Excellent idea! First ever doucheo'ween contest. This will hold me over until the douchy's.

-X
 

Nice, he even got a boob brush in.
 

the best halloween douche by far would be ol' xenu. i could actually pull that one off. i'm samoan and all i've ate over the last two weeks is raw flank steak, human growth hormone, and gunpowder. look out tom cruise, your ass is mine. (i mean sexually, of course)
 

Fuck Fish Slap

-Crow
 

hey someone could go as all-caps randy. just start eating hot-buttered pasta sandwiches dipped in whole milk from now till Halloween.
 

the photo: OMFG... Kill me.. please kill me now... if that gorgeous Caoba Amazon, embodiment of perfection, with her piercing sexy eyes, her amazingly perfect and 100% uniform tan, with THE smile that was banned in the north pole in 2000 'cause it can melt down the polar caps, her gorgeous perfectly sculpted by greek gods body and her devastatingly savage sexy hair that brings man down to her knees by just flowing in the air hotness prefers to be with that Douche... then pop a bullet in my forehead please, preferably of a RPG 7 =(!!!! OHH THE HUMANITY!!!!!

The disguise:

If I was to disguise me as a bag, I would disguise myself as the head of the triumvirate of douchery, king of oily skin, arch-douche of the light beer, emperor of orangness, top dog of stupid camera whore staring poses... the one and only... The GATOR!!!!!!

Back to the hottie: Boobies!

Hans "OH THE HUMANITY" Von Douchepants
 

That picture was hilarious. For Doucheoween I would dress up as the bag and get a guy friend to be the hottie. Oh the fun we'd have... Dressing up as a Prompa is not bad either, but I can't have people waste all their money on tanner, WE NEED TO BUY CANDY!
 

we're heading to the beach tomorrow for my agency's weekend anniversary party. it's Haloween-themed. sadly, i am not going dressed as a douchebag. however, i AM going dressed as a fellow coworker that happens to have ginormous breasts. she's one of my best friends and i am hoping she doesn't get too pissed. my wife is doing my make-up and hair (wig). it's going to be ugly. i'll make sure i send DB1 pictures. and count on my avatar being a picture of the two of us. my other half is going dressed as Little Dead Riding Hood, and she looks hot as hell.

oh, and fuck you Fish Slap.
 

wow this bitch is latched on to fishslaps nuts like a herpes sore. she's in every damn pic.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Wow! The Slap sure did a nice job on those hair extensions...

It looks so... so... natural.

P.S. Don't blame me if you clicked and you haven't seen it yet. It's il choadrino's fault.
 

haha, i was about to send you this pic from hottestgirlsonmyspace.wordpress.com. Is this where the bag collector got this wonderful pic?
 

Lmao - this dude stylizes hair at a big salon in....CHICAGO.

Wonder if Randy's every stopped by there?
 

Hey, squatch... Don't thank me.

Thank The Google.

And The Interwebs.

And fuck Fish Slap.

I'm going as Ricky.
 

@Anon 6:53,

Stopped by there? Raggedy Randy lives there.

As far as we know, he caters to the whims of these people by using his hott DJ skillz to keep them momentarily occupied.

That is... as far as we know...

No offese, this is an honest question... New here?
 

Umm, yeah. I meant no offense.

I'm getting as bad with the speling gaffes as il...
 

@squatch.....you, of course, meant 'spelling', right?


thought so. heh.
 

Hey, squatish:

That's unclad for, man.
 

I'll say one thing for Fish Slap, he's got the old-school Atlanta Braves logo carved into his head...what's that about?

He's still a miserable douchebag...a Braves fan, but a douchebag nonetheless.

Or maybe I'm naively giving him the benefit of the doubt, and it really stands for "asshat".

How does a guy that cheesy and repulsive pull trim that hot?

If we knew the answer to that question, this picture wouldn't torment and mock me...and we wouldn't have anything with which to grapple every day.
 

@pfah and il,

Why are you atacking me? It doesn't matter. You can't hurt me one bit.

IT'S LIKE THROWING A PEBLE AT A BARE!
 

@squatch....hey now, wey're not attaking you. hell, i have had my fare cher of bad speling mistackes in the past. no worries borther. it's all good.

and pfuck Fish Slap.
 

He went as Vanilla Ice nice!
 

@pfah

Rfjdaisofmdksal;fmdsk!

Oh, man. I've gotta lay off the beer...

What the fuck is that jacket The Slap is wearing? It's like... someone rolled out a 'NASCAR Gay' line. Like 'Schmitt's Gay', just with less dancing. And more "brrrrmrrrrmmmrrrmmmmrrrmmm!".
 

