DB1 -

... anything by John Irving.

Dude .. that joke shreds.

Why is skinhead dude walking on stilts in a Japanese restaurant?

Oh look, there's a token black guy in the group. He looks like the bastard love child of Tiger Woods and Irving "Magic" Johnson.
I don't think he got the memo about the dress code, though. It's: guys wear black shirts, skanks wear white or creamed colored shirts.

Shortly after this bunch left the restaurant the chef committed hara-kiri. (Suicide by pluning a sword into one's own abdomen)
 

Um, dude, it's bad enough when guys who actually have well-defined abs raise their shirt, but those are not abs. It's just a stomach. Drop your shirt and back away from brunette hott.
 

Um, yes waiter, I have a tip for you: Kill yourself.
 

Actually, I think the token black guy is Bernie Williams.
 

Um, so, the white fingernailed hand on douchebag's shin...who's is it?

And by the way, I'm not sure if anyone told you this, but holding up your shirt while pointing at your buddy makes you gay. Oh, you already knew that? Carry on then.
 

i think his head is photo shopped on to his body and his body is photo shopped into this picture. that would explain the phantom hand. this group would not hang out with such a scrote. they all work in a Davenport finance firm and this is a casual friday sushi dinner.. he is a Las Vegas salamander that used to dance on the side stage a one of the Rio's less popular lounges. poor, Davenport hotts, i guess what happened in vegas got brought back home like the rash. tiger woods guy secretly bangs the old mesh top blonde because she wants to piss her husband off.

all pretty sub par
 

Someone hung a douchebag scarecrow on the wall. Seems to have worked, it kept the real douchebags away.

Vader's got a good point. Unless ghost nipples are out getting French manicures, that hand is either a leftover from the photoshopping or the Jolly Queen Giant is getting a Nagafuki Surprise from the waitress.
 

squatch's ex-roommate said ...


Ha ha ha squatch you are still bagging on douchebags I bet that makes you feel like a really big man; just like the day you left me and my apartment and I was all alone I bet you felt like a really big man that day too, huh?!?

Well I'm much better now after some psycotherapy and some meds and I'm ready to take on the world because the real reality agrees with everything I say.

So there, take that!
 

@Squatch's ex-roommate,

Curses! Foiled again!

I think the douchebag in this pic's name is Queef Abdul-Jabbar. He can slam-dunk a 'bag hand gesture like an All-Pro.

Just don't ask about how well he 'dribbles'...
 

I name thee "Douche Abless Maximus", there is someone missing in the pic, down by his leg is a womens hand probably the girl that did not want to seen with this turd
 

Photoshlepp could be right, but I think it looks like someone put their friend's face in front of the 'bag's ikkle weenie....no, wait. He's facing the wrong way. Thats it! His face goes the OTHER way!
Brunette's juuuuust starting to realize what he's doin...you can see the fear creeping into her eyes...subconsciously she's shying away but keeping the "smile" for the camera's sake, but the pungent aura of doucheness is building like a storm. Wrong-Way Watson there has a sweeeeeeeeeeet fey bracelet....Spongebob? Young Tiger, please back away from the Cougar-Lesbian, no matter how big you're tellin her you are, she ain't eatin sausage. Drop the 2 sub-hotts back off at the bowling alley, the beer frame's over n it's their turn.
 

Good call on Bernie Williams. I saw it immediately. That same half blind squint witnessed during those waning Yankee years.


The phantom hand seems to (supposed to) belong to sexy shoulder.
 

Can we get a spinoff site of HCwDB.com called Cougars Licking Their Chops and Prepping Their Pastrami Curtains for Young Douchebags.com?

Catchy title, isn't it?!
 

Thanks for pointing that out, Anon.

If that really is her arm, then we've gotta stop baggin on Magilla Scrotilla for having the physique of an orangutan. This chick probably got grass stains on her knees as a kid while playing on the monkey-bars...

Pastrami curtains? Well, looks like I'll be having something different for lunch tomorrow. Thanks for fucking that up, Plinky.
 

Though lifting your shirt is quite high on the scrote scale, to his credit, he is pointing at the hott, and acknowledging her.... that's gotta lower the score a tiny bit, no?

The Greico is strong on that one, but there is still the glimmer of redemption. And boobies.
 

Ber-nie! Ber-nie! Ber-nie!
 

One shot one kill, sooooo many douches so few bullets.

Viktor Von Douche
 

Anything to help you out squatch.
Well, not anything. You sick bastard.
 

What.The.Fuck. Bueno terroristy Chico DeBarge, nice pose. This guy is a mess.
 

It appears that she's trying to keep him from doing a header into the table, but could only reach his ankle.

