ladies, say hello to his little friend.
 

his chin looks like eugene levy's pubis. trust me, it does.

check out my new ricky pic
 

He looks like he chin-butted Eugene Levi's groin plate and ran like hell.

Uber-Douche Scott Storch called; he wants his oversized douche shades back.

You know what they say, NASCAR Hottie - Grass don't grow on a race track

What's that written on left hot's hand? "The Corner"? Is that to remind her to go to work tonight?*

*errr, that was harsh but dammit I saw a shot and I took it.
 

no worries darksock. i'll try for something worse...

that must be the same exact face she makes when you 'accidentally' put it in the wrong hole.
 

3 bad hats = 3 bowls of free soup.

Now on to this guy: that's not chin pube, it's a chin pad. It comforts his chin bone when he rests it on the toilet paper dispener. Above the dispenser is where truck drivers stick their cranks through a hole in the wall. So it's really just padding while buster here is earning a living.

And nice outfit by the way. Were you having a seizure when you dressed yourself? Couldn't decide on which race you wanted to represent?
 

Nice T-shirt.

"Ayyy pelicans...fly away pelicans."
 

Darksock is on fire today!!
Blingbag here is a dime a dozen where I live so I am almost immune to such choadbaggery.
He should go hug a moving Amtrack Acela.
 

"Scarface" on the T-shirt = Instant douche
 

Its cha' boyee Mc Rats Ass coming at cha, Ya herd??? Holla at me, dawg. Reprezentin The ghettoes of Greenwich, CoNn iT TI Kut! Wha what! I gotz ma' hoes, the CoNn iT Ti Twats wit me, aight. whachu know bout dat, huh? Aiiiiight? Word.
 

His chin pubes look a bit like Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell's. It's like a third eyebrow.
 

Those red shirts with the checkered arm strip are 3 for $10 at Walgreens. Get 'em while they're hot!
 

20 dollars says his name is Kevin, he sleeps 18 hours a day (the amount comparable to the average housecat) and he loves Alfredo noodles, because it makes him feel like he's in The Godfather pt 2 (which was the best in my opinion, but hey, whose keeping count eh?).

All of these things coupled causes a catostrophic emergance of douchebag.

oh and

you motherfuckers i am tony montana take this TDHTed hat off of my head or i will shit fuck your grandma while the bitch on the left fucks overweight black jazz musicians whilst holding six buckets of fish heads you dorks.
 

don parmesan guido linguini:

don't forget to add that Greenwich whiteboy here drops the act come Monday morning as he's taking the Amtrak into New York City to the cushy bank job his daddy got him the minute he graduated from Yale.

This guys was the inspiration for those rich druggie kids in "Traffic." Go get 'em Javier Rodgiquez Rodriguez!
 

that's why she can't have no babies, her womb is po-llute-ted
 

He's Henry Rollins' Douchey little brother, Billy "the Goat."

Camo cap cutie is rubbing her throat with a satisfied smile... I knew she looked familiar.
 

i can imagine this fat, smelly failure hovering over one of these hotties, about to infect her with douche...all the while squeezing out silent but deadly bratwurst farts, that slowly knock the girl unconscious. he's a fucking flatulatory rapist.
 

This thread is a little raunchier than usual...time to up the ante':

That bitch has genital herpes, she gave them to me last year, i accidentaly gave them to the girl scratching her outbreak on the far right, and she gave them to this doucheass by way of oral pleasure, and she's a whore, and she's a whore, and you're a whore, and everyone's a whore whore.
 

Plinky:

Word...I mean I concur.
 

I love how chick in the background is trying to either a) choke herself from this horrid scene or b) caressing the last load she swallowed in the bathroom down her trachea. My guess is the bag was just doing the same shortly before this pic
 

Whats with the broad in the back? She looks like she's auto-erotic axphixiating herself to her happy place. Who would want to die with stupid hat on?
 

The chick in the background wearing the 'Painter Clown' cap she bought at a flea market is merely trying to see if she gave herself a really smooth shave.
Nope baby your clean. No stubble. At least not for another hour. Party on hat'bag.


This guy looks really obtuse. And by obtuse I mean SAT scores = 314. He even got his name wrong on the test.
 

Ugly Hat is just checking her shave from this morning. No stubble? Check. Adam's apple intact? Check.
 