@Anon 6:53 PM,

I get your post now. You inadvertently tossed a little ambiguity into your message that threw me.

When you were referring to "there", you meant the salon, not Chicago.

Mea culpa.

That'll teach me to knock back the roofies after work...
 

i am dressing up as a douchebag, just got my last piece of the puzzle today (jesus bling!). however my hot chick is alice in wonderland. beggars cant be choosers!
 

Fishslap.....holy christ. The razored in lines on his hair, are you kidding me? If you want some reasons to believe God doesn't exist I give you cancer, hurricanes, AIDS, and Fishslap.
 

"Just start eating hot-buttered pasta sandwiches dipped in whole milk."
Holy shit BCS.

Ah yes, my old fav, Bree is posing with Fish Slap. I'm still holding out for the possibility that she's a nice girl from Iowa who's been lead astray but is still redeemable. With lots and lots of help from me. And my collection of assorted California organic locally grown elongated fruit. Cucumbers, squash, and various legumes will wean her back to health. While at the same time improving her flexibility. And mine.
Sorry, what were we talking about?
 

racing stripes in his hair AND a racing jacket.......wow, this is amazing
 

this guy looks like a douchebag without dressing up.
 

I have a wig that I am converting into the "rooster wank hair disaster" I have already gone through ten cans of Aqua Net. As soon as I saw that asshole on here, I had no doubt as to what I would be for Halloween.
cock-a-doodle do
 

'Nascar gay' line--priceless, Squatch!

This 'bag gets douchier every time I see him. It's like he's hydra--every time we slay him, he only grows stronger!
 

I'm going as Tex. That guy kicks ass.
 

@squatch --

Just to let you here know:

I have reported your'e coments to our GENURAL MANGER and you sould be hereing from our layers in rejonal VERY VERY soon. I kno that you wont get away this. Not my watch. Top bras will be NOT BE hapy.

this is my FINAL WARMING.
 

Oh, and fuck Fish Slap.
 

Fuck Fish Slap.
 

we have seen this girl on the site before. She is smoking hot.

Oh and Fish slap is in the pantheon for a reason
 

Fuck Fish Slap. No he's with Bree? I'm driving my truck off a cliff.

Every now and again, when I'm feeling blue I go look at her myspace. At least I get happy I'n my pants for a while.

Lotd
 

Ah, Bree. She is like a cartoon caricature of pure sex. And I mean that as a compliment.

Fishslap, why did you shave the @ symbol into your head?
 

How ironic: this "guy" is a hairstylist but he's got the haircut of a Pelican Bay lifer.
The cost for a haircut like that?
3 cigarettes.
 

@plinky

You forgot inflation. For custom lettering, the price recently went up to 3 cigarettes plus a reach around.
 

reservoir douche

Holy crap that's funny.
 

I haven't seen lines this prolific since my trip to Nazca.
 

pliny you noonan and ed must hang out at the senior center together. what a bunch of homos.
 

i meant plinky.
 

Damn, Squatch; Pfah calling you on the carpet for spelling is like Pete Dougherty telling you that you have a substance abuse problem.

Maybe there are burrowing hair eating millipedes living in his pillow...?
 

@ anon 7:32

Ooooooooooh, good one. I see the "creative" writing class you're taking at the Junior College is paying off.

Ehhhh ... ... actually it's not. Take your D-game somewhere else.
 

really. listen up fag. you guys on this site think youre so sweet, youre a bunch of computer sucking homos. take your friends and go back to the library so you can watch the hot chicks and jerk off to them later in the shower if youre not too busy playing dungeons and dragons.
 

That is some serious trim.
I would tie a 5 pound dumbell to my balls with piano wire and run a marathon barefoot in Detroit dressed as a clansman for the opportunity to clean her lint screen.
 

Hot chicks at the library...weird.
 

Dickface Hussein, nice to see you again. Seriously dude, either continue your silent lurking or go back to your fluffing job with Scott Schwartz. I know that was over your head.

I think RANDY might have a fan here...
 

anon @ 8:06

Hey dickhead you're on a computer too!! The internet is not hard to figure out.

And what the fuck is Dungeons and Dragons???? I have no fucking clue. You're the homo for knowing what that is.
And I have a wife dickhead I don't need to jerk off. Except when I look at your mother. Now SHE is jerkoff material. Especially when she let's the beard grow in.

Now fuckoff you little gnat.
 

Oh, I almost forgot

Fuck. You. Fish. Slap.
 

@ Anon

What are you some kind of lurking queer boy peeking through the shower curtain while the guys shower at the gym?

Seek help for your voyeristic tendancies related to men, on the other hand ALL CAPS RANDAY is looking for a mouth to put on the other end of the "glory hole".

