one of the main reasons I go out to the bars....I love this shit....
 

while donkster and fishgreaseboy may have the upper hand on the "perfect douche look", i think Joey P's appearance externalizes the überdouche within the best. so im gonna go with Joey P.
 

Fish Slap.
 

joey porsche...aka haim ohayon
 

Joey P. by a douche-hair.
 

Joey is da douche-man.
 

JP Pic
 

Joey P must be douche of the year. It is definitely the year of the New Jersey douche.
 

Joey. No contest.
 

@DDiggler

great work- can we get AbLobster to somehow point at JP's abs?

JP will win this, so I need not vote.

Is JP like Anakin Skywalker? He's like a young douche with too many doucheclorites. He's so young, yet the Douche is so strong. It is scary.

Luckily, JP has not the ability for independent thought, and I predict we will see him posturing many douche moves in the future, such as Doggie Bagging and Pumpy pumping.

(Could you imagine the line up of Douche's for the Douche Wars movie? Would Velvet Jones play the Sammy Jackson role or the Billy Dee Williams guy? Is Fish Slap Obi-wan or some Darth dude? )
 

woops- almost forget

FFS!

(Fuck Fish Slap stupid)
 

Fish Slap. As much as I expected this to be a difficult contest (I voted for all three of the douches in the bracket stage), I am strangely at ease with my zen-like epiphany that Fish Slap must rule them all.

(But kudos deluxe for including the "Yabba Dabba Douche!" photo of the Donk. At least he went out swinging.)
 

Joey, the stuff of legend. Having there be 3 of them only makes it more choadilian (possible word for the gator?)

JOEY FcUkiin CARRERA ★★NR may just be the biggest douche in the universe...but will Crossing Over's John Edwards recover from losing the title?
 

aaaah fuck all 3 of em. This is like voting for the worst way to die, serious. Fuck Fish Slap. Fuck Joey P. FUCK DONKEY DOUCHE.

They are sooo bad, I gotta go with Donks.
 

Ya God-Damn Digggggggggggg in a run-a-way! DB1, please keep us posted on how you break the news to him.

Deuche Baggilo
 

joey porsche!
 

I feel like some of you are forgetting the charter of this site- it has to do with the commingling of the hott and the bag and the rage/confusion that triggers in all of us. It's what DB1 is always hammering at.
While Joey P is the most choadacious, where's the hott?

Fish Slap ftw.
 

Donkey Douche, absolutely. He takes everything that is Douche and turns it up to eleven by removing even the most basic hints of sophistication. Fishslap attempts some semblance of class with his white shirt and Jesus Bling and the JP could pass as human with their polo shirts (assuming the hair and orange skin has been removed--preferably with a chainsaw). But the donkey lacks any such pretension. His leopard print shirt screams the most self-absorbed non-awareness of his own ridiculousness, while his smug gesture reflects a singular persona of one of the many elements of Douchebagness--the arrogant testosterone fueled jock mentality. In that way he is the physical embodiment of just one of the many aspects of the douchebag, melted down and solidified into a physical being of rare exception. He is so consumed by his purpose. So obsessed by his eventual realization as a Douchebag. He does not tire. He does not feel pain. Only Linda Hamilton can stop this single-minded beast of bag.

That and his girl looks like she'd fuck me six ways to Sunday.

Either or.
 

For me the vote for "Douchebag of the Year" is kinda like Sophie's choice in that movie "Sophie's Choice" only instead of a mother having to chose between her 2 kids its like me trying to chose between 3 heaping piles of elephant shit.

Joey Porsche - JP has it all - the pouty lips, the ridiculous jersey bag spiked hair, the grey goose, the orange skin, the huge volume of picks and the A/X everything. But the one thing he lacks above all other finalists is the top shelf hott. Not to say i wouldn't stick my Long Island in her Garden State Parkway but really JPs hott are more Jersey Skank then Purg Hottie. I can't the guy DBoftheYear if i'm not a little bit jealous that he landed his hott. Sorry JP, I just can't.

Donkey Douche - Donkey may have the doucheface of the year. He may even have the most ridiculous shirt of the year. And his hott is light years above anything JP can muster but DD just doesn't do it for me on that "Douchebag of the Year" level. He's an all-pro bag and a Hall of Scroter but Douchtorious B.A.G put it best when he said "I have yet to visit here daily and read a "Fuck Donkey Douche......".

Fish Slap - It all comes back to the Slap. He was what got me to this site and he is the essence of what keeps me here still. His transcendent hott stick by him despite the fact that he is a walking cover for Homo magazine, dressed up as a 300 warrior for Halloween, has a star tattooed on his side, has a nose ring, wears designer hats with a 10 degree tilt (gangsta!) and probably smells more like he bathed in AXE then all the other assbags on this site combined. I mean Look at Jenny... look at her! FUCK FISH SLAP!!!

He's getting docked marks from some because of suspicion he's a gaybag but i don't see this. If it is ever proven I hope the Douchie is stripped from his cold gay hands. But until i'm proven wrong he's my DB of the Year.