@bcs "flatulatory rapist"...that's awesome.

This pic is a smorgasbord of chode
 

I hate this guy.
 

Damn it, plinky, you beat me to it! Or, as our friend would say (clears throat):

you motherfucker that bearded girl is my circus freak take the blowjob down or i will have Gillette fellate your mace or i might shave my slacker friends' taint and make them bleed like my asshole after Lucky Luciano gets through pounding my bass when you have a TV party tonight all right rise again rise again!
 

resrvoir douche:

oh, I thought you were entertained by the 'Painter Clown' cap reference.

The shaving bit was too easy. But your deft touch of making the adam's apple reference made both our jokes better. So in that sense you're like BASF. You don't make the jokes we enjoy, you make them better.
 

you motherfuckers those are my sisters pubes on my chin take the photo down or i will have my sunglasses delete your page or i might have my hacker friends fuckup my hat tilt and make it impossible for your asshole to euphorically tingle in a federal pound you in the ass prison you motherfucking doodi p's.
 

I hate it when muthafucks think there so dam fly and there so dam cool when really there just big ass douchbags!
 

anon @ 1:24 -

Mom, for the last time, get off this website. Get back to burning the corns off dad's feet.
 

@plinky

"Painter clown" is an excellent description. Although I'm kind of intrigued by the fact that there's also a Purina log on the hat. A painter clown who also works at the local Agway?
 

Fellow baggers,
When I consider Rat Chin, Old Red, Batbag, and the thousands of dbags before them, I have to wonder. . .

Which came first, the hottie or the douche?

Are the hotties as entertained by the otherworldly levels of douche that are out there today or are they as honestly attracted to the douchesticks as they douchesticks are to themselves?
 

Wow. This place is douche central. Nice camo hat baby swallower chick. Choke those last couple swimmers down damn it, Im not changing the sheets again.

Is that a little wink of side boob I see? I think it is!
 

MC'bag is scarier than Kurt Russel binging on gnu potatoes.
He is slimier than Jack Nicholson in One Who Flew Over the CooCoo's Nest,
and yet, I can't help but have a special place in my soul just for him. And by special place, i mean shit, and by shit, yes, i mean poop.
 

reservoir douche:

exactly. the type who terrify children at the mere sight. Also the type who make half-assed balloon animals which look nothing like animals but more like abstract art or subliminal references to phallics.
 

Goodness gracious are you bags hilarious today, i've went through three keyboards in the last thirty minutes!
 

DB1,

"The douche is strong with this one" - His MidiDoucian count is off the charts. Possibly he once lived in the pool house of Richard Grieco or maybe got a hummer from Yasmin B. behind the tilt-a-whirl at the Gwinnett County Fair back in 2005.

Either way, this guy just won the triple trifecta of scrote.

a1. Hat tilt
a2. Sticker on hat
a3. Stupid glasses

b1. Bag face
b2. Chin pubes
b3. Douche face

c1. Scarface T
c2. Hand gesture
c3. Bling

Its "Vanilla Mice" by a chin pube....

Time to shoot this one in the head and send him to the glue factory.

As for "racing stripe" hottie, i'd like to show her my riding crop and give her a Moustache ride...

-- I have spoken from the TEMPLE OF THE DOUCHE
 

@plinky

You're mom goes to college.
 

Wow, this guy is uglier than Ed
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

@ plinky

Just to clarify, that was a Napoleon Dynamite reference, and it should have read; Your mom goes to college. Please understand, I mean no offense to your mother. I feel really bad now. I'm such a fuckin' loser. Sorry.
 

@ anon 2:56

My mom was part of Animal House.
Thatz wear she lirnd to spel.

Now please leave my mom alone she needs to study; and to finish biting off the blisters on dad's toes.
 

@ anon 3:09

No offense taken. I have no idea who you are and I'm pretty sure you don't know my momma. So how could I get mad?

Besides, I love mother jokes. Here's one (and it's not directed at you):

Your momma's so fat she's got her own gravitational pull.

ba-dum-bump!
 

Why do I get the feeling that this choad's name is Brad, except that he spells it B-RAD. You know, like "be rad."
 

Is that Heavy D(ouche)?
 

@plinky

OK cool.
Here's another mother joke:

Your momma's so fat she broke her leg and gravy came out.
 