Put away the Imac and finish your homework, you're failing english.
 

Ok, so the shaved stripes on the top of his head are ridiculous obviously but what is with the swirl on his temple? Also, I really don't like it when men have shapelier eyebrows than I do. As if all that isn't bad enough, he's doing that glare thing with his eyes, like it's super sexy if people think pieces of dirt just blew into your contact lenses.


It's not, buddy. It's not.
 

@anon 7:32,

As your mom was leaving my place a few minutes ago, she was buttoning her blouse and said something about that stupid son of hers had better be cleaning his room and taking out the trash or there'll be hell to pay. I just thought you should know, she's sick of your shit...I mean I'm just sayin'.
 

ed

I thought I saw your car in the driveway. For a second there I thought is was anon's mom's husband. But she assured me the husband was at the plastic surgeon getting his boobs reduced.
 

What I just wrote makes no sense. Ed referenced his own place. Damn I blew a good joke.
Then anon's mom blew me.
 

"Computer sucking homos." You guys got totally served.
Ok, so really you didn't. But still, that line was kinda funny. You have to visualize it, sorta like DS's "felatiate a mailbox" line.
But gentlemen, gentlemen, please. We're all mature adults. Must we resort to insulting each other's mothers? Really, let's just get off moms. Because (drumroll please) I just got off yours.
But seriously. Anon? You're kinda lame. Just calling a contributor a homo out of the blue seems sorta pointless, ya know? If you're gonna insult somebody, at LEAST do it with some style.
 

she looks like the pornstar Naomi.
 

Vader, I don't wish to wallow with pigs like anon any more than Plinky, Darksock, BCS, Boatbutter, or any of us, but if he's gonna keep dragging me, and others, into his personal sty, then we've got to be willing to sling some shit. I know it's highly offensive, but so is anon. He doesn't have one creative thought in the rudimentary ganglion he calls a brain....just personal attacks.
 

fuck you ed, i saw you blowing a bum behind ralphs. noonan plinky and the rest of you fags set up bleachers and were all watching while you were jerking off onto a slice of wonderbread then ed ate it. fags.
 

Dude, Dickface Hussein, you are cracking me up. I can't believe you caught us. I thought we were more careful than that.
First the garbage man, then the computer sucker, now the circle jerk (at least that's what I think you were referring to). You're awesome, if you're the same douche from yesterday. Keep it up.
 

fuck you noonan. youre the bread eater. plinky held it, ed shot it, you ate it.
 

He's gotta be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. First off, how many straight men wear tiny nose studs. Second and most importantly, apparently he is a freakin' STYLIST! Gay or not, he deserves to be beaten senseless with a man purse filled with batteries.
 

anon, I have to admit, you've got some really good material. I'm trying to eat my lunch and I'm afraid I might choke from laughing. Too bad you don't direct all this comedy at the douchebags on this site, rather than wasting it on the other commenters.
 

Lets get this straight. Did I set up the fucking bleachers or did I eat the bread? I need to know.

Ed, help me out here.
 

Personally I think Ed is the bottom of this man sandwich, and not a power bottom either. I bet he just lays there like a dead fish when Danny Noonan hits it from the back. he then busts off on the couch like Seamen's Furniture
 

Ed also doesnt seem to get that he is very popular with the Gay Austrian community. There are lots of anonymous posters who are way into that scene. It is obvious that is the reason for his popularity. I mean seriously, have you seen the guy? He is one gorgeous hunk of wrinkly old fat man. The Austrian Gay community LOVES him.
 

Anon, I think you've confused me with your "roommate". I'm neither fat, wrinkly, or old.

Austrian Gay community? What the hell are you talking about? That doesn't even make sense. You might not be getting adequate oxygen to your brain. Try having your "roommate" not sit so long on your face as you indulge your smother fetish.

Danny, anon had a pretty funny bit going there and then he screwed the pooch by confusing the imagery...and by "screwing the pooch", I mean he literally screwed his pooch. I'm calling PETA.
 

anon

Your jokes are truly funny. I'm writing them down so I can use them on stage tonight. Is it ok to use your material?
 

fuck off plinky. i dont try to be funny.
 

anon has "blogger rage." I'd say he or she has road rage but he or she can't drive a car yet. Not smart enough.
 

suck it pal. like youre so smart sitting in your desk with your wireless keyboard and shit. me and my boys will see you soon.
 

Anon said, "i dont try to be funny."

Clearly, but you don't try to be clever, amusing, intelligent, relevant, interesting, reasonable, contributory, sociable, creative, or fun either....begging the question...what ARE you trying to be anon...besides a boring prick I mean?
 