FUCK YOU FISH SLAP!! Enjoy your fucking trophy.
 

Yet again I hesitantly vote for the Slap and am keeping my fingers crossed that he isn't outed. He almost deserves it even if he is a Judy Garland fan.
 

I would also like to add that voting for Douchebag of the Year above all else should not be analytical - it should be a feeling.

Fuck Fish Slap is a feeling.

A feeling inside where you just want to hit the guy with a big soggy wide mouth bass.

Fuck Fish Slap!
 

I feel like my head is about to explode after trying to make a decision on this. Gotta go with Fish Slap, he's just too strong in every area. He's put a lot of work into coming an Elite 'Bag and it shows.
 

to John Edwards:
"Joey P., however, demonstrates almost every behavior I despise. Willful ignorance as a way of life coupled with an inability to comprehend his own arrogant homoerotic, materialistic vacuousness, topped with a heaping swirl of entitlement because his parents believed Dr. Spock. He not only doesn't get it, he doesn't want to."

you said it all brother, amen

p.s. there is one thing these douchebags will never understand, "Disco Stu does not advertise."
 

JOey
 

Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Where's Memphis Choad in all of this?!?!?!?
 

Another JP pic
 

I didn't photoshop the pics...they're from the tucker max message board. Great stuff over there.
 

Damn DB1 this is gonna be a close one. The Slap is really pullin' some wool. Donk is just a Fred Flintbag. I would like to Barney his Wilma though. In the end J.P. has consistently raised the bar for bags everywhere, so he gets my vote. And by vote I mean endless ridicule and a bottle of the Goose to the 'nads.
 

I can't really have my heart in this, now that the bag of all bags, Trainwreck, is out of the running, but amongst the leftovers, the answer is clear:

The man who taught us all about rollin' with the Goose, Joey Porsche.
 

This has been one for the ages. It is good the Gator was not included in this battle royale or it would have pitted luke skywalker joey porsche agains Darth Gator in a battle to retain use of the Douche Star to wreak havoc on the entire galaxy.

Moving on. I can't hate the Donk. He looks like someone my sister would invite out and you would get him drunk and then punch that ever protruding chin. and he wouldn't even care. donkeys are dumb like that.

Fish Slap. to paraphrase the below linked hilarious youtube clip in regards to douche bags:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge7Igt-R7E8

(fishslap's) douchebaggery transcends gayness, as even boy george would yell FAG at him from a passing vehicle.

and last and certainly not least Joey P. Until i saw the Acapulco clip I was leaning Fish Slap. but Joey brought it home. To see that truly was an "experience". but this is to say getting struck by lightning or having your testicles stabbed with ice picks is an "experience".

so it's Joey P bringing it home strong.

And to my fellow hunters: STRONG comments out there. It really is the comments that keep me coming back to this site every day. Oh that and I am obsessed with holy blue triangle.

Snarky
 

This is a hideous question with an easy answer. Choosing one of these three is like being given a choice of how you'd like to die. Would you prefer to be stabbed repeatedly about the face and neck, dropped from a very high altitude onto jagged rocks, or be stripped naked, beaten with a cheese grater and bolted face down onto a sawhorse while a porcupine tied to a telephone pole is shot from a cannon up your rectum? You're doomed no matter what, so you might as well go for the one that people are going to talk about forever.

The Joey Porsche Experience. The ballistic porcupine in all our rectums. Recta. Whatever.
 

Joey Porsche!!!! You may not be as flagrant or bizarre as other douches, but your myspace page sealed the deal for me.

Not to mention everything else about you.
 

Joey, the pride of Great Neck. Only a young bagling...may you spread your wings (and Axe body spray) from Montauk to Belmar for years to come.
 

Fish slap makes me want to run. You look at the guy, and just know he is an ass.
 

Although Joey lacks the hott he rolls deep and is an A++ douche. Joey P is a true legend and he gets my vote...
 

Joey fcukin Carerra! Yaaaaa Diggggg?
Any of the three would be worthy standard bearers of HCwDB. And by worthy, I mean complete douchetastical scrotitude.
But Joey P. is the douchiest of them all.
 

JP's Douche Platoon
 

I think we're all adicted to what those dicks did. JP for the win.

Following the vote there should be a victory bonfire where we burn them on a pyre of hair gel, Gray Goose and Spray Tan propellent.
 

What if you found out that you were dying? Who would you tell that you love them? Who would you reach out and punch defiantly with your last bit of earthly strength?

JOEY PORSCHE.
 

This is like picking between children, Joey v. Fishslap, Granted Joey has an etherial douched out quality that really is the high brow douchedom that many do aspire to. However, I have to go with Fish Slap for the win. The razored eye brow, the 300 halloween pics, i feel like I know this guy. And by know, i mean if i saw him in a club I would beat him senseless with a sperry topsider.
 

