Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The Samovar
Here we've captured the rare Eastern European Douche in a natural state of repose. The wannabe Prussian Mobster who's in the gym four days a week and drives a red Mazda Miata he refers to as "his bitch."
The dude named "Arthur" or "Alex," who talks with a nondescript Russian accent, and believes he could've been the next Jean Claude Van Damme if he didn't pull that hammy after high school.
Yet here he is, The Samovar, pulling in two sophomore sorority chicks from the local Fashion Institute.
It's as inexplicable as that smooth and clammy chest he's revealing.
I would love Aqua's ample bosoms like a malnourished Nepalese tiger. Named Joe. Who dances with Mowgli to Disney songs during Disney On Ice. And then licks Aqua Hott like a salt lick back in the green room. Because, uhm, I like big boobs. But you probably got that subtext already.
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The samovar desires tea. Bring it to him or face his wrath.
Something about Teal McRack is dirty. I think there is a good amount of lint hiding in her cleavite. She has "Kung Fu" tattooed on her ankle.
If we were stranded in the Andes, I'd volunteer her to be the first to go, as you could feed a family of 8 on those thighs for a week.
Something about Teal McRack is dirty. I think there is a good amount of lint hiding in her cleavite. She has "Kung Fu" tattooed on her ankle.
If we were stranded in the Andes, I'd volunteer her to be the first to go, as you could feed a family of 8 on those thighs for a week.
Aqua is flashing us two fingers. Is it a secret code, as in, "Samovar is holding me prisoner on the second floor?" Or is it the number of bags you would need to put over her head? Discuss.
# posted by 
: 8:12 AM
: 8:12 AM
Dude, you put the glare block under your eyes, not around your eyes!
Why do I get the feeling that aparment smells like ass, adidias cologne, J-Lo's crappy perfume, stale beer, stale marijuana smoke, 3 day old mac'n cheese, farts and propane? Just a hunch.
Why do I get the feeling that aparment smells like ass, adidias cologne, J-Lo's crappy perfume, stale beer, stale marijuana smoke, 3 day old mac'n cheese, farts and propane? Just a hunch.
@plinky
I concur, but I think you left out the dog piss. He has a part-husky mutt named Lotka, whom he viciously curses at in Romanian in lieu of regular walks outside. Our only hope is that Lotka will eventually get fed up with him and tear his throat out while he sleeps.
I concur, but I think you left out the dog piss. He has a part-husky mutt named Lotka, whom he viciously curses at in Romanian in lieu of regular walks outside. Our only hope is that Lotka will eventually get fed up with him and tear his throat out while he sleeps.
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
evidently, these two ladies have had a little of The Captain in them.
Samovar looks like he could run with the joey porche crowd if he was only a little more orange.
nice hardwood floors.
Samovar looks like he could run with the joey porche crowd if he was only a little more orange.
nice hardwood floors.
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
The two babushkas have legs that could crush a man's skull.
Sergei Douchevilovich probably own a pawn shop in Brighton Beach where he peddles afghan black tar out of the back room. I hear he beats his dog as well.
Sergei Douchevilovich probably own a pawn shop in Brighton Beach where he peddles afghan black tar out of the back room. I hear he beats his dog as well.
@ reservoir douche
Exactly. How could I have forgotten the stale dog piss smell?
Not to mention the $1.99 cigar smoke stench coming from one of the backrooms where illegal Hold 'Em games take place along with tattooing by an in-house 'artist.'
So add ink and the faint smell of blood to the list of stench.
Exactly. How could I have forgotten the stale dog piss smell?
Not to mention the $1.99 cigar smoke stench coming from one of the backrooms where illegal Hold 'Em games take place along with tattooing by an in-house 'artist.'
So add ink and the faint smell of blood to the list of stench.
There is likely a smell emanating from the "beverage" on top of the fridge, too. Let us consider that "odor X". I agree that Dirty Fishtank on the left is a little tainted, but lint is removable, just like aqua dresses.