Heh, heh...anon said, "me and my boys".

Was that an obscure Kramer/Seinfeld reference? Nice one.

I'm sure Plinky is looking forward to seeing your leathery scrotum which I'm guessing resembles a thin, brown dress sock with a couple of #3 bearings in the toe.
 

Anon, you seem to have a considerable gay slang vocabulary....I think you're suffering from AGM (Angry Gay Man) disease. Instead of projecting your self-loathing onto us, project your aggression to a more constructive place - like one of your ten cat's dimespot assholes. Rape the shit out of your feline posse, big boy; you can still say you got some pussy.....and you can explain the scratches by saying you fucked Amy Winehouse.

"like youre so smart sitting in your desk with your wireless keyboard and shit"...uhhh, what?
 

maybe i want to be a boring prick. now go suck off darksock and noonan faggot.
 

Amy Winehouse Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Holy crap that was funny!
 

guess whats going to piss you off. me calling you all faggots like you know you are then leaving this gayhomo site to go bang my hot girlfriend and never coming back. i get the last word faggots, so darksock keep beig a smart homo banging old guys noonan continue being a vagina ed just fuck off and shott yourself plinky go over to darksocks and suck his cock somemore. later fags.
 

Ed your approval rating in the Austrian Gay Community is skyrocketing. You really are a "Bottom Bear" Roar!
 

So Ed, what do you have to say to your fans in Austria?
 

I look forward to seeing Amy Winehouse's leathery scrotum ... once she doesn't get out of rehab.

By the way, how do you jokers get the italics and bold text?
I know I'm gonna get cracked on for asking, but I gotta know.

And for the record anon, we take turns sucking darksock's dick. Today was my turn.
So on a scale of 1 to 10 darksock how was it?
 

*YAAAAAAWN*

Sweet, another anonymous who acts like he doesn't give a shit then gets all aggravated when he receives a smackdown. Dude, you stole your funniest bit from an A Tribe Called Quest album that came out in freakin '93. Well played, sir.
 

plinky:

it's pretty easy, just check out this page:

http://www.w3schools.com/tags/tag_font_style.asp
 

ANONYMOUS friend. Me likey tribe called quest. ROAR. MItch Meats no like anonymous? Anonymous love Mitch Meats. Mitch meats tired, you go sleep now. Beddy bye. Mitch Meats might be tired from bugging out. Anonymous got the jazz.
 

mitch meats

Thanks dude. Now that's progressive conversation.
 

I love you.
You love me.
The shorty Mitch Meats is your favorite MC.

Plus, i will flips ya crazier than a busload full of Jerry's Kids. If you feel you can swing it, then money please bring it.
 

Zulu nation, brothers that's creation
Minds get flooded, ejaculation
Right on the two inch tape
The abstract poet incognito, runsss the cape
Not the best not the worst and occasionally i curse to get my
Point across, so bust, the floss
 

Is there just ONE anon out there who speaks a language other than Dipshit?

Guess not.

And actually I got the last word(s)in:

fuck you
 

Fish Fuck Slap...wait a sec...

In other news, I'm dressing up as a greaser (read: 50s douchebag) for a Halloween party tonight, so I might pop up on this site sometime soon ;)
 

Hey!!
Anon is my sister! take her comments off this site now or I will...Never mind. "Fuck You Fish Slap"
 

Jesus, I'm pissed Ed, Noonan, Plinky, and "THE REST OF YOU" were all invited to this bum-blowing (actually, kinda funny, anon...way to fuck it up), circle jerking, and bread eating party. I wasn't invited. I could have filmed it and we could have made serious money.

Jeez, guess I'll just have to ask mom if she'll keep the noise down upstairs and hold off on making me wax her back so I can play Dungeons and Dragons (with wireless keyboard!!!) and wait for anon and "his boys" to make it around to my house for my, I'm sure, brutal ass-kicking.

Two things: first, I live in the basement, but there's a trap door around back that you fellas can knock on so that you don't wake mom. She might hit you with a rolling pin, as long as you don't try to blow it.

Secondly, I'll be sure to pick up some syrup, sugar free for your boys that are watching their weight, and wax my asshole for the salad tossing pain you all are gonna try to bring.

Fuck you, anon. Get some better ammo if you're gonna come attacking the good people on this site, other than "youre gay." Try a thesaurus.
 

i still cant believe Slap is from Chicago. Well Jersey still has JP.


Fuck You Fish Slap.
 

Douchebagski:

D&D with a keyboard?!? Man, I thought you were cool...

I kick it old school style with 20-sided dice, pencil and graph paper.

Dork!

Wish I had a basement...