Yo, bowf yo mamas is so phat, when sum1 sez itz chillie outsyde she runs outsyde wit a bow.

YA DIG?!?!
 

Yo momma so fat they used a back hoe for her C-section

Yo momma so fat she uses greased epileptics for vibrators

Yo momma so fat she eats with a rake

beeyotches
 

how come Ed gets all the Anon haters? What are we, chopped liver?
 

oh and don't you love the guys that leave the fucking sitckers in their hat i think its stupid personally but who says tha-

you motherfuckers i am my hat sticker and take your drawrs off, and work your legs, open your ass up like a keg, let me tap it, i must have it mmm, furry fool, you are mine, I'll drink your ass like wine and when semen pours all over your head you know you must be dead
 

In Soviet Russia, Ed hates anons.
 

@ DS

the epileptic joke was priceless, like accidentaly discovering that your wife has a small herpes wart on the outer side of her labia and has had six kids by three black men.
 

@darksock

Sorry man. Here, take this:

You're a poopie head!

Feel better now?

You're welcome.
 

your momma's so fat she's considered a solar ecplipse when she steps outside.

your momma's so fat she's got her own zip code.

your momma's so old her birthcertifice it written in stone

your mom's so old that time counts here.
 

@hanksanass

As a black man I am highly offended by that last remark.
 

what the f*ck is wrong with me?

should read: birth certificate is written in stone.

aye-yaye-yaye.

and: your mom's so old that time counts her.
 

Nice word play there condi...You certainly are a black man...an ugly one at that
 

yo momma so fat she irons her pants in the driveway

yo momma so old she got an autographed bible

yo momma's teeth so rotten when she smiles it looks like her teeth's in jail....and she spits YooHoo

yo momma's teeth so yellow when she smiles traffic slows down
 

Your momma's teeth look like their at a concert: everyone's crowding to the front

Your momma's so fat, she jumped on the rainbow and made Skittles.

Your momma's so fat, to fuck her you've gotta roll her in flower and find the wet spot

and, I think DS meant: Your momma's teeth are so rotten, it looks like her tongue's in jail.
 

Yo momma is so old she's got jesus' beeper number

Yo momma is so old, when she farts dust comes out.

Yo momma is sooo nasty, I saw her washing her puss outside with a fire hydrant. I asked her what she was doing, and she says "keepin' the crabs fresh."
 

your momma's so fat she has to be weighed with a crane.

your momma's so old she had to wait for the big bang.

(heh heh. 'autographed bible.' great one darksock)

your momma's so fat she doesn't have a waist she has an equator.
 

you motherfuckers that fat girl is my momma take the yo momma jokes down or i will have google delete your page or i might have my hacker friends fuckup this site and make it bleed like your asshole after your dad gets through pounding your ass when you visit him in prison you motherfucking dorks
 

@ Condolezza

I hereby apologize, not only for offending you in all of your beautiful black glory (no pun intended. Not a racist man myself.), but also for the fact that you do not know how to use proper punctuation. In addition to the two afformentioned apologies, i'm sorry that you aren't actually black.
 

Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!

Yo mothafuckin' mama's so fat that the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale!
 

Straight brimmed hat + sticker left on brim = INSTANT DOUCHEBAG
 

anon @ 4:19

Mom what the fuck?!?! Get the hell off this site. You're embarrasing me. Go give dad another breast exam. His boobs are looking a bit lumpy these days.
 

DS anons dont hate you because you are funny. Ed is not. He is a creepy old man
 

@ plinky

you motherfucker I am your mothers fathers brothers Joey Porsche take down that comment or i might have my stacker 2's kick in and my bag of coke will rip open shrouding my hair in white powder or i'll have feces crawl out of the toilet and clean your fathers feet with a toothbrush that has been used on Jennifer Lopez's cunt flaps you dorks
 

Jennfier Lopez's cunt flaps??
wow. {{shudder}} That must smell like low tide on the Jersey shore.
 

Skillz:

The word you are looking for is "they're".
 

@hankanass
youreanidiot
 

@anon 5:32

I could make a sorry-ass attempt to justify myself like ALL CAPS RANDY FROM B96, about how i'm young, and how i've got women, and how I promote clubs, but unfortunately I do none of that. I sit in a cubicle all day long, making mediocre paychecks, and this, in all honesty, is my only form of entertainment. So kudos to you for making me feel bad, you really came through with that one.
 

