hey put the redhead back up ya bastard.

well if she had to be replaced, this is acceptable. she is angelic.

"Be careful, the douche could be on the other side of the door!"
 

I think that is my ex-girlfriend. Seriously...she looked just like this after she dyed her hair. Good to see she's still shaggin bags. Ross was real wrong to wear those aviators.

Watch out for the dog! Damn.
 

Hahahaha...success. I congratulate myself on finding this guy in the MySpace chats.
 

So I stared at this picture for a few moments, trying to understand why I hate Pissskin so much.

It wasn't the ridiculous tattoo or the penis he replaced his nose with. Not the reversible beat tank or the necklace that comes halfway down his chest.

Then it hit me...it's the fuckin smirk. The smirk that screams, "I'm a douchebag."
 

He's never been the same since he finished 2nd in the "Bowser" look alike contest.

She is sweeeeeet, but now tainted, a shame really.
 

She is beautiful.

He... er. uh... The dog is on THIS side of the door.
 

Though it's nice to see that despite getting no work since Friends, David Schwimmer can still reel in a hottie.
 

Young Clara-Bell Edelstein has entered her freshman year at college. Finally she's away from home and free of her overbearing Jewish parents. She's starting to feel enlightened, nay EMPOWERED. She's finally escaped the tight grip of Judaism and that damn prying grandmother of hers.

Meanwhile, somewhere on Long Island

Clara-Bell's devout and old school grandmother nervously mumbles to herself ... Oyyyyyy, I hope my Clara-Bell find herself nice Jewish boy!

Cut to:

Int. Doormroom. Night.

Clara-Bell is getting her brains fucked out by Giavonni, the nice Italian boy from Queens who doesn't attend college but rather works in an auto body shop as the oil change supervisor. He knows a friend of a friend who attends the same school as Clara-Bell whom he met one night at one of those faggot boy frat parties.

Giavonni pulls out and blows a juicy load on Clara-Bell's face.

Cut to:

Int. A Long Island Home. Night.

Clara-Bell's grandmother is rocking herself in a quiet, dark room. Suddenly she stops, then gasps for breath. She has sensed something terrible has happend to her Clara-Bell. She shrieks ....
Oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
 

This pic pisses me off ten times more than most on this site because this isn't the skank with the tramp stamp, platinum bleached hair, fake tits, and permanent wrinkles at the corners of her mouth from years of hoovering cock, this is the girl-next-door hottie you see by herself on the subway reading a 700-page book who got straight A's throughout school. This is just wrong. So wrong.
 

he looks like that dude. that dude that was in that movie. the clint eastwood movie, with mario van peebles. the dude that shot the skeleton in the classroom with the ak-47. that dude. i hate that dude.
 

@ Plinky

No self-respecting Jewish family would have a "Clara-Bell" in it.

No self-respecting Jewish girl would go anywhere near this choad.

In short, her entire family needs a little self-respect.
 

he looks like he might enjoy a bowl of Ziti.

Buon Appettito'

Lotd

I would destroy this girl, and by destroy I mean Fuck really really hard.
 

SUNGLASSES.
INDOORS.

Why wont someone think of the innocent dog behind the door!
 

David Schwimmer and Ric Ocasek had a love child?

He talks so much shit his chin grew an anus, I reckon.

Yeah, shame about Snow White Disney Heroine girl, now covered in a fine frit of douche specs.

The missing part of the paper on the door says "Licking peanut butter off of my balls!!!"
 

@plinky nice.
Cut to scene, Clara Bell brings home Pisskin, father answers the door:

"Oy vey!"
 

Wow, new masthead at the top of the site! When did DB1 get web designer money? And why didn't he squander it on Night Train?
 

Exactly Darksock, exactly. This guy is like a Ross/Sly Stalone from Cobra combo.
 

Props to Pfah for the new masthead. I'll give him a proper shoutout tomorrow, cuz I'm off to drink and hit on LA hotties...
 

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ that girl is beautiful.

As has been stated in this thread already, the tragedy in all of this is that she's not some bleethed-out, tramp-stamped whore already. She looks downright wholesome and pure. Her naivete is being exploited by this tremendous douchebag and nobody is intervening. Where are her family and friends?

She's like the nerdy kid who was an outcast and a dork all throughout school who suddenly gets noticed by the "cool crowd", and she's so intoxicated with being accepted and popular that she betrays all of the qualities that make her a wonderful person in the first place. The is the crucial first phase of the bleething process.

It's so tragic, and depressing to witness.
 

This girl's cute in a Katie Holmes kind of way..and by that, I mean Katie Holmes pre-being brainwashed by Tom Cruise.
 

I posted another sonnet in the "Sonnet to Pumpy" section below.

Clara-Bell is super cute and mostly Bleethless - on the outside. Now she's likely all Grieco-and-other-infected in her bad place, though. It hurts to think about it.

The dogshit is not on the other side of the door.
 

"Penis he replaced his nose with."
Nice work Anon.
 

Snake Foreskin. Hahahahahahah, that's funny.
 

So...am I like a total loser for posting something here hours after everybody else left? I guess it is friday night, and the rest of you probably have girlfriends. I'm so fat.
 

Ya know, it's not even fun for me to go out looking for guys anymore, because they all look like this now. :(
 

Tori, that's just not true, there's US!


Of course, we all look like middle managers at a hydraulics factory...
 

R.M.W.P.T. - No, you are a total loser for posting here in the first place. Welcome! DB1 will be sending your jacket in the mail.
 

DB1 - the new masthead looks great, and just in time for The Book. Well I can't let Pfah top me; when your book blows up I'll design your mansion. And by "design your mansion" I mean I'll change the title block on an elementary school set of plans I did recently; you'll have a lot of rooms anyway....

Until then I have only this to offer:

http://home.earthlink.net/~ggghostie/maltliquor.html
 

Somewhere in west L.A., a 40 year old douchebag -Boss jacket collar popped, $150 dollar t-shirt a tad tight for 40- exists the club with the ever increasingly rare pick-up -THANKS GOOSE!- and goes to his Lexus coupe that Snake has just brought around. Bustin' his buttons, Mr. Big Shot of the moment throws Snake a twenty. As the apprehensive-for-different-reasons couple drive away the smell of falafel farts and body funk drowns out K-os on the Blaupunkt, sobers up Miss Kitty to the point of sanity, and leaves our hero wondering at just what moment she's going to say "Just drop me anywhere."

Snake smiles.

Hell, we're all smiling.
 

This douchebag looks like something Matt Groening drew.
 

Speak for yourself, darksock. I'm going for more of an assistant manager at Autozone look. Tori, I'll be happy to help you with all of your wiper blade and headlight bulb needs.
 

Tori:

Do NOT take R.D. up on the headlight bulb offer........
 

He actually got the Cobra emblem (from the Ford Mustang Cobra) tattooed on his arm? I often contemplate getting the Caddilac emblem tattooed on me, but someone always talks me out of it. Fuck it, I'm going to do it.
"You know, Cobretti, you've got an attitude problem"
"Yeah, but it's just a little one"
All he needs is a match in the corner of his mouth and Brigitte Neilsen instead of wholesome Lauren Graham hott.
 

david schwimmer?