He reminds me quite a bit of the guy that was featured here a while ago (damned if I can't remember what month, though)...looked like his head was filled with helium and was only slightly tethered to his neck...can anyone help me out?
 

Looks like right below phantom hand is phantom head of hair, which is understandable. Some fine, nubile, young hott probably didn't want to be seen with Abless Maximus over there, so hid, and to prevent him from stepping on her face in his self-absorbed dickery, rested her head on his foot and hand on his leg.

But that's just rampant speculation.

Fuck this. I'm going to class. And I want to say again how hot tongue-out hott is from Youthbag's picture. So damn hot, makes me want to devote my life to creating a twicelife-size sculpture of her out of the softest marshmallows so I can nestle in its boobs for all eternity. In a perfect world.
 

Parrot to cheese grater....

Always a flash of brilliance. AH, DB1; it is these type of non-sequiturs that help me get through the day with a good laugh....keep up the good work!.....

Matt LeBagODouche
 

this photo raises a good question:

regular Kikkoman Soy Sauce or Kikkoman Soy Sauce Lite?

choose wisely.





if you chose Kikkoman Soy Sauce Lite, you are a douchebag.
 

"No, I didn't order a to-go bag of douche *did you guys order this shit?*

Ummm, can you send it back, please? It's not done yet anyway..."
 

Hmmm, i wasn't suppose to be anon but anyways besides the phantom hand douche abless maximus seems to be holding a book in his arms. " how to pick up chicks" chapter1 Pick up chicks with the wave of an upside down middle finger, be careful you can also make them dissapear
 

Chapter 2, hump the back of your buddies head and make him smile, Chicks dig it
 

I wondered what Bernie Williams was up to..Bern baby Bern...
 

So this is what alcoholics anonymous looks like!? Remind me to never attend one of their meetings.
 

Good eye on the soy pfah.

And if my theory about racial preferences for Chinese food is correct, all the honkeys ordered cashew chicken, and Bernie ordered the duck noodle.
 

@ plinky & DB1:

What are you guys talking about? John Irving rules.
 

At a quick glance, this scrotebag vaguely reminds me of Fish Slap. Good lord, like I need anything reminding me of Fish Slap other than Fish Slap himself. I think its the look on his face, his pretentious demeanor, etc. Oh yeah - screw you Fish Slap. And screw you Fish Slap wannabe.
 

Is it just me or does douche look suspiciously like Scott Foley???

And all the HC's except for sexy shoulder are def. on the wrong side of 30 probably on the wrong side of 40.
 

ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!!


DB1's other half has made an appearance on another website. did you get Purg's digits yet DB1? we all are hoping the best for you two.

here's the picture (we've seen it on HCwDB before): http://eatliver.com/i.php?n=2609
 

@ mitch meats

I never know what I'm talking about. I pay somebody to write my material for me.

Speaking of which, that reminds me of the Family Guy when Woody Allen wrote material for Peter. Classic.

Anyway Mitch Meats I have to admit I don't know that much about John Irving except for heresy.
DB1's joke sounded really funny. It just seemed to fit well.

With that being said throw out a John Irving title for a John Irving abecedarian like me and maybe 'ole plinky will give it a look-see.
 

The World According to Garp (also a movie)

The Cider House Rules (also a movie)

A Widow For One Year (also a movie, renamed A Door In the Floor)

A Prayer For Owen Meany (my personal favorite book of all time)

If your interested in fucked up sexual perversions (and since you're here, I will assume you are) I suggest you get reading and/or watching.
 

@ mitch meats

Great, thanks for the 411.
And I do remember he wrote the World According to Garp and I dig that movie. John Lithgow as a former pro football player turned transvestite is sharp.

I'll go to the bookstore and thumb through some of the titles you suggest. I'm sure I'll like him because - as you alluded to - I'm kind of a perv and freak myself.
But really is there any other way to be?
 

I have no answer to this photo.

I can't respond.

I'm emotionally paralyzed.

One thing is for sure, I've finally settled my internal debate regarding the existence of any kind of divine presence in our world.

Pardon me while I go slit my throat with Sean Taylor's machete.
 

As stupid as that guy looks it's gotta be a 'that guy' photo
 

is he gonna pee in their hair?
 

Wondering about the story behind this one really is fascinating. I've decided that the douche is actually their waiter. He's not sitting with the group, and he appears to be holding... a chinese menu in his hand...

Wait, is it possible that he is a Were-douche of London?
 

I actually know the blonde she's a good friend of mine and the brunette, to make matters worse is her sister. The blonde is a ballerina model and her sister is a model. And what they are doing there, I'll never know, because hott friends don't let hott friends hang out with douchebags. If I had been there, this never would have happened. Or the next photo would have been of all of us pointing and laughing.
 

He is the waiter! I work at that restaurant!