And on second thought: shove it up your ass if that was the best insult you could come up with. I've had 16 year old punks hurt my soul worse than that sorry colostomy-bag of nonsense. Go to hell anon, go to hell, and leave the name pun out of this.
 

oh yeah and you forgot the S...just thought i'd inform you.
 

hanksanass:

wait 'til you're about to get married and buy a house and all that other 'grownup' jazz. then those meager paychecks get more and more meager. I should know.
(I'm assuming your single and such?)

Now if I could get my woman to stop buying so many damn purses I might have more time for my leisurely activities ... hunting bullfrogs with a flamethrower and giving hot bartender chicks the 'ole eye, asking for their phone numbers, then giving their numbers to the most homely bags in the place. Such fun it is to fuck with people.

Now if you'll excuse me I've got to go cut mom's Mississippi Mudflap. (that's a mullet.)

sorry about the Mississippi thing, darksock.
 

@Plinky -
Actually i'm recently divorced. I rent due to my credit score being something like 460. And the paychecks HAVE been getting smaller and smaller. As far as the anon, fuck'm. Figured he would feel bad with a sappy post...
 

What the hell is this? I go home for a nice dinner with my family, watch some TV, check to see if DB1 put up a Pumpy picture, and find that anon is bashing me again. I haven't even been in this thread.

Anon, you either have a really creepy grade-school crush on me or your just a pole-smoking, glory-hole jack-ass.

There are reg's much better than me around here, what are they chopped liver? darksock, pfah, boat, rocky, danny, plinky, hank, to name but a few. Sorry fellas, if I left a couple guys out.

Every time I think I'm out of the pattern, anon drags me back in. What a miserable dick!
 

looks dark in there. not dark enough to not wear sunglasses though of course.
 

you left out ricky.
 

ed

"You're no slouch yourself, Judge."
(Caddyshack)

hanksanass

I hear intern's at Chicago's b96 make booku bucks, you should apply for a job there. I also hear they throw terrific parties. What's that place called, the Crankbar? Oh my bad. It's Crobar. Same difference.
 

Chick on the right side of the screen (the one swallowing the load) looks a bit like Jennifer Morrison (Cameron on House)...yummy :)
 

@bcs, yeah I meant to include you, scrotastic, scrotebob, and some others who I can't come up with at the moment. We're just all having fun goofing on douchebags and anon turns it into a hate-fest like he's one of the JP clones or something. I know that shit's fun every now and then but give it a rest once in a while.
 

Maybe I left the s out on purpose, but I guess if the condolezza rice joke escaped you then this one is waaaayyy over your head. Man, what a bunch of little babies, the way you all start crying when it's your turn to take a little abuse. You remind me of a bunch of six-year olds who can dish it out but can't take it. Grow up and act like men for a change.
 

The only type of facial hair more douchebaggy than the ratface is "Amish time", a style becoming more popular by the day.
 

wow Ed has a persecution complex. Shocking
 

by the way ed, i am only one of the anonymous folk that hates you. you are universally loathed
 

@anon 8:23 and 8:24 --

Shut the hell up and find another sandbox to pee in.
 

aaaah race blondie to my right... I would not be too fast neither too furious with you, I would drive to the hell's curve fall and die engulfed on flame and twisted metal of a dodge charger just to see you cross the street with that racing uniform.

Mafia machawt hottie yeah I know I am impressive ;) thank you

to the douche... BE CAREFUL SOMETHING IS CRAWLING ON YOUR CHIN!!!! fungi? Rat? Bat???

Hans Von Douchepants
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

@anon 7:46
your CONDOLEEZA joke was quite funny, it did not escape me. but what also did not escape me was your misspelling of CONDOLEEZA's name. I did not mention it before because I thought your joke was quite witty, although now that you're being a penis pump inflated, herpes sore havin' dick to the good folks on this site I must indeed mention your fuck-up that was obviously not a typo as you did it more than once.
I doubt the joke escaped anyone else here either. All of the regulars here are reasonably intelligent so I don't think your joke caused any sort of massive cerebral failure for anyone.
If you are here to spread hate to anyone other than the douches in the pictures you should go give yourself a full frontal lobotomy with the carrot that Prompa uses to dye his skin everyday.