This is like picking between children, Joey v. Fishslap, Granted Joey has an etherial douched out quality that really is the high brow douchedom that many do aspire to. However, I have to go with Fish Slap for the win. The razored eye brow, the 300 halloween pics, i feel like I know this guy. And by know, i mean if i saw him in a club I would beat him senseless with a sperry topsider.
 

JP is a clueless turd.
Everything about him rings hollow. I don't see him with many hotties either...isn't that a factor here?


Donk is the real deal and his femme makes my taint tingle...but as someone else mentioned I can't bring myself to hate him.


Fish Slap....now that's a fuckhead I hate.

One vote for Fish Slap.
 

Fuck you Fish Slap!!! You're going to be DB of the year!!!
 

clearly fish slap
 

Donkey. That shirt, nuff said
 

fish slap.

the topper: nose stud







bleeeeaooooooooccchhhghg!!!

barf.
 

While DD and JP clearly have a firm grasp on douchitude, I'm afraid Fish Slap takes the cake. In an alternate universe where I have not been exposed to scrotastic expressionism, I might be convinced that DD and JP were merely idiots, tricked by friends and bad genetics into those outfits and expressions. Fish Slap, however, could not confuse even a neophyte bag hunter. He doesn't need the trashy shirt of DD or guido tendencies of JP to fully express his internal vinegary douche. He's a complete, effortless, Abercrombie-model-wannabe douche, who need not accessorize to call attention to his grundle-stank scrotitude.
 

Well, the playoffs are over and the winning wild-card team, Donkey Douche, just ran up against the two buzz-saw Super Bowl teams that just will not be denied.

Joey P. and Fish Slap possess such similar qualities in so many ways, and that's what makes them the two prime choices for DB of the Year:

Effeminate, primping posing pics? Both.
Kissy lips? JP has the in-your-face baboon's ass look, Fish Slap - as one astute commenter pointed out - has such sublime kissy lips that he doesn't even need to try.

And on, and on.

So it comes down to the differences for me:

Quality of hott - Fish Slap.
Imitative posse - Joey P.
Tan-in-a-can - Joey P.
Bling and a-douche-crements: Fish Slap.

Damn, even that didn't work.

So here's the one true difference: Joey P. is becoming an Internet celebrity. He's been photoshopped in a Fark thread, he's popped up on discussion boards. Fish Slap has toiled alone in his "exclusive" Chicago night-clubs, posing with hotts, and is notorious pretty much only on HCwDB as far as I know.

Here's where my bullshit radar kicks in. Joey P. and his posse seem to be just TOO good to be true, to me. From the first pic, I searched on "Joey Porsche prank", "Joey Porsche practical joke", and "Joey Porsche morning radio show". They seem to be caricaturing the Jersey guido douche culture. They're so in your face as to cross the line into comedy. And in too many pics - hotts and other 'bags alike - those posing with them almost seem as if they're in on a joke, too.

I've found no proof. But my gut feeling tells me the Joey Porsche Experience may be just that - a modern world, created experience.

So I've got to vote for Fish Slap. He's definitely the real deal. And I don't think he's a gaybag (probably a bi-bag), I think he's the ultimate representation of metrosexual man gone horribly awry that I've ever seen.

I sure do hope my gut feeling is wrong... Because if it is - which is likely, I'll admit - JP and Posse are an awesome choice for HCwDBotY.

And, yes, I'm a bit of a skeptical crank. Always have been...
 

2 years ago, my wife gave birth to siamese twins, and I had to choose which one's life to save.... this decision for me is muchhhh harder than that! I can't vote for Porsche solely on the fact that I hate him so much, I don't want him to win anything at all, negative or positive! DD is actually starting to grow on me for some reason, looking foward to his upcomin pics.... Fish Slap really f*ck*ng irritates me, every damn picture of him... gotta go with the Slap!
 

I said the Slap was the Douche Messiah. But it appears I was wrong. He is more like John the 'Bagtist--a douche prophet of the highest order, and yet merely a harbinger of The One Who Was to Come.

Joey Porche is Greico incarnate. A mere 'bagling of 18 and he is already taking down invincible Titans of Scrote like the Slap--inconceivable.

Remember that scene in A Time to Kill where Samuel S. Jackson's 12-year old daughter was tied down and raped by three inbred white supremecists? And when they're being led to trial in handcuffs Jackson hides himself in a closet of the courtroom antechamber with an assault rifle... and just as they pass by he busts out in slow motion and BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM shoots up those piece of shit white trash rapist motherfuckers and brass shells are flying and people are running in slow motion and even though it's a scene of terrible violence you have goosebumps on your arms and its like YES SAMUEL L JACKSON, YES! KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS! And when it's done and the sympathetic cops are leading him away--proud, defiant, but calm and polite, accepting the arrest he fully anticipated--your heart is still pounding and yes, a slight welling of tears has clouded your vision.

You know that feeling? Multiply that by about a thousand and that's what I would feel watching Joey Porche's kissy lips getting torn off with needlenose pliers.