# posted by : 9:09 AM
: 9:09 AM
We all know this guy. Was an ass in high school and drove a 70's era root beer brown Trans Am with T-tops and the eagle sticker on the hood. Stupid, load, an obnoxious drunk. Picked on smaller guys, has a little dick and cry's about it when he gets really drunk.
Nothing has changed.
I find nothing attractive with either of high milage tool boxes.
Nothing has changed.
I find nothing attractive with either of high milage tool boxes.
Greased out Eurotrash Guido complete with ass chin - nice to know the very best examples of Western culture are being shared across the pond.
I just noticed the thighs on these... em... er... girls. They are either race horses or they both have a little surprise waiting upskirt for our bag.
I just noticed the thighs on these... em... er... girls. They are either race horses or they both have a little surprise waiting upskirt for our bag.
# posted by : 9:41 AM
: 9:41 AM
I would pay so much money to smash this guys face with a cinder block. Seriously, I hate this useless bag so much. Imagine actually having the displeasure of really knowing him? What's with his god damn smug douche face?
# posted by : 10:51 AM
: 10:51 AM
'guido puncher' I am sooo right there with ya. I grew up with dbs like this ya-hoo and let me tell you... they would bang your dad if they could.
# posted by : 11:13 AM
: 11:13 AM
He looks like he's been running with the Goose for a while. And they look like they're addicted to what his dick did ya diggg???
# posted by : 11:19 AM
: 11:19 AM
They have a little of the Captain in them, and a lot of the rest of the crew. Something seaman something something. Seriously, ladies, that is an unappealing pose.
# posted by : 11:30 AM
: 11:30 AM
The Samovar is an ancient Persian tea brewing device immortalized in poems by Rumi.
'The Samovar' here is a 29-year-old Jersey City scumbag who can hardly operate a sheesha properly at an East Village Hookah Bar with two lacrosse-playing freshmen at F.I.T. he snagged via Facebook using the alias of "Arthur - New York University '08"
You can find him selling mobile phone accessories six days a week. Open on holidays.
Also, legs.
'The Samovar' here is a 29-year-old Jersey City scumbag who can hardly operate a sheesha properly at an East Village Hookah Bar with two lacrosse-playing freshmen at F.I.T. he snagged via Facebook using the alias of "Arthur - New York University '08"
You can find him selling mobile phone accessories six days a week. Open on holidays.
Also, legs.
# posted by : 11:42 AM
: 11:42 AM
@don
Good on ya, man.
Even if its not the surname you share, rest assured El Pibe will always be the most popular Valderrama the world will ever know - far more than a flaming douche like Wilmer.
Good on ya, man.
Even if its not the surname you share, rest assured El Pibe will always be the most popular Valderrama the world will ever know - far more than a flaming douche like Wilmer.
I know that guy. He's from Union NJ.
Him and his friends are a bunch of fucking Guido wannabes.
He's not even Italian; He's Portuguese!
Him and his friends are a bunch of fucking Guido wannabes.
He's not even Italian; He's Portuguese!
# posted by : 3:49 PM
: 3:49 PM
These ladies are heros!
This photo was snapped microseconds before Aqua Wonderwoman completed her progeny-ending round-the-world knee-smash to Sam's groin. Flamenco McBlack is going to demo her patent-leather stiletto machine-gun instep-stomp.
You Go Girls!
Pants (and hypens) are Just a Suggestion
This photo was snapped microseconds before Aqua Wonderwoman completed her progeny-ending round-the-world knee-smash to Sam's groin. Flamenco McBlack is going to demo her patent-leather stiletto machine-gun instep-stomp.
You Go Girls!
Pants (and hypens) are Just a Suggestion
# posted by : 3:56 PM
: 3:56 PM
God, plinky and resevoir douche. I can so smell that stench...
And not like I usually notice these things, but those patent pumps on the blond chick are butt-fuckin' ugly with that cheap dress she's wearing.
The subtext of this pic makes me wretch.
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And not like I usually notice these things, but those patent pumps on the blond chick are butt-fuckin' ugly with that cheap dress she's wearing.
The subtext of this pic makes me wretch.
# posted by : 7:43 PM
: 7:43 PM << Home