1
 

No prob, Plinky; we actually have a huge mullet festival in Biloxi every year; the most popular event is the mullet toss. I was so stoked to hear about it my first year here...then I realized it was about the local salt water fish called 'mullet'......ehh well
they taste good fried.

Anan 4:33 -

I think Ed's funny; the best limerick guy hands down. Admit it, you're a liberal (no shame there, I lean more left than right) and Ed's far right rants on his blog twist your colon. Here's the thing; I don't necessarily agree with some of the stuff Ed says. But he's nice enough leave it at the door so we can get our douche on. You should too. Nothing's sadder than a polarized humorless outraged far left (or right) winger that demonizes people with opposing views. Maybe you'll understand a little better in 10 years after the piss and vinegar has mellowed. In the meantime, your Ed-fixation is sorta bordering on a passive-aggressive stalker man-crush and you're kinda weirding me out.

Now go suck a bong hit and r-e-l-a-x.....
 

Holy crap I can't believe some people get offended at a stranger's polictical affiliation
on a satirical website. That's like The Onion trying to print real news.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that anyone who gets upset and drags politics in here is either A. a passionate college student, B. a nimrod, C. a teenager who knows nothing of politcs (name the 3 branches of government in this country?) or D. a waste of some daddy's sperm.

There are other sites for that kind of talk people. If you're so passionate about politics then why are you on this site??

Alright, I caught a glimpse of something orange ... need to check it out, stew it over, and make my usual nickel-and-dime jokes.
 

Plinky:

Ummm, aren't options A, B, C and D the same person?

Self-righteous freshman screechers, spoiling to protest and armed with the considerable sage wisdom from their 18 years of existence, were my pet peeve in college. Pseudo-intellectual Douchebags.

I think that may be Ed's anonymous boyfried here...
 

darksock

These psuedo-intellectuals will learn the hard way. They'll also learn that working for a living makes them more stupider and les and les pashionate bout tings in lyfe.

Wright?
 

@darksock, I couldn't agree more my friend. Agreeing on everything isn't a prerequisite to sitting down to enjoy a beer together, or bashing a few douchebags either. You're right, the political bullshit needs to be left at the door. There are other places for that, but not here. We enjoy other stuff here. If anon isn't clever, creative, or humorous enough to participate in the spirit of this site without injecting the personal stuff, then he needs to, as il choadrino aptly put it, shut the hell up and find another sandbox to pee in.

That is all. It's limerick time and I don't want to waste any time defending agianst anon's personal hang-ups and creepy man-crushes.
 

My hatred of Ed has nothing to do with him being another political blogger with no formal training. Those people crack me up. What makes me personally dislike Ed(I don't want to speak for everyone) is that he is not funny, makes inane and sometimes bigoted comments, and really truly creeps me out. I mean when there are 60 year old men commenting about how they want to have sex with girls who could possibly be underage, I get the heeby jeebies.
 

By the way, having your own left, right or middle pseudo political blog=priceless douche
 

anon @ 8:33

But you're bringing your opinions directly to this site and attacking another blogger. You don't find Ed funny? Then skip him!! You have that right.
You don't like this site?? Then skip it!!
I don't personally believe you're asked to critique and comment everyone's style on this site. And you're not supposed to. If you don't like someone's humor then you're allowed to logoff and leave. And if someone does make an overtly racist or sexist or bigoted comment then you should call them on it because, personally, this is no place for that either.

But to endlessly go on and on and on about Ed is getting tiring. Just ignore him and try to use this site for what it really is: entertainment.
 

anon:

I am increasingly in favor of young girls having sex with creepy older men. Check back with me in 20 years. And you're riiiight behind me, dude.

Seriously, how the fuck can you hate someone you've never met? Take your pills. And instead of tilting at Ed's windmill, start posting on a KKK or anti-semitic site; those fucks need to be pestered by someone like you, not guys posting on a douchebag site....jeeez.
 

ATTENTION:

This is the 100th post.

That is all.
 

Nice responses to the anon Darksock.

P.S. I believe Ed is a lot closer to 40 than 60 and there are a lot of us posting here that are near that age and saying the same darn things as Ed.
 

My insistence stands, anon. Your comments are unwarranted. They are bordering on harrassment and are not welcome here.

With that, I leave you to go fuck yourself.
 

I guess the race to who gets herpes first is on a taint